Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - Ashley Stahl: The Road to Self-Discovery, Uncover Your Core Skills and Values for Career Success | Human Behavior E240

Episode Date: August 21, 2023

At the age of 23, Ashley Stahl landed a coveted six-figure job at the Pentagon in Washington D.C. and was on track to be the spy and counterterrorism expert she had long trained to become. But then she realized that everything she thought she wanted to be wasn’t actually who she was. In this episode, Ashley tells us about her work in the counterterrorism sector, how she became a speaker and entrepreneur, and her advice to people who are unsure about their careers and looking to find their perfect career fit.   Ashley Stahl is a counterterrorism professional turned career coach, international bestselling author, and Fortune 500 spokesperson. Her book is You Turn: Get Unstuck, Discover Your Direction, Design Your Dream Career. Her TEDx talk on intuition and fulfillment is ranked amongst the top 100 TED talks on the Internet, and her self-development show “The You Turn Podcast” is one of the top-ranked mental health shows in the United States.   In this episode, Hala and Ashley will discuss: - Her start in the world of counterterrorism - Doing what you are, not what you love - How to make a You Turn in your life - Getting in touch with your core nature - The ten different types of core skill sets - Finding your zone of genius - Determining your core values - Overcoming your limiting beliefs - Paying attention to the turn signals in your life - Networking as an introvert - And other topics…   Ashley Stahl is a counterterrorism professional turned career coach, international bestselling author, and Fortune 500 spokesperson. Her book is You Turn: Get Unstuck, Discover Your Direction, Design Your Dream Career. Her TEDx talk on intuition and fulfillment is ranked amongst the top 100 TED talks on the Internet, and her self-development show “The You Turn Podcast” is one of the top-ranked mental health shows in the United States. She maintains a monthly career column in Forbes, and her work has also been featured in outlets such as The Wall Street Journal, CBS, SELF, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, and more.    Resources Mentioned: Ashley’s Website: https://ashleystahl.com/ Ashley’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleystahl/ Ashley’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashleystahl/ Ashley’s Podcast: https://ashleystahl.com/podcast-page/ Ashley’s Book, You Turn: https://ashleystahl.com/you-turn/   LinkedIn Secrets Masterclass, Have Job Security For Life: Use code ‘podcast’ for 30% off at yapmedia.io/course.   Sponsored By:  Shopify - Go to  shopify.com/profiting to take your business to the next level today Indeed - Claim your $75 credit now at indeed.com/yap   More About Young and Profiting Key YAP Links Reviews - ratethispodcast.com/yap Youtube - youtube.com/c/YoungandProfiting LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Instagram - instagram.com/yapwithhala/ Social + Podcast Services: yapmedia.com Transcripts - youngandprofiting.com/episodes-new Entrepreneurship, entrepreneurship podcast, Business, Business podcast, Self Improvement, Self-Improvement, Personal development, Starting a business, Strategy, Investing, Sales, Selling, Psychology, Productivity, Entrepreneurs, AI, Artificial Intelligence, Technology, Marketing, Negotiation, Money, Finance, Side hustle, Startup, mental health, Career, Leadership, Mindset, Health, Growth mindset.  Psychology, Mindset, Habits, Positivity, Self-Improvement, Personal Development, Human Nature, Human Psychology, Critical Thinking, Robert Greene, Chris Voss, Robert Cialdini 

I would go on these walks in Western France by myself on Sundays, and it was a really rainy city. I was in Nantes. And one day it was like pouring rain. And I saw this man across the alley from me, and he hit his wife. I locked eyes with her. I was like the only person on the street with them. And in that moment, I wanted to save her. I wanted to help her.

But instead, I made a career decision about her. helping people figure out their zone of genius is an experiment. There's a lot of temptation to cling on to things for the sake of having a plan. That is very distracting and that can send you completely off. It's really important that you're able to get yourself into a place of saying, I'm in an experiment, I'm trying things on. And trying things on could be as simple as listening to podcasts. It could be as complex as taking a job and moving to a new city.

Feel fast. Try it on. And if you don't like it, accept it and move forward. What is up, Young and Profiters? You're listening to Yap, Young and Profiting Podcast, where we interview the brightest minds in the world and unpack their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life.

I'm your host, Halitaha. Thanks for tuning in and get ready to listen, learn, and profit. Ashley, welcome to Young and Profiting podcast. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited. I love it when people that I know, come on the show because it's always such great energy. We've met a few times.

You've been on the show in the past. So you came on Yap about a year ago. This was right before you launched your book. We only teased out your book that came out in 2021 called U-turn. So we're going to focus on that today. But before we get started, I did want to give an introduction of your career journey in case our listeners are new.

They didn't hear your old episode. We replayed it. So if you want to hear our first episode together, we replayed it on the podcast just a couple weeks ago. Yay. Yeah, we did. So I'd love to actually talk to you about your first career. It's not so often that I talk to somebody who started their career and counter terrorism.

And from my research, I found out that you really plan this out. You didn't really fall into it. You strategically planned your entrance into this niche, niche of a niche, right? Yeah. So talk to us about that planning, what you did in undergrad to sort of prepare for this type of career. Yeah, it's so interesting because I remember going to undergrad. It's so weird to me that we have to pick a career path-ish when we're 18 or however old we are in college because the truth of the matter is you don't really know who you are or what you like until you try things on. Life is truly an

experiment. How are we supposed to know what we like? It's like we don't tend to marry our first crush in preschool. You know, why do we tend to marry and build our first career interest? So it's always struck me is really odd that we need to make a career decision as young as we are in college. But I remember going to the Career Services office and telling her, like, I don't really know what I want to do. And she gave me all the three-worded tirades, like, do what you love, follow your bliss. The money is going to follow or whatever people say. And I just remember leaving that meeting feeling more confused than I'd ever felt before. And it was really in that moment that I realized, you know what, the best thing I could do is just pursue things that I'm interested in and see what sticks.

And so a lot of people used to think I was an overachiever because I had three majors in college, but I was more just indecisive. I just didn't know what to pick and straddled all these worlds. So I majored in French government and history. And I lived in France for a year with this little sweet family who I'm still in touch with. And I remember this moment where I would go on these walks in Western France by myself on Sundays. And it was a really rainy city. I was in Nantes. And one day it was like pouring rain. And I saw this man across the alley from me. And he hit his wife across her face.

Wow. And he really clocked her. And she had this baby in her arms, which is even worse. And it was crying. And I locked eyes with her. I was like the only person on the street with them. And in that moment, I wanted to save her. I wanted to help her.

But instead, I made a career decision. about her. And I think a lot of people make decisions about what career they're going to be on in these moments that they're not even paying attention to. So this wasn't something I realized until I really looked back. But at the time, I was interested in government. I was interested in history. And I just figured, you know what, I'm going to pursue these interests in French, hence my French degree. And the moment that I saw her and she seemed so unprotected, so vulnerable, the first thing that came to my mind and my core values was protection. How do I be a mama bear?

