You Should Know Podcast - WE WENT TO ARMY BOOT CAMP! -You Should Know Podcast-

Episode Date: July 29, 2024

TOUR TICKETS: https://linktr.ee/youshouldknowpodcast?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&ltsid=cf28649f-95a7-4878-8701-fc4ea9c2f071 NEW MERCH: https://youshould-know.shop/password PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/YouShouldKnowPodcast FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/people/You-Should-Know-Podcast/61552092953106/ NEW TWITCH CHANNEL: https://m.twitch.tv/peytonhardin/home Peyton’s Polaroids: https://instagram.com/peytonpolaroids?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== TRUE VAULT ESCAPADES: https://youtube.com/@AtomicWolf54 0:00 NEW BEGINNINGS 2:07 MANSCAPED 3:39 CAM JOINS 4:50 Peyton Eats Dog Treats! 12:02 BIGFOOT N*DES 13:16 WILD NINTENDO PICTURES! 16:30 Heineken 0.0 17:44 Wife Takes Me To WAR! 20:12 Dating Without Social Media? 23:03 Wrecking My Friends Car! 24:29 The Alment Debate 26:25 What’s that SMELL?! 31:31 SCARING MY DAUGHTERS BOYFRIEND 34:35 BOOKING.COM 35:50 Peyton Stalks Cams Kids 43:44 COMPARING OUR BUTT 50:05 The Had Sanitizer DEBATE 51:26 How Are Streets Named?! 57:44 The Geography Debate 1:01:27 GEOGRAPHY QUIZ 1:14:33 IMAGINING LIVING IN OLD TIMES 1:19:40 DR.P ( Losing My Bro! ) 1:24:08 ANNOUNCEMENTS Todays Sponsors: MANSCAPED: GET 20% OFF + FREE SHIPPING AT MASNSCAPED.COM PROMO CODE PSH Heineken 0.0: https://shop.mikmak.ai/social/663bde5d1462a90bf68fc95c?utm_source=na&utm_medium=paid_digital_audio&ut Booking.com: BOOK YOUR TRIP TODAY WITH BOOK.COM YouShouldKnow P.O. BOX 191564 2825 Oak Lawn Ave Dallas, Texas 75219 FOLLOW PEYTON: https://instagram.com/psh8?igshid=ZDg1NjBiNjg= JOIN THE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/V5WYhSte2R Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Round of applause. Please. Give it to me, give it to me, give it to me, give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, episode 123. If you're new here, if you're not already, look below.

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Do I think Cameron had an exceptional performance? 100%. He is the hooper. So round of applause for Cameron having an exceptional performance? No. Do I think Cameron had an exceptional performance? 100%. He is the Hooper. So, round of applause for Cameron having an exceptional performance. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. And if we did not do good, ignore that. And if you clipped that, I'm calling the police.

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That's 20% off plus free shipping with the code PSH at Manscaped.com. No more juggling multiple tools or dealing with subpar results. Just efficient, effective, grooming whenever you need it. Now on to the rest of the podcast. Yeah! The You Should Know Podcast. We got co-host Cam back in the studio. There we go.

I've seen lots of people today. It's a lot of people. We got Big Dog K-Rob in the building. If you're in the Twitch, man. That's a dog. That's a grown. That is a... That's a grown man-ass bark. Do it again.

I like that. You know... I like when your mouth goes adjacent to where you're looking. Why is that? You ever had bad breath so bad, whenever somebody's talking to you up close, you have to turn a little bit? I know you have.

Oh, my God. I know you have. At the gym the other morning it smelled like just stale saliva yeah like just resting spit it's like all day of youth but it was like like slime yeah it sucks when you have to talk to people like you're smoking a cigarette in front of them you know what patty like i used to i'm so sorry to hear that you're like what the f*** it's a tough life

of the non-brushing community oh my god I know it's so early but I have to expose him expose me? what you did at my house the other day is the most un-human

inhumane thing I no no no there's certain things we keep off limits there's certain things we keep off limits to say it hey i'm gonna say if it's too much and then the post edit you can cut it out this man okay it was a tough day it was after the gym after the gym we come back to my house we're about to tan at the pool or my apartment sorry and we're sitting there tan at the pool or my apartment sorry and we're sitting there right and again he doesn't brush his teeth you don't brush it why why is that honest to god because okay can i tell you the honest truth why i don't brush my teeth because i have a it's like a habit in me when i'm it's nighttime time to go to sleeps

time to go to sleeps and i go into my bed i have to eat in my bed before I go to sleep and put on a movie. I have to. And then I just get into the function of eating in my bed right before sleep, and I don't have the willpower or grit to put my two legs back on earth and go brush. No, no, no, no, no. There must be confusion in the air this morning. That's fine. That's your nighttime routine.

You're not brushing when you wake up. Panic in the air this morning. That's fine. That's your nighttime routine. Yeah. You're not brushing when you wake up. Panic in the morning. When God blessed you with another morning, you said, I'm ready to go. Brush your teeth in the morning. No, I could. Because that, think about it. You ate Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips and maybe some stale popcorn. You watched Elmo.

You go to bed. You wake up 10 hours later. Your shit is rotten. No, no, no. Rotten. No, no. Rotten. And you know the crazy part about the morning

is i'll run warm water and put my mouth under and swish it around and spit it out that's the sick part i could just it's literally it's the soreness of the of my shoulders in the morning what i have short shoulder syndrome short shoulder back back to it okay get back from the gym go to my apartment we're waiting god bless we're about to go tan the pool. You remember this. I do. Because it's unbelievable. That's why I said don't say it.

So I go in my room. I'm checking on Liv. Oh, hey, babe. We're back. You feeling good? Everything? Making sure Prego is good. When I come back out into my living room, I see Peyton.

From the back. All I see is this. I'm like, what the fuck? I'm like, where'd you get beef jerky? What are you doing? This bastard is chewing on a dog dental hygiene stick. No. Because he thought it was applicable for all beasts and anything with a heartbeat.

It's like, you know how people like the, not tribes, but more of indigenous people, like how they can literally use like those sticks or like, I don't even know what it is, like bamboo or something, but they chew on that shit. You thought you were on the history channel. No, I can explain it. It's you and Liv's fault because y'all are angry tyrants. Y'all are mean. And y'all said we have to be somewhere.

Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. And I showered. And y'all were like, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. And I breathed out loud. And it went to my nasal cavity right there in the sphincter. Not the sphincter. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Your breath is asshole. You have asshole breath. That's what it is. That's where the confusion comes from. No, no, no. Right there. Regardless of what you're saying. Where where the confusion comes from. No, no, no. Right there. Regardless of what you're saying, where'd you get the stick?

Let's start there. Ruby's treat drawer. Oh, Ruby's cabinet. The dog's cabinet with the dog's toys, the dog's treats, and the dog's spray. But I grew up around a bunch of your people. One of them's name was and he used to eat dog treats and he was fine. He has a wife and kids now and the kid has both eyes. That's cool.

It's going to go to hell. Okay, let's start there. If he willingly ate dog treats, Tucker, I love you. You need to pray. Back to you. You definitely need to pray. You got it from the dog cabinet. Yeah, yeah.

So at the basis of that, right? Yeah. You grabbed something for a dog. No, you're acting like I was confused with what I was doing. I knew that was for dogs. I knew that was a hound utensil. But I was in a panic. No, shut up.

Okay. You knew that was for the dog. A hundred percent. I know Ruby's drawer. That's Ruby's drawer. And I've seen her, because I know Ruby's breath is adjacent to mine. We have parallel breaths. Pey Peyton you're not you're both of that of the underworld in guard dollars Peyton are you shitting me right are you being dead ass dead ass and that's certain this whole time I've kept this in waiting to get behind the camera because I thought I was going to shell shock you. I thought it was going to be a surprise.

You knew? You knew you were eating a dog dental stick. 100% aware of my situation. I was thinking that we had enough bond and trust that you wouldn't out me like that. Now I'm going to out you. Are you shitting me?

Now I'm going to out you. The outing of me's can wait maybe 20 more seconds in a house full of humans yeah you'd rather chew a bark stick yeah then ask for toothpaste no because liv's gum makes me gag ryan has listerine i have the doctor one you know toothpaste and water swishing around maybe you know said hey hand me the bamboo with the jelly chicken flavored bacon inside. You are a gargoyle. It was mint. It was mint.

You know those are mint. And it helps Ruby's breath. These are green trees. It was mint. It was her green things. And I think I helped her buy some. And I said, that's for the both of us. That's a group project we got going on.

