Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - Chase Hughes: Hacking Human Behavior to Gain Influence | Human Behavior | E8

Episode Date: October 2, 2018

In this episode, Hala speaks with Chase Hughes, a leading military and intelligence behavior expert, and author of “The Ellipsis Manual,” which is known to be the most comprehensive mind control guide out there. Tune in to gain a 101 understanding of behavior science, specifically non-verbal analysis, behavior profiling and the qualities of authority— which you'll come to find out is a very important thing. You'll leave the episode with easy to implement tactics you can use to increase influence in everyday life.   Young and Profiting podcast is brought to you by audible. Get your FREE audiobook here: www.audibletrial.com/YAP Want to connect with other YAP listeners? Join the YAP Society on Slack: http://bit.ly/yapsociety Follow YAP on IG @youngandprofiting and Twitter @YAP_Podcast Reach out to Hala directly at [e-mail] Follow Hala on Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Follow Hala on Instagram: www.instagram.com/yapwithhala Check out our website to meet the team, view show notes and transcripts: www.youngandprofiting.com

You're listening to Yap, Young and Profiting Podcast, a place where you can listen, learn, and grow. I'm Halitaha, and today we're speaking with Chase Hughes, a leading military and intelligence behavior expert with 20 years of experience. The man has created some of the most advanced behavior skills courses available worldwide. This episode is centered on behavior science, specifically nonverbal analysis, behavior profiling, and the qualities of authority, which will come to find out is a very important thing. Chase U. spends most of his time training law enforcement

and government agents in the field. But he also wrote a powerful book called The Elypsis Manual, which is known to be the most comprehensive mind control and nonverbal analysis guide out there. But Chase also provides free tools to analyze human behavior for regular folks like us too. And my focus in this interview

will be to try to uncover easy to understand tactics that we can learn from Chase to improve our civilian lives. Hey, Chase, welcome to the show. Thanks, Hala. Glad to be here. So this isn't the first time our listeners have heard about body language. In fact, in my first episode, I covered how to make a great first impression.

And I had Dr. Jack Schaefer on the show talking about body language. Have you heard of him before? Absolutely, yeah. It's a brilliant guy. Yeah, I loved him. And that's really how I got started into body language. You know, read the likes, which is a pretty popular book. but hoping that in this episode we can take it to a whole new level.

Let's do it. So would you explain to our listeners who you are, what you do for your day job, and why you spent so many years studying the power of body language? I run a behavior science company based in Virginia Beach, and we teach behavior science to intelligence operations units, military, federal government. And for the first time ever in January, we're releasing all of our behavior training to the public. We have a seminar in London.

But we specialize in interrogation, behavior profiling, deception detection, interviewing techniques, and just behavior science in general that uses psychological tactics to gain compliance from people in the field. Very cool. And so why is body language so powerful? Why it's powerful? I'm not sure. I'm sure there's some evolutionary stuff that some smarter people than me could come up with. But I think that one of the things that's always fascinated me was that it makes up consensus is around two-thirds of communication of what's actually being communicated.

And we study it so infrequently. So like a Harvard psychologist, for example, would go through all of the school and maybe have about 20 minutes or less on nonverbal communication and body language, which is just astounding to me that there's a resounding amount of studies that say that it's so much of our communication and how vital and important it is. And not even our health care practitioners, our mental health practitioners, much less a regular doctor, get training in this kind of stuff. In your book, you talk about psychological loopholes and how our minds are wired to be manipulated. Can you talk about that a little bit? Sure. We have what I call the firewall

illusion or the firewall delusion, that we think that there's some kind of firewall in our brain that prevents us from being manipulated. We see someone else get manipulated and we say, oh, that would never happen to me. I would never obey in order to kill someone. I would never join a cult. I would never buy that thing just because a commercial told me to. And what's really funny is that the illusion, that just the belief, of you having a firewall makes you 10 times more manipulatable. And it makes you more easily influenced. And it's easier for someone to kind of hijack your brain.

