Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - Lisa Bilyeu: How to Cultivate Radical Confidence, Live Authentically, and Become the Hero of Your Own Life | Entrepreneurship | E213

Episode Date: March 13, 2023

When Lisa Bilyeu was a little girl, she had dreams of making it big in the film industry. After marrying the love of her life, she found herself in a rut as a stay-at-home housewife. Lisa reassessed h...er life and started living with radical confidence so that she could become the Co-founder and President of Impact Theory. In this episode, Lisa discusses how she gained the confidence to make a complete 180 in her life by going from housewife to co-founder. She will also give the inside scoop on what it’s like to build radical confidence and a billion-dollar company from the ground up!  Lisa Bilyeu is the co-founder of the billion-dollar company Quest Nutrition and the co-founder and President of Impact Theory. She is the host of Women of Impact, a show featuring women who have overcome incredible hardship to achieve massive success. Her mission is to empower all women to become the heroes of their own lives. In her book Radical Confidence, Lisa teaches readers how to dream big, boost their confidence, and “toughen the F up.”  In this episode, Hala and Lisa will discuss:  - How Lisa went from housewife to co-founder of Quest Nutrition - Escaping “the purgatory of the mundane” - When gratitude can become toxic - How Lisa learned to lead a team through rap music - Loyalty vs. blind loyalty - Becoming the hero of your own life - Lisa’s biggest relationship advice - Validation is for parking - Practicing “emotional sobriety” - And other topics… Lisa Bilyeu began her professional career in film, moved briefly into administration, and then, as a founding team member at Quest Nutrition, she took on logistics - building the company’s fulfillment department from scratch and helping facilitate the company’s rise to #2 on the Inc. 500 list of the fastest-growing private companies. She then returned to media helping build the company’s revolutionary in-house media team. As co-founder of Impact Theory, she’s looking to combine her highly developed skills as a creative producer with her drive to help people build things that matter. She is the host of Women of Impact, a show featuring women who have overcome incredible hardship to achieve massive success.  Resources Mentioned: Lisa’s Website: https://www.radicalconfidence.com/ Lisa’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisabilyeu/ Lisa’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisabilyeu Lisa’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/ Lisa’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisabilyeu/ Lisa’s Podcast Women of Impact: ​​https://impacttheory.com/women-of-impact/ Lisa’s Book Radical Confidence: 10 No-BS Lessons on Becoming the Hero of Your Own Life: https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Confidence-No-BS-Lessons-Becoming/dp/1982181419 LinkedIn Secrets Masterclass, Have Job Security For Life: Use code ‘podcast’ for 30% off at yapmedia.io/course. Sponsored By:  LMNT - Get a free LMNT Sample Pack with any order only when you order through DrinkLMNT.com/YAP More About Young and Profiting Download Transcripts - youngandprofiting.com   Get Sponsorship Deals - youngandprofiting.com/sponsorships Leave a Review - ratethispodcast.com/yap Watch Videos - youtube.com/c/YoungandProfiting Follow Hala Taha LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Instagram - instagram.com/yapwithhala/ TikTok - tiktok.com/@yapwithhala Twitter - twitter.com/yapwithhala Learn more about YAP Media Agency Services - yapmedia.io/

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Starting point is 00:00:14 How many of us say, I blinked? And then I look around and I'm like, how did I end up here? That's how it felt that I blinked. I had these dreams. I was this young girl that went to film school. I would wake up at 3 in the morning to watch the Academy Awards. And then I blink and I'm a stay-at-home wife for eight years and I'm not happy. It feels like a blink.
Starting point is 00:00:34 But that's utter BS. It's never just a blink. The most successful entrepreneurs are people that actually know when it's time to stop, when it's time to quit, when it's time to let go. not just when it's time to push harder, but you cannot quit on a bad day. Quit anytime you like. You're just not allowed to quit on days where things are going wrong. Do I actually want this?
Starting point is 00:00:56 Or do I just want to quit because it's hard? What is up Young and Profiters? You're listening to Yap Young and Profiting podcast where we interview the brightest minds in the world and unpack their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. I'm your host, Halitaha. Thanks for tuning in and get ready to listen, learn, and profit.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Lisa, welcome to Young Improfiting Podcast. Thanks so much for having me, honey. Great to see you. I am very excited for this conversation. So Young Improfiters, if you don't know Lisa Bill You, she's the co-founder of the billion-dollar company Quest Nutrition. She's also the co-founder and president of Impact Theory. She's the host of Women Impact,
Starting point is 00:01:55 a show featuring women who have overcame hardship to achieve massive success. And in her book, Radical Confidence, she teaches readers how to dream big, boost their confidence, and toughen the F up. And this episode will cover how Lisa gained the confidence to make a complete 360 in her life
Starting point is 00:02:11 going from housewife to then co-founder. We'll get the inside scoop on what it's like to build a billion dollar company from the ground up. And throughout it all, we'll get Lisa's best tips for developing radical confidence. So Lisa, from my understanding,
Starting point is 00:02:22 you grew up in a Greek Orthodox household. I am Arab American. I grew up in New Jersey. You grew up in England, but we have a lot in common in terms of the way that our communities and societies viewed women. So for me growing up, like one of the main goals of women, Arabic women, is to get married and become a housewife. And learning your story, I learned that a lot of the adults around you basically told you like marriage is going to be the way that your saved. Marriage is going to like have you be the happy person that you want to be. And you kind of just got to wait until you get married and then your life is going to get better.
Starting point is 00:02:57 So I'd love to understand what were you like as a teenager? And how did these messages end up shaping what happened to you later on? Oh, I love this question so much because a lot of people do kind of almost blame their past, blame their parents, blame the people around them that taught them maybe behavior that didn't actually serve us. So we all know many of us women were taught not to have boundaries, right, to put ourselves last. But the point is I don't look back and blame people. I just try to understand where they come from so that I know how to change.