But it's not my fault because you and Liv are angry people. And so whenever y'all really want to get somewhere, you't give time for leniency and you know how I am whenever there's a panic situation I don't know how to function and so I was like the closest thing to me I was already in the kitchen I know Ruby's cabinet I'm gonna grab those goddamn mint treats it makes her breath smell good didn't make mine smell good it actually made it worse what do you know shocker i think it took enamel i don't i actually don't know the price tag it would take for me to eat one of those i really don't oh you should try i'm a i'm a garbage disposal of a stomach and a throat syndrome man cam shut up i'll eat anything whenever ruby was first born and you were trying to create her into

bronnie james jr you were trying to make her something she's not you were trying to create her into Bronnie James Jr., you were trying to make her something she's not. You were trying to get her into military protection. I was feeding her good. And the first time you made her that weird-ass oat and kibble, put it in the microwave, put a little honey basil on it, all that weird shit, a little pesto sauce for a dog that can't breathe on its own properly. Pesto. Pesto sauce? What am I making? Linguini? What am I doingesto pesto sauce what am i making a linguine what am i what am i doing pesto

sauce yes or no the first time you made it yes or no no yes or no you're like this is my this is my daughter this is my daughter you put in the microwave the house smelled like asshole oh you took it out you got a spoon no no no you like, I'm a chef and this is my daughter. I got to make sure she's going to be okay. No shot. I'd take a little chef taste. No shot. No shot. I'm not Bigfoot like you over here.

I'm not trying shit made for dogs. They walk on all fours. I treat my dog like a human. I love her to death. She's my little princess. She's crooked and fat, but I love her. I'm never going to eat her kibble. Never tasted her kibble.

Couldn't tell you what it tastes like. Me and Bigfoot. Bigfoot's vitamin smells like asshole. Bro, it is horrible. Me and Bigfoot got a multivitamin smells like asshole. Bro, it is horrible. Me and Bigfoot got a lot of common. You do have a lot of, you have a, some would say too much in common with Bigfoot. Hair, wild. Yeah.

Body hair, grizzly. Keep going. What else? The way you walk, nasty. Keep going. What else? Oftentimes naked. What else?

Oftentimes in natural habitat. What else do we got in common? I don't, stop it. What else do we got in common i don't stop it what else we got i've never seen bigfoot's genitalia oh but if you could assume i can't compare you to it you could assume bigfoot bigfoot's meat versus the loch ness monster who you taking in the versus who's got the bigger snake you know what i mean loch ness monster wait are you the loch ness no i'm the bigfoot because i got hairy you got hair. You have to have a headlight flashlight to find my penis.

You have to have a headlamp and gloves. Good gardening gloves to find your Johnson. Your shit is behind California red oak. You have to. You're on a. It's Dora the Explorer. That's a young lady. That's a wild joke.

I apologize. You have to put on a safety vest that you can see at night time. You have to section off those little flags they put in the grass so they know to spray there. It's like, not here. Fun fact, exploring my body, my first nude I ever

took was on a Nintendo 3DS. You know? God bless you. You ever seen your shit in 3D before? Come on now. Talk about exploration, huh? Never seen the base like that. You took a picture of your mic on a Nintendo 3ds you open that 3ds you

don't know oh my god you don't know if you're gonna see Mario Kart on my penis you know Preston imagine Preston's popping up to open up Zelda. He's trying to go find the scroll, and he sees a Johnson just sitting there in 3D. Oh, imagine your mom. Oh, my God. She goes up for birthday gifts. She's going to go buy you a DLC pack. She opens it up to her kids. Rock hard, Johnson, because you weren't soft.

You definitely had some fanny flutters before you took the picture. No, it looks better mid. Half cocked is better. That's a blessing. It's too skinny. I would never take an image on a half cock. And then my dad opens it.

He's like, that's my son. Wait, are you standing by that? You like a like a pulsing penis torture yeah like not like it's more vascular it's not i now i agree on that the blood is surging it's going in and out yeah this is sick oh my god i hope i don't have a girl for that i'm so sorry uh for the rest of my life i have to watch what i say on here but i'm not gonna so god this is your dad and this is who i am no a dead ass 3ds, and I was like oh wow You're not getting a Nintendo for your birthday. Let's start there. I found a birthmark I didn't know was there you ever find a birthmark your birthmark on your Johnson

Yeah, but it takes up 90% of it. I was wondering what why I was two shades darker. No No, I think is that cousin biracial or is that cousin? It's definitely cuz you're biracial It's definitely because there's so much bacteria down there They're probably eating the layer the top layer of the skin and it for for natural selection to occur your skin had to Deploy a defense mechanism and made it darker and it somehow is saving it. Are you telling me? I want you to think about it. Yeah, you're claiming you have a birthmark on my johnson that covers 90 of your johnson yeah just the just the top part just right there on the front door that's a little light okay we're gonna we're gonna go backwards once more if it's just on the front door yeah and that's 90 of your johnson are you okay what you mean if only your front door is covered yet that's 90 of what you have to offer no no no are you are we oh no i was under the impression i don't know

that's why i make jokes you have to find it it's like a button on a tuxedo what is my johnson it's small it's like a cuff link. No. You know what I mean? It is nothing to write home about. That Polaroid is not going to make you through war. You know what I mean? You're not going to write home about that one. The You Should Know Podcast.

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Please enjoy Heineken responsibly. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. What? Can we fantasize real quick? I'm going to do a noise. CJ, write it down. We're going to imagine it's a thought bubble. Here we go.

We're on the front line. Trench warfare. God blessed be thy name. Thank you for all your service. We're on the front line. Trench warfare. God blessed be thy name. Thank you for all your service. Thank you for your services. We're on the front line. Trench warfare. I'm sitting there smoking a Marlboro light, puffing like nobody's business. Shouldn't do that.

You're in the middle of war. You saw Brian get his hand. You got to do something. That's a bit much. But imagine your little running boy, little 15-year-old, ugly with glasses. He runs through with the mail, throws you a letter. It's your missus from back at home. Nice little poetry.

She's working on the diction. Then you flip it, and there's a Polaroid. Of her? And she's Butterball-ass naked. Oh, yeah. Tell me that wouldn't make you want to go mow down some... That would... Oh, my God.

I would... That is like... That's like getting a max ammo in zombies. I would be ready, if I'm being honest. You see a butt-naked silhouette of your wife at home back in South Carolina on the farm with a little steed in the background? Oh, my gosh, she's butt-naked outside. Someone took her picture.

All imagination only goes to the fact it's probably her best friend who's also naked. And now, I mean, at this point, give me a Kimbo P90s. I'm running out there. I am running out there. He's running a Rambo. Oh, my God. It's going to be like 4th of July when I'm done.

I'm sorry. That's a bit, but that'd be nice. No, I'm too insecure for that. Oh, no. I'd be like. I thought I'd show the platoon. I'd be like, look what I get to go home to in three months. I'd show the boys.

I'm like, where's your girl, Williams? He's sitting there. He just had his LCL shot off. He's doctoring his leg. I'm like. Oh, that's funny. That dude. That's funny.

No, I would be insecure. I'd be too insecure. What? You or her? Me. I'd be like. About her or about you? About her.

Why? Who took that? I mean, yeah. And then my focus wouldn't be on here and I'd be gone. If you know your girl doesn't have a best friend that owns a Polaroid back in the 40s. Now it's like, who's, is it Benji? Who's taking the picture like what who is that is it the hvac guy thomas trying to swiggle back into your life that's okay

no i get that yeah i'm just i have too many problems let's just piggyback off that piggy me i think if we my grandma loved pigs she's dead now keep going going. She did. She loved it. She died. She loved pigs. Now I have an angel pig hanging off a banana holder on a piano. Every time company comes over, they turn it around. Everyone goes, what the f***? It looks like a little idol, like a little voodoo doll. That's supposed to be my grandma. Yeah, okay.

That's not. No, it's not. Yeah, she's my little. That's not supposed to be your grandma. That's my piggy angel. That is a remembrance of grandma. Yeah. Your grandma's not a pig. Let's just start there.

Okay. Back to my piggy back. Back to my piggy back naked silhouettes, Akimbo P90s. I'm so nervous what you're going to say. No, this one's a lot more tamed. I think, just imagine, okay, let's just talk about this. Imagine dating. The dating world.

God, scary. No social media. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I wish. If we were a teenager in 94. I wish. You're a junior going into senior year.

It's 95. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's not that hot yet. Global warming hasn't whooped our ass. God bless. Maybe 97 in the summer. You can wear leather jackets at night.

You can wear leather jackets and look cool. Give a real Fonzie vibe. Who's that? For another day. You gotta watch. Breakfast Club is one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life. Breakfast Club sucks. It's a shit film. Everyone raves about the soundtrack.

It's cool. Regardless, just imagine that. i would love it you because because you're you're you're a man of when you when you like a woman uh-huh you you give attention yeah and it's all of it and you're very very good with it like most guys really aren't like i'm not even i'm not sitting here glazing i'm just saying like glaze me gloss me up make me shine i'm not glossing you up make me shine i'm like all right let me find him i said where are you oh there you are little boy regardless yeah you you're very good with that yes but imagine that with no other guy trying

to hit her dms no other picture no temptations on the explore page god no no safari uh-huh no instagram no dms no no ig reels no tiktok no give me head top none of them yeah she goes to work she delivers a couple pizzas she comes home and bathes and you're throwing pebbles at the window oh my god i've thrown a pebble at a window fun fact she's driving a she's driving a 1989 like saturn iona oh my God. So I tried to do the pebble at the window type of thing for my high school girlfriend. But I didn't want to go to her house and do it because I was like, I don't know. Her dad kind of scares me. So she was in her car at a Sonic in the drive-thru. And I saw her.