Just imagine, like, if you thought that you could not be manipulated or controlled and someone was doing it to you, during the process of you being manipulated, you still feel safe. And you'll rationalize to yourself after the event occurs that you made your own choices and your own decisions. So I think something that could really set the stage is something I've heard you talk about before. It's called the Milgram experiment. Yeah. Would you describe that to our listeners who aren't familiar?

Sure. So the two-minute explanation of this is in 1962, there's a doctor, a Harvard psychologist named Dr. Stanley Milgram. And he was watching the war trials, which are called the Nuremberg trials, where they brought these Nazi war criminals and put them on trial and asked why they were. murdering people by the thousands. And the resounding answer from so many of these people was that they were just following orders. I was just following orders. And Milgram's parents were Jewish and actually made it out. But he wanted to prove. He wanted to figure out some way to scientifically prove whether or not it's possible that a person can just be following orders. So they have this experiment. You respond to this newspaper ad. They're going to pay for your meals. They'll pay you every day. So you go in there and there's a guy standing there in a lab coat and you draw straws.

It's just you and one other person. You draw a straw. One straw is the teacher. One straw is the learner. And in reality, the guy that you're in the room with is part of the experiment. You're the only person that's actually a participant. So you will always draw the teacher straw. So you and this other guy who's the student, the learner, go into this other room that's adjoining the room that you'll be sitting in.

And you watch him get sat down into a chair, and they say, we're doing a study on punishment and learning, and whether punishment improves a person's ability to learn. So you watch this guy get strapped to these electrodes that are specifically designed to deliver electric shocks when he gets a wrong answer. So they even put one on your arm and let you feel what the shock feels like, and it's pretty painful. So this guy's all strapped in, they shut the door, you're on the other side of the wall from this guy. They sit you down in front of this big control box. It's got voltage buttons on it, going from zero volts to 450, I think. And then after that, it says X, X, X, X, X, X, the final button.

So for every time this guy gets an answer wrong, which he does deliberately over and over again, you have to deliver increasing amounts of voltage. So in this room where you're seated in front of this big box, it's you, a clipboard, and you've got to read some words to this guy and ask him a question. and the other guy behind you is the guy in the lab coat who's running the experiment. So he's kind of the authority figure there. So delivering shocks above 400 could be potentially lethal. So these people are delivering shocks every time,

and it's getting increasing the guy screaming on the other side of the wall. You can hear him. He's pounding on the wall. Eventually, he says, I have a heart condition. I don't want to participate anymore. I'm out of here. Get me out of here. Just screaming.

Wow. And finally, around 350 to 400, volts, you hear no more sound at all. And he stops answering questions completely. And the guy in the lab coat says, any non-answer must be treated as an incorrect to answer. Continue the experiment, please. So keep shocking this guy. Keep going. So before this experiment started, this group of psychiatrists and psychologists sat down together, and they decided that about 0.01% of people, 0.01 would go all the way to killing the other person and all the way to the maximum. And as it turns out, 65% of people committed murder in less than an hour because a stranger told them to.

That's unbelievable. It is. And it's hard to think that we would do that. Everyone, of course, you ask like, would you ever do this? Of course. Everyone's going to say, no, never. I would never do this. And that illusion is what makes it dangerous, that when we're exposed to an authority figure,

our brains kind of switch off. And we go into what Stanley Milgram described as an agentic shift. So agentic being the root word being agent. So we become an agent for the other person to where the responsibility for our actions no longer rely on our shoulders. it's someone else's fault. So we obey authority figures with way more obedience and way more trust than we should place in those people. So for instance, the guy in the lab coat didn't have a doctor's ID on, wasn't wearing a stethoscope, it was just a good looking guy whose hair was recently cut, is well-spoken, well-mannered, and all he says to the participants in the experiment

is it's important that you continue. The experiment requires that you continue or please continue. Just a few phrases like that. And at no time did he force anyone to participate. But guess how many people shocked another person in the other room up to 100 volts? It was 100%. A hundred percent. And zero percent across the entire experiment, over thousands of people,

0% went into the other room to check on the other person. Yeah, it just speaks to how important is to kind of be conscious of the fact that everybody is so easily manipulated. And you can either be the one in control or you could be the one getting controlled. So really eye-opening. So glad that we're having this conversation. In your past to kind of getting people aware of all of this, you created something called the ellipsis system. Can you explain what that is? Yeah, so the ellipsis system was designed originally for intelligence operations.