Starting point is 00:03:25 And so to your point about being brought up Greek Orthodox, when I ended up being a stay-at-home wife to my husband, I was like, how the hell did I get here? This was the last thing I wanted and yet here I am. And in assessing the messages that I was told when I was younger, it was things like I would fall on the floor, scrape my knee as a kid, right? You're crying. My grandmother's, the way she would console me would be to tell me, it's okay, you'll be better by the time you get married. And so when you think about little subliminal messages like this that girls are getting on the daily, it's basically. telling you your life is the epitome, the whole reason why you're alive, it's fine. Just get married and everything will be okay. So I understand why I ended up having a mindset that thought that I should as a woman be a stay-at-home wife, take care of my husband and have kids. And so like all these little subliminal messages that I got really did shape who I was and then how I showed up every day. And it wasn't until I started to look at my life and was I happy. Then I started to establish, hang on a minute, I have a belief system that no longer serves me. I have a belief system that doesn't serve my goals or my dreams. And so how do I look at this belief system without making
Starting point is 00:04:34 myself feel badly? That's step number one. And that was why I looked back with grace and just say, oh, this is why Lisa. And then two, what am I going to do about it? How am I going to change? What am I going to pivot? How am I going to adopt a new belief system? And so that's kind of like a bit of my background to set me up for being that stay at home wife that supported my husband for eight years and thinking that was my purpose. Yeah. And so I followed you and Tom for a while. You know, I've been in this self-improvement space. And you guys have been married for, I guess, 20 years now. Is that right? Yeah. We've been married for 20 and together for 22. Wow. So like that's such a long time. And based on my research, I found out that you guys met in film school. And you actually
Starting point is 00:05:14 wanted to get into this field. And you were going after your dreams. You guys met at film school. So what happened? Did you just drop, you know, drop that sort of dream and just went into housewife mode? Did you guys actually talk about that or did it just naturally happen? So this is the utter fear that I live with on a day-to-day basis is how many of us say, I blinked and then I look around and I'm like, how did I end up here? That's how it felt that I blinked. I had these dreams. I was this young girl that went to film school. I would wake up at three in the morning to watch the Academy Awards. And then I blink and I'm a stay-at-home wife for eight years and I'm not happy and I don't identify with the life that I now live. And so it feels like a blink.
Starting point is 00:05:57 But that's out of BS. It's not never just a blink. It's small little decisions that we end up making that lead us down a path that we may believe is the quote unquote right path, the one that we should take, the one that is going to make other people happy. And we do it, at least I'm going to speak for myself. I did it with a convincing notion that it's not, it's just this one little thing. You're just going to help your husband out here. You're just going to stay at home for six months. You're just going to support him for a little bit.
Starting point is 00:06:25 You're just going to put his clothes out, right? And it becomes, I'm just going to sacrifice for a minute. Like, it's not going to be my entire life. I'm just going to sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice. And what ends up, at least happen to me is within that sacrifice, where Tom wanted to go and make enough money so that we could make movies together. So that's where the dream started. And in that dream, it's like, cool, baby.
Starting point is 00:06:45 you're going to go out and we started to do research to see what was the most impressive entrepreneurs out there and how did they live on a day to day? Because you can get blinded by the success, the wealth, all of that, but how do they actually live? So we looked at Steve Jobs at the time. This is around 2003. So we look at Steve Jobs and we're like, how does he live his life? Not like on a high level, but what does an average Wednesday of his life look like? And so we started to study and we'd heard these interviews where he basically always wore that black t-shirt or the black, black polo neck and jeans. And the reason was is he was like, I can only make a certain amount of decisions in the day with utter clarity. And so why
Starting point is 00:07:20 the hell would I waste it on something like, what am I going to wear? Taking that idea, Tom and I were like, oh, we're partners. All right, babe, you go out and work. I'm going to take care of everything else. That all you have to do is wake up, your clothes are waiting for you. You walk out the door, I hand you breakfast. You come home, dinner is waiting. And I felt good about being a part. And I felt good about being a partner that can make 50% of the decisions in service of a bigger goal that we have together. Now, going back to that small little thing, I said to myself, I could do that. Like, that sounds easy. I can put out clothes for my husband, cook for him, because in a year we're going to make movies.
Starting point is 00:07:58 So I just need to do it for like six months. I just need to do it for a year. And then what ends up happening is you start to, at least for me, I found validation in that thing. Because I started to feel worse about myself because I was like, I don't want to be put in clothes out. I don't want to put in cleaning. And we all as humans have a way of self-preserving ourselves. And in that moment of as I was starting to cook and clean, I realized I needed to preserve my self-esteem. And so I started to develop an identity of being an amazing wife. Now, what happens
Starting point is 00:08:30 is you lean into that identity, even if it doesn't serve you, it makes you feel good. So on the days where you're having really hard time, where you're doing stuff where you're like, this was not a dream. I was a kid. and I wanted to be a freaking astronaut and here I am picking up my kids poop all day, whatever it is. It's like, how do you go back to realigning with that freaking dream? Because now you're not just dealing with the act of cleaning up your kids poop, right? You're actually dealing with something that's way bigger, which is internal validation versus external validation, which then feeds into your identity. So eight years later, I found myself still cooking and cleaning for my husband and using the
Starting point is 00:09:10 idea that it's just for another six to eight to 12 months. And that is how I think all of us get into a repetitive behavior. And then one final thing to add to this is what I call purgatory of the mundane, which is so many of us women will just keep doing it for the greater good, the greater good, the greater good of our family, the greater good of our friends, the greater good of like the commitment that we've made. And what we end up doing is we don't look at our lives. And our lives are just mundane enough. I'm sure you've interviewed a ton of people where it's like their life goes to crap and they're like on their knees and they've hit rock bottom and in that moment they're like, well, I've got nothing else to lose. I may as well go for this massive audacious dream and in
Starting point is 00:09:51 that becomes the success. But the people that don't have that earthquake, shattering on your knees, what the hell am I doing with my life moment? You self-soothe yourself by just getting up the next day and repeating your same behavior of cooking and cleaning and doing something that doesn't serve you. It's so interesting what you're saying. Like, we all get stuck in the routine and you can't really see the big picture. And something that I heard you say on another one of your interviews that I thought was really interesting was this idea that you tell yourself you're grateful for for the life that you have. Like, when you don't hit rock bottom, you're like, it's not bad enough to complain. Like, how dare I complain that I've got an amazing husband? I've got a roof of my head.