How do I protect people like her? As someone who understands politics and international affairs, he was yelling at her in a language I didn't know. I just thought to myself, I'm going to go to the highest level of protecting people, and that's the government. And it was the time where we were searching for Osama bin Laden. I think that the Gen Z was impacted by the pandemic

in a similar way that the recession impacted the millennial generation. and also 9-11. I feel like those events just are so ingrained in our consciousness. And so for me, being a part of the solution was something

that was really inspiring to me. So from there on out, I learned foreign languages. I always had language skills that were natural for me. I spoke Spanish when I was five. I was fluent in French by that point. And that was when I went on

to learn Arabic and Dari. Wow. So you were very, very intentional, like we said. You kind of decided you were going to do this career sort of just off a one-off

experience that you had, which we'll talk about later, might not be the right way to choose the career, right? Yep. So it's comfortable to have a plan, and that always feels right, but it can also be blinding as well. So talk to us about when you first started having doubts about your plan. Yeah, I remember thinking, I just need to go in the best graduate school and I learned as many languages as possible. So I went to King's College, London, because their Department of War was really well known for getting people jobs in the intelligence. intelligence, national security space. I got my graduate degree there. And I remember these little moments where after class, we would sit in a lecture for five hours. And ultimately, what I experienced

going to school in London was it was like a cultural rainbow as much as it was also a culture clash. People would come into lectures, 300 people from all over the world, everywhere from Iraq to the United States to Bermuda. I sat next to someone. It was everywhere. I was really, really inspired by the diversity and the difference of everybody's thinking, it also ended up getting really heated. We were surrounded by different opinions. And I remember leaving those lectures and as kind of an ambivert, like, you know, I can be introverted, I can be extroverted. I remember feeling really exhausted because I took on all the energy in the room of all the passion, all the disconnect, all the opinions. And I remember thinking to myself, am I too sensitive for this career?

just this information alone felt like a lot for my body to hold. And I would eventually learn as I ended up working in the Pentagon that the more I knew, the less I knew. Even when I think about electing a president, I think about I had a security clearance. And the amount of information you don't know until you get your security clearance really makes it difficult for you to have a full picture of what commitments you can or can't make. So it was just really interesting to see the world through this lens, see politics through this lens. And I've never identified. identified as being, like, highly political. I was more interested. But there were those whispers and what I like to call my book, turn signals, or these little whispers of, you might not be

cut out for this. And I remember this other moment where after lectures were done, we'd send a five-hour lecture about world affairs. Like, your brain was about to fall off by the end, in my opinion. And I remember other classmates, they would want to go to happy hour and talk more about it. And I remember thinking, like, I'm at capacity. I don't want to talk more about this. I want to talk about Britney Spears shaving her head last week or like whatever pop culture situation is going on. I just have a multifaceted personality. And I remember thinking maybe this political world is too two dimensional for me. And one thing that I really didn't consider along the way the biggest turn signal that I can only look back at and really make sense of is my core values. I think far too

many people think they know their core values, but they tend to be selecting words that are aspirational, words that are things they wish they were, not things that they actually are. So I thought that, I don't know, like, security was a core value for me. And you can value something, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's a core value. One of my core values is connection. I would come to learn later, are like there's a lot of disconnect in having to work in intelligence, go to foreign countries, and turn people against their own state. There's a lot of disconnect in having to not be honest about who you are for a higher mission. Whether it's for the greater good or not, the journey along the way was in direct violation of my core values. So that was just the starting point

of me really listening to that, but it was inconvenient. It's really inconvenient not to like your plan because then you have to undo everything or you just sit with it, which a lot of people do. and I wasn't willing to face it yet. Yeah. And so you went about, graduated your graduate program and started your job hunt. So talk to us about your first job hunt because you ended up landing a job in the Pentagon, 23-year-old, years old, a six-figure salary, which is really unheard of for somebody just who graduated grad school, especially back then.

So talk to us about how you ended up landing that first job and what the job hunt was like. It's interesting. I remember salaries were lower than. because now with inflation, things are inflating. But back then, actually, I went home after graduate school, which is in Los Angeles where my parents live. And I took an admin job just so that I had some cash coming in while I could job hunt. Because those of you who know the government, you know USA Jobs is the job hunt portal, and it is like a cyber abyss of nothingness. It's based on points.

It's like an applicant tracking system on steroids. So I knew I wasn't going to get through that, which, took me the alternate route, which was, how do I get in through defense contracting? How do I go through private companies? Because what I learned was that private companies were willing to give me a security clearance while I did other admin work that would allow for the time for my security clearance to process. For other people who go straight into the government, it's like a chicken or egg situation. You need a security clearance to get a job, but you can't get a job unless you have a security clearance. So I ended up networking my face off to move to Washington, D.C. in six weeks,

I had like $5,000. I lived in a house with bedbugs for $500 a month with a bunch of roommates. You know, I remember this one girl, she was working for USAID and she would leave her underwear all over. It was just like a brutal living situation. But I sucked it up because I was like, I need to be willing to make this happen. And that was when I learned how to really talk to people. I fell on my face, I said the wrong things, and then I learned my own formula for how to give an elevator pitch, how to talk to someone in a way that creates opportunities. So that was really powerful. That started opening doors for me. Next thing I knew in six weeks, here's the thing about DC. You can eat free breakfast, lunch, and dinner in that city at networking events because it's just so social. So as a broke graduate, I was able to feed myself and network for six weeks. And I ended up. up getting three job offers and probably having at least 200 cups of coffee because every networking event, I told myself, I need to meet someone. And I learned these little hacks. Like, if you get there early, usually you're alone with the speaker, who's like the most desired person in the room. So

there's so many little hacks that I learned about people during that time. And that was what eventually translated into me working at the Pentagon. And there was a woman named Jane Morris, Mosbacher, just Jane Morris at the time. She worked at the State Department for Hillary Clinton in counterterrorism. And she was kind enough to help me leverage all my job offers. And now she owns a company helping artisans all over the world get seen by companies like Jay Cruz. So she's always in third world countries doing beautiful work. But I met some really special people along the way. And I think what I learned from that for everybody listening is that if you are willing to get on the bus, sometimes you're in the back, sometimes you're in the front.

but if you stay on the freaking bus, you will get lucky. That's just how it works. And so I got really lucky and got a lot of opportunities and ended up at the Pentagon. Love it. So mental note for myself is we're going to talk about elevator pitches and your networking hacks later on in this interview. But more of your stories. So you ended up 300% increasing your salary through negotiations, which is incredible. So like what, you were originally offered 40K and you bumped it up to 100K or more?

I don't know. Who knows? Do you tell me? I was making minimum wage in L.A. as an admin, of course. But when I got to D.C., my job offers ranged from 40K to 65K to 70K. And we ended up negotiating me up to the six-figure mark. And she really looked at me and said, this is what people are compensated. Also, the job that I got for this defense contractor, they had actually filled the job with a lot of colonels

from the military. And the reason that those hires weren't working out for them as ideally was because they wanted to delegate, which is what you're taught to do when you're a colonel. And they needed someone who was energetic, like you or I that was willing to go get your hands dirty, go do the work. And so that was kind of what I had the energy to do. And it took me some pretty wild places. Awesome. So let's talk about changing your path. So you get to D.C., your this, what you thought was your dream job. You sort of already had some doubts in school, but you get to this amazing job. Making a six-figure salary, you're in the Pentagon. A lot of people would call this their dream job at that age, right? So what was your feelings like in that first job?

