You Should Know Podcast - YOU DID WHAT TO THE MEAT? -You Should Know Podcast-

Episode Date: May 27, 2024

TOUR TICKETS: https://linktr.ee/youshouldknowpodcast?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&ltsid=cf28649f-95a7-4878-8701-fc4ea9c2f071 NEW MERCH: https://youshould-know.shop/password PATREON: Patreon.com/YouShouldknowPodcast FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/people/You-Should-Know-Podcast/61552092953106/ NEW TWITCH CHANNEL: https://m.twitch.tv/peytonhardin/home Peyton’s Polaroids: https://instagram.com/peytonpolaroids?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== TRUE VAULT ESCAPADES: https://youtube.com/@AtomicWolf54 0:00 TOUR TICKETS 1:38 CAM JOINS 4:10 NY Portal & Red Carpet is INSANE 8:03 The “ GREAT” Britain Debate 10:42 FÜM 12:08 Revealing Our Insecurities 14:15 Cam & Peyton Fight Zombies 19:23 HIMS 20:31 Peyton’s InGrown Secret 22:02 The Fitted Sheet Debate 23:45 Insensitive School Holidays! 26:51 Chased By Ted B*ndy Vs. Cops! 32:11 PDS DEBT 33:39 Peyton has a STALKER?! 37:30 WILDEST Kahoot Names! 40:34 Kids Dont take Safety Drills Serious 43:45 SPELLING BEE 57:12 The Lunchables Debate! 1:05:23 DR.P (Dating My Friends Fiancé) 1:10:03 ANNOUNCEMENTS Todays Sponsors: FUM: https://tryfum.com HIMS: https://www.hims.com/consult-start-qn-mbg-dlp-holiday?utm_source=QCode&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=hims&utm_content=YSK&utm_product=zeus&utm_term=rsu PDS DEBT: https://pdsdebt.com/free-debt-assessment/?ref=ysk YouShouldKnow P.O. BOX 191564 2825 Oak Lawn Ave Dallas, Texas 75219 FOLLOW PEYTON: https://instagram.com/psh8?igshid=ZDg1NjBiNjg= JOIN THE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/V5WYhSte2R Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Episode 114. Round of applause right now, please. I like it. I like it a lot. I like it a lot. You know why there's so much energy in You Should Know Studios right now? There's so much energy in the studio right now because we are four days away from our first show, the summer tour in Boulder, Colorado. Tickets are available.

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We, I like it. You have an abundance of energy this morning. And I love it. God bless you. We're wearing the same sneaker. I just realized it. Oh, my God. We're twinning on the feet.

And you know the crazy part is you didn't walk into the studio with that sneaker on. That's just a new sneak. I don't think you walked in with those. You did. It's the only sneak I have. No, that's a lie. I see another pair over there. You're lying.

You're already lying. But I did walk in with these. I did walk in with these. Why are you so excited today? I'm just hyped, man. We're back. The tour starts in four days. That's four days.

Boulder, Colorado. That is three sleeps, and on the fourth we'll be there. Four days. That's how math works. You know, I am excited about Boulder, Colorado. I is three sleeps and on the fourth we'll be there. Four days. That's how math works. You know, I am excited about Boulder, Colorado. I am excited to go, but the last time I was in Colorado... The last time I was in Colorado... Oh, you're possessed. It was the worst.

Literally, I had to get trailered by a strange woman two hours across the mountains as she cussed out various cars around me. And she was an hour and a half late. And still made it on your flight. No power in the bunker. We weren't in a bunker. We were in a cabin. They're called cabins, my friend.

No power. Massive headaches. One of our friends had a nosebleed from the altitude. You had to park, I don't know, 45 feet away from the door and then take this trek up to the damn door. Oh, no. I remember whenever I first laid it, I got stuck in the snow by a by a singer you got stuck in the snow by a songwriter artist i had to cut me and neeksha came to your rescue that shit i don't know what you just said what word was that who is that what you call him behind closed doors?

His name is Neeksha. You know him. Wait a minute. You know him. CJ, you might have to edit that one. He was fantastic. But we had to come to your rescue. We ended up getting the singer out of the snow with a shovel.

Oh, my God. Can we just touch on that real quick? I think we already did when it happened. Yeah. This man goes, oh, no worry. I have a shovel. He pulls out some shit you give to your toddler at the beach. He pulls out a handheld plastic Dollar Tree shovel,

and he's like, shh, shh, shh. While there's like two feet of snow. Oh, my God. We're in a mountain of snow. And he's like, shh, shh. I was like, all right, bro. I was going to ask you something. Ask it now.

But I forgot. But it was a really good question. What was that? Stigmatism. It is hot. It's quite hot. Oh, was a really good question. What was that? Stigmatism. It's quite hot. Oh, have you seen what's happening in New York? There's a lot happening in New York. The portal.

The portal. Oh, my God. You're so... I thought you were talking about the crime. Well, technically, yeah, there was a crime. Are we turning to CNN? No, we're not seeing it. The portal.

The girl flashed her tits to Ireland. Mute that one. She flashed her goodie bags to Ireland. So if you don't know, there's a portal in New York. It's like a live camera. It's this big circle, and it live feeds straight to Dublin, and they can see back and forth. What did I say that's so funny?

Just immediately thought, if you were in front of the portal. Like these poor Irish folks, they're just looking at you, you're just like. I'm like, just sitting there, you're just like, hey, what's up, man? You hit your pose? Oh, that'd be funny. I don't do that. I did walk a red carpet. Yeah, and I have a photographic evidence of you doing this.

I have that in my phone right now you know the worst part about that red carpet at the acmas i went back on getty images website right where i got the red carpet pictures there's videos of me walking no there's they recorded me doing the pictures and it is so i'm literally like hey you look you did good though because i already don't know i already struck i don't but i'm saying i think you did good from because i already don't know i already struck i don't but i'm saying i think you did good from what i saw because i already struggle with like every time i take a pic p you know p is a good hype man i feel like we don't give you enough credit on being a most things well yeah that's okay but he's a great hype man if i look good right he's like damn boy you

looking good i might take you home but uh but he's like i will kiss you in the mouth he's like let me get a picture you look good and i always go like this i'm just like you literally do the same thing you would think i don't know what to do it's like how do these people have poses out of nowhere it's a it's a confidence thing and i don't i don't i don't possess that in pictures so i'm a i'm a small man no you're large girthy too. You could use that thing as a kangaroo tail and stand up. Okay. You know what I mean? Good morning to you.

If I could stand on my Johnson and just be like, I'm like, hello. I give you four limbs and I'm just floating in the air and standing. I've seen you get stopped at TSA because of that unit you're carrying. Okay. They think that's a bazooka. This is enough. They think that's a weapon of mass destruction. No kid left behind.

RPG-7, you know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? I took a couple. You could take a helicopter out with that one. I took a couple things down. I'm so sorry. It just had to leave. It had to come out.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. The portal. Back to the portal. The portal. So there's a portal going from New York to Dublin. Yes. Right? It's kind of sick. And there's a portal going from New York to Dublin. Yes. Right?

It's kind of sick. And so it was cool. But, you know, people, it was made so the world can come in peace. You get two different worlds. You see two different worlds at the same time, live. It's like, hey, what's up? Somebody from Dublin showed one of our worst American terrorist attacks on their phone. Immediately, bro.

Immediately. Like, the first. Immediately, bro. Immediately. Like, the first day it was out, bro just pulls up 9-11 and goes, I'm like, That's sick. But it kind of makes me sleep better at night knowing that we're not the only people. It happened?

No. Don't put that on my coat. Do not put that on my jacket. It makes me sleep better at night knowing that us Americans are not the only just like rude, insensitive people. Because a lot of people think i mean i definitely think life is nicer the further you go out i don't know we live in the south we're pretty nice you go to like dmv or like a trip to la or something you got some rude people certain demographics you're pointing out

no i'm not i just no i'm not high population no i went to two different coasts. You're like, but North Dakota is great. North Dakota is a hell of a place. They're so nice. Nebraska, hell of a people. I mean, you can't find better hospitality than Idaho. No, I'm just kidding.

