Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - Ed Mylett: The Power of One More | E173

Episode Date: June 6, 2022

Do you want to be happier and wealthier? Don’t let your mindset or fear hold you back. Peak performance expert and best-selling author Ed Mylett wants to help you achieve your goals and become the best version of yourself. Through visualization, hyper-focus, setting goals with intention, and his “one more day” technique, Ed believes you, too, can make your dreams reality. In this episode, Hala and Ed chat about Ed’s new book, The Power of One More, Ed’s childhood and how it influenced his life, why Ed believes in the importance of “touching” your dreams, the role of the Reticular Activating System (RAS) and how we can program it to help us, the trilogy of identity, the role intention plays in setting goals, and everything he’s learned along the way.    Topics Include: - Ed’s difficult childhood and his transformation into self-confidence - How he mastered communication skills  - Ed’s father’s struggle with sobriety and how Ed knows that people can change - Experience working at a home for underprivileged boys (orphanage) - The importance of focus and getting good at one thing  - The need to experience/touch your dreams  - The role of the Reticular Activating System (RAS) - Repeated hyper visualizations of your dreams - How to program RAS in the right way    - Defining identity and how it’s shaped in childhood - The trilogy of identity - The role intention plays in achieving goals  - How does Ed design his social circle? - Difference between self-confidence and identity - How the loss of his uncle impacted his health  - How he sets goals and standards   - What Ed means by blissful dissatisfaction  - Ed’s actionable advice  - Ed’s secret to profiting in life - And other topics…  Ed Mylett is a business leader, peak performance expert, life and business strategist, author, and podcaster. Ed got his start in the financial services industry, where his success earned him a spot on the Forbes 50 Wealthiest Under 50 List. Ed is now involved in a range of ventures, including technology, real estate, health, food/nutrition, and more.  Ed is the author of Max Out Your Life and The Power of One More - The Ultimate Guide to Happiness and Success (June 2022). He is also the founder and host of his podcast and YouTube Channel, The Ed Mylett Show. Sponsored By: First Person - Go to getfirstperson.com and use code YAP to get 15% off your first order Wise - Join 13 million people and businesses who are already saving, and try Wise for free at Wise.com/yap Zapier - Try Zapier for free today at zapier.com/YAP Shopify - Go to shopify.com/profiting, for a FREE fourteen-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features GEM - Now get 30% off your first order when you go to dailygem.co/YAP. Resources Mentioned: The Power of One More: https://thepowerofonemore.com/  The Ed Mylett Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ed-mylett-show/id1181233130 Ed’s books: https://www.amazon.com/Ed-Mylett/e/B07G7H2JTB  Ed’s Website: https://www.edmylett.com/ Ed’s Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/edmylett/ Ed’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/EdMylett  Ed’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/edmylett Ed’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EdMylettFanPage Connect with Young and Profiting: Hala’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/htaha/     Hala’s Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/yapwithhala/     Hala’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/yapwithhala  Clubhouse: https://www.clubhouse.com/@halataha   Website: https://www.youngandprofiting.com/  Text Hala: https://youngandprofiting.co/TextHala or text “YAP” to 28046 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Source. Taxes and other fee still apply. You're listening to YAP, Young and Profiting Podcast. A place where you can listen, learn, and profit. Welcome to the show. I'm your host, Halla Taha, and on Young and Profiting Podcast, we investigate a new topic each week and interview some of the brightest minds in the world. My goal is to turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your everyday

life, no matter your age, profession or industry. There's no fluff on this podcast and that's on purpose. I'm here to uncover value from my guests by doing the proper research and asking the right questions. If you're new to the show, we've chatted with the likes of XFBI agents, real estate moguls, self-made billionaires, CEOs, and bestselling authors. Our subject matter ranges from enhancing productivity,

had to gain influence, the art of entrepreneurship, and more. If you're smart and like to continually improve yourself, hit the subscribe button because you'll love it here at Young & Profiting Podcast. This week on YAP, we're chatting with Peak Performance Expert, Global Keynote Speaker, Podcaster Phenomenon, and Bestselling Author, Ed Mylett. Ed started off his career in the financial services industry, climbing up the

corporate ladder at World Financial Group. He eventually left his executive position to set out on his own as an entrepreneur. Today, Ed is an uber successful business mogul holding stake in a few dozen companies across technology, real estate, health and nutrition, and he has a reported net worth of over $450 million. Ed is also the best-selling author of Max Out Your Life, and his new book The Power of One More just dropped earlier this week. Ed's weekly podcast, The Ed My Let's Show, is frequently ranked as the number one entrepreneurship podcast on Apple.

Now Ed might seem like he always has had it going on, but he actually didn't come from a wealthy family. In fact, Ed's childhood was far from idyllic, but it's what Ed learned through overcoming hardships and challenges that makes him the charismatic, genuine, and motivational leader that he is today. And that's why I'm super excited to bring you this conversation. It's honestly one of my favorites so far all year. In this episode, Ed and I talk about his father's struggle

with sobriety and what it taught him about the ability to transform. We learn why Ed believes you need to touch your dreams in order to make them a reality, and we take a close look at his new book, The Power of One More, digging into topics like regulating our identity, programming our reticular activating systems,

and we hear his top tips to build self-confidence and so much more. If you're looking to be inspired, change your life for the better and get everything you've ever wanted, you've got to hear what Ed has to share. I promise you're gonna love this one. Hey Ed, welcome to Young & Profiting Podcasts. Thank you for having me. I've been looking forward to this all day. I'm excited. Me too. I'm psyched. You are one of my favorite podcasters.

We interview a lot of the same people. And so I usually listen to your show before the guest comes on my show. I study with your show. And so you're one of my go-tos. And for those who may not know you, you're renowned keynote speaker, a performance coach, an entrepreneur, and a best-selling author. You're worth hundreds of millions of dollars. You've built nine

figure businesses, and now you hold ownership stake in 23 different companies. So that's all really exciting stuff. You also just launched, are you about to launch your newest book called The Power of One More? It comes out in June. So we're gonna dive into all of that, but before we get into it, I always like to take it back to your younger years and you were way different back then. I think it's gonna be super inspiring for my listeners to hear how you've transformed. So based on my research, you grew up in California,

you were the only boy and a family with three younger sisters. You were a scrawny kid, nicknameed Eddie Spaghetti, and you seem really confident and outgoing, but it turns out you weren't always like this. So talk to us about what you were like as a child and a team. Thank you for preparing so well.

That's awesome. I respect that because I do have a show. Child, insecure, shy, anxiety, fear, depressed. That sounds good, doesn't it? Ha, ha. I'm a child of an alcoholic father. So I was raised at the power of one more the book I have is a lot of lessons

in my life about that. But so when you're raised with a dysfunctional family, you just grow up with anxiety and you don't grow up feeling very good about yourself. So many mornings I would leave my house just ashamed and why do I have to come from this family when everyone's got a normal family? And then I was small, like you said, I got bullied a lot in school. And so I got into personal development. By the way, my dad, the good news is my dad got sober and completely changed his life, which we'll

talk about. Funny thing, my dad got sober on 420. So my dad, my favorite day is 420, which is hilarious. Only my dad would do that. But what happened for me was that I was good in sports, I was a good baseball player. So that was the one place I could flourish. But I had to learn about personal development and self-help and the strategies of building confidence and visualizations and your particular activating system in your brain and all these other things, just to become a baseline functioning human being. And then when I got there, I'm like, wow, I'm good at this. I have my own strategies, my own style, my own things I've learned that are sort of my recipe. And then I started to take them to another level.

