You'll Hear It: Full Album Deep Dives with Jazz Musicians - Funniest / Worst Gig Stories Part 2 - #82

Episode Date: April 21, 2018

Today, Part 2 of our funniest / worst gig stories. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This is Adam Manus. And I'm Peter Martin. And you're listening to the You'll Hear at podcast. Daily Jazz Advice coming at you. Today we're going to do part two of our funny, worst gig stories from the road. Well, they didn't start out from the road, but they went to the road. Yeah, now I'd like to reiterate that we should do this anonymously. I firmly believe in that we're going to get in trouble.

We are. I'm just saying. We are. This is totally anonymous. So let me tell you about my Jane Monheist. I'm not kidding. Okay, so you finished yesterday, and I would just say, normally you can pick this podcast up any day. We do it every day, quality level, variable from low to average.

But in this case, I'm going to say, you know, jump back to yesterday. If you miss part on, oh, well, we finished in Italy, so Uno, El Parto Uno, then you might want to check that one out. Wait, isn't it Un Cafe, Duet, Duay? Duay. Dupeo. I never bothered to learn. Yeah. So we finished in Italy, southern Italy, and that was a beautiful story you told. Thank you. Yesterday.

And that reminded me of one of my favorite road stories, kind of funny giggling stories from Sicily, which coincidentally was the same agent as I believe your story. I'm not sure. The way you describe it, I don't want to name names, but it seems similar to me. There's so many stories from this agent. So many stories from this gentleman, air quotes, over gentlemen. But I did a gig with Christian McBride in his Inside Straight group. This was actually years ago.

I think it was our first European tour. And we started in Sicily, in Palermo, which is a great place to start. It's awesome. The way we did it, though, we were kind of like flying in from New York, arriving in the afternoon with a gig that night. So it was a little bit hectic. And I think we got to Rome and we're transferring, you know, flying like New York to Rome. And we're going to transfer Rome to Palermo.

and the way the lines are, when you have to transfer terminals, got a little funky, and I sort of butted the line and McBride and the rest of the group are like, I can't believe you're being such an ugly American budding up to the front,

but I'm like, we're not going to make it otherwise, so they're all sneering at me. So I'm the only one who makes the connection to plan, you know, I'm trying to get the plane to wait. No, the other guys are coming, they wouldn't wait. They won't do it. So we get there,

they're going to come on the flight in an hour later. So I said, okay, so I get to the airport in Palermo. And it's such a beautiful, funny thing that will happen. It can only happen in Italy. I get there. There's nobody there to pick up.

So I'm like, oh, maybe I'll go. I guess maybe he's coming when the next flight comes. So I kind of go over to the little cafe there and have an espresso to kind of come to life. Just some of the best coffee you can imagine for one euro. Like at the airport. Yeah, totally. I'm sitting there. And so this guy comes up, he's like, Peter, hello, you know.

And how was that for Italian accent before I go on? It was good. It was okay. Okay. I can do better. Peter, how are you? All right, well, let's not get offensive. So I was like, hey, he's like, oh, I'm such a big fan.

I was like, oh, thanks. And he's like, yeah, what are you doing here? I mean, at first, he's talking, I'm thinking he's picking me up. And then he's like, what are you doing? I said, we're doing a gig. He's like, oh, that's right at the such and such, the outdoor stage. And he's like, hey, I'll drive you if you want. And so it was still unclear.

I'm like, I have a coffee and a smoke with you first, and then we'll drive, you know. And so, but I still wasn't sure. Then I was like, oh, no, he is here to pick me up. Okay, why else would he be here and he'd know me? You know? Sure. So we get in his little fiat and drive and we're talking on the way into town to the hotel. And then I realized he actually just flew in.

He's like, yeah, I'm just getting back from Milan doing a gig myself. He just happened. He's like a piano player that happened to know me and just sort of saw me at the airport sitting there waiting. He's like, I'll give you a right. Because then he's like, where are you staying? I was like, I don't know. And he's like, I think I know where you might be staying. We'll go to a couple play.

He's like, we're going to find it, don't work. So we're driving, like, from hotel to hotel. He's sort of asking if I'm checked in. And I don't have an itiner. I don't know what's going. So we finally kind of find the hotel. And I go, we do the gig, McBride and they get in later. And we actually had a really good time.

Amazing thing. You know, great gig. No acid trip with the promoter, though. We missed that. Yeah. Full key of strings of piano keys, everything operation. Well, that's easy. Yeah.

Nice gig. Incredible meal afterwards. The next day we're flying. out and this infamous promoter, you know, our flights like at, you know, like 10 o'clock or something from Palermo, we're going back to Italy. Notice that's a little inside thing, back to Italy, because, you know, you're Sicily. You're not really in Italy. Right.

You're in another country. So he's supposed to pick us up at like 8 or 815 or something. No, you know, he's not there. He's not there. So we're kind of freaking out. He shows up at like 9 and, you know, everybody's like, we got to go. We got all this equipment and stuff. And he's got this little van.