Starting point is 00:10:33 like I can buy basically whatever I want or however you justify why it's okay that you're not living your own identity and your own dream. So I'd love to talk to our listeners about how gratitude isn't always the best thing that you should do. Yeah. This was one of these moments where I was like, oh my God, we're trapping ourselves because we hear something and we're like, oh, this could be really useful, especially when you're an entrepreneur, growth mindset, why you're always looking for that new thing, that new way of improving and getting better. And so I, I've, was in this, I mean, I wasn't an entrepreneur back then, but I was trying to, in that moment, in those moments, I'm like, oh my God, I'm a housewife. And again, I need to state,
Starting point is 00:11:11 there's nothing wrong with being a housewife. It's so damn difficult. I'm saying it as in that wasn't my dream. So in that moment where I realized I'm not living my dream, you find ways as humans to self-soothe. And so how do we self-soothe? Gratitude has become a peace, which can be beautiful, right? Anytime that you're thinking negative thoughts, any time you're just like a debby downer and you can't get yourself out of the rut, you better down well use gratitude as a way to pull you out of that. Here I am wallowing and all this stuff when actually I should be so damn grateful for X, Y and Z. It's damn powerful. The problem is people don't talk about where it spills into toxic gratitude. And this is like one of the biggest prisons that I didn't realize
Starting point is 00:11:53 I was in because I was using this gratitude piece and in the first year was wonderful. In the first year and a half, it was fantastic. In the second year, it was good. By the fourth year, I was like, hmm, by the eighth year, I was like, oh my God, this is what's keeping me stuck. Because I was repeating the things that I wasn't happy about and then ignoring it with something I should be grateful for, which what did that end up doing? It made me not actually take action on the things that bothered me. And so in this moment where I'm like, well, you know, I really don't want to be a stay-at-home wife or you know what?
Starting point is 00:12:25 Like, I'm actually really freaking bored. Like, I'm so bored. I don't know what to do with myself. And this wasn't the life that I dreamt of. immediately the self-soothing part of my brain jumps in and says, but Lisa, imagine that you weren't in this position. You know, how many people out there would love to not have to work. And this is before Quest when my husband was literally, you know, I was a stay-at-home wife taking care of his closing food. So every time this voice in my head that was like, you're not happy,
Starting point is 00:12:51 you're not happy, you're not happy. I would literally just squash it with like, but you're grateful. And so that was where I was like, oh, I've now used this as it's actually held me back. It hasn't actually helped me propel forward. Yeah. I think that's super, super interesting because it's the discomfort to your point and allowing yourself to hear what the unalignment is in your mind so that you can actually make a change. But if you're always just like, well, like, I'm grateful for this. It's like, it's okay to feel negative.
Starting point is 00:13:22 That's how you actually change and know what you need to change. Yeah, I love that so much because that's how I talk to myself. Like, I'm like, I don't like this. Okay, so what are you going to do about it? And this is obviously the new me because I never did this before. I make sure that I do do it. I'm like, well, if you don't like it, you have a choice. You have a choice to accept it or you have a choice to actually do something about it. But it's up to you. Now if you say, I choose to do something about it, now you then go down to the next path of what are you going to do about it. How are you going to do it? And how are you going to hold yourself accountable to saying that you're going to do it? We just need to actually pause and then decide and then we move forward. But we don't actually realize we have the decision. Yeah, totally. So I want to move into you building Quest because a lot of people, Tom for a while was sort of like the face of everything. And people don't realize that like you were in the gym. Like you know what I mean? Like you were helping out the whole time. And you are the co-founder of this company, which is absolutely amazing and super badass. And so from my understanding, Quest grew super fast. It's a billion dollar company. And I couldn't imagine like how hectic that must have been. And I really wanted to get an inside view. of like what it was like to be inside a company that was just scaling so fast where you were one of the leaders of the company.
Starting point is 00:14:36 Yeah, thanks. This is one of these really like fun and interesting stories because I'm sure most of your listeners will relate to this. When you're in it, it doesn't feel like a cool story. When you're in it, it feels like shit is hitting the fan every single freaking day and you're like Wonder Woman with your cuffs just trying to freaking block the blows, right? And so it's so beautiful to be able to tell the story afterwards. And that has then become something that has allowed me to embrace the crap when I'm actually in it because I remind myself, it never feels great in that moment.
Starting point is 00:15:07 So it's just been a great like reminder for my future self. So I was a stay at home wife for eight years. My husband was miserable, right? He kept trying to chase money. He kept trying to chase money because we had said we were going to make enough money so that we can make movies. And so in committed to that goal, he kept doing it. And so he found these guys who were his business partners. They start to build another company.
