Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - Hala Taha: How I Overcame My Limiting Beliefs and Built a Mindset of Abundance (Thoughts That Rock)

Episode Date: December 9, 2022

Throughout her professional career, Hala Taha has faced several instances of rejection: getting fired from HOT97, being turned down for a promotion at HP, and losing her opportunity to become a reality TV star. Yet now, Hala is the host of Young and Profiting Podcast, a Top 50 podcast with over 1.5 million downloads.  Hala is the CEO of YAP Media, a full-service podcast production and marketing agency for top podcasters, celebrities and CEOs projected to generate over $1M in revenue in its first year. Hala is also known for her engaged following and influence on Linkedin and she landed the January 2021 cover of Podcast Magazine. Topics Include:  - Life is limitless  - Why Hala grew up feeling average  - How Hala reframed her mindset using the Law of Attraction  - The power of embracing your femininity AND masculinity  - The first steps to developing an abundance mindset  - Why Hala left her ex-boyfriend for not supporting her dreams  - How a person can hold you back from reaching your potential - Just because somebody loves you doesn’t mean they’re giving you the best advice  - Confidence is competence  - The value of teaching others  - Energy management  - Letting go of something good for something greater - Positivity is key  - Connecting with people more successful than you  - And other topics… Resources Mentioned: Brant’s Website: https://www.brantmenswar.com/  Brant’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brantmenswar  Brant’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brantmenswar/?hl=en  Brant’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BrantMenswar/  Brant’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/brantmenswar  Jim’s Website: https://www.knightspeaker.com/  Jim’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jim-knight-0550823b  Jim’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jimknightspeaker/?hl=en  Sponsored By:  Omaha Steaks - Visit OmahaSteaks.com use promo code YAP at checkout to get that EXTRA $30 OFF your order Shopify - Sign up for a free trial at shopify.com/profiting The Jordan Harbinger Show - Check out jordanharbinger.com/start for some episode recommendations Delta Air Lines - Visit delta.com/travelwell to learn more More About Young and Profiting Download Transcripts - youngandprofiting.com   Get Sponsorship Deals - youngandprofiting.com/sponsorships Leave a Review - ratethispodcast.com/yap Watch Videos - youtube.com/c/YoungandProfiting Follow Hala Taha LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Instagram - instagram.com/yapwithhala/ TikTok - tiktok.com/@yapwithhala Twitter - twitter.com/yapwithhala Learn more about YAP Media Agency Services - yapmedia.io/ Join Hala's LinkedIn Masterclass - yapmedia.io/course  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode of YAP is sponsored in part by Shopify. Shopify simplifies selling online and in-person so you can focus on successfully growing your business. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com-profiting. What's going on, yeah fam? Today we're replaying my interview on the Thoughtset Rock podcast hosted by author and speaker duo Jim Knight and Brent Menzware. Jim and Brent interviewed me on the topic of confidence and I thought that was a super unique angle.

I love it when people interview me on different things and not just my life story and I thought that was a super unique angle. I love it when people interview me on different things and not just my life story. And I thought that because this was such a unique angle, I talked about new things. And I thought it would be interesting to share with you all. So turn to this episode to hear how I built unshakable confidence, believe that life was limitless, and tackled my dreams head on even when everyone was against me

Yes, there she is Ha la ta ha. Thank you so much for making this happen being on the show Yeah, I'm super excited to be here. Thanks for having me. That's two on thoughts at rock You know, we're we're all excited about trying to give our audience awesome pieces of advice. So you have such a great background. We're going to jump right in and ask you, let's start with the first one. What is your thought that rocks on the topic that we picked, which is becoming confident in a world of naysayers?

