You Should Know Podcast - YOU KISSED MY SISTER? -You Should Know Podcast-

Episode Date: August 26, 2024

NEW MERCH: https://youshould-know.shop/password PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/YouShouldKnowPodcast FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/people/You-Should-Know-Podcast/61552092953106/ NEW TWITCH CHANNEL: https://m.twitch.tv/peytonhardin/home Peyton’s Polaroids: https://instagram.com/peytonpolaroids?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== TRUE VAULT ESCAPADES: https://youtube.com/@AtomicWolf54 0:00 MERCH OUT NOW! 2:11 Manscaped 3:25 CAM JOINS! 7:13 INSANE HAMPTONS TRIP 9:00 MANDO 10:17 SEA PLANE HORROR STORY 20:46 LOVE IN THE NURSING HOME 24:32 HIMS 25:55 Peyton’s Parents INSANE Love Story 27:41 Peyton in a NURSING HOME 30:06 Cam is Peyton’s CARE TAKER 32:42 Internal Dialogue is FAKE?! 36:09 Save Your Wife Or Your Boys? 38:30 FUM 39:41 HORSES ARE TERRIFYING 41:58 HORSES VS HUMANS DEBATE 44:23 INSANE DRIVE THRU STORY! 48:53 The CHIPOTLE Creep! 52:50 MOTIVATIONAL POO’s 56:40 The Urinal Cowboy Creep 59:05 Can You One Cheek it? 1:01:23 MAMA LIV JOINS 1:04:24 CAN I DATE YOUR SISTER? 1:21:47 DR.P (FRIEND STOLE MY GIRL) 1:26:12 ANNOUNCEMENTS Todays Sponsors: MANDCAPED: https://www.manscaped.com/?gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADOo6mDKjZ_zmJNGqXcQcLOvcZE3g&gclid=Cj0KCQjwrKu2BhDkARIsAD7GBovgE9iSrR6LOdXuV3F9Ym4DglLgihS2_CMXbfTUabzAAvnuuhzMMGEaAtJZEALw_wcB MANDO: https://shopmando.com HIMS: https://www.hims.com/consult-start-qn-mbg-dlp-holiday?utm_source=QCode&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=hims&utm_content=YSK&utm_product=zeus&utm_term=rsu FUM: https://tryfum.com YouShouldKnow P.O. BOX 191564 2825 Oak Lawn Ave Dallas, Texas 75219 FOLLOW PEYTON: https://instagram.com/psh8?igshid=ZDg1NjBiNjg= JOIN THE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/V5WYhSte2R Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Episode 127. Round of applause, please. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. We here we're here that's magical that's magical you want to know it's gonna be a wild episode you want to know why there's so much high energy high vibes in the studio the merch is officially out available right now yep yep yep yep and i feel good too At the top of the description is a link to the merchant is available for only seven days. You have until next Monday. You have until next Monday to grab this new exclusive, beautiful merch. And we spoke with our merch team and

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Just efficient, effective grooming wherever you need it. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. We got GoHost Cam back in the studio. You see the merch? You see the merch?

You see the merch? You see the merch? It's pink. It You see the merch? You see the merch? It's pink. It's red. It's soft. It's fashionable. It's puff print. I'm running out of words, but it's so nice.

We got Ko-O Scam back in the studio. Yo! That should be my little thing. Yo! How are you feeling, Bobby? You look good. Your garments are fresh. I see a twinkle in your eye and a twinkle on that shirt and a twinkle in me.

A twinkle in my... Man, we got one mute already. I'm so sorry. We're about two mutes. Good job. Hey, Kim, you don't want us to make money. It's okay. I'm sorry.

I didn't know. I couldn't say that. I feel like I've said that before. You make me sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star in my head every time I see you. Oh, well, that's fantastic. How are you feeling, Bubba? I'm feeling absolutely ecstatic, adventurous, can't wait to see it, and incredibly happy because the merch is live.

It is. It's been cooking behind the scenes. The bun is finally out. The casserole's done. The timer went off, and now it's here to cut little pieces been cooking behind the scenes. The bun is finally out. The casserole's done. The timer went off, and now it's here to cut little pieces and give to the world. We're feeding the world. We're the Peter Pan of the casserole industry. Just look at it one more time.

It is. We're Peter Pan of multiple. The thing that's kind of making me clench is the fact it looks good optically, right? Obviously, it looks good optically. Obviously. If they could feel the garment, if they could run their straggly little fingers through our garments right now. Their narwhal hands.

If they could run their orc claws through our shirt. They're like, I like it. Yeah, if you can take your little shmeagle paws and put it on this shirt. Let's talk about it real quick. Let's talk about it. Colorway, absolutely fantastic. Of course. Beautiful.

The hoodie. Neither one of us are wearing it because it's 100 degrees outside. But it's not going to be for long. But it's not going to be for long. So be prepared for the fall and the winter coming up. And that's why we're dropping it because it's fantastic. But the hoodie, my God, so soft, so beautiful. The pink is fantastic.

And the puff print. The puff print is just, it does something to me. That's why I clench. The pink reminds me of my friend Toothless. Talk to him, Toothless. Okay, but the shirt and hoodie both, new designs, never before seen, beautiful colorways, puff print, per usual. The hoodie is very, very soft.

You can wear it inside. You can wear it outside. It is an amazing hoodie, and the shirt is soft, breathable, breathable fantastic whenever you are naked you look like a lobster without the shell i just wanted to put that out there every time i've seen you naked i'm like oh there's a lobster i look like a shell-less tortoise yeah i look like a tortoise a little gut a lot of just naked skin you look good to lay with though i could i'm a good heater. I've been told I'm a natural heater. Yeah. You know how some people have to buy space heaters?

I am a space heater. You felt it. I did because we slept together in the Hamptons. We snuggled. But not only... I felt your talon claw. That's what I felt. You were scratching me with the sword of a toenail.

It was in your... It's alright. That was a little peanut butter in there. A little peanut butter jelly jam. Aunt Jemima get canceled i was scratching my uh my toenail on your achilles tendon i was making you feel like kobe bryan in 2013 okay okay you just went you had a you had a audible fever dream just now and jemima peanut butter jelly and jams and kobe bry. Yeah. But I was saying about the merch. The hoodie is so soft, so nice.

I wore it on the plane to the Hamptons. We went to the Hamptons this weekend with Patron. Hello. Thank you to Patron for having us. Thank you, Patron, so much. Fantastic trip. Thank you. Let's talk about the trip a little bit.

Not you, me. Here we go. So we got invited to go to the Hamptons with Patron. If you don't know, the Hamptons, it's like this nice, it's a very old money, bougie area. Yes. New York style. Yeah. You know what I mean?

And it's strangely far from New York City. Didn't know it was two and a half hour car ride from New York City. And it's only 70 miles. Yeah. But the highway to speed them is 50. So that's why it takes you so long to get there. So what they did was they flew us first class, of course. They could put me in first class. Up in the Camel could put me in first class up in the Camelon.

I want to be up in the Camelon. Here we go. Hello. So they take first class New York. We get to New York. They have a car outside of the airport. They say, Peyton, Cam, that's your car. Get here.

We're going to take you to this loading dock. Not a fan of loading docks. Reminds me of murder and killing. 100%. You know what I mean? Morgan is around the corner. God bless you, Joel Goldberg. Here we go.

So we get there, and we're on this loading dock right and it's this nice like you can tell it's a little elevated a little bougie a little bit of scent of some bass yeah unseasoned bass like very local like if i throw a breadcrumb it's gonna be a swarm i'm smelling a lot of fish the the aesthetics were nice and the drinks on deck were fantastic a lot of fish i was like is are we by the sea or is too far oh what oh what oh come on oh what it will mute it can we mute yeah i like that oh my god i like that oh you like electrolyte don, my God. I like that. Oh, you like electrolytes, don't you? You like electrolyte box. You're like, oh, I'm so tired.

Oh, I'm so tired. I need some protein. You're like, no, just give me a heart. I'm like, hey, coach, I'll take a liquid IV and some magnesium. He's like, just give me the broad. I'll be good for tomorrow. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Mando.

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now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. Oh, man. All right. I don't know how much of that's staying in. Here we go. Oh, God. So we get to the loading dock, right? And there's helicopters.

Helicopters. There's seaplanes. Seaplanes. Big-ass yachts. Big yachts. Huge yachts. Rock the boat. Aaliyah style.

Rest in peace. So we were under the impression that we were going to be on a helicopter to the hampton yes and arnold arnold i'm not even gonna say i was waiting for it because i get to the chopper yeah you know what i mean they go oh no no the helicopters are for the la folks yeah they're already at the house already gone you're getting in the boat with wings. And I said, really? Okay. That's how that works. Todd, I know yours is going to be more descriptive, so please.

I didn't speak just now. No, it's okay. I know yours is going to be more descriptive. Please tell them the troubles of getting onto that, like loading the seaplane. First of all, this is all jokes. We're very grateful for any kind of thing they gave us fantastic but that shit was scary dude we're getting first off it's in the water it's in the water when you get on it so the the shit's going like yes and the guy's holding on to a rail he's like watch your head the clearance is like four and a half feet me and p

are getting on it like this walking in yeah if you follow me on instagram i posted me getting onto it everybody said do you fit yeah and the answer is no so they were like they had to assist us to get there's like eight people on this seaplane me and cam are six seven and the roof was probably like four foot right like no exaggeration so we get on right and we the seatbelts from behind you and you strap it over you like you're in a roller coaster. You're in the Big Titan. Yeah. And so my rationale is going, are we just going to go straight up because we're on water? And I don't understand the science of how we're on water. We end up in air and we have propellers. Yeah. And so we get on, right? The pilot gets into the pilot seat, but the co-pilot is outside of the seaplane holding on. He was like tucking strings and stuff.

