Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - Jennifer Cohen: Bigger, Better, Bolder. How to Get the Life You Want by Being Bold | E204

Episode Date: January 9, 2023

When she was young, Jennifer Cohen struggled in school and was often sent for extra tutoring because of her poor performance. After a teacher said that she would be nothing but “average, at best,” a young Jennifer Cohen decided to step out of herself and into boldness. Today, Jennifer is one of the most influential entrepreneurs in the Health and Fitness industry. In this episode, Jennifer will talk about her newly released book, Bigger, Better, Bolder: Live the Life You Want, Not the Life You Get. She will teach us how to develop boldness as a skill and how to rid ourselves of the “good enough” mindset.   Jennifer Cohen is an entrepreneur, brand strategist, podcaster, and educator. Her world-famous clientele includes Hollywood celebrities, Olympic athletes, blockbuster recording artists, top CEOs, and more. She’s the author of three books in the fitness, wellness, and healthy habits space, has sold companies for millions of dollars, and has appeared on major network shows. On her top-rated Habits & Hustle podcast, Jennifer interviews thought-leaders and business luminaries such as Mark Cuban, Bobbi Brown, and Tony Robbins, and celebrities like Dennis Rodman, Chelsea Handler, and Matthew McConaughey. In this episode, Hala and Jennifer will discuss:  - How Jennifer stepped into boldness at a young age - Why being “mediocre” can be a superpower - Creating the dream job - How Jennifer built her brand  - Why having a “good enough” mindset isn’t enough - How to exercise our boldness muscle daily - How Gen Z and Millennials can escape “coddle culture” - Why self-actualization is an attractive quality - And other topics… Jennifer Cohen is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, brand strategist, international speaker, podcaster, and educator with a specific focus on building healthy habits to drive positive behavioral change and inspiring people to achieve their biggest dreams through boldness. Her world-famous clientele includes Hollywood celebrities, Olympic athletes, blockbuster recording artists, top CEOs, and more. She’s the author of three books in the fitness, wellness, and healthy habits space, has sold companies for millions of dollars and has appeared on major network shows. On her top-rated Habits & Hustle podcast, Jennifer interviews thought-leaders and business luminaries such as Mark Cuban, Tony Robbins, and Bobbi Brown, and celebrities like Dennis Rodman, Chelsea Handler, and Mathew McConaughey. Jennifer is also an in-demand motivational speaker for brands and business schools. Her TEDx talk, The Secret to Getting Anything You Want in Life has more than 5 million views. Jennifer lives in Los Angeles with her husband and their two little superstars, Dylan and Sydney. Resources Mentioned: Jennifer’s Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/  Jennifer’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/therealjencohen  Jennifer’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/therealjencohen?lang=en  Jennifer’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealjencohen/?hl=en  Jennifer’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/therealjencohen/  Jennifer’s Podcast: https://www.jennifercohen.com/podcast Bigger, Better, Bolder: Live the Life You Want, Not the Life You Get: amazon.com/Bigger-Better-Bolder-Live-Life/dp/0306829584/ref=sr_1_1?qid=1673204975&refinements=p_27%3AJennifer+Cohen&s=books&sr=1-1 Sponsored By:  More About Young and Profiting Download Transcripts - youngandprofiting.com   Get Sponsorship Deals - youngandprofiting.com/sponsorships Leave a Review - ratethispodcast.com/yap Watch Videos - youtube.com/c/YoungandProfiting Follow Hala Taha LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Instagram - instagram.com/yapwithhala/ TikTok - tiktok.com/@yapwithhala Twitter - twitter.com/yapwithhala Learn more about YAP Media Agency Services - yapmedia.io/ Join Hala's LinkedIn Masterclass - yapmedia.io/course Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode of YAP is sponsored in part by Shopify. Shopify simplifies selling online and in-person so you can focus on successfully growing your business. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com-profiting. I get this question a lot, and that is, do you have to be born bold? And the answer is no, absolutely not. I think boldness is a skill.

Like anything else, if you want to become good at karate, or Spanish, or whatever you want, you need to practice it, and you could get better at it. And I think boldness is the same way. People feel so uncomfortable asking for such little things. Like if you are uncomfortable asking for these little things, how are you gonna get comfortable asking for the bigger things? We need to learn how to be resilient, and the only way you learn how to be resilient

is to actually fail and then pick yourself up again and try again. What is up, young and profitors? You're listening to YAP, Young and Profiting podcasts where we interview the brightest minds in the world and turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. I'm your host, Hall of Taha, AKA the podcast princess. Thanks for listening and get ready to listen, learn, and profit. [♪ Music playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing This is great to be here with you. I am so excited. I love having my friends on the show. It always makes for a more natural interview.

I know we're going to have a lot of laughs and learn a lot. So I'm looking forward to introducing you to my listeners. And young and profitors, Jennifer Cohen is a woman I highly respect in the self-improvement and podcast space. She's an entrepreneur, a brand strategist, a podcaster, and a fitness trainer. And she's considered one of the most influential people in health and fitness and one of the most impactful fitness

entrepreneurs in the world. Jen's world famous clients include Hollywood celebrities, Olympic athletes, top CEOs, and so many more, and she's also the author of three books and the host of a top podcast called Habitson Hustle, which is actually a new addition to our Yap Media Podcast Network, and on Habitson Hustle she which is actually a new addition to our Yap Media Podcast network. And on Habitson Hustle, she's interviewed people like Mark Cuban and Tony Robbins and celebrities

like Chelsea Handler and Matthew McConaughey. So it's an awesome podcast. I hope you guys check it out. It's Habitson Hustle. And today's episode is going to be focused on Jen's recently released new book. It's called Bigger Better Bolder. Live the life you want, not the life you get, where she brings readers one step closer to boldness, one chapter at a time.