And then I think I became a pretty self-confident person. It doesn't mean that I still don't struggle with some insecurity or fears, because I do. But I transformed myself with the stuff that I write about in this book because I had to. And so when you say hundreds of millions of dollars and all that, that still to this day is so bizarre to me that that's true

Like had you met me at any age like even high school I wasn't like a loser in high school. I was just like oh there's Eddie any my let you know just another dude You would have never picked me. I didn't have great grades, but I wasn't the dumbest kid You know what I mean like I just was there. I was just a dude Yeah, it's so interesting how people transform and you always talk about those small actions that really compound over time. And so for you is hard work. It's not like you've this extraordinary, I heard you on an interview say that you had a very average IQ. It's not like you're some very extraordinary,

smart person. You just work hard, right? Yeah, well, I work smart too. So I'm not high IQ. In fact, the funny thing, I recently for the second time, just for fun in my family, there's my wife and two kids, we took the IQ test again, I'm fourth out of four in our own house. So kind of good. I know my limitations, I got to outwork people, but I also have to have stuff that I can kind of cut corners on in life that are legal. You know what I mean? Legal corner cutting that speed things up. So I've learned all these strategies about my time and my standards and my particular

activating system and my brain and how to program it. So yeah, I don't come to the table. Nor do I want you. If I were brilliant, I couldn't give people hope. If there was something super special about me, then I believe average ordinary people every day build extra ordinary lives. And as you know, I coach some of the top people in the world, whether it's politics or entertainment or athletes and some of them have extra ordinary abilities.

And some of them don't. And I've seen both types of people achieve in life. I'm just the one with not great abilities or talents that have achieved some pretty good stuff. Yeah. Well, you do have some great talents. You're an amazing communicator. And speaking of that, how did you learn how to master those skills at such a young age?

Well, I'm watching you do it. So I'd be curious how you did it. But I, young I wasn't. In fact, my biggest fears was public speaking. But the Paulian Hill says, and think and grow rich. On the other side of temporary pain, you meet your other self. So if you can go through I've a chapter in the book called One More Inconvenience, and

I literally teach you how to chase inconvenient things. And so one of the most inconvenient things I could ever do would be to get up and speak in public. Actually, even to speak in private, like just three people in a room would be hard for me. But on the other side of that discomfort and that pain, I really learned a gift that I had. And you know, God did give me a really pretty good, deep voice.

I could have known that all along, but I didn't. And then what I did is I studied speakers, but not like public speakers. That's why my style is sort of different and why I just, there's a survey just came out, and rake me the number one speaker in the world. I'm like, wow, and to think 25 years ago, I never have done it. Cause I didn't study speakers.

I've studied comedians. I've studied my favorite standups. And most of my best friends are standups. You know, I go to comedy clubs. Those are the best communicators on the planet to walk in a room full of strangers and make them laugh within 20 seconds. The way they use nuance, positioning their body language, phrase, theology, the way they use silence, the way they use tonality.

And then I also watch a lot of preachers. I've watched a lot of pastors over my lifetime, like TV pastors and stuff, because they're incredible orators. Now, I'm not like any of them, but I'm a little bit like all of them. And so that's how I actually did it was modeling. I think one of the lost art forms in the world is modeling people, like not copying, but modeling them, and then making it your own nuanced style. So that's the exact answer of how I did it.

Yeah, that's really interesting. You do sort of have that like comedian slash preacher approach with your communication style. That's really interesting. So let's talk about transformations. So you recently lost your father. I did as well. I think we lost our dads around the same time.

He actually lived sort of two lives. I think you were 15 years old, he got sober, right? And he basically transformed into this whole other person. And I'm sure that had a lot to do with your personal transformation as well. And your ability to believe that people can change, right? So can you talk to us about that? You nailed it. So my belief that human beings can change is not a belief.

It's a knowing. And it's a knowing because I watched my hero do it. First 15 years of my life, my dad got sober seven days before my 15th birthday. And I told you it was 420. And it was nine days after his birthday. The rest of my life, my dad never sobered as actual birthday.

He only still ridded his sobriety birthday. Wow. I believe human beings can change and know they can't because I watched my hero do it. First 15 years, my dad didn't live right. Did not live well at all. Last 35 extraordinary best life I've ever watched be lived. And so I know people can change.

And it made a huge impact on me though my dad got sober, but there's the one more's like out of the book, those lessons started with his sobriety. We're driving, never seen my dad cry before. We're driving to a baseball game of mine and he's crying when he's driving. I'm like, oh no, what's going on?

And finally he pulls over and he goes, hey, I'm going to go try to get sober one more time because he had tried many times. And he said, I'm going to give it one more try. There's a chapter in the book called One More Try. That's a dad. What would be any different this time? And he said, I'm going to lose everything. My mom's taking you and the girls.

So I'm going to lose my family. And you know what, you deserve a dad. You can be proud of your mom deserves a husband she can respect. And then he got sober. That's a daddy. Are you gonna stay sober forever? You're never gonna drink again.

He goes, I don't know. I'm just not gonna drink for one more day. And there's been so many times in our life. So we have to think, we think everything we have to decide is permanent. The truth is very few things are permanent. We both lost our fathers. Like, their bodies weren't permanent.

It turns out, right? They're temporary. And most things are temporary. So in business, many times I was going to quit because this idea never quit. That's a hard thing to make. But a lot of times I went, you know what? Okay. I just won't quit for one more day. See how I do tomorrow. And then the next day, I just won't quit for one more day. And those one more started to really stack up. If I could tell you something that's new, that is just a new breakthrough for me. It's a long and good to apologize, but I wanted to share it with you because I already love you because the way you prepare.

So I'll share something extra with you. I wrote this whole book about all these lessons. It's a very heavy book. There's a lot of detailed stuff on your brain and confidence and identity and time management and leadership and equanimity and it's heavy. This is not like another book. Like, you know, most books are just another book. It's the same book. I agree. I read a book like every two books a week because of this job and I felt like it was new stuff. Thank you. Yeah. Like I'm just,

I love thinking, grow rich, but about every book I read is like the same derivative of it. Like in some one other's words. And I'm like, I already read this book. I already read it. I stop reading it. And so this isn't that. But my I woke up about two weeks ago, it's been three weeks now, and I woke my wife up and I said, babe, and I was pretty emotional. I said, babe, I want everyone to hear this. You can just remember this the rest of your life. It's not even in my book. I said, babe, someone helped my dad. And it never occurred to me before. She says, what, she's waking up. I said, someone helped my dad. The most important decision of my entire life is my dad getting sober. It's why I'm talking to millions of up. I said, someone helped my dad. The most important decision of my entire life is my dad getting sober.

It's why I'm talking to millions of people. Our kids, our grandkids, millions of people have reached some precious soul. Helped my daddy in the darkest moment, the most shameful, down moment of his life. Some human being rose up in their humanity to that moment and saved our family. And I don't know who they are.

And it never occurred to me before. And I said, babe, it goes a level deeper. What qualified this person to help my dad? The thing they were the most ashamed of in embarrassed by, they were also an alcoholic and a drug addict at one point. So the things they were the most ashamed of, most embarrassed by, that they think just qualified them the most from winning.

Because most people listen to your show, they're like, yeah, but I'm young and you don't know about me. But like I done this stuff on embarrassed by I never did this. Well, I broke up with my boyfriend or girlfriend or my first business failed. Not me. I'm disqualified. The very things you're most embarrassed about ashamed of or

think our average about you are the things that are qualifying you to change people's lives. This person, imagine when they were drinking, drive and drunk, making the biggest mistakes of life, little did they know they were preparing for that moment to change my dad's life and mine. And then millions of other people by extension, the ripple effect.

When they were doing drugs and stealing money and lying, they were preparing. It's your humanity, it's your frailties, it's your weaknesses, it's the things you're most vulnerable when you share with other people and then show them how to do something better that changes people's lives. When you link your weakness, like I start out, I'm dumb. I'm not the dumbest guy in the world, but I'm the smartest guy in the world.