So human psychological intelligence operations. So in a hypothetical environment here, Hala, I've got to send you, you're an intelligence asset. And I send you over to the Ukraine. And you have to meet with a guy you've never met before. And you have two hours to convince him to basically commit treason against his. own country and spy for you and give you information. And the ellipsis system was designed to create extreme compliance and extreme obedience in people. And it leverages behavior profiling, identifying needs, weaknesses, and insecurities. And then using all that information,

using psychological tactics, linguistic techniques, mixtures of neurolinguistic programming and hypnosis and a tremendous amount of authority, which is what caused people to commit murder in the Milgram experiment. That was pretty much 100% authority. So authority is very important. That's one of the reasons that we broke authority down and that if you had no persuasion or influence skills whatsoever, authority would be the most important part. But that's what the book was really written for.

And I didn't really realize that there was a civilian interest in psychology, mostly because I've been in the military my entire adult life. Yeah, and I'm really hoping to kind of pull out some of these examples that we could use. My listeners are typically like young professionals, entrepreneurs, students, so I'm really hoping we can pull out some stuff that is practical for us. Absolutely. You created something called the behavioral table of elements, and basically what that is, it's an analysis tool that scientifically categorizes human behavior.

It is so detailed. like you literally categorize every single thing a person could do in an interaction from moving their fingers or jaw clenching or face touching. It was so much detail. How did you develop that? How did you validate that? And how do you know that it works? Good question. I'll start from your last question and work backwards there. Sure. So we know that it works based off of over 35,000 hours of interrogation video analysis. And it's a bibliography for the behavioral table is about 120 pages long. So it's not all my research. It's almost none of my research, except for a few new cells that have been added. And the research goes back 150 years. And it's not perfect, but I think it's the best behavior

reading tool that humans have produced so far. And it was developed originally for an interrogator or a senior interrogation officer to watch an interrogation video and figure out where deception was so the interrogator could go back in the room and drill down on more questions. And after we release this thing, which is free to the public now, if you want the non-interactive version, just like the picture of it, it's free. We released this thing and there was a lot of public interest. Then it became a behavior training tool. Then the police started using this. The police have really taken off using this thing. And then it was in the business world. And then huge sales teams started using this thing.

And the origin of the behavioral table was probably 14 years, maybe 13 years ago. I was sitting with my mom watching an episode of The Bachelor. I was just visiting in town. I think we were just having a glass of wine. And my mom was kind of going through the girls on the Bachelor. And she was like, oh, I like her. This one's a total B. And just kind of explaining everything to me.

And I was like, well, the one you like would just lie to him when they were in the hot tub together. And I was a deception expert long before the creation of the behavioral table. And it was just a moment where my mom was like, Chase, I wish I could just have your eyes for one of these episodes and just watch it. So that night, I was just laying in bed thinking about like, how could I give another person my eyes? Is there a way to put all of my knowledge onto a single piece of paper I can give? So that was it. That became the behavioral table. It went from the bachelor and now to like hardcore interrogation scenarios. Yeah. And just to give our listeners some visual insight to what this looks like, it's basically like the table of elements that you would see in science class. But instead, Chase has identified the different movements and actions and even like conversational aspects that a person could do in an interaction and allows you.

to kind of categorize them and classify them and understand what to do next based on those actions. Chase, you might be able to explain it better than I did. Yeah, I mean, it looks like the periodic table of elements. And I think we could have easily just made it a big square. But I think making it kind of resemble the periodic table and kind of follow the structure. One, it was a really good idea the way the periodic table is laid out. But two, I think it's kind of cool. And it shows a little bit of familiarity when people look at it.