And so in this episode, we're gonna learn how Jennifer climbed the top of her space and created her dream job. How boldness is a skill that anyone can learn and we'll also get the 411 on how to develop a 10% mindset. So Jennifer, today you're top of your field, but you didn't always think of yourself that way when you were younger. And when you were in school at a young age,

you were regularly sent for extra tutoring because of your poor performance. And one day, your mom told you that your teacher had called you average at best. So let's talk about that. How did that experience shape you as a young person? That's a great intro, Hala. So thank you for that. Some amazing. I never was a great student, and I always thought that was my big Achilles heel, right? That I wasn't smart enough, that I wasn't talented enough or athletic enough. And over my journey, what I really recognized and what I realized was all those things really

take a backseat. my journey, what I really recognized and what I realized was all those things really take a backseat and the most important thing for success in anything. It could be professional, it could be personal, it could be whatever you are and trying to do. Its boldness is and was the secret sauce for me to get me from where I wanted to go. So when people have these laurels that they can rest on, right, if they're like super intelligence, there's a reason why they say, you know, the fortune favors the bold, not the brilliant because it's actually very true.

When you really think about these people who actually really get to really high heights of success, it's because they actually went after what they wanted. They were bold enough to ask for what they wanted to go after. They chased what they wanted versus just taking what they got. And when I noticed that at a young age, that's when my life really took a pivot and really changed for the better. Yeah, and so I loved learning about you. Me and you are friends, we should chat all the time, talk on the phone for an hour here and there.

And I didn't really know about your come-up story. And I come to find out that 12 years old, you got your first job at Olive Garden. And then from then on, you just sort of crawled your way to the top and created your own dream job later on, which was just so incredible to see. And I know that you always say that you see yourself in me when you talk to me.

And I never understood why. And it's because we're both too really scrappy woman who don't take no for an answer. And so I'd love to have my listeners understand how you went from all of Garden, Hostess, to then becoming a fitness trainer for celebrities. Well, by the way, let me just say one thing. Both of those things were not things

that were available to me. Like how I even got into the fitness business was a total fluke. just say one thing. Both of those things were not things that were available to me. How I even got into the fitness business was a total fluke. It wasn't my trajectory, right? And I'll get to that in a second. But when I was 12 years old, all my friends wanted to get jobs to make extra money. And they naturally thought of babysitting as their only option. And even at a young age like that, I never really thought that my optically. I thought, well, what are the options available? And then let me like place myself in one of those places. Because I really didn't want to

babysit. I wanted to make more money or what have you. So I did notice that the all who cardin was hiring was a new place in my house. And I walked in and asked the manager if I can work. And he laughed at me obviously because I was a new place in my house. And I walked in and asked the manager if I can work. And he laughed at me, obviously, because I was a kid. And you can't usually have kids working at a place where there's a liquor license. So that was my first entree, so to speak, in being bold, where I created an idea and an opportunity

for myself by suggesting myself being an greeter, where I would stand outside the restaurant, opening the door for people as opposed to being inside and seating people. And that way I'm not on the premises technically. And I think that I was he was so taken aback that I would actually even think of an opportunity like that when I was such a young person. He just said, sure, he gave it a shot. And that was when I first noticed, I think I might be on to something where it's not just

about what's available and what people think in their box of what's available is the only thing that is. I mean, you have to take agency and this is what I really talk about and this is something that I, it's part of my platform, my philosophy is that if you want something to happen for yourself you need to take agency and ownership of your own life and go after it and you can't rely on other people or other people's perceptions of what you should do and what society tells you to do to be the destiny of your future. So changing and reframing that type of mindset is crucial.

And so that led me down a path of always looking at things a little bit differently than other people. And so when I wrote this book, it really was something that I wasn't speaking, I'm not speaking from this white ivory tower of what you should do because I say so. It's more like, you know what, I'm just an average person from a small town and these things happen to work for me

and a lot of other people that I know who's actually reached success that they never even thought imaginable. And the through line through all of it is that they actually were bold. And so I just kind of talk about all these little experiences of bold moves that created this life. And that's how I view it. This is how I want people to think about it. It's a reframe of how you shift and take on life. We were talking before how your teacher called you average at best. How did that make you talking before how your teacher called you average at best. How did that make you think about life in terms of asking for what you want and taking bold moves?

Because I was sort of the only way you could get what you wanted, right? Yeah, and I think that if I was to be honest, I would say that kind of gave me like a little bit of a chip on my shoulder, right? Where I felt like I had to prove something and prove myself because of what she said about me and I felt like well I'll show her type of thing but you can use that type of

Negativity as fuel for you achieving and going after certain things and I don't believe in staying down for very long I believe like yeah, I did like lick my wounds, so to speak, and it was not easy to hear. But then I think being mediocre is actually a superpower. I think having mediocrity kind of helped me build grit and be resourceful because I had to learn how to do those things. Versus somebody who was just always naturally super smart, they can rest on their laurels. They never had to build character. They never had to build these other ancillary traits and skills because they can just rest on the fact that they were always told they were

the smartest or the prettiest. What I noticed in life is that if I really look at where they are in life and versus the other people that were mediocre, the imbalance is very obvious. 100%. I always look at who I graduated with from college and I had a terrible undergrad. I graduated with a 2.3 GPA because I was in my sorority, party, and cheerleading,

escaping my parents. And so I look at people who graduated with a 4.0 in undergrad and I'm like, wow, I sort of skyrocketed compared to them, but that's because to your point, when you're smart, you think that life is just all about taking tests and everything is just easy and you don't realize how to be creative, I guess, or how to get what you want without playing in the lawns. Yeah, I just feel like you're not forced to figure it out. I feel like recently, I did a talk at MIT, which is obviously MIT is where the smartest people

in the world go for college, right? And I did a talk under this program that they created called Fail, which is about resilience. And I thought to myself, this is really kind of ironic, right? Here I am at the school, where the hardest school in the world to get into with the most smartest people in the world. And I'm talking me, I am talking about failure

and resilience to these people, super surreal moment. And the reason why they even have that program and develop this program was because people who are always used to winning, when they fail, they can't handle it. And this particular situation was based around the fact that the suicide rate at MIT is so high. Because when they do fail, they don't have the wherewithal to understand and figure it out. Versus someone like me, who has failed so many times that I had to kind of learn how to be more resilient and I'm more disensitized to failure because

it's happened so often that when it happens now, I'm so immune to it that I don't care. I'll just get right back up and I'll try again, you know, and that's why when people ask me about this, I say, you know what, I have a master's in failing, but I have a PhD in getting myself right back up and trying it again. And it is the truth. And this is the point that if you are somebody who you think that you're just average or mediocre, that actually is a strength. That is a superpower for you.