The plane is literally starting to move. The co-pilot is, I mean, we're not even we're like 50 yards away from the dock yeah so if the guy falls in then it's like he's treading water like we're fully in a harbor right now and he's in board shorts and hey dudes and he's hanging on to the side of the wing strapping up like things like putting a belt on this lever tucking a rope i'm like is he does he swim back how is he getting into this place? Yeah, so the doors are closed, and we're starting to ride on the water. We're just floating on the water. And I'm like, that man is still outside, and we're starting to gain speed.

Is he going to write, brother, this and fly on top with goggles the whole way? How is he getting inside? I said, is this a part of the show? I was like, is he Tom Cruise? Is this our first event first attraction are we is he a zoo like what are we what are we doing so then the plane starts to hit higher speeds yeah we're going on this water and i'm like i still don't know how we're getting up yeah we're hitting quick speeds and i'm seeing the outside dude start to get a little wind in his system. Yeah, I was about to be like, hey, guy, there's a man. Did you forget your part?

Like, what is going on? He, like, crawls across the plane. How did he get? I genuinely don't know how he got in. I was thinking about it, too, because if he went right in the front, the propeller would have diced him like a tomato. But I'm like, did he crawl under it? Like, did he keep soaking away?

He was like. Dude, that would be sick but he somehow he he david blamed him his way into the front seat he's like crawling through this window he sits down then he puts on this like alaskan headset i'm like it's 80 degrees and it's hot and you're putting on like a like a hopper from stranger things head thing so this whole time my main question is still how are we getting up yeah my answer is right in front of me we started to go oh we were going we were going we're going fast and we're bouncing on the water off the water and i'm telling i'm literally in this bit sorry yeah i don't know if this is regulation and there's like like 80-year-old billionaires on this plane, and they're so fine with this.

I'm like, I'm concussed. How are y'all's brains not scrambled eggs? Do you remember what you immediately said to me once we got airborne? Peyton immediately taps, because he was behind me, he immediately taps my shoulder and goes, how quick would Olivia have thrown up? Oh, yeah, it is. Dude, we were driving, or we were floating, whatever the hell. Dude, it was, we were driving,

we were floating, whatever the hell. Swimming. Yeah, we were swimming in a tube with wings and we finally got this little clearance. They're like, traffic, traffic,

clear. Yep. They're like, all right. And like immediately, we were going fast as hell in the water. And they were just bouncing off the water. Whack,

whack, whack. And on the fourth one, it was like, whack. And then we just started taking off and I was like, okay, did on the fourth one, it was like, whack. And then we just started taking off. And I was like, okay, did you please tell me, and this might be stupidity.

And I'm willing to say that. I assumed, because it's a sea plane, we're going to stay above water. Because if shit goes south, we're in a boat, right? We can float. They take off and immediately they're over like Broadway. We're over the Empire state building at this point there we're over straight concrete in this little itty bitty eight person plane with like five backpacks in the front a co-pilot that crawls

on the wings and board shorts and i'm just like man i i'm i'm sweating yeah i'll just say that i'm sweating i was like oh they do this every day he's in board shorts like he clearly knows it's it's a simple task i'm not tripping we're gonna get there and then we're just literally looking over like we got to a height to where the airport looked small yeah i was like we are significantly in the air we're where you know like that whenever you're on a plane if y'all have ever flown when you're descending and you're just sitting for a little bit and they kind of mellow out yeah they mellow out and you can still see everything but you're high as hell yeah That's where we were the whole time.

That's where we were living. Yeah, and so we, like 45 minutes goes by, we're about to land, right? Yeah. Once we're about to land, I'm like, where's the water? All right, we're in the middle of a forest, and I see nothing but concrete in front of us. Now, if I remember, 45 minutes ago, we took off via sea. You know what I mean?

We were in a harbor. Yeah. And so I thought, mayday, mayday. Yeah. Rest in peace. I love you, Patron. We didn't make it to the trip. Something's going terribly wrong.

We're about to crash. And to my surprise, we had wheels on the seaplane. Dude, the whole time I was standing, I was like, is the water not affecting these electronics? Like, we were slapping. Is the water not getting in our engines, in our turbos, in our propellers? Or what's going on? The whole time I was questioning it. It was a damning piece of technology we were in.

But let's talk about the landing real quick one more time. It looked like we were in the Amazon. Yeah, it was crazy. There were straight trees. I was like, this is a really ducked off house because this is straight it was forest it looked like jurassic park like it looked like we were literally about to land with dinosaurs yeah and then out of nowhere there's this strip of concrete you're looking at it and then obviously it gets bigger and then it's a whole little private airport yeah but i was like oh my god yeah we landed in this private jet

airport graceful landing. Great landing. Hell of pilots. That pilot looked like a middle linebacker. Like, at one time, he was a spy. You know? He was a cover two spy. QB spy. He was watching the plane.

That's why he was grappling it. But, no, fantastic job. I mean, I guess. Yeah. It was our first and only experience, but it went good. We'll get into the details of the Patron trip on Patreon. But I just want to say, first of all, again, thank you to Pat to patron for having us we want to do it every single time y'all invite us that was a fantastic weekend thank y'all so much not even from the team of patron they were

all super cool oh yes they're great people and then the talent that they brought on like we we knew some of the people that were going to be on the trip right we got like a briefing of who's going to be on there and like these there's got, like, a briefing of who's going to be on there. And, like, there's people that we've, like, watched before. Yeah. Like, Harry Jowsey, you've watched Vanderpump before, so you knew. I knew Don. Katie and Dana.

Yeah. And so it's, like, we've been in this long enough to, you know, a lot. Like, the ins and outs. Yeah, you may run into some people that are, like, big, like, actually, like, famous, and they're not the nicest of people. So that was kind of my concern. But as soon as we got in the house, completely opposite,

it was, everybody was so cool. We all became legit, like open arms. Like it was like you walked in and you were just getting side hugs and shaking hands and dapping up bros. And it was like, it was like,

it was almost like a family trip. Yeah. It was like a trip you took with your family. Like you're showing up and seeing like your cousin. That's how nice it was. Everyone was so nice. Yeah. We'll get into the details on Patreon.

Link in the description. What was your highlight of the Patron trip? Dude, highlight of the Patron trip. Obviously, cliche to say, all of it was fantastic. But I would say genuine one moment, if I had to say it, was our last night dinner. The second night dinner. Yes, that's it. It was so, it was just fun.

It was intimate with our group because we were all at one table we were all cracking jokes the food was out of this world oyster you he had an oyster for the first time again we'll talk about that on patreon yeah uh food was fantastic vibes were fun but it was like intimate but it was also like if you just look behind you it's like a full-blown like party like it was sick it was dope um there was you saw my instagram if you follow me on instagram uh there was like these dancers that started coming out and they had wings on them and she decided to be right behind me for the duration of her show and so i'm trying to eat like crab legs and lobster tail and i'm i'm eating it and the whole time my right ear i'm getting a feather

i'm just feeling a wet willy in your ear and i look time I ride here, I'm getting a feather. I'm just feeling a feather. Someone just wet-willed you in your ear. And I look through my peripheral, and there's a Latin booty just shaking. A Latin culo, and you're just like. Yeah, you go, loyal. I need a loyal big booty. Dude, no, do you remember when I almost knocked the waitress off her block? Yeah, Cam, you were wilding for a little bit. Dude, the first time the feather women came through,

it literally tickled me. I said, what the hell? I jerked and I slapped the waitress holding like two cans of water, like the big glass things of water. She was like, oh, and I was like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. She was like, no, she tickled me too.

And I was like, she definitely didn't, but you're just a nice person. You're saving face. Yeah, so shout out to Patron again. Thank you. We can't wait to do something again. Fantastic trip. Hopefully soon.

Yes. We can bring the gang next time, hopefully. If the phone rings, we'll answer. Yeah, 100%. I have a question for you. I have an answer for you, big baby daddy. If you had to send one of your parents to a nursing home right now, which one? Oh, my dad.

Why? Oh, my dad. Because you know what happens in nursing homes. A lot of geriatric ass. What? Oh, you don't know? They'd be slanging poontain? No, no, no, no.

Not Gladys. What? Y'all didn't know that? She's like, Harold, you beat me in checkers. I'll see you in the linen closet. Like, no. That is disgusting. No, no.

That's like the number one place where STDs get spread. What? It's a nursing home, I swear to you. They be going crazy because they don't have teeth, so that gum work

be going... Stay killing taste lists. No, no, no. Okay. Now, to second it, why would you not send your mom mom so you said why you would send your dad why would you not send your mom you you know my mom right yeah she would she would deck this shit out of something because you know because old people like you know sometimes they don't really have that filter oh yeah and someone says something crazy to my mom they'd be like oh you're a new they'd be like they let y'all in here now god damn it i thought i picked a different one

no your mom would be definitely too okay but now here's the beauty of this question yeah it's kind of messed up and this would never happen in real life. But there was an underlying caveat that you didn't know. Okay. If you sent your mom, it was really your mom and Preston going. But since you sent your dad, it's your dad and you going to the nursing home. So now, you and your dad. You could be running the two-man of the century. You scum! Stop! I'd be like, you give me cheap movie tickets, huh?

You give me a little discount. I'll meet you down at the worship center. So, you and your dad are now in a nursing home sharing a two-bedroom apartment. Talk me through that. What does that look like? What does a Tuesday look like

for you all? Me and my dad? You and your dad in a two-bedroom apartment behind one closed door. Your rooms are separated literally right now. Like, you have to go tomorrow.

Oh, my God. But, Dad, first of all, I would have the muscles of somebody on death row. your rooms are separated literally right now like you have to go tomorrow oh my god uh my dad first of all i would have the like the muscles of somebody on death row like my dad loves a good prison workout oh yeah he'd be like 800 pull-ups that's all he does you're like dad you wanna go lift he's like man let's just do some pull-ups and sweat a little bit no we would run the meanest two man of the century when your beautiful mother watches this, what is she going to think? Why do you think he bagged her?