And we'll link to it in our show notes so you guys can take a look yourself. So like I mentioned before, the amount of depths that you go into this book is like insane. It's pretty overwhelming, to be honest. You talk about something that we always hear about. For example, crossing our arms. Intuitively, I always thought that meant something negative. Like we either impatient or frustration or maybe you're just trying to cover up your muffin top. It really could be anything.

But in your book, you go into the fact that you need to pay attention, to the closeness of palms to the body, the direction the thumbs are pointing, the distance from the torso. And it was just so overwhelming. And I'm wondering, like, who can actually pay attention to this stuff? Like, is it really possible to memorize what people are doing and then to go back and evaluate what everybody is doing? How does someone go about, like, training themselves and how long does that take for someone to become an expert? At Yap, we have a super unique company culture. We're all about obsessive excellence. We even call ourselves scrappy hustlers. And I'm really picky when it comes to my employees. My team is growing

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years and years. But being good at reading body language does not take an expert level of skill. And a lot of people assume at the very beginning that they see this giant behavior table, I'm like, okay, I need to make flashcards, I need to memorize all this stuff. And you really don't. You read up on this stuff and then you watch human behavior. So if you just spent two weeks just watching human behavior, watching fingers, watching eyes, watching facial muscles move, watching the body, the way people's posture tilts, all of this stuff, how fast or how often someone is blinking or breathing during your conversation, just observing this stuff without trying to make meaning of any of it, just observing it for its own sake. So you start to get a habit, you're starting

to push yourself into a habit of just observing behavior. And then after time, you start reading about more behavior and reading about more behavior and then you won't have to interpret anything you'll kind of start to develop an intuition so it's not like learning geometry or some skill i would say it's more akin to learning a motorcycle like we have a lot of things going on at one time and it's best to just master one thing at a time until it moves from the front of your brain where you have to pay attention to it to the back of your brain to where it's kind of automatic so like driving was really hard first until you got good at it and now you can kind of zone out on your way home from work. So it'll become unconscious, but I'd say the most important thing to being able to read people,

and this is a skill that everyone needs. Like if you're in sales, you're in the human behavior business. If you're in business, you deal with human behavior on a regular basis. So being able to see this stuff and really understand what it means is so critical. I mean, even if it's two-thirds and not 90% of communication, like a lot of studies suggest, it's more than half of communication and we almost deliberately ignore it. So I think once you're able to start seeing behavior, just watching it for its own sake, and then learning more about it, the first thing that usually happens to people is that

it's really depressing because you will see suffering and insecurity and fear in every person that you meet. But in the end, suffering is like the universal law of human beings. Everyone is suffering. Everyone's going through something. Everyone is self-conscious. I've never met a non-self-conscious person. So I think what that does after you kind of get over like, yeah, everybody's screwed up. It gets to a place where people are more approachable and they're more human.

So it just kind of humanizes everybody. And it takes away a lot of your own social anxiety once you can see how screwed up everybody else is. Yeah. I hope that one day I'll be able to do this. For now, I just need to practice. And I think that you mention that using different TV shows is a good way to start getting familiar with everything, right? Yeah, I had a client recently who was training with me, and she wanted to bring up her favorite reality show at the time, which was called Catfish. And I had never heard of it. I'm not a big TV guy, But it's this show on MTV where these people pretend to be like a hot guy or a hot girl and like lure these people into these relationships online.

And then, of course, it comes up in this big crescendo, this emotional crescendo at the end where there's a big reveal and stuff. But it's very telling because it's not fiction. So it's kind of a reality show. So you get to see a whole lot of facial expressions of emotion. That's one of the good ones. And then if you want to look for anxiety, I would watch Conan O'Brien interview. viewing almost anybody will produce anxiety behavior. So some of the more interesting body signals that I kind of came across in your book were

yawning, eye blink rate, palm exposure, inward toe pointing, and shoe removal. Do you want to just speak to some of those and give examples of what these body signals mean? Absolutely. So one thing that your listeners could take away right now is blink rate. This is how often, not how fast, but how often someone blinks. And the less often we blink, the more interested and absorbed we are in a conversation. So the last time you watched your favorite movie, a movie that you really liked, which for me would be like Interstellar. When I watched Interstellar, my blink rate was probably between a 7 and a 12 blinks per minute.