And when did you start feeling like, okay, I need to make a change? Yeah. Well, early into my role there. I was working on Afghanistan and I was working with NATO to help people help the Afghans self-govern more effectively when NATO withdrew. So my job was to help the government vet our best and brightest from all sort of different departments and have them fly to Afghanistan and live there for one to two years and train their Afghan counterparts in the Ministry of Defense, in the Ministry of Interior. And that was a time, and I write about this in my book. And my book is mostly about figuring out your career path. But I have my story kind of as like the spine of the book.

I imagine nobody's as interested in my story as like figuring themselves out. So there's a lot more content in there. But I do talk about how it was a time in Afghanistan where there's a lot of insider attacks, meaning that these counterparts that were paired with U.S. officials would sometimes turn on them because they didn't agree with our government. they didn't agree with us being there, whatever the reason was. And so I ended up losing some people that I sent abroad, which was really devastating. Wow.

And that was when I realized I'm too sensitive for this because I would live my life with these people for six to eight weeks. We would be together every day in D.C. My job was to oversee curriculum, which is interesting because now I have courses online and stuff like that for your career. So it was kind of my first touch at curriculum. And it was what do these people need to prepare to be absolutely? out there, you know, in what we called the War on Terror? Like, what did they need to effectively assimilate to their life in Afghanistan without creating cultural disruptions? So I hired Afghan generals. I flew them from Kabul to Washington, D.C., to give presentations. We went to military bases.

We would do vignettes where fake bombs would go off, you name it, and we would go through real-life exercises. I spent time on this military base in Indiana that it felt like the hills have eyes, like it was a psych ward in the 80s, turned into a military base later. And so it would be me and a bunch of women from Afghanistan that were there as part of the exercises. And I've really fond memories of them, you know, knocking on my door at 10 at night with boulani bread or just like very sweet women. But it was a not your normal job in your early 20s. Most of my friends would be group texting me about their job at a marketing firm,

fashion PR, being an assistant, a production assistant, all the standard things that you hear. when people are finding themselves or choosing their careers. And I was like on a military base. And in front of my eyes was like a fake sunken village with fake broken cars and like all this stuff that looked really real, by the way, for the purposes of military training. So I was preparing to work in intelligence and that was my goal. And there's a lot of different roles in the intelligence in CIA world. But ultimately, I had to make the decision as a curriculum person to arm everyone.

everyone who was deploying with a gun, which meant from a curriculum standpoint, training people to have a gun so that they're not more of a threat to themselves than anybody else. And that was when I realized I'm way too sensitive for this. And so I think a lot of people, we think too much about what we're interested in. And the thing is, there's such a big difference between, I don't know if we talked about this in our last podcast, being like a producer and a consumer of something. I don't think so. I was going to bring it up to you, but let's get into it now. we are consumers of many things. I am a happy consumer of cupcakes, massages, fashion, politics,

but that does not mean that I'm meant to be a producer of any of those things. And so for me, it was interesting to realize I love politics, but that doesn't mean I'm meant to be a politician. I love cupcakes, but I'm a horrible baker. I love fashion, but I'm not meant to be a designer. This is how our brains tend to work when we're young and even later. and I think sometimes we turn our art, our hobbies into work when they're not meant to be there. And that's why the primary message of my book in every single chapter of the 12 has a core

concept, like core values, core essence, core skill set. The message is don't do what you love, do what you are. And every chapter of the book is here to help you figure out, well, who are you? And that whole time in my life, I ended up actually being so, all my friends were like, how did you get a job offer? It was the recession. So I started hosting little coffee groups on Sundays in D.C. And everybody ended up having me rewrite their resume. I was helping them.

And they would all say, you should be a career coach. And I was like, what does that even mean? Do they stand on the sidelines of your career, like a hockey coach and like, here for you? And then I googled career coach. And I saw a bunch of like purple websites, which I have nothing against the color. It was just very touchy-feely stuff, and I was in not touchy-feely land at the Pentagon. And I just remember thinking, like, what is this? And then I ended up getting the confidence to start my business anyway, and that's what took me

out of the Pentagon and turned into my business with online courses for your career. Actually, right now, I'm carrying some skills from my time at the Pentagon that people don't really know, but I was friends with a lot of the speechwriting team in Obama's administration. And so I've always been a good speechwriter. my TED Talk has hit the top 100 the past few years. And I've actually written 40 speeches for TED the past year. Wow. And 39 of those people on stage.

Let's talk. Yeah. Yeah. And so it's been really magical because I never would have, you know, that's the thing about life. You don't really know what skills you're going to revisit. I left the Pentagon thinking, this is complete and all I did was put time in. I wouldn't realize 10 years later after having online. courses, getting a book deal. Weird fact, my book is a bestseller in Asia. Like, I don't even

have anybody out there, but it somehow dropped in Asia and did really well. So all my courses are are being licensed in Asia. And it's like you just never know. So circling back a decade later and identifying more than anything as a writer and a speech writer and being able to write people's stories, I never would have thought my time at the Pentagon would have contributed to that. But Obama, like him or not, he's a pretty good speaker. and he had a speech-writing framework that I learned. And so I've been writing TED Talks in that framework. I wrote my TED Talks in that framework for so many clients now.

And it's just been so unexpected that my life has taken me kind of back home to myself, which is the intention all along. Let's hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors. At YAP, we have a super unique company culture. We're all about obsessive excellence. We even call ourselves scrappy hustlers. And I'm really picky when it comes to my employees. team is growing every day. We're 60 people all over the world. And when it comes to hiring,

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that you started with. That's the upgrade that every profiting entrepreneur needs. Start the New Year's strong, take control of your cash flow with QuickBooks Money Tools. Learn more at quickbooks.com slash money. Again, that's quickbooks.com slash money. Terms apply. Money movement services are provided by Intuit Payments Incorporated, licensed as a money transmitter by the New York State Department of Financial Services. It's so great. I love stories like this and you'd be surprised how often people come on the show where they had some sort of career, pivot and they took the skills that they learned in one area and applied them to a new area and all their other skill sets and then they just blow up with success. And it's because nobody can

uniquely offer the things that you're offering, right? Nobody has the same experiences that you have and now you can package them up in a way that makes you so different and commanding and confident and everything like that. So congratulations on all your success. It's awesome what you've turned one career into the next. Like you've totally transitioned and made a you turn. as you call it. So let's talk about your book, since we're already talking about U-turns. You call your book U-turn. What does that mean exactly? Yeah, instead of a U-turn like you take in traffic, it's a Y-O-U-turn. And to me, it means that critical moment of transformation where you get really honest with yourself about some area of your life that just isn't working. And I don't see

myself as a guru. I feel like I'm everybody's friend just doing my work on myself too. But this concept was a phrase that I would tell myself all the time. Like, I need to leave the Pentagon and make a U-turn. And I would comment like this. And so it just felt right to make it about my book. And a lot of publishers wanted to call my book, find your dream career and like slap a title onto it. But I wanted it to have the soul that I feel like it really holds. And it's been really cool to see people resonating with the message and wanting to come home to themselves. So I think the number one rule when you're making a U-turn is that life is an experiment. And the cost of admission of a fulfilling life is to make mistakes. And it's not that we enjoy them. It's not that we look forward to them.

But if we can accept them as a part of the process without making ourselves wrong for them existing, I think that's been really huge for me. Too many people put so much pressure on their career that I don't think they'll be able to figure it out if they live like that. So interesting. And you say that core nature is really important. And basically it's a voice inside of us emanating from who we really are deep down. So talk to us about core nature, how we can figure out what our core nature is. Yeah. I feel like your core nature is really your essence. It's the energy and it's how the room changes when you walk in. So I feel like hollow yours is actually quite fun to be around.