And he's like, don't worry. everything's always late the flights don't no problem we go you know so we get in his van and i'm sitting in the front seat we load up all the stuff the base and all this i'm in the front seat with him he pulls out of the hotel and i kind of look over at his gas gauge and the red lights on and i'm like hey man what's up with that he's like oh it's okay he's like that always comes on i was like yeah it always comes on when you're low on gas and he's like oh it'll be fine and he kind of i was like i don't i think we should get some gas so he kind of gets friday oh fine fine we'll stop so he pulls into the gas station, you know, he puts like three euros of gas in. That's it. I was like, cool. At least

it will get us to the airport. He said, come on, we got to hurry. I'm like, oh, now you're in a hurry, buddy. So then he's still kind of aggravated with me for making him get gas so we don't get stranded. He pulls out of the gas station, cuts off like two cars, bounces over a curb, you know, like you look behind you and it's like explosions. It mayhem, yeah. And then he's like, oh, Sicilian drivers are so bad, you know. I was like, come on, man. And so we pull out, but he hits the curve. hard so we sort of get out of the little kind of a highway but it's just sort of a little bit bigger road and and um i start hearing this like boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom i was like dude i think the tire he's like oh no it's just my van you need so many bags and people in here it's like

boom boom it's getting louder and finally we had to pull over it's a flat tire of course of course yeah so we pull over and so we have to pull all the bags out it's getting hot already it's like 20 minutes to 10 you know the flights and um pull all the bags out so he can find the spare tire. So he finds, oh no, we have to kind of pull the stuff out. He finds the pump first. Yeah. So he starts pumping the car.

He's turning it. First, he has to take a break to smoke, of course. Naturally. Yeah, so he can get some energy. So we're trying to help him, like, pump. But then we're also, like, on the cell phone's trying to call a cab or something. Like, we've got to get to the airport. So I see him turning the thing.

He's turning it the wrong way. And I'm like, no, I know the other ways. So it starts going up. I'm like, good. And I turn to the other side. I look back at him. He's reversed and turning him back the other way. I'm like, what are you doing?

He's like, oh, it's so much easier going this way. Yeah, because you're going the wrong way. Like, yeah, the car's. Oh, so then another smoking break. And then finally gets a thing up. Espresso break. We had lunch. He gets the car jacked up.

And then he goes to get the spare. The spare is flat, of course. Of course. By this time, a couple taxis come and we bid farewell. But, yeah, so that was an interesting thing. And actually, I did, this was in my very early vlog. logging days. It was like pre-smartphone. I think I had some kind of jankety video camera. So we're going to drop a link in the description here. I think we have it on YouTube

back in the archives with a little bit of visuals you can go on with that. A little treasure. Nice. Yeah. All right. I'll finish it up with a great story. This is actually a story that took place not on the road, but here in St. Louis. This was, I forget how long ago this was. It must have been like 20-06 or 2007 or something. But there was a tribute concert for Maynard Ferguson. I believe Maynard Ferguson just died. Look up when Maynard Ferguson died. Okay.

Continue. But there was a big tribute concert happening at a university here in St. Louis. And then... 2006, August 23rd. Oh, man. I've got a great memory. You're a man. And then after the big concert with like a big band and everything,

there was going to be a jam session kind of down the street at a little bar, and everybody was invited. And I was hired to be in the rhythm section of this jam session. And, you know, naturally, all trumpet players showed up. Like, there were probably 25 trumpet players in the room. And about 15 of them were in a line with horns to play, you know, an F blues or whatever we were playing to start the session. And, you know, it was a fine night. It was okay. There was some good players.

But the last tune of the evening, it wasn't enough blues, actually. And all of the trumpet players that were there got their horns out. And they stood kind of in front of the rhythm section in a half circle. I mean, there was like 20 guys. And they just went down. It was one of those nightmare scenarios for the rhythm section player, where you're just comping for, I don't know, 22, 25 minutes. of F. Blue Strait.

You know what I mean? Just like solo after solo after solo, after solo. And all of them. Each one better than the last. Each one higher and louder than the last. Because they're all Maynard fans, right? And I love Maynard Ferguson, but this was like, this was getting ridiculous. 25 bad Maynards.

And then the real, the piece de resistance was the, at the very end, one of the leaders of sort of the whole, probably the guy who booked the Jamestown, I'm thinking about it. He, the last trumpet player is taking the solo, and he's going around and he's saying, he's like, okay, after this next chorus, the rhythm section, you guys drop out and just all trumpets are going to blow at the same time. Right? So already it's kind of a funny premise, right?

But what happened next was one of the funniest things I'd ever heard, because these were all Maynard heads. So when we, on the downbeat of the next chorus, you know, if you were to say, like, oh, there's going to be like 10 pianists we're all going to play at the same time. Like you would think maybe someone is maybe going to just like play some chords and maybe someone's going to do some like stuff up high and maybe someone's going to do some fast runs and maybe someone's going to do just like big you know octaves or something. Every single trumpet player went straight up in the air as high and as loud as like no one did any like thoughtful like it was like they were like trumpet lemmings.

One two one two three four and the room sounded. like we were inside of a giant tea kettle that was ready to boil. It was like massive jet propulsion. It was unbelievable. Everybody just went, as high and as loud as they could go. And I swear to get my friend Joe Meyer, who's now lives in Nashville, he's a really good pop and country drummer. He was on this, this gig.

And he literally fell off the drum set backwards laughing because it was so ridiculous. And, you know, that's how the tune ended. We couldn't get it back together because it was. No one had any sense of. form or time or anything. It was just as high. Or taste. It was pretty awesome.

That's cool. Yeah. Well, if you weren't there, it's almost like now you were there because... I hope you don't hear it. Thanks for listening to this episode of the You'll Hear It podcast. If you liked what you heard, please leave a rating or review. Yeah, I liked what I heard. I'm going to leave five stars, but you guys can do whatever you want. Today's episode was brought you by Open Studio, Jazz Lessons from Jazz Legends.

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