Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - Kute Blackson: The Magic of Surrender | E162

Episode Date: March 21, 2022

Transformational guide, speaker, and author, Kute Blackson knows that this is possible for each of us. He believes that by trusting your instincts, following your soul, and surrendering, you can find your true calling and live an authentic life. How does Kute know this? Because he has lived it himself. Kute grew up the son of a respected spiritual leader. By age 8, Kute was speaking to his father's congregations of over 3,000 people. By 14, Kute was tapped to follow in his father’s footsteps. But Kute knew this wasn’t the life he was meant for. So at age 18, Kute disobeyed his parents' expectations and moved to America.  In this episode, Hala and Kute give actionable tips for finding your purpose, discuss the difference between ego and soul, talk about how surrender allows us to dream bigger, discuss the difference between suffering and pain, and enlighten listeners on how to follow their soul, and become the truest version of themselves. Topics Include: - Kute’s Childhood - The story of how Kute’s mother and father met - When Kute decided he didn’t want to follow in his father’s footsteps - How Kute discovered that personal development was his interest  - Three questions to ask when you want to start making changes - How pain is a gift  - How to find your true calling - How Kute’s mother’s passing influenced him to write his book - Why surrendering is the most powerful thing we can do  - What is suffering and how can we avoid it - The difference between suffering and pain  - Compare and contrast the ego and soul  - And other topics…  Kute Blackson is a transformational guide, speaker, and the author of the national bestselling book You Are The One. Kute’s latest book is The Magic of Surrender.  Kute is considered the next generation leader in the field of personal development by everyone ranging from Larry King to Jack Canfield, Marianne Williamson, and more. Kute has been featured on Larry King Now, Fox and Friends, and Dr. Drew. Inc magazine calls him ‘The Mindfulness Guru Billionaires Go-To For Advice’. For over 20 years, Kute Blackson has been inspiring audiences around the world. When he was just 8 years old, Kute spoke in front of 3,000 people, by age 18 he was speaking in over 300 venues around the world. Today Kute works with individuals and major organizations to develop authentic leadership and increase performance. His mission is to awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically, and fulfill their true life’s purpose. Sponsored By: WRKOUT - Visit wrkout.com/yap to book a FREE Session with a world-class trainer and get 30% off your first TWO MONTHS with code YAP 99designs by Vista - Head to 99designs.com/YAP to learn more and get $30 off your first design contest! Native - Go to Nativedeo.com/yap or use promo code YAP at checkout, and get 20% off your first order. Constant Contact - To start your free digital marketing trial today, visit constantcontact.com Sandland Sleep - Go to sandlandsleep.com and use the promo code YAP15 Resources Mentioned:  Website: https://themagicofsurrender.com/ https://kuteblackson.com/ You. Are. The. One. by Kute Blackson: https://www.amazon.com/You-Are-One-Adventure-Discovering/dp/1501127276  The Magic of Surrender by Kute Blackson: https://www.amazon.com/Magic-Surrender-Finding-Courage-Let/dp/0593189094/  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kute-blackson-35755519/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kuteblackson/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/kuteblackson YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtD6zAv6aPq7OQtB5kLAghg Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kuteblackson Blog: https://kuteblackson.com/blog/ Connect with Young and Profiting: YAP’s Instagram: www.instagram.com/youngandprofiting   Hala’s Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/htaha/   Hala’s Instagram: www.instagram.com/yapwithhala   Website: www.youngandprofiting.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode of YAP is sponsored in part by Shopify. Shopify simplifies selling online and in-person so you can focus on successfully growing your business. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash profiting. Booba one will save you on all your eats. Savings can't be beat. Up to 10 percent of your order. Join Booba one and save $0.00 delivery fee Percentage Off Discount Subjects to Old Minimums and Participating

Source. Taxes and other fee still apply. You're listening to YAP, Young and Profiting Podcast. A place where you can listen, learn, and profit. Welcome to the show. I'm your host, Halla Taha, and on Young and Profiting Podcast, we investigate a new topic each week and interview some of the brightest minds in the world. My goal is to turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your everyday

life, no matter your age, profession or industry. There's no fluff on this podcast, and that's on purpose. I'm here to uncover value from my guests by doing the proper research and asking the right questions. If you're new to the show, we've chatted with the likes of XFBI agents, real estate moguls, self-made billionaires, CEOs, and bestselling authors. Our subject matter ranges from enhancing productivity,

had to gain influence, the art of entrepreneurship, and more. If you're smart and like to continually improve yourself, hit the subscribe button because you'll love it here at Young & Profiting Podcast. This week on YAP, we're chatting with Koot Blackson. Koot is a visionary in the field of personal development. He's a transformational teacher, speaker, guide, and national bestselling author of You Are the One and the Magic of Surrender. He's also the host of the podcast Soul Talk.

We all want to be passionate about what we're doing and feel like we're contributing to a society in the best way we can. This means different things for each of us. Some people are meant to be artists, others, bankers, builders, teachers, you name it. But we can feel pressured by friends, family, and society to behave a certain way, to have a particular career or to live a specific lifestyle. So we make compromises and we give up on our dreams. Or in some cases, we don't even allow ourselves to imagine a life where we feel happy and fulfilled. But what if you could feel like you were doing what you were put on this earth to exactly do? What if you felt

like you were your most authentic self? Koo believes this is possible, and he's dedicated his life to helping people around the world find inner freedom, live authentically, and fulfill their life's purpose. In this episode, Koo will share some wisdom about finding your purpose and becoming who you're meant to be. It can be really scary to make a life change, or to take the time to search for your true purpose, but I promise, it can pay off. If we want to be living, fulfilling, and purposeful lives, we've got to take risks sometimes

and explore new opportunities. Tune in to this episode to hear Koooot explain the three questions necessary to make a change in your life and how to find your true calling and inner freedom. We'll learn why surrendering is the most powerful thing you can do, the differences between pain and suffering, and so much more. If you're wanting to change your life and find your true purpose, this episode is for you. Hey, Koot, welcome to Young and Profiting Podcast. Thanks for having me, great to be here. I'm so excited for this conversation. You are a transformational guide speaker and author,

and you have such a unique story, and I can't wait to talk about your most recently released book, The Magic of Surrender and Finding the Courage to Like Go. But first, I wanted to start off by touching on your background story. I learned that you were born in Ghana, you were raised in London, you also grew up in a spiritual family and your father was a minister. And your parents actually met in a really unique way. So I'd love to hear that story. I learned that your mother was Japanese,

your father was from Ghana, and so they couldn't really easily speak to each other. So I think this was a really interesting story and definitely impacted how you grew up and who you turned out to be in as adult. So I'd love to hear that story. Yeah, basically it's an interesting story. My father born in Ghana was definitely one

of the poorest parts in Ghana on a concrete floor in the middle of nowhere, basically. And so when he was, we're talking in the late 30s, mid-fortness, beginning of 1940-ish, he would have these visions of a Japanese group, a Japanese spiritual teacher that would come to him in his dream when he was around eight years old and teach him about life and the universe and the cosmos and the meaning of existence. And so I imagine his African kid

getting a download from the Japanese guru that he'd never met. And so when my father was 15 in Ghana, he had this sort of religious conversion. So to speak, gave his life to God, wanted to be a priest, became a minister. At 15, my father started healing people. Imagine a 15-year-old kid, he starts putting his hands on people, blind people seeing deaf people hearing, people standing up out of the wheelchairs. You look at a person in the wheelchairs, they stand up, you're not sick, and they would stand up. So this 15-year-old kid became a phenomenon. At 15 onwards, thousands of people flocked to him. He started a church that grew into 300 churches and he became huge. He was the spiritual teacher to presidents and kings and Ghana and all across Africa. And so when my father was 37 years old, he was in a store in Ghana, or in Africa. A book falls off the

shelf. He looks at the back of the book and he sees the face of this Japanese guru who'd been coming to him his entire life starting from when he was eight years old. He didn't know of this Japanese guru who'd been coming to him his entire life starting from when he was eight years old. He didn't know that this Japanese guru was a real person. He writes to this man, he says, you've been coming to me teaching me since I was eight years old. I didn't know you were real. I just saw your face on the back of the book.

I can't even believe this. This man sends his son-in-law, basically his son, since this is his son-in-law, to meet my father in Ghana. They didn't have internet back then. So since his son-in-law, son-in-law is so impressed with my father and his work invites my father to go to Japan, to meet the guru, to go on a huge lecture tour with the guru around Japan. This is in the mid-70s. Now my father, his first wife died, he had three kids and he says to the son-in-law, look I'm looking for a wife, I'm ready for a wife, just please pray for me, right?