And if you think back to like when you took the math portion of your SATs, or you're taking a really, hard exam on college. Your blink rate can go up to like 55 per minute without you even noticing that there was a shift. So stress increases behavior, so does some kinds of discomfort. So like if you're on a date and the blink rate is really low, you don't have to count per minute. You just see whether or not it's speeding up, slowing down, whether or not it's slow or it's fast. So you shift conversation topics and if you're a guy and you start talking about like how you change your transmission out on your car and all the process of how to do that. And you see the blink rate go up. Yeah, it's time to change the subject. And as a public speaker, I speak to crowds of 200 or 300 on a

regular basis. One thing that I do is I take a few people in the first two rows. And as I'm making eye contact, I'm taking the blink rate of the average of the room to measure the interest of everyone in the room. So as I'm moving around, I can see how often people are blinking because I'm making eye contact with people in the audience. I know when everybody's interested in the topic, I can keep going a little bit or when I just need to kind of move forward. Something else I found interesting was the shoe removal concept. So from what I remember, it's if you take off your shoe, it means that you're comfortable, you're confident, you feel secure. And I do notice that when I'm in a meeting with top executives, they're the ones that are like playing with their shoes.

Yeah, absolutely. It's usually the person who's most comfortable does it first. With his authority gives permission for other people to also relax. Yeah, and I wonder if they know about it and they're doing it on purpose or if it's just subconscious, but probably subconscious, right? I bet most of it's unconscious. Yeah, I've trained a lot of executives who are behaviorally illiterate. So something else you cover in your book is the 17 human needs and profiling them for weaknesses. We obviously don't have time to cover them all, but can you talk about why it's important to understand people's motivations and explain that to our listeners? Absolutely. So, one of the biggest things that you can do when you're talking with someone is just kind of ask yourself

questions during the conversation, something like what makes this person feel significant? What kind of compliments do this person's friends give them that makes them feel good? So in the very beginning of an interaction, you'll hear those questions and you'll hear the answers to those questions. So you'll see either where they need acceptance or approval or appreciation of some sort. If you want to break it down without going into the needs, there's just six basic questions that you can use during a conversation. Number one, what need are they showing me right now? So is it a need for significance, acceptance, approval, appreciation, need for variety and multiple experiences?

Next would be what do they like to be complimented on? Number three would be what makes them feel strong. wrong. Number four, what do they avoid in order to be happy or feel happy? Number five, what does happy sound like in their words and their tone? So what words do they use when they're talking about something they enjoy, which are words that you can later use during the conversation? And number six, what is at the end? Where do they want to end up? So those six questions will help you in pretty much any conversation that you could have, especially in social scenarios. And you call these X-ray questions, right?

Yes. Yeah, maybe what I'll do is write those out in the show notes for people's reference. That'd be awesome. So something else I think our listeners would find very useful is your five qualities of authority. And I thought maybe we could go into some detail here. The five qualities are control, discipline, leadership, gratitude, and enjoyment. Could you just go through each one and talk about the things you think are most important to discuss? Yes, and since we've done some more research, we've replaced control with confidence.

So it's confidence, discipline, leadership, gratitude, and enjoyment. So those five factors pretty much give you authority. So having that confidence or just being completely certain that the positive outcome is going to happen helps you to have more control over the social situation. So those five qualities alone, if you were just to work on those in your own, own life. Those give you that social authority. Those are what trigger in people's brain. So think of like the Milgram experiment or any experiment that's been done on authority. That authority figure has to have those five qualities in order to control the outcome,

to define what the situation means or what they call setting a frame. And that authority figure has to have those five qualities in order to get compliance or obedience or attention or focus. from anyone in the room. So in your opinion, what does it take to have confidence or have discipline or have leadership? Can you talk a little deeper about that? Sure. So I would say that confidence especially is one of the most important. So confidence by itself doesn't really do anything without the other four, just like everything else. They need each other to survive. But in order to have confidence, let's say, all of these go from a one to five. I developed what I call the authority assessment scale to see where a person is on each one of these. So like a level one would be a burden on other people.