So I grabbed the rock and I was like, shattered her passenger side window. So had to pay for that one. Orange Theory couldn't pay that bill. Oh, my God. Oh, okay. Speaking of doing something to someone you know's car. Yeah. Bro, I'm backing out.

We're about to go hoop. It's me, Tank, and another friend, Corbin. Okay. Corbin's in my back seat. His car's parked on the side of the road. God bless. I'm backing out of Tank's driveway. We're about to go hoop.

Corbin goes, hey, hey, watch out. I go, no, I'm good. Go, watch out. I said, no, I got it. Bam. Hit his car. I literally hit Corbin's car. Doesn't surprise me. Corbin is aggressive and he's stout. He's a thickum smack. He's in my back seat. My eyes are not coming off of my rear view. I'm like, if he moves, I am running. I'm like, Corbin, I'm sorry. I will pay for this. Please, let's not do insurance. He was pissed.

He couldn't even talk to me. So we go to his house. We just drive straight to his dad's house. He hops out, gets in his car, we go to his dad's. His dad is like a very southern old man. He's like, oh, this ain't nothing, Corbin. You tripping. Now, Cam, you're going to have to pay for this, though.

And I was like, all right. And then he racked a shotgun. Oh, I was about to say. I'm kidding. But he's like, you got to pay for this, da-da-da-da-da. Corbin didn't talk to me for about two weeks. What's wrong with Corbin? What kind of car did he have?

It was like a Malibu. What was he tripping about? He loves his items. I get that. And I ruined it. But it was like the smallest of dent. His dad even thought that we could go get a suction cup and some hot water and fix it. You can.

A little plunger. Basically, I ended up paying like $250, but it was wild. It was basically more credibility that I'm not the driver I think I am. Okay, thank you. You're a shit driver. You can't stay in your own lane. That's due to ADHD and distraction. Which makes you a bad driver.

I don't care if you have mental ailments. You're a bad driver. If somebody's blind and they're driving... I don't have a mental helmet. Ailment. Ailment. Ailment. What are you saying that I'm not? You're saying like three words at once right now. You're saying ailment, helmets, and ailments. I don't know. It's like a

nasty game of Dr. Seuss going on. You have a mental ailment. I don't think you're saying this right. Are you nuts? Say it again. You have a mental ailment. What are you saying? Ailment. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. No're saying this right. Are you nuts? Say it again. You have a mental element. What are you saying, element? No, I'm not. No, I'm not. No, I'm not.

No, I'm not. Cap's too tight. Let it go. You try it. That is... I honestly kind of like this, though. Like, I'm starting to fall in love with my natural, like, hat hair. I'm not going to lie, and I hope this isn't too insensitive.

If you were pumping your gas at about 7 30 at night and you had to walk a long way to throw something away you could be homeless you are very you are on the line you are very close like let's just hide the watch maybe take the earrings out if they see that standing over a trash can they're thinking you're coming to wash some windows. That's all I'm going to say. And then they look at my socks and they're like that. Your pinky toe goes sideways. You said it's like that.

This is your foot. Your pinky toe said, that was out there. It said, no, no. Okay, hold on. Hold on, hold on. You hold on. Because you brought hold on. You hold on. Because you brought up... I don't need my windows washed.

I saw Cam punch a homeless guy one time. I did not punch a homeless guy. You liar! You liar! Cam punched a homeless guy, took his coins. I took his coins? Because you were taking Liv. It was in college.

Yes, Cam. I punched a homeless guy. No, I did not. Look at you. You sicko. You wanted to take her on an arcade date and he said i need put that on my jacket no no no okay but i have a question because you're gonna have a kid one day right very soon actually not very but soon very soon how far along is live

in the in the relativity of life is it january yeah we're in july that's very bro six months is like no it's not regardless think about Christmas this year say you have a daughter right? I think you're gonna have a daughter So does she okay? Yeah, cuz you are you're gonna have a daughter right mm-hmm say Jimmy So let's fast forward little ginger plus fast forward 10 to no 15 years right 15 years from now. Are you still with us. What the f*** What the f*** is that smell? What was that smell? What?

Did you fart? No. What did I just smell? Nothing. No, I smell f*** so you're not gonna tell me I didn't smell something. What is that smell?

What the f*** was that? I don't stink. I'm not saying it to you. I'm asking. What is that? Are you sure you didn't? Maybe a belch. These are the same drawers I wore yesterday.

Okay. But I got Man's Case ball deodorant on. That's what I do. How do you apply? Do you finger your webbing and do you do you finger your webbing and then you you finger your webbing you give it an appetizer no that's what i do i literally go i move around my palm i literally johnson in the right balls in the left and i go no this is what cam does he puts a little bit on his pinky and he's like that will cover the balls

but okay you have a daughter in 15 years. That's it, right? How are we going about the first time she brings a boyfriend to the house? How are we going to go about that? Because I am going to be there. I have thought about this. If you're there. What the f*** does that mean?

Okay, you'll be there. But you're not going to be in the same room at the beginning. What does that mean? You're not going to see the kid right when he walks in. You're going gonna be In the same room At the beginning What does that mean? You're not gonna You're not gonna see the kid Right when he walks in You're gonna be creeping On the stairway You're gonna be using

Some little camera system I don't know Right when he walks in It has to be me It has to be the man Of the house That strikes some fear Into him

Okay It has to be He can't be like Oh shit I'm afraid Of all your uncles And everybody There's so many He needs to be like

I can't I can't lose that man's trust. Okay, good. Okay, I understand. Respect, respect, respect. So at the beginning, simple shit, I'm not going to be the dad that racks a shotgun or sitting here, I'm twirling like a ninja star.

I'm just like, it says one wrong thing. I'm like. You're not too intimidating yourself because you're like, hey, kid, I'll punch you. I go, you don't want some of this thumb? No. intimidating yourself because you're like hey kid i'll punch you i go i go you don't want some of this thumb no but at the time yeah i'd say god's honest i'm big on you need to have fear like a respectful fear but i don't want you to walk on eggshells around me i because i because it's it's mainly for me too i want the kid to feel comfortable to where he can show me his true colors see what i'm saying not to where it is you it's you i knew it was you i was laughing i got close to you and i smelled something bad

you're still shitting your pants and you lied to me in front of everyone i knew it was you that was new no no that was new some shit was old and rotten something was harvesting in your pants i'm not kidding i literally got on my knee to laugh and I went, what the f*** is that? And it was bad, bro. It was bad. That's just me. That wasn't a dude. I haven't been holding that toot for 48 hours.

No, you let one go about half an hour ago. Something's been settling in your pants. That's just my thigh hair. Regardless. It stinks. I want the kid to feel comfortable. Your thigh hair stinks? Because I want the kid to feel comfortable. Your thigh hair stinks? Because I genuinely don't wash properly.

I haven't used a washcloth. I'm still using my ex's loofah. This is going to sound... And that was like a year ago. I would honestly pay you money for us to take that to a lab, to a corporation. Put that under a microscope, and let you see all the creepy stuff on that loofah. No, we'd go to another lockdown.

There's a new pandemic if they search out. Dude, you stink! What am I smelling? What is that? Y'all don't smell anything either, do you? No, because they're not right next to you! It smells like a bad grape. Like a nasty, like a one of those pruney grapes that's been popped.

Don't touch me. That is I'm not, every time I'm I'm not having a good time. Let's just say that. I'm not enjoying myself. I figured out what it was. There's like a little poop bubble sitting on my dick and when I went like that, I felt it pop. It was like I had Mardi Gras beads going down my tail line. So

I regardless about you almost saying my tail line. So I regardless about you almost saying there's a butt plug in you. Let's just move past that very quickly. I was 18 to 24 inches away

from human waste in your butthole. Yeah, not 100%. It's not waste. It's just the air of waste. Okay, we're going to stop at an academy sports. We're meeting your daughter's boyfriend. And we're going to buy gloves because you need an ass whooping. Oh, my God.

Back to the kid. We're meeting your daughter's boyfriend. You feral creature. I want him to feel comfortable to where he's going to show me his true colors. Right, good. I'm not your friend. It's almost like I'm setting bait. If he takes it, he's done. We're done he doesn't take it i know he's a he's a

solid guy hopefully yes so i want him to feel comfortable i'm gonna be stern but maybe crack a joke or two let him talk whatever to where he goes into the right relationship thinking oh his her dad's cool yeah because in the second you're not cool to my daughter your shit's over yeah now when do i get involved here you get to come in i'm gonna fake in the conversation right i'm gonna let mama bear take it over like babe i'm gonna go get another uh glass of bourbon real quick i'll be right back and then as i walk back into the living room uncle p walks in with him maybe uncle ryan right behind us cj it's a gang they're terrified now he's i mean it is an insurgent it's like a search and destroy six on one he's not gonna ace this right yeah yeah we're gonna come in we're gonna clear all the corners uh-huh and

we're gonna he's gonna be looking yeah in the second he every time he looks say he looks at you this guy needs to get one foot closer yeah 100 here's that footstep he goes over here you're moving uh-huh it's gonna get to the point where there's 12 eyeballs so it's my rounding so it's our job to put the actual fear because i don't want to be this little friend i don't care about him exactly because i know and they're 15 16 right you're not gonna be with her forever you're gonna So it's our job to put the actual fear. Because I don't want to be this little friend. I don't care about him. Exactly. Because I know. And they're 15, 16, right? You're not going to be with her forever. You're going to make her sad one day.