And a man says no problem. The son-in-law goes back to Japan, he gives a talk, he announces to everyone, this African man, the miracle man of Africa is coming to Japan to go on a lecture tour without teacher, so here are the dates. My mother was in the audience, my mother, this was her spiritual teacher, the Japanese guru. She grew up in this organization meditating and one, have you? My mother's 28, 29 years old in Japan at that moment. If you're not married by 22, 23, your old, your life is over. It's finished, right? And so she's 28, 29, almost 30. Her life is over.

She's been proposed to. She's turned them down. She made a prayer. She said, God, I will marry. She said, basically, I surrender. I will marry anyone you tell me to marry. I don't care who he is. Black, white, green, orange, tall, short, fat, skinny, rich, poor, street sweeper.

But just make it clear that this person is my soulmate and my life partner. Give me an undeniable note. She's an audience. She hears about my father coming to Japan. She feels chills in her body. Guess the sense this is my husband. My mother doesn't speak English.

My father doesn't speak Japanese. She writes through a Transylvania her sister. She writes to my father, my father's in London on his way to Japan. He's meditating. In his meditation, he gets a guidance that says, you're always coming to you tomorrow, he goes to the mailbox. There's a letter from my mother.

He opens the letter. He says, this is my wife. In the letter, nothing romantic. It just says, look forward to hearing you speak in Japan. Come, wait to hear your lecture. He says, this is my wife, no internet, no Facebook, no Instagram stalking, no pictures, no nothing, no phone call. He writes to her and he says, would you be open to moving

to Ghana? My mother writes back through the sister translate and says, if it's God's will, he writes back and says, yes, it's God's will. They agree to get married, sit on sea. My father goes to Japan, goes on a lecture tour with the guru, meets my mother for the first time, with translators, with shaperones. They are 45 minutes by themselves.

They look at each other. They can't speak. They agreed to get married. Now, they have a wedding date. My father's on this lecture tour. They have a wedding date. They can't imagine. Black guy, Japanese woman, mid-70s, can't say hello, can't have a conversation.

They've agreed to get married just because they feel this deep soul connection. My father has no money by Japanese standards. He's not doing this, he's not speaking as a career, he's going as a form of service. So he doesn't have money to throw Japanese wedding. He meditates, he prays, and God says, just chill. So he's like, okay, I'm just gonna chill.

I'm just gonna, I going to just trust the universe. He goes on a six-week lecture toward the guru. He doesn't get paid. He hasn't told anyone. He goes through his mailbox at the end of the six weeks. There is an envelope for $7,000, which was, you know, a decent amount of money back in the $17,000, $7,000 in USD cash.

All it says in this envelope is this is for your wedding. That was it, anonymous no name. They get married. They go to Japan. They can't talk on their honeymoon. They have me a year later. And that was how they met crazy story of real surrender and really trusting the universe.

Wow, I love that story. I have chills from that story. And I can't wait to kind of unpack that later on as we get into the details of the book, but that's phenomenal, and the fact that they were just so certain that they were meant for each other. What was it like growing up with an interracial mom and dad?

I mean, that was a very unique experience, especially back then. What was that like for you? It was unique, but it wasn't unique to me because it just felt normal. And I think that was beautiful. Like, I've always, like, I was born in Ghana. My father's Ghanaian, as black as you can get.

My mother's as Japanese as you can get. I grew up in London. And so I never felt like I was from anywhere. I never felt like I was. People would say, do you feel Ghanaian? I'm like, yes, but no. Do you feel Japanese? Yes, but no. Do you feel British? Yes, but no. And so I always felt that I was, people would say, do you feel gony? And I'm like, yes, but no. Do you feel Japanese? Yes, but no.

Do you feel British? Yes, but no. And so I always felt that I was a soul. And I felt, I always grew up with the sense that the soul doesn't have a color. The soul doesn't have a race. The soul doesn't have some sort of national identity. And so, you know, I grew up with, you know, honestly,

with my mother who is so Japanese, but I literally, for the mother who was so Japanese, but I literally for the first years of my life saw no color. And so it was a really profound experience for me of pure love, honestly, pure love. And there were so many differences between my father's culture and the Japanese culture, kind of polar opposites. And yet, I think, and there would look, there were a lot of challenges between my mother

and my father and different cultures, and my father's a hell of a character. And yet, I felt very, very blessed to have the which experience of Japan and Africa. And I always felt like I was from everywhere and nowhere. The gift that came out of that experience growing up was the ability to go anywhere in the world and rather than focusing on differences and focusing on color and race and all of that stuff

It gave me the ability to just connect with people as human beings because what I really learned was no matter how different we seem to be at the bottom line level, we are all the same, we are souls, we are consciousness evolving, you know, in this human space suit. At the end of the day, we are infinite. That's so beautiful. So I was looking more into your story and you having such a successful father who seemed to have Garnered a lot of respect and fame in your region He wanted you to follow in his footsteps and it was kind of expected right for you to follow in his footsteps So what was that like actually deciding not to because you ended up moving to America quite young?

What was that conversation like what was that decision-making like for you? Yeah, look, my father had hundreds of thousands of followers, just like, set the context. We're talking about 300,000 followers in Africa. He had a very huge church in London. So every Sunday we go to church and there were like 4,000, 5,000 people in the congregation every Sunday.

And so it was kind of a massive operation. And so I started speaking. I didn't choose, but my father threw me in front of the audience when I was age eight. And he said, my son's going to speak. And that began my speaking career at age eight, speaking in front of 3,000, 4,000 people. And so when I was 14, my father suddenly announced the congregation, suddenly without discussing with me or having a conversation. My son is taking over my ministry. My son is my successor and everyone goes crazy.

So here I imagine, here I am, a 14 year old kid, in complete shock because I loved my father. I wanted to make him happy. He's iconic. I just wanted his approval. And I always wanted, I felt this deep desire to make a difference in people's lives. I felt like my life was here to be of service to humanity and touch people in some way.

And so I wanted to make a difference. So when my father announced the congregation at 14, my son's taking over, I felt such an internal conflict because the moment he announced that I was on stage, everyone looks at me, everyone's clapping, everyone's going crazy, but inside of my soul, I knew that something wasn't right. You know, that feeling that you get when something is, something is not true, maybe being in a relationship where you're like, oh, shit, this is not the right relationship, where you're in a job, where you realize, this is not aligned with my soul, I'm out of integrity. And so I knew in that moment, this was not my path, this was not my destiny, but I went along with it from

14 to 18 because honestly, I was too afraid that if I dared to be myself, if I dared to speak my truth, if I dare to tell my father how I really felt, I wouldn't lose his love, I'd be outcast, I'd be alone, I wouldn't be a part of the tribe anymore, and so I said nothing. My fear was, if I dared to be who I was, I would lose love. And I think so many of us, we hold back who we are. We betray our truth. We don't tell the truth to ourselves. We stay in situations that are authentic

because we're afraid of being who we really are and not being loved. And so for four years, I went through a tremendous amount of soul searching, a tremendous amount of conflict, depression, sadness, turmoil, internal turmoil that I never talked to anyone. But when I was 18, I looked into my future, and that's when the moment really shifted for me, my life shifted. I looked into my future, and I realized that I could never be truly happy and fulfilled living someone else's life. I could never be truly happy and fulfilled being someone that I'm not, and I tried to be what my father wanted me to be, but there was something inside, if I was really honest, that was missing, that wasn't connected, that wasn't a line. I looked into my future and I projected age 20, age 30, age 40, age 50, age 60.

I realized I could be successful by everyone else's standards, but if I didn't have myself, if I didn't have my soul, if I didn't have my truth, then what kind of success is that if I don't have myself? How do I really be with myself? To me, that is living dead. And so I grieved, I cried, I realized that I had to let go of my father, which was at that stage for any of us as hard as an 18-year-old kid was terrifying. And I made that decision that I was going to have to lose my father and have the conversation. And so at 18, I told my mother, you know,

mother's, they're always for the most part, pretty supportive. And she said, I support my mother, said, I support you, whatever you feel is true. I'm always here. I have you back. And so I must have the courage one day to speak to my father. And this was the moment that my life changed. And I think there comes a moment in our lives where we have to own our lives for ourselves. We have to reclaim our lives. Sometimes that means letting your parents down in some way. But I realized that this was my life. This wasn't anyone else's life. And at some moment my father would die. My parents would die. Everyone around me would die. And I had to look myself in the mirror. And so I tipped out up the stairs, terrified and shaking, by the way.