Starting point is 00:15:27 they all hate it. My husband becomes utterly miserable. And now I'm a stay-at-home wife for eight years. He's coming home every single night miserable. And in that moment, I was like, what have we done? We've changed, we've swapped out a dream for the finance. And now we're being driven by the money, not by the mission or the purpose, which we, back then, it wasn't like people were talking about mission and purpose. So we couldn't really put words to it, but that was the truth. In that moment, when it came to her head, I had to ask myself, what is more important? My marriage or this dream and goal that we've said we wanted. And the truth was, it was my marriage. So for the first time I pulled him aside and I said, babe, this isn't working. And I've lost my joyful husband. And now I'm not living a life that I love. Now, I wasn't this articulate, right? But like, I was stumbling through it in like half tears and like, I just love you. And like, it's not worth it anymore. You know, that type of thing. But it really was like, it came to a head where it's, like, it's. like we are now actually destructively ruining our spirits and then our spirits are ruining our relationship. And so in that moment, we realize we're never going to chase money again. And so in
Starting point is 00:16:37 that moment, he went in to quit this other company with his business partners. And in saying, I no longer want to do this, they admitted they were miserable. And so as a collective, they said, all right, we'll start a side company and what are we going to do that we actually love? And so for very different reasons, they chose a protein bar. Now, as the good wife, my identity hadn't shifted. I was still showing up as the wife that was identifying my husband's not happy. Even in this story, I wasn't saying I wasn't happy. I was saying my husband isn't happy. And so we ended up having that discussion. He had the discussion with his business partners. And so they all said, oh, let's do a protein bar company. Now, as the good Greek wife, I was like, babe, how can I help? What can I do? Because they were still
Starting point is 00:17:22 trying to exit their tech company that they hated. So while they were trying to exit the other company, as people may know, right, juggling two companies is really bloody difficult. So when are you going to make protein bars? When are you going to ship them out? And I put my hand up. And I was like, oh, I can help. I don't have a job. I'll help you. What can I do? But I came in as just the wife that was helping. Now, what we didn't predict is that the company would grow at 57,000%. Now, at 57,000, what that looks like is you go from zero to a billion dollars within five years, and we got announced as the second fastest growing company in North America within the first three years. So now put yourself in my shoes, who's been a stay-at-home wife for eight years, decides to
Starting point is 00:18:04 just volunteer to help out her husband and his business partners, and then blinks and finds herself in the midst of growing a shipping department, because that was where I started. I was like, oh, I can ship bath on my living room floor. I'm growing a 57,000 percent. I went from shipping bars from my living floor one day. Within a couple of months, I'm taking a big garbage bag of orders over my shoulder and I'm walking to the post office. Within two other months, I've got a garage and I'm shipping out of a garage and having
Starting point is 00:18:33 UPS pick it up. So you blink another year later, I've got a 10,000 square foot facility with 40 employees working directly under me. So as somebody who is very insecure, very vulnerable, very sensitive for like, I used to be get-ups bullied as a kid. So with all of this growing up, I just had to learn and I had to learn quickly. And every time I hit a roadblock and I'm sure all your entrepreneurs know this, every time you hit a roadblock, there's no one to turn to.
Starting point is 00:19:00 There's no one to blame. There's no one to point in the finger out. And because my husband was still trying to sell the tech company, I was the responsible one that everybody was turning to on the daily. And then the final piece is when you have something that is collateral, that is very valuable to you, you better believe you're going to fight for it. And so we decided we'll put up our house up for collateral. So if the company lost, we lost our house.
Starting point is 00:19:27 And so now you can imagine the wife Lisa, who didn't know how to be a boss, who had never really been an employee before, who really didn't know what she was doing, every time I hit a roadblock, every time I had to learn a new computer software system, or I had a time where we were able to have a potential to get bars to Justin Bieber in Dubai. And so you can imagine a small business,
Starting point is 00:19:49 you get the opportunity for one of the biggest stars in the universe to hold your product. So now I've set the stage. I have no idea what I'm doing, right? I know how to like print stamps and I hit up my UPS company and I'm like, hey guys, we've got to get a food package across the country, across the world, to a country Dubai
Starting point is 00:20:09 who already has very strict regulations. Oh, and by the way, we need to do it in 48 hours. Now, in any situation, your average employee would go into that situation and they would call up. The UPS guy literally said, no, sorry, it's not possible. They would have put the phone down. They would have gone to their manager and they're like, sorry, we can't do it. Now, when it's your business, when your house is up for collateral, even though I had no idea what I was doing, in that moment, I could have been petrified. I could have let my self-esteem get in the way.
Starting point is 00:20:35 I could have let my ego get in the way of like, I don't know what I'm doing and this isn't my job. Or I can figure it the F out. And so in that moment, I was like, you just have to figure out the F out, Lisa, because no one's going to care about your business more than you. And this wasn't like a deliberate thing. It was just me scrambling to go, well, shit, I can't let people down. Well, shit, I can't lose my house? Well, hell, everyone's relying on me to get these bars out.
Starting point is 00:20:58 And so I call up the UPS guy and he said, no. So I said, can I speak to your manager, please? So his manager comes on and his manager is like, well, no, can't do it. So I was like, can I speak to your manager, please? And so I had a whole list of questions and I just started going, cool. What are the questions I can ask where there's nowhere else for them. to go. And so I was like, what paperwork do I have to fill out? What's the cost is it? Do I have to pay double? Do I have to pay triple? Do I have to call the UPS manager myself in Dubai and ask him
Starting point is 00:21:24 to keep an eye out from it? Do I have to find an Uber to go to the UPS store to pick it up? Like, this is how I thought. And it wasn't that I was educated. It wasn't that I had this special talent. It was just that I was so damn driven to find an answer that I wouldn't stop. And so that was how, in all the messes that I, you know, how I went from being the stay-at-home wife to the person you see today where I can very much articulate how I think and why I think and why I do things. But that's the transition. I didn't start here. I started from an utter mess who had no idea what she was doing and I just figured it out. Let's hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors.
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Starting point is 00:24:59 So speaking of like a little bit of a lack of experience, you were a housewife turned businesswoman, started leading a team. From my understanding, you were working with like ex-convicts, I guess, in the factory. and also men who had several years of business experience and you had to sit in the same room and on the same table. So how did you deal with imposter syndrome? Oh, dude, this is a great question. So, okay, there's two things.
Starting point is 00:25:24 So yes, when we started Quest Nutrition, me and my husband very much believed that we didn't care what your past was because we've all made mistakes. So who are you willing to show up today and be? And how hard are you willing to work? Who is the person you want to become? and are you showing up every day in service of that person?
Starting point is 00:25:42 That's how we thought. And so our first facility was just outside Compton. And so we were like, because my husband had a big brothered for an in-the-city kid. So that was why it was very important to us to make sure that we gave everybody a chance. And so we put, you know, the call out in the streets. And so before you know it, you have a lot of big, beefy dudes that can work in a factory. right? They can and very easily adapt to a production facility. So for me, with shipping, I had a lot of guys that were willing to work very hard with big muscles and come in and do a lot of
Starting point is 00:26:17 manual labor. And so they ended up being the most amazing humans. Now, the problem is, though, is that I had zero experience of being a leader and I'm five foot one and I'm British. So you can imagine you've got these hardcore six for five dudes with tats up their arm and, you know, not the tat to bad. I freaking love tats. But, you know, it's like, they can be intimidating. I'm just going to be freaking honest. And so originally, I was like, well, I have to read leadership books. Like, do what everyone else tells you. So I read Cheryl Sandbergs, you know, lean in. I read all the books. Now, at the time, it basically was, the messaging was, be as tough as a guy. And so I was like, all right, well, I'm going to freaking lean in and I'm going to be a freaking tough nut.