That man's got a mouthpiece on him. Where do you think I got it from? He's got a mouthpiece and a squeegee. He was washing that car. He said, hey, don't tell her. Give me her keys.

He said, I'm going to bring it back. He detailed it, washed it. It was my parents' 33rd marriage anniversary or something like that. Cool. Love celebrating love. something like that. Cool.

Love celebrating love. She posted that. Beautiful picture. We were talking. I was talking on the phone with them the day before, and we were just talking about that, and I was like, because they were married for 33 years. They were together like eight years before that. So they were really pushing like 41, 42.

Yeah, and I said, I don't even want to know anybody that long. You know what I mean? I don't want to even be friends. Yeah, you said that. That's messed up. That's so long with someone. You don't want to know me that long you know what i mean like i don't want to even be friends yeah you said that that's messed up that's so long you don't want to know me for another like 23 years if we're being like i got full health like i'm actually gonna make it that long yes yeah but like okay i'll check in with you like on wednesdays you know what i mean like i'm not no no that's a long time 23 years we're gonna be empty to be empty nesters again. It's time to party.

Then I'll have my first kid. If our kid was 21 and you're popping out a junior, I'd be like, what the fuck? Like, man, you missed a roll on that game. Malachi could babysit PJ. That'd be sick. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode is brought to you by friends at HIMSS.

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consultation with a health care provider who will determine if appropriate restrictions apply see website for details and important safety information subscription required price varies based on product and subscription plan now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. Okay, but I found out something about my parents. I didn't know. Oh, Lord. So my dad, he was down bad. Like, he was schmitten over my mother. Yes.

He proposed to her in, like, the first three months. They knew each other. And she said no. And I said, what? Yeah. and she said no and i said i said what yeah so there was a a failed proposal before the real one yeah three months in yeah well this is what happened that's like bible college my mom's it's like that's what they're like damn she got an a in chemistry too meet my wife my mom said she like knew she wanted to be with them for like a long time like she really loved them like but she was like this is crazy yeah sick work so she said she said it was like i'll wear it

but we're not really engaged and don't plan a marriage oh your mom's a dog your mom's just like give me the ring but stay your ass away i'll wear that but not you and she was still i think she was still going on she was still going under her fake name at the time she didn't give my dad a real name for a long time. Wait, what was your mom's fake name? It was something like Demetrius or something. Demetrius? She's like, Demetrius.

I thought you were going to say Damaris. No, it was something more. D'Angelo. No, it was more on the Demetrius side of things. I thought you were going to say she was still going on other dates. Oh, I don't know. Wearing a ring from a man saying, you're not it yet, but I'm going to take your jewelry and then I'm going to go still date Tom on the back end.

Yeah, I really want my parents to come on Patreon and tell their love story. It's actually a fantastic story. Next time they come down. Yeah. We got to make it happen. Okay, but imagine... Oh, you all right? Yeah.

Imagine if you and Lisa were in a nursing home together. Oh, no. No, I love you, Mom, but that'd be something. You would have great oatmeal every day. I'd have great oatmeal, and then I'd. What? It hits a little different. It hits a little different because I do have a wife. And I am expecting a child.

I'm immediately severed from them. Yeah, but as soon as the baby's born, y'all get it. And we live to drive. Lisa and Cameron get that baby? Oh, no. Hell no. You ain't taking mama. Let's go with no.

Let's keep it short and sweet. No. I love you, mom. If anything, if you need one down the line, hopefully we don't have to put you there or whatever. But if we do, would you put me in a home? Because I'm not going to have anybody. Yeah, I would.

I would. I actually sedate you. I'd fill out all the paperwork and you'd just wake up one day in like an 11 by 11 room with like a cool little mini fridge you'd just be like what the hell? and then you'd reach for your pocket

reach for like something like your little you'd have like a weird key chain at that point that you fiddle with and nothing's there and you're just like where am I?

you know and then like a 20 year old comes in she's like you want pot roast or beet stew? And I'm like, beet stew. Who are you? Okay, I think putting me in a nursing home would be a bad idea. Oh, it'd be awful.

You'd get so many complaints. I'd get so many demerits. You would turn it, if you put me in there, because like no one's taking care of me, you would be like the parent of an elementary school kid that's got a bad attitude. You'd get calls every day. He's hitting on her again. He started gnawing his teeth when she came in the room. I go, gnawing his teeth?

He said, yeah. They strap you down. They strap you down like it's death row. You're like, you're going feral. Oh, my God, no. You'd get kicked out. Can they do that? They can kick you out.

A hundred percent. Yeah, yeah. You'd really be a bad grandpa. You'd get kicked out. No, yeah, 100%. Can they do that? They can kick you out. 100%. Yeah, yeah. You'd really be bad grandpa. You'd stand up, your nut sack falls out, and you're just like, you go, hey there, lady. You go, what time's my old sponge bath today? And she's like, oh, no, John's going to get you. You're like, I don't want no damn John.

I want you. Come here, Susie. That'd be you. Oh, man. Oh, shit. That is funny. Okay, because we're oh man i hope i hope i might i might not i might i love life in the world too much i wouldn't put others through that i'd

probably just stick you in our basement thank you i'd probably stick you in a basement y'all like throwing me a sandwich yeah exactly i open the door i throw him a newspaper and, like, a hoagie roll. And he's just like, ah! He grabs things like this. It throws to him. He's like, he's, like, scooping things. These things full-blown, like, primitive. He's like, he goes back to his corner. He's like.

Careful, careful. Oh. Oh, wait. What noise did I make? Oh. I didn't mean that. I didn't go. He goes back to his corner. Oh, my God. I didn't mean that. I didn't go, he goes back to his corner.

I meant like a Smeagol. Like a Smeagol, not a Caesar. I meant like a Smeagol. Okay. Just like a little crawl. No, we get it. You're not racist. Like an orc. You still need to watch Lord of the Rings.

Yeah, I don't, and I won't. No, you do. But we're good enough friends where I hope you would just take care of me at that point i i god that'd be annoying like you bathe me you get my webbing see but i i'd always think i changed my diaper i'm like this i'm like gotta kill you hey kim those are long i'm like hey dog i'm like hey dog wipe me dog i'd be like i'd like you mean to tell me your hip flexors are good enough you can keep your legs there like that but i gotta wipe your ass what she said imagine. I'm like this a mouth guys Right next to me. He's like uncle P

I'm like are you good? He's like no, I'm like when he wipes there either I guess it hurts, but yeah That would that would be the thing that lingers That would be that His changing table is just like a twin XL. He's just like oh Shit no But it would always cross my mind. I'd be like I'd be wiping. I'm like we're the same age I'm like how did I end up in this predicament? He's not 20 years older than me. He's younger than me Why is he mobile?

How are his hip flexors good enough to leave his legs up but he can't wipe his own ass imagine afterwards we like dabble but i appreciate you oh no if you can dab me up and hold your legs in the sky i'd be like get out of my house go get out of my house i know you have money i know you can do something you can drive like i think you just like this you little creep oh i'm saying i i think we're good enough friends where you could just take care of me. But I was having this argument with somebody else because, believe it or not, Cam's not the only person I argue with.

Aw. Oh. Sorry. That was so cool. First of all, that aw wasn't even like an appropriate response for what I said. Yeah, it wasn't. It was weird. It was like a caffeine impulse.

I just took a sip and I was just like, aw. Yeah, what would – Cam's not the only person I argue with yeah that makes more sense it's okay but i was talking to my friend and uh they were telling me about one of their friends that i haven't met yet and they were saying this person like has an accent and i was like oh tell me what your friend sounds like give me a sentence like your friend would say. And they go, I don't really know how my friend sounds. And I said, I was like, how long have y'all been friends? Like eight, nine years. And I was like, so you can't imagine your friend's voice in your head.

And they're like, no, like nobody can do that. You're not friends. But then I looked it up. There's a lot of people that can't like imagine somebody in their lives like voice in their head like you can imagine me saying a sentence right i can i can make us have a whole like a whole chapter exactly okay so i was just wondering if you had that problem too god no do you have an internal dialogue? Yes. So you hear voices, too? It's my voice, but yes. Oh.

Well, sometimes there's other characters. You hear strangers. You hear the little angel-devil combo. Every time it's your own voice in your head? Yeah, it's more of like a me guiding myself. I don't get a, go grab that thing. No. It's like a, I imagine myself like a clipboard like over watching me and i'm

just like we probably shouldn't do that the the the okay there's a little ratio says you have a 26 chance of success so there's a little inflection in your internal dialogue but it's a smaller me it's a variation of you it is oh it's always okay so it's me and like a satanistic voice and then like tom hanks like it's like like tom hanks is like the narrator if i'm going through something woody's in your head he's like there's a snake in his you're like what the hell yeah i have another guy's like burn it burn it finish him step on his head oh shit bro i'm saying there is like tom h? Dude, it's like a revolving door of voices in my head. Like, I don't go longer than probably...

You have a six-shooter of voices. It's like a revolver. That's lit. Yeah. God, you're unique. I thought that was normal. Oh, my God. Let's piggyback off that.

Piggy me. You have a six-shooter. You already... Oink. You already have a Satanist. Tom Hanks? Yeah. Fill the four other chambers.

Four other voices that could be in your head. Oprah. Oprah. Yeah, you need her. She'll probably stop the nightmares. Three more. I hear my mom. Mom.

Two more. You. Me. Kenwin. Last bullet. Oh, damn. That's the... Oh, and like my imaginary future wife that she leads me through.