And sometimes people think you have to get rid of fear in order to take action. I would terrified. And it took every ounce of courage for me to have this conversation. Because I felt too, that I wasn't just claiming my life. I felt like I was breaking my father's heart, which was just as hard, you know? And I looked my father in the eyes and I said, that I was trembling, that I'm not taking over your ministry

and I love you, but I'm not taking over. I thought he was gonna go crazy silent. So he said, are you sure? And I trembled again, I said, yeah, yeah, I'm not even nervous. He said, okay, we didn't speak for two years. That was incredibly painful. Sometimes people say that when you find your purpose and you find your mission, that, yeah, the universe opens,

everything is easy, everything is smooth. I think sometimes when you find your purpose and you align with your truth and you move in that direction and you follow your soul. That's actually when the challenges begin. That's when the soul tests begins and many times people think that, because I'm facing all of these challenges in my life, but I'm still following my purpose, but I'm facing these challenges, something's wrong. I made a wrong decision. I think many times it's the sign that you made the right decision is just that when you follow your purpose, many times you need to go through some of these challenges because these challenges

are the necessary force, the necessary, they help you build the necessary soul force, muscle resilience so that you can become the person that is capable of fulfilling the mission. So I had the conversation with my father, when he's been speaking for two years, felt so alone, so abandoned by the universe. I felt this dream, I felt this desire to come to America, to go into personal development. And yet, here I was stuck, no money, no college education, no support for my family.

And I said a prayer one day. And I said, universe, if everything I've read is real, all of these spiritual books are manifestation. If this stuff really works, I need your help right now. The next day, I was in the library at school, and I'm there sitting on the universe, I need some help. Someone gives me a magazine called Economist. I never read the Economist. I felt chills in my body. I look in the back of the magazine, it says the American government's giving away 55,000 green cards in the green card lottery. That's when I felt something, you know,

that feeling we sometimes feel when we feel like there's something strange happening. And so I applied through the law firm and along the story shorter, I ended up winning a green card in the green card lottery. And that's what really made me feel the sense that so long as I follow my truth, so long as I follow my soul, so long as I really don't compromise what is authentic inside of my being, not for fame, for friendship, for money, for anything. If I'm true to that, if I'm aligned with that,

then the universe supports me. And I've seen that throughout my life, and I want a green card at the age of 18, 19, came to the US to suit cases, and you know, wanting the country. And that began began my journey. It was hard. Let's hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors. Young and profitors, do you have a brilliant business idea, but you don't know how to move forward with it? Going into debt for a four-year degree isn't the only path to success. Instead, learn everything you need to know about running a business for free

by listening to the Millionaire University podcast. The Millionaire University podcast is a show that's changing the game for aspiring entrepreneurs. Hosted by Justin and Tara Williams, it's the ultimate resource for those who wanna run a successful business and graduate rich not broke Justin and Tara started from square one just like you and me. They faced lows and dug themselves out of huge debt Now they're financially free and they're sharing their hard-earned lessons with all of us

That's right millionaire university will teach you everything you need to know about starting and growing a successful business No degrees required in each episode you'll gain invaluable insights from seasoned entrepreneurs and mentors who truly understand what it takes to succeed. From topics like how to start a software business without creating your own software, to more broad discussions such as eight businesses you can start tomorrow to make 10k plus month, this podcast has it all. So don't wait, now's the time to turn your business idea into a reality by listening to the millionaire university podcast. New episodes drop Mondays and Thursdays. Find the millionaire university podcast on Apple Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

Your dog is an important part of your family. Don't settle when it comes to their health. Make the switch to fresh food made with real ingredients that are backed by science with nom nom. Nom nom delivers fresh dog food that is personalized to your dog's individual needs. Each portion is tailored to ensure your dog gets the nutrition they need so you can watch them thrive. Nom nom's ingredients are cooked individually and then mixed together because science tells us that every protein, carb and veggie has different cooking times and methods. This packs in all the vitamins and minerals your dog needs, so they truly get the most out of every single

bite. And nom nom is completely free of additives, fillers, and mystery ingredients that contribute to bloating and low energy. Your dog deserves only the best, and nom nom delivers just that. Their nutrient packed recipes are crafted by board-certified veterinary nutritionists, made fresh and shipped to your door. Absolutely free. Nom-nom meals started just $2.40, and every meal is cooked in company-owned kitchens right here in the US, and they've already delivered over 40 million meals, inspiring clean bowls and wagging tails everywhere. Ever since I started feeding my dog Nom Nom, he's been so much more energetic, and he's getting older.

He's a senior dog, but now we've been going on longer walks, and he's much more playful. He used to be pretty sluggish and sleeping all the time, but I've definitely noticed a major improvement since I started feeding him Nom Nom. And the best part, they offer a money back guarantee. If your dog's tail isn't wagging within 30 days, they'll refund your first order. No fillers, no nonsense, just Nam Nam.

Go right now for 50% off your No Risk 2 week trial at trinam.com-shap. That's trinam-n-o-m.com-shap for 50% off trinam.com-shap. This is such a really special, powerful story. I have just chills listening to you tell this story. So thank you so much for sharing. First of all, there's a couple big lessons here. People that love you may not actually know the best path for you. Only you know the best path for you. Only you know the best path for yourself. And sometimes it's just getting started, which is what brings on the challenges like you said. It's not like

you like announced that you're dead and then everything was just easy. You know, since you're dead and then that's when the obstacle started because you're going on your true path. And sometimes, you know, that takes a lot of hard work and doesn't just like fall naturally. So I think that's really interesting. So talk to us about, you know, you said you were in America. How did you know that personal development was where you wanted to focus? I know you did a lot of reading as a child. So how did you know that was like kind of where you wanted to get started?

Yeah, it really started from a very young age because I'd go into my father's bookshelf and he had all of these books and my father Even though we had these churches was very mystical. It was very spiritual less religious more spiritual And so I would see literally 3,000 books on his bookshelf of people like Deep Achopra, Maryam Williamson, Shacti Gawain, some old school mystics people at Joseph Murphy and one have you. And so I started reading a lot of these, Christ the Murty, you know, I started reading a lot of these spiritual books as a kid. So my first book as an eight-year-old was Shackdick Owen, creative visualization. That as an eight-year-old

blew my mind, the possibility that through imagination and thinking and thoughts and visualization, we have the power to affect our reality. And as an eight-year-old, I was in heaven. And so that began a process from eight to, I think, 18 of reading seven to 800 books on my father's bookshelf, and just trying to understand life and the nature of existence and the nature of consciousness and why we're here. And so when I was 14,

and this is also what affected my decision to leave the church when I was 14 I started reading people like Tony Robbins and damn Milman and Luis Hay and Jack Campbell and I'm like Wait a second. These people are Impacting lives in hotel rooms giving seminars not through religion and not through the church Like my mind was blown like maybe there's another way and so I started having visions as a young boy of coming to America. And all of the authors I'd read lived in Southern California.

They lived in San Diego, Orange County, Los Angeles, maybe San Francisco. And I'm like, this is where I want to go into this field. I want to write books. I want to impact people. I want to speak. I want to inspire people. And not in a religious way. And this is what I want to do. And I want to impact people, I want to speak, I want to inspire people, and not in a religious way, and this is what I want to do.

And so what I also started, so I started visualizing and envisioning myself every day in the US. What I also started doing that people don't know is I didn't have a lot of money going up, going up in the church. And so my bedroom was literally a tiny room with a small bed that I literally couldn't walk inside. And so my visions were so big of impacting people and inspiring people, but my reality was so small.

And so I would sneak into my, because we lived in an apartment that was attached to my father's church. And so I would sneak into my father's church around, 8pm at night every night. And I speak into my father's church with the lights off. And I would speak and give seminars, personal development seminars based on the information I read. I'd give seminars. As a, you know, 11-year-old kid to the empty chairs,

visualizing and imagining thousands of people in the room being inspired, crying and laughing. And so from probably 11 to 18, people don't know this, but I probably gave 2,000, 3,000 seminars before I even started speaking officially. And that started. And that's how I knew. And yeah, when I showed up in LA, two suitcases, I kid. I got dropped off in Venice Beach, cried my eyes out for about two weeks, being by myself. The reality isn't always as romantic as the fantasy,

found a small apartment that was maybe, I don't know, 250, 300 square feet, pulled a mattress, pulled a mattress out of the trash that someone threw out to sleep on, okay? Because I had no money, and I knew I couldn't go back, but I was, you know what, there's a freedom that comes from living your truth. There's a power and a freedom that comes from knowing

that you are on the right path of not compromising yourself or anything or anyone. And even though I had nothing, there was such an internal feeling of knowing I had myself, I wasn't betraying myself. And that fueled me forward. You know, that gave me a lot of strength to move forward. One thing I would just invite people to sit with, that I think might help people in the consideration also is, I think one of the things that stops us from really breaking through, one of the things that stops us from really changing our lives and creating what we want are all the lies that we tell ourselves.