Starting point is 00:26:59 Now, I would go in the facility and I would just scream bark orders, demand. You know, like I wasn't commanding. I was demanding. And surprise, surprise, I didn't get the best out of my team. And I would see Tom bond amazingly well with the same guys. And I was like, what is it that he's able to do that I'm unable to? If I just dismiss it because I'm a woman, he's a guy, I'm dead in the water. Where that doesn't serve me?
Starting point is 00:27:24 So I was like, okay, maybe it is. But it's more than that. It's more than just that. Yeah. So I was like, what is he doing? And I was like, okay, he's being authentic. and is connecting with them in his authenticity. So I stepped back and I was like, okay, well, what do I, what's authentic me?
Starting point is 00:27:40 I freaking love hip hop. I am like, at the age of 15, I was like a gangster rapper. And so I freaking loved Tupac and Biggie. Like I was in the American pop culture of hip hop. And these guys were gangsters. And so I was like, well, shit, I'm going to buy speakers. And this is actually what I did. I bought speakers.
Starting point is 00:28:01 I put them in our production facility. And then one day when it became a very big busy day, whenever we would launch a new flavor, it was always like balls to the walls. And so I had planned so that when we were on a busy day, I have my, I can't remember it. I don't think it was an iPod back then. Anyway, I had a music device and I played Tupac. And then I blast it from our production facility. And I would go out, because again, I'm a gangster rapper. I know all the lyrics.
Starting point is 00:28:27 So I would step out and then British me would start to rap. And they would look at me and it did multiple things. A, it made me relatable. B, it made them see me as a human. C, they realized I was kind of cool. And then B, number four, wherever I am, they realized that I was looking to change and motivate them. And I was no longer just barking orders at them.
Starting point is 00:28:50 I was like, all right, people. And I would make it a game. And with the music, it became this fun gamification where my team then ended up freaking loving working hard. And so that was all just me stumbling in the dark by me going, oh, this doesn't work. Do I want to make it work? Yes.
Starting point is 00:29:12 What am I going to try? And then being bullish enough to keep trying things until it works. Yeah. I love that. You went out of your way to find common ground, still be authentic. And the thing is that people like people like them. So as soon as they saw like, oh, wow, like I have this like hip hop thing. in common. Maybe she's cool. Maybe she's nice. Maybe I'll give her a chance. So I love that little
Starting point is 00:29:33 story. Let's talk about you and Tom's loyalty because to me, this is really interesting. You were so loyal to him, you're willing to put up your house as collateral. You were so loyal to him, you're willing to give up your dream for many, many years. And it seems like for a while you were so loyal that you lost your identity in him. And so I'd love for you to talk about, I guess the pros and cons, because I know there's a lot of pros to you guys being so loyal to each other. What are the cons and what do we have to be aware of so that we don't go so deep into our loyalty that we actually lose ourselves? Yeah, there's a massive difference, I think, between loyalty and blind loyalty. And I was just being blindly loyal to serve him without serving myself.
Starting point is 00:30:15 And what I realized was that still didn't make for a great relationship because I wasn't happy. And so I think that that's super freaking important. I'm still, like, deathly loyal to my husband. Like, I would literally burn my company to the ground in a heartbeat. I wouldn't think twice about it for my husband. and he would do the same. And so it became a, do you support the person that you're with? And what does support mean and look like? Now, in that moment, I was blindly supporting him without considering what would make me happy. And I think that that's where I went wrong. I also wasn't reassessing our game plan.
Starting point is 00:30:49 So we had planned, okay, we're going to, you know, work for a year, work for 12 months or whatever. And then we're going to make movies because we've just going to have made all this money. We didn't reassess, right? We just kept going on that. that train of what we've said we're doing this, let's keep going. And I think what makes the most successful entrepreneurs are people that actually know when it's time to stop, when it's time to quit, when it's time to let go, not just when it's time to push harder. It was Nasty Alucan, who is a gold medalist. She said it the best. This hits me so damn hard. Where she was as a gold medalist, she was practicing, you know, as a kid, 11, 12 years old.
Starting point is 00:31:22 It's freaking intense. And she goes to her mom one day and she's crying. She's like, I hate this. I don't want to do it anymore. And a mom says, darling, you can quit anytime, but you cannot quit on a bad day. So she said, that's the only rule I have. Quit on good days. Quit anytime you like. You're just not allowed to quit on days where things are going wrong. And so what that does is that reorients you to let you know, do I actually want this? Do I like it? Or do I just want to quit because it's hard? So that's like a very important just note on like when to quit and when not to. That was something that Tom and I didn't do. We didn't reassess our goal.
Starting point is 00:32:00 We didn't reassess our plan. We didn't actually know what a goal was or how to plan a goal. A goal needs a freaking deadline. And so we didn't actually give it a deadline. We just kept punting. So in that punting, I felt like, well, I've committed to my husband. I'm loyal to my husband. I'm loyal to this plan.
Starting point is 00:32:17 And God forbid I change, does that mean I'm no longer loyal? And the truth is no, of course it doesn't. It means that you actually are just as loyal because you're holding yourself and him accountable to the plan and goal that you guys have set. Now, there's one really freaking important thing here to anyone that's listening that's in a relationship that wants to be in business and a relationship. Know who you're with. That's it.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Know your partner. Because when Tom came to me and said, babe, I'm putting the house on the line. A, I recognize the difference on how me and Tom think. I valued the house because I saw it as my nest. Tom valued the house because he saw it as a nest egg. So when he comes to me and says, babe, I want to put the house on the line. It's because he's like, this is valuable.
Starting point is 00:33:01 This is what's going to get us to our dream because we're putting the thing that's valuable here. But I'm only got the house because it's valuable. I haven't got the house because I love it because I want to bring up my children here. But I do. So now you can imagine just in this discussion where he comes to me, says we want to put the house on the line.
Starting point is 00:33:17 if I don't understand where he's coming from, I'm just like, my house? What do you mean? And this is where I think couples really have the friction, where they've maybe met, they maybe have these big dreams, they get married or they settle down, and then their ideal of life ends up pivoting or changing. Or you think because you've got a ring on your finger, that that changes the trajectory of what you had said, the life you were going to live.