You're going to break her heart. And I know you are. So you know what I'm going to do? It's true, baby. It happened to you. Like, what's the probability she meets the love of her life at 15? You know what I mean? It happened to you.

It happened to me. It happened to him. It happened to him. It happened to him. Leave me out. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to grab his shirt, right? And I'm going to put my lips in that boy's ear. I'm going to say, listen, boy, you ever seen seven before?

Getting a hit call on him because he's dating my daughter? I said, you break. Ditch my girl to In-N-Out once. You're getting his whole family off. You break my niece's heart? You like your little labradoodle at home? It's going to be hanging off a bridge in Guatemala.

You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You be like, I'll burn your shoes, dog. On your feet. Oh. You might not be there. If that is... He can immediately take you to law enforcement.

At that point. Oh, what? That is insane. He can prove that I said that? He said he's going to hang my dog off a bridge in Guatemala. He's going to burn my feet and kill everyone I've ever known. That's, okay, but didn't we know? He has to wake up and go to physics.

But then we know he's not the one, because we don't want a snitch in the house. We don't want him. If he's a rat, he's not the one because we don't want a snitch in the house we don't want him if he's a rat he's out of there he's that no but i'm definitely gonna tell him i'll be like hey i'm oh uncle p used to be a little city slicker i know all your little tricks all your little dirty dick tricks you're not going well okay okay don't put dirty dick on me i meant like a dirty trick using said penis okay i kind of I tried to make an alliteration. I'm going to be like, there's no ice cream dates happening at 10 p.m. on a Wednesday on a school night. I know what you're going to go do. Nothing's open at 12 besides Waffle House and legs.

You know what I mean? It doesn't smell like waffles to me. Get your ass back to your house and bring me my daughter. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode of The You Should Know Podcast is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking.com. Yeah. It's finally time for summer travel, and we could not be more excited.

I'm so excited. Booking.com. Booking.com. Yeah. Offers so many possibilities across the United States for all the travelers you want to be this summer. I am going to L.A. in a couple weeks. Tell me about it. I cannot wait to get into that lifestyle.

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Beautiful clubs and night scenes at nighttime. Oh, and Madame Tussauds Wax Museum. I can't wait to get involved in all that. And Booking.com. Booking.yeah makes it possible, and they make it easy. Booking.com's wide breadth of places to stay across the U.S. make booking whoever you want to be this summer so, so simple. From spacious villas for your bachelor, bachelorette parties.

Congrats. To bed and breakfasts for your summer road trips. Happy birthday. There are so many great choices on Booking.com. What are you waiting for? This summer you can book whoever you want to be on booking.com booking. yeah book today on booking.com now on to the rest of the episode and you know what honestly i'm going to stalk your child i'm not gonna lie

i i'm gonna stop i was about to ask you let me let me let me practice it you're hanging out with me and Liv It's a family night Hopefully your wife too Hopefully your wife By that point 15 years There we go Hello

The four of us are hanging out Why are we talking about the daughter? Because the daughter The daughter's like a beautiful little She's a little fragile A boy I'm going to tell him You do not be what Uncle P was like

Bro I want you to understand this Because Liv thinks That we're only going to be like this to the girl. If the boy goes and does some dumb shit. I'm putting hands on your kid. Yeah, he's just going to get like an elbow or a stiff jab. I'm like, hey, motherfucker. Yeah, like you don't do that.

You don't treat because I didn't raise you to treat like that. We don't treat women bad. He didn't show you to treat women like that. Your mom, what if I did that to your mom? Would you feel some type of way? He'd say yes and I'd go, all right, cool. It's sticking. Anyway. Comedy podcast comedy podcast comedy podcast only comedy purpose i love you son or daughter i love you both i've never put my hands on you unless you do so say live i need you to be all

eyes and ears on this one i'm not gonna lie to you our daughter 16 years old i know what you're gonna say and i'm there for it. And this is not to be weird. And my daughter, when you see this in the future, this is to be weird. But it's just... But every girl did it. Every girl went through it. It's a phase of life. Every girl, yeah.

Say she's done with her puberty. She's almost full grown. She's trying to show off her body to all these little boys. God bless her. She's running around. That's what's on her mind, right? That's on the top of her mind. She's trying to impress the boys.

She's trying to impress the boys. But dad's a psychopath, right? I say, hey, it's 85 degrees. I want you in burlap sweats and a hoodie. Go to the mall and have fun. She goes, okay, dad, I love you. I get a kiss. Mom gets a kiss.

She leaves. She gets picked up by her friends. Maybe she's out of the car at this point. She drives to Vanessa's house. She gets to Vanessa's. She's wearing shorts with her ass exposed and gets into a cami, as some women

call it. A tank top. A little spaghetti string. Oh, God, no. Oh, God, no. Oh, it's bad. I'm getting real worked up. I'm getting hot even thinking about it. If she does that, we already have a plan of action. I want you to hear it. We've been talking about this for some years. We've been talking about of action i want you to hear it we've been talking

about this for some years we've been talking about this for years before you were pregnant p is gonna go and be the beverly hills undercover cop for us oh yes he is i don't care if you're looking at me and saying no he's doing it i'm being forever 21 hiding behind the shoes i'm he said he's gonna go and scout on one of her first mall trips. Two things. If she did, in fact, change clothes into something way more revealing, that's just a conversation. Because I know her mind.

I was a teenager. You were a teenager. She's not going to get necessarily doghouse in trouble, but we're going to have a conversation. Now, if she's doing shit that would disgrace our name. You see her smoking cigarettes in the back of a mall? If my girl is tonguing Eduardo and smoking a cig in the hallway of Auntie Anne's and Dick's Sporting Goods. Uncle P's going to have a forearm in her collarbone.

Yeah. And be like, I know your parents. Uncle P has full permission to slap Eduardo, first off. Steal daughter. Literally handcuff her. I'm just kidding. Take her back to the house, and we're having a talk. Do you agree or do you not?

Yes, because she can't walk around the mall with a boy. Oh, she can. She can walk around the mall with a boy. If she's walking around the mall with a boy. If I see her, if I see him touch her in an inappropriate way, I'm going to. Yeah. All right.

Comedy podcast. Comedy podcast. Okay, now go. Take me through it. You go. You're scouting around the mall. You see stuff you don't like, how do you go about it? Go. I bet. Hey!

Okay. Was she a dog? Hey! Come here! I'm gonna treat you, I'm gonna treat you. Can I have a bell? No, I'm gonna be like... Take me through the whole thing though. You're creeping. What's your yardage? I'm gonna have you on the phone. What's your yardage? How far back are we talking? You're like six cars back? Are are you like right you right up in no no i'm too big i'm too big and probably

people are gonna come take pictures so i have to be kind of hidden i gotta be i gotta be almost to where i can't see her you have to dress like the old seminal days 3xl black hoodie drew oh my god you almost look like a covid mask like a ring wraith out of lord of the rings god bless you okay and so i'm gonna be hidden i'll be like this i I'm going to be even more hunched at that point. I'm almost at a 90-degree angle. So my chin's going to be in my chest at that point. You're a walking L. Yeah.

Okay. So I'm going to be looking, and I'm just going to be like, okay, she has the same clothes on. That's fine. That's fine. It's all good. That's good. She's such a good daughter. Such a good daughter.

But then I see a boy. I don't know that boy. Cam's never told me about that boy. What does he look like? Doesn't matter. I just want to know for the picture. You can tell he's a little rock and roll rug and tug. Does he have any piercing on his face outside of his ear?

Yes. He's got a little nose. He's got double nose piercings. He's a pretty boy. He's 16 with a full arm sleeve. Oh, if he's 16 with an arm sleeve and a little bull ring, there I know is Johnson's piercing. I know he's trying to get it looked at.

Get her out of there. Save her. What's their to get it looked at. Get her out of there. Save her. What's their first store? Spencer's? Get her out of there. Save your niece. Save her. He has his nipple pierced, too, guaranteed.

Honestly. Would you get your nipples pierced? Never in a million years. Didn't we know a guy that had their nipples pierced? Oh, no. He was in Austin. I knew him okay i said i don't he back cut that out but it's true he did saved your niece okay so yeah jokes jokes jokes these are just jokes i and i see that rug and tug boy full arm sleeve bullring tattoos smells like musk like

a good musk like you could tell you it's like a leather cologne. Like animalistic. I'd be like, you are trouble. It's like bourbon and cedarwood, but the cologne's not a good one, so it doesn't last and it's like mixing with his body odor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn. His hair, properly gelled. Properly gelled hair. Is it Gorilla Glue?

Gorilla Snot? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But it's not Miss Jessie's. It's not Miss Jessie's. Does he purchase it at Walmart? No, no.

He gets that straight from his barber. Straight from his hairstylist. Good quality, hopefully. Good quality. No, you can tell he cares. He has a toothpick in his mouth. Does the skateboard. 100%.

You can tell he knows how to do an ollie. You know what I mean? Supers on the feet? Oh, no. He has vans with a design on them. Oh, God. He is him. Okay.