I think in so many ways as human beings we are constantly lying to ourselves about who we are, about what we feel, about what we want in order to preserve our identity, keep ourselves comfortable, be loved, be liked and end up betraying ourselves. And so I think if someone's wondering, well, how do I start? How do I begin? What do I do? What's the first step I can take? I want to tell everyone, really just sit with yourself and ask yourself these three questions. Number one, what lies am I telling myself? What lies am I telling myself? In so many ways, we like about the relationship will rip, maybe you're in a relationship and you know, it's not right, but you stay,

because what will people think? Or you stay because you don't know hurts, I might even want to hurt my father. Maybe you're working a job that you know is not the reason, is not the purpose for why you're born, but you stay out of comfort, out of security, out of safety, and yet it's burning you up inside and you feel that there are so many more gifts that you long to give, out of security, out of safety, and yet it's burning you up inside and you feel

that there are so many more gifts that you long to give, and it hurts, it's painful to not give those gifts. And so, what lies am I telling myself? I think we have to start with the willingness to tell ourselves the truth. The second question for people to sit with is, what am I pretending to not know? In so many ways, I've seen that we play this game of confusion. I don't really know what my purpose is. I'm confused. I'm not sure. I don't know if this relationship is right for me. I'm not sure. But deep down, we really know.

We know deep down, but sometimes there's a fear of really acknowledging the clarity of our knowing, because with knowing and truth comes responsibility of having to do something about it. And so here's what I invite people to really sit with is, tell the truth, but take the pressure off of having to even take action. Sometimes the pressure of having to take action freaks us out. So we played this game of confusion. Because if I'm confused, then I don't have to end this relationship. If I'm confused, then I don't have to take action on my purpose, because I don't know what my purpose is.

So it's better to stay in confusion, then, take action and fail and risk the failure. But if I'm confused, then I can always have the hope of the future fantasy. So what am I pretending to not know? But also lastly, I would invite people to say, what is it costing? What are the lies costing and to be willing to feel

the pain of the lies? In so many ways, one of the ways we perpetuate our living less than our truth, living less than our full potential is we feel pain. Like, this is pain, something I'm feeling pain, but we distract ourselves from it. We busy ourselves, we drink it away, we sex it away, we social media it away, we sex it away,

we social media it away, we shop it away. Whatever it is, so we don't have to feel the pain, but what I want people to know is that if you're feeling pain in your life, the pain is a signal, the pain is a gift, the pain is a message, the pain is simply trying to communicate something to you, to get your attention, to show you where you're not fully alive. And if you can just use the pain, not ask something bad or to get your attention, to show you where you're not fully aligned. And if you can just use the pain,

not as something bad or to run away from, but use the pain to, as feedback, to recalibrate yourself, to bring yourself more in touch with your truth and your heart, then you can start making changes. This is really, really powerful. I get a lot of questions from listeners who always ask me,

how can I find my true calling? How do I know my purpose? How do I know what business to start or what I should do with my life? So what about people who don't know what their true calling is to your point and really feel like they don't have any guidance? What's your advice to them? I'm going to go a couple of ways. I'm going to kind of start a little big picture more spiritually because that's kind of my perspective, then I'm going to break it down into some real practical steps.

First thing I would say, and this is strange coming from someone that helps people find their purpose, right? This is what I do. I'm going to just tell people, stop trying to find your purpose. Stop trying to find your purpose. First, on a spiritual level, and we're going to demo break it down. The reason I stay at stop trying to find your purpose is First, on a spiritual level, and we're going to demo break it down. The reason I stay up, stop trying to find your purpose is I want you to realize that you are a soul having the human experience. So essentially, every moment of your life, every second of your life, every breath of your life,

every relationship, every single experience that you go through is your purpose. If you are a soul, you incarnate into the human experience to learn, grow, and evolve. I like to feel that life is a university for your purpose. If you are a soul, you incarnate into the human experience to learn, grow and evolve. I like to see that life is a university for your soul, and every experience, every relationship, every situation, is part of your soul's learning and curriculum. And so, if the purpose of life is your evolution and learning the lessons, then every moment, so long as you're learning the lessons and you're growing and evolving through every situation, every moment is your purpose. So there's no moment that's not your purpose.

So understand that spiritually. If you're growing and you're learning and evolving and asking yourself, why did I track the situation? Why did I track this? But what is my soul seeking to learn in this job, in this experience, even if it's not your dream job, then what you'd like to be doing for the rest of your life, what is my soul seeking to learn from my boss? What is my soul seeking to learn with my teammates? What is my soul seeking to learn and learn those lessons?

You're living your purpose no matter what you're doing. So your purpose isn't necessarily what you're doing. So just get that as a whole first. Now to get a bit more spiritual, a bit more personal, stop seeking your purpose again. The reason I say that again, a second time is sometimes the ego wants to seek, seek, seek, seek, seek, seek, seek, and not find. The job of the ego is to keep seeking because seeking is part of what perpetuates the ego's sense of identity. It doesn't want to find. And so, the whole game of seeking one's purpose can often be never ending. So here's

what I would tell people. Simply start where you are, exactly as you are, because we're always kind of postponing things into the future when I'm more healed, when I have enough money, when I have another certificate, when I'm, it's like, no, start. Simply start where you are and take a step, go in the direction of what lights you up. Go in the direction of what turns you on. Go in the direction of what brings you joy. Go in the direction of what lights you're soul. What like, like move in that direction,

that direction may not be your destination. But if you simply try to figure out your purpose from the sidelines and your current evolution, you may never find your purpose, because what I found is when you go in the direction and you take a step, you lean in and you take a step, you don't have to know where you're going. But if you lean in and you take a step,

that's one thing we have to, I think let go of is the idea of we got to figure it out up front, because purpose is also evolutionary, that as you evolve and grow, your purpose will shift and change. So if you try to figure out your purpose from standing on the sidelines and figure it out from here, you will often never figure it out. But if you take a step and you move forward, then what happens is life reveals to you often what's next in the process of living life itself.

You take a step, life shows you what's next, you take a step, life shows you what's next, but in the process of each step, you learn more, you become more, you evolve more, you expand more, you develop the mental, emotional, the spiritual muscle, the skill set that prepares you more for what's next. And so if you don't take those steps, you don't develop the skill sets, you don't develop the maturity, you don't develop the consciousness to be able to handle more, but take the step life shows you take the step life shows you in what I found this then you will often end up all of a sudden five years 10 years eight years six years three years from now living into your purpose going wow I'm actually living my purpose. What maybe it wasn't what I thought it was going to

be I thought I was going to be an actor I thought I was going to be a core practice I thought I was but here is. I thought I was going to be an actor. I thought I was going to be a core practice. I thought I was, but here is what I'm doing. And everything I did along the way that wasn't necessarily my dream job or expression, there were necessary learnings that I needed to get along the way. So that I could be around it being to be able to fulfill what I'm doing now. So number one, ask yourself, what do I love?

What lights me up? What lights me up? What inspires me? What do I love to do? What would I do for free and stop moving in that direction? But that alone is not enough because, look, I love formula one, but I'm never going to be Lewis Hamilton in this lifetime. That's just kind of reality. The dude has been doing it since he was two years old, you know. And so love is great moving that direction. But don't get attached to what it's going to look like. Don't get attached to, I have to be a race car driver because there's many things in that field of what you might love. What do I love? Number two, what skill sets do I have? What tangible skill sets do I have based on my life experience? This is why I say everything you've been through. Even jobs you've been through

that you didn't understand, there's probably something there that you needed to learn, that can help you in your ultimate expression. So if you don't do that, if you don't go there because you're, well, that's not my purpose, that you don't learn what you need to learn and you won't be ready for what you're really here to do. So look at the tangible skills because you need tangible skills. Number three, ask yourself, what unique gifts are my capable of solving? I think we all have unique abilities. And I think the ability, as you know, and I'm sure you teach, the ability to make money is not just about how do I make money, it's about adding value.