You're bubbly. You're very like sharp businesswoman capable. So you come off as real bubbly, no nonsense business capabilities. I feel like the room can feel that when you walk in. Like you're around somebody who's competent. You're around somebody who wants to chat. You're around somebody who wants to play. I feel like my core essence when I ask people, and this is a power tool is to ask people,

how does the room change when I walk in? How does the room feel different? Because I'm in it. People always tell me, like, there's a deep, soulful, like, wise energy that I bring, non-judgmental, authentic, also sense of humor. So I think that it's really the adjectives, maybe the top three or four that you hear from people that you think really get a good sense of you and how they would describe your energy when you walk into a room. So I actually had a woman at the Pentagon. I call her Jeanette in the book,

just protect everybody's names. And she said to me, I had this whole moment when I open up, well, first of all, I start the book when I'm in preschool at my graduation. And I'm standing at the mic, and I'm supposed to say what I wanted to be when I grew up. And it's funny because I said at the mic, I want to be a writer. I want to be a poet. And I left that, right? Like I went into defense. And then I came home to that. And now I'm writing all these TED talks for all these people. And so it's interesting, I came home to the poet. I made the ultimate U-turn. But I remember this woman. There was a little bit of sexism with one of my counterparts, my colleagues. And, you know, he was kind of like all you would think about, a little bit misogynistic as a woman when you're like in a place like DOD, Department

of Defense. So he made a joke that I don't get a desk because I need to earn it, just like women do in Afghanistan. That was like his literal. So those days were days. And later I'd find out he was making a bunch more money than I was in the same job. So that was really hard to hear. But I remember this woman, Jeanette, I think that the circumstances in there, even though I was getting paid well, even though I was using my degree, I had all the skills and I had a lot to be proud of. I remember feeling kind of low because you can only be around people that see you in a dark light so long until you sometimes start to question yourself. No matter how much work you do, your environment matters. And so it wasn't like he had anything to say about my work. I would. was new there, but there was just that energy of misogyny. And it's funny because people always say, it's not really funny, but people are like, oh, how was that male-dominated space? I'm like, you know what? I met a lot of amazing men at the Pentagon that training was so much respect, helped my career, showed up for me, like no drama. So this was just one person. And I like to be clear about that. But I remember this woman, Jeanette, she moved to D.C. from the South because

her son was in the Marines. She wanted to be near him. She worked in, like, HR. And I came crying to her, like, I feel so stupid, I don't have a desk. I can't even write this intelligence report. She found something in a closet, like a drawer, three stack of drawers. And she put a chair there. She's like, this is going to be your desk until we find you a desk. And I remember I said, well, maybe I don't even deserve a desk. And she said, oh, Ashley, you are bold. You are communicative. You are wise. The room changes when you walk in. And we need that. It's like a ray of sunshine in here for all of us. And I never forgot that. And that was my introduction to core energy, core essence, core nature. It's all the same term to me. And she gave me a gift, that woman, like her ability

to reflect back to me who I was. And I think that we all have, you know, there's different types of mentors in the workplace. There's a sponsor, which to me, a sponsor is somebody in your job, if you have a job, or if you have a business a little bit different, in a job where they advocate for you. They say your name when nobody, when you're not there. They're making. sure that you get opportunities. I love to be that person for my friends. Really lights me up to be in rooms that just throw people out there as like possibilities for things. Put it's a little pep at my step. Then there's the wise owl mentor. That's the one that's all about legacy. They've been there. They've done that. They're happy to talk to you. And then I think the third one is one that I've

used quite a bit is the paid mentor. This is someone like, I don't know, people call me a coach, but I feel like I'm more of like a coach sultan because I feel like consultants advise you on what to do and coaches ask a lot of questions. But yeah, the core nature was so huge. And what I realized is that if you get feedback from people on your core nature, you can start to tune in to people who match your energy. Like if you start to listen to those adjectives people give you, you start to ask yourself, do these feel true? Are these my core energy? Are these my core nature? Then I would say, well, who do you know that has a similar nature? And what are they up to? And there's a second piece of the puzzle. I mean, there's many pieces in the book, but another piece that you'd mention

that I talk about is your core skill set. It's like there are a lot of people who are bubbly, who are communicative, but they might have different core skill sets. So it's important that you add that. It's almost like layer cake. Like the bottom of the cake that holds you is your energy. And there's a lot more to it. It's not just how the room changes when you walk in. It's also, are you an introvert or an extrovert? And I know there's a lot of research on being an ambivert, but picking Elaine really helps for this, because if, let's say, words is your core skill set, that's mine. Then if you're an introvert, that's going to look like, I'm such a loner with these TED Talks. You'll find me in cafes. I talk to my clients because they're all walks of life, right? Like celebrities, billionaires,

random people in the workplace. It's all sorts of humans that I'm writing stories, because that's what I love about Ted. You don't need to be anyone other than someone who has a story and me getting to pull people's story out. But you'll find me as an introvert in coffee shops most of the time. That's what my energy supports. I used to go on speaking tours. I used to have a speaking agent, and I could do it, but I was dying because I feel all the eyeballs on me and I need to sleep for an entire day after that. I'm the opposite. Yeah, you are. Some more, I'm like, yes. Oh, my God. How do you do that? I don't know. I get so excited from all the attention. I love it. When you do a speaking engagement, do you prepare a lot?

No. Wow. I had a speaking engagement two days ago and there was a thousand people in the room. I prepped my deck, of course, beforehand. But I really just did the slides and didn't even practice. And then while I was getting my makeup done, I practiced and I crushed it. Oh, my God. I want you to send it to me.

Will you send it to me? I want to see you in your magic. And if you're ever speaking in Miami, you have to tell me I want to come watch. I was just in Miami speaking. I'm sorry. I was literally there yesterday. No. I really want to see you.

That's so cool. See, that's the thing. When I look at my speaking career, I love writing the speech because the poet in me gets to feel. But the delivery and the eyeballs, like, no thanks. And so I do it when I have to do it and I'm great at it when I do it. But I'm not having my best life when I'm doing it. I have a lot of gratitude when people ask me questions and I see that I'm helping them and I do get in a flow state. But what it puts my body through, I would never build a career around it.

And so I think for people listening, it's like once you know your core nature, that's the bottom of the layer cake. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Also, energy levels. I have gotten Lyme disease not once but twice in my life. Like I've gotten two different tick bites for it. So I guess I'm like really supposed to have it. But I don't have that many symptoms outside of I get sick easily. But the reason that's relevant is because I remember being a kid and I would get a cold and most people, they'll kick it in like a week.

Mine would be like six weeks. And so I would probably have colts for like four weeks of the year. I had to get my tonsils out recently, which is such a cluster if you're an adult. It was interesting for me because I realized like I am not capable of being in the workforce. I'm not capable of having to run it by someone to be sick because there are many times. Like, you told me this morning you woke up not feeling well and you kicked it with a bunch of ginger shots. For me, it's like if I don't feel well, I need to be the one that takes the hit for that. I don't want anyone else to take the hit for that.