Chain belt. This kid's good I'm gonna go up And then I see him I'd be like I don't know him I'd go Kim do you know this guy? Do you know this guy That looks like Uncle Jesse from

Pool House Like do you know this guy? Tony Hawk You say no I say Eagle has landed I'll be right back I go five minutes

Five minutes recoup i follow them through the mall okay they go to the food court okay all right they sit down no no they're ordering food oh god he orders first whoa whoa let my daughter go first right there he orders his food one big slurpee big hot dog he goes and sits down she's a free was there a gas station in the mall slurpee and a hot oh. He goes, sits down, leaves your daughter to order by herself. Oh, God, no. No shot. She's rummaging through her purse.

She has no money. She's a kid. Rummaging through her purse. You make sure she has money. But she spent it already. On what? Gas. So she's looking through her purse.

She's panicked. She's panicked. She's hungry now. She's not able to go get her food. She's hungry. I already hate this guy. My niece is hungry. Feed my niece.

He is eating the hot dog and the Slurpee. I go up to him. I take that hot dog, shove it down his throat, pour the icy on him, and take your niece back home. Real ass uncle right there, ladies and gentlemen. You know what I mean? Give it up for Uncle Pete. What a savage uncle.

Yes or no, did the kid like the hot dog going down she can hate me forever no she would not hate you she can hate me for her teenage years i know these boys i know how boys and honest to god the fact that he did it away from her that's like plus 10 000 aura for him because she didn't get physically embarrassed in the moment oh i would I would never embarrass her. Yeah. That's not true. I'm definitely going to embarrass your kids. Do you hold your breath when you poop? If I'm pushing. So yeah,

pretty much every time. Like a, that's it. That's what it sounds like. How long do you push? Until I reach success. If you had to gauge it. This might be a little graphic,

but I have a good suck in suck out method you ever you know you mean i gotta like i'm like but it's too long and i'm starting to get lightheaded right back up we'll shoot that it's like it's you know when you go to the bank drive-thru and the thing goes right back up the little tube that's that's me that's you know what i mean i have a suction cup sphincter you have a shop back ass your shit yeah that is terrifying so you do for my for my my yeah no i'll go in and out five minutes until i it's okay you know what i'm tired of this shit i might have a hemorr shit. I might have a hemorrhoid. I might have a hemorrhoid.

If I were to bend over in front of y'all, you'd be like, is that a baboon or is that Peyton? You know what I mean? I have the same ass as a circus clown's nose. It's bubbly and red. Okay, stop. And let's be honest with the world right now. If you sat down, because your answer is going to piss me off. If you sat down on a porcelain throne, no cell phone in sight,

how long does it take you to poop? No cell phone. From start to completion. What I eat. The second your ass hits. What I eat. Was it post-gym Chipotle? Regular diet.

Regular diet? Post-gym doesn't count because your blood is going to other places. Your butthole might not expand as much. Is that a fact? I don't know. Okay. Sounds good. I would say no phone. I'm six minutes.

Six, seven minutes. So am I disgusting for the fact that I can sit down, probably complete my entire poop. You don't wipe, so it takes my ass yeah multiple times till completion flush stand up and start to wash my hands in under 120 seconds your butthole is like a canal you have a hoover damn asshole like your shit you could import and export immigrants through your butthole. How wide open you are. You know what I mean? You could ship... Pablo Escobar would use you as a mule. How wide open you are, if that's a fact.

I can't remove immigrants with my asshole? Yeah. Is that really nasty, though? Like, if I don't remove immigrants with my asshole? Yeah. Is that really nasty, though? Like, if I don't have a phone. But I think another thing is I wait until I'm almost about to shit on myself. If you were to bend over in front of me and I would speak, if I would speak into your butthole, there would be an echo. Okay, but. That's how wide open you are. I'd be like, hello, hello, hello.

That's how. Are you okay? Okay, okay. We could use you as a megaphone or a live show. I just go, I'm like. They would be like. Are you okay? Okay. We could use you as a megaphone or a live show. I just go, I'm like. They would be like. And you're speaking into this way and it goes.

You're like, you should know. They'd be like, we don't have any. We forgot the second mic at this stage. We forgot the second mic. It's all right. Cam will bend over. It's all right. Bend over. We're right here.

Don't speak into him. Is that bad though? Cam, I'm telling you, you have issues. No, I don't. How'd you get there? Bro, but that's the second mic. It's all right. Cam will bend over. It's all right. Bend over. We're right here. I'm speaking to him. Is that bad, though? Cam, I'm telling you, you have issues. No, I don't. How did you get there? Bro, but that's the thing, though. I'm borderline hedgehogging before I sit down. Because I don't like...

Bathrooms aren't hot to me. I don't like a bathroom. It's not a sexual experience. It's not at all. Well, it could be. It could be. Depends on the height of the counter. Good morning. Good morning. I have a seed that's gonna watch this anyway uh that's why you're here that's hello good morning to you

i don't like the second i sit down god's honest truth yes god's honest truth nothing for the podcast nothing any yeah no comedy purposes. This is fact. Okay. Eight out of ten of my poops could be done under 90 seconds. Cam. Bro, but it's not a weird thing. I'm not going, like, I'm not stressing. I literally sit down, and the second I sit, I guess I open, and it goes, and it's gone.

I could use. And I'm like. That's not good, Cam. I go... I could use your ass as a sneaker closet. You have a six-car garage ass. Like, that is... You could park three Hummers in there. I could park a Ford Raptor. We could get an ass.

I could make a home gym. No, okay. No, that is strange. I'm six to seven minutes because... See, now, I don't believe that. I have preparations on my sphincter. There's going to be at least... You ever had an open wound and blew on it?

That's what it's like when I'm trying to poop. There's a sharp pain. It's like your thing is scabbed over and you've got to rip the scab off. Oh, my God. Oh, I am sorry if any of you are eating right now. Holy hell. Oh, man. How quick is your turnaround time from eating to poop?

Depends if I had enough liquid. Depends if I have enough oil to oil up the pipes. I looked at my dad different one time. First time I went to Vegas with him is when Vegas was still doing buffets, and that was like the main part of Vegas. I know what you're going to say. My dad would kill like three plates. He's not a huge man.

He's not. That's a lot of food. Stout guy. Stout guy. Stout guy. Strong guy. Strong guy. He would eat three plates of an all-you-can-eat buffet, right? He would be like, I'll be right back.

He would go to the bathroom. He would clear himself out with his bunghole. Three more plates. And he says, are you ready to gamble? Now, I said, how do you still have an appetite after experiencing waste coming out of you in a room full of other people's waste to go complete some more spring ed girls?

How does that happen? Are you that kind of guy? I have done that in a Chinese buffet and a local Applebee's. I think that's white people stuff. I stopped eating to shit to return to food. That's disgusting to me. And I did it with a smile on my face. I said, I'm about at 85.

Went. I said, now I'm at about 40. Let me go back and devour. So those chips and quesos taste even better when you got more room to fill. You know that's nasty. I wash my hands with soap. God bless you. You want to know why soap and hand sanitizers only kill 99.9% of germs?

Because if they killed 100% of them, you'd never have to buy it again. That's also not true either. Dad joke of the day. That's not true. If you killed 100% of germs? Guess what? As soon as they killed 100% of the germs, you're going to go touch something else. You're going to go get re-germed. So you go kill 100% again. 100% of germs. Guess what? As soon as they kill 100% of the germs, you're going to go touch something else or you're going to go get re-germed.

So you're going to go kill 100% again. 100% of germs. What does that mean? If 100% of humans died, does someone else just wake up the next day? It's not a life or death thing. That's a false comparison. Well, 100% of something is... All of it.

All of the area that it is touching. No, no, no. Right here. But that's the joke. That's the joke. Okay, so I'm saying it's a dumb the area that it is touching. No, no, no. Right here. But that's the joke. That's the joke. Okay, so I'm saying it's a dumb joke because it's not accurate. What are you, on the board of trustees at hand sand? Who are you?

No, do you understand that that's wrong still, though? Yes. But the joke, and the premise of the joke, is because if it killed 100% of germs, all germs die, you never buy it again. Which it was still not true, though. You would still have to go buy hand sanitizer again because you're going to go touch things with germs.

You're fun at parties, aren't you? You're fun at parties. But am I right or wrong? You love shitting on dad jokes. Am I right or wrong? You're right. Thank you. That's all I wanted to hear you say.

Put it on my tombstone. But a question. You know what I'm going to put on my tombstone? What? Cayman's second place MVP voting to Duke Dennis. That's going to put on my tombstone? What? Cayman's second place MVP voting to Duke Dennis. That's going to be on my tombstone. Okay, but I have a question though, and you're going to make fun of me

and I feel like a large percent of the internet is going to make fun of me. Get ready, y'all. We've been on tour, right? We've been driving around everywhere, flying around everywhere. I've been looking at streets. Right? We're driving down a lot of Martin Luther King ads A lot of Martin Luther King

There's a lot of Cesar Chavez elementaries There's a lot of them man And I just There's a lot of Cesar Chavez elementaries. There's a lot of them, man. And I just, there's a lot. There really is. And I love it. Do you? I had friends that went to a Cesar Chavez elementary.