A level two would be developing. Level three, be positive. Four is inspirational and five is contagious. So like on a confidence, a level one would be like you're unable to start conversations with a stranger. You have a sense of panic when you're meeting new people, Unable to introduce yourself to strangers, you're socially withdrawn, unable to accept compliments from people, take criticism way too personally, unable to offer your own opinions in most conversations, gripping or frequent indecision, giving up on goals regularly and changing yourself to please other people. So that would be like a level one. And a level five where you're contagious. So your confidence is contagious to the point where other people are around you, they become confident. That would be like you're able to converse with anyone, at any one, Anytime you receive criticism well, regardless of the source. Your self-image is really positive. You have no need for reassurance. Take action, like physical action with your body, without reservation or hesitation. And you tactfully stop all negativity when it's being discussed around you. You set detailed and relevant goals. Others tend to emulate your behavior and personality traits at the level five level of all of these. Yeah, that's so interesting. I feel like if there was one thing that every professional could use is this assessment tool and making sure they kind of move up the ladder in a positive way. I'll definitely send one to you for the show notes. Awesome. Okay, something else I just want to touch on is I was listening to an interview that you had recently and you were talking about how you're able to tell a lot about a person just by having a phone conversation with them. Can you talk about how your personal life can leak out and your external actions and everything? that you do and how we kind of have to have our own discipline in our personal lives. Absolutely.

And this is one of the most critical things for somebody to really understand that on the phone, it comes in the form of hesitation. It comes in the form of people saying, um, or ah, or hedging some of the stuff they know, like they have question marks on the ends of their sentences. So they're inviting other people to agree with them, even though it's a statement. And over the phone, especially, you'll hear the indecisions, you'll hear people that kind of have non-decisive language like I just did with the word kind of, and I just slipped it in. So this overall sense of confidence or discipline or leadership bleeds out into your personal life. So a good example would be the last time that you went to a party,

or the last time you went out to a concert or something, and you left a job. pile of laundry undone or you left a huge pile of dishes in the sink or you're late on your bills or you meant to wash your car that day but you didn't and it looks like it's disgusting so something was left undone part of our brain i don't know which part i don't think anyone does but there's part of our brain that's dedicated to reminding us when we've forgotten to do something or when we've neglected something and no matter how confident your body language is, no matter how in control and how many tactics and cool stuff you learn on YouTube or how many articles you read about how to appear more confident, it's going to look

confident on the exterior. But the event will happen to the point where the person gets the feeling like something's not right. And we've all experienced that with one or two people, at least in our lives, to where we're talking to somebody. Everything looks right on the exterior, but something feels off. Something doesn't match. So this incongruence, there's an incongruence in the physical behavior of the person you're speaking to and something that's leaking out. We call this nonverbal leakage. Young and profitors. I know there's so many people tuning in right now that end their workday wondering why certain tasks take forever, why they're procrastinating certain things, why they don't feel confident in their work, why they feel drained and frustrated and unfulfilled.

But here's the thing you need to know. It's not a character flaw that you're feeling this way. It's actually your natural wiring. And here's the thing. When it comes to burnout, it's really about the type of work that you're doing. Some work gives you energy and some work simply drains you. So it's key to understand your six types of working genius. The working genius assessment or the six types of working genius framework was created by Patrick