People go, I can't believe you say that about yourself. It's what helps me connect with you. If I had a 250 IQ, you'd be like, well, this dude's amazing. Of course you did. No, I got a 760 on my SATs. I'm a C plus student. I was not, you know, I didn't run a 444-40, like I'm just an average guy. And you know what, that's what prepares me to help you. And so that person's drug and alcohol addiction

is what prepared them to change millions of people's lives. So never disqualify yourself. Wow, that was powerful. I had chills while you were telling that story. I love that. We are definitely going to cover a lot in your book and I definitely want to spend about half the interview on that. But I do want to cover your journey and I have a lot of questions for you personally. So let's get the highlight real. I don't think we have time to go through your entire

journey. But why don't we start with your first job out of college. So you're unemployed, you're living in the house that you grew up in and your dad told you to go work at a home for under-privileged boys. So talk to us about how that experience changed your life. My dad came home from his first AA meeting. He that crazy. He just got sober. Wow. He goes, hey, I got you a job and I said, what is it? He goes, you don't get to pick, man, you're eating out of my fridge. I had just finished college. I was not employed. I go down there and it's an orphanage. My boys were all words of the court, meaning their families were gone or they were taken from my boys. Their parents either molested them. No, man. We're dead,

or we're incarcerated for major crimes. And so I walked into college eight. My boys were all eight to 10 years old. I had no preparation to be there. I was not a psychologist. I didn't have any kids in my own, and I didn't know what I was doing there. And I'm in it, I walked in, they were all getting ready for school,

and they all turned around and looked at me. And here I am. And I went on to be a three year journey where I was their brother and father, and I took them to school and took them trick or treat, and I was there on Thanksgiving when their uncle stood them up. I was their dad, their best friend and it changed my life and it changed my life because before that I was all about me, baseball, my ego, my problems, my life. Well, when you have 10 boys that are 8 to 10 years old depending

on you, you don't have time to think about yourself. You have to think about them. And where's when I learned when I was there? And maybe this sounds hokey, but it's how I've made, I don't know, several hundred million dollars that was worth listening to. You know those boys wanted for me? Someone to love them and someone to care about them. And here's a biggie that most people don't get. Someone to believe in them, believe in them,

and then just show them how to do better. And while I was there, I started in my financial company and started other businesses with real estate and stuff when I was there. And as I got out of there, I started in my financial company and started other businesses with real estate and stuff when I was there. And as I got out of there, I realized something. They weren't unique. Do you know what you want? Do you know what my best athletes want that I coach?

The people that run countries that I work with. The most famous people you see me golfing with that are whatever people that I work with. They want people to love them, care about them. Here's a big one, believe in them, and then just show them how to do something better. So when I started my financial company, I came from a place of love in people,

caring about people, truly believing in people. And then, hey, let me show you, when I can connect with you like that, now let me show you how I can help you. Yeah. And that's where I've always built all my businesses, my podcasts, my financial, my tech companies, my chocolate company, my food company,

my financial company, my real estate empire, all built based on what I learned from those boys. And here's the last thing. God does not call the qualified. He qualifies the called. I wasn't qualified to be there with those boys. But when I got there, I was called to be there. He then qualified me to help them.

So you don't have to be prepared all the time in life and know everything in order to step in somewhere and really make a difference. I love that. Do you still keep in touch with any of those boys? No one's ever asked me that. God bless you. Yeah, about three quarters of them. Well, one of them's passed away and a couple of them, we just lost contact with over time, but they are. They're men with families now. And so, yeah, I do. And no one has ever asked that follow-up question in all the years I've talked about that. So, yeah, I do. I no one has ever asked that follow up question in all the years I've talked about that. So yeah, I do.

I love them. They're my family. And now a quick break from our sponsors. Young and profitors, do you have a brilliant business idea but you don't know how to move forward with it? Going into debt for a four year degree isn't the only path to success. Instead, learn everything you need to know about running a business for free by listening

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And the best part, they offer a money back guarantee. If your dog's tail isn't wagging within 30 days, they'll refund your first order. No fillers, no nonsense, just nom nom. Go right now for 50% off your no risk two week trial at trinom.com slash app. That's trinom and om.com slash app for 50% off trinom.com slash app. So something that's really interesting is you just talked about, you just alluded to the fact that you have like 20 different businesses that you're invested in. And a lot of people think that in order to be rich, you've got to have all these different income streams. You have to have multiple interim streams passive income and all these

different things, but it turns out focus is really how you build your wealth and then you can kind of diversify your income later. So can you talk to us about the importance of focus and really getting good at one thing? Yeah, it's a lie. It's a fact that's not true. All millionaires have multiple streams of income. So then what do we do when we have no money? We go, well, I got multiple lines.

I got to have a mortgage business. I'm going to do an auto detailing deal over there. I got a cannabis thing over here and you end up broke. So although it's true, it's, although it's a fact, it's not true. What do I mean by that? Once you become worth millions of dollars, then you diversify your income streams

into multiple streams. But the path to getting there is by doing one thing greatly. Get great. Be the best mortgage broker, be the best realtor, be the best entrepreneur, be the best, whatever it is you do, be the best podcaster, be the best influencer, and build that thing great.

Greatness rises, greatness creates wealth. And if I'm full time at being great in one industry and you're splitting it between three, I'm a kicker ass. There's no way when you're doing three things and I'm in the same one where we overlap and I'm doing one, imagine I want to be a major league baseball player and I'm coming up and I go, yeah,

but I also wash clothes on the weekends. I'm learning to play the piano and I'm a plumber but you play baseball all day long. Who's gonna be the major league baseball player? The idea that, oh, I'm gonna diversify. So many of you are doing two and three things. God bless you. You're doing it for the right reasons and you're losing energy. You're depleting your ability to grow. You're going to get smoked by the person who dominates that space you're in. Dominate

the space you're in. Dominate the business you're in. Become a millionaire and then go multiple streams of income. It focused. I totally totally agree. I mean, I see it with podcasters all of income. It's focused. I totally totally agree. I mean, I see it with podcasters all the time. There's people who are podcasters who have no idea how podcasting works, how to make money in podcasting, how sponsorships work, how anything works. And it's like, you've got to learn your craft

if you actually want to be successful at it or else nothing's gonna happen. So here's another point that I think is just so, it was so inspiring for me when I was like just learning more about you. And that's how you you always talk about actually stepping into your dream. The need to actually experience your dream. I remember I heard you tell a story about you and your wife like going to the Fritz Carlton and and just doing that for one day to just feel like it's like what it's like to have valet parking and things like that. Today, you have a private jet and like that's insane. You know, you've elevated yourself to a point

where barely anybody makes it to that point to be able to afford a private jet. And so, talk just about the need to actually experience your dream. You should touch your dreams and the reason is you belong in them, but you move towards what you're most familiar with in your life. So if you're familiar all the time with your current thoughts and your current life, you'll constantly keep moving towards it.

So every once in a while, you gotta go touch your dreams. So like you said, when I was up and coming, I would set contest up with myself. If I didn't hit them, I wouldn't do it. But I'd say, babe, if I make 10 sales this month and I make eight grand, let's take 500 bucks, let's go down to the Ritz-Crawlton on Saturday night. We'll get the cheapest room there, but I would touch the dream. And so I'd get there like a big shot. You know, I'd flip my keys to the valet.