You know the, but Cam, every time we pass by MLK, you're like, let's get off this street. You're like, I don't feel safe. I don't feel safe. I said, I feel right at home on this street. I said, these are my people. I have a letter to my sister. You're like, why have they been standing outside for so long? I'm like, are you not on the clock, brother?

Oh, man. Yeah, that's bad. But I have a question. Genuine question. Okay. We've been driving around a lot of places, and I've been reading street signs. And I have a question. Why are there different names for different streets?

Not like Oak Street or like Lebanon Avenue. Not that. But like what is the difference? Why are some streets called street? Why are some streets called lane, avenue, road, trail? Why is that? That is a hell of a question. God bless.

And I have no clue. Okay, let's try to figure it out together. Okay. Because every road, like I would think if you're naming a road and the last word of it is trail, I should be experiencing some gravel here. I should see a sidewalk with some cool trees somewhere near my house. You know what I mean? I should see some body of water around.

But what is a lane and what is an avenue? Yeah, and what is a drive? Driving is what I do, not where I stay. If I were to have an answer, I would say drive is around a residential neighborhood. I feel like drive is, we're going to go park a car soon at a house. Why, but is that not also just a road?

Let me break it down to you. Lane. What is a lane? Lane. I peel off the tollway and I just park and I'm there? Avenue is, I think there's cities around. We're going down this avenue. There's a tall commercial building

that's an avenue. I can get behind that. A lane, there's a lot of white people around. If you're going down a street that says lane, you're gonna see four to five Caucasians every 30 seconds. I wanna say something so bad. Don't.

Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. The intrusive thought is there. I know what you're going to say. No, but I couldn't fully cultivate it or curate it in my mind. What the hell? What? Where?

What's the ending of? Street. This is a street. It's street? Yeah. See, now what sense does that make? Because you just said. What's the ending of... Street. This is a street. It's a street? Yeah. See, now what sense does that make? Because you just said. You said Avenue feels big building, city, but we're on a street. I don't understand it.

We need to find that out. Yeah, why do... I think... Honestly, I used to want my name on a street, and I felt like that would be the highest honor. Because I grew up... The highest honor? Yeah. That's the highest honor because i grew up the highest honor yeah that's the highest piece of valor you could get in your life is to have a payton harden street yeah i want to be like i don't know i want payton harden court payton harden court yeah maybe not payton harden elementary no no not like a court house payton

no no payton hardenen Recess Center. Peyton Harden, the highest honor is to have a street named after you? Yeah, because I'm on every Google Maps. If you're a building, you're on every Google Maps. No, but you have to. And you actually provide a service, not just driving. You have to touch me. Oh, my God.

Your street would have potholes, no sewage system. There'd be weeds everywhere, no sidewalk. It'd be bad. You can't just name it after me if you pay for it? No, no. They would just name it after me. What? My wife.

That was a crazy question. My wife just said, do you have to keep up with the street if it gets named after you? Yeah. That was a crazy question. Are you shitting me, Liv? You think Steve Harvey's out? You think MLK was out there cleaning up the street? Yeah.

You think MLK is going to Pennsylvania to to Detroit, down to L.A., back to Texas? Get this trash off her. Remembrance. Legacy. Yeah, like a. But I want my old street in Pflugerville to be named Payne Harden Court. I feel like I could get it done. We're going to find this out.

Away. Away. Exactly. I feel like away way it's connecting three streets to each other you know what i don't get about roads and i want them to all be demolished or keep it in germany that that that that clockwise it's so confusing no you don't know how to do those the other day i actually said that out loud the other day i said that out loud because uh he was following us where are we going? It doesn't even matter.

We were going, and I went in the roundabout, and I just went, smoothed in, went out, and I turned around and looked, and I literally saw you. You were like, you're like looking left, right. You took like half a foot. You stopped the car hard. You're like, I was like, bro. It's because there's too much going on, and that wasn't in the driving test. Those didn't exist when I was 16.

Oh, my God. Okay, we have our answer. Let's go. Okay, ready? Yep have our answer let's go okay ready yep actually let's make a quiz out of this okay i'm gonna say each of them you're gonna guess the actual significance and i'm gonna say it's it's not just oh because it wants to be named this like there's actual reason okay let's go so you're gonna guess the reason i'm gonna say the actual reason excited okay a road why is why are some ending in road why are they called the roads because it was the original found was the original piece of land.

It can be anything that connects two points. The most basic naming of conventions. Anything that connects two points is a road. Oh, I thought you were talking about the street name road. No, it is. These are all these. Oh, okay. I didn't give you the Merriam-Webster of a road.

I'm saying that's why it's called a road. That seems like that would be the definition of road. I'm saying probably back then, say neighborhood, there's literally like 12 houses and they build a gas station that connects the neighborhood to the gas station. That'd probably be called a road, something like that. My understanding.

Isn't it so impressive people that built roads in cities, people that manufactured that? How do all these roads connect? Think about roads back then. Like this road. Little cobblestone. The road that we're on right now connects to like Canada. Yeah.

Dude, the Pan American Highway. Have you ever heard of it? No. Starts in Canada. Goes all the way. All the way to the bottom of South America. No, no. That's not true.

There's ocean there. No, there's not. It's connected. Holy shit. There's not an ocean between us and South America. Around it. In between it. We we're not connected we are literally connected north america and south america no they're not no it's not wait there it's that one central america that's what connects us it's literal name it's in the center what country's in central america like el salvador nicagua, Honduras, stuff like that. That's Central America. No,

no, Cam, let's think about this. No, shut up. It goes from Canada. No, listen, dude. All the way to the States. Listen. Into Mexico, into Central America. However, I don't know where Central America is. There's a 60 yard or a 60 mile, 60 mile dense, dense dense forest once you hit South America called the Duarte Pass where you have to get in specialized vehicles to get through it to get back on the Pan American Highway. Why do you know this and you just learned how to make a fist two months ago? That's so crazy to me. You know about a road that goes to Guatemala and Nicaragua. You be careful.

I like weird things. I have a lot of senseless, useless knowledge. It's kind of fun, but it's kind of like, what am I doing? Pull up a map right now. Look.

Canada, North America, and us. Well, no, that's all the same. Yeah. But like,

so us, our continent, right? Yeah. Florida's in there. Wisconsin, we're all here, right?

Yeah, sure. So that's us, and Canada's there. Antarctica's a little bit up top to the left. Yes. And then down and that's mexico that's still us correct ocean no yes sir i've looked at them at my whole life so literally then you look at it wrong you stupid see we get that we get that we get that globe over there yes get that globe and i cam i'll pay you a thousand dollars if there's not an ocean between us i'll pay you a thousand dollars right now i'm telling you will have to give me $1,000 if you put your hand out.

There's water all around it. There's oceans to the left. There's oceans to the right. The land connects. No, it does not. Put your hand out. $1,000. No.

All right, buddy. Watch this. Watch this. When C comes, Cam, I've looked at him. Liv's like, mm-hmm. All right, CJ brought the globe. Which one's us? You find it, buddy.

Which one's us? Find it. Which globe? They're all the same. That's... Oh, shit me. Oh, what do you know? No, this is an updated one.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Updated globe? No, no. That's the globe, you rat bastard. This is a 2020... Hey, up! No, no, no, no. That doesn't count.

Oh, it does. You shook? That's never been there. That's always there. That is a 2020. Hey, up! No, no, no, no. That doesn't count. Oh, it does. You shook? That's never been there. That's always there. That is Central America. That's Mexico. Bitch, does that not say Mexico on the thing? Yes.

What about all the other ones? Little names right there. It's all the same thing. It's Mexico. That's not Mexico. That's a different country and the same land. Yeah. That's possible? Just how we have different states in the same land okay we're all the same country though

what does that matter africa we don't call it central america we don't call it north america the continent of east america continent of africa is what africa is what inside of it africa okay say it one more time see if that makes makes it right. Sudan, South Africa. Sudan's in Africa? Do you, like, I need to steal your devices from you. I need to put you in front of the History Channel in a textbook for two months. I didn't get it. There's Africa as a whole, but there's a bunch of countries.

Let's do it. Okay, I honestly, you're not giving me credit for how good I am at geography. Guatemala, El Salvador, Nicaragua,a rica panama all of it okay you're not giving me enough credit for how good i am at geography so let's give me a geography quiz a geography quiz yeah what what do you what like what it's just a basic geography quiz okay geography quiz so you So you are disturbingly bad at geography. So I literally entered in most basic geography quiz. That is my actual Google search. This is almost disrespectful.

And you're still going to probably surprise a lot. Here we go. What English sentence was that? I said a lot. Here we go. Geography quiz. Trivia. Very simple.

I got it. Okay. What is the largest country in the world by area? China. Absolutely wrong. It's Russia. Russia. Russia and China is in the same continent.

That's why I got confused. Uh-huh. You're still wrong. It's country. Okay. It's Russia. So, 0 for 1. Okay.

Well, that's fine. What river is the longest in the world? Nile. You better get that. Nile. Thank you. The Nile. Because.