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It makes doing business so much easier. Make this the year where no opportunity and no customer slips away. Try Quo for free plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to Quo.com slash profiting. That's QUO.com slash profiting. Quo. No missed calls, no missed customers. So we are somehow unconsciously communicating to their unconscious that we're not actually confident. We're not actually a good leader. We neglected something at home. So my key, point is that if you don't have what we call the five mastery zones of authority, if you don't have those things handled in your personal life, it's going to leak out in every conversation, every day of your life. Sometimes you might get away with it and a person may not notice. Most of the time, something is going to feel off about the conversation to the other person. And those mastery zones are environment, time, appearance, social, and financial. And they have to be

done in order. So like you get your environment. handle. You make your bed. You pick up after yourself. You don't leave messes. You don't make mess. And you don't walk past a mess ever. Like your environment is controlled, not by anyone else, but like you are in control of your environment. That helps build the confidence. And then you start controlling your time. You manage your time and you cannot manage time without priorities. Because whenever you hear somebody says, well, I don't have time for that. It just means it's not a priority. I don't have time to go to the gym means gym's not a priority. I don't have time. time to eat right. Eating right is not a priority. So controlling your time, getting control over your time.

And then your physical appearance, there are thousands of research studies that say better looking people, not just genetically better looking, but people who are well taken care of, people who look fit and look happy and look confident, receive lesser prison sentences. They're more likely to get out of a traffic ticket. They'll have better pay at jobs. They're more likely to get hired. around our entire society, this appearance plays a major role. And it plays a major role in your authority, too, when you speak to other people, whether you're in sales, business, it doesn't matter, or you're working at William Sonoma. It doesn't matter. Appearance comes after that. And after that is your social skills, your social development. So being able to carry on a regular

conversation, can I make small talk? Can I tell a compelling story to someone that I just met without like closing off. So forcing yourself to develop social muscles is really important. And finally, the financial part, even if your finances are screwed up, your credit is screwed up, go see somebody now. Just having your brain start to understand that you're getting back on track will shut off that leakage. So just starting to bring that under control or grab the steering wheel and like drive it back

onto the road where it's supposed to be with your finances, that stops the nonverbal leakage of irresponsibility to some degree. That's super, super helpful advice. I feel like if everybody could just make a little movement in those areas, we'll all be in a better place. Okay, so I thought maybe we could close out the episode with some practical scenarios. I think a really interesting one could be a networking event. Being at a networking event, what are the kind of behaviors that we should look out for? How should we act ourselves? Can you kind of just, describe like what an ideal situation would be in terms of a networking event? Absolutely. And if you want this from like a intelligence training perspective, the first thing you need to do before the network

event starts is to push yourself as hard as you freaking can to get up to a level five on confidence, leadership, discipline, gratitude, and enjoyment. That alone will make you more magnetic than anyone else in the room. So that being said, everyone wants to teach you the tricks. Here's what to say. here's how to shake someone's hand. You need to make eye contact. You need to smile. You need to show your teeth when you smile, even if they don't look great. So these are all little tricks. And when you see like networking tricks, how to meet new people, all of that are ways to pretend like you've got your stuff together. So if you think about all the tricks and tactics of persuasion, they're all ways to pretend or kind of fake someone out into thinking that you have either confidence, discipline,

leadership, gratitude, or you're enjoying yourself. All of those things. So getting those handled beforehand means you're not going to have to worry about the tricks when you're meeting new people. But at a networking event, I would say the number one quality that you can have is a genuine interest in other people. At a networking event, everyone wants to talk about themselves, talk about their new product that they're launching, the business they're working on, and they want to talk about their goals, which goes back to that six questions. So those are just kind of those x-ray questions will really help you out in a conversation. And just talking to people and having that genuine interest.

And making people feel interesting is more important than making them feel interested. So at the networking event, if you're going to a networking event, be the first one to introduce yourself. Be the first one to introduce a stranger you just met to another stranger that you just met. You become the network. So you become the web as much as possible to the furthest extent to introduce other people that you just met to someone else that you just met. And you kind of be the glue that kind of holds everybody together. Be the first one to hand out your business card, be the first one to reach out. I've been to some networking events here in Virginia Beach.