Starting point is 00:33:41 So when Tom came back and said, but babe, this is like, you know I'm ambitious, in that moment, I'm like, oh, I know the man I married. I married an ambitious man. And for me to think or for me to even want to change that, I have to really assess that because that is part of what I found sexy in him in the first place. Is that I found the fact that he's driven, he's ambitious, he's got these big, massive dreams. And so in order for me to stay true as his partner,
Starting point is 00:34:08 I need to encourage that, not dampen it. So when he comes to me and says, I want to put the house on the line, I need to understand, A, why he's saying it, B, is this a surprise to me? No. So now I think if I had said, no, what do you mean? This is our house. This is our dream. I would be going back on my word as a partner. In my word as a wife, because when I got married, I absolutely did commit to marrying and supporting him. And so when I was able to really narrow it like that and I just ask myself, I can get another bloody house. Who cares? it's like, it's just four walls and a roof.
Starting point is 00:34:44 I can get another one of those. I cannot get another Tom. Yeah. There's seven point whatever billion people in the world. I don't think there's only one person for you, but there's one person I've committed my life to and that's him. And that commitment doesn't change because it's hard. That commitment doesn't change because now he's maybe taking away something.
Starting point is 00:35:07 I'm not even taken away, but he wants to gamble with something that maybe I have an, identity attachment to. And that's what it was. It was an identity attachment. This is the house that I was going to bring my kids up in. Yeah. So you and Tom are so incredible because I feel like because you're so committed, because you're so loyal, you're in such a secure relationship. I have to imagine that that really helps with your confidence, just knowing that like you've got this whole other person who has your back, who will give up anything, kill somebody for you, whatever it is, right? So how does your relationship actually make you feel more confident?
Starting point is 00:35:39 Here's the tricky thing is that I did allow my relationship to impact my confidence. And actually having gone through from being a housewife to being an entrepreneur, I've actually realized that's so damn dangerous. And I've allowed my husband, I've like unshackled my husband from that duty. Because I do think that that's almost not fair on him to say my confidence is going to come from how you show up or how you talk to me or how you behave. It's just a dangerous game because when the more understanding I do about hormones and emotions and things like that, it's a tightrope that I would be walking if I allowed my confidence to come from him. Yeah. So I realized I had to build it myself and then that came up with, okay, how are you going to build your own confidence, Lisa?
Starting point is 00:36:28 Now, look, that is not to say, I definitely will not BS you. Your partner has absolute tremendous power over you and you absolutely have tremendous power over them. If I told my husband enough that his arms were puny, I know him enough. Guaranteed in two months, he'd be in the gym and he'd be freaking like grunting to try and get his arms to be bigger because he would take that as somewhat of an message to him. I think beautiful and I don't think, I think today's society is getting weird about not having like this way of like emmeshment. And so I actually love the emmeshment with my husband. I seek it with him, and yet I know all at the same time I can't rely on it at all. And so that's why I don't want to BS and say, oh, screw him.
Starting point is 00:37:15 All the confidence comes from me. No, no. I know that very realistically that if my husband kept showing up and he kept saying something was like bad or whatever, I would internalize that. Yeah. So it has to be two ways. It has to be both. It has to be seeking your own confidence.
Starting point is 00:37:30 And then also even in just confidence in your partner. And in that, maybe you're not asking this question, but I'd love to just drop this little thing on just like jealousy. You have to be confident in yourself that your partner isn't going to go out and seek someone else. Now, here's the thing. If they do, it is nothing to do with you. Yeah. And look, I cannot speak for other people and maybe somebody's listening right now. They're like, what are you talking about Lisa? That isn't my situation.
Starting point is 00:37:56 But that is how I've processed it. Because if my husband goes, I cannot control him, which is why I'll never get obsessive, which is why I refuse to ever be. jealous, which is why as we're building quest, I'm sure you can imagine, all of a sudden he gets more notoriety. He gets a little bit more famous. People start to know who he is. He starts to get way more wealthy. He starts to get more into his health and his body. You go to these events, right? You're like a billion dollar company. Oh my God, he's the co-founder. He's hot, if I can just say so. And you get women in bikinis that are absolutely flirting with him. Now, I could sit here and go, these bitches. That doesn't do anything to.
Starting point is 00:38:33 me that just brings more anger and hate inside me. I could be like, what the hell is my husband talking to them? That doesn't help my relationship. Or I can say Lisa, if he seeks external like satisfaction, then he's not right for you. And every day, it isn't that I'm, it's easy to say, but you better believe I repeat that to myself because I cannot under any circumstances that allows my husband's actions to ever impact the work I do on myself on a freaking daily basis. So people literally will joke. I joke. He could be walking down the damn street with his arm around a woman. Someone could take a photo and send it to me and I'll be like, oh, it must have been a fan. She must have been crying. You know, and so he was just walking her to the shop because she was in tears.
Starting point is 00:39:18 Like, I would never go straight to jealousy because I won't allow myself to get that. Because the second that I'm jealous, it means that either I don't trust him, which remember, I can't control him, or I think less of myself and screw that. I've been there. I spent my entire teenager that he is there and I won't ever do that again. Yeah. And I have to say that jealousy is a very unattractive quality. So the last thing that you want to do with your significant other is be jealous because they're actually going to think even if subconsciously that you're less because you are
Starting point is 00:39:50 being jealous or you have a reason to feel threatened or something. So I totally agree with that. So I know you basically believe that you are the hero of your own life, but it wasn't always that way. For a while, you were having Tom sort of be the hero of your life and you felt like you needed him all the time and you were a little bit dependent on him previous to basically a wake-up call that you had after a health scare. So I'd love for you to tell us a little bit about some of the health problems that you had and how that really helped you make a big transformation in terms of your mindset. Yeah, I'm not sure how far back you want me to go, but I can give a very
Starting point is 00:40:25 quick recap for my health situation because that might help the context. So growing up, I had a mother who was borderline anorexic and then in my teenage years, she swung very hard in the other way and when it was clinically obese. And she used food as a way to either soothe herself, to punish herself, to get validation. And I just grew up with that idea. And so because I was teased, because I was bullied, I never wanted to be mocked or teased. So I was like, well, I'm just going to have to stay skinny as skinny as possible. Now, of course, that ends up with a very unhealthy mindset. It leads to a very unhealthy relationship with food. I don't really realize, though, what it's actually doing to my body. And we start Quest. I am very insecure. So I think to
Starting point is 00:41:09 myself, I have to work more hours than anybody else because at that moment in that time, I thought that the more hours I worked, the more validation points I would get. And so I was the person that was 14 hours, 15 hours, 16 hours a day. If I have to do it, then I will do it without complain, without any, you know, like, I just thought that that's what I had to do in order to gain respect. And in that effort, in doing that, not realizing that your gut holds, what is it, 70% of your immune system, I kept getting sick a lot. And in that sickness, doctors were giving me antibiotics. Now, you do that for year after year after year after year. It came to a point, Quest is announced as a billion dollar company.