God would have been a great answer. God would have been a solid bullet. God would have been a decent slot. There were six spaces we left him out God's in my soul I do have this futuristic woman In my head Kind of robotic and brunette

What does she look like? She's like a light blue hue Of like transparent She's light blue? She's like a floating figure She's not really a woman She's like a sperm cell right before it gets on the egg oh my god oh my god that went from weird to what the fuck so quick she's i was about to say oh you made it

to avatar like you got an avatar woman divergent it's like the apocalyptic day it's like that and like she's like the head of the like the district and she's like floating and transparent is the bringer of death to the world as we know it that's your future wife that makes so much that'd be kind of hot that'd be kind of hot if my wife was like a dictator so if you didn't kill nobody your wife got rid of all of us but it was like 10 every single possible scenario aspect everything that you could feel from this woman was 10 out of 10 yeah like love life her responsibility her trust, her trust, the way she speaks to you, the way she acts, everything. It's the absolute perfect.

So good you can't even fathom it. But she has to wipe all your friends and family. Oh, see ya. I can't touch any of y'all like that. So all you're thinking with is your Johnson. Oh. All you're thinking with is that microphone. Well, y'all have been the ones that tell me that creating life is the most beautiful gift on earth.

Well, let me have the most beautiful gift. It is. I can't create life with y'all. You still have to have a support system. Still got to have friends. She's my support system. She's my support system. Okay.

All of us will live. That's tough. I'm just kidding. But that's BS. That's a safe scenario. Yeah. Safe her. That's, but that's BS. That's BS. That's the same scenario? Yeah. Same scenario.

It's the same one. Answer. Answer. I don't think I can find another crew of boys like this, man. I think I can win the custody battle, take my kid, and there's at least another three and a half billion women. She's gone. I don't think it's a custody battle. I think it's yours. Oh, three and a half billion women. And she's gone. I don't think it's a custody battle.

I think it's yours. Oh, she gets cleared for life. No, she's out. Oh, she gets mopped. Or we get mopped. We talked about this on Patreon. Yeah, buy Liv, honestly. Damn, Liv.

I'm kidding. Look at her. I mean, four souls versus one. We're doing the numbers. No, I would never do that. God, I don't like when you ask it back. That's not fair. That's not fair when you ask it back. No, I would never do that. God, I don't like when you ask it back. That's not fair. That's not fair when you ask it back.

No, I'd go live. But that'd be sick. That'd be sick. I couldn't do that. Just look at CJ. Look how innocent CJ was. He's not innocent. No, he's not.

He's got the sandbag. He's a boy. He's heavy duty in the lower region. He's got the... His lower back hurts. You ever tried to hold a shovel like this, and it starts to hurt the inside of your elbow? You ever tried the barbell challenge?

Oh, my God. Pick up a 45-pound barbell, and you just try to hold it like this? That's CJ every time he has to pee. That's CJ in the morning. Yeah, that's why. When CJ wakes up, he's filled. Good God. He's like a gas tank on F.

It looks like a tent's pitched. Good morning to you. It's like a pillar outside the White House. Yeah, a sandbag. Oh, my God. Mulch. Enough of CJ's lower extremities. Speaking of big... Yeah.

You say it like with a weird O. Like her O has the wiggly line. She's like... Ugh. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode of The You Should Know Podcast is brought to you by Fume. Have you heard the flavored air category

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The You Should Know Podcast. our code on screen to get a free gift with your order today now on to the rest of the episode there's an animal on this earth with a big horses oh yeah horses have monster peniles they do they do it's a fact of life conversation that's what they but that but i'm here for it the girls used to neigh when i'd walk down e-hall you know what what I mean? I'd walk by, they'd go, there's that horse boy. How do they make noise? Not a If you walk down with your back brace on and suspenders and the girls are going And you're just like this. Sorry. And you go,

sorry, I gotta go learn some chemistry real quick. And there's like... Oh my God. But I'm saying there was a lot of horses in the Hamptons when we were driving through. Beautiful. Beautiful. You know they're expensive as shit? They are.

Like for no reason, kind of? But I'm saying, the thing about horses, I think they're one of the scariest creatures to ever exist. I think we're just used to them. Yeah. I would love a mean i would love a horse though but what what's scary to you okay i mean the size that's the first thing they are massive yeah how tall are horses like six five but okay but the average horse first off that there's different breeds like everything different cars different buildings but the the average one

they're big yeah have you seen a clydesdale uh-uh those are the horses that bring the chariots around like New York oh yeah those are massive and they shit they look biblical those look like they are here to end us yeah like the four the four horsemen are coming and like ending the world those are terrifying but a regular horse is still huge massive like I say yeah they stand it like they gotta be like their thighs on those things. Six foot over. Plus. Have you seen a horse smile? It is wicked work. Bro. George Washington. Massive teeth.

Massive chomps. And they are lightning fast. Horses are fast as shit. Dude, I feel like riding a horse would be such a flex. You never ridden a horse? Never even touched one. No, I've touched a horse, but I've never straddled one. Oh, at my grandma's house, she died of cancer. She had a bunch of horses, and we'd go in there in the back, and we would ride them.

Well, she did. We'd go out there and ride the horses. Not to mention a horse's kick. A horse's kick. Bro. Oh, my God. Talk about a sweet chin music. Shawn Michaels has nothing on a horse.

Let's do this. Let me bring it to good old You Should Know podcast style. Okay. There's a million horses. Oh, my God. A million naked humans with no armor, with no weapons, nothing. One million horses or one million unarmed humans. Who is winning that war?

Horses. 100%. But you have to divvy the numbers to make it. Say a million unarmed humans and like 200,000 horses. Now there's a battle. No, no, that's easy. Now there's a battle. No, no, no, that's easy.

That's way too easy. That's probably still horses. I think you're low-key. I agree with you that horses won the million versus million, but I think you're underestimating the power of a million humans. We have the big show. We have Mark Henry. Okay, I was thinking like across the board.

We get like five, eight guys named Jim. No, no, no. Just like an average prototype. A million. Some of them might be NFL players. Some of them might be MMA fighters. If you throw a Marshawn Lynch in there, good luck, horses. That motherfucker's going to pop a Skittle and wham, run straight through him.

Oh, my God. A million? Okay. Oh, man. I can't say that. Okay, okay. A million drafted from the world. Let me say this. let me say this.

Randomly. A million humans, or a million horses versus one million pro-human athletes. Oh, the athletes. That's the... The athletes. You're still tripping. The athletes. Because at that point, they at least have evading techniques.

They have scheme. They might be naked, they might not have a rock, but they have scheme. Say we're in a coliseum. Where are you going to run an eye? That's a're in a coliseum where you're gonna run an eye that's a big ass coliseum two million creatures in it that's the world's largest enclosed thing ever to a million people and a million horses and some guys just like waving a flag he's like go two minutes that's the that's the size of a city and it's all in enclosed okay but i'm just saying a million million horses stampeding at you, there's no way you can stop it. You're going to trip them?

Is it? See, but the horses aren't, they're not led. They're not led by a general. They don't know. They're just like, go forward. They know the objective is to win. Then horses, 100%. Okay.

If it's free reigning horses, like as soon as a human comes close, they might get scared and kick and try to run. Humans have a chance. If the horses are forming a triangle formation, going straight through a beautiful, like a graceful charge, there's no shot the humans win. There's no chance. Very demure. Unless they have very demure. Very mindful.

Very mindful. Is it in the wild? Can they pick up a stone branch or a twig? The humans or the horses? The humans. No, no. No weapons. No weaponry.

Okay, I was just wondering. No shot there. I was just wondering. You got anything for me? Oh, do I? Okay, story time. Okay. I'm not going to say the restaurant because I don't want anything going to them.

You don't want no jibber-jabbers. I don't want no jibber-jabbers. It's very mindful. Very demure. Okay, me and Liv. The other day, we went house hunting. It was very hungry. It was very hungry. It was hungry. It was very hot. We were very hungry. At the end, we went through a drive-thru. We pull up

to this drive-thru. Okay. Through the speaker, I hear a woman. She goes, hold on, give me one second. And then I swear to God, this is what I hear. And I go, what the hell? And I literally ask, I asked her again, I go, did you say order when ready I'm sorry I didn't hear you she goes no no give me give me one second please there's literal dogs there's beasts and I go there's dogs inside this place I go that's not a good sign yeah it's really not a good sign I turn to live I go do you hear those dogs yeah and my windows rolled down so I'm also hearing them through the speaker but I hear them in real life I look over there's two dogs in a truck two dogs I'm like okay those are the dogs but how am I hearing them through the speaker, but I hear them in real life. I look over, there's two dogs in a truck.

Two dogs. I'm like, okay, those are the dogs. But how am I hearing them? I go, it's literally been like two minutes. I go, okay, can we order or are you ready? And she goes, no, I'm so, give me one minute. I got to go check on my dogs. Okay.

So I'm like, oh my God. So I'm starting to look at the truck and I'm still hearing it through the speaker. I swear to God, Peyton, it's like, I'm walking out. The woman walks out. She hit the dog. She slapped the dog right on top. It was like, And she literally, and it was a small little white chihuahua. She smacked it right on its head.

And she just went, whap, smacked it right on its head. And I went, oh, and I leaned back in my seat. I was like, oh, and I was like. And she's literally looking at the dog. She's like, enough, enough. And she has the headset on. She's like, you better quit it. It's in like a 2008, like a like a toyota like a little truck and i'm like oh my god so then i'm just waiting i watch her

walk back in and then all of a sudden i hear she goes sorry about that uh order whenever you ready and i was like oh kid you not order the food get to the window right right she opens the window she's sweating i go oh she's having a day and then i hear the dog again through her headset very faint though because it's not the speaker now it's like and she literally steps she goes to step like she's going back to the dog and i was like here's my money i was like i'm trying to save that i was like i was like i'll pay with card today's's card day. And she goes, okay, thank you. She goes, wait, I think I know you. And I was like, oh no. She goes, yeah, wait, no, you have a podcast, right?

With a light skin guy with curly hair. I go, yeah, that's us. And she goes, yeah, I see your clips sometimes. That's dope. That's dope. That's awesome. And I go, yeah. She goes, well, appreciate you.