That is not a weakness. And that can work to your advantage over and over again. If you just implement these small things to kind of create the bold life that you want. And so, for me, you don't have to be what your brain says you are. You have the power to change whatever that is. I don't believe in like,

you were born on this life to kind of find yourself. I believe in a life where you create yourself. Yeah, and I do wanna get into the content of your book, but I wanna spend time for my listeners to really get to know you, Jen. You have created this bold life, right? You started in the music industry similar to me, and then you literally ended up creating your own dream job leveraging your network everything that you had learned in the past and your passions.

I would love for you to tell that story of how you made that transformation. So yeah, I was working for the music world of Canadian and I was to work for another label, Sony in LA. And the job was, like, listening, like, I was a young girl, super young. I basically did very well. I was kind of like on the fast track that age to where I was going in the marketing department. And I got this job and it was a push job, making much more money than I thought I would make in the US versus Canada. Great office doing great things and then eventually the music industry started to really shift and change and this is back when. I just for very different we didn't have what we had now with those things spotify and these streaming platforms.

and these streaming platforms. The job started to change, and I didn't love where it was going. It was becoming much more of a digital play versus the A&R aspect, which is like artist relations, which was what I was like kind of like my sweet spot. And how old were you at this point? I don't know. I was probably like 25. Okay.

25 years old, 24. I was the youngest executive. Everyone else was at least 78 years older than I was. And I wanna tell listeners that when you're Canadian and you get a job in the US, for those who don't know, we have a working visa. So whoever sponsors you is where you have to work legally. And if you don't have that job,

you kind of have to go back to your country or else you have no other ways means of making money until you find another company dispenser you, right? So when I quit my job, I really had no other means of making money and I didn't want to go back to Canada. I wanted to stay in LA, I loved the weather, I loved the lifestyle.

So in that moment, I thought, you know what? I'm gonna go to school, I'm gonna become a personal trainer, just kind of like a placeholder until I figure out my next move. So that way I can make some money and then I can get paid under the table and that way then I can buy some time

until I figure out my next move. And that was really my intention in flamm. Like I didn't really have more than that. I had a direction, but I didn't really have much of a destination besides that. So I did that. But as I was going through getting my first certification, I have all this background and skill set, like transferable skills from being in the music world, knowing how marketing

budgets work, knowing how that world works. Basically, I went back to the label. I had a relationship with. And keep in mind, when you work in the music world, you know lots of people in the music space, in any industry, not just in the one place that you work, but I knew people at different labels all over the place. So I had this idea and I went back to one of the labels

I had a relationship with and I said, listen, I want to talk to you, but in an opportunity, I want to become a label trainer, where I would train the talent, and I would get paid like a finite amount of money, a retainer, no matter if people show up or not, and I know how the marketing budget works, I know how the money is allotted.

Let's do that. And in my brain, that was a much better way of making some money versus me doing what I was originally going to do, which was having a ceiling and being making some cash under the table, right? This way, I basically guaranteed money and I have an opportunity for this label to sponsor me. Therefore, it would be much more kosher and it would work out better. And the guy laughed at me and said, what do you know about training? I'm like, well, I have my first certification right here. And I know how to work with talent. Give me a shot. And with a little bit

controlling and ever so whatever else he agreed and gave me a shot. And it turned out well. And one label turned into two turned into three. And then low and behold, I was like this trainer to like all of these different record labels where I had to hire a bunch of trainers underneath me to like train people because there was only one me. And I created an entire fitness business by just a kind of a fluke by going down a different direction that I was otherwise doing, but I used the opportunity from all the other skills, and like I said, from the background I had,

and I combined the two into my own opportunity, and that changed the entire trajectory of my career. And like I said, you gotta take ownership, you gotta figure out, and you gotta create your own opportunities, and that's how it started. I love that story. It reminds me of this concept that I always talk about called skill stacking. Where basically you take all the experiences that you've had before and you put them together

in a unique way. And something that I'm curious about is that, yeah, I know you pretty well. Like you don't really like social media, right? You know you have to do it and you do it. You ended up blowing up on Instagram and I'm talking about real Instagram followers, not all these influencers up by their followers and things like that. You ended up really growing on Instagram. How did that happen? How did you start to build your brand? Because I think you even had a pair of sneakers at one point. And so how did you get so well known and blow up like that? There's like a big gap right in between not to age myself. But like at that time, there was no such thing as Instagram and there was no such thing as

social media. And I never sought out to be an influencer by any stretch. But my career took so many different evolutions. I wrote some books in the fitness space. I actually started some companies in the fitness space. My last company was a fitness app that got acquired by Weight Watchers five years ago. This stuff had nothing really to do with like social media. But I think what happened eventually was social media or followers or whatever you want to call it

was more of a byproduct of the other things I was doing. I wasn't seeking out that. That to byproduct of the other things I was doing. I wasn't seeking out that. That to me wasn't the business I was going after. And you're right. Like I'm not someone who's loving that stuff. I feel like it's something that it has to happen. And it's like a full-time plus job. But I never really concerned myself what everybody else was doing. I really concerned myself with what I wanted to do and what was good for me in terms of like my skill set, my strengths, my weaknesses, and all of that stuff