Hmm. I love this topic, first of all, because I feel like confidence is so core to getting people to like you, to leveling up in your career. It just like hits everything in your life. So I love this topic. So in terms of like my top tips in order to become more confident, I think first is believing in yourself and believing that life is limitless. I talk about this a lot because I feel like a lot of people have a closed mindset. They're living on labels that they got

from when they were a child, right? That like maybe a teacher told them they weren't smart or maybe a parent told them they weren't good looking. And they're, you know, living their life under these labels for so long. And it's not until you really believe that life is abundant, life is limitless. You realize that you have control over your life,

you can manifest your own destiny. That's when you can truly become confident because you actually believe in yourself and believe that becoming the person who you want to become is actually possible. Right? So I remember when I was 19 years old, you know, prior to that, I was pretty damn average. I was an Arab American girl. I remember growing up in 9-11, not getting opportunities in high school when even I was like the best singer in school, very talented. You know, always was this energetic, positive girl,

but just wasn't given opportunities. And then for a little bit of time, I believed, well, I guess I'm just average. I guess I'm not good enough to be in the Trilling team, I'm not good enough to be, you know, lead in the play. And then I remember 19 years old in college, I found the Law of Attraction. I got really addicted to this author who was a husband and wife called Abraham and Esther Hicks, and they've got this, all these books, and I was gone to like this cult.

And I didn't really have a religion. I grew up Muslim and didn't really align to that. And then I used law of attraction as my religion. And I have to say I was the most confident 19 year old in the world, probably. And I totally reframed my mindset, believed that I was gonna be this famous singer. I always thought that I was gonna be super famous and got this internship at a radio station.

And like literally when I was 25, I had a pilot on MTV. Like that's how much I believed in myself and so this opening up your mindset believing that life is abundant believing that life is limitless truly believing in yourself having a goal of who you want to be and believing you can achieve it I think is step number one in terms of confidence. Yeah and you know I was thinking about this too I'm glad that we also picked this topic and I follow you obviously on LinkedIn. You have such a huge mass of falling.

You pretty much own that space, which is awesome. I think yeah. But I have seen, honestly, some people that will put a comment in there about something that might be superficial and they think you can't look or behave or act or wear something and still be a professional or own your own business or whatever.

And of course, you've completely proved them wrong. But I love how you handle a lot of those comments. And so this probably even led to us talking about this topic saying, you are already confident, but as you just said, you maybe weren't always that early on, but you figured that out pretty quick and you just sort of stomped on the naysayers. What advice would you give to people that, let's say, especially in this world, social media, they put something out there, they're going to be vulnerable because people are going to, they'll tell the truth and just throw it out there and you've got to respond in some

way, right? Or not, I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I look at those negative comments and I feel like people are just projecting on me. Like, if it's a woman, that's like, you can't be wearing that short skirt and talking about business. I always just fly back and I'm like, well, I probably make, you know, 20 times more money as you why, because you have this like limiting mindset that you can only act a certain way,

or be a certain way in order to achieve something. And really, it's about your mind and what you do and the actions that you take and the networking that you do. And it has nothing to do with what you're dressed like. And first of all, I love to dress the way that I dress. I love to be girly and feminine. And I think that it's very powerful in a world where most women who achieve something, they embrace masculine energy.

And I feel like I embrace both. I have masculine energy that allows me to be a CEO, you know, build a business, manage a team, but I embrace my femininity. And I think that actually makes me more powerful because I feel like I appeal to both. That's why my podcast is mostly male listeners, right? And that's not normal because most women tend to attract only women because they're in a different mind, like they're just not approachable or relatable to everyone else. So I feel like being feminine is also my superpower in addition to being able to channel that masculine energy that allows me to be a great boss. And I feel confident in what I wear.

I mean, that ties to one of the things that we're going to talk about later, which is energy management. I love to dress in a way that makes me feel beautiful and powerful. And I really don't give a crap when anybody else thinks about it. And sometimes I feel like it's jealousy. You know what I mean? They're jealous. They don't take know what I mean? They're jealous. They don't take care of their body.

They're jealous. They don't look as young or whatever it is, but that's their problem, not mine. Yeah. What would you say is an easy first step for someone to sort of move towards an abundance, my step. For some people, they might just go,

well, that sounds great, but I have no idea how to even approach that. What would be one of your first things you would say, look, start with this, and then you can take it a little further. Yeah, what I would do is I would think of your one goal, right? So let's say, you have a really limiting mindset about money. You grew up poor, your parents told you money was bad, and so you just have this bad relationship with money, and you never seem to attract money because you've got this bad relationship with

money. I would come up with affirmations all about money and say them every single day and recorded on your phone and listen to it every time you're doing chores, every time you're driving, when you're working out, I literally did this to myself when I was a teenager and I feel like it drastically changed my life. And it can even make you prettier and fitter and all these things. Like it really does work.