I'd never done that crap before. You know, hey, Mr. Mylette, they grab your bags. I used to be so cheap. I'm like, no, we got our bags because I don't want to give the the Bellman four bucks. Now I'm like, now you get my bag, man. You walk up, you check in. Hey, babe, let's get up into the room. You go get a massage, honey. I'm like, now you get my bag, man. You walk up, you check in. Hey, babe, let's get up into the room. You go get a massage, honey. I'm going to place some golf. I'll meet you at the pool later. Let's have a bottle of wine. And so for one day we would touch this dream. We'd sit there and go, babe, we're going to live like this all the time someday. We just take a taste. And then maybe six weeks later, we do it again. Eight weeks

later, we go out to the Lakinta resort, you know, do it again. And all of a sudden, over time, I'm like, I'm kind of familiar with the valley. I'm kind of familiar with the ocean front. I'm kind of familiar with the golf course. And I'm like, we belong here. All of a sudden, the more familiar I became with it, then I start looking into the houses when I'm there, right? Then I start playing the golf a little bit different.

And over time, I'm like, we belong here because I didn't grow up like that. We used to walk on the beach I live on right now. We go to the ritz, I can walk to the montage. That was the other place we would go. I forgot older. I walk right to the montage for breakfast now. But we would come down this beach

when we were kids. I say, babe, I'm gonna get us a house on this beach someday when we would be taking these walks. No idea how I was gonna do it. She says, you are honey, I'm like, some days weren't high school sweethearts. I'm like, yes, someday we're gonna do it. And I'm like, come home, I'd say to my dad,

I say, dad, who are these people? Who are these people that are these, he was doing, I have no idea these frig do it. And when I come home, I'd say to my dad, I say, Dad, who are these people? Who are these people? They're these, he was doing, I have no idea of these frigate people. I've never met any of them. I have no, I've never met someone who lives oceanfront. Yeah. And then I figured it out.

They're the one. See, in the book, I have this chapter called The Matrix. I love The Matrix about your RIS, but the real reason I read about The Matrix because Neo in The Matrix is the one. See, in every family, if you find a family that's wealthy or successful or happy, but you go all the way back in their lineage, at one point they weren't.

And then the one shows up. The one in that family rises up, takes all the hits, fights for that family, I'm the one in my family, and they change that family forever. The world doesn't treat them my lets like they used to. No one's got their thumb on my family anymore. We think different, we operate in the world different because the one showed up, the one. And if you're listening to this, you're the

one in your family. You're the one. And over time of walking these beaches, over time of going to the Ritz Carlton, I figured out I'm the freaking one. And I'm the one that's going to do it. Now I literally live on the beach. It's one island. I was about an island that's a hundred acres. You said I have a jet, I was about to head five jets. I've owned five jets in my life. And so you go from that to how broke I once was in my life, I've had the water turned off in my apartment. I've been completely without power, without water, without a cell phone.

I've gone to an ATM and prayed. I had 21 bucks at the bank, so it'd spit a 20 out because all it would spit was 20s and I got 14 bucks in there and I can't even get a $20 bill out of an ATM. I know what all that is, but I also know what it's like to touch my dreams. And now I know what it's like to live my dreams.

And what's different about me than most people, is I didn't get rich, telling people how to get rich. I got rich, then I tell people what I did to get rich. And so in this book is the strategies of how I did it, and I documented it. Yeah, it's a really good book. I think a great transition and foundation before we talk about the book is to talk about the reticular activating system, the RAS. We talked about neuroplasticity a lot on the show. We've had John Astrophone and Dr. Caroline Leif. And we've talked a bit about

this, but I'd love to hear it from your perspective. So what is the particular activating system and how do things like stepping into your dream activate the system? You're one of my favorite interviews ever. Seriously. So RIS chapter two in my book, I call the Matrix in the book, but here's what it is. It's the filter that reveals to you. Everything that matters to you in your life that's important and it proves to you that you're right.

It's the prover. Keeps you sane, too. Otherwise, you'd be thinking about all the stimulus. The blood in your right ear going right now, you're breathing, right? So you have to stay sane. So it reveals to you what's most important to you. Give you an example. I just bought a Tesla about a week ago. I like what Elon Musk is doing.

I call my team. I go, hey, get me one of these Teslas. I'm going to start driving the guys car. Next day, Tesla's in my driveway and I'm driving it. All of a sudden, now I'm like, seeing freaking Teslas everywhere. Babe, red one. There's a white one. The other sudden now I'm like, seeing freaking Teslas everywhere. Babe, red one, there's a white one. The other day I'm like, there's three in a row.

You gotta be kidding. I'm on the freeway. Three lanes over. The other direction going the other way. Babe, there's a black Tesla. I see him everywhere now. weren't they always there? They were.

Yeah. But I didn't see them before because they weren't a part of my RAS, they weren't programmed into my filter. When you go into a crowded room, I go into a crowded room. There could be 500 people in a room, audibly. They didn't have to say it loud. Someone says, Ed, if I hear that name, I can hear it audibly over why.

It's important to me. So the key thing in life is that programming your mind, that the Tesla has become the relationships, the meetings, the thoughts, the breakthroughs you have to have in your life. They were always there. They are there right now, but you're not seeing them because they're not programmed into your RAS. They're not programmed like the Tesla is. How do you program? I teach you in the book, but I'll give you one thing.

Repeated, hyper visualizations of your dreams and your imagination and what you want. I have a chapter in the book where I say become an impossibility thinker and a possibility achiever. And here's the deal. In your life, you operate out of either two frames of thinking. 99% of the people operate once they're an adult out of history and memory. They operate out of it. They have patterns of thoughts, patterns of behaviors, they operate out of this, and they reinforce it with different people, different circumstances, same life. 1% of the people operate out of imagination and dream. That's what they did when they were

a child. The reason you were happier when you were a little girl or a little boy, one, you were closer to God because you would just left there, two, you had no history and memory to operate out of, you operate out of imagination. So to flip that in your life, you start imagining and dreaming. When you have a thought, an actual thought, it creates a space in your world that did not exist prior to that thought being created. And now your mind goes to work on filling it up with references and proof. So if you worry about your anxieties, your fears, your worries, your past, you constantly find the testless that reinforced that. If you created a thought that's about the future and an imagination and a dream and you

go touch it once in a while and you repeatedly visualize it over and over again. Very simple. I teach you to do it in the book. You're doing it anyway. You're repeatedly visualizing and thinking about what you're worried about, what you fear all the time. I'm just flipping it into imagination. Then you'll begin to see those testless of your life, the meetings, the people, the places,

the things. And by the way, you're one podcast away, one decision away, one meeting, one relationship away from changing your life. That's the power of one more also. Yeah. And so with the rest, you could actually program it in a bad way. You could be thinking about bad things, saying bad things about yourself. And then you perceive the world with all these bad things that you don't want.

So can you talk to us about how to make sure that we program it in the right way. Programming in the right way is repeated thoughts, visualizations, it's associating with people that also can reinforce those beliefs and thoughts. If you want to know how powerful our AES is, let's go back to the drug addict or alcoholic example. You will find a way to get what you're obsessed with in your life. So if you're obsessed with your worries and your fears, you'll find a way to get them. You get them every week, you get them.

No matter how good life is, you'll get that depression. You'll get that anxiety. You'll get that anger. You'll get that worry. Because it's familiar. Caroline Leif has a really interesting thing where she, she talks about like a lot of times, like our emotions aren't good or bad.

They just are. And so whatever they are, you're gonna get them. That drug addict though, think about this from it. Isn't it incredible? Think of someone you know maybe that's how to drug problem. They could literally be living on the street. No resources, no job, no money, no nothing. Somehow every day they find a way to get those drugs, don't they?

How do they, maybe they got to do something to leave, whatever they got to do? They get those drugs, they get them with no resources, no preparation, no nothing. So, what if those drugs became your dreams? The fact that you have no preparation, the fact that you with no resources, no preparation, no nothing. So what if those drugs became your dreams? The fact that you have no preparation, the fact that you have no resources is inconsequential. People prove it every day with the negative stuff in their life, don't they? But you can prove what the positive stuff in your life.