Appreciate you coming out. Takes the card and closes it. And I was like, I wanted to be like, oh, you oh you know me i know you you need to stop hurting your animals i was like you you like my clips i'm friends with pita like i'm about to get on the phone she comes back out and she literally goes oh here you go sorry about that again my dog's in my truck and i i literally like you know me like the the inner karen i wanted to be like yeah why is your dog here like let's just start there why is your dog at work where your dog's sitting your dog's sitting but you're serving meals like i don't this is a strange thing i didn't say anything and then she goes uh

good god here we go again she goes oh thank you so much uh make sure y'all come back live her pregnant self just just a sprinkle on the top. She goes, oh, we'll be back alive. We're thinking about buying a house out here. And I go, great. You just told the animal hitter that we're coming. She's going to come and smack Ruby in the backyard one day. I go, you're kidding me. That's like her part-time job is smacking animals.

I immediately covered it. I was like, no, we're thinking about it. I said, it's not, nothing's certain. Nothing's concrete. We're thinking about it. On the drive off, I swear to God, we drive off, we we peel again i passed the truck that little i was like in the window and i was like oh my god but when i tell you that was the it was like that one night where we were crying laughing you couldn't get words out that's how hard i was laughing because she literally walked out in the

whole it was like gradual the whole time was like the dog like yelped that's not funny it was right like imagine Ruby's head oh no it was like this it was like don't hit your animals yeah

key takeaways don't do that but that was an experience bro we both had like crazy experiences at fast food I'll say that

I was at Chipotle so I was at Chipotle at the gym that's where me and CJ go go every day after the gym but cj was out of town at the time he went to like a wedding his family's wedding so i was at chipotle by myself right and it was one of the busy hours at chipotle where the line is long right i hate that one of you i've said this since the the conception of this podcast one of my biggest pet peeves is personal space in a line oh my god yes there is this dude in the chipotle and it's not even a funny story but you know me i'm not

piss me off i'm not a confrontational guy like i'm at all i never just like had the urge to hit somebody yeah until that day unless it's me yeah or a dog yeah just kidding. So I was in the line, and I felt something hot. I swear to God. I felt something hot on the right side of the back of my neck. And I'm like, stroke? Or somebody's too close? Stroke? Nasty breath.

Either of them are unacceptable. I turn around, and I damn near, like, say this is the dude, right? The microphone's the dude. I'm like this. I turn, and he's right here i couldn't even fully turn my head at the oh my god so i literally i was like i I literally was like, I went, oh. Like that. So he knows something.

This isn't appropriate where we're standing. God say oh. And his arms were crossed like this, and he was rocking a little bit. So if any more rock forward. One more heartbeat. It's foreplay on my neck at this point. Like, you're starting to. You're going to make me get goosebumps.

You know, like my ears getting played with. You know what I mean and so i look at so i take a step forward and now i'm in the person in front of me's personal space but then i i'm able to fully look at him and i'm i'm i'm looking at him like this i'm like yeah i kind of squint move he literally goes he goes yeah He goes, mm-hmm, yeah. I said, mm-hmm, yeah. He said, mm-hmm, yeah. What are you agreeing with? Oh, my God. What are you approving?

His mission was to make someone uncomfortable, and you just happened to be the victim. And then he gets another step. I'm saying, chicken, white rice. He's damn near, like, He can say the order with me. He knows what I'm about to say. One of you was like, he wants some beans. He said, give him some of them beans.

Yo. And he puts his hands in his pockets where his elbows are a little flared. And he's brushing. We're kissing weenuses at this point. It was the most intimate Chipotle experience I've ever had. You were just an unlucky bastard that day. He was, I'm fully convinced he was determined to ruin somebody. Yeah.

And you were the unlucky bastard that got your ticket. But then once I went to go get my plastic wear and like he was still like checking out, I could get a full look at him and then I understood because he was wearing boot cut like blue denim jeans with Reeboks tied to the brim. And I was like, no. Okay, CJ mute that. Oh, man. Oh, man. Okay, another thing.

That just reminded me. That's wicked to say. But I looked at him, and I was like, he's 26-year-old, still thinks he's in junior ROTC. I was just about to say he wants to go to ROTC, but he can't complete the push-ups. He can't complete the push-ups, so he pisses people off at Chipotle. I wanted to be in the ROTC so goddamn bad, bro.

I just want to do that one pull-up thing where you go over the bar and you fall. And then you kind of crawl under the wires. We can do that for the new thing we're doing. Like a boot camp. That's a fire idea. That's a fire idea. Oh, my God. A race.

Yeah. You'll see that announcement soon. I like your race. Yeah. Ooh. Oh, we're trying to seduce. And we're in a thong. Oh. I did a lot right there.

That was a lot. But you reminded me of something. Good morning to you. Good. You reminded me of something. Do you remember last week? Mm-hmm. Last week when we recorded.

Afterwards, I took another poo. Yes. It was a double poop. One day, two poops. Was that the runny one? Yeah. I'm kidding. You didn't have to say that. Oh, well, when we recorded. Afterwards, I took another poo. Yes. It was a double poop. One day, two poops. Was that the runny one? Yeah, I'm kidding. You didn't have to say that. Oh, well, you came in and...

You didn't have to rat me out. Sorry. Okay, but yeah, I took a runny, I took a liquid poop, okay? It was like a water gun. But anyway... And then you wipe

and the toilet paper's wet? Do you remember what I said? Oh, it's soaking. You have to like triple it up. Yeah, it's sick work. A little bit gets on your finger. A little bit yellow. Kind of like your Red Bull can.

Golly. If you're eating. Yeah, wait. Here it is. Here, it's sick work. A little bit gets on your finger. A little bit yellow. Kind of like your Red Bull can. Golly. If you're eating. Wait, here it is. Here's the poop. So, remember how I told you there was another guy in the bathroom? This is the first time in my life I've experienced a self motivating pooper.

I go to the third stall, the bigger one. I sit down. You already know me. I'm like Clash Royale. I'm just waiting. Oh no, get the scarmy. The guy comes. I sit down. You already know me. I'm like Clash Royale. I'm just waiting. Oh no, get this car me. This guy comes in. He's whistling. Gets in the first stall.

So there's a stall of space in between us. I shit you not. I am not making this up. This man is whispering to himself to try to reach completion. He literally is on the toilet like this. This is all I could hear. He was like, oh, come on the toilet like this. This is all I could hear. He was like, oh, come on, you got it.

He said, like, I'm not kidding. He was like, come on. Come on. And I was like, oh my God, I wanted to record so bad,

but I was like, I can't even say that I record. Like, that'd been awful. But that, you can't. I low-key feel him. But that's in a bad, what? I low-key feel him.

CJ knows how he's gone. But so we, like I said, we go to Chipotle after the gym every time. I got a bad batch of Chipotle. You ever had one of those bad batches of Chipotle? Oh, it's a climb scene. It turns your stomach into a inferno? Oh, yeah. I shit – CJ can attest to this.

Like 13 times within a span of like 45 minutes. I couldn't stay downstairs with him long enough. That Chipotle like popped a stitch or something. No, it was so – and you ever got one of – You know when you go back to the pod so many times, your morale starts to go down? Oh, yeah. And you're like, hey, God? Yeah, like, what's...

Is it my time? Just take it. And it starts to burn a little bit? Oh, but not a little. My shit is like a habanero pepper. There was a point... There was a point where I de-shirted. I took my shirt off and I was biting onto it.

I've never been that far. I've never been that deep. You were biting... You were getting a tourn I de-shirted. I took my shirt off and I was biting onto it. I've never been that far. I've never been that deep. You were getting a tourniquet for your ass. You had to bite onto something because it hurt that bad. Dog, it was like I was getting a tattoo in my sphincter. You ever had a hot needle on your asshole? Never. Golly.

Okay. It was like the Kool-Aid man came bursting out. You know what I mean? Good morning to you. How are we feeling? My mind went straight to actually imagining you getting a tattoo. You're like... Oh, street stunts.

And you're just sitting there. And they're like, you said you wanted a dartboard, right? Bullseye, right? I'll be fired tattooed. He'd be like, oh! Oh! No, but it gets to the point when you're wiping, it starts to feel like Wolverine's giving you a colonoscopy. And so I was like, I swear to God, one tear came out of the eye and I started drooling.

It was a bad shit experience. A tear came out and you were drooling while biting onto linen while sweating yeah my gums were bleeding gums bleeding 13th trip within an hour gums were bleeding from biting too hard i think that i think you ate cursed meat like it wasn't bad it was cursed like a witch came in the back door and was like and like that meat right there was determined to kill something dude but you made it through because you have god on your side every time i do every good morning and speaking of it looks like i have monkey pox how many mosquito bites i have good gracious a bunch of freebies maybe a little two dollar can of off next time that next time you gave me 20 shampoo and conditioner i need some bugs

frothers we can't get a little bit of cold press frother but i can't get a bug spray but uh speaking of weird bathroom experiences i was the only time i'll use a public bathroom is if i'm urinating even if i have to like defecate bad i'll poop on myself before i poop in public i can't do it that's an uh you that's an honorable man but you're disgusting i don't like my sphincter being open around strangers i don't mind you know what i mean well because you you like to play a game we don't all play here we go like where's waldo here you go so i was talking to him toothless so i was peeing in the urinal right and it was a packed urinal well sorry i i deholstered i unholstered i said so i was peeing i was peeing in the urinal right right? And I was going, and all the urinals were filled up. Oh.

You all ready? I laughed while I was swallowing. It was a horrible mixture. It's okay. So you're peeing. I'm peeing, right? I'm peeing. I'm like, come on, man.