happened way, way after. If you focus on being really good at what you do and what you're doing, all that other stuff, people will know, like you have to be so good that people find you, that it's so good that people find you that it's so loud that people can't help but notice. Versus what's happening now, which is people are trying to have these big platforms on social media when they know nothing and then hope that people will show up in the world that I remember and

where I'm from. It's like you need to do the reverse. You need to be so excellent at what your craft is and learn it so well. It always be learning and always be upon it that all that other stuff becomes the byproduct. And I think that people just have it wrong a lot of times. And that's why I also feel that people have to be very weary of who they gave their information from on social media for this reason. Let's hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors. Young and profitors, do you have a brilliant business idea, but you don't know how to move forward with it? Going into debt for a four-year degree isn't the only path to success.

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There's a lot of people like you said. They don't even have an expertise, but they want to teach. Jen, you are one of the most, you know, networked people that I know. And you always tell me this, I do business in real life, right? And sometimes that matters more than this social media world. Or matters just as much, right? And we'll get into social boldness. But let's introduce your book first, okay?

So you wrote this book, bigger, better bolder, and you did it right off the heels of the pandemic, right? So why is it more important than ever for people to be bold after we just went through this pandemic for over two years? I think that it's really important. I think number one, it was actually off the heels of a TED talk that I did that went viral.

I did that TED talk right when the pandemic was happening. And what I noticed was, and what I think happened is that people realize that life is short and you have one time to live, it's a finite time. So why live in a place of good enough when you can actually try to self-actualize to who you wanna be and what you wanna do? The reason, again, that I wrote this book

was for people to have a rich life. And that's not about money and cars and planes. I mean, that's not what I mean by a rich life. What I mean by a rich life. What I mean by a rich life is a life that is fulfilling and satiating to you with meaningful relationships and experiences. And a lot of times, we don't even attempt at getting a lot of that. And we just kind of settle for what's in front of us because we have a lot of self-doubt or we don't think that we are good enough,

which comes back to that whole average or below average comment that you and I were talking about. And so I think it struck a chord when I did that TED Talk, because what happened was it did so well, I went viral, and because of that, I noticed that there was a real need for people to have that assurance and that extra boost, a nudge, I should say, of trying because of the fact that life is

so short. And I think what the pandemic did, it just showed us that we want to enjoy our time as much as possible, and we want to be fulfilled as much as we can. And just kind of like phoning it in isn't okay. And it's not good enough. And so if we can move that pendulum or that needle a little bit to actually create what we want, even better.

Yeah. And so you mentioned this phrase, not good enough, right? And I know in your book you talk about the good enough mindset. What is wrong with this type of mindset and how can we escape that kind of a mindset? You escape it by not putting up with it anymore. You know, this is not a magic pill. It's about having a little bit of self-awareness. And from that, knowing and looking at your life and being okay, you know what? Where am I phoning it in? Where could I improve? Where do I want to improve?

Where am I just kind of just taking what's in front of me? I mean, if you really do kind of an inventory on your life, not you personally, I'm saying in general, right? And if you think about all the people that you ask, like, oh, how's your marriage? It's okay. Or how's your job? Man, it's all right. Everything is just in this, it's okay. You know, status quo place. And I find that to be really upsetting, right? And by the way, I'm not any different.

I'm not singling myself out. I think it happens with me too. So you've got to constantly do this self-assessment and be like, where is this happening? You've got to really zero in on those places and attempt, attempt at making it better versus just being okay with this good enough idea. Like, I'm getting paid enough. My girlfriend is fine or my boyfriend is fine or my husband is fine. We want to strive for better.

We want to strive for the best. And that to me is self-actualization. You don't want to look back at your life and feel like, you know what? Yeah, I could have done that, but I didn't. I prefer, in my opinion, I'd rather have a ton of rejection than a little bit of regret. Right? Like regrets the worst thing.

That to me stays with you forever. Rejection, you get over it a little bit like you know, it never hurts for a second and then you move on eventually after a day or so. But regret, like I should have what if I did, that's like gut wrenching. And to me, that's where I'm trying to shift people's mindset from going away from that into a place that's much more authentic to who they really are. I think that's super powerful stuff and I couldn't agree more. I want to dig into a quote that I found in your book and I think it's really important.

You say asking and failing and asking again is the foundation of boldness, which I think is really, really interesting because it's so true. You've got to ask for what you want. So I'd love to hear more on that from you. If you ask for something and the answer is no, how do you look at it, Holla? If you look at, and I know you, I don't think of you as someone who's going to be like, no, okay. And then just kind of like walk away and never attempt again. You probably are similar to me where you think, well, that no means not right now. Yeah, Right? Of course. Right. And because of that mindset and that reframe of how you look at that, that's why you're successful. That's why you create

these little wins for yourself. It may have not have happened that day. It may have not have happened the next day, but it eventually will happen, either with that particular thing that you want, or by you continually trying, another opportunity will present itself that you never knew existed, because you got yourself up and you didn't think about that no as the worst thing that ever happens to you. And you have to think about something as what is the worst in that can happen. If we thought that in every situation, people would make way more attempts to get closer to what they want.