And the way you do it is repeatedly visualizing it. The other thing you do is you begin to do one more. In your life, stay with me. I have a chapter on goals, which is great. I show you how to set goals the best way I know how, but at best, you're going to get 25% of your goals if they're ambitious. What will you get all the time in your life? Your standards. You will eventually always get your standards. So goals without standards are empty. That's why I teach the goal chapter and the standards chapter together. Standard.

Stay with me. You've had someone on your show who stole my content. I guarantee you because I've been saying this for 30 years and says, if you want to build self-confidence, you got to keep the promises you make to yourself. Yes. Everyone says that now. I'm pretty sure I said it first, but even if I didn't, who cares? And so, if you don't have any self-confidence, it's because you have a reputation with yourself of keeping the, you don't keep the promises you make. You want to build self-confidence, start keeping the promises you make, which is great, but anybody can do that. But what if you changed the standard? What if it was one more?

What if I don't just keep the promises I make to myself, but I do one more? So, I'm not just going to keep the promise to work out and do 10 reps in the gym. I'm going to do it and do one more. I'm not just going to do cardio and do 30 minutes. I'm going to do it and one more minute. I'm not just going to make 10 contacts

and they keep that promise. I'm going to do the 10 contacts, keep'm gonna do it and one more minute. I'm not just gonna make 10 contacts a day, keep that promise. I'm gonna do the 10 contacts, keep the promise, and my standards one more. I'm not just gonna tell my daughter, I love her every day and keep that promise to myself. I'm gonna do it and then I'm gonna do it one more time every day. Now you're superhuman. Now you've transformed yourself into someone who had no self-confidence, too confidence, too superhuman. And so that's the standard that changes our life,

and that's how we begin to reprogram our RIS. We'll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors. You hear that sound, young and profitors? You should know that sound by now, but in case you don't, that's the sound of another sale on Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform that's revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide. Whether you sell edgy t-shirts or offer an educational course like me,

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And I remember when she came on young and profiting and she talked about her conviction marketing framework It was like mind blowing to me. I remember immediately Implementing what she taught me in the interview in my company and the marketing efforts that we were doing and as a marketer I really really respect all Kelly has done, all Kelly has built. In the corporate world, Kelly secured seven promotions in just eight years, but she didn't just stop there. She was working in nine to five. And at the same time, she built her eight-figure company as a side hustle and eventually took it and made it her full-time hustle. And her strategic business goals led her to win the prestigious Inc. 500 award for the fastest growing business

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Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. I love this concept of one more. I have to say it's a very unique concept. I read self-improvement books all the time and I love the fact that you're just saying like just go a little further like give it 110%. Don't just stop at a hundred. It's not enough. So I love that. So your book comes out June first. Is it still coming out June first? Yeah, far as I know, I hope so. Amazing. I was lucky to get a copy of it before. Like I said, I absolutely loved it.

You just kind of went over one more. So let's talk about identity. I think that's the next good point to kind of discuss. Let's talk about how you define identity and how our identity is shaped in childhood. Well, it's installed in us. So our parents install our loving parents, even if they're loving, they install some of their limiting beliefs into us when we're defenseless, when we're kids.

We don't know. My dad, God bless him. I love my father very much. He was a great man, but he would have this thing. He would always say to me, you're going to kick out of this. He'd say, be careful since I was a little boy. Hey, daddy, I'm going to look. Hey, have a great game.

Be careful. I don't think he knew why I was saying it. I'm 50 years old last year. What are you going to do? I go, I'm taking Maxi age games. I have a great time. Be careful. What am I being careful for?

Right? I got a speech in front of 30,000. He goes, crush the speech. Be careful. Like, he just, that's a figure of speech, right? But it's reflective of something inside him. And my dad was not a risk taker. My dad always wondered, who's that?

And so I got older and I grew up like, I gotta be careful. What are they gonna do to me? I maybe I don't wanna make a mistake. I wonder what are people gonna think about me? I don't wanna blow this business deal. I don't, I'd worry. Why am I a warrior?

Cause I'm always been told to be careful. He didn't even mean it. But he said it. And so that became part of my identity. Your identity is yourself worth. It's the thoughts, beliefs, and concepts that you hold to be the most true about you. Here's the best analogy I give on it. Your identity is the thermostat setting of your life. So in this room, it's set at 75 degrees. It's actually not. It's actually set at 70 today. So we'll use 70. It's at 70 degrees.

Outside, I live at the beach. It's about 85 degrees right now. The external conditions have nothing to do with this thermostat because when it's 85 outside, the air conditioner kicks on and regulates the room to 70. That's your life. I'm going to explain your life to you now, everyone. So if you stay at a 70 degree identity, let's just say there's different ones, faith, fitness, fun, bliss, peace, money. Let's just use success, money. Let Let's just say you have a 70 degree internal thermostat worth of money and you start learning all these skills on the the podcast and in your business and now you're at 80 man you're cranking you're making 150 grand to 95 degrees of money. Eventually when those results exceed

your identity you will unconsciously turn the air conditioner on of your life. Uh-oh everyone's like holy shit. He's right. And you will eventually over time cool it back down to exactly what that thermostat setting is no matter what. And it'll seem coincidentally like no, no, no, crypto dropped. The stock market went the wrong way. Interstrates went to supply chain. I had to loan my friends some money. My car broke down. My mom needed help. Bologna, you turn the air conditioner on of your life and you got it back. You see it in fitness. Someone's a 70 degree fitness person, they got 20 pounds too much weight,

they lose the weight. You see them a year later, they put it back on air conditioner kickback on. So the key thing is as you're accumulating skills is to adjust your identity. And in the chat, in the book, I teach a trilogy of identity. I'll just give you what it is without teaching it.

Faith, if you're a person of faith, it's amazing to me how someone will go to church on Sunday and worship God. I'm a Christian, but whatever your faith is, or their mosque, or their synagogue, or maybe they'll go to Bible study. God's with them then, but when they walk into a sales call, they're alone. When they walk into a business meeting, they're alone. Bring your faith with you into your business life. Two, intentions. Give yourself more credit for your intentions in your life. You're in tend to serve you. before we did the show today. I turn my camera off. Real quick. I said, just give me a second. And I just went, Lord, just please bless me today. Let me say the right words on the show. And then I remind myself, I intend to help people

today. I may not have every answer, but my intentions are good. My identity comes from that. And then the third part of the trilogy is associations. If you're around 150 degreeers and you're a 70 degree, they will heat you up by proximity over time. And the closer you get to them, the more they can heat you up. And so faith, intention, association. Yes, I love that.

I wanna dig deep on some of these. So let's talk about intentions. So a lot of people we are talking about it before. Sometimes we have negative self-talk and we truly believe we don't deserve what we want. Like we might want to be a doctor but like deep down inside we don't feel like we're worth it to be a doctor. Can you talk about how we need to understand that our intention matters of wanting that

goal because if we never really accept that we can achieve it, we'll never get it. I was 28 years old and I want to trip to Hawaii for my financial business. And luckily I get up before the sun does and back in those days, I'm 100 years old. So no one used to work out that was in the business where there was like people in the gym and they were all like in construction or blue collar.

White collar people never worked out. I was one of the first ones, you know, and I'm like, so I got up to run. Sun's not up yet. There's this guy running towards me on the beach. Bald guy, Harry back, sweat, and I'm like, whoa. And he gets closer to me. And it's a man named Wayne Dyer. And Wayne Dyer is one of the all time most beautiful thought leaders, influencers before there were influencers of all time. And it was a hero of mine. Like there was Tony

Robbins and Wayne Dyer and God's good that he bought both of them into my life as friends. So that morning he runs by my go wait doctor dire I had a walkman Sony walkman I so and I go doctor dire you changed my life and he had a deep voice like me turns around he pulls his walkman off He goes why doubt that you probably changed your life, but how did I help? And he walks towards me and we sit down on the beach. And for the next 90 minutes, I watched the sun come up and I talk with one of the greatest thought leaders in the world. And in that conversation, he said, Ed, you're going to change the world. I'm sure he said that to other people, right? But at the time, I was like, really?