But I brought that up because I hate the – I didn't know – I don't know where Britain is. But I put all – Whoa. What? I don't know where Britain is. But I put all... Whoa. What? I don't know where Britain is. First off, great Britain. Respect it.

I didn't know there was a subpar Britain. There's Britain and there's the great part. There's great... And first off, no one says great Britain. That's why I just said Britain. No one says Britain. What did they say? England. London. I'm from... No one in the history has ever said I just said Britain. No one says Britain. What did they say? England.

London. No one in the history has ever said, I'm from Britain. In the history, yeah. Someone's uttered it. You're like the fourth guy. If you go, where are you from? They don't go, Great Britain. What do they say?

England. Where? Essex. Where? Suffix. They say all the... So no one just claims Britain. No one's like, I'm from Britain.

I'm from the big B. No, they'd be like, they say the UK. I doubt that's true. All the UK fans, they say Britain. Somebody says Britain. You, you're the only guy. Poor Ososu, you're the only guy that utters Britain. Since when are you the Britain police?

Since when do you know the Britain? You know everything about Britain. That's your people. I knew that. No, I'm just kidding. But I knew the capital of India. I know things about the world. I know things about Britain. That's your people. I knew that. No, I'm just kidding. But I knew the capital of India. I know things about the world. I know things about the world.

You do. You don't. But you know what I don't like the people from Britain do? What? It really pisses me off. Beans. No, when they say the tube. Oh, about YouTube.

They go to the tube. We took the tube. Whoa, wait, wait. Like the tube. You're the tube. Whoa, wait, wait. Like the tube. You're not talking about YouTube. No. But if they were to say YouTube, they're like, YouTube. Yeah, anything with tube.

Like, you know how they say, like, the train? They're like, the tube. The thing that kills me the most is when they throw R's on the end of things, the end in A. I hate when you do that, too. I don't say that. No, no, no. You can't do that. No, no.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Never been said. Put your hand up right now and swear a secret. I don't know what you do behind closed doors. You know. Oh, I have a theory. Oh, I have a theory.

Oh, don't. It's about all y'all. I do not partake at all. Oh, if you're alone in a Honda. I can see him. I can see him. I know he. Oh, if you're alone in a Honda. I can see him. I can see him. I know he doesn't. If you're alone.

I know he doesn't. He gets it all. He gets cut off in traffic. He loves it. Oh, my God. Don't cut him off in traffic. Oh, my God. Don't at all.

No. I'm never alone in a Civic just playing the, I wonder if I never. No, I feel like if y'all are alone. No. at all no i i'm never alone in a civic just playing the i wonder if i never know i i feel like no if y'all are alone no and there's the new gun album came off you're like this bar is hard you're like this episode is brought to you by Fume. Fume is a flavored air device that helps you quit your bad habit. Have you heard that the flavored air category

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Because why you... That's like some me shit. That lisp. Tube. Oh, we took the tube. You were just sitting there on your lazy arse when they say that. Thank you, Pierce, for that. You might have to hit the speed down. It's on one. It's on one. Okay, never mind.

So we turned the fan on. I hate the way Brits say tube. That's all I wanted to say. Like down. No, it's on one. It's on one. Okay, never mind. Oh, yeah. So we turn the fan on. Yeah. I hate the way Brits say tube. That's all I wanted to say. Like, why do you call it that? And I hate, this might be a little partial, and I'm not trying to be partial. Okay. But the way, like, certain slang from different places.

It's nasty. It's just nasty. It is nasty. Like, tube, tube. What do they say? What do they call school? Oh, I don't know. University or something. We went to university. What else did they say What do they call school I don't know University or something

Yeah We went to university You guys to university What else do they say They say Anything that ends in an A Sometimes it comes out With an R on it

That's also like Australia though We went to get petrol Oh petrol You and Ty the bitch You and Ty Get gas mother Petrol Yeah that's

That definitely sounds like You're trying to make us Feel less than Yeah Saying petrol But we are dumb That's one thing We are not Americans as a whole We're uneducated That definitely sounds like you're trying to make us feel less than. Yeah. Saying petulant. But we are dumb. That's one thing.

We are not. Americans as a whole. We're uneducated. I am fine. How much do you love yourself? Probably like a 6 out of 10. I have a lot of insecurities that I keep behind closed doors. I have a lot, man. I struggle.

What? Tell you? No. No, no, no, lot, man. I struggle. I'll tell you. No. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, that shouldn't be an insecurity. No, I mean, I don't know. I like myself. No, this shit's massive, but it shouldn't be an insecurity.

But I always immediately go, well, I know someone directly, directly in my inner circle that's better than me at everything. I'm not better than you at everything. All right. I'm not better than you at Apex Legends. I'm not better than you at everything. Alright. I'm not better than you at Apex Legends. I'm not better than you at Clash of Clans. You're better at patronizing,

apparently. You just named two games. I'm not better than you at math. What does that give me? What does that give me? That's my point. That's my point.

Exactly. You're naming shit. That's what I'm saying. I have useless knowledge. I'm a loser, bro. I suck. It's alright, though. I was waiting for someone to pick me fishing i'm fishing over here for compliments um i was i've been watching a

lot of movies recently and i've been in you've watched so many i'd have nobody to talk to you have a wife i do you have a wife i love her i have cj but but But I've been watching a lot of movies recently. Okay. And so one of the movies I was watching, Zombie Apocalypse, I love those dystopian, weird movies. I love shit like that. The movie's called Zombie Apocalypse?

No, I don't remember what it's called, and they didn't pay to get an ad on here, so I don't know the name of it. I thought you said, I watched a movie called Zombie Apocalypse. No, is that a movie name? I was going to say, that's a Tubi movie, probably.

Yeah, Tubi. But Tubi. But I've been watching zombie movies a lot. Good. And one of the movies I was watching, it was two friends, right? Mm-hmm. Hey. Like us, right?

And one of the friends got bit by a zombie. Kill me. He started to go... And turn into a zombie. So his friend, with a tear in his eye, capped his friend. Mm-hmm. As he should. But then I thought, me and you are together, right?

We're in New York. Oh my god. Zombie apocalypse starts happening. I'm going to stomp your ass out. See, that's bullshit. Bro, if you get bit, run. Run from you. Run from me.

Don't end me. You've already been in. You're in. You're done. You're diseased. You're not even yourself. But you see the difference between you and me? You you as a zombie you're gonna be like i wonder where the cps like no you're gonna be like like you're peyton as we know him's gone so you would you you

could in your soul you in the head with every bit of me i would literally put the gun i don't know if i can say and i'm sorry but sorry. But that's how certain I am. And that's the difference between me and you. And then I'd stomp your head to pulp to make sure you were gone. It would harm me. It would hurt me. I probably wouldn't sleep. But I'm not going to.

You would want that. No, I wouldn't. I'm not telling you what I would do. If it was you, you got bit by a zombie. It's just me and you in this world. We're alone. We don't know where these little rats are behind the camera. We don't know where they're at. It's just me and you. And we. We're alone. We don't know where these little rats are behind the camera. We don't know where they're at.

It's just me and you. We're surviving. We've been eating bread. We've been eating cockroaches. We've been trying to find... I don't like eggs. We've been trying to find life support. Everything.

We've been doing everything. We've been in this, John, for two months. The world is done. Oh, shit. Yeah, the world is done as we know it. We've been kissing and we get good feelings. You know what I mean? We get blood flow in the bunker.

It's us two in the bunker. What are we supposed to do? You go to a corner. I'll stay in mine. Oh, come on. You want to at least cheer me on? You go to a corner with a fantastic imagination and you do whatever you got to do. No, I'm like this.

You're in the corner. I'm like. That'd be some sick. Okay, but I'm saying. I'm just like. I'm like, thanks, kid. I'm out of here. That sick shit. Okay, but I'm saying... I'm just like... I'm like, thanks, game. I'm out of here. That's sick.