Yeah. Go for it. Explanation time. Because. Yep. The Nile is a river in the world. Nile. You better get that. Thank you. The Nile. Because, yeah, go for it. Explanation time. Because, denial is a river in Egypt. Your husband What? Denial is a river in Egypt. Your husband

What are you saying? Denial is a river in Egypt. Your husband. Denial. What are you saying? Yeah, denial is a river in Egypt. Your husband. It's a Nicki Minaj quote. I'm a Barb. So I'm one for two. I don't know what just happened. Which country has the most natural lakes?

Huh? Which country has the most natural lakes? America. Wrong. Canada. It's our next door neighbor. Canada's got lakes? Got a whole hell of a lot of them.

What is the... This is basic? Very basic. What is the smallest country in the entire world oh this is gonna be a trick one you're not gonna get it right smallest country it's one of the little ones okay is it south or east excuse me about north and west you creep because i know it's either so i'll give you a hint it's in europe oh uk Oh, UK. The United Kingdom. You're like a ferret on fentanyl.

You say stuff that makes no sense, makes no correlation, and it's like the second you hear something, something gets triggered and you just spit something out. I said Europe, you go, oh, UK. UK is big. UK is quite large. No, because I heard you can drive 45 minutes from one side to the other. By trolley. We're going to the tube.

You want some frish and grits? Frish and grits? The answer is Vatican City. Did the Queen get shot? What? Did the UK Queen get shot? I don't even know if I can say it. No, she didn't get shot. Oh. She's died. Are they inbred? No, I can't say that. I can say it. No, she didn't get shot. Oh. She's died. Oh. Are they inbred?

No, I can't say that. I can't. I heard that they all touch each other and stuff. Was Princess Diana in there? They got old Alabama down in the UK. They said, come to Birmingham, Essex. Well, I'm not trying to be offensive, but I'm hearing internet rumors. Let's do some research before we bring it to light, buddy.

Well, I hope she's okay. Well, she's not, but here we go. Largest desert in the world. If you don't get this right, I actually leave. Sahara. Okay, thank you. Come on now. Come on.

Which country has the longest coastline? Do you need the definition of a coastline? Yes. I don't know what the f*** is a coastline. The line? Yeah. The line of the country that touches water. Coastline.

Like how Florida has it. Correct. But now you're thinking whole country. What has the longest? Australia, because it's all across the country. Wrong. Is it just one side are we talking about? No.

It just says which country has the longest coastline. Probably the biggest country, which is Russia. Wrong. But you saw where I was going. I saw the attempt. Do you want to know the answer? On the count of three, do a quick guess. Ready? One, two, three. United States.

Asia. That's awfully wrong. That's horribly wrong. Let's go again. One, two, three. Africa. It's a continent, not a country. Here we go. One, two, three. Really? Egypt. No. Egypt. I don't know. You're rushing me. Canada. Canada has the longest coastline. Who knew Canada had all these spectacular things?

Canadians. And they got Canada. Drake. What mountain is the tallest in the world above sea level? Mount Everest. Thank you. Thank God. I thought it was Kilimanjaro.

What is the capital city of Australia? Peru. Oh. The one you're thinking is absolutely wrong, so just stop yourself. Yeah, no no no canberra whoo yep Which two continents are entirely in the southern hemisphere? So we only have below the equator there. We go. We only have seven is the equator real thing look we is that is that a physical line you can see? A physical line?

Because I remember. You think there's a wall? No, no, like a line. Oh, like a laser? Is it paint in the water? What would this line be made of? That's my question. Is it millions of buoys in a perfect little line?

Is Vegas and Phoenix on the equator? Is that why it's so hot? Because I remember it gets hotter there. Miss Winkler taught me that. And she had, the reason I think there's a line, because she used to take the globe after school tutoring session, because I want to pass the third grade. She made a line, and she said, that's the equator.

And I said, don't get it. Thanks, Wink. And she goes, it's hot. You got a couple more. Okay, here we go. Slow down, though. Answer the question. I already asked you the question.

What was the question? What two countries are entirely in the southern Continents rather Are entirely in the southern hemisphere Don't word with me South America And Africa

Those are the lowest Antarctica Wrong Yes that's one Oh Antarctica Australia Australia You can say Thanks to your lifeline Okay Give me Okay Yes, that's one. Oh, Antarctica. Australia. Australia. You can say it.

Thanks to your lifeline. Okay, two more. Okay, two more, and if I get these right... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop. If I get these two more, if I get these two right, I pass the whole quiz. Agreed. Okay.

Here we go. What is the largest island in the whole world? Are countries considered islands? Technically, right? Because an island is just a boot. I'm completely surrounded by water. Australia? Wrong.

Quiz failed. Greenland. I thought that was cold. It is. That doesn't have anything to do with being an island. Islands can be hot. Islands give hot, don't they? Islands give beach vibes, like a nice little sangria.

I was going to say sangria. Toes in the sand, a little crab pulling up, Snoop Dogg in the back. Smoking a blazing. Getting blazed. Okay, give me one more. Give me one more. Getting high as a kite. Here we go.

Here we go. That's a close word to something I can't say. Here we go. Last one. If I get this right, I win. What country is known as the land of the rising sun? Egypt. No.

That gave pyramid. What country is known as the land of the rising sun? I don't know too many countries. What country is known as the land of the rising sun? China. No. What country is known as the land of the rising sun? Germany.

Wrong. What? What country is known as the land of the rising sun? America. No. Wrong. What? What country is known as the land of the rising sun? America. Have you ever heard anyone say, I'm proud to be in the land of the rising sun? Or at least I know.

No. Okay, I know it now. Okay. Canada, because they won everything so far. They're amazing. Canadians are great. We're going to do in sync. Madame Trousseau.

What country is known as the land of the rising sun? Give me a country's name. Give me a start of the letter. Letter name. Give me the name first. No, because they'll give it away. Okay. What is a country known as the land of the rising sun? What continent's it on?

What continent's it on? You're making me panic. It's on the other side of the world. It's not here with us. Behind us or in front of us? It's not... Behind us or in front of us as if we're a doorway. Can I get the map at least?

Give me the map so I can have multiple choice. Here we go. Ow. Ready? Land of the rest. So it's not... I'll give you this. I will literally X out.

India. India. New Delhi. Does that say the N word on here? Read it. You know the N word on here? Read it. You know the N word. No. Not Nigeria.

It starts with an N and it ends in an E-R. What? No. It's called Niger or or something what country i'm gonna eliminate four continents it's not north america it's not in south america it's not in australia it's not in antarctica so it's in africa you have one more chance and i'm gonna tell you is it in it Africa or Asia? Asia. Oh, okay. Think smart. I said India. I don't know how to say some of these names. Pakistan. Japan, dog.

Ain't nobody ever called it that. Land of the Rising Sun gives very much Asian culture, beautiful things. Come on. Your second guess was China. Okay, give me it. I'm going to see if you're so much better. No. Yes. We've already done this before.

No, we haven't. Yes, we have. We've never done a geography one. Then give me the thing. Alright, here we go. I hope to God I can get some. I already asked you all the easy ones. It's going to be embarrassing. Here we go. None of those were easy. What is the capital of Egypt?

The capital of egypt the capital of egypt yeah i don't think it's alexandria cairo dude you're such a loser bro you you had no friends or fun i love this is so stupid i already told you that i love egyptian culture okay i'm gonna ask you to all right i mean to an extent, but that's like world... I have my bits and pieces that I like. Other shit I might not know. Why is this all just the capital? Did you click on different? Which canyon is considered the deepest in the world? Oh, that's not even a sentence. That literally says

the Yucca-Luca-Taxi and I got a grand canyon. The Yucca-Luca-Sermagluta-Turcan. Which river forms the border between the United States and Mexico? Oh, that's... Is that the Guadalupe? No. No. What is that? Hold on.

Rio Grande? Rio Grande? I said one... I said it too quick. When's the first time you touched grass? When you were 14? Loser. What's the deep...

What ocean is the largest and deepest on earth pacific who knows that what what is the capital of hungary you want me to tell you the capital of hungary yeah i don't know that budapest budapest okay i'm gonna ask you one more and if you get this right i punch punch you. Here we go. You ever been hit on camera? I get two more. I get two more. Two more, okay. Channel my inner geography.

What is the smallest country in the world? I literally asked you that, and it's the Vatican City. I literally asked you that question. Jesus Christ. Not only do you not know geography You have a memory of a Of a parrot Like something very small brain What mountain is the tallest in the world

Above sea level I literally asked you these Mount Everest Are you shitting me Use that fat thumb and scroll a little bit Be like right there What is the largest island in the world? You're

f***ing me. I asked you. Greenland. I asked you that. You don't even listen to me. You don't love me. Okay. What? What? What is the capital of Japan? Tokyo.

That was a give me. What is the name of the largest island in the world peyton i asked that already you're not being serious you just said that are you smelling toast are you hot like i'm thinking about that to call paramedics. Maybe 44 seconds ago. He must have asked it twice on here because I scrolled. That's why I got confused. It's not my fault.

What's the largest... Which sea is the saltiest in the world? I know this one. Is it the Dead Sea? Yeah. Okay. Hey, round of applause for Cam. All he did in his childhood was eat ham sandwiches and play Rubik's Cube.