And so I would say stuff like, you know, money is attracted to me. I have unlimited money flowing into my bagger cow. I would bring passion and energy into it, bring emotion into it to make it more sticky. You know what I mean? And I would repeat those things until your brain starts to look for the opportunities

for you because you've been repeating these things. You train your brain what to believe, right? If you say, I don't make a lot of money, you're never gonna make a lot of money because your brain is a supercomputer that just listens to everything that you say and we'll just do what you say. And we'll just do what you say. It's programmed to do what you say and think.

So if you reprogram it and start to say the opposite, even if it's not yet true, your brain is gonna start to give you and allow you to see the things that you weren't able to see before. So you can take better action and navigate your life towards the things that you want. I think it's amazing that there's so many,

you know, going back to maybe not growing up with a religion that you align to, even this practice of affirmation, I mean, it's very rooted in religious practice, right? I mean, so for some people who say their prayers and they, you know, they're really trying to align there and asking for whatever it is of abundance that they're looking for.

They don't think of doing things like affirmation in the same way that they would a religion, but in actuality it's very, very similar, isn't it? It's super similar. That's such a great point. It is, and people don't realize that their little habits that they do, whether that's praying, or whatever it is, it really drastically impacts your life and your mind and your future.

Sure, and your belief. I mean, ultimately, that's what you're looking for in both sides is to have this steadfast belief and why not have the steadfast belief in yourself that you're meant for more, right? Yeah. Let's hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors. Young and profitors, do you have a brilliant business idea but you don't know how to move

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So, I think you probably know this, how we're professional speakers and authors as well. I think when I made that leap, I don't know if you were like this and maybe, you know, for you as well, how I, even my own family, my wife at the time said, you're gonna leave, you know, I was 21 years at

hard rock and it was an executive there. She's thinking, you're leaving all of that, the money, the benefits, the travel, the fun, the security to go to this. I mean, in her mind, it wasn't, it was probably a little bit more tangible making money in those things, but she could not in her head think, people are going to pay you to go out there and speak. And I said, I'm not worried about that. If you feel confident, if you've got the good when it comes to the content and the delivery, you can bring the thunder and have something meaty to say,

you're gonna win. And, you know, again, even in my own home life, I was thinking, I've got to overcome that, and I'm just gonna prove them wrong. I don't know if you had the similar situation or not. Well, I think maybe in the music business. For me, so how I spent 20 years in the music business with two different bands and two different record deals tour in the world and sort of living that rock and roll lifestyle

for two decades. For me, it wasn't, you know, I knew that if I could move people from the stage, then I was going to be fine. So it wasn't a question of, could I find myself in a position in front of a thousand people to get them to move to action in some way? That I was comfortable with, what I wasn't comfortable with was, what am I going to talk about? You know, because you can't just be a storyteller. You got to sort of have something there that people want to hear or want to learn. And so it became more of being a student, I think, of really what it is that I wanted to talk about what I felt really led to talk about what I was sort of feeling drawn to and experiencing myself at that moment so that I didn't have the eight initials after my name

of MD, DDS, XLP, GQ, whatever. It was something that I just knew that I needed to be comfortable enough that I could have an intelligent conversation with someone about it. And I think that's what was the harder part for me. The confidence was in the content, making sure that it was viable, not in the naysayers of you shouldn't be on that stage.

You know what I mean? What is that? Hala, I know you've spoken a lot yourself. Was that sort of same for you? Do you sort of split it between performance and content? I'm not sure about the performance and content, but what resonated with me was when Jim was talking about just like naysayers in your life and people, you know, not believing in you and trying to project that belief on you and prevent you from doing something that

you feel on your heart you're ready for. And I definitely went through that all the time. I remember, you know, even when I was working at a radio station when I was 19, all my siblings were doctors, right? And going to med school, and I was like the black sheep in my family having to explain why I wanted to intern for free at a radio station and to just trust me fast forward, you know, 10 years later, I accomplished so much, but you wouldn't have known that when I was just starting.