We add value when we solve someone's pain, problem or challenge. Money is simply the energetic exchange for solving someone's pain, problem or challenge. Money is simply the energetic exchange for solving someone's pain problem or challenge. And so I think when we really look at it, what pain problem or challenge am I able to solve? What pain problem or challenge lights me up? So what pain problem or challenge am I uniquely able to solve and go out and solve those pain problems or challenges by being of service really specifically adding tangible specific value. So look at that as a third question. And lastly, I invite people to look at and consider what group of people, if you look in the world, what group of people do I feel a connection to? Do I feel an affinity to? If you're like, well,

I don't know who to serve. Maybe you feel drawn to people that are blind. Maybe you feel drawn to single mothers. Maybe you feel drawn to the homeless or the elderly or a certain group or ethnicity or animals or whales, just begin serving that group of people. Begin making a difference in their life, just gravitate in that direction because that that resonance, that pull, that connection to that group of people, that affinity is also maybe pointing you in the direction of who you're here to serve. And so I just invite people, don't wait for a special moment or a special date, begin where you are right now exactly as you are and just start by responding to the need in the moment. A lot of people, they want to impact the world,

they want to impact millions of people, they want to do this huge thing. But right in front of them, someone is in need of help. And we don't give that help because we think it's not important to us. You know, we think it's not making much of a difference, we think it's not big enough. But if we don't stop there, if we don't stop with one, then how do we help two? We don't stop with two, how do we help four? We don't stop with four, how do we help ten? And I believe when you start with one, you're able to help two.

You're able to help four. You're able and it just expands and goes from there. That was the best answer to how do you find your purpose that we've ever had on this podcast by far. So great job with that. Let's talk about the genesis of your book. So your mother passed away in 2017 and you say that she surrendered in the most giving way. So how did her passing help influence you write this new book?

Yeah, you know, the book was was was not on my radar to write. This was not the book that I planned to write even once she passed away. You know, in 2016, I was traveling the world on a high because my first book you are the one was a bestseller and I was traveling, I was a married king. Then I get a phone call, life has a way of humbling, you know. And I get a phone call from my father, says your mother has cancer, we need to come and see her. And so I was living in Los Angeles

and I started to fly back and forth from LA to London every month, literally every four weeks to be with my mother for a week during her chemo sessions. And I fly back and forth from LA to London every month, literally every four weeks, to be with my mother for a week during her chemo sessions. And I fly back and forth and I just sit with her and be with her. And it was interesting because I went back with the intention that I was going to heal my mother. I was going to get her better. I was going to save her life.

I was going to feed her, you know, green juice and vegetables and alternative therapies and After a few weeks of being with her and sitting with the doctors, I honestly began to realize that She's gonna die I really started to realize that and it hit me. I realized there's nothing I do no amount of meditation and prayer that's going to keep her alive and I began a process of letting go. I began a process of breathing. I began a process of letting go of control, at least the control I thought I had, which I really didn't have. And that began when I stopped resisting the fact that

my mother was going to die. It began to free me up to be with her fully. It began to free me up to save every single moment that I had with her because I wasn't resisting. I realized every moment I had with my mother could actually be the last time I ever see her. Every text was maybe the last text. Every conversation was maybe the last conversation. It was real. I really just

surrendered and I said, this couldn't be it. And so that really got me in touch with the preciousness of each moment. And in a strange way, it was a gift because I got to spend eight hours with my mother in chemo sessions, so fully present. I realized I hadn't spent eight hours straight with my mother since I was a kid because I was too busy running around trying to help the world make a difference, but I didn't make time for my own mother and it was very humbling and I was saddened and I had I was filled with a lot of regrets because I asked myself why did I wait until she was dying to just sit with her and just be with her? Because we think, we got time. We think tomorrow. We think and I realize that we don't.

We really don't know when that moment's going to come. So I got to be with her. And that year that turned out to be the worst year of my life in the beginning. Because I just got to sit with her and sick with a cup of tea and talk about nothing and take a walk in the park and shoot the breeze and watch her washing the dishes and just holding her hand. They came the best year of my life.

And I remember there was a day when I looked at my mother and I said, I'm just gonna sound strange, but I think I've learned something. And I said to her, I never forget that moment. I said to my mother, like I really thank cancer, for bringing us to this level of closeness. I wish it didn't have to be this moment, but I really thank and and that was a moment of surrender for me. And weeks later, the doctors told her because she was supposed to have an operation and chemo, she was doing chemo.

The doctors told her that there's nothing else we can do. And in a nice way, they say you could basically you're going to die so get your face in order. And you know, nothing prepares you for that moment when the person you love the most is no longer. I mean, my mother loved me and in this human lifetime, I know what love is because of her. Like I have been loved because of human being. And I looked at my mother and I said to her, this was maybe the genesis of the book, you know.

This whole experience was, I think, prepping me, but I said to her, are you afraid? Are you afraid of dying? This is like right after the doctor said, you're going to die. I mean, this is, you know, a lot of times we read books and we're like, yes, I'm infinite and but when you're faced with death in reality, that's something else. And she said, she looks at me in the eyes, the Japanese little woman. She says, no, I'm not afraid because I know I'm not this body. I know that this body is just honestly a temporary vehicle for myself. And I'll be with you guiding you from the other side. So don't worry.

And, you know, no cameras around, no, no Instagram lock, just me and her complete trust in life. Then I said, mom, is there anything I can do for you? What can I do for you to make your like I wanted to be a good son? What can I do to make your final days comfortable? Do you want to go somewhere, can I buy you something? What do you need?

And she said, there's nothing I want. There's nothing I need. I said, what can I, what do you need? What do you want? And she said, there wasn't so much a religious statement, but but I really got what she said. She said, the only thing I want is what God wants for my life. And in that moment, I was so humbled because I realized that she was in complete surrender. She wasn't attached to being alive.

She wasn't attached to die. She was just open to her soul journey, whatever that was. And that's why during this year I saw that she was so free. She didn't feel like a victim, she didn't cry, and she was very emotional woman, she didn't feel resistant. She was really a piece and happy, and I saw that surrender was the key to her freedom. And so that year left me so many gifts in her example of how she lived life through surrender even in the most difficult moments because she wasn't resisting life. And then when I started to think about the book I was going to write, I thought I was going

to write some other fancy sexy, you know, book that would be a great New York Times baccala that everybody would want. And I remember having like a hundred ideas on a poster board of books I thought would sell, not and I was trying to force a book to be something that I thought it should be because I thought this would be a bestseller. None of those felt true. None of those felt right. And all of a sudden the one word of hundreds that I wrote on this whiteboard was surrender.

I don't want to write a book about surrender. I mean, it's like going to the dentist. Who wants to know what he wants to let go, but we know we should, but we don't want to. And I felt this undeniable knowing that, there might be what I want to write, but there's the book that's seeking to be written. And the book that's seeking to be written

is the book about surrender. And so I had to surrender to the book about surrender that was seeking to be written. And the book that's seeking to be written is the book about surrender. And so I had to surrender to the book about surrender that was seeking to be written. And that's when everything flowed, the ideas flowed, the agent flowed, the published, everything started flowing. And I felt like my entire life had really, when I looked at my life with my dad and my mom and my childhood, my whole life had prepared me to write this book about surrender in a certain way and everything just went bone. And the download happened and I started reflecting on the great ones that I respected. Because sometimes we think that surrender is weak. If you surrender, it's weak, it's passive, it's going to be a victim, a dormant left

behind, you won't manifest your goals, your desires in a world where you just have to kind of like make shit happen and crush it and push it. And when I really reflect on the great ones, I realize surrender is not weak. Like what if through surrendering, you didn't get less, you got more, more than you could imagine that surrender was perhaps the most powerful thing you can do. And when I looked at Jesus and Buddha and Bruce Lee and Muhammad Ali and Mandela and Martin Luther King, I'm like, damn, they all surrendered. They all surrendered themselves to a vision that was bigger than themselves. They all surrendered themselves to life. They all surrendered themselves to their soul. And that's when they transcended their own human ego,

limitations and life began to move through them and use them and look what happened. They moved to fucking wall, even the fact that they're dead. They've still impacted the wall. And that's when I realized that surrender is the key to greatness. surrender is the past word to freedom. And so that's for me part of the invitation that I want to give people is a new way of living because I think in the old paradigm, we've been conditioned to ask ourselves that the ego-based paradigm is all about making life happen and what do I want, right? What do I want? The thing is, yeah, sometimes you might, you can make life happen on your own terms,

which is okay, it's great, it's respectable. But many times you get what you thought you wanted only to be dissatisfied, like is this it? Or you get what you thought you wanted based on who you thought you were only to realize that what you thought you wanted. It was not what you really wanted. It was just what you thought you wanted

based on who you thought you were and many times your goals. And the goals that we said can be a projection of unmet needs from childhood, like if I could just get this car and this body and this thing and this current, then I'm going to be enough because I wasn't when I was five years old.