I'm like, I got to get it out. And so I almost shit myself doing that opened up and you know normally in a guy's restroom there's not a lot of lines for urinals often no but this time there was but normally you just wait off by the sink and you peek and you see when one dude gets out you go there's a dude like it's it's old people and I'm not gonna like we gotta start doing tests no they need to we gotta start doing tests when the census comes they should hand them like a 20 question pamphlet yeah it's like this is if you can rejoin society exactly you know what i mean if you have to stay in your house there's an old man cowboy cowboy

he's waiting in line like we're at chipotle he gets right behind me like claiming this urinal i'm like you don't even know where i'm at duration-wise on this piss. Like, these other stalls. Just wait over there. Exactly. And he had one of those big belt buckles, and I heard it unlatched. He's like, I said, yeah! You said, I'm recording! I'm recording! Yo, get back, John Wayne!

I said, you can't have it! You can't have it! I'm not your rich hand Yo I'm saying bro He was like unbuckling his belt Like waiting right behind me It's like what am I supposed to do When I have to leave I go like this

I'm like Like you're gonna like Jar him off you You're like You just try to book it Okay Alright I have something.

Go ahead. Oh, what were you going to say? Go, go. No, no. Mine was nasty. You go ahead. Oh, go. I like nasty.

No, I was just going to say, like. I like freak fests. Like, if we had to, like, we're in the middle of a deserted island, right? And we had, we both had to poop, like, bad, like, diarrhea. We're sick. Like, it's about to just fall out of you. But we both have it. And there's only one toilet.

Oh, I'll shit in the bush. I'll use a palm tree. No, but you have to shit in this toilet. Would you but we both have it and there's only one toilet oh i'll shit in the bush i'll use a palm tree no but you have to shit in this toilet would you one cheek it with me would you one shake that porcelain throne with daddy how would you even go about one cheek in a shit you aim aim my asshole i have to aim what am i leaning off the side? I'm like. You've never done that? You have. You've one-cheeked.

For no reason. I've never one-cheeked. Let's talk about that one. I've never one-cheeked, but sometimes the canal isn't a straight river. You know what I mean? Sometimes you got to point and really need and push. I have clean colons. Yeah, you have a diseased colon. The most I've ever had to do is take a big, deep breath and push hard.

Like, I've had to go, ah, get on my tippy toes. And then it's Red Riding Hood. It is bad. Bleeding? You're bleeding? Bleeding. It looked like that beef jerky package. Bleeding.

It looked like a gunshot. It wasn't a scratch. It looked like something inside, like, popped. Bleeding. It looked like the K on. It wasn't a scratch. It looked like something inside popped. Bleeding. It looked like the K on your shirt. Bleeding. The whole paper towel was pure red. That's so gross, bro.

Are you okay? My finger got shot off. That's what I'm saying. Sometimes when I poop, I feel like I have a hemorrhoid. I definitely had a hernia or a hemorrhoid. I feel like I haven't really looked at my winking spot. I've never bent over and said, how are you doing back there? I've never looked.

How's it going, Toothless? But if I did, I feel like it would look like a chewed up piece of bubble gum. I feel like it would look like a baboon. Yours would look like a bubble gum that was dropped in a barber shop. It's just hair. What if you threw a pistachio to your ass? Like, are you hungry, Toothless? It's like this. You take the shell off. It's like a vacuum. What if you threw a pistachio to your ass? In a kitchen? Are you hungry to this? It starts.

It's like this. You take the shell off. It's like a vacuum. It's like. It's like. It's like a. You have an asshole tongue. It's like a.

You got a Geico ass or a Gecko ass. It's like. It tastes like... We got Mama Liv on a podcast! Such a, like, a mom move I just did. What'd you do? She went... Oh, Lord. She's turning old.

She's getting into her mother's zone that was bad that was very bad give the people an update on on on your on your baby i am 18 weeks i'll be 19 weeks wait no i won't i'll still be 18 weeks when this comes out so yeah he's cooking he's cooking real good he's in there oh my god she just like gained 10 years of life i had it i had like a daydream and like i was looking at cam and i know what your kid's gonna look like please tell me because i've been he's like a he's like a white needs more on the white side but he's got like he's got that little he's got the little thing in him or you could tell he's got a little something in him a little something

but he's got like loose curls he had like he was more like six years old when i was picturing him he had loose curls are were down to the shoulder. Light blue eyes. Okay, light blue eyes, I'll take that. Loose curls. He just described him like a little girl. No, no. Curls down to the shoulder?

Yeah, but like... See, I'm not that mom that's like... Long hair? I don't know. I want a short, clean cut. I had long hair. You can still have your curls, but I don't want people who are like, Oh, your daughter's so cute.

Oh, I got that all the time. And I'm going to have to be like, like sorry it's actually a boy yeah my whenever i was playing like uh like pop warner sports like soccer and i was nice because i was bigger than everybody and i was playing my age yeah and like i would be like just i was just naturally faster and bigger than everybody yeah and so the other team's parents would be like stop her get that girl and my mom my mom would be like that's a boy and if it was a girl she whooping y'all kids ass and i'd be like all righty and you're just like let's go let's go running around uh it was my no your long hair

was your long hair was cute like why she smell like that and a lot of parents don't what's that smell their kids hair yet because they don't think the curls are going to come back yeah so that's probably why a lot of parents hold on to like that long hair phase yeah they're like if we cut it it's not gonna grow back yet bro what's up what's in what's an appropriate age for the kid's first haircut you're asking me y'all are the ones about the bear child yeah i don't i don't know either it's kind of just up to the parents some parents don't cut their kids hair till they go to their first day of kindergarten are y'all gonna give like what are y'all gonna give y'all's kids a nice haircut, like a Brooks the Barber haircut? Oh, yeah.

Is that too much? Cameron didn't have that. He went to freaking sports clips. I think every boy did. I mean, yeah. I think that's easiest. Here's 12 bucks. Take it off.

Yeah. I didn't get a fade until I was like 13. No. Gabe and Deshawn are traumatized from that, from their first barber. They was walking around. Looking back, they're like, what did he do to us? And that's just what they knew at the time. My dad didn't know any better, neither did Jessica,

but our kids don't have a fresh cut. That's one thing. We're not going out the house looking. Did you hear what she said, though? What? Some parents don't cut their kids' hair until their first day of kindergarten. I don't know what that means. I don't know what age you are.

Imagine not getting a haircut for five years. That's long hair. That's long, like, that's... You have to think of, like, some boys or girls. Well, okay, but speaking of,

speaking of, like, families and stuff like that, I'm glad we brought that up. I would like to consider us, our friend group, a big happy family. Very big happy family. We are.

We're real close. Lots of love. Now, y'all confused me last time Liv was on here because i had that same sentiment and i asked if i could propose y'all's wedding and y'all shut that down immediately i said yes very quick appreciate that group on and a lot of people on the internet were like that can't happen yeah they agreed with me but you know hypothetical let's not bring y'all's real family into it i'm here for it i'm a single man you oh right oh very oh well we didn't have to put the very on it i appreciate that i'm a single man i'm a good looking man oh some may say very good looking you exude love i'm a successful man yes

yes and i'm a good man yes what the what is that i'm kidding yes very good i'm a good man. Yes. What the fuck? What is that? I'm kidding. Yes. Very good. I'm a good... So... Great lover. Some may say... What? You're a great lover. You've seen the stroke.

There we go. Some may... You might not want to say that after I say this. Yeah. Okay. Some may say I'm a catch. Oh, you're like a 2,000 pound tuna. The whole package, Payton.

Thank you so much. The whole package and an extra package. Good morning to you. Can you just like not... I start like panting. I'm like. Sorry. With that being said, I appreciate all that sentiment.

Let's say y'all have siblings, right? Of the women gender. We do. But let's not bring you real into it. Let's say y'all have. Oh, my God. I know what you're doing. Let's say y'all have siblings of the women gender around my age.

Oh, my God. Let's say. Would y'all let me date and or bed y'all's relatives? Yep. Yes. Why are you wanting these different answers? Because he is a boy, so he's like, okay, I got to, you know, do something with my guy. Like, bros over, I guess, sisters at this point?

No. Because I know you. I know you're the whole package. But I still know that side of you. So it would never work. Oh, the dark side of the moon. What are you speaking of? What side?

I'm a gentle lover. Very gentle. But you're also a, can I say that? A heartbreaker? Am I a heartbreaker? Oh, oh, that's not fair. Am I a heartbreaker? Oh, that's that's not fair. I am a heartbreaker. Oh, that's not fair.

He can be. He can be. Oh, no, no. That's just realistic. No, it's not. You want the realistic. The realistic is he is a fantastic catch. Yes.

And he might not want to put himself in a relationship. He might not want that next step, but the woman is head over heels, hence the heartbreak. I let them know early, though. That's not from his doing. I let them know early. I know early i say hey before we do anything we're not going to date because i'm not ready for that exactly so that's not from his doing i know your past i would i would bring it in with open that was a demon it's just like imagine sitting down having like dinner and payton's like we're eating like a pot pie he's like smooches your sister yeah like like i go over to your like your family's house and i'm like what's up baby i grab oh my dad would probably smack the shit out of you

oh my god that's strange okay oh my god because he could actually come on family trips like he would actually be family like you're family now but dude and then i'll be like do anything about it yeah like at nighttime i'll be like all right, I'm going in our room with your sister. See ya. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't know how you're going to lie. It is kind of weird that you're like, yeah, I'm not going to lie in my mind. It's 100% live sister. Like my, like my sister's got, it has to be hers. It has to be hers.

No, I'm saying, no, we're talking about you now. No, not your actual sister. I'm not saying me. We're saying hypothetical. Hypothetical, like siblings that don't exist. No. And they're around the same age as me. Why, Cam?

You know me. You've seen my naked body. Because the thing, okay, great body. Yeah, and you don't want to bless your family members with that? Lengthy body. Like a naked cricket. Like we would be attached to you forever. Not saying that's bad, but I'm just like, every time I'm like,

can I come over for dinner tonight? I'd be like, yeah, he is. I'd go, make his plate real weird, though. He doesn't eat much. I'd go, don't put the cheese, don't put the pasta, just keep the beef. No, but I am surprised at you being so okay with that, because you know me better than anybody. The whole time in my mind, I was assuming her hypothetical.