And so even now when I started my agency just two years ago, I was dating somebody for 10 years. I don't really share this story often, but I was basically married. And the guy that I was with, I had a corporate job at Disney streaming services. And he loved me being this corporate professional. And I had an amazing cushy job. But I also had this agency that I was growing at night. I had 20 people in the Philippines

who worked overseas for me. And I was building this business at night. And it was growing really fast to the point where I was making like four times more than what I was making at Disney a month and just doing it part-time at night. And so I was like, listen babe, I wanna start this business. I'm babe, I wanna start this business.

I'm ready, I wanna quit this job. Like I'm already making four times more than I'm making a Disney. Like it's already proved it. And he was so upset. Stonewalled me. Like I'd make him dinner. He wouldn't even say anything to me.

And we ended up breaking up. I moved out after 10 years because I was like, well I'm not gonna, like I know this is was like, well, I'm not going to, like, I know this is going to blow up. Yeah. And I'm not going to be small because you're uncomfortable with it. I'm not going to be small because you're afraid of me being bigger, right? And so for me, I had, it was so tough. And sometimes these crossroads can be like the most difficult times in your life.

And you feel like you're losing something to gain something else. But anybody who just can't support your beliefs and your dreams, you need to remove them from your life. Because it just is what it is. I loved him so much. I still love him like family and whatever, but at the end of the day he was not ready to have somebody as big as me in his life. And he wanted me to stay small and he always wanted me to stay small. And so I had to remove myself from that situation. That's his own version of a scarcity mentality.

It's not so much, like that abundance mentality is, you know, there's enough pieces of the pie to go around. Don't worry about everybody else, just crush life yourself. But internally there is that, like I was talking about with my ex-wife, same thing, they just can't fathom and they're so cushy and happy with all this other stuff, not even realizing, not even the money. That's going to come no matter what. But you will be so much happier, you'll be productive and effective and all those things. And now look at you. I mean,

honestly, I wonder, I wonder what Halitaha would be like. If you were still in that relationship, I still think you would be a shining star. but do you have less because maybe you're not as risky because you've got that voice in your head, you know? Oh, 100% my career skyrocketed after we broke up. I got literally, like my downloads skyrocketed. I got on the cover of podcast magazine. I interviewed Matthew McCone,hey. My business blew up. I have 60 employees now.

Everything just flourished because I always say this for 10 years I had somebody stepping on my neck. So to speak, I still grew this LinkedIn and I still had a great podcast but it was like that next level that I needed to remove that person from my life to unlock that next level and sometimes you have to do that. And here's the thing, I know that he loved me.

He did it out of a place of love. And parents do this, like grandparents do this. Like I think you want to marry, marry somebody who's not your, I love that. Like let's say you want to marry somebody who's not your religion, if you have like old-school parents, they're gonna be against that because I think they know what's best for you.

Here's the thing, don't listen to anybody who hasn't been where you want to go, right? I don't take business advice from anybody who's not a bigger podcaster than me, like for the podcast world. Jordan Harbinger is my mentor because he's literally the only person who knows more than me.

Otherwise, I'm not gonna listen to them because I've already done more than what they've done, right? And same thing with business, I have a business mentor. Don't listen to your parents who might be, like, have a totally different career on your business advice. Because they may love you, but they might not have great advice for you.

So I think that's really important to be able to navigate that type of thing. Awesome, awesome. Okay, so we got to believe in yourself. Life is limitless. That's the first one. Great stepping stone. What's your second thought that rocks when it comes to building confidence, becoming more confident in that world of naysayers?

Yeah, I think Edmila taught me this one and that's confidence is competence, right? So it's actually doing the work, learning, loving to learn, having the experiences, putting in those reps, and just really having strong skills in your field. If you want to start a business, if you want to be a thought leader, if you want to be a speaker, you need to know your stuff. And part of that comes with actually doing and learning. And one of the things that's super interesting is, is imposter syndrome is sort of the opposite of confidence. You walk into a room and you feel like you don't belong and you feel like you can't play

in the same space, you're not on everyone's level. Well, here's the thing. Imposter syndrome is really just not knowing the language, the dictionary, right? The words, the acronyms. And that comes from a lack of experience in the space. If you know the words, if you do your reading, reading is so important, listening to podcasts, doing anything where you're gonna distill information

from people in a way that's fast so that you can do a lot of it, and becoming expert yourself, know everything. They call me the podcast princess because I literally know everything about podcasting. That didn't just happen accidentally. I just am curious. I'm always learning.