Okay. I'm saying, if you got bit... We've been at this thing for two months. That's a long time. We're all we have. That's a long time. I'd probably quarantine you first. No.

You get bit, I'm like, take me with you. Bite me. I would allow you to bite me. We're going to be zombie bros. Why would you not just... Mute it. Why would you not just end me and then end you? You want to go to a mutilated flesh eating...

Because we would both be alive. As zombies. You're not alive. You don't think about what color shirt you're wearing. You don't remember your parents. You are dead. Your brain is mush. All you want to do is eat flesh.

It is a disease. It is a disease. It is an apocalypse. We'd be the flesh bros. You wouldn't even know I exist. You don't keep your best friends. Zombies don't have friends? Zombies have friends. You think they're playing hopscotch in the middle of feeding?

All they do, they don't sleep. They don't rest. They're the undead. They're literally just like this. Yeah, but we could be like the Thriller. We could be like Thriller, Michael Jackson. We'd have cool two-steps together. See see that's the bullshit with you and you're unloyal if you got bit in your arm the first thing i do machete cut the limb off that's gonna hurt

you're gonna have a hard time with only one hand but if that can save you have you ever seen world war z yes saying she got bit he said yeah okay first off you also said you got bit and you immediately turned if you got bit and you're turned. If you got bit and you're immediately going, I hear your bones. Nah, you're done. You're out of there. See, that's so rude. No, it's not. That's a friend.

As a friend, as somebody you claim to love. So you, okay, let's reverse it again. You'd want me to bite you. I want you to bite me just now. Like, yeah, then. You would want me to turn you to a zombie. I would literally get booty butt and I'd jump towards you and be like, have me. And then you could just, you can gnaw on my ribs.

You'd say, have me, you're already a zombie? You'd say, yeah. No, that's disgusting. Well, that hurts my feelings. Matter of fact, what if I did, oh my God. Your whole ideology is flawed. Why? If you're still human, I am now undead.

It's not a, I i turned him we're not vampires i'm going to skin you alive and eat every intestine you own then how are there more zombies if that's the case because they don't they don't there would just be one power zombie no that's the people like he's growing he's getting what you're saying he's just eating everybody no a zombie it's gonna bite if you get bit you turn right yes's just eating everybody. No, a zombie is going to bite. If you get bit, you turn, right? Yes. But I'm saying, you still being a regular human, I'm going to bite and eat and eat.

And then however long it takes you to turn, that's when I stop. Hungry, hungry hippo ass. Just bite me and let me go so we can be zombie bros. You're such a... This episode is brought to you by our friends at HIMSS. Your sex life is important, but your schedule is busy. You don't have the time to go to a doctor's office to get treated for your erectile dysfunction through HIMSS. Now you can get treated for ED without stepping foot outside the door.

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Restrictions apply. See website for details and important safety information. Subscription required. Prices vary based on product and subscription plan. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. All right, you know what? You're talking about this zombie dystopian world and shit. I got a real life thing. Okay. I have a would you rather for you. Okay. Because I think you're going to pick. I just can't wait to hear it. Okay. I can't wait to see you shower Excuse me? Excuse me?

Have you ever showered with the suds with the marbles on them? Like the exfoliator? Liv knows what I'm talking about The exfoliating beads What the She didn't even blink Exfoliating beads They're not marbles

Marbles are that big. They feel good under. Try it when you go home. Helps ingrowns. And I got a lot under there in the tight region. It's like a barbed wire fence. Your crotch is probably cursed.

You want to see? No, it is probably a sight. Like I'm talking if... Shoot bubble gum. If... No! Your ball sack's probably disgusting. No, it was... I was wearing under the skims underwear they sent the other day, and I could not see it through the underwear. Like, it was like...

Like, it was bad. Oh, my God. You... Imagine the poor... Never mind. Never mind. No, no, no. We're just like, what the f***?

Just literally terrified. And We're just like, what the f***? It's literally terrifying. It's like this. You ever waft the sheets and you smell it? Here you go. See, you're wafting your bedding and you're getting crotch. That's insane work. I got something... Matter of fact, I got something to say about your bedding.

We'll get back to it, would you rather. The way you put on your sheet is... That is unacceptable. That is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. It pisses me off beyond belief. I didn't know that was a weird way until all y'all jumped on me. This man crisscrosses his fitted sheet. Instead of going bottom and bottom, he goes bottom right, top left.

And then he has to play this game with himself. He's dude it never fits it takes so long i'm like because you're doing it like an idiot no that works better doing cross cross is better than going bottom bottom you crisscross your sheets i've never heard of that i have i this is how insane that is i didn't even think a human would do that like i didn't even it didn't even process as a possibility in my brain the fact that i saw that payton you're it's just it's not it's that's a crazy thing that's crazy no there's a there's a science behind it let's hear it because you go corner to corner you got it leaves more room for extraction it leaves more room for bending and pushing pulling and push levy system henry ford 1833. And so if you go cross-cross, then that's the hardest part.

If you go back to front or front to back, the whole shit will go with you and you got to start all over again. You're a bad Tucker. You're not a good Tucker. Never learned how to tuck. Your name was never Tucker. I knew Tucker. Mute the last name.

He was part of the gutter game. Swear to God, he took me. He's the one who took me out of the gutter. And that's when we got a drive-by with BB guns. It was a scary time. He called me the N-word in third grade. I swear to god he took me he's the one who took me under the gutter and that's when we got a drive-by with bb guns it was scary time he called me the n-word in third grade i swear to god i swear to god i swear to god i swear to god it was during the civil rights like uh history lesson i swear to god wait you too no no no no school do? Bro, my school is sick as fuck. My school did an over-the-PA system out loud voting for Obama versus whatever.

They made you cast your vote. So I was like this. I was like, I don't know the other guy. I was like, Barack? And then people were looking at me and shit. No, that is crazy how you should be. And then they came over the intercom and said, our presidential election for blank blank elementary the winner Barack Obama

Know your school is lit School is you know did we have a kickback at recess that day? People weren't, we weren't even playing. We were just like this. Oh, God! He's in the office. He won that game. There was me on the curb with brown paper bags.

We got a nine-year-old drinking 40s, but it's like, it's like. Whoa. Come on. No, I didn't mean that. No, I didn't mean Kool-Aid. I really didn't. I didn't mean Kool-Aid. I didn't mean Kool-A I didn't mean Kool-Aid. I really didn't. I didn't mean Kool-Aid. I didn't mean Kool-Aid.

I meant Kool-Aid. Your time has come, dude. I meant Kool-Aid, but I didn't mean it like that. I know. I was like, Kool-Aid James. It's because you're such a non-that guy. Exactly. And you don't think about it.

It's fine. That's what I had in my lunchbox. You're welcome for this. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for that. No, but dude, thanks. I go, no, I'm into this. Thanksgiving during our school.

Oh, shit. That was so funny. There's some pictures of me during Thanksgiving from elementary school. If those resurfaced. The way they made us dress. Dude, live school said the same thing. Dude. They said they have like a plant your flag day.

And some people, it was called the land run. They made some kids dress as the indigenous, run across the land. Other kids had to go plant their flag and colonize i was like you're shitting me dude schools used to be like bad were you shirtless no no i had like a shirtless with like a collar no but they're so they made me go to uh they made me go to michael's and get like a ton of feathers for the class it was bad elementary school making you go to michael's and buy shit i didn't even get to take the class pet home. What's a would you rather?

Oh, our class pet died in Clarissa's house. Her name was Pepper. It was a bunny. Died two weeks after they got it. Seized in the backyard. It was like, oh my God. Don't put it on his camera. Oh my God.

Bro, I don't think we ever, I think we had a class like tortoise, but it never left. Sad life. Shout to Jaws. Sad life. Shout out to Jaws. Sad life. You got to think, his lights were off from like 4 p.m. to like 7 a.m. the next day. Every day of his life. No one to feed him, no one to talk to. Oh my god.