Like what is the worst that can happen? Like okay, that person said no. All right, I'll try again later or maybe I'll do this thing or I'm able to do that thing. But it's not about you being extraordinarily talented or extraordinarily smart. But what sets you apart is that you are persistent, you're relentless and tenacious,

and you don't see it as the end all be all, right? And so it's like kind of like the squeaky wheel gets the oil. These are all things because they're actually true, right? Yeah, these are saying because these are actually truisms. And I think that what happens is we try to complicate these very simple truisms in life versus just taking them for what they are and then acting on them. And I want to go back to what we were talking about

in terms of the good enough mindset, because I was going to say something before and then it flew out of my head. There are actually weak spots, all those things that you were talking about in terms of the good enough mindset, because I was gonna say something before that it flew out of my head. There are actually weak spots. All those things that you were talking about in terms of, oh, your relationships, mad, your work is mad. Anything that you feel mad about is something that could collapse

and is a red flag in your life that you need to look at and then see how do you actually make that stronger and like you said, the best, and that takes making bold moves, right? So I'd love to understand your definition of boldness because I have a feeling it's a little different than what we all think. Well, from what you just said about this,

like these red flags that are put on these situations, I have this whole theory, and I put this in the book actually, these three Fs, which is this pharma, fix it or forget it. Versus just dwelling. And to me, if you have a weakness, there's three things that you can do about it. You can fix it. You can farm it out.

You're right, delegate to elevate, right, or you could forget it. Accept it for what it is and move on and don't let that slow you down I talk about this also it's like I always hated my nose, right? Like as a kid as an adult whatever and never like and you can look at it now and It made me feel like oh, I was so ugly. I wasn't this. I wasn't that and eventually I'm like well I didn't farm it out right right? I didn't fix it. So I had to just eventually forget about it. And then I never at least thought about it again.

It didn't really slow me down. Maybe in my own head or maybe someone that thinks I'm not as attractive. Who cares? But if you can find these pillars or compartments to place these weaknesses that you feel are so hard and weak into one of these buckets and then let yourself kind of move past them and go, you're not allowing that thing to be a weight on your shoulders.

Love that, by the way. Thank you. And it's the truth, right? Like, we all have these things about us that we don't like about ourselves, right? We all do. And then we let that one thing stop us from going after whatever it is, that guy that you like, that job, whatever it is, is it post to figuring out a way to deal with that one weakness, to not let that hold you back from your whole life ahead of you?

When I was younger and there was a guy I liked, right? I let the fact that I thought I had a big, bad ugly nose hold me back until I figured it out. Like, all right, I'm gonna forget about that. If I liked somebody, I was gonna ask them out. I wasn't gonna just go out with a person who asked me out. To me, that's like putting agency and ownership in someone else's hands. And then I'm only doing what someone else is offering me.

Going back to the asking, right? Ask for what you want. Don't just take what you get. Exactly. And it's just, it's very freeing when you're able to do that with a weakness. And then you lean into these strengths. So we all have strengths just as we all have these weaknesses. If we really lean into those strengths, we can dominate and not let those weaknesses be the ones that are dictating our life choices. Yeah, I love that. So, Jen, you break down boldness into two categories, social boldness and self-actualization.

So, I'd love to first talk about social boldness. You are truly an expert in this space. I think this is honestly one of your best qualities in my opinion. Social boldness is about getting what you want in your career relationships and connections. So I'd love for you to explain what that is and how we can put it into practice. Yeah, social boldness is the reason why that is there, by the way, also is that you could be bold in one area of your life and not be bold in another area of your life. It's not that you're either bold or you're not, which is a whole other area that we can talk about afterward, if you like. But there is different kinds of boldness. And that

social boldness is all about, you could be very extroverted and socially bold and bold in building relationships and in your overall social communications. And I find that if someone is needing to be more bold in those areas, then that's the area that they can focus on. The self-actualization boldness is much more about if there's actually something that you're really trying to accomplish, like climbing Mt. Killaman Jarrow, right? That actually makes you more self-actualized

internally as a human. I have this whole bold types quiz that you can take to see where you fit and where you are, but I wanna talk a little bit about the fact that I get this question a lot, and that is, do you have to be born bold? And the answer to that is absolutely not. I think boldness is a skill,

like anything else, if you wanna become good at karate or Spanish or whatever you want, you need to practice it and you could get better at it. And I think of boldness is the same way. If you are somebody who is naturally not bold, more shy or feels nervous about standing up for themselves and asking for what they want. You can absolutely change that behavior pattern by practicing these little bold moves daily to increase your boldness. And what I do in this book is I give people these actionable things that they can do

to actually go from a place of shyness or find the courage, I should say, or the bravery to ask for what they want tomorrow where they don't feel the courage today to ask for and so a little bold move can be something as simple as Going to a restaurant and asking for salad resting on the side of your salad people for salad dressing on the side of your salad. People feel so uncomfortable by asking for such little things. And in my opinion, it's like if you are uncomfortable asking for these little things, how are you going to get comfortable asking for the bigger things? So it's like challenge yourself to just ask for what you want. Even if it's not a big deal, or you don't even care that much about it, just to put yourself out there so you can practice and sort of build that habit. Right.

And there's a person I know, a friend of mine, who attempted this, and I was talking to them about this. And what he did was everywhere he went for six months, he asked if there was some kind of discount, some kind of like local discount that he can have or get by anywhere. He would go to the coffee shop and ask, he would go to the mall and ask like a whatever, like a clothing store, he would ask the movie theater, he saved $7,000 in six months. By just asking the question, and it wasn't for the money that he just so happened to save 7000. He actually saved 7000.

But again, that was the byproduct. It was a test to see what happens when you ask and if you ask what you get and to become more comfortable in the process of asking. So he became so comfortable in asking that then he started asking everywhere and at all things. So he realized that all these local joints around him, he got 10% off, he got 20% off. Most of the restaurants, no one even knew that they had all these little discounts for people who are locals

or who were 40 and whatever. I don't even remember exactly what they were, but as I'm gonna say, like 65 and were, but I was gonna say like 65 and under, but he was much younger than that. But my point is, there are so many little things if you just put yourself in a situation or just ask the question. Yeah.