I'm always looking things up. I'm always trying to figure things out. I know that there's no real impossible thing to do. There's always a solution to what you're looking for. So always just be willing to learn and be willing to do and make those experiences and don't use the excuse if I don't have enough time. Right.

So I would say confidence is built from confidence. We have a book marketing company. And it's funny because the majority of the people that go on this app that we've created is called Boogie Call are mostly fiction. Like by far fiction is the main focus. And you probably know better the top categories. I say that all these books that I have in a library at home, I have a nice big library, not a single one of fiction.

It's so boring. All my nonfiction, but my world is all about business and money and it sees type of people that are probably on your show as well. We probably attract more of them than we would somebody who's in a different space. I feel like I never wanted to have that imposter syndrome. I didn't want to be the smartest guy in the room. I didn't

think I would, but you have something that I don't have. I just want to figure out what it is and put that arrow in my quiver. So at least I could hang. You know, I could at least have the conversation. That's, you know, for me, that imposter syndrome is, I just want to be able to be able to have a conversation. If I could do that, I'd feel pretty good about it. I think Billy Joel once said that someone was asking him about his success and how has he reached this level of success and his answer was because I'm competent, not because I'm great, but because I'm competent. And that's, I think, is an understatement and something that really isn't well understood

of what being competent means our friend, Alan Stein, Jr. tells this great story of Kobe Bryant in his talks of showing up at 4 a.m. in the morning and Kobe's already practicing, right? And he's practicing the basics, because, again, it's about competence. And, you know, in my practice of coaching, and I do a bunch of work-around values and purpose, one of the things I say all the time is that you only need

belief in the absence of proof. And so this idea of competence is confidence. It's doing it enough that you can acknowledge that you've done it. And then once you've done it, all you have to do is acknowledge that it's been done. You don't have to believe that you can do it any longer. You move that belief to acknowledgement. And then all of a sudden, you start stretching for something that deserves your belief, right? That's that abundance mindset that you talked about earlier.

It's you got to put that goal out far enough that it forces you to believe because you don't have the proof that it can be done yet. But along the way, it's those stepping stones, right? 100%. I think the other thing that you sort of alluded to is you need to teach what you learn if you really want to be confident and become that expert because you learn twice when you're first learning it and then if you teach it to somebody else,

you're gonna learn it again. And then that just keeps building confidence because then people start to ask you questions proactively because you're the expert. And when you think people think you're good at something, you're gonna wanna get better and better at it. So teaching other people, being a mentor actually will make you more confident.

Totally. In my training and development world, I remember every year at the annual conference, you know, all of my team and even some of the operators we'd have everything down, marketing people had the coolest sexiest slides in the world, but they had like 200. They never practice. They never got any confidence being in front of them doing the actual presentation. They could talk and they had the cool slides and all that, but they were nervous as I'll get out because they had not fought through to be competent enough. And I think, you know, in our world, when we get competent enough that we know every bullet point, every image, what's on the next slide, what the temperature of the room,

who's talking in the room? I mean, it becomes a lot of noise, but that's what makes great teachers, policemen, speakers. When you become that confident, it's not the content anymore. Now you become more confident and actually delivering and trying to inspire motivate people. So I think that's a brilliant one. We'll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors. Hear that sound, young and profitors? You should know that sound by now, but in case you don't, that's the sound of another sale on Shopify.

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As you may know, I've been a full-time entrepreneur for three years now. Yet media blew up so fast, it was really hard to keep everything under control, but things have settled a bit, and I'm really focused on revamping and improving our company culture. I have 16 employees, so it's a lot of people to try to rally and motivate, and I'm really focused on revamping and improving our company culture. I have 16 employees, so it's a lot of people to try to rally and motivate, and I recently had best-selling author Kim Scott on the show. And after previewing her content in our conversation, I just knew I had to take her class on master class, tackle the hard conversations with Radical Cander to really absorb all she has to offer.