Class pets should not be allowed. That's sad. It's like a mini zoo. Yeah. There's one zoo, one artifact. But what if a class pet was like an orangutan? Like a huge, what? Oh my. was like an orangutan? Like a human. And it just mutilates. It's just enormous.

He has a bad day. He's like, Today is a wonderful day! Apes together! He flipped that one off. He said, Oh, shit. Great movie. Great movie. Go watch it. Kingdom of Alright Planet of the Apes Great movie Great movie

Go watch it Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes Would you rather Would you rather Golly Back to the To New York crime and stuff I'm so wet

I am I am so f***ing hot Would you rather Sorry Would you Would you rather Sorry Would you rather

Be hunted By a serial killer or hunted by the police for a crime you did not commit? Oh my, Cam, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's two of my biggest fears. I always think someone's coming to my house to kill me. And my biggest fear is getting arrested for a crime I didn't do. Yes, that's what I thought. I said I'm a fiend.

No, I'm about to have a panic attack. What if you went, get away from me. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Talk me through this. Is it Jeffrey Dahmer or Ted Bundy? I don't know. You don't get to know.

No, I got to know. You don't get to know. It's the Zodiac. Is he going to eat me or is he just going to kill me? Probably both. He'll probably kill you and then taste that little thigh meat. Do I get a little pleasure? Yeah.

He's going to kill you and take that little boy tongue with him. Is he going to whine and die at me or is he just going to? He's going to tickle your toes. Is he going to whine and die? Oh, my God. He's going to strap you down. Nice. Like that.

Drug you. Don't like that. Tickle your feet. Don't like that. While you can't move to an absurd amount of tickleness. Mm-hmm. And then slit your throat. Okay.

You're a dark human. I'm telling you, Kim has another life. We life we're gonna find out about in a couple years um so it really depends on the serial and okay so how hard are the cops coming oh you definitely it's like a it's like a it's a serious chase so either he the serial killer is actively like you are his next person he's hunting you yeah or the police are hunting you. They think you at least murder. I got my answer. Okay.

You would have to be 100% a serial killer because I could retaliate back and not go to jail. With the cops, that's the whole government and judicial system behind that. I can't fight back. If they catch me, I'm toast. But you didn't do it. It doesn't matter. I have to prove that. One more caveat.

You have proof that you didn't do it. Oh. but they're trying to like hunt you to kill you because oh god but so you have what is known as a local dpd dallas police department or a bundy-esque but say he's also very masked like he has a beard like a good beard like broad shoulders kind of like he's like he's a like a linebacker I would 100% take the serial killer because if I wipe my back and I take him off

I wipe him off I'm a hero to the town they write a Netflix documentary about that but then you still go to jail because you still committed murder

yeah but okay even if I get arrested I can't last two minutes in jail have you seen my butt your butt is look at my butt I've seen your butt

they want my butt tiger stripes and I don't and I'm too sociographer, J.O. I almost said it. Tigger the tiger? And you would have hit me with the meanest. Be careful. No, I'm too sociographer, J.O., because even if I make you be like,

hey, quiet, boy. Careful. I'd be like, hey. Hey. Come over here. careful. I'd be like, hey. That would literally make me invert inside myself and be like, God, please don't. Oh my God, you're a

psycho. I'd say, come here, boy. I didn't stop that. Hey, partner. Alright here, boy. I didn't stop that. Hey, partner. Alright, John Wayne. What are you in for? I don't give a shit. Take them pants off. Oh, you're that easy?

You're an easy little broad, aren't you? Stop, stop, stop. Stop. Yeah, no, 100% serial killer. Would you pick serial killer too? I think I'd have to pick police. I think I'd have to pick police. Yeah. No, no, 100% serial killer. Would you pick serial killer too? I think I'd have to pick police. I think I'd have to pick police. Because if... If I...

No, no. Stop, stop. You want to listen? They go, you're fine. Where's your friend? We are playing with absolute fire. And this is a comedy podcast. This is comedy.

It's all jokes. But I think my... When I first thought of it, I was like, okay, I got to know what I'd say. I'm picking police because if I get caught, at least it's 50. If I get caught by the serial killer, I'm dead. Like, yeah, I can fight back. You have no grit. You have no combat.

You're just going to square up with the guy. He's a serial killer. So what? He's not a superhero? He's going to have beaver tranquilizer in his left pocket. He's going to have traps. He's got to get, he's got to hit me. It's because.

He's going to have traps in the forest. You're just going to be like, dude, I'll whoop his ass. There's going to be like a net that falls on you. He's going to have traps. He's got to get you. He's got to hit you. It's because he's going to have traps in the forest. You're just going to be like, dude, I'll whoop his ass. And there's going to be like a net that falls on you. He's going to spit in your mouth. Who's this? Crash Bandicoot? Like, who is this? Like, who am I fighting?

That's the point. It's a serial killer. You don't know what he's about. You don't know what he's about. Serial killers are just deranged. They're not mad scientists. And some of them go through a lot of effort to get their victims. See, and the reason you're doing this is because you just learned how to punch.

Until two months ago, Cam punched like this. So that's why he doesn't have any confidence fighting back. Cam would fight with his thumbs out here. You should have seen that. It was never right there. They were like, it's something with my hand, man. I can't fold it all the way down. They'd be like right on the cusp of that knuckle.

You look like a 40-year-old mom that did jazzercise in taekwondo no that was bad that actually hurt and that one random guy was like hey you're gonna break your finger and i was like oh shit i was like how do you do he's like that and i said oh nice that just doesn't feel right now yeah cam is a lick anybody out there wants to get him in color? Don't do that. We have... Never mind. Yeah, we're all right. This episode is brought to you by PDS Debt. P, getting in credit card debt is way too easy.

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It only takes 30 seconds of your time that's pdsdebt.com slash ysk pdsdebt.com slash ysk now on to the rest of the episode saw this on twitter right and i need to know if you agree with it or how you feel about it when you accidentally watch somebody's instagram story in the first like 15 seconds that they that they post it how do you feel I don't feel good I feel like I'm I feel like in their mind they see me like peeping through a window you feel like a fan like you feel like you're like not even a fan just like a creep oh like a stalker like imagine I imagine like I don't know imagine something happening in your life and within the first 15 seconds, someone's like.

Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's just through social media. I have no problem with it. Like, you just left the job interview, and someone's literally outside like this. Yeah! Yeah! Like, that's what I feel like. I guess it's some fandom.

I literally enjoy it almost. It gives me, like, a thrill to know I'm the first one. I think you might be Bundy. You might be Bundy. You're just like, oh my God, your lady whistle down or whistle blow. What is that? What is it? Whose lady?

Whose lady whistle down? From Bridgerton. I haven't seen that. A lot of sex in that show. A lot of sex. A lot of nipple. A lot of regal sex. A lot of thou art box is mine lot of thou art box is mine.

Thou art box is mine. You are now with child. No, but I don't have a problem if somebody, like, honestly, I'll swipe up. If it's the first 16 seconds, I'll leave a discussion post. I really like what you did here. Hell no. If I do, no, hell no. Because it's, no, it's not a good look.

Why? I guess that's one of my social inks that come out. I don't like that. The only problem I have on social media in that sense is if somebody leaves a poll and I accidentally vote for it, clicking through stories. And then, like, my opinion is not what I say. You could have been, like, said some wild shit and I voted. I hate the fact that you even made a poll. Yeah, and so.