Loser. I ate bologna foldovers and played Millsberry. While we were listening to Lil Wayne Lollipop, Cam was listening to TED Talks on his iPod. What a nerd. Are you kidding me his iPod. What a nerd. Are you kidding me? What a... What a... Hey, go.

Hey. Go touch that box. Yeah, touch that box or two. Golly. All righty. I'm useless knowledge. Hey, instead of geography, do you want to save some people's relationships

and love life? Yeah, but real quick. Real quick. Oh, my God. Because I was thinking about old stuff when I just said that. And real quick. I know I used to...

Okay. Okay, so you know when you watch an old TV show or an old movie... They all suck and the gun sounds sound horrible. Okay. When I watch it, I can't imagine looking at that in real life. Like, what it looks like in real life i don't know what you're saying so you know okay so you know i used to say i thought the world was in black and white whenever tv was in black and white unfortunately yes as an adult my thing is i can't put my eyeballs

like you know how everything is hd here in front of us like you're hd the lights are hd the couch is h everything looks so new and crisp i can't imagine going back to whenever Gunsmoke was out or M.A.S.H. or Family Matters or Full House. It looked the exact same. I can't imagine that, though. Why? I can't imagine seeing that. I don't know.

So you think people's eyes were just worse back then? Kind of. It's like the same thing as black and white. You know what I mean? Because I used to think the world was black and white whenever TVs were black and white. I think the world was like in 420p. Like, I can't imagine seeing John Wayne. He would look dope as hell, first off.

So if you sat courtside at a Bill Russell basketball game. I can't imagine that. You don't think you would look the exact same as sitting courtside now. I can't imagine seeing like Delonte West. I can't imagine seeing Delonte West hitting on LeBron's mom in 2008 at a Heats game in person. I can't imagine seeing that. You know what I mean? I don't.

That is either a, that's like a flower-induced thought. That's like a shower thought or something. No, dead ass. No, that's like why doesn't or something? No, dead ass. No, that's like, why doesn't glue stick to the bottle type shit? There's nothing to be, you've never, Holy shit, that's a good question.

You've never heard that? Sort of gotta have it. Yeah, glue makes, I talk to women, dog. I don't know your science questions, brother. In school, I was in the back of B Hall tonguing down Caitlyn, dog.

Like, that's what I was doing. I wasn't paying attention. I was being a peer tutor. Kale was a hall monitor, brother. Oh, my God. Kale was a part of the Anti-Bullying Association. I had a 4.0, and you had a 2.6, but mine came with zero social skills and no women, and you were tongue-in-Kaelin.

Man, the dichotomy of this podcast. I've never met a Kaelin. I've met a Kaelin. Clark. No. Okay, but that was a stupid question then. Yeah, I mean it's... But do you see where I'm coming from?

That's simple. that's from cameras so you can imagine watching gun smoke or mash yes or like old school jeopardy bro if you and me went in person if you and me went and bought revolvers and went to a fake little western town right now and stood at each other and did that that's exactly what it would look like back then you can imagine that though you can imagine watching a Bruce Lee movie. I can imagine Ruby being seven feet tall and talking English. It's not hard to imagine something that's real. But it doesn't make sense.

You keep saying imagine, imagine. It's easy as shit to imagine a movie 50 years ago. But in person, and it being in like 1080p 4K, like seeing that in real life with your eyes, like can you imagine that? Say it again!

There's nothing to imagine! If you were born, if you were this exact same age right now, but it was 1950s. I wouldn't. I would have different water fountains. I would.

That water would be crystal clear. Well, nah, they probably didn't have the cleanest waters. But I'm saying it'd be 4K. It's your eyeball. But that's crazy to think. Why? Like, imagine, what's the dude's name? What's the dude's name that had the silent movies? What? The guy that painted his face

and he did the silent movies and he would jump on trains. What's his name? Is that a real thing? Yes. Y'all don't f***ing know shit. Imagine Charlie Chaplin watching Charlie Chaplin act in person. That wouldn't look like... You can't imagine seeing that in real eyes. You can't imagine seeing that in HD in person.

That's so dumb. That's like saying, imagine watching Bernie Mac do a stand-up. I can't imagine seeing Bernie Mac in his cool-ass suit being like, I ain't scared of you. You can't imagine that. I ain't scared of you. Come on.

You know what I mean? Imagine seeing Steve Urkel in person on the set of Family Matters and seeing his clothes be new. That doesn't affect y'all's brain at all? No. his clothes be like new that doesn't affect y'all's brain at all no hmm do you do you know yourself yeah scary i i think that's i think it's like an identity thing you think so deep in there well somebody in the comments will agree with me someone probably will let's Let's help some people. And y'all are in that same boat. Let's help some people. Dr. P. Dr. P.

Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. All right, here we go. We found one. This week's submission, again, it's always just randomly selected. It's not like if you send it four times, we go through and randomly click it. Hey, your job is not to explain.

Your job is to read. Here we go. Dear Dr. P, hope you're doing well. Thank you. I'll go straight to the problem. I've known my bro for 12 years. Okay. And he's dating now, but he's not giving me enough attention.

We used to hang out and play video games a lot, but now he's not that active with me, and he's the only one I have. Can you please help me? Oh, man. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, listen. Yeah. Listen.

And I'm not going to lie to you. He said, if you need to call, here's my number. This looks like a routing number. There's so many numbers. I almost want to read it. I'm not going to, but. Let me see it so I can see it. I'm going to give you fake numbers, but the amount, the length. Okay, yeah.

One, 644-444-444-444. He gave you his banking account. Is this your routing number? This is insane. Oh, listen, bro. Love is a very rare and special thing. And you should be happy for your brother. Because he's happy.

You know what I mean? Speak that heart. Speak that heart. Speak that heart. Yeah, speak that heart. Yeah, it's a beast Alright go Go doctor

No Honestly You should be I don't even like video games Here we go Alright This is what you do You should be happy First of all for your brother

agreed agreed finding somebody that he really cares about agreed ecstatic i would say but as your bro you can have a conversation with them be like hey listen brother i'm super excited for you i am so happy for you that you found somebody. But at the end of the day, because everybody has an independent relationship with everybody in the world. You know what I mean? With everybody in their life. And I think it is wrong if you totally negate a previous relationship for somebody new, even if that person is bringing you a lot of happiness. So as a friend, you come up to them be like hey i i would still

i want you to be i want y'all to have y'all's time it'd be fun but like don't forget about me bro i miss you you're my brother like i want to spend time with you but then very noble thing but then dr p comes out oh god if you don't want to go the good route you go good old toxic nasty route i'd like to say turn into a gardener a gardener dr p what are you talking about you grab you go to home depot you grab a seed and you go up to your friend's girl and you plant it you plant that seed on her she's gonna be like wow this is a seed i wonder what this is for every time you go see your bro's girlfriend you're under you water that a little more water it maybe a little flirtatiousness amazing analogy by the way a little bit of

flirtatiousness then you see that little stem start to poke out of the soil and you'd be like my plant's growing that cherry tomato what is it maybe it's a limon tree yeah put some limon on it and then you keep watering it you keep watering it until your bro's girlfriend's got a nice connection with you. You go to a party one day. This house has a lot of rooms in here. You want to see that room? I heard it has a cool painting in it. You sleep with your bro's girl.

You end that relationship. Now it's just back to you. You and him. Damn. That's tough. I wouldn't back to you. You and him. Damn. That's tough. I wouldn't suggest that, but that's Dr. P. But what I would suggest is, what I suggest is you leave him alone.

He's happy finally. Finally. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P.

Sounds like CJ. Yeah, because Cam has been off the walls recently. We haven't talked to him in a long time. I don't know what it is. Joe, I know exactly what it is. Happy for you to love you to death. Yeah, I'm sorry. No, I'm saying we haven't talked to you in a while.

It was about you. It was about you. What was about me? That. The submission. We haven't talked to you in a while. You're nuts. You're nuts, you psycho grizzly beard bastard.

All right. Let's get out of here, man. Thank you so much. Coming back for another week, episode 123. Hopefully we performed. We showed up and showed out in the beautiful city of Austin this weekend. Hopefully we performed. We showed up and showed out in the beautiful city of Austin this weekend. Hopefully we did good. Take all the clips you found from the Creator League, from DreamCon.

Tag us in that. If we took a picture with you at DreamCon, let us know. Tag us in all that. Thank you so much for coming back. Confuse the casuals. Get your good karma with this week's code. God, be careful. K-I-D.

KID, but it also stands for... You're never going to guess it. Koalas and DreamCon. Koalas and DreamCon. Koalas and DreamCon. If you're there and you see us, don't be... I mean, hell, you're there. It's already happened. But hopefully you popped out.

You said what's up. And then hopefully we can represent the Koalas in the beautiful game with hundreds of thousands of people watching, and we do good. So confuse the casuals. Leave it everywhere. Leave it here. Leave it Instagram.

Leave it Facebook. Everything. Don't forget to follow us on all the platforms. Go get all the goodies everywhere. Facebook, Twitch, Discord, Patreon. They're all linked below. We absolutely love you. Can't wait to see you next week.

And remember, one out of ten clawbears don't make it home to Christmas and we will see you next time. Yeah. No, CJ, just do what he said. Just take the advice.