And so if I have this right, social boldness is about asking for what you want with friends, family, colleagues at work, for example. Does it help us build a better network when we do that? Well, this is the thing, right? So it's not just about this sheer ass gas gas for what you want. Boldness is much more than just asking for what you want. It's about a mindset.

It's about having this life that you curate for yourself and take initiative on and take ownership of. It's not just, Hala, I want this, I want that, I want that. But I do talk about this idea, this thing called the Bold of Directors, which is creating a team around you who are like-minded, who have the similar goals than you as you,

who want you to win, who don't want you to lose, who are great people to kind of just riff with and see if like there's a way to help each other out. You are some of the five people you surround yourself with, right? That's just a known fact, right? So you want to make sure you put yourself in circumstances around people who can help you win and elevate. So that's the idea. It's first to build these bolder directors around you versus, you know, I call it like bold versus

board of directors, where it's a mutually benefiting relationship. It's not like you're constantly taking and taking. It's like, how can I help you? How can you help me? Who do you know? How do I know? It's like kind of like a very mutually beneficial relationship where these people want for you what you want for yourself. In life, no one is self-made. I don't believe in that. I think that's a load of crap.

I think that someone had to like lend you a helping hand somewhere down the road, right? It could be something that's so trite and small. It's like letting you sleep on his couch for a day or for a week or giving you some advice or having a meal with someone. Not everything has to be these like huge outlandish over ways of giving, but I believe that being collaborative and helpful and having good people surrounding you that can help you get to these things is super important. Yeah, so boldness like you mentioned is a skill that can be learned. So I'd love to understand if you have some, like, hacks that we can take with us. I know everyone's

going to go out and get your buck, but what can you tell us in terms of how we can actually learn boldness as a skill? It's a muscle, like anything else that you have to work on consistently. You know, if you want to be strong, right, I'm going to use a fitness analogy, okay? If you want to be strong, you don't go to the gym one day and think you're going work on consistently. If you want to be strong, I'm going to use a fitness analogy. If you want to be strong, you don't go to the gym one day and think you're going to be strong for life. Same thing with being bold. Bold is for life.

You have to work that muscle and continually and consistently to be able to be bold and practice over and over again. Why doing these little bold moves daily or doing things daily to kind of like increase the building of your bold, so to speak, it helps build this as a skill, right? So if you do these small little bold moves daily, if you could do it consistently, if you see yourself winning, this is very much tied into like a confidence piece, right? Like, you know, when you want to build confidence, the best way to build confidence is to have these small wins. That last win gives you the confidence to do the next win.

That is the same thing with being bold. You've got to do these little wins and see yourself achieving them to give you that extra oomph to be bold again. And as you go, these accumulate and compound over time. And eventually, you become much more bold. But you've got to start somewhere. And the reality really is, it's momentum, right? Something in motion stays in motion. Something that's stagnant, stays stagnant.

And that's why you see these people, a lot of times, people who have a job are usually the ones who get another job offer, or that people in relationships are the ones who usually meet somebody else, because they were already doing it. And that's why another cliche for you would be like, if you want something done, you give it to a busy person, because it's the idea that something is that's going and doing. So true.

Right? It's unbelievable. If I have something that needs to be done in errand and I'm giving it to someone who has nothing to do, I'll be waiting until Doomsday for that thing to happen. Versus, that's why a lot of times I'm like, I'll just do it myself because I know I'll get it done because I'm already going and doing. Again, there's a reason why these things are these are saying it's because it's actually very true. There is no secret that's beyond that type of mentality, but it's something that's true. If you're just sitting there waiting for opportunity, while you're not doing anything for,

you'll be waiting a long time, you've got to create your own opportunities. Yeah, and I totally agree, but here's the thing. A lot of people, people who might be reading your book or listening to this show, they might consider themselves to be like timid, shy, polite, extremely polite, and doing things like sending food back at a restaurant might terrify them. So I'd love to understand, from your perspective,

how can people get over that hump if they feel like I don't want to be mean, you know? Well, right, and that's what I was love to understand from your perspective, how can people get over that hump if they feel like I don't want to be mean, you know? Well, right, and that's what I was saying to you earlier, is that you have to get over that ideology if you want to get to a place of a life that you've curated for yourself. The reality is this, this is not for everybody, right? This is for people who want change and want to live at a higher elevation of what they were what they are doing now. If this is for someone who is at a job and they don't want to be at that job, but they really want to have a different job that they really like. They want to have been a relationship.

They love they want to have meaningful relationships meaningful experiences with meaningful people. If you're happy with just settling for second best and good enough, then what do I care? I mean, all the power to you. But the part of this whole thing is like realizing that like not everybody likes vanilla, not everyone loves chocolate. You're not going to please everybody all the time. Everyone has an ideology of what they want and what they like. If this is something that's not interesting to you, then it's not interesting for you. But truthfully, I think if we really were being honest with ourselves, we all want to live something closer, sometimes to a life that's much more

authentic to who we are, versus to what is sometimes around us and available. I was not necessarily born bold. I was super insecure. I was super shy and timid at some point, but I realized it really wasn't getting me very far. And then when I started to ask a little bit and be a little bold, what I was actually getting from it. And because of that, it propelled me to keep on going. It's like exercise, right? It's like anything.