And he said, you're brilliant the way you think about the mind and life and business, my gosh. And he goes, and that's not why. And he goes, and if you begin to attach your confidence and worth it to your abilities and he goes, and that's not why. And he goes, and if you begin to attach your confidence and worth it to your abilities and your achievements, you're in big trouble. And I went, what? I thought you were supposed to do that.

He goes, Ed, you'll always be chasing it. And when you have a setback or you have a, it's gonna cascade down on you. I go, then what should I attach my worth to? He said, you're gonna change the world, Ed, because your heart's so beautiful. Your intentions are amazing. Focus on your intentions, all your life.

You intend to make a difference. You intend to get the... He goes, you know, there's nothing wrong with walking into a meeting going, I don't know, but I'll find out. There's nothing wrong with saying, I've changed my mind. There's nothing wrong with saying, I was wrong. And he said, you have beautiful intentions. And it was something I knew, by the way, everyone listening to this thing, know about themselves

and went, well, I never believed my abilities were great. Anybody ever told me, I'm like, yeah, but, you know, you're being nice, but when someone says, you intend to help, you intend to do good, I'm like, you got me there, you're right, I do. And so for the rest of my life, so far, I've attached my worth, my identity to my intention to, what I walked into that orphanage,

was I the most skilled psychologist or dad in the world? No, my intentions were to love those boys. My intentions were to show up for them every day and make a difference in their life. And I showed up damn big, I showed up strong. I've showed up to a lot of business meetings, not the most smart guy in the room, but I showed up intending to help people.

And I've shown up big. So this thing of linking to your intentions will change your life. Yeah, I think this is just so powerful, like not being worried about where you are now in the present and realizing that your potential is your intentions to improve in your life. And that is huge. So one other thing that I learned about you

when I was studying you is how loyal you are. Like you're really loyal. You've been with the same woman since you were in grade school, which for me, I as like as a woman, I'm like, oh wow, this is like a good man. I would love to understand like how do you design your social circle in terms of the associations you make in your life because clearly you've kept some people around for a long time. You didn't just go try to find a new circle. There's a lot of people that you've kept around. So how do you design your social circle? That whole thing like drop certain people. I've had to drop a few, but not that many.

What I have done with people that don't serve me any longer as I've reduced my- Hey, App Fam. As you may know, I've been a full-time entrepreneur for three years now. Yet media blew up so fast. It was really hard to keep everything under control, but things have settled a bit, and I'm really focused on revamping and improving our company culture. I have 16 employees, so it's a lot of people to try to rally and motivate. And I recently had best selling author Kim Scott on the show. And after previewing her content in our conversation, I just knew I had to take her class on master class, tackle the hard conversations with Radical

Candor to really absorb all she has to offer. And now I'm using her Radical Candor method every day with my team to give in solicit feedback, to cultivate a more inclusive culture, and to empower them with my honesty. And I can see my team feeling more motivated and energized already. They are really receptive to this framework, and I'm so happy because I really needed this class. With masterclass, you can learn from the best to become your best anytime, anywhere, and at your own pace.

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That way, I can multitask while I learn. Get unlimited access to every class. And right now as the app listener, you can get 15% off when you go to masterclass.com slash profiting. That's masterclass.com slash profiting for 15% off an annual membership masterclass.com. slash profiting proximity to them. I don't see them as much. But for them to be banished from my life, I've not done a lot of that. I add new people And so what I try to do when I add new people is I want it I want people that love me, but I actually look for a criteria in people that do they support my values

And so like I don't like when I go to Vegas a couple times a year with a group of men all of them are Amazing husbands a couple of them are pastors of churches, you know, like that doesn't hurt, but like, I don't want to be around dudes who don't live that part of their life correctly because it might rub off on me. I'm not perfect, so I want to rub off on me. If someone is done keep their word or isn't meticulous in telling the truth, we all have that friend, we're like, he is such a bullshitter, right? You have that friend. They're not going to be around me that much. Yeah. I want people that believe in me.

And here's the biggie. I have a lot of people. I have a lot of funny friends. You see them on my social media. Like, I have people that really make you laugh. I love people that make me laugh. And I'm an introvert. So I like to be around extroverted people

so I can just be a fly on the wall. And so, but a big one is that I want people who don't accept me as I am. And most people are looking for friends who accept them as they are. I'm not looking for that. I'm not looking for acceptance. I'm looking for people that believe in me so much

that they think I could even be better than I am. And they hold me to that standard. There's that standard word again. That when I'm around them, here's a biggie. Wow, are you gonna be shocked when you listen to this one everyone? If more than 5% of our friends, conversations are about remember when, remember, you remember when remember you remember George

Lopez is a great skit on it. What do you do when you get a lot of your friends reminisce, which is cool a little bit 5% of the time, but that means you're operating out of that history and memory. Most of my friends we do a little, I mean very little of the remember, but we do a lot of imagining. We do a lot of imagining. We do a lot of dreaming. We do a lot of, here's where I'm going man. Here's what I'm thinking. Here's what we could do. Let's do this next.

We operate in the present, but we talk about the future a lot, not the past. I don't want a lot of friends to talk about the past. I can do that anytime I want. That ain't where I'm at right now. Yeah, that's huge. I love that advice. Okay, let's talk about the difference

between self confidence and identity. I think this is another big concept in your book. Talk to us about what we need to understand when it comes to self-confidence and how it differs from identity. Well, self-confidence is that relationship. It's a reputation that you have with yourself. Identity is who you believe you are. And so they're connected.

They're like identical twin sisters, but they're not exactly the same. Self-confidence is a relationship and reputation with yourself. That's what it is. And for me, there's another side of self-confidence that most people don't talk about, which is humility. I want friends that have tremendous humility

along with their self-confidence because humility keeps you curious. It keeps you growing. Only a super self-confident, truly self-confident person can be humble, because they're comfortable with themselves enough to say, I could get better. It takes strength to say I could get better. It takes strength to have humility. So I look for that, and I hope I have that. Identity is actually who you believe you are, and what you you are worth. And that's a whole different animal altogether.

And so although I want you to have a ton of self-confidence, you could be the most confident thing in the world, but what if you place your confidence in an identity about yourself that's way less than true? So I'm very confident in who I am. I mean, I've ever meet these people, that's just who I am. And they're really confident about it.

It's just who I am, man. It's just who I, they're really confident. So they got a ton of self-confidence. It's just who I am, man. It's just who I, they're really confident. So they got a ton of self-confidence. They're just wrong or limited than themselves in their identity. And so although I really believe working on your confidence is not that difficult to do and you should do,

the real hard work in life is to change that identity because that identity, you started developing that thing when you were a little girl and you fed it over time. And so that identity is this thing you're never going to escape. It's that thermostat setting of your life and for me It's look if I'm really the child of a loving God if you really believe that how am I not amazing? How am I not been born to do something great with my life? So if you have a faith attach it to your identity I'm your brother because we're the same blood running through both of us, but I'm a child of an awesome God. So there's that. My

intentions, man, I really want to make a difference in the world. I really want to help people. I'm looking at the ocean right now. I could actually just have my butt on that beach right now every single day if I wanted to, but that's not what my intentions lie. My intentions lie that someone's listening to this right now. It's going to change their life. You're going to grab my book, it's going to change their freaking life. So my intentions are good. And then third, I'm around people all the time who believe in me, who challenge me, who push me, who were further down there.