And so I think for me, the question when it comes to surrender is a new paradigm that I'd love people to consider. Surrender is powerful, surrender is possibility, surrender is the next level, surrender is greatness, surrender not as a passive thing, as an active process, surrender in the question is really about not asking yourself the question, what do I want, but asking yourself a different question, what is it that life is seeking to express through me?

What is the deepest impulse of what life, this intelligence, that is already living and breathing, we're all being lived and breathed by some intelligence that's bigger than ourselves. It is part of what we are. What is that life is seeking to express through me and to have the willingness to align ourselves with that deeper impulse, with that deeper truth. Because I think when we do, that's when magic happens. And so just to be clear, surrender, let me go of control.

Surrender not trying to force life to feed into your limited idea. Surrender is living with an open heart. We'll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors. Hear that sound, young and profitors. You should know that sound by now, but in case you don't, that's the sound of another sale on Shopify.

Shopify is the commerce platform that's revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide. Whether you sell edgy t-shirts or offer an educational course like me, Shopify simplifies selling online and in person so you can focus on successfully growing your business. Shopify is packed with industry leading tools that are ready to ignite your growth, giving you complete control over your business and brand without having to learn any new skills in design or code, and Shopify grows with you no matter how big your business gets. Thanks to an endless list of integrations and third party apps, anything you can think of from on-demand printing

to accounting to chatbots, Shopify has everything you need to revolutionize your business. If you're a regular listener, you probably know that I use Shopify to sell my LinkedIn secrets masterclass. Setting up my Shopify store just took me a few days. I didn't have to worry about my website and how I was going to collect payments and how I was going to trigger abandoned cart emails and all these things that Shopify does for me was just a click of a button even setting up my chat bot was just a click of a button. It was so easy to do. Like I said, just took a couple of days. And so it just allowed me to focus on my actual product and making sure my LinkedIn

masterclass was the best it could be. And I was able to focus on my marketing. So Shopify really, really helped me make sure that my masterclass was going to be a success right off the bat. It enabled focus and focus is everything when it comes to entrepreneurship. With Shopify single dashboard, I can manage my orders and my payments from anywhere in the world. And like I said, it's one of my favorite things to do every day is check my Shopify dashboard. It is a rush of dopamine to see all those blinking lights around the world showing me where everybody is logging on on the site. I love it.

I highly recommend it. Shopify is a platform that I use every single day and it can take your business to the next level. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com-profiting. Again, go to Shopify.com Sush Profiting all lowercase to take your business to the next level today. Again, that Shopify.com Sush Profiting, Shopify.com Sush Profiting all lowercase. This is possibility powered by Shopify. Yeah,

bam, if you're ready to take your business to new heights, break through to the six or seven figure mark or learn from the world's most successful people, look no further because the Kelly Roach show has got you covered. Kelly Roach is a best-selling author, a top-ranked podcast host, and an extremely talented marketer. She's the owner of NotOne, but 6th thriving companies, and now she's ready to share her knowledge and experience with you on the Kelly Roach show. Kelly is an inspirational entrepreneur, and I highly respect her. She's been a guest on

YAPP. She was a former social client. She's a podcast client. And I remember when she came on Young & Profiting and she talked about her conviction marketing framework. It was like mind blowing to me. I remember immediately implementing what she taught me in the interview in my company and the marketing efforts that we were doing. And as a marketer, I really, really respect all Kelly has done. All Kelly has built. In the corporate world, Kelly secured seven promotions in just eight years, but she didn't just stop there. She was working in nine to five. And at the same time, she built her eight figure company as a side hustle and eventually took

it and made it her full-time hustle. And her strategic business goals led her to win the prestigious Inc. 500 award for the fastest growing business in the United States. She's built an empire, she's earned a life-changing wealth. And on top of all that, she maintains a happy marriage and a healthy home life. On the Kelly Road show, you'll learn that it's possible to have it all. Tune into the Kelly Road show as she unveils her secrets for growing your business. It doesn't matter if you're just starting out in your career or if you're already seasoned

entrepreneur. In each episode, Kelly shares the truth about what it takes to create rapid, exponential growth. Unlock your potential, unleash your success, and start living your dream life today. Tune into the Kelly Road Show available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, ya fam! As you may know, I've been a full-time entrepreneur for three years now.

Yet media blew up so fast, it was really hard to keep everything under control, but things have settled a bit, and I'm really focused on revamping and improving our company culture. I have 16 employees, so it's a lot of people to try to rally and motivate, and I recently had bestselling author Kim Scott on the show. And after previewing her content in our conversation, I just knew I had to take her class on master class, tackle the hard conversations with radical candor to really absorb all she has to offer. And now I'm using her radical candor method every day with my team to give in solicit feedback, to cultivate a more inclusive culture, and to empower them with my honesty.

And I can see my team feeling more motivated and energized already. They are really receptive to this framework, and I'm so happy because I really needed this class. With masterclass, you can learn from the best to become your best anytime, anywhere, and at your own pace. And we all know that profiting in life doesn't just mean thriving in business. With masterclass, you can brush up on your art skills or your cooking skills or even your modeling skills. With over 180 classes from a range of world class instructors, that thing you've always wanted to do better is just a few clicks away. On Masterclass you'll find courses from many appa-alster guests like Chris Voss and Daniel Pink.

I've been taking their sales and negotiation classes and I've been feeling like a real shark lily. I've totally leveled up my sales skills. How much would it cost you to take a one-on-one class from the world's best? A lot. But with Masterclass annual memberships, it just cost you $10 a month. I have to say the most surprising thing about Masterclass since I started this incredible journey on the platform is the value. For the quality of classes, instructors,

the platform itself is beautiful, the videos are super high quality, you can't beat it. Gain new skills and as little as 10 minutes on your phone, your computer, tablet, smart TV, and my personal favorite way to learn is their audio mode to listen on the go. That way, I can multitask while I learn. Get unlimited access to every class. And right now, as the app listener, you can get 15% off when you go to masterclass.com slash profiting. That's masterclass.com slash profiting for 15% off an annual to masterclass.com slash profiting. That's masterclass.com slash profiting for 15% off an annual membership.

Masterclass.com slash profiting. So I have a couple of questions about surrender to make sure my audience can totally understand what this is. So when we think of surrender, we often think of letting go. And sometimes I can be weak. That can be seem passive. It can feel like we're just letting life happen instead of making it happen.

Like you said, which is part of our heroic individualism as Americans to want to just make things happen, right? So tell us why surrendering is actually not weak and why it's actually the most powerful thing that we can do. First, I just want to say, surrender is a natural process for us as human beings. I just want to say surrender is the process of life. Every surrender is actually hard wired into our physiology. You we breathe in and we have to breathe out. No one just breathes it. So surrender with every breath is a surrender.

To me, this is life reminding us of the process of surrender. And so, I think surrender takes a lot of courage because it requires the willingness to let go of what's not aligned. It requires the willingness to let go of what's not authentic. It requires the willingness to let go of what's not authentic. It requires the willingness to let go of what's not true. And that is not weak. It requires the willingness to let go of the lives we're telling ourselves. And so I think the next level of our lives, as human beings, that comes a moment in our life that we all reach, where the life that we're living is too small for what we're seeking to become.

Most of us in that moment, what we tend to do, is we hold on to what we know, out of fear, out of comfort, out of safety, out of familiarity, because why? Because it works. Why do you keep doing that? Because it's working. Why are you staying in a relationship? Because it works, but I'm unhappy. Why do you keep doing that? Because it's working. Why are you staying in a relationship? Because it works, but I'm unhappy.

Why do you keep doing that business? Because it works, but I'm not feeling alive. And so sometimes, we even get caught up in the trap of success. We keep doing something because we've done it. And everyone knows us to be back. We get reinforcements. And it's safe, but we're freaking miserable.

And we're no longer growing. We're not evolving. We're not alive anymore. We're not even living our purpose anymore. Anywhere, we're just phoning it in. We're no longer growing, we're not evolving, we're not alive anymore, we're not even living our purpose anymore, anymore, we're just phoning it in, we're just existing. And so I think the courage it takes to say, you know what? This is not aligned, this is not true, this is not who I am today. And the courage it takes to say, you know what, I'm going to let go.

So the next level of your life requires the next level of you and the next level of you requires that you let go of what's not aligned. And I think when you let go of what's not aligned, instead of holding on, that's when you begin to make the space for the new. That's when you begin to make the space for new relationship, new possibilities, new opportunities, and new blessings. You know, and so I think if we want magic, we have to be willing, truly willing to surrender. But part of surrender requires, I'll say it, grieving, because surrender is a death, it's a death of the old. And so it takes courage. And I think one thing that people often miss in the letting go, in the surrender is the willingness to gr. It's the willingness to agree.