Starting point is 00:41:49 We actually get the dream house. So we would, like, drive around Beverly Hills on days where we really were like, what the hell are we doing in hair nets every day? We have no idea what we're doing, making a protein bar. drive around Beverly Hills as our motivation. So cut to years later, we finally get the house in Beverly Hills. Like the actual dream has come true. We get a bottle of champagne. We're in, like, it's the dream come true. We open the bottle. I take a swig of the champagne. And in that moment, all I can say is it felt like my gut erupted. Now, this was seven years ago. I'm still on the journey back to health to give you an idea of how bad it got. Now, the reason why I brought up
Starting point is 00:42:25 what day it happened on is it couldn't have actually happened on the better day. Because on that day of like the height of our success, I realized, oh, actually it doesn't mean anything if you don't have your health. Now, for a year after that moment, I could about eat four or five ingredients, which meant that I was extremely malnutritioned. My hair was falling out. I could barely stand up longer than five minutes at a time. I was about 20 pounds lighter than you see me now. And it got to the point where my health was so bad. It just hurt to have intimacy. And it hurt, I mean, it hurt to stand up. So you can imagine. A, what that would do to any relationship.
Starting point is 00:43:02 My husband is so kind and so supportive that immediately he was like, cool, babe, I'm going to adopt your diet. And he was like, if you can't eat cake, I'm not going to eat cake. And so it was like, it would be his birthday. And he'd be like, no, I'm not having cake. He's like, I'm going to have an, you know, scrambled eggs like you. Because that's all, you know, so he was so damn supportive. And so, but within that support, what I ended up doing is just turning to him.
Starting point is 00:43:25 And so every time I was down, every time I was feeling bad, every time I was having a emotional reaction to something. I just thought, well, he's here to support. And it got to the point where when it's a health condition and when it becomes this, you know, thing, time and time and time again, he really did pull me aside and basically said, hey, look, you're just leaning into your emotions more. And as in business, he's like, you're going to erode your credibility as a leader because you're showing up emotional. Now, the thing between me and my husband is that we've got the commitment that would always be honest with each other, even when it's hard to say. So in that moment I was like, shit, I was, I was leaning on him to almost be my barometer and that wasn't
Starting point is 00:44:04 fairer on him. And I realized I was holding myself back. And then the added thing was I was doing the same to doctors. I was turning to my husband for the support and be the expert in my emotions. And I was turning to the doctors to fix my gut. And in that, I was never going inward. I was never saying, Lisa, how do you feel? And I was blindly following doctors that when they would tell me, Lisa, stop eating red meat. That's what they told me. Stop eating red meat and eat raw vegetables. It sounded like, you know, when you get that like emotional trigger before you even like have a chance to think about it? Yeah. That trigger in my head was like, oh my God, that isn't going to work. But I ignored it. I ignored my gut, no pun intended. I ignored my gut instinct.
Starting point is 00:44:44 I blindly followed the doctor and exactly what I predicted happened. Happened. I was an utter gut disarray. And so you combine all of these things where I'm turning to my husband, I'm turning to the doctors, I'm turning to everyone for experts. And I wasn't getting better. And what I realized was in this one moment where I was on my knees, I was in the middle of a photo shoot and I get this massive gut pain. Again, guys, it's so bad. I have to, I fall to my knees. So I'm in this photo show. I'm trying not to fall to my knees in front of everyone. I'm in utter agony. I excuse myself because, of course, in those days as a woman, I couldn't tell people that I was in pain. So I just excuse myself, I run up to my bedroom and I fall to my knees actually
Starting point is 00:45:24 clutching my stomach. I can barely breathe. So I'm like gasping for like air. I grab my phone and me and my husband, we have rules of engagement. I can ignore your phone call if you call me once. I can ignore your phone call if you actually call me twice. If you call me three times in a row and I'm interviewing Oprah or Michelle Obama, I got to say, sorry, oh, I got to go. My husband's calling me. That's where, that's our agreement, because that means the world is crumbling. So I'm on my knees. I can barely breathe. I grab my phone and I call my husband once. He ignores me. I call him. twice he ignores me. I'm like, okay, I knew it. I call him a third time. I'm like, okay,
Starting point is 00:46:01 he's going to answer. He doesn't answer. And so now, in this moment, I'm on my knees, and I'm like, well, I need my husband. I need my husband. I need my husband. But because he doesn't answer, I go, okay, you've got a choice. You stay on your knees, Lisa, or you get up. And so I was like, well, shit, you're the hero of your own damn life. Get the fuck up. And so that is exactly what I did. And in that moment, it changed my life forever. It made me realize I was waiting to be saved by everybody else. I was waiting to be saved by my dad's growing up. I was waiting to be saved by my husband. I was waiting to be saved by the doctors. And yet this one little moment where I just said, get the fuck up. I did. And I was like,
Starting point is 00:46:44 oh my God, I'm my own hero. And that, that one idea literally echoed into every single thing I do as a leader, as an entrepreneur, as a wife, as a daughter, as a friend, as a sister, and as a host. We'll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors. What's up, young and profitors? I remember when I first started Yap, I used to dread missing important calls. I remember I lost a huge potential partnership because the follow-up thread got completely lost in my messy communication system. Well, this year, I'm focused on not missing any opportunities. and that starts with your business communications. A missed call is money and growth out the door.
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Starting point is 00:49:29 and edit photos. Plus, marketing is built in so you can create email and social campaigns easily. And as you grow, Shopify can scale right along with your business. In 2026, stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com slash profiting. Go to Shopify.com slash profiting. Go to Shopify.com. profiting. That's Shopify.com slash profiting. Yeah, fam, hear your first. This new year was Shopify by your side. I love that. And I'm super to happy. It seems like your gut health is a little bit more under control. Yeah, it's just one of these things. I realized long, long time ago that we all tried to seek perfection. And I was like, when I'm better, and I was like, well, Lisa, hang on a minute,
Starting point is 00:50:17 maybe you'll never get better. And that's fine. That's actually okay. What I seek is progression. And so today, what am I going to do better today? What am I going to do better tomorrow? And if I'm never going to be 100% better, how am I going to keep showing up to live in my true authenticity? And when I say that, I mean to go out and crush my goals and be a freaking badass and show up with aggression and still love myself and do self-care. And so with all of that combination, yeah, is pretty much who I show up to be today.
Starting point is 00:50:44 And I still have to navigate when I travel. I have to take all my supplements. I have to call restaurants. I still have to ask what oils they use. Like it's not. I still deal with it on a day-to-day basis. I just don't let it dictate my life. I don't let it take over.
Starting point is 00:50:56 And I just see it as part of who I am instead of this part of me that I wish wasn't there. Yeah, I love that. So I've been having a lot of power couples on the show. So I recently had Alex and Leila Hermose, Grant and Elena Cardone. And Lisa, I have one half of a power couple.
Starting point is 00:51:13 So I hope to have Tom on soon so I can have three power couples in a row on the show. That'd be so much fun. So I want to understand, and I know we're like running out of time, but I have so much more to ask you. I wasn't going to ask you this, but since you and Tom are such a great couple, you've been together for 22 years. I don't like taking relationship advice from people who don't actually seem happy. And you guys do seem really happy. So I want to understand some of your top tips to keep a happy relationship and keep it sexy.
Starting point is 00:51:42 All right. So top tips is number one, you're always going to evolve. So any rules of engagement, any agreements that you've had last year may not still actually mesh with who you are today. And in this platform that you're using, right, I assume a lot of us have the growth mindset. So that should like be no surprise when it comes to business. But for some reason, we still find ourselves surprised when it comes to relationships. And so it is imperative that you guys are always asking each other regular questions. And if it has to be the same questions and it can be the same questions.
Starting point is 00:52:12 But for instance, some of the hard questions that we and Tom ask each other is, What was the thing that I used to do for you that I don't do for you now that you wish I brought back? Or what is the thing that you, that I've evolved into that you are concerned about? Like, all the really freaking hard questions so that you never find yourself surprised. So that's number one. Number two is don't assume you guys are the same. So how, especially if you're both entrepreneurs, you and the guys are not going to be the same. My husband works way more than I do.
Starting point is 00:52:40 I go to around 12 to 14 hours. That's my cut of point. I just, I don't find it interesting anymore. I don't enjoy it. I end up hating my life. But Tom can work 18 hours and be the most excited human on earth. And I've learned to disconnect my validation to being that to like, oh, I've got to keep showing up because he does.
Starting point is 00:52:58 So separating how you show up and being okay with that and then how your partner shows up and then that not being a reflection of you or how you feel. And then communication. Like when I say communication, I know that that's very, everyone says that. But what Tom and I do is we actually have a dictionary of defining terms. terms. So what I mean by that is if you use the word important, if you actually say this is important to me, Tom would leave his shoe, so he's downstairs right now, he's got to shoot. He would leave his shoe in the middle of it. If I said important, why? Because we've actually defined what
Starting point is 00:53:31 that word means to us, which means that we never abuse it. So this means that if I say to him, hey, this is important, he drops everything, he shows up for me no matter what. That is an important definition to have because now imagine you guys aren't on the same page. And you, let's say, right, you use important five times a day. Well, if you say it to me, I interpret that word in a very freaking different way. And what people do is they kind of leave it loose. They're like, yeah, we've had the discussion. No, no, no, no. Don't do this discussion. Actually write it down. This word means this to both of us. Love that. So that's super important. And then the biggest thing really is defining your values. So I think where a lot of people get like in little arguments,
Starting point is 00:54:12 I'm just going to pick a stupid one that actually ends up being the thing that breaks marriages. The dishes are the bed, right? The most people that are here, the women want the dishes done, the guys don't really care. So I just used to think, well, I was brought up in a Greek religion. I was taught that, of course you make your bed. So my husband's going to make the bed if he's the last one out. And so we used to clash, really clash, really clash. And then until we had, what does it actually mean to you?
Starting point is 00:54:34 So this is what I mean by core value. What does making the bed mean to you? Instead of going, it's a freaking bed, just make it. Right? Now I'm dismissing what it means to him. Now I'm dismissed. I'm actually being a bit on my high horse. Like I'm looking down as like, you don't want to make the bed. So being aware of that, being aware of how you approach things. And then why? So why is the bed important to you, Lisa? The answer was because I was brought up to believe the first thing you do in the morning is make your bed. That sets your day up for success. Now the other thing is I have somewhat of a bit of OCD. Like I, I, I find it hard to actually focus when my environment is messy. Okay, that's my value.
Starting point is 00:55:17 I have to make the bed because when things are messy around me, it's hard for me to concentrate and, you know, show up. Well, what's my husband's value? He was tall. He's like, babe, there's only 24 hours in a day. If you want to take up seven seconds of that 24 hours, now it goes against my value system because like Steve Jobs, he's saying, how does me make in the bed allow me to get to my dream,
Starting point is 00:55:41 my goals or fill my ambition. And so now you can understand when you broke it down to what does the bed mean to you, we're not really arguing about the bed. We're arguing about he thinks I'm being dismissive to the value of time. And he feels dismissive to me to what I need to focus. So now you can imagine couples are always freaking arguing about the bed, but they're not actually realizing what they're arguing about. Now once I understand