If it was my hypothetical, I would understand that she's going for a good man. She's going for a man with a whole package and an extra package. Good morning. But, I would probably say no for the sake of my relationship with my sister. Why? Why? What? Because no matter if it goes south, no matter how it goes south,

no matter what happened, I would always be friends with you. I mean, even if you cheated on my sister or something like that. I would never. I don't see you doing that either. That's not in your DNA. But if something like that happened, I would always be friends with you. I mean, even if you cheated on my sister or something like that. I would never. I don't see you doing that either. That's not in your DNA. But if something like that happened, that'd be really tough, but I'd have to like,

that'd put me in an awful crossroads. How? What if it's your sister's fault? If it's my sister's fault, did that put me in a weird crossroads? It's family first? No, I just, if my sister cheated on you,

I'd be like, mm. Oh my God. That's sick work. Wow. If my sister cheated on you, I'd be like, mm. Oh, my God. That's sick work. Wow. That's sick work. That shows the mind. I'm like, what was he not doing?

Oh. What was he not doing? No, she's toxic. No, that's super toxic. That's toxic. If my sister cheated on you, I'd be like, I don't even know you. I'd be like, that's Peyton. That's my Peyton.

Okay, but imagine, how would y'all genuinely, let's take, like you would say it was real life. Like, let's go to real life. Her sister. No, no, both of y'all. Stop trying to take it off. Yeah, Cameron. Real life. We're going to go one at a time.

I'm going to go you first, Cameron. I'm going to go you first. No. This is whenever, I've been secretly shebanging with your family. You've been party rocking all night long, knocking the boots. You know what I mean? I've been murky all night long knocking the boots you know what i mean i i've been i've been i've murky waters oh with your family oh you know we've been gone we've on we've gone on some good some good dates does anyone else have an inkling or am i just blind or does no one know

no one knows okay no one knows but but i've but you can stomach's hurting so say i come up to you one day cam you're at my house we're drinking right we're just having a little fun i'm like hey cam little scotch like dead ass like cam let me talk to you bro day, Cam, you're at my house, we're drinking, right? We're just having a little fun. I'm like, hey, Cam. A little scotch on the rocks. Like, dead ass. Like, Cam, let me talk to you, bro. Yeah, what's up, bro? Hey, man. I got something to tell you.

Oh, God. I don't. That sounds weird. All right. You can tell me anything. I got them here for you. I love you, brother. You know that.

You love me? Yeah, 100%. You're scaring me. Nothing can break us apart. You're really scaring me now. I'm being hard. I've known your family for a long time. You have. And I've been around your family a long time. You have. Andaring me now. I'm getting hot. I've known your family for a long time. You have.

And I've been around your family a long time. You have. And I love them. Did you emancipate Ruby? That's my first question. Did you take her to the court of law? Is she now belonging to you? Did you take my dog from me?

I didn't take your dog, no. Okay, good. I really love your family. They really love me. And we've gotten close through the years. And through those times, me and your sister, we've gotten close through the years um and through that those times me and your sister uh we've gotten really close uh i just want to let you know we've been together for the past month um and i just kind of can't hide anymore because i want our love to go public

my sister yeah your sister when did you why did you never bring this up to me why did you never because hiding it made it a little sexy, but then it got serious. I don't care. You got to think about me. You knew me before my sister. You got to think about my feelings. I know you're on a different level, though. It's different.

Yeah, you know me on a different level, too. Do you want to protect me? Why did you lie to me this whole time? I'm not necessarily mad at the outcome, but I'm mad at the circumstance. You would get on me like that? This is is realistic you would why would you do that i'd say well do you actually like her i'd be was it a drunken night mistake or do you actually like no it's been a month what do you like about her oh my god you better watch it boy don't you clench that jaw. I'd have been like, well, y'all are definitely related. I see a lot of you in her. See, oh, no.

Yeah, that's wicked. If you're bedding my sister, would you see my facial expressions pop up? Oh, my God. Oh, shit. You're in the middle of lovemaking. You see one of these. It's like, ooh. You're sitting there. It's just going good. you look up and it's like, it's me.

Okay, this is getting too, too like... I'm like, don't forget recording tomorrow. Yo, so you try to get on me? Like that you'd like press me? It'd be like a respectful press, because I'd want to make sure you're not just, like, messing around. Well, it started off as messing around. That's what I'm saying. But if it started off as messing around and it's still messing around,

I would want you to debt it. I would demand that you debt it. Why? No, no. Because you don't get to mess around with my sister. It's two adults. You don't get to mess around. It's two adults.

It's my sister. You don't get to mess around with her. It's two adults. And I would have the same conversation with her. You don't get to mess around with my best friend. Do we have different lives? No. I don't care. You don't get to mess around. It's two adults. It's my sister. You don't get to mess around with her. It's two adults. And I would have the same conversation with her. You don't get to mess around with my best friend. We have different lives. No, I don't care. You don't get to mess around.

If y'all like each other, I'm a- Why can't two consenting adults mess around? Because that's strange. How, Cam? Because you are both connected to me deeply from different routes. So you're being selfish. No. You don't control our lives.

In this, I will. If it's messing around- If y'all are literally like, hey, I got nothing to do. Pull up. like so so you're being selfish no you don't control our lives no yeah in this i will if it's messing around if y'all are literally like hey i got nothing to do pull up no yeah no i'm gonna shoot the tires out she's not getting there all right cam that's messed up no it's not if you like her and she likes you holy matrimony i'm in both your corners okay if it's ah because at this point because it's it's more strange because you said we're like family right yeah and it's, ah, because at this point, because it's more strange, because you said we're like family, right? Yeah. And it's only been happening for a month, right? Yeah.

So it's like you're sleeping with your sister. If we're like family, it's like you're sleeping with your sister. No. That you've known and loved our family for years on years. No. Got your ass. If you like her, it's one thing. If you're messing around, it's strange.

It's strange and horny. Get him, get him, get him. It's strange and there's a lot of pheromones. Okay, okay, okay, Cam, but let's take it down to the basic science sex with sister basic science creepy pheromones that's same that's basic no basic is we're two adults that are attracted to each other we both don't want anything we're just messing around and we happen i have to be your best friend it's not my fault happens to be my blood sister it's not our fault i'm a dead in the world reversed i'll be like hey bro i got a spare room i'm gonna go crazy dog no you

wouldn't all right ask live i don't have a sister so i don't know but i feel like i would like i don't care we'll play the same thing with live go live i've been me and your sister have been banging for a little bit me and your sister i've been i've been getting quite close if you know what i mean but we don't want anything serious i just want to let you know we've been getting quite close, if you know what I mean. But we don't want anything serious. I just want to let you know we've been doing this behind your back for about a month. It's dead. Y'all are dead. You're not talking to my sister anymore.

No more conversating. It's over with. I'm making that decision for the both of you. Okay, but say we're both in agreeance that we don't want anything. I know what your past is, like I said before, and I know how you – God, she's a villain. No, but – You know what i would do because i'm toxic i would just put so many things in her ear like oh no

he ain't shit you better run that's a hell friend well i'm sister too that's a hard but but we're too we're both happy with instagram dms you just make shit up and like we're but we're both happy of the situation that we're in we don't want anything from each other we just like the way we just like this that's all we want we just want this

and if someone gets attached then whose feelings are hurt but it's not my fault if they get attached because we both agreed at the beginning but that's what we're trying to avoid that's what we're

yep so it's not my fault get the clans a mess oh my god and you get to walk away We both agreed at the beginning. That's what we're trying to avoid. So it's not my fault. You're the one that's got the clans amassed. Oh my God. Finish him. And you get to walk away all happy and go do that with the next freaking girl. Finish him. We're happy to hold our sister while they're crying in bed thinking of you.

Well, it's not my fault. Your sister can't. Because I can see you on your screen every week. It's not my fault. Y'all sisters can't control their emotions because we agreed before that nothing serious is going to happen. Oh, that's such a clump of things. It's not my fault. It's true. I did all emotions because we agreed before that nothing serious is gonna happen. Oh, that's such a clump of things! It's not my fault! It's true!

I did all I can! I'm gonna throw my shoe at you. What? What are you like, it's not my fault your sister can't handle the rod. It's not my fault she can't strap into the roller coaster. Okay, okay, okay, let's take it one step further and we'll get off this. Oh god. I kinda like this. Say it! Knock on- God, knock- find me some wood, hand me that.

Oh no, don't be insane. Hand me that. Hand me that. Hand me that. Hand me that. Hand me it. Knock on wood. Say, y'all having a kid, right? Oh, no. No, no.

I always do that. Sorry. No, it's fine. Wait, why y'all getting like all, y'all don't even know what I'm going to say. Because that's weird. You're a grandparent. It'd kind of be like. My parents are going to be like your kids' grandparents

and that's just weird. That is weird. Like my mom is going to be like your kid's grandma and my dad like your kid's going to call my kid the same name.

What? Stop laughing. Like my kid that's my kid's grandparents not yours. Live it spirally. That's my kid's grandparents, not yours. Live it spirally. That's pregnancy brain. Your arm's wet.

I know it is. That's not even what I was saying. Oh, what are you saying? Y'all are about to have a kid, right? Uh-huh. Y'all are about to have a kid. Let's say, God forbid, I have a kid at the same time y'all do. See?

No! That's my moment! No, not that now let's just say like a year or two later i have a kid a year or two okay your kid's two years older than my kid okay kids are in high school would you allow it's a big jump your kid to date my kid that is no it's not with our sister get out of the sticks we're in real life oh i'm sorry we have malachi a year later my pregnancy brain okay so y'all have we have malachi a year later he has a little girl right and now they're boom they're 16 and 15 they're going into junior

and sophomore year we don't let our kids strange no date? It's really strange. No, because that would affect our... It'd be weird because... It'd be so hard. I probably wouldn't, bro. Y'all tripping, bro. But look, but look. For a cool, like, a movie plot twist, like a story, because they're going to grow up together.