The stop is in the start. It's always easy to think of all the reasons why something will go wrong, why it's not good for you, why you shouldn't, and how you're going to hurt this person or a fan that person. It's not what you say, it's how you say it. You can be bold and not be rude. You can be bold and not be rude. You can be bold and not be bitchy. I think there's a misconntation of what the word bold

really does mean. It doesn't mean be overtly rude and aggressive. It means taking ownership and a stand for who you are and what you want out of your life and what you are willing to accept and act accordingly. That's all it is. By the way, you can be shy, but also be bold. You can be more timid, but also be bold in other ways,

but you've got to pick and choose what is important to you and where you need to be bolder, where you want to be bolder. And that's the point. That's why I was saying earlier, it's about having bold types. You can sometimes maybe like being okay with what food is given to you, if it's cold or at the restaurant, you don't want to make a stir. But maybe one area that you really want to improve

is the fact that you're in a relationship and you're not getting the emotional connectedness that you are looking for. And you're just accepting that because you don't want to make a stir. Maybe that's where your pain point is. But figure out what that pain point is, that's really bothering you, that's really holding you back, and then make a change. If you want to eat cold food all day, eat cold food all day, maybe a lot of people don't care if they, like I'm not even being funny, I'm serious. I'm maybe like, okay fine. So I had the salad

dressing on. I'm still going to eat it. I'm hungry. That's like a microcosm. But in real life, there's other areas where that may not suit you and serve you well. Yeah, you're gonna grow up like you said having a lot of regrets about the time that you wasted and things like that. The chances that you didn't take will be right back after a quick break from our sponsors. You hear that sound, young and profitors? You should know that sound by now, but in case you don't, that's the sound of another sale on Shopify.

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Gen X, right? I'm a millennial, you're Gen X. You mentioned that you feel like Gen X people are more likely to be bold because of the way that they grew up, which I thought was really interesting and the way that they were parented. And I know that you have two kids. So I'd love to understand why you think maybe Gen Z millennials are at a disadvantage when it comes to being bold not everyone because there's definitely exceptions of course. And also how you've learned to then make sure that your kids act in bold ways.

That's a good question. I like that. I talk about that in my book. I actually this is something I truly believe in. What I refer to a lot is what's happening in the world today is caudal culture, where we get caudal delot. God forbid you say the wrong thing, or you do the wrong thing, you get canceled right away. And there's a lot of helicoptering parents out there who helicopter their kids to such a place where everybody wins and gets a participation trophy.

All of those things, I think, are doing it to service for a lot of people in the world, our kids in the world, let's say, right? Because that's not how real life is, right? Not everyone in life gets a participation trophy. You know, the more you coddle and just caress people because you're nervous and scared of them failing is not teaching you or growing and you would any real way. And it's like not actually accurate to how life really works. And when I was younger, we had much more of figure it out type of approach, you know, like not everything, not everyone was getting some people were getting the participation trophies, but not where I was. But I feel like we need to learn how to be okay, not being okay. We need to learn how to be uncomfortable and be uncomfortable in discomfort, right? And failing, we need to learn how to be resilient. And the only way you learn how to be

resilient is to actually fail and then pick yourself up again and try again. And again. And this is why I feel when the whole idea of, again, we're not talking about everybody. But I think in a time that we are right now with the participation trophy and the helicopter in parents and the idea that I'm enough and all these body positivity, there's all these hashtags where it gives people this permission to be okay with the status quo or with who they are. And my entire message about that is about, well, is it okay? Don't you want to be the best version of yourself? Don't you want to grow?

Don't you want to self-actualize to your fullest potential? I know when I'm lying on my deathbed, God willing not for many, many, many more years, but I want to know that I did absolutely everything I can to have and use all the potential I had and try to make my life as complete and full as possible. And not fall on this ideology. It's like, oh, it was okay. I gave myself permission to maintain being okay and live a very average life. There's a big distinction, I want to say Feeling mediocre and living average being average, right?

I'm talking about like how we view ourselves, right when we view ourselves younger as average or mediocre that works or our benefit But that's not the same thing as I'm living my life. It's okay and it's average because then you have the onus to make it better. I'm smiling because you're reminding me I was talking to you offline that I broke up with my boyfriend and so I'm on the market and I'm looking for new new guys you know what I mean. I love that anyone any takers. You talked about this idea of self actualization it is such a compelling thing it's such an attractive thing to have somebody who goes after what they want and who can create things and self-actualize for themselves. And I meet so many guys who seem great, they're cute, they're handsome, they seem smart.

And then like they've got like a very boring job that they've been in for 20 years. And to me, kudos to you, but it's unattractive to me. Because I'm like, well, what have you self-actualized? Like, you've got a job after college and then you just stayed there, you know what I mean? And so for me, I feel like this concept of self-actualization is something that I've been thinking about a lot because I feel like it's such an attractive quality in a person. I think it's very attractive. I agree with you. I think that there's nothing less attractive than somebody who just

is fine with like letting themselves be okay with status quo. I think the most attractive thing in the world was when people want to push to be better because who wants to stagnate in life? The truth of the matter is I don't think anybody does, but I think what happens is think anybody does. But I think what happens is life happens and then it goes fast and we're busy and then we forget and we're tired and we don't have the energy and effort to put in to what it means to do something else. That's really where where it gets like the rub, right? Because if we're not going to be focusing on that, then what's the point? One day, we'll bleed into another, that bleeds into another, and they look back in 20 years, and you never did any of those things that you wanted to ever do when you were a kid or accomplished when you were a kid. Don't let that happen to you. You have the ability to take that control

into your hands and be the CEO, so to speak of your own life, and make things like change that trajectory for you. That is the point. I think it's very hard sometimes because we do get in the rut of life. And you have to make a decision of what you want from your life and how you want to live that life. And you don't have to have a destination necessarily, but have a direction and play out that direction. Because a lot of times, just in that process, all these doors open to you that you never even knew existed because you never ever went down that road before. I think you should go watch my Instagram and you tell me if you think my kids are bold. My little girl who seven years old did a post about buying my bigger better. She's like, I, I, I, just

like, welcome to my channel. And I want you to buy my mom's book, Bigger Better Bolder. It's so cute. And the reason why I think it's, well, it's cute because she's my kid. But that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying kids learn not by words, but by watching, by action. Your kids mimic you. So you can say all you want, talk, talk, talk. But what they are actually really kind of tuning into is what you're doing. And they mimic what they see, not what they hear. And I may be a lot of things in the world, Hala, but one thing I am 100% through and through is honest and authentic and real. Whatever I preach, I practice 1 million percent. I'm not just sitting here blabbing and blabbing and then not actually practicing it all the time.