And now I'm using her RadicalCander method every day with my team to give in solicit feedback, to cultivate a more inclusive culture, and to empower them with my honesty. And I can see my team feeling more motivated and energized already. They are really receptive to this framework, and I'm so happy because I really needed this class.

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I think it's energy management. So we alluded to a few things. Let's start with ourselves first, right? So energy management in terms of how do you show up to the world in your best self? So what do you like to wear? For me, I am girly. I like to do my hair.

I like to do my makeup. I like to wear a nice outfit. I like to embrace my femininity, right? I also like to feel tall. You know, I'm a nice outfit. I like to embrace my femininity, right? I also like to feel tall. You know, I'm a petite girl, so I'll wear very high heels, four or five in heels because that makes me feel confident. It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks about it,

it makes me feel confident. And when I feel confident, I'm powerful, right? So I wear what I want, what makes me happy. Also, you know, I talk to myself positively, right? I'm not gonna go into a big meeting and be like, you suck, Carla, you're not gonna make the sale. I do the opposite. I'm like, you're a sales killer.

You've done this a million times. You've got this. I self-talk positively. She's doing it smiley on Saturday night. I'm looking in the mirror. You're smart enough, people like you. Yeah, and I don't know their reference, but you see, because he's old.

The shit. I just totally by myself like, okay, whatever back to you. But anyway, you know, positive self-talk is really important, both what you say to yourself internally, what you say out loud, really matters. So what you tell your friends about you, accepting compliments easily, like all that stuff matters on a day to day in terms of your energy management.

And then also who you surround yourself with, right? So making sure you don't have a friends that are your own naysayers. I remember when I started my podcast, so you knew what people told me, I wasn't even 30 years old, you're too old to start a podcast. Not even 30 years old, you're too old to start a podcast. Not even 30 years old, you're too old

to start a podcast. We're so ridiculous the things that people say to other people, right? Yes. And so just not listening to people who are projecting their own limitations on you, removing yourself, like I said, I literally broke up with my boyfriend of 10 years to go accomplish my dreams because sometimes you need to let go of good for something greater. And it seems really tough in the moment. But when you do that, you actually lose all these, like, it's like having like weights on you and you lose those weights and you get to surround yourself with other people who are aligned with what you want to

do and who support you. And that's a way more downstream way to like navigate life rather than always having people be against you and whatever move you're trying to make. So energy management I think is key. And it's like the thing that really rounds out this whole conversation. I know that you are obviously good friends with both Kerr Golden but also Heather Monahan who wrote a book on this as well. And I know you guys sort of hang out and play in that same space. I would guess that you've had guests on your podcasts that even then if there's something that they want to talk about,

if they were to be a naysay, or if they were to go at all in a negative direction, how do you handle that? Because again, I think people that are listening right now, they just come into contact with people that are just negative there They're pig pin hanging out with Charlie Brown, you know, did you get that reference? That was about just a double-check it No, yeah look at her okay. Holy shit We're gonna totally put it in X morning a little We're gonna totally put it out. Gen X, warning. A little ad, Gen X, every time I had.

Gen X references this episode. Anyway, how do you handle those individuals? And I know we're coming up on the end of our time here. Yeah, I would say, I don't get a lot of them on my podcast because I feel like most of the people have reached a level who are gonna come on my podcast. They know that positivity is key, right? But funny enough, I did have a guy come on my podcast, they know that positivity is key, right? But funny enough, I did have a guy

come on my show and he was so negative in terms of his mindset about life, so negative to the point where we were like, I don't think we can put this episode out because it completely is unaligned with everything else that we say on this podcast. He was kind of like, you know, the world is the world, you know, just very negative, Like you can't control your life. You can't like, and it was very, very negative in terms of his outlook on the world and how you can actually grow within that world. And so I just decided not to put it out.