This is great Chinese proverb that says, if you want to know the road ahead, ask those coming back. And so I try to have some friends in my life that are older than me, that have already been down the road I'm going. And I can ask them for directions. And so for me, for most of you, I could be that person. Mine is people you know really, really well who run big, big companies and are well-known people. But only reason is that because they're well known is they've been down the road and they're coming back. And so I want to know the road ahead. And so that's who you should have in your life is someone like that. And by the way, not all your associations have to be in person. They could be a book. When I read a book, I pretend I'm living with Napoleon Hill that week. I'm living with Ed Mylett. He's speaking to me. These words were written for

me. He's talking to me. I've spent the week with Wayne Dyer many times when I wasn't with him before I met him. I felt like when I met him, I knew him When people meet me, my biggest compliment gave me is they feel like they know me. And that means they've really studied me. They've really been in my life. And hopefully when I make of Instagram poster, I have a podcast or a YouTube video where I write a book, they're like, you're talking to me. And that's association as well is stuff like this. Yeah, 100%.

I have to say that I feel like, especially if you're just starting starting out if you just read and keep leveling up and leveling up and leveling Eventually, you're gonna meet your mentors that you're reading just like what you're saying. I've been listening to Ed Mylett for years now I'm interviewing him you know because I leveled myself up to be able to have the opportunity to do something like that and Part of that is learning and studying and doing things on your own and sometimes your mentors are people you don't really get to talk to to your point. So I love that. Okay. So one story that I want you to share that I think is going to help us like kind of wrap things up and around things out is your story about your uncle who passed away when he

was just 50 years old. And how that really triggered you to create a healthier lifestyle for yourself and set your perspective in terms of how you set goals and standards and some of the things that you've been alluding to that I really want you to cover before we end. I want to acknowledge you though. I mean you really do your research. You really do. You're incredible. Thank you. My uncle was my godfather and in my family, godfather's a big deal. I looked like him. You ever have that road if you look like, you kind of look like him, right?

So I kind of look like him. He was walking through the lobby of Otoni, he was 50 and he passed over and died of a massive heart attack. Young family, three children. And when I was at his funeral, I was flying back with my wife on the airplane and heart attacks are in my RAS now. And the Oprah Winfrey shows playing on the TV on the radio of the TV of the airplane.

I was suddenly, I have my headphones on, listen, and I see this heart on the screen. I noticed it, I unplugged my headphones, plug into the plane system. They're talking about these new scans that could really for plaques and arteries. And I go to Kristiana, I go to my wife, I go, hey, sign me up for one of those.

She goes, well, you're barely 30. I go, I don't know, I think I should get it done. She's like, you're fit as dude in the world. I go, just schedule me. And so I end up going to do the scan and I had a doctor who understood influence and change. What do most doctors do? Okay, here's your prescription. He didn't do that.

So you do the scan, I went to lunch, I literally got a burrito. I came back in and I'm in the lobby. There's two people in the lobby. This doctor knew who I was. He was pretending, but he was getting leverage on me. Because when you have big enough reasons, remember this. You'll do anything for those reasons.

That's my chapter on Gulsing mainly about reasons. So he goes, I'm looking for Edward Mylet, and I go, I'm Ed Mylet, and he goes, oh, and he looks down at my chart, and we're standing in the lobby still. And he goes, oh my God, I can't believe these arteries are in that young of a man's body. And I went, what the, isn't that scanned?

Right, he's already got my attention, right? He knows how to present. He goes, wow, come with me, young man. And we walked in silence back into his office. He sits down, he closes the folder. So my information's in that folder. What could he have really done? This isn't sales, too.

You could just give the presentation, but they didn't create the need or the reasons. He didn't get me emotional, because you're always making people feel something. He took control of what he wanted me to feel. Most people are intentional about their energy and what they make people feel. He puts it down, he goes,

let me ask you a question, young man. I said, yeah, he goes, are you married? Any new? I said, I am, sir. You love your wife. I go, yeah, I met her when we were little kids. He goes, you got a son.

I said, yeah, I got a little two year old. And he goes, that's awesome. He goes, you have any interest in being at his high school graduation? I said, what did you just say? He goes, do you want to be at his high school graduation? I said, of course I do. He goes, you're not gonna be not the road you're going.

You're gonna be just like your uncle Mike. Now I know he knows about me. And he goes, you got a little girl. I said, yeah, she's a little baby. And this is where you get to a dad. He goes, what's her name? I said, bellow. He goes, do you want to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day? Or is she going to be on the arm of another man giving her away? I went, what the? He's in that scan, dude. And he goes, you listen to me very carefully, young man. If you don't change what you're doing, you won't be there for that graduation. There'll be another man on the arm of your beautiful wife running around your mansion.

And that same guy's going to walk your daughter down the aisle on her wedding day if you don't change things. I'm like, what is that? Not scanned. Now he's got me, right? That's how you sell, by the way. And he goes, there's the good news. If you do exactly what I tell you to do, you'll walk that little precious girl of yours

down the aisle someday. And if you don't, it's not going to happen. You do exactly what I tell you. Work out, nutrition, supplements, the medication, and I've done it. People ask me, you're 51, you're one of the more fit dudes in the world at your age. Why is it? Because about 10 million mornings a year, I'm exaggerating. I wake up and I don't want to go work out and I go, Bella's wedding and I get my ass up out of that bed and I go work out. I've been on the road for three days. I haven't, you know, there's no Bella's wedding. Get up, find a gym.

And so it's changed my life that meeting because he got leveraged on me in reasons. You show me a man or a woman with big enough reasons, really big reasons, which are always born out of love. I'll show you somebody who will get up and do anything to make that happen. And that's the reason why I'm still here. Hopefully she's not getting married anytime soon, but if she does, I'm ready to walk her down the

aisle. It's such a beautiful story. And it's so powerful because it's empty. Like goals can be really empty, right? Goals can be empty, hard to swallow through on if there's no big reason behind it. And so I guess the moral of the story is to have a reason and have it be connected to love and people. Like you just said, I think that's another key point too. Yeah. People always ask me, what are your reasons or two things? They're your dreams or other people? Yeah, I totally agree. Okay. So one last thing before we wrap up and that's your concept of blissful dissatisfaction. I feel like this is a really important point that I want my listeners to understand because you say there's two great motivators,

there's wanting something and trying to get that thing. And then there's also avoiding pain. So talk to us about why we need both, and then we can close things up. You can get both levers. So what do the doctors do that day? The pain of me dying and missing my daughter's wedding, and also the pleasure of being there.

So those are the two big drivers in our life. But what most of us do, I believe in the concept of blissful dissatisfaction. Here's what most people do. They conflate and confuse two things. Satisfaction is not happiness. You can actually be happy and still dissatisfied. You can do both.

Satisfaction happiness aren't the same thing. So I've learned to live blissfully and still be dissatisfied. Disatisfaction means I'm capable of more. I'm not there yet. I'm dissatisfied. I'm gonna go get it. But most people can flake those things. So people think to themselves, well, like achievers, they're big on this.

Man, I'll enjoy it when. I'll give myself bliss when. I gotta stay perpetually unhappy and dissatisfied because they think it's the same thing. So when I get to a million bucks in the bank, then I'll enjoy myself. Then I'll give myself bliss. When I get the dream relationship, then I'll be blissful. When my podcast is number one, then I'll be blissful. When I'm this or that, then I'll be blissful. When I get to a million followers, then I'll be blissful.

And they delay their bliss until a destination in the future. The problem is the finish line keeps moving. And eventually, if you don't give yourself bliss for what you're doing, you burn out because your brain doesn't get any dopamine for its success. And it eventually goes, it concludes, I don't want to do this anymore. You've talked enough about neuroplasticity and understand the neurology of the brain that if you don't get dopamine for doing something over and over and over again, you stop. Then there's the other people. They think, well, if I lose this pain I'm in, then I'll lose my drive and ambition. Neither is true.