That you took the time and effort to make a poll. It's like, should I kill my ex today? And I'll be like, hell yeah, girl. And I'll be yeah girl and i didn't mean that and now i'm an accessory to murder i was about to say do you think that could get traced back to you if you like uh like egg somebody on what you mean like with that yeah the exact same scenario yeah like you could get some it's an accessory yeah yeah yeah it cut conspiracy to to murder oh have you seen that thing terrifying oh oh i win i win i win years and years years i win remember what every time i get a new phone what do i do with the old one keep it exactly and all the time we just got a new phone and where are you saying give him the phone

trade it in you can get your money back trade it in i'm a man of money i don't need to oh i did that i did oh i like that so but the reason I knew, God told me, God works through me. He always leaves little trinkets in me. And you know what? You know what? I was right. Because recently, this week,

there was an Apple bug. And so all the people, a lot of people, not all the people, a lot of people that bought those old iPhones from like, you know, when you traded me,

you could buy the old ones for cheaper and shit like that. The even if you delete it and wipe it the original people's pictures popped up on that phone they would have saw my hammer they would have saw my hammer you know what i mean that person that person would have that person would have needed a psych eval if they got your old phone. Oh my God. They would have thought it was a website. It would have been, oh my God.

Oh my God. Okay, let's not act like my phone is just absolutely nuts. No, no, no. People are going to make conspiracies about it now. I'm kidding. But sometimes whenever I'm naked and I'm in the mirror, I told you I'd turn myself on. I'll take a picture and just appreciate it. I swear to God, there's this one picture.

I'll show you, Kev. You already told me. I look like a baby. Stop. That one website's going to run with that one. Hey, speak. Yeah, good God. Don't talk about it.

We're not shedding zero light on that speaking of of weird sexual things oh that way out that box okay time travel with me back to to high school right you remember kahoot you remember the glorious game kahoot and you've been doing it recently on your twitch i've been doing it on twitch.com because i've been trying to get over the ptsd from doing Kahoot and I was the only red one. I was the only one that got that question wrong. It would be like, 18 people got it right,

one got it wrong and everybody would be like, who was it? And they looked at me and then my screen was red. And you're like this? Yeah. I almost bought

a screen protector for that. Shout out your teacher for letting you use the phone. That's pretty sick. What would you use? We used our Macs. Your Macs? We had MacBooks.

Oh, take that and run with it. Private school. Yes, we had MacBooks. We had MacBook Airs. I swear to God. Oh, and when those little nerd kids went and modded the system, threw Minecraft on there and Cabela's Hunter. No, no, no, no, no.

Shut your damn rich ass up. We had MacBooks. You will never beat the allegations. I did not go to. Cabela's Hunter. No, no, no, no. Shut your damn rich ass up. We had MacBooks. There is no... You will never beat the allegations. I did not go to... I went to a public school. I did too, but my...

The laptops they gave us, there was only one crate for the whole school and they still had the T in the middle of the keyboard as a racer or as the mouse pad. The little red button.

Yeah, the little red button. It was a ThinkPad or whatever it was called. Ours was a... Oh, yeah, MacBook. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. All right. What up, rich boy? Tell me about your prep schools. It was a ThinkPad or whatever it was called. Ours was a MacBook Air. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. All right.

What up, Rich Boy? Tell me about your prep schools. So, Kahoot. You remember Kahoot? Yeah. Who was the genius that allowed kids to pick their own name on Kahoot? And just have wretched names in the classroom. Like Hugh Janus.

Yeah. Hugh Janus. Yeah. What are some other ones uh oh my god uh it was i'm not creative enough for these it was like mike and then ox small it's like it's it just pops up and it gives you a little picture of like a little llama and shit like i tried to do it one time but i was never good at wordplay, so I just put my dick's big on the thing. I was never good. Oh, Ben Dover? That's a good one. See, that's good.

Oh, yeah, Pat McGroin. He said I wasn't good with wordplay, so I just put my dick's big. He'd be like That's Peyton Oh okay Not cause of that Cause I'm an idiot I'm just saying Imagine you're doing like

You're doing like US history or something It's like Where was Plymouth Rock And you get it wrong And it just says My dicks And then you're just like

Everyone looks Trying to figure it out You're just like You're like I don't know where Plymouth is And they're like Oh where Plymouth is. And they're like, oh. Yo.

Plymouth was a. Oh, my. My big toe locked up, and I'm super sensitive with my toes. Not even a joke. That shit hurt. Move on. Oh. So, yeah.

Kahoot sucked. That was funny as. But why did they let them pick their name? Like, does, yeah. Kahoot sucked. That was funny as f***. But why did they let them pick their name? What are some other serious things that kids just don't take serious? Nowadays? Why can't you just put Michael, Amber? Just put it. Kids always f*** up everything.

We were once them, but it's like. One thing kids don't take seriously in school is like active drills or like oh my god at all at all yeah pierce was like put your head down pierce is like there's a guy here with the He's like, you might not want out of here, but I do. He's just screaming at him. Shut your mouth all right we're gonna mute all that we're gonna keep not all that not all of it we're gonna have to review that one in the edit. Holy shit That was funny as hell bro, I'm so sweaty. I am wet. Oh my god. Oh my god, okay? Oh my god. No, but the drills, bro

People over a year ago when I was still teaching they I mean it was to the point where I even I know it's a drip Like I'm the teacher a drill like i'm the teacher right i'm the teacher what are you laughing at it's clearly a drill pierce is like man guys we should really listen to Mr. Kennedy. Okay, sorry. Here we go. Bro, I'd literally be...

So the way my class... You saw my classroom. So there was like an office built into the class. It was like the only classroom that had it. And I got lucky enough to get it. But I never used it. So that's where they would go. That's where they would go for the drills.

But they'd go in there. And and people just having rap battles and shit they're listening to like nikki minaj out i'm just like you know what i'm like if this was real y'all would be toast you know why though oh god what was that the s fell again you know why though is because they they're actually afraid and that's how they cope with it probably that too but i was saying like even like when I was a kid, I knew if something was going down, I wasn't doing any of that shit. I'm breaking that window. Oh, I knew that for sure. And I'm getting out of here.

I had an evacuation plan for everywhere I was. Oh, 100%. Especially my high school compared to my parents' house. Oh, yeah. You could just run. I could run there and be there in two, two and a half minutes. But just for legality, listen to what your teacher's saying, your principals, and do those in evacuations. I mean, in all honesty,

in all honesty, like being on the other side of it now, it is like, that's the best thing you can do because you got to think your SROs and your officers, they're going to be out. They're going to try their hardest to stop something.

Yeah, sorry. But listen to your teachers. Speaking of school, right? Oh God. We've been having this ongoing battle for the past couple of weeks on the podcast on who's smarter. No, not trivia.

Just who's smarter. Who's smarter. There's one thing we haven't touched yet. Okay. Let's do a spelling bee. Me versus you. Because I got an award in college for English and Cam is bad at English. Yeah, I'm not the best at spelling.

I'm down. You get three words, I'll get three words. Ah, shit. You go first. What does the winner get? There's always got to be a prize. A kiss every time. You kiss me, I kiss you, we kiss each other, one's more tongue, one's a little spit in the throat. Here we go. Okay. All right, I got my, do you want me to go first? You go first. All right. I'm not going to give you crazy. I feel like you're going to give me some bullshit words. I would never. Okay. First word, maneuver.

Can we do like two syllables? What are we doing? Maneuver. That's three. Well, that's maneuver. I got to close my eyes. M-A-N. That's right.

Shocker. Oh, my God. We got real life Socrates in front of us m-a-n-o yeah no shit m-a-n-e-u-v-e-r wrong close missed a couple and it's out of order how you feeling m-a-n-o maneuver m-a-A-N-O-E-U-V-R-E. Even the way you just said it, you could have said... That sounds like a maneuver. That's a super-gluvature. See, that's the shit about you.

You always ask these ones that nobody knows. You don't use the... Oh, my God. I just got so mad for no reason. Yeah, what the hell is wrong with you? You don't use the word maneuver? Yeah, but I don't want to smell it. That just scared me. You have something in you. You need to get out. That scared me. I just got so mad for no reason. Yeah. What the hell is wrong with you? You don't use the word maneuver? Yeah, but I don't want to smell it. That just scared me.

You have something in you. You need to get out. That scared me. I need to get that. Don't punch me. Okay. Okay, one down. Here you go.

One for one. Okay, thanks. Second word. Occurrence. Hey, bro. It's an occurrence. Act respectful. These are regular ass words.