And my kids see it. And so my message and why I'm even saying that is, my kids, they're kids, right? They may not listen all the time and they do their own thing. But I think little essences of what they see does slowly seep in. They see me exercising all the time. They know that movement's really important for me. That's a healthy habit that I believe that

we should all kind of integrate into our lives, not because having a great ass or great legs, but because of the cognitive abilities and what it does for you in confidence and mental toughness and strength. So I do that and they see that I think every parent should really kind of try to instill the importance of activity, because of the, what the other stuff, the byproducts that they get from that as well. If you want your kids to be a certain way, you've got to be a great moral model and show them,

and then that's how they learn. Yeah, I love that, because it's often forgotten. A lot of people like their great moral models at work, and then they come home when they watch TV all night or something, and that's what their kids see in terms of like what home life is supposed to be. That's a really good point, because I think a lot of times we give all our energy to sometimes one in one area, we go super hard in one area of our life,

and then we forget about these other areas that are actually real life, more important. I talk about this whole energy allocation theory that I have. And that is that puts certain things on autopilot up your life. So then you have energy allocated to the things that really matter. And for me, what really matters are my kids. And so I'm never too tired for my kids. So no matter what, I'm going to allocate energy towards them so I can have a balanced life. no matter what, I'm going to allocate energy towards them so I can have a balanced life. And to me, that's about being bold. It's about recognizing these weak spots of what happens in your life because when you have

a busy career and you got a busy life professionally, it's really easy to lose sight of all those other things personally that you just say, oh, I'll get to it some other time. But having again, like to circle it all back, having a rich life is having a rich life both personally and professionally with meaning and fulfillment. And you want to create that life balance for yourself. You got to curate that for yourself. So do certain things and put certain things on autopilot. So you do have time for those really important things

like your kids. Hmm. I love this. And I think this is a great way to close out the show. So Jennifer, it was so great to have you on. I always ask two questions at the end of the show that are the same and then we do some fun stuff with them at the end of the year. So the first one is what is one actionable thing that our young and profitors can do today to become more profiting tomorrow.

They can start acting bold by doing one bold move a day for the next 30 days. Amazing. And what is your secret to profiting in life? And like you, it's very similar to your rich life concept profiting in all areas of your life. Collaborations. Collaborative people who are like-minded,

who also want to see you win, and you guys help each other again. Nothing is done in a vacuum. You need to have to have a supportive, really good people to help elevate. And like I said, nobody's self-made. If you want to be successful, surround yourself with success. Love it. And where can everybody learn more about you and get your latest book, Bigger Better Boulder? You can buy my book at any fine bookstore, Amazon. There's Barnes and Noble anywhere you would normally find a book. They can find me at the real Jen Cohen. They can go on my website, Jennifer Cohen dot com. They can find me on habits

and hustle, which is my podcast. Amazing. We're going to put all those links in the show notes. I had such a fun time talking with you. It's always a pleasure, Jen. Thanks for coming on the show. Thank you for having me, Hulla. Yeah, Pam. It's always a good time when one of my friends comes on the show. It's just such good, natural, organic energy. And I get to learn about my friends in ways that I never did before. It's super funny to have seen how Jennifer's come up story is so similar to mine. And it's no wonder that we hit it off right away and we get along so well. When Jen was young, she struggled in school and she was sent for extra tutoring

because of her poor performance. And after a teacher said that she would be nothing but average at best, young Jen stepped out of herself and into her boldness. And she clawed her way to the top. She was super scrappy and today, Jennifer is one of the most influential entrepreneurs in the health and fitness industry. And I'm proud to call her one of my clients at the YAP Media Network. I want you to remember, YAP Bam.

Every successful person has a different background. Their background will never be your background. Every successful person has followed a different path, and that path won't be your path. Every successful person use different strategies to get to the top, and those strategies won't be your path. Every successful person used different strategies to get to the top and those strategies won't be your strategies. But there's one thing I know. And there's one thing I know for sure is that every successful person took bold, decisive action more than once. Boldness is a common thread and it's more important than brains or connections in your network.

It's what separates top performers from those who don't achieve their potential. And I hope this episode inspires you to be bold, take risks, go after what you deserve, ask for what you want, and exercise your boldness every single day. And guys, if you listen learned and profited, share this episode with your friends or family. And while you're at it, drop us a five-star review on Apple, and I have to say, nothing makes me happier than reading your positive reviews. You guys can find me on social media, I'm on Instagram at Gap with Hala. You can also find me on LinkedIn.

Search my name. It's Hala Taha. Big shout out to my Yap team. Super excited for 2023. We're gonna crush this year. This is your host, Hala Taha, big shout out to my Yap team, super excited for 2023. We're going to crush this year. This is your host, Hala Taha, signing off. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Are you looking for ways to be happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative? I'm Gretchen Ruben, the number one best-selling author of the Happiness Project.

And every week, we share ideas and practical solutions on the Happier with Gretchen Ruben Podcast. My co-host and Happiness Guinea Pig is my sister Elizabeth Kraft. That's me, Elizabeth Kraft, a TV writer and producer in Hollywood. Join us as we explore fresh insights from cutting-edge science, ancient wisdom, pop culture, and our own experiences about cultivating happiness and good habits. Every week we offer a try this at home tip

you can use to boost your happiness without spending a lot of time, energy, or money. Suggestions such as follow the one-minute rule. Choose Choose a one word theme for the year or design your summer. We also feature segments like, know yourself better, where we discuss questions like, are you an over buyer or an under buyer? Morning person or night person, abundance lever or simplicity lever. And every episode includes a happiness hack, a quick, easy shortcut to more happiness. Listen and follow the podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin.

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