Okay. I don't feel like that aligns with my message. And as we reveal his name on our debut, no. We'll put his name in the show notes. I'm trying to remember who it was. I don't even remember his name. Just tell us offline. We're going to put it in the show notes. That's sad. Listen, I think it's the higher you climb, right? The more people are going to be

sort of climbing to knock you down, and that just happens. And those types of people, I think that's a choice, right? You have to sort of John Woodens, famous some the Lakers. Yeah. I'm the Lakers. From UCLA and famous coach, Hala, there who won many many many national championships, talks about, you know, you need to figure out who are the five people you spend the most amount of time with. And your success is going to be a sort of combination of

those five people and the successful as they are similar to what you had said earlier is you're not going to take advice from somebody who is not more successful than you are, right? And so that's the same sort of concept there is you got to sort of he would recommend at the end of each year you sort of do a little who do I spend the most amount of time with my personal life and my business life and then sort of in this other category here and out of those 15 people, you only get five. And so who are those five going to be and make sure that you put the time in because their impact and influence over you is going to determine your success, right?

And that's part of that energy management because if you have those people who are constantly bitching and moaning and whining, it makes it hard to keep your energy where it needs to be so that you can continue to do what you do. Totally, and to that same point, not only just removing people but adding people. So I would say, right down a list

of the most impactful people that you've ever met in your life and take the steps to start re-engaging them. And that's gonna happen slowly because you're to look like a creep if you're like, hey, like, all right, like, let's say, give John Mackey, he's a CEO of Whole Foods. I interviewed him last year. He probably goes on 100 interviews a year. He probably remembers me because I have a big show. But like, if I reached out to him and was like, hey, John, I need a favor.

He's going to be like, screw you, Holly. You haven't talked to me in a year, you know? But if I send him an article like this week and was like, Hey John, I thought you might find this interesting or if I send him another thing, Hey John, I recommended you to a friend who's, I don't know, like I gave this book that I gave your book to my friend and he had this to say.

And I just like kept trickling in these little things over time. Then five months from now, I'm kept trickling in these little things over time. Then five months from now, I'm like, hey, John, I need a favor. He's gonna be like, oh, that's Hollis, she's so lovely. And she's been keeping up with me. And it's such a great tactic in terms of like, you know, actually being proactive

and building that incredible network that you want. So it takes effort and you do need to take action. And I would say build the well before your thirsty. Yeah love that. That's great. So if one of us is going to be in your inner circle, one of your five, we come as a set. So it's kind of, no we don't. You can kick him right out. Are you sure? Are you sure? I'm fine with that. So here's the deal. The summary that we have, I love this too. Again, the topic was being more confident when you've got this world of naysayers. One, believe in yourself. The abundance mindset. Yeah. Yeah.

Competence is confidence. Love it. Yep. And then the last one around energy management, you know, who do you spend your time with? And if you've got some nelly negatives, you got to carve them out. And I think those are, I know you've got more, but those are three really good powerful ones. And those 10 10 year giant energy sucking vampires. Yes. That have kept you back for a decade. Kick them to the curb. You know, and I know you probably have something else on the radar screen at some point.

We love to talk about that down the road, but it is so great to finally have you on the show. I know we were trying last year and we finally made it happen. So taking a little bit of time, you totally rock. Thanks, Alex. Thank you so much. Appreciate it guys. We'll talk to you soon. Rock on. Are you looking for ways to be happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative? I'm Gretchen Ruben, the number one best-selling author of the Happiness Project. And every week, we share ideas and practical solutions on the Happier with Gretchen Ruben

podcast. My co-host and Happiness Guinea Pig is my sister Elizabeth Kraft. That's me, Elizabeth Kraft, a TV writer and producer in Hollywood. Join us as we explore fresh insights from cutting-edge science, ancient wisdom, pop culture, and our own experiences about cultivating happiness and good habits. Every week we offer a try this at home tip you can use to boost your happiness without spending a lot of time energy or money. Suggestions such as follow the one-minute rule.

Choose a one-word theme for the year or design your summer. We also feature segments like know yourself better where we discuss questions like are you an over buyer or an under buyer, morning person or night person, abundance lever or simplicity lever, and every episode includes a happiness hack, a quick easy shortcut to more happy. Listen and follow the podcast happier Happier with Gretchen Ruben. Whether you're doing a dance to your favorite artist in the office parking lot, or being guided into Warrior I in the break room

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