There's an occurrence Thursday night. O-C-C-U-R-A-N-C-E. Wrong. Was there a P-H in there? What is going on? A current. A current. It's a tube.

Up the tune. Did I do too many C's? No. Your first three were correct. O-C-C-E-R-A-N-C-E. Occurrence. No, occurrence. Correct word.

O-C-C-U. That's what I said. That's what I said the first time. Okay, you still said it wrong. O-C-C-c-u that's what i said that's what i said the first time okay you still said it wrong o-c-c-u-r yeah r double r e-n-c-e occurrence with all these silent ass letters and shit final word here we go ready yeah questionnaire okay question q u e s t your eyes were i wanted to scare you but i was too far away so i just tried to go the scream approach i'm so sorry i'm trying to throw you off q u e s t i o n a i r e no i'm not no i'm No, I'm not. No, I'm not.

Oh, for free. No, shut up. Questionnaire. Q-U Q-U Q-U-E-S Stop laughing. Speak like a man.

What am I speaking? You sound like Caillou. You're like Q-U Q-U Q-U You sound like a cartoon. Speak like a grown-ass man.

Conjure the strength and spell it. I don't. Q, Q. You're making me panic and it's hot already and I'm having anxiety attacks. I think you just gagged. Q, Q, Q, Q, E, S, T, I-O-N-A-R-E. Q-U-E-S-T-I-O-N-N-A. I'm going to slap the dog shit out you if you do that again.

N-N-A-I-R-E. Questionnaire. Two R's and two N's? It's a questionnaire. Two R's, two N's? There's one R. Spell it again quick. Question. Q-U-E-S-T-I-O-N-N-A-I-R-E.

That makes sense. Question it. Oh, shut the hell up, Pierce. That makes sense. Oh, that makes sense. I'm Pierce. That makes sense. 0 for 3.

My turn. Oh, my God. I just need one. Hey, round of applause. Let's go. Pierce was a hall monitor, wasn't he? Yeah, no. He was definitely a part of the club that put on the hard hats and the vests.

They walked around, do you need help finding tutoring? Tutoring's this way. We're actually in the library hall this week, gentlemen. We're over here. Let's go. I should have used that joke on you. You were definitely a hall monitor.

No, I wasn't. I was in the Friends of Rachel club, though. Rachel's Challenge? Yeah, I was a leader for Friends of Rachel's. I was in the presidential advisory Rachel Club, though. Rachel's Challenge? Yeah, I was a leader for Friends of Rachel's. I was in the Presidential Advisory and the Student Body Council. Yeah, you brought teachers apples and shit and asked them about their summer, loser. They brought me apples. Here we go.

Your parents paid to get you in Gifted and Talented. I went to a public school. Gifted and Talented was a great time in my life. I did a tri-fold project that I memorized over the Oklahoma City Memorial bombing. How many friends did you have? I had about three. I had about three and they all lived on my same street. I could walk to all my friends' houses.

Cam was a kid to bring a Rubik's Cube to class and he was trying to impress everybody by solving it. I was never good at Rubik's. I had a shit ton of silly bands though. I was with the silly bands. Yeah, you had no friends in school. I brought a Dallas Cowboys football to school. And I made a bust of Saddam Hussein. Here we go. One day I got tackled.

Short of the goal line and I faked an injury. I know. I know. Can't bring roller skates to class one day. I did bring Bakugan. Not roller skates, but Bakugan. I was thinking about the, what's the thing called? Beyblades. Beyblades.

I never had a Beyblade. I had a Bokugan. I can tell. I set my base card and rolled it out. All right, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

800 attacks. Here we go. Here we go. Cam, your first word is, and this is an ironic one, misspell. Misspell? Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. M-I-S-P-E-l-l stupid no two s's yeah what the damn it it really was just two s's yeah it's just m-i-s-s

p-l-e-l or e-l-l damn it i could have had one all right second one i thought it was like a reverse psychology no second. Second one. You could tell he wasn't allowed to eat dinner if he failed at that. That was my only chance. That was my only chance. I got starved if I didn't pass? Jeez. Lisa's not going to like that one.

I'm sorry. Lisa didn't help me with schoolwork. Who did? No one. I helped myself. My dad was at work and my mom just bless her heart i never asked her for help okay i'm just figure it out second word fuchsia oh like the color i don't know i don't know what it means f-u-s-c-i-a fuchsia say it again f-u-s-c-i-a fuchsia say it one more time. It's slower because I can't keep up with what you're saying.

I think I'm getting it right. No, no, no. I'm not trying to f*** with you. You're going too fast and it's confusing me. And your spacing is really different. My eye did that thing again. Your eye like pulses. All right.

All right. Come on, come on. F-U-S-C-I-A, like, pulses. Alright. Come on, come on. F-U-S-C-I-A. Fuchsia. Stupid 0 for 2. We're just as dumb. You're a dumb little idiot. F-U-C-S-I-A?

What? Spell it for me. F-U-C-H-S-I-A. There's an H. Alright, go. Fuchsia. I gave you words you actually use. Indict.

Oh, wait. Indic. In cook. I gave you words you actually use. Indict. Oh, wait. Indic. In cook. I meant to say indict. Indict. Oh, you spelled it for me. Yeah, no, that's why I had to go back. I am the.

All right. Nauseous. Spelling. Cam's attitude and life in general and existence makes Peyton nauseous. What fucking website is that? What fucking website is that? What bullshit website is that? All right, nauseous. The smell of Cam when he leaves outside makes Peyton nauseous.

It smells like grass and pennies. Fuck that website. Here we go. Nauseous. N-A-E. You got it wrong. wrong Okay let me try again No you don't get two tries You didn't even let me finish

You got it wrong What do I think you finished You're gonna redo it You didn't let me finish You said it all You got it Okay N-A-S

N-A-U N-A-U-S-E-O-U-S Yeah but it doesn't count It doesn't count Let's do another round Let's do another round You said N-A-U N-A-U-S-E-O-U-S Yeah but it doesn't count It doesn't count Let's do another round Let's do another round You said N-A-E Okay bro you're dumb as shit

Cause I think I'm trying to like I think we're I don't even care if I win Yeah you went 0 for 3 I don't care if I win As long as me and Cam Are the same amount of smart I'll take this

Okay here we go Uh Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious I'm just kidding Yeah yeah you would've got choked Um Here we go B-O-C-R-A-C-Y

I'm kidding Does that make you feel good If I. I'm just kidding. Yeah, you would have got choked. Here we go. Bureaucracy. I'm kidding. Does that make you feel good about that word? I'm sorry. See how lame he is? Bureaucracy is a fun word to him. I said f*** word. Accommodate. That's pretty. A-C-C-O-M-A-D-A-T-E. Wrong, wrong. Stop. Stop. Wrong. Is that fun? Does that make you feel good? Don't let you finish? Accommodate.

A-C-C-O-M-M-O-D-A-T-E. Stop doing that. No, stop doing that. No, you're going to make me mad. Stop doing that. Do a word that doesn't got the double letters. We're doing one for one. Okay, but you do that again, the game's over. That's stupid.

Oh, is it umpire? Hey, go back to your bibliography website of us. All right, mischievous. Mischievous. Yes. M-I-S-C-H-I-E. What did I say? I said M-I-S-C-H.

You got it right so far. I. Did I say V or E? Help me. You got.H. You got it right so far. I. Did I say V or E? Help me. You got. This is what you got right so far. What do I got so far? M-I-S-C-H-I-E.

O-U-S. There's a V there. Huh? I thought you said I said V. You said E. Obviously there's a V. Okay, hold on. I'll start from the jump.

Mischievous. M-I-S-C-H-E-I. You said E. Obviously, there's a V. Okay, hold on. I'll start from the jump. Mischievous. M-I-S-C-H-E-I-V-O-U-S. It's I before E. Sometimes Y. That's a stupid-ass rule. You know, there's more occurrences where it's E before I than I before E. Well, you got it wrong.