They are. They would be in-laws. But that's the part, but that's the part that's kind of strange. No one stays together in high school. Because they're going to grow up together. It's like they're going to be with each other from kindergarten to middle school

to elementary to middle to junior high to high school. Like, they're going to be locked in damn near like... They're going to call each other cousin, bro. Like, they're gonna be with each other from kindergarten to middle school to elementary to middle to junior high to high school Like they're gonna be locked in damn near like they're gonna call each other cousin, bro Like they're gonna be cousins. That is true. They can call each other whatever they want exactly legality Low key see it though. You know me as the mom. I'm like, oh I would probably like like it like let's go to the movies Let's go on dates. I would probably like it. One late night. One late night. Your freaking daughter breaks my son's heart? That's her ass. My kid's got to be in a heartbreak. One late night. Come on now.

One late night. Four locos at a campfire. Cameron! I'm building the plot. Building the movie plot. They start looking at each other like, you know, we've been, you know, we've grown.

We've seen each other. We've seen everything. That's natural. Our kid is piping your daughter. That's a strange thing to say. Well. Strange, strange ass thing. How does that make you feel, Peyton?

Well, that wouldn't happen. Oh. What? That wouldn't happen. Why? Now watch this. Watch this. Okay, okay.

Roll the verse. You have the boy. We have the daughter. Oh, yeah. Exactly. Go crazy. At your house, Malachi is in your little game room or bedroom piping Susie Salmon.

Stop, stop. Yeah, that's sick. I need Peyton to have a daughter. Oh, my God. You're going to be the best. No, you're going to be the best daughter, Dad. I know. I'll be a great dad, but I'll be too protective almost to a fault.

You'll probably be in jail. I'll probably have to bail you out. Yeah. I need to start keeping cash on him. Well, that's – y'all are so selfish, bro. You're so selfish. I see the vision both ways. I like the dope, the brother, the family vision,

but also I'm kind of trying to protect all parties. I'm going to date your sister. Whose? Can't be mine. Can't be mine. You wouldn't let me? No. Why?

I'm a good man. You know I'm a good man. You Why? I'm a good man. You know I'm a good man. You are. I'm a good man. Liv, you're just saying that because it's your sister. Exactly. It's more of just a protective layer. Protect from what?

Because I would get too excited. My feelings would be involved. And if you did something stupid, our friendship's over. But if she did something stupid. Exactly. But you've seen any relationship I've been in. I'm a great boyfriend. Fantastic boyfriend.

I'm a great boyfriend. He treats me like a queen queen and now there's more writing on it because our friendship is you have to give him that when he's a great boyfriend i i will give him a grade resume boyfriend resume just what the hell did she just say i'll give him a great boyfriend resume i said grade a boyfriend resume never Never said the A. Yes, I did. No, I'm not going to lie, Liv. You didn't say that. No, you didn't say that. You didn't.

It's pregnancy brain. You check all the boxes. I will give you that. All the boxes and more. Is it just like the fact that it's your sister and there's a lot right? Yeah, because I'm protective. That's crazy. Okay, you should have.

If it was Liv's sister, go for it. I'm like, go for it. If you actually had a roof over it. Family trip. Let's go to Barbados. I'd be a great. I would love if he liked actually had a roof over it. Family trip, let's go to Barbados. I'd be a great. I would low key like it. On the lowest, lowest of keys.

You'd be shot. Let's go. Still, still. Holy matrimony at the end of the day. Let's make it happen. No, no, no, no. Don't be having babies when my kids have babies. I'm kidding.

What? Oh, no, it's actually impossible. I couldn't. Well, it's not impossible. I could, but. A vasectomy. It's impossible. I wanted to get a's actually impossible. I couldn't. Well, it's not impossible. I could, but... A vasectomy? It's impossible. I wanted to get a vasectomy when I was 18.

My mom didn't let me. Cameron's getting one. You wanted a vasectomy... At 18. ...before you even took a single semester of college? Because I wanted to just plant my seed and not worry about a thing. Just drizzle it all around the world. Because I didn't...

I just didn't want... I always knew I was like... Especially younger, I was like, I don't want kids. Like, I never want kids. You're like, I want a lot of sex, I just didn't want, I always knew I was like, especially younger, I was like, I don't want kids. Like, I never want to have kids. You're like, I want a lot of sex, but I don't want offspring. Alright, guys. Speaking of our relationships, let's help a relationship out. Let's bring in the world's best love doctor.

Bring me in. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! There's no B on that last part. Dr. P.

Bring it, sir. What do we got? Secretary Damwit. Let's find it, Lord. All right, here we go. Oh, intro, intro. You're co-doctor pilot for today's. Oh, we have Secretary S. Oh, Secretary S.

Who the f*** is S? Secretary S. It's the woman secretary. Wouldn't she be like Secretary O? Secretary Olivia? Secretary Olivia? No, like the title's a Terry S. Oh, the secondary secretary.

Like I'm the S to your secretary. Yeah, you're the Terry. She's a terrorist. She's a terrorist. She's a terrorist. I'm just a Secretary 2. Yeah, you're the Terry. She's a terrorist. She's a terrorist. She's a terrorist. I'm just a secretary 2.0. Here we go. Dear Dr. P.

Hello. My girlfriend left me for a guy in my friend group. Damn. I've recently been doing things to break them up. And the other day I got so close to doing it, but then they figured things out and were good. Oh, you're trash. The guy had been telling people about some things that she said that are insane.

I used that against them and almost got them broken up. They need a dictionary. My question is, should I keep doing what I'm doing or just move on entirely? Hey, brother, let me say this. It was a great move. First of all, I'm not kidding. You're not trash. But I mean, your execution was bad.

You just said, I'm not kidding. You're not trash. Oh, I'm not kidding. You're, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. You're not trash. But, I mean, your execution was bad. You just said I'm not kidding. You're not trash. Oh, I'm not kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. You're not trash. There we go. Your execution was bad on the breakup part because it's easy to get people broken up.

Oh. If you listen to Dr. P. But since you've tried already, you should have consulted Dr. P before you went out in the field. Agreed. Always come to Dr. P before you try anything. Because now you're asking Dr. P, how do I clean up my mess? And then continue on with the rest of my plot. Since you tried, they caught you and continued to shebang on your grave.

Rough, rough times. You might just have to be ready to start buying diapers and stuff for the nursery you know what i mean because you're first of all it's not your best friend let's put that out there if your best friend or your somebody your friend group is shebanging your ex because let me put some salt in the wound they were thinking about unclothing each other while y'all are all together oh man let me just that out there. He was thinking about what's the color of that areola. Oh. That's a fact.

That's what they were doing. Is it dime size or is she rocking salami? And I love both. Hello. Dr. P does. Do you just sniff her breasts? I just looked at it and sniffed. Like an aggressive dog.

I'm saying, bro, at that point, you gotta take the L. Now, if you would've added, my friend has a sister that's our age. My ex has a friend, or a sister that's our age. Or you start going after their friends. You just have to start shooting,

and shooting, and shooting. But you shoot at a respectable range. You don't go up there and be like, give me it. I want it. Give me all of you. Pull up middies. Yeah, you know what I mean?

You have to go in there and plant a seed. You got to be the best gardener ever. You got to be Martha Stewart in Martha's Vineyard. You know what I mean? You have to go in there with a sack of seeds, plant it right there, and you just plant. Then you come back a week later, two weeks later, a little water. A little water.

Then you'll see that first stem start to grow. then you know i'm about to have a lemon tree put some limon on it put some limon on and you slowly work and then you pay them no attention you pay those two those two rats that broke your heart no attention and you just you're giving all your attention to these other people their friends their sisters whatever and then they're gonna start seeing damn they're not paying attention to me but they're giving all that love over there where's my friend he didn't invite me on here where's my ex he's not giving me no text or no attention or liking my instagram stories or stalking my page and then that attraction will start to build that's your only way you can do it until then they are doing

the harlem shake on your grave butt naked oiled up and you got to sit there and smell it. Oh. And that was... Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! If you want to be in the next Dr. P, comment right now below. Here we go.

Dr. P submissions are taken from the YouTube comments. One more time for Mama Liv joining the podcast this episode. Thank you so much, my dear lover of mine. Oh, hit that dance. Hit that dance. And my other lovers, all of you, thank you so much. Coming back, episode 127. We'll see you again next week.

But before we get out of here, once again, you see the merch. It is in the drop-down menu below under the episode. It's the first link in the description, and you have one week to grab it. After next Monday, it is gone forever, never coming back. One week to get this amazing shirt and the beautiful hoodie. September 2nd is whenever it's gone. September 2nd is the deadline. We have confirmation from Uncle P himself.

Go get your merch. Go tag us in everything, in pictures, videos, when you get it. Show us your beautiful selves rocking the merch. And we absolutely love y'all. So confuse the casuals. Get your good karma. Leave this code on everywhere. Leave it in Patreon, Facebook, Twitch streams, Discord, in the YouTube comments, Instagram.

Leave it everywhere. This week's code is... M-Y-S. Marry your sister. God, you got it quick, boy. Turn me up, boy. Good one. Marry your sister.

I can't do it. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. My voice is gone. But marry your sister, M-Y-S. Leave it everywhere. We'll see you next week on episode 128. My voice is gone. But marry your sister, M.Y.S. Leave it everywhere. We'll see you next week on episode 128.

Hit that subscribe button. Share this with your friends. Remember, we're one out of ten Claude Bears. Don't make it home to Christmas, and we will see you next time. And hopefully, you're rocking the new merch. Merch, merch gang. Goodbye.