You ever bite into a steak you love or any food you love? That first steak's blissful. You give yourself a total dose of bliss. Does it make you wanna take another bite or no? Of course it does. So that I'm not a bliss you get in celebrating your wins and your success, actually it gets you to do more of that very thing,

not less of that very thing. And so I've learned to live blissfully happy and still be dissatisfied. In fact, I think I'm a pretty good example of that. Like, I'm a pretty darn happy blissful person, but I'm not satisfied. I got more to do, more people to help, more things to achieve, more memories I wanna create.

So I've learned to live in bliss. You don't have to live in misery as you're chasing your dream. You don't have to live in misery as you're chasing your dream. You don't have to be miserable and angry and down and delay bliss to get there. In fact, take it from me because I used to do that. And here's what I figured out. I was winning in spite of that flawed belief system, not because of it. And what I figured out is the more I celebrate, the more I enjoy, the more I give myself dopamine hits, the bigger I get, the more I expand, the more I grow.

And so learn to be in bliss and dissatisfied at the same time. I love that. Okay, so we asked the same last two questions to all of our guests and then we do some fun stuff at the end of the year. So the first one is what is one actionable thing that my young and profitors can do today to become more profitable tomorrow. Do the inconvenient thing. I have a chapter in the book called One More Inconvenience. It's changing relationship with pain.

Begin to willing to do hard and difficult things. When you look at your given day or your week, do the inconvenient thing, not the convenient thing. Everyone does the convenient thing. Do the inconvenient, most difficult thing you could possibly do because that's the thing that produces the biggest results. And what is your secret to profiting in life? It's the service of other people.

I want to help someone else. So my secret of profiting is that I solve people's problems. My business is solve a problem. And so if you can find a problem and you can solve it, you're going to win. By the way, you don't have to always create a new industry either. Sometimes it's getting into an industry that already exists and just doing it better than what the competition does. And in a lot of businesses nowadays, small is better.

Nimble is better. You can move quicker. You can pivot. You can adjust. You can course correct. Much faster and much better and much more boldly with better customer service, better culture than a big company because they have taken longer to move and make decisions. I love that. And where can our listeners go find more about you and everything that you do?

You can go get the power of one more anywhere books are sold. You can go to the power of one more dot com and you can get a bunch of tools that will enhance the book. You can go to Ed Mylet and my last name is M-Y-L-E-T-T and and you can go anywhere. Social Instagram, probably my biggest platform, social is Instagram, but I'm on LinkedIn, I'm on everywhere, but Instagram, I've got a very, you know, pretty successful podcast that I do a serious now, but you can listen to it on iTunes and Spotify and Stitcher anywhere,

you can get a podcast, Apple, and I got a YouTube channel as well. So anything with my name on, just type my name in, you'll find me. And we're gonna stick all those links in the show notes. Ed, this was such an amazing conversation. Thank you so much for your time. I really enjoyed it.

I enjoyed it. So thank you so much. God bless you. Man, this was the first time that I ever met Ed in person. And I have to say I was absolutely blown away by him. I was like on a high after that interview because he's just got such good vibes, such good energy. And he dropped so much knowledge.

So I'm just gonna leave you guys with a couple of critical takeaways and remind you that you can always revisit and replay this episode later. I know I'm definitely gonna be listening to this one a bunch of times. All right, so the first takeaway that I had from this conversation is that if you're looking

to profit in life and be financially successful, you've got to dominate the space you're in before you distribute your energy and focus across different income streams. This is something that me and Ed talked about in something that I see a lot. A lot of people have lofty dreams and they're spreading themselves too thin. There's lots of millionaires that we look up to that now have their hands in many different industries and juggling different companies, but if you look back at the core of their success, you'll find that it stems from being the best at one singular thing. The past to diversifying is by way of doing one thing great and being the best at it. Put all your attention and energy into being the very best podcaster or the very

best artist, financial advisor, whatever it is that you want to be. And once you've achieved massive success in that singular industry and you know the ins and outs of it, only then should you step up, diversify and explore new opportunities. Secondly, and I think this one is a huge one is never disqualify yourself based on your lack of preparation, experience, or past mistakes. It's impossible to be prepared for every opportunity that comes your way. But what you can do is you can step up and give it your all. When I first started this podcast, I felt unqualified to even be reaching out to guests like David

Allen or Gretchen Rubin or Chris Voss, let alone interviewing them, but I did. And I did so really early on because I just took a chance, I took that leap, I just went for it. Had I waited until I felt ready, I would have never started this podcast. So be sure to take and make opportunities and give them all that you've got. And third, last but not least, help your brain help you. Program your particular activating system to help you. Program your reticular activating system to help you be the best version of yourself.

Do this through repeated hyper visualization where you visualize what you want over and over again. And if you do this, your mind or your rest is gonna reinforce these thoughts and you're gonna start to make connections and have experiences pop up that gets you one step closer to your dreams. You can also program your reticular activating system by taking Ed's actionable advice of regularly

experiencing your dreams. Oh my gosh, I loved this concept. Go out and touch your dreams as much as you can put yourself in a position of actually living out the life that you're striving for. I love the example that Ed gave that he used to take his wife to a hotel that he couldn't really afford, but he'd just stay there for one day and just feel like what it would be like if he was to be extremely wealthy, he would touch that feeling and experience that feeling. This is so powerful. This is like visualization on steroids because you're actually doing the thing that you want

in your everyday life. So go ahead, rent that hotel room, take that vacation, give yourself those experiences so you know exactly what to visualize and manifest. And soon enough, these experiences will become your everyday reality. It also reminds me of something that Steve Harvey says, and he says, buy that first class ticket. He says that if you buy a first class ticket and once you experience that experience and you're getting free drinks and you have lots of leg room and you're getting the nice meals, you're never going to want to be in coach again and you're going to figure out how you can make it so that you can always buy first class. Sometimes it's

all about just stepping into your dreams before there are reality. And finally, change your standards and do one more. By the way, guys, Ed's book, The Power of One More is an amazing book. I highly recommend that you guys go out and buy that. I'll stick the links in the show notes. It really was one of my favorite books that I've read recently. And remember, do one more. Don't just hold yourself to your promises. Hold yourself to your promises, and then do more. Go further, be better, and then do it one more day. And with that, yeah, fam, let's get after it. If you felt inspired as I did by this conversation, drop us a five-star review on your favorite

podcast platform. That's the number one way to think as here at the show. And you guys can also reach out to me on Instagram or Twitter at Yapathala or on LinkedIn by searching my name. it's Halataha. Thanks for your sport for this podcast and thanks as always to my amazing Yap team for all their hard work. Catch you next time. This is your host, Halataha, signing off. Are you looking for ways to be happier, healthier, more productive and more creative? I'm Gretchen Ruben, the number one best-selling author of the Happiness Project.

And every week we share ideas and practical solutions on the Happier with Gretchen Rubin, the number one best-selling author of the Happiness Project. And every week we share ideas and practical solutions on the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast. My co-host and Happiness Guinea Pig is my sister Elizabeth Kraft. That's me, Elizabeth Kraft, a TV writer and producer in Hollywood. Join us as we explore fresh insights from cutting-edge science, ancient wisdom, pop culture, and our own experiences about cultivating happiness and good habits. Every week we offer a try this at home tip you can use to boost your happiness without

spending a lot of time energy or money. Suggestions such as follow the one-minute rule. Choose a one-word theme for the year or design your summer. We also feature segments like know yourself better where we discuss questions like are you an over buyer or an under buyer? Morning person or night person, abundance lever or simplicity lever? And every episode includes a happiness hack, a quick, easy shortcut to more happiness. Listen and follow the podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin.

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