So, first one to get one is the smarter one. Oh, my God. See how Cam gets so mad? We got to hurry this up. Unnecessary. Cam. That's my answer. That's your answer, C.A.M.? Bro, I said not to do the ones with double-ass letters.

Stop doing the ones with double-ass letters. No, stop doing the double-ass letters. That's a rule. That's a rule. That's a rule. Stop doing it. Spell sergeant. Oh, I know this one

because I remember. That shit typically works. Oh, I know this one because I remember. Sergeant. S-A-R-G-E-N-T. You're wrong. I thought there was an I-N-E-N-T.

What the fuck? I was going to say S-A-R-G-E-N-T. What the f***? I was going to say S-A-R-G-I-E-N-T. What are you spelling? I was going to spell S-A-R-G-I-E-N-T. I remember there was some f***ing little part in the middle. Go. Sergent. You're already wrong.

S-E-R-G-E-N-T. It's Sergent, and it's still wrong. You can't do that to me. Because I'm trying to figure it out in my brain out loud, and you're yelling at me. You cut me off first. You started this premature premature cutting you're the one that wasn't gifted and talented i had to take summer school and had to do after school tutoring because my brain couldn't handle the knowledge attention because you were thumbing your tail saying hi to the little girls showing them your cool ass phone and your little suspenders with your silly band you're a little

cool guy you go to the movies in the fourth grade, get a little kissy kiss, you were swapping spit behind the monkey bars. You know what I was doing? I was having dunk contests on the monkey bars with myself. I practiced dunks on the monkey bar. I said, I'm the only one that can do Statue of Liberty. Then here

comes along Ryan, and he does it better than me, and the girls like him. We'll do one more each. One more each. go surveillance surveillance s you know I'm gonna just go for it here we go surveillance surveillance s u r v those eyes in peace again. Survey. There was an A. Surveillance. People finally know that I'm smarter. S-U. Shut your damn mouth. We're just as smart.

Surveillance. S-U-R-V. Surveillance. E. Surveillance. E-L-I-A-N-C. Nope. You're wrong and stupid

And we're just as dumb That's the spelling bee of the U-Shin-O Did you see how we just punched? That's the Round of applause for the spelling bee of the U-Shin-O podcast Why are we clapping? Because we're both as smart as each other No, we're both as dumb as each other

We both went over I don't celebrate unsuccess stories You don't give participation medals around YSK. I'm starving Speaking of starving I have think of this How do you eat your string cheese? I don't eat string cheese makes me gag. I Don't like it. I swear to God. I don't String cheese it's the the coldness of it. It's nice. If you were to eat string cheese Do you string it or just chew it whole? I would just chew it whole like a man

Welcome. Thank you. Who does that? People say stringing it makes it taste better. Hey, it's the same thing. Bullshit. It's literally cheese. You just eat it.

I don't like to eat like a rabbit. Oh, my God. Huh. You know what I just thought of? String cheese? I mean, it was never really in them, but we were talking about school and school grounds and shit. Tell me about it.

Lunchables. Oh, my God. Not a Lunchables guy. Also made me gag. What the hell did you eat? Unless you warmed them up. What did you eat? Unless you warmed them up.

Put a Lunchable in a microwave, make you want to slap your grandma. She's dead. Dig her up and slap her. You warmed up Lunchables. That's a sick thing you just said. You didn't warm up your Lunchables? No one ever. No one ever. You buy't warm up your Lunchables? No one ever. No one ever.

You buy them in the refrigerator. You refrigerate them. You keep them in your little cool lunchbox with a cool little ice pack that looks like a dragon. And then you eat it cold. This is a very popular debate going on is the microwaving of Lunchables. Who likes cold crackers? Who likes warm? Name a single time you've had warm crackers in your life at least room temp

you're not warm you're heating it up with nuclear power you don't warm up your graham crackers what the you don't warm up your s'mores with the graham over a fire you know what you put over the fire the marshmallow not the cracker you jack wagon oh so the heat just stays in between the between the bread you don't like toast You warmed up a nacho Lunchable. Oh, my God. You deserve prison. The chicken nugget ones. Especially the best ones, right?

The little nugget ones? Dude, the nuggets were fine. Thank you. Those are the only times I'd eat cold nuggets, to be honest. But, oh, my God, you're a prisoner. They serve it cold. You eat it cold. They serve it cold to preserve it.

That's like going to get the dino nuggies out of the Tyson pack, and you're just eating them out of there because they're cold. You heat them up like a human, you goddamn orangutan. Those are frozen, you numbskull. You're a little zoo pet. I'm a zoo. You heat. So what was your favorite lunchable?

I didn't like it really at all. It was all my grandma. Which one did you ever got? Did you heat them up? The pizza? So you had soggy. Oh, no, the pizza ones I didn't like. I couldn't do that.

Wait, you didn't heat up the pizza ones? No one heated up the pizza ones. You ate cold pizza? Cold pizza is amazing. Drake said it best. I like your girl better in the morning like a cold slice of pizza. What? He said that.

We're talking about Lunchables, not women. Exactly, but cold pizza is fantastic. Cam, that's been in a freezer in a Target. It's not frozen. It's not frozen. Cam. Let me break something down to you. You eat like a barbarian.

What? No, bullshit. What did you eat for a kid lunch? What did you eat for lunch? If you didn't like lunch, it was a midget gag. Cream cheese midget gag. You probably didn't eat your fruits and veggies. So what'd you eat? You just gnaw on turkey legs? At home or at school? At school. I would just get the square pizzas. Those were fire. Michelle Obama kind of ruined them, but they were fire.

They were gas. They were so good. With a little chocolate milk? Oh, my God. They were so good. I got the little cheeseburger off them, too. You did that? The square pizza with the chocolate milk?

F*** that. Back to Lunchables. Cam, I'm going to explain something to you. Think of the little sandwich ones, right? It has the crackers, the little cheese. You don't talk when I'm talking. And then there's of the little sandwich ones, right? It has the crackers, the little cheese. You don't talk when I'm talking. And then there's the little bologna, right? It was never bologna.

What was it, ham? You had some wretched, some bullshit-ass lunch. What was it, bologna? The little ham ones. Ham or turkey. Whatever it was. Ham or turkey. Cam, I don't like cold meat.

It's lunch meat. Cam, that's not good. You're supposed to heat it up. That's not good for you. You have to cook your food. That's just not good for you. I'm just looking at a science perspective. Oh my God, your science is flawed

because you're not cooking the lunch meat. It's already made. You cook things that are raw. Lunch meat can be eaten immediately. Lunchables can be eaten immediately. You put something in a microwave, it is heating it up. You can also eat a cold chicken leg.

You can eat that and you'll be fine. And that's raw! That's raw! The fake surprise is the f***ing best! It's f***ing raw! It's raw chicken! You're not going to make me crazy because on the back of the thing there's an instruction manual that says to heat. They wouldn't put that on there if you're not supposed to do it, dumbass.

I don't know if that's factual. I don't know if that's factual. Google launchable, CJ. Someone pull up a picture of launchable. I'm telling you because this is a popular debate and people have talked about this. I want to punch you. There's heating on the back of them. Okay, so, okay.

Oh, my God. You know the chicken and rice I get and it comes already cut in that bag? Yes. That green? Okay. That's not raw, is it? Shut up. green? Okay. That's not raw, is it? Shut up. Answer my question.

That's not raw, is it? No, it's cooked. So you can just eat that out of the thing, right? And it's frozen! When shit is frozen, you unfreeze it. When shit's just cold, you can eat it. It's not in the freezer in the grocery store? Yes!

It's frozen! I'm talking about Lunchables. No! Yes, it is. Lunchables come in ice bricks. No, they come in the in the in the thing you pull it open with the it's in the same damn section that is it's in the same i just i'm gonna break my no listen to me it's in the same damn section as the the frozen chicken

nuggets it's the same damn section cam i'm telling you something you shop at these magical supermarkets that aren't real your bacon is dry and on the aisle your your your lunchables are near the frozen chicken you know lunchables are tyson chicken it's right by it oh it's right by the chicken nuggets i'm getting i'm about to get i'm about to get naked go to our local krogi go kim you don't know you're rich you do drive-thru groceries you haven't seen the inside of a grocery store in two years. That's you. You're reflecting or neglecting. What is the word?