And that is a necessary key in the process of surrender. And I just think of anything that you would surrender to, like a relationship that's not working, like that's going to be tough. It's not going to be easy, a job that you make a lot of money with that everybody knows you for letting that go is not going to be easy.

So something that you alluded to that I really wanna dig deeper on is this concept of surrender allowing us to imagine bigger and dream bigger. How is that so? Yeah, okay, so I think, look, many times when we set a goal, we're like, okay, I wanna make this happen, right?

This is what I want. The challenge is many times we're setting goals from the level of the mind, from the level of identity, from the level of ego, from the level of personality. The challenge is this sense of who we are or who we think we are is based on the conditioning we think we are, is based on the conditioning from the past, the conditioning from childhood, the conditioning from parents, the conditioning from grandparents, the conditioning from what you would tell, that what I was told from our ancestors,

from media, from Sesame Street, from television, from friends, from family, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And so when we set goals from the limitate, from the mind, it can often be limiting. This is what we want. This is what it's got to be. This is the person that I need to marry. How many times, and this is just for folks listening,

how many times have you thought you looked in a relationship, and I really, this is the one. I really want this person, like I'm gonna marry this person, we're gonna make it happen, and we kind of force something to be that really quite isn't and you couldn't imagine not being with that person. But maybe five years later, you broke up, you were sad, but five years later,

you look bad. You're like, thank God, that didn't work out. So many times in a particular moment from our lens of our own ego's identity, we're not able to see the whole picture. The ego is only able to see a small piece of the infinite tapestry and the possibilities and the potentiality of the unfolding of life. And so when you surrender, rather than getting attached, rather than trying to force, there is an openness, there is an availability, there is a willingness to be open to all of life rather than focusing and fixating on one small point like it's got to be this or open to all of life. They say, yes, okay, you can still set goals. What do I really feel is authentic? Not what my parents

want, not what songs. This is what's true. And moving that direction. So I'm not saying don't take action. I'm not saying don't set goals for your truth and set a goal and go in that direction, give 100% but don't get attached to the outcome because sometimes what you think he wants, not simply what is fully aligned or what is for your highest good. So you go in that direction without attachment and remain open. And that's the key. When you're open, then there's the space, then you hold the space for life to show up. You hold the space for magic to show up. Look at someone like Mandela.

I don't think Mandela could have imagined that I'm gonna go down this path and I'm gonna spend 26 years, 27 years in prison. And that's gonna be part of my journey to being one of the greatest most influential figures on the planet. You can't plan that kind of magical impact. You can't plan, that's not planable.

So I think some of the best things that happen, some of the best things that we manifest in our lives, are things that we didn't even really plan. They just, they happen in the process of following the path of our life. So the other concept I want to really uncover and unpack deeper is suffering, right? So let's talk about what suffering is and how we avoid suffering in this life. Look, I think in life, we all are going to have an experience of pain. We all have had an experience of suffering. But I would just say simply put that there is a difference between suffering and pain. Pain is just when someone dies, it's painful.

When my mother died, it was painful. When my mother died, there was painful. When my mother died, there was grief. When my mother died, there were tears. Pain is just a natural part of being human. It's unavoidable. I feel pain, you feel pain. Maybe the diolama feels pain. If you fall, now pain is just the part of the human process. Suffering is really what happens when you're either in resistance to what's happening, or you have a narrative that the experience that I'm experiencing is not the experience that I should be experiencing.

So in a certain sense, in any amount of suffering, when you're suffering, intently, you're feeling pain with an additional emotionality, with an additional judgment that the experience I'm having is not the experience I should be having, I should be having some other experience than the experience I'm having, that trigger suffering. And so I think what we have to be aware of is the narrative and the story and the meanings that we're making up about the experience that we're going through because that's what creates suffering, rather than just experiencing what we experience and experiencing the pain about the experience that we're going through. So you have two formulas

in your book that I think summarized as well. Surrender plus trust equals magic and control plus resistance equals suffering. So I think you summarize that really well. Let's talk about the difference between the ego and the soul. Can you compare and contrast that? Yeah, look, ego is not some huge thing. Ego, we all have an ego's human beings. I think as a human being, we all need an ego, just a function.

Ego is just a vehicle with which we function through. And so ego is simply, it's not a thing. And I don't think it's really an issue. Ego is more, is the process of memories, feelings, emotions, traumas, big conditioning based on the past, that we tend to hold on to and identify as ourselves. And the more we identify with the thoughts,

the beliefs, the stories, the emotions, as me, the more let's say attached we are to our ego. And so what we have to realize is all those things, feelings, emotions, thoughts, none of those are really who or what we are. That's not what we are. But because we get attached to it and we live that way and we go through life,

attached to that identity, we think that's who we are. And so the job of the ego is to reinforce his existence. The job of the ego is to be in control. And so I would just say, realize that you are not the thoughts, you are not those emotions, you are not the past, you are not those emotions, you are not the past, you are not those stories, what you are, is an infinite being, what you are, is soul. And soul is consciousness, soul is infinite.

Soul is beyond birth, soul is beyond death. And we are also, I'm soul, you are soul. And I think when we really realize what we are, as soul, we tap into another level of power, another level of possibility, another level of grace. And I think that's the magic. When you realize how true identity, you know, as soul. And then how do you know if you're making decisions based on your ego or your soul?

Are there like tell-tale signs? Usually, there is a resonance and a feeling. There's a resonance and a feeling that many times when something is aligned, you will often feel a different feeling in your body. Like, it's coming from a different place. You will often feel a different sensation in your body because when you're deciding from you ego, you will often be in your mind trying to understand, trying to spin, trying to analyze, trying to figure things out, round and round and round and round and you won't

feel any sense of peace. But when you're coming from your soul, it doesn't mean the decision won't be painful or challenging, but there will often be a deeper sense of knowing, a deeper, a different texture or quality of feeling of this feels right. There will be a sense many times of this is the direction or the energy what life is moving. And if you allow yourself to just kind of slow down and be still, and actually feel where is life moving? Where is life guiding me? You will often feel there's a certain subtle flow

or movement to life. That's like, feels like the flow is going over here. Just feel, maybe you might want to go left, but it just feels that there's a kind of flow. I think what we have to learn to do is to not impose our projection on what we think should be happening, but learn to step back and feel the flow of life. Align our decisions with that deeper flow. It won't always make sense to your mind in the moment when you're making that decision.

And many times those decisions from soul won't come from a logical understanding, they'll come from a deeper part of you. Like, it doesn't make sense, but this feels right. Go with that. One of the ways we stop ourselves from tapping into that deeper intuition and decision making is what constantly second guessing and questioning. Instead, trust that deeper flow, trust that deeper sensation, allow life to lead you. And I think that's part of surrender. Is the willingness to allow life to show you, allow life

to lead you. So it's the willingness to give up the need to know and understand what everything means. The willingness to know and understand what does mean, what does mean, what does mean, what will keep you in ego and limitation, trying to figure life out. And I think life is beyond, many times, beyond our understanding, beyond our figuring out, you know,'s beyond the math equation. And so if you're willing to say, OK, I'm willing to embrace the unknown,

the degree of freedom I found, the degree of freedom you experienced in life is in direct proportion with your willingness to embrace the unknown. And when you can let go of the need to know, the need to know where you're going, the need to know what's going to happen here. There's a freedom that opens up when life starts to show you. Life starts to show you because you're not pushing life or a relationship or something

to be something that you want it to be. You're allowing the organic truth of a situation to show you what's real, to show you what's at line. With that, when you're living in flow, flow is not that everything always goes in your direction or goes how you think it should be. And so I think the willingness to say, okay, I don't know and I don't need to know. And trust that, trust that there is something inside of you

that even when you don't know, there's an intelligence inside of you that knows. And that we're all being guided by. And sometimes some of the decisions you end up making in a particular moment that don't make sense. If you make a decision because it's true, because you're like, you know what, I don't want to do this, but this feels right. Well often, only makes sense down the road a year, two, three years from now,

when the entire picture falls into place. And then you say, now I understand. And that's, I think, part of the beauty of life. Because many times, even when we think we know where we're going, like, how many times folks listening, how many times perhaps have things not gone according to plan, but they've worked out better than you could imagine. Better, like you didn't go according to plan, you thought the whole world was coming to an end, but it went better than you could imagine.

And if we look back and I think what's interesting now as a humanity, I think we're in a very pivotal moment as a humanity, I think we're in a very pivotal moment as a humanity I think we are being shall we say initiated into as a humanity living surrender I think we're all in a global seminar of surrender right now We're in a surrender training because 2020 hit we all had these amazing plans 2020. Yeah, we're gonna and boom like Maybe we weren't in as much control as we thought. And I think that's part of the evolutionary process of perhaps what life has been teaching us this last couple of years, you know, maybe a lot is in control.