If I cancel things, I just remember thinking corporate is never going to work. And so that drove me in my career. And I think that that's huge for your schedule. What is your rhythm? I do my best work from like 3 p.m. onwards. So I tend to work from like 3 to 8. and not do anything before noon. So I think it's just important for people to kind of know what is your energy levels

because if you are honest with yourself, there are certain careers you really do need to just rule out. They're not going to work. And I think that people miss that when they think too much about their skill set, like, oh, I'm good at words or I'm good at service. I'm a humanitarian, I'm a helper. I'm good at technology. But what's your energy levels?

Because that's a part of the layer cake just as much as your skill set. This is all super interesting, super, super helpful. I think anybody who's looking to do a career transition or just curious about maybe they should have a career transition, they should really read your book. So let's go over the core 10 skill sets in detail. I'm going to rattle them off quick fire. And then you just like give us a minute of what we need to know about each one. So the first one is innovation. Yes.

Okay. So this is for the entrepreneur or the entrepreneur. And it really depends on your relationship to security and freedom. So usually the entrepreneur is obviously their own book of. business under the portfolio of a brand, or they're the second in command, second to the CEO. That's perfect for you. If you care too much about your financial security, you're not a huge risk taker, but you want the autonomy to take some risks and you're okay with working with someone's idea. Or if you're an entrepreneur, usually means you have too much pain, creative pain

if you're doing other people's ideas, too much pain being on a salary, not taking risks. Then you're meant to be the innovator entrepreneur. Interesting. I'm going to tell you what I think My core skill set is after all of this. Building. Yeah, so this is quite literal or figurative. So the builders can be like a brand builder, somebody who sees the world mentally through stacking. They see it through building. Or it can be someone who's literally in construction using their hands to build. You want to think about these skill sets, not just as skills, but energies that you're stepping

into. So it's the energy of building. Technology. Pretty straightforward. It's for the techies. everything from the artificial intelligence creators to the IT Genius Bar, Kings and Queens, we need them. Motion.

Motion is for everyone from the fitness influencers who want to be teaching people personal training to dancers. It's people who are physical in their career. Service. These are for the helpers, the humanitarians, the customer service. These people need to be careful. with the question of, are you really a helper? Or is this a coping mechanism that you learned in your upbringing?

Did you learn that being a helper is the way to show up and keep your family unit together? Or are you actually just genuinely someone that likes to be of service? Beauty. This is for the artists. This is for the musicians. This is for the makeup artists, the interior designers. These are for the people who want to make art of the world around them in some way.

And they lead with that. Coordination. These are for the operations people who cross-examines. the T's, dot the I's, the event managers, the project managers, the operations managers. I'm so grateful for them because I have none of that skill set. Analysis. Okay, so this is actually a really powerful example. When I got into the Pentagon, I thought that, oh my gosh, I get to write a lot of intelligence

reports. I'm a good writer, right? No, I was actually in the analysis skill set. And that's a totally different side of the brain than creative writing. So this is an example of how people can misunderstand their skill sets. So analysis is what it sounds. It's for the academics. It's for the researchers.

It's for the analytical thinkers. Numbers. Number crunchers, straightforward bookkeepers, investment managers, finance people. If you're a number cruncher, you tend to know it. You love math. And there's so many different careers under that umbrella for you. Yeah. It's so interesting because as you're saying this list,

I'm also thinking about my weakest areas and how I've hired people to fill them. And like my biggest support system at my company are like, for example, numbers, I'm really good at it. And when I'm passionate about something like how to retain an audience on your podcast, like, okay, I'm crunching numbers because I'm just passionate about that topic. But anything else, I'm like, please, like, just I'll make money you handle the books, right? So innovation is definitely, after you read all those, innovation is my top quality. Which one does words fall under then for you? That's words. That would be the 10th one. That's the final skill set. I think we went through maybe nine of them. Oh, I was going to say, where did words go? Yeah, that's the final one. So words is,

mine and these are for the wordsmiths. So whether you're a speaker and you're an extrovert or whether you're a writer like me and more of an introvert. I love that. Awesome. So if our core skills are not immediately apparent to us, what do we do to figure them out? There's a lot of research on this. The best question to ask people, and again, I reference asking people questions and I think it's powerful, but also don't outsource your intuition. Trust yourself too. So I would say asking people, where have you seen me at my best? Where have you really seen me make an impact, especially professionally? Can you ask a couple colleagues? Even your boss? That's gold. Professors, friends, parents. Parents always have a really interesting perspective. I feel like a lot of people,

there's this term in psychology. I have my graduate degree in psychology as well. There's this term called fantasy bond. I think a lot of people have a fantasy bond with their parents where it's like this idea that we have an incredible closeness to our parents because it makes us feel safe. to believe that when really sometimes we aren't really who we are in front of them or we're almost in like our family's patterns and ways of being to the point where we're not self-discovering. So sometimes your parents are a great group of people to ask. Sometimes they're not because they see you through this limited lens that you're not. Interesting.

So basically if you're struggling to find out, you ask your friends, your coworkers. Yeah. Where have you seen me at my best professionally and start to notice what skill set you're using when people comment it and ask yourself, where do you feel like you were at your best professionally? What were you doing? So talk to us about how we can figure out if a job is not for us by understanding our core skill sets, our core nature and energy, how can we determine like, okay, this job is just not working for me and I need to make a change? There's two core dynamics. There's the what and there's the how. So the what is about your core skill set. What are you doing all day? What are the tasks? That's

directly tied to your core skill set. You could be a coder, like a techie at Disney, the same way you could do it for Victoria's Secret. You know what I mean? Like, the industry is irrelevant because, I mean, it matters based on the backdrop that you're standing in. But the foreground is truly your skill set. That's what's holding your career. That's what you're harnessing and sharpening and growing in your career. So that's the what. But the second piece that we kind of touched on is the how. And this is where I think a lot of people go the wrong direction in their career. The how has to do with your core values. So let's say that your skill set is words and you're a salesperson and you're an extrovert. So that makes sense, right? But let's say you're selling

something you don't believe in and a core value is integrity and you feel out of integrity selling the thing. That's a core value issue. It's not a skill set issue. That person to me, I'm going to say, you know what? You still make sense for being in sales and being the extrovert and words person you are. There's so many other things you could do as an extroverted words person. But this is one thing that does make sense. Here's the real problem. It helps me diagnose. There's a couple other things. Like, I see careers as if it's three lily pads. So the first lily pad, I think a lot of people are on it, which is, I'm fine. I mean, maybe not the people listening here because it's such an active self-development to listen to a show like this, but I'm fine. Maybe they don't love what they're doing,

but it's working for them in some way. They're paying their bills. They don't want to think about it. Whatever. Majority of the population is there. That's why we're seeing 71 percent. of the workforce that are disengaged with their jobs, trying to get another job or starting businesses. The second Lillipad is what I try to bring people to, which is knowing your zone of genius. And I've been in and out of a lot of companies helping their employees figure this out because they don't want their employees to leave anymore. They want to just like reassign them somewhere that they're happy. And so what's been interesting about this one is helping people figure out their zone of genius is an experiment. So when you're starting,

swimming from LilyPad 1 of I'm fine to LilyPad 2, there's a lot of temptation to cling on to things for the sake of having something, for the sake of having a plan. That is very distracting and that can send you completely off. And so it's really important that you're able to get yourself into a place of saying, I'm in an experiment, I'm in the in between, I'm trying things on. And trying things on could be as simple as listening to podcast, reading books, talking to people. It could be as complex as taking a job and moving to a new city. You're still in the process of trial and error. And like people say, fail fast. Try it on. And if you don't like it, accept it and move forward. I had a client once who got a job offer in Berlin and he was based in San Francisco and he's like,

should I take it, should I not? And he was in so much agony trying to make that decision. And I remember trying to coach him on seeing how much it doesn't matter if he moves. What happens? How much are you going to lose on your lease if you cancel? it early in your apartment in San Francisco. Okay, so you're going to lose $5,000. How much of the pay raise is this? $50,000. Okay, what happens if you don't like it? Well, I guess I pack myself up and come back. Okay, if you do that, how much do you have in your savings? Like, how long do you think it's going to take it again? Then he realized like, wow, this isn't that big of a deal. I'm going to try this on. He ended up loving it and it transformed his career. So I think it's really important

that we give ourselves permission to be in the human experience. And that means being experimental. And that gets you to that second lily pad. And once you're locked in there, once you know your course skill set, life becomes a game of yes or no. Your career becomes a game of, do I want this opportunity or I don't? Do I not? Because we all know when we see someone that's in their zone of genius. It's obvious.

It's actually quite rare. It's really special. I have someone on my team that I'm like, man, you're such a boss. You are so capable and competent. I don't see her as somebody that works for me. I see her as somebody that works with me because she's just so capable. and when people like her exist and she's clicked into what she's meant to be doing, everybody wants to work with her. And the thing about opportunities is that they're just as abundant as they are distracting.

Opportunities can be a form of distraction when you're not intentional about the ones that you take. So really sitting with yourself of like, okay, this is my skill set. And I'm going to play the game of filtering through because people are going to notice it, my yes is in my nose. And if people aren't noticing and you feel stuck, then start creating more opportunities. Start getting out there and talking to people, because people can hear you and see on your resume and see through your stories if what you are talking about really makes sense and you have that gift. What about the third lily pad? Yeah, so that one is the one that I don't see everybody making their way to, and it's not better or worse, but I think that's really Dharma. I wrote my book from the third lily pad, and it takes one

to no one. You can kind of see people on it, like Kobe Bryant. you know, like rest and peace. I feel like people would see athletes like him and they were like, he's high on life in a different way. And he's really in his Dharma. And I think it's a lot of pressure to be in our purpose all the time. And I don't necessarily think our purpose is always in work. Like we spend 90,000 hours of our life at work. That's two thirds of our time awake on the planet. Like I get that we want it to make sense and to feel good. But the Dharma lily pad is really when you've done the experiments and you've been willing to swim lily pads. You've not held on to plans for the sake of having them, but you've really let yourself be in the unknown. I've been in a season of, I don't know,

for like two to three years. And the difference between me and the people who aren't figuring it out and the fact that I did figure it out was that I didn't force ideas upon myself. I let my business be a crock pot, like a low simmer with the services that resonated for me, whether it was my career coaching clients, and it took me years. And then I finally realized, I want to write these TED Talks. And it has been like floodgates coming in, writing these. And because it's not just writing them, but booking people on stage. We work with a booker who does that. So it's just been eye-opening to realize, like, you know, Joe Dispenza, he talks about the quantum field and how all these ideas exist in the quantum field. And it's so funny because when I thought about offering these TED speeches

and bookings, that idea was always on the shelf. Like my TED Talks been doing really well for a long time. I've written them for a couple business coaching clients or whatever have you, I never would have thought, oh, I'm going to go offer these. But that was an option for me five years ago. But I pulled it off of the quantum field shelf now. And I think what happens is you have to allow yourself to be in those seasons in order to pull things off the shelf when you're ready to do them. I love that. And I can even think of my own story and career. And it's the same thing. It's like I just offer the services and do the things that feel right right now. There's no big master plan. I'm not like in five years I'm going to do ex-a-z-z. I'm just like in this moment, this feels right. And I know I can do it well and I'm going to

just attack it. So question for you. And then we're going to get into core values in a bit because I know we didn't cover that in detail. But in terms of the core skill sets, I feel like my strongest one is innovation, but I also feel like I'm good at many of those things that you said. Do you just have like an order? Do you put them in order or something? What if you feel like you? you feel like you're good at a lot of those things? Yeah, I mean, you are a queen, so I'm not surprised, but I will say a lot of people resonate with at least a few of them. What's important, I think, is that you pick which one you're leading with in your career the most because that's what influences your impact and your bank account. Your impact, your fulfillment, your bank account.

You can't sharpen three skill sets all the time. So I would say 70% of the time you want to be in your core skill set and then the other 30, you can be in other ones. But at least 70% you want to be sharpening that and harnessing that. We'll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors. Young and profiters. I know there's so many people tuning in right now that end their workday wondering why certain tasks take forever, why they're procrastinating certain things, why they don't feel confident in their work, why they feel drained and frustrated and unfulfilled. But here's the thing you need to know. It's not a character flaw that you're feeling this way. It's actually your natural wiring. And here's the thing. When it comes to burnout, it's really about the type of work

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That's QUO.com slash profiting. Quo. No missed calls, no missed customers. Okay, so let's move on to core values. Earlier, you mentioned that a lot of people think values are what they want to be. It's aspirational. Or they think that that's their values, but really it's aspirational. Can you help distinguish with us in terms of what values exactly are, how we can go about determining our values?

Yeah, for sure. So this describes it the best. I had a client who he said adventure was a core value. And I said, okay, what's adventure mean to you? he was like skydiving, adrenaline, sports. And then this other girl who lives in Miami, she was a client years ago, and she was making a career pivot. So she came to me and I was like, okay, adventure, what does that mean to you? Because she told me adventure as well. And she said it was trying new restaurants in Miami. And I just remember being like, we need to define this.

And this applies not just in our career, but in our relationships. The amount of people that are like, oh, me and my partner have the same values. But for example, I just saw religion, drive a couple apart. They both thought that they valued religion, but the way it shows up is so different that it was really a point of disconnect and not a point of connection for them. As far as being too aspirational goes, I had a client that I'll never forget, she was an attorney, and she picked the word peace. And I remember being like, you are a lot of things, and I know that you don't enjoy being a litigator all these years because you're done with it. But peaceful is not one of them because if peace was truly a core value, you would have never ended up in this career. Your core value

are the non-negotiable fundamental principles by which you actively live your life. So these are the core ingredients to your being. If you remove one, you are not there anymore, is the idea. So if you remove, like, wisdom, I'm not me anymore. Yeah, values always get me tripped up. I'm not going to lie, because a lot of people choose things and activities as their values. When I feel like values are your decision-making compass, that you, you, you, you, when something's going wrong, you can't think logically.

So for me, like values might be like hard work or ambition or something like this. But then when people say something like adventure, I just don't understand how that's a value. I know that might be like too hard of a question. There are people out there that when they're living their life, they feel happy and they feel fulfilled and they feel themselves when their life has an element of adventure. But it depends on what that means for them, right? So this guy, he literally does adrenaline sports. Like every year he goes skiing in the Alps and goes down the moguls and in between the

trees, that's adventure for him. It's terrifying for me. But I think that without those activities, without those commitments, he's not him. He's like a shell. So I think it's important to ask yourself, what are the words that represent the real truth of me, not what I want to be. And what you want more of is great to know. It's just not your core value.

Yeah. Okay, that's helpful. So in your book, you also lay out how certain limiting beliefs and blocks can keep us from doing what we need to do in order to advance our careers. Can you talk about some of those limiting beliefs? Yeah. Anyone who's listening right now, if you just write on a piece of paper, I'm not where I want to be in my career because, fill in the blank. I'm not where I want to be in my career or my business because this, that, or the other thing. Usually it's a limiting belief.

Sometimes it's true, right? Like my sister-in-law, she's from Panama and she married my brother. ago, she wasn't where she wanted to be in her career because her visa application hadn't come through and she couldn't get hired or whatever these things were. So there's some real logistics. But a lot of us will say like, oh, we need more experience or we need to do this or we need to do that. To me, that's a limiting belief. Also, I think a gateway into your limiting beliefs is when you feel like your peace is disturbed. So to me, a limiting belief is a thought that you keep thinking that isn't working for you. That might not even be true. I think that the portal into

it is when you feel your piece is disturbed. So if you feel a little stickiness in your chest, you feel a little tenseness in your day, the best thing you could do for yourself is pause just for a second, even if it means going to the restroom because you're in a meeting. Maybe somebody said something and it's triggering something for you, but being able to ask yourself, what am I thinking right now? That's making me feel so sticky. And usually it's something that you don't have to be buying into. Our brains are like the NASDAQ ticker, just information going through. And we don't have to believe any of it. Everything's made up. You know, might as well pick things that are helpful to tell ourselves. Another thing that Byron Katie from the Loving What Is book talks about, which is a great

book for limiting beliefs, she talks a lot about loving what is and really taking a look at, is this true? How do I know for sure that this is really true? A hundred percent. Can you say with 100 percent certainty it's true? And also picking evidence for the contrary. Do you have any evidence that this is not true. The thing about our neuro pathways is that they tend to keep replicating themselves and doing the same things. And I'm no neuroscience expert, but I know enough from reading enough research at this point working in psychology that it takes a lot of work to rewire our neuro pathways. So one of the most powerful tools that I like to do is forgive myself. So when I realize I'm in a limiting belief, when I realize I'm in a sticky belief. So maybe you're in a meeting and somebody

says something and you have a belief that you're not valuable in your conversation. You can go to the bathroom, what's causing you stickiness. This is the thought. And then I like to say, I forgive myself for buying into the belief that, forgive myself for buying into the belief, and I'll say it in silence. I'll put my hand over my heart in the bathroom stall. And I'll figure myself for buying into the belief that I'm not providing value for this meeting. The truth is, just because I'm more introverted and I'm more reflective does not mean that I'm not providing value. It just means that I'm not the squeakiest wheel. I'm not the loudest value provider. And the thing about that is I go into the truth.

The truth is this, right? I said it actually means this. So forgive yourself for what the limiting belief is, for buying into it, and then update it with the truth is. And it's not very powerful if you're like, the truth is, I am valuable because then you're just playing ping pong with yourself. But if you can get into a real deeper truth of like, well, the truth is, I'm just very this way.

I had a story that my boyfriend, who's the best guy ever, was an introvert. Or he's not. He just takes a minute to warm up to people, and he's a private person. So I used to be like, or no, not even introvert. It's kind of a ruder story. Like, oh, he's a little bit antisocial. Not true at all. He has more best friends than anybody I've ever met in my life. He takes a minute to be an observer, take in the room, right? What if he believed he was antisocial? Or even just me believing it, I had to forgive myself. I forgive myself for buying into the belief that he's antisocial. The truth is he's an observer. He takes in the room. He's very thoughtful. He's very

mindful of when he starts to contribute. So there's new stories we could tell ourselves all the time. And I see this forgiveness as like a boulder that you chip away at every time you forgive yourself. Sometimes it's a little chip that comes off. Sometimes it's a big chip that comes off. But it's a lifelong practice because if you think about your beliefs, like we all have an inner thermostat for our belief system. And it's usually set by our parents unless we question it, unless we take a look at it. So I grew up in a house where my dad lost his a lot of money when we were young. He lost all of his fortune. We were privileged to even have any in the first place. And we ended up almost claiming bankruptcy. And that really influenced my belief system about money, that you can lose it, that you can't have

fun without it, that you don't get parent. You know, it was just so many different beliefs. It wasn't until later that I questioned all of those. Like, is this really true? Even he used to, in his money wounds, we would drive by houses in Malibu, and he would be like, oh, that's a $10 million house. I remember as an adult looking at the house being like, oh, that's like $10 million. I just inherited his belief. I remember seeing one for sale one day and it said 3.5. And it's not to say that I had $3.5 million, but it was to say that it was helpful for me to realize that I was buying into his limits.

And the thing about our parents is that we live with them for more years that we underestimate, like I'm 36 years old. I left my parents' house at 21. So I have more years living under their beliefs, like a tea bag, sitting in a cup of tea. You know, like I'm just this tea bag. bag soaking them up. And I have less years on my own. I'm still rewiring those beliefs. So I think that puts it into perspective for some people. Yeah. And Ashley, you really are very wise. You really have so many unique thoughts that are just so interesting and so well spoken. So

words is definitely your thing. And wise is definitely your energy. So as we close out this interview, let's focus on networking. And I want to start with the concept of rerouting. You talk a lot about it in your book. Talk to us about what rerouting is and what you do in your career to reroute. Yeah, I would say one practice that I love is journaling and I love to write at the top of my journal and I don't do it every day, but when I'm feeling called, I write, what do you need me to know? And I believe there's something called Morning Pages in the artist's way that suggests this. I haven't read it yet, but I really want to read it. It's just lower on my list because I have so many books for my own podcast guests that I have coming on, which I'm excited to have you come on.

But I would say rerouting is the process of going inward, paying attention to the turn signals, the little moments, the little whispers that you get from your intuition. My company, even though it's branded as my name, it's actually called Wise Whisper. And I think it's because intuition is a wise whisper. And once you start to pay attention to the turn signals and you are willing to listen to them, you're actually in a process of rerouting. So you're able to start to think, well, if this isn't for me, then what is? And whenever I feel like my career is flatlining, it's at a plateau, it's not interesting.

I realize one of the best things that I could do is have more conversations. Because conversations are a super highway for clarity. And it doesn't have to be with anybody in particular. Obviously, it helps to be pointed at it. Like, find 20 people working with your core skill set and ask them how they feel about what they do. You're going to get a lot of information about what's next for you. It's inevitable. But I actually have conversations at the grocery store.

I just make a commitment when it's conversation time to put away my phone when I'm out and just be like, okay, I don't need to be on all the time, but I need to be available for a conversation. And that intention, just intention being like my intention is to have open energy for conversations. And I'll always have different starters like, hey, how's it going? Or I don't usually talk about the weather, but it just depends on whatever. but I just opened myself up to people. And this practice has changed my whole life. I got a huge spokesperson.

I've been a spokesperson for SOFA. I've been their national spokesperson for four years. I'm pretty sure that came through just like a random bathroom line conversation with someone. So you just never know who is listening or who you're talking to. And I talk about it in my book, my first networking event in D.C. I ended up talking to the taxi driver and I went with this Marine to that networking event. And he was like, why are you wasting all your time talking to this cab driver?

And turns out he drove for the Clintons and he got me a meeting at the White House. So you just never know who you're talking to. Wow. You got to be open for those conversations and treat everybody like they could be the CEO, you know, even if they're driving in Uber. Very cool. So last couple questions. Let's stick on networking still. Talk to us about how introverts can be better networkers and some of the tips that you mentioned in D.C.

that you learned in terms of like how to hack a networking event. Yeah, yeah. Well, first of all, I know you asked me about an elevator pitch. So the first thing about introverts is just the mindset. You don't need to go into networking events or networking situations with a spray and prey mentality. My assignment for introverted networkers is just set a quota. Is it two kindred spirits, three kinder spirits? Tell yourself, I'm allowed to leave after I've created lasting and real connections with

three kindred spirits tonight. People that I really relate to, people that I enjoy talking to. Maybe the first five people you talk to, they really don't count if you're honest with yourself. You're not enjoying them. So it's about quality over quantity for them. It's about follow-up. It's about nurturing your network. It's about offering value, staying in touch. As far as the elevator pitch goes, I think this is just advice for anyone. And I go in depth in the book about it, I think in the second half. But the most important thing to have in your elevator pitch, it's a four-part process. So I'll give you the gold part of it

since we're at the end is your goal. So let's say you're talking to something and they're like, tell me about yourself. Well, first of all, you need to have your ear trained for an invitation into your elevator pitch because it might not sound like what you think. It might not sound like, tell me about yourself.

It might sound like, what brought you here? Or what are you doing? But it's all the same. It's an elevator pitch invite. And so you'll go into your pitch. And at the end, you want to say, well, so that's what brings me here at the moment. I'm looking to transition into PR, particularly in the fashion world.

Or at the moment, I'm really focused on meeting more podcasters who want representation for sponsors, right? Like, you have your agency, Hala. So having a very succinct one-liner that's like, here's what I'm focused on at the moment. Letting it dangle in the air is really, really powerful for your elevator pitch. And another power question to ask people is, do you have any suggestions for how I can stand out as a candidate for X, Y, or Z. So let's say you're a business owner and you want to get a

client, you know, or a contract, or if you're a job seeker, when you say that, it invites people to help you. If you're in the workforce, they might say, oh, well, I can pass your resume to HR. That'll get you to stand out. If you're a business owner, it might be like, oh, I know someone that needs those services, right? Or I know someone that needs what you're offering. So I think it's just about constantly putting it out there, asking for feedback, and being conversational. I love. I love it. Well, Ashley, this is such a great episode. Yeah, fam, if you're looking to make a U-turn in your career, then there's so much for you to digest from this episode. Start off with figuring out who you are, identifying your core nature, your skill sets, your values, your interests, figure out what makes you

tick and don't be confined by limiting beliefs. Ashley, before we go, what is one actionable thing our young improfitters can do today to become more profitable tomorrow? I have to go back to the having more conversations. Think right now, who are five people or types of people that you should be talking to to expand your goals? Write them down, pick one, and go for it. And what is your secret to profiting in life? And this can go beyond careers or finance or anything like that? Sustainability. I think that in entrepreneurship, people talk too much about starting and making money and not enough about keeping it going. And keeping it going has to do a lot with what we talked about, which is your core energy levels.

So I've built a business that works with my energy levels. Sometimes I see you hollow and I'm like so inspired because you have so much energy. I'm more inward. So for me, I've built a business. I probably work like no more than three to four hours a day. And the things that I do do are with a lot of intention and power. And then I step back and honoring my core energy levels. That translates into my pricing, how many clients I take on, a lot of intention that

keeps me sustainable. And there's nothing more trite than someone who starts too strong and can't keep it up. And I don't want that for anybody listening. So interesting. You're so right. Everybody has different energy levels. And you can be successful no matter what your energy levels are because you're extremely successful as well, even though I'm more of the same person that works 12 to 15 hours a day, right? So it's just so different. Okay, where can our listeners find out about you? Get your book, You Turn. Tell us about your podcast. Tell us. where we can find you. Thank you for having me. You're so good at this. I can see why you're climbing in the charts and like making such an impact seriously. My website's Ashleystall.com,

STA-H-L. You'll find everything on there or my podcast, the U-Turn podcast, Y-O-U, my book, coaching everything that you could ever think about. And I would be so honored to hear from you on Instagram at Ashley Stahl. Let me know what you thought of this episode. Grateful to have Hala on my show, all your wisdom. And yeah, just so grateful to be here. With such a great conversation, you dropped so many gems, thank you so much, Ashley, for coming on Young and Profiting Podcast. Like me, you've probably heard a lot of people say, do what you love. It sounds right, it sounds nice, but it may not be. As Ashley Stahl told us today, you shouldn't be doing what you love. Instead, you should do what you are. So how do we do that exactly? Ashley says to start off by figuring out who you are, identify your core needs,

your skill set, your values, your interests. Figure out what makes you tick, and don't be confined by limiting beliefs. One good way to figure out what your core essence is is to ask other people, how does the room change when I walk in? How does the room feel different because I'm in it? This helps you figure out where you're at your best

and where you can have your greatest impact. And once you figure out what your core nature is, you can start to tune in to people who match your energy. I also love the three career lily pads that Ashley described. Which one do you find yourself on? Are you the first lily pad like most people, the one where you don't really love what you're doing, but you're finding a way to make it work?

Or are you on the second lily pad, actively experimenting to figure out your particular zone of genius? Or are you and your Dharma on the third lily pad? If so, lucky you. Finally, how can we tell when our pursuit of the right career is being held back by our own hang-ups. Ashley says that if we pay attention, we can often figure out

where things are going sideways in our heads when a thought or belief system you hold is not working for you. She says if you feel a little sickness in your chest as you go about your day at work, that could be what's holding you back. Take a moment and figure out what that limiting belief is,

what that feeling is, and why it's triggering you. Thanks for listening to this wonderful episode of Young and Profiting Podcast. I really appreciate all of my listeners. Shout out to you guys. Shout out to everybody who has been writing me awesome reviews. In fact, I'm going to read some of our recent reviews

because I love it when we get reviews. Loved it so much. I highly recommend all entrepreneurs and business-minded people to follow Halitaha's podcast. Very worth your time. I actually came to know Halitaha from LinkedIn, and I see it as a blessing for me. Just click and listen and there you go.

Cheers. Armando Kumbula. Thank you so much. much Armando from Mozambique. We're a global podcast, people. The podcast we didn't know we needed. Yap is the best of my new favorites. I recommend anyone interested or in business to take a listen. Thank you so much. Viva Woodlife. Worth listening. Prepare to be thoroughly entertained and inspired. This podcast is an incredible blend of high humor and powerful mindset hacks that will leave you feeling motivated to conquer any challenge that life throws your way. Thank you so much.

I mean, I never really get funny as a quality, but I really appreciate you think I'm funny. Well, thank you guys so much for tuning into this episode. Like I mentioned, I do this for my listeners. I love this podcast. I love being the host of this podcast. I hope you all are learning from this podcast. I hope you are sharing this podcast with your friends and family, spreading the podcast by word of mouth so that everybody can benefit their lives by listening to this show.

And if you prefer to watch your podcast videos, we upload all of our episodes onto our YouTube channel. Make sure you subscribe to our YouTube. You can also find me on Instagram at Yap with Hala or LinkedIn by searching my name. It's Hala Taha. I also want to shout out my incredible YAP team for all of their hard work behind the scenes. This is your host, Hala Taha, aka the podcast Princess, signing off.