Deflecting. Deflecting. Thank you. You're a deflector. Defector. Bro, Lunchables is right next to the deli meat and the pickles and the sliced. The pickles are on a shelf. Pickles are on a shelf right next to the bread That's how I know

You don't eat a good pickle The good pickles are already cold You'll learn one day Bubba Don't touch me Cam am I right Yes or no The pickles are by the bread In the shelf

The regular pickles The little kosher The dilly ones The ones with the The one with the God damn duck on it The one Exactly

The ones with the Those are the good ones No those are just The mainstream pickles The one with the seasoning That's been marinating in there It's like $8 for a jar I season my own

God damn picky The day You Oh my god The day you your mainstream pickles, the one with the seasoning that's been marinating in there. It's like $8 for a jar. I season my own goddamn picky. The day you, oh my God, the day you season your own pickles, you can just shoot me in the ass because that is, that is never going to happen. I'll season your pickle.

Are you, okay, if you had to put $100 right now. Okay. I know $100 is not a lot. I didn't even say that. Okay, if you had to put $100

on Lunchables being next to frozen chicken nuggets, would you do that right now? I would put my life on it. Please, please give me a monetary value. Please. So you're saying there's no grocery store in the world that has them right by each other? You're all f***ed. Oh, my God.

Oh, you deserve to be squished. I didn't say a specific store, did I? You did. What's the store? It doesn't matter. I'm saying there's grocery stores. I'm just saying there's grocery stores where they have them. Yes or no. And I have seen it. I have seen it. I can't remember which one, but I have seen it.

Cam, you are wrong. It's okay to be wrong. Lunchables deserve to be heated up. That's how they're supposed to be made. Cook your food. And then they have the little cold apples. They have the little cold apples. You put those in the microwave, it's like an apple pie. You're not cooking the food. It is already ready to eat.

It is ready to eat. It is ready to eat. For you Slavic-ass polar bear Viking people, yeah, but sometimes I want a warm meal, Cam. I want a warm meal like a goddamn human, like a middle-class American. You can go get it. You dumb sack of shit. All right. You know where they have the warm food ready to eat?

What, the food kitchen? Is that where I belong, Kim? Because I didn't have a private school like you that had MacBook Pros and iPads? I didn't have carnival food at my field day? Your field day was in a parking lot. Yeah, it was. It was. I know you did that. You had to call your principal chancellor and madam.

That's what you did. I go, beautiful afternoon, Lord Marshall. All right, let's get out of here. That was a great episode. That was a great episode. All right, P, fantastic episode. Fantastic. But I think we need to help some people in their little cute little hearts before we get out of here.

I'm down. Bring them in. Without further ado. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P.

Dr. P. Dr. P. Greetings, Lord. How you doing? Secretary Cam. Don't ever touch me again. You're right, sorry. They can't hear you. The mic's up there. Dear't ever touch me again. You're right, sorry. They can't hear you.

The mic's up there. Dear Dr. P. Hello. I need help. Okay. There's a girl that I like. Had for a couple months. Nice.

She's tall, beautiful as f***. Very respectful. Along with 98% of other things I look for in a girl. You're not even talking into the mic. I'm 18. She's 19. Okay. Now here's my problem.

Okay. She's my best mate's fiance oh wait a minute they just got engaged about a month ago and have been dating for several years but i've liked her ever since he introduced me to her it was love at first sight what do i do this is why i took the class in college and i am dr p oh my god oh my god i have so many questions so many questions before i have answers first of all engaged at 18 yeah wild your life um uh geez first of all early start on them and that means brains are not even fully developed they don't even make they're not even making the right decisions at that age cortex is still both both of the everybody in this situation is just young and goddamn stupid like what is happening um first of

all you're a sick bastard um i wish there was a follow did he leave his number he did not leave his number because i would call right now now, and I would like to know, is she giving him a little rhythm? Because you know you can tell there's a little rhythm, or is this guy just completely delusional? Let's play devil's advocate. Let's say he's not delusional. And she's giving a little rhythm.

There's definitely a couple winks, a couple smiles. This is how you go about it. It's called a dirty Mac. A dirty Mac. You go up to your best mate. First of all, where are you? You found her on the tube this is where this is where you this is what you do you go to your homeboy be like hey

bro i ain't gonna lie to you dog she ain't the one oh god dirty mac i don't think she's the one big dog is dr p talking not paying this i don't think she's the one bro she'd be kind of i ain't don't even bring it on yourself. She'd be kind of looking at, what's his name? Somebody that she, My God, a double deflect. Somebody that he can't go ask. Like somebody y'all know of, but you can't go ask that guy.

You have no contact with that guy. Somebody that lives in Switzerland or wherever y'all live. God, this is sick work. Hey, bro, I ain't going to lie to you. And you gather evidence first. You be detective. You're in a murder mystery now the lights went off somebody woke up murdered you gotta find out who owns the knife you know what i mean guess who owns the knife the whole time you do your back pocket you do you little sick conniving bastard yo um but it's not gonna end well for

anybody even if it does go well they break up she, she loves you, you lost your best mate. Is that worth it? Is this shot at true love? You're 18, 19 years old. Yeah. You've seen 1% of the people you will ever see in your life. Yeah. Let's explore a little bit. Let's go to-

Go on a couple trips. Get on that tube and go to the other part of Great Britain. Go to Essex. Yeah. Sussex. Essence Festival. It's a black festival. I didn't know that. And I. Go to Essex. Yeah. Sussex. Essence Festival. It's a black festival. I didn't know that, and I wasn't referring to that.

Did you ever read Jet Magazine as a kid? No. We had a bunch of Jet Magazines running around in my crib. Is that? If you know, you know. No, it's not ornography. No, I knew it wasn't that. I was just saying, is it like a black?

It's a black magazine. Yeah, I didn't have that. Jet Magazine i used to be want to be on the cover of jet magazine because my mom had a bunch of anything to do with planes real just fly all right be careful but i'm saying i would say it's not going to go well for anybody i would say break them up just so you my god break them up but you can't have her you can't you can't put all your eggs in one basket and eat your cake. You can't do that. That's a lot of eggs, a lot of cake, a lot of baskets.

What you got to do is you got to end on a win, and your win is breaking them up just so you can't see. You don't have to be around their happiness all the time. Let her be happy somewhere else in essence or wherever. Get on the tube. Let her be happy somewhere else. Go stroll with your best mate. Yeah, so she can get out of sight, out of mind, and you can go find a new love of your life

because I promise you'll have 18 more in the next four years of your life. You're 19 years old. You'll be all right. Dr. B. Dr. B. Dr. B. Dr. B. Dr. B.

Dr. B. Get us out of here, Cam. All right, everybody. Episode 114. Thank you so much for coming back to another beautiful, amazing episode. We love seeing your little faces through that other side of the screen. Everything you need is linked in the description below. The tickets, the Discord, the Patreon, the Twitch, Facebook, it is all linked below.

Anything you need, go down there. Any question you need can be answered down there. But Boulder, Colorado, four days. So you already know this week's secret code. Confuse the casuals. Get your good karma and get the energy pumped up for the tour. Secret code is T-I-H. Tour is ready.

I said H. Oh. Tour is here. Here. Tour is here. T-I-H. I said H. Oh. Tor is here. Here. Tor is here. T-I-H. Let's go. He didn't say T-I-R.

I said T-I-H. Your ears are clogged. Tor is happening. Tor is here. Whatever you want to say. Pierce has his own ideas. But we absolutely love y'all. The Tor is happening.

It's right now. We will officially be done with the Colorado show before y'all see us again next week at episode 115. But we absolutely love y'all. And remember, one out of ten quad bears don't make it home to Christmas, and we will see you in four days in Colorado. Hello? And next time. Tickets available now.