And there's a deep intelligence. And what happens when you surrender to the deep intelligence of life and allow life to show you, allow life to guide you. And I think that's, we're moving into a new way of living. That's much more in harmony and in slow with life. Like, you know, you look at Bruce Lee. Everyone wants to be like Bruce Lee. He's a cool dude.

But this is a guy that lived surrender. But most people want to be like Bruce Lee, but they don't want to surrender. And just as an example, Bruce Lee was the guy that said, there's an interview where he talks about, if you want to really be powerful, you have to flow. Be like water. You put water into a teacup. It becomes a teacup. They put water into a pot. It becomes the pot. Be like water. And so to me, that is what flow is. Being like water. Being like water. But what I will say, just to clarify, it is,

you can make, it doesn't mean don't make a plan, right? It doesn't mean don't set goals. It doesn't mean don't strategize. But what I'm first saying is first connect with who you are. Connect with your truth. Connect with what's real. Connect with your soul. Take that time to listen. To align with what's real, connect with your soul, take that time to listen

to align with what's true, not just what you think you should be doing based on your ego and your mind and your parents and your condition, connect with what's true so that you're absolutely not compromising yourself when you connect with what's true, what is life seeking to express through me, then you can make a plan and a strategy that is aligned with what your true authentic soul and guidance is saying, then the plan supports the fulfillment of your truth. Then you're in flow, then you're working in harmony with nature rather than in ego. Totally makes sense. So as we wrap up this interview, I asked some of the same questions at the end of the interview to all my guests, and we do some fun things at the end of the year with this. So

what is one actionable thing our listeners can do today to become more profitable tomorrow? I would just say really focus on this question. How can I be of service? How can I be of service? on this question, how can I be of service? How can I be of service? And we shout the people and ask, how can I serve you? What specific ways can I serve you? If you have clients, how can I serve you? Friends and family community, how can I serve? And don't wait for someone to give you that opportunity,

just begin finding places that you can be of service and start, I would just say start. I love that advice. And what is your secret to profiting in life? I'm compromisingly following my inner guidance by doing that. I've made a lot of money by doing

that I have been guided to buy real estate and land in strange places and you know, profited hugely when people thought I was crazy and I mean, I could give you stories and stories, but the willingness to, I will uncompromisingly follow my soul's guidance and be true to that. Whenever I've done that, that's when magic happens. And where can our listeners go to learn about you and everything that you do?

My website, coup blacksand.com. You can find out everything there. My book is there, the Doña Special Event, called Reinvent. You can find out about there, about that on the website as well. And Amazon is where magic of swim is available. And Instagram, Facebook, say hi. Awesome. So I'm going to stick all those links in the show notes.

Thank you so much. This was such a great interview. I enjoyed it so much. Thank you so much for everything. What an incredible conversation. I mean, Koot was on a roll. I barely got a word in. He was dropping so many gems.

And I just let him talk because he's so inspirational. And I don't know about you, but just hearing him talk about living authentically and finding purpose made me truly feel like we can all find our true paths and live fulfilling lives. But it takes a lot of courage to make a change or pursue an authentic life. It's not always that easy. So here are a couple major takeaways from my conversation. First, if you're searching for your purpose in life, there are three main questions to get you started. Number one, what do you truly love? Number two, what are your skills? Number three, what problem or challenge are you uniquely positioned to solve? When I was starting GYP, I asked myself these questions over and over unknowingly,

and I loved learning, I loved talking to new people, I had experience and success in radio, in social media, in writing, and I saw a need, a real need to help young people succeed and thrive in their careers. I had started making money, and I wanted to teach other people how they could make money too. And I imagined what my life would look like if I could combine my skills with my passion. And then I started a young and profiting podcast, which has turned into a social media company, a podcast production company, and now a podcast network, then I'm super proud of.

And yes, it hasn't always been that easy. I definitely sacrificed along the way. It's been a bumpy ride, but it's been an incredible experience overall. And I have no regrets because I feel like I'm leading my most authentic life. And it's something that I wish for all of my app listeners, because I feel so much more fulfillment every day, now that my skills and my passion and my career are all in alignment with each other. So check in with yourself and see if there's a topic

or an activity that lights you up the same way that podcasting lights me up. And don't be afraid to try something new, to try different things, to experiment, and take the time to see where life can take you. Another thing that we talked about in this conversation was surrender. And why surrendering is one of the most powerful things we can do. Cooot says, if we want magic, we must surrender. But we've typically been taught that surrender means to lose the battle.

We associate surrendering with weakness or giving in, not success in power, but could reframe surrender as strengths. He says when we let go, we make space for new opportunities. And he says that surrender is the invitation to take limits off life itself, so magic can happen. Because there's lots of things in life that you simply can't plan. And when you meet these situations with an open mind

and surrender to the possibility, there's no telling what doors will open. Surrender is not just passive. Surrender is when you stop trying to force life to be a certain way. It's when you stop negotiating with life and negotiating with your destiny. Surrender is the willingness to not know and to give up the need to know and to follow the energy and the flow. A great analogy that Kud says is that rather than going to the ocean and

trying to make waves happen, you just feel for the waves instead. And remember, suffering stems from your desire to control how things are going. Again, instead of trying to make waves happen and control it, you're feeling for the waves. Suffering is something that you have total control over because all it is is your desire to control how your life is going. So remember, Kutzet's mother had secret formulas for her freedom. And I think these are really powerful to always remember. Surrender plus trust equals magic, control plus resistance equals suffering. That's something that I think you guys can take with you for the rest of your life.

And to start the journey of surrender, we must become aware of the stories we're telling ourselves about who we are, who we should be, what our lives should look like. Don't get attached to the labels about yourself. Be willing to surrender the labels that have limited you, even if they were once positive. You are not your labels. I mean, the best example that I have of this is when I worked in corporate, my family, my boyfriend, slash, pretty much husband at the time, couldn't fathom that I could ever dream

of quitting my executive job at Disney and how dare I, and I was selfish, and that was who I was, and I had spent all these years building this career, and that's you, Holly, you're a corporate girl. How dare you take that label off yourself and become an entrepreneur. But I didn't listen. I took that label off of myself, even though to a lot of people, that's a great label.

I took that off of myself and I put a new label on myself that I wanted to be. An entrepreneur, a self-made woman, a podcast superstar, a CEO, you name it, all these other things, the speaker and author, like all these other things that I wanted to be. And you too, you too can be the best and the biggest version of yourself, the version that you want to be, and not what other people want you to be. And as we all know, finding your purpose takes hard work. It's going to take time. It's going to take experimentation. But don't give up when it gets tough.

Instead, surrender, follow your instincts, let go of your attachments, your need to please others, and trust your yes. We're constantly leveling up in our priorities and purpose are going to grow with us as time goes on. So I really hope that you revisit these lessons from this episode for the rest of your life.

And the world is a better place when we're all at our best. So keep pursuing your purpose and becoming who you're meant to be. And as always, thank you so much for listening to Young and Profiting Podcast and thanks to my amazing YAP team. And if you enjoyed this episode, be sure to share it with a friend and take a few moments to drop us a FidesStar review on your favorite podcast platform.

These reviews mean a lot to us, so do take the time to drop one. And I'll catch you next time. This is Hala, signing off. Are you looking for ways to be happier, healthier, more productive and more creative? I'm Gretchen Rubin, the number one best-selling author of the Happiness Project.

And every week, we share ideas and practical solutions on the Happier with Gretchen Ruben podcast. My co-host and Happiness Guinea Pig is my sister Elizabeth Kraft. That's me, Elizabeth Kraft, a TV writer and producer in Hollywood. Join us as we explore fresh insights from cutting-edge science and to wisdom, pop culture,

and our own experiences about cultivating happiness and good habits. Every week we offer a try this at home tip you can use to boost your happiness without spending a lot of time energy or money. Suggestions such as follow the one-minute rule. Choose a one-word theme for the year or design your summer. We also feature segments like know yourself better where we discuss questions like are you an over buyer or an under buyer? Morning person or night person abundance lever or simplicity lever and every episode includes a happiness hack a quick easy shortcut to more happy. Listen and

follow the podcast happier with Gretchen Rubin. Mornings are coming on strong with dark and bold from Community Coffee. I feel like Bustaloo's come on! Get on up! Get on up! Get on up! Bustaloo's when you wanna say, Bustaloo baby do your thing! Talk about Bustaloo's! Darken Bold from Community Coffee, look for it at your local grocery or community coffee Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,