And you see people that are afraid to talk to each other who came to an event specifically designed for people to talk to each other. So I would say if there's any place on earth where you have permission. to go talk to strangers anytime you want, it's a networking event. And that's one of your chances also to start boosting up the social part of the authority mastery zone. Very cool. Very good advice. Scenario number two, a conflict with an individual, whether that's work or school. Awesome. So this one, I will give you a few tips and tricks, although I'm a firm believer that you can learn 99% of your leadership lessons from watching episodes of Andy Griffith. And I would say if you're having to have a difficult conversation with someone, you have to announce their point of view before you begin speaking or before you start talking about anything that's on your agenda to speak about.

Always start the conversation with, I realize it's got to be really tough for you to be able to do X, Y, and Z, or I can't imagine that you have to deal with this and this and this. So you have to start out by realizing that other person's point of view. which I learned from Andy Griffith. I would say the best thing you can do is deliver it quick and have the conversation as quick as possible. And only speak in terms of effect, not your opinion on how the person has done something wrong or somehow transgressed against the company values

or something like that. Only speak in terms of the effect that the behavior has had instead of how the behavior is bad. And how can we kind of judge how well the conversation is going, like if we're making an impact and improving our relationship in the conversation. You're going to see a decrease in blink rate once they realize there's not going to be a fight. They're not going to get yelled at and there's no argument. They're being given a second chance most of the time. And as you start talking about the effect it has, you'll start to see head nodding

and you'll see breathing into the stomach instead of the chest. But while you start nodding your head during the conversation and you're talking about the effect on the company or the effect on the business, you'll see a co-knodding or them nodding their head with you. And as you finish or start wrapping up talking about the effect they have had on the company or like the negative part of the conversation, you will start to see relaxation. That means there's more agreement there. That means there's less anger. So a person who's really pissed off and is going to remain pissed off when they go out of the office,

they'll stay closed. Their behavior is going to stay closed even after the negative information. a person who's kind of accepting of the negative information or the difficult conversation, you'll see their hands start to open up, their legs start to open up, their shoulders will kind of fall down just a little bit, their breathing weight's going to slow down, and their blink rate will also slow down as the stress kind of releases and they realize they have a second chance or that they've taken the lesson on. Got it. Well, that was excellent. I think both of those scenarios will be very helpful to everybody

listening to the show. So Chase, I want to be conscious of our time. So where can our listeners find everything that you do or learn more about everything that you do? Yeah, they can Google my name, Chase Hughes, or they can go to our website, which is ellipsisbehavior.com. On the website, there's tons of training on there that's free, tons of behavior profiling training that's free, and they can download all kinds of free resources because most of my target market is to the federal government or local police agencies. So stuff I do for the public is usually free. Got it. And your book is called the ellipsis manual, correct? Yes, the ellipsis manual. We just hit 18 months on the number one bestseller list on

Amazon. Wow. And do you plan on putting that on Audible because I'm sure everybody listening to this podcast loves audio? Yes. In all honesty, putting it on Audible has been a tremendous endeavor for me because I would get a sample and the guy sounds weird. It's kind of like a nasally voice. Then everybody says you should do it in your own voice. Yeah, you have a great voice. Do it in your own voice. Thank you. I would so listen to that. I may do it. And as soon as I find, I think there's probably studios out here. I haven't done my own research on doing my own audio book, but I'm sure there's somewhere out here that does it. All right, cool. So thank you so much for joining the show. Like we mentioned, we're going to have all of our different resources in the show notes.

So for the folks that want to explore more, they'll have the mechanism to do that. And I definitely want to thank you for your time. This was very interesting. And I hope you have a great rest of your day. Thanks, Hala. Great to be on the show. Thanks for listening to Young and Profiting Podcast. Follow Yap on Instagram at Young and Profiting and follow me on LinkedIn.

Just search for my name, Hala Taha. Thanks to our amazing producers, Daniel McFatter, and Timothy Tan. and the entire Yap team, Kayla, Whitney, and our two newest team members, Stephanie and Christian. I hope you enjoyed the content, and if you did, help us out by writing a review. And don't forget to subscribe or follow Yap on your favorite platform to always keep up. And by the way, you can find us on Spotify now. Catch you next time. This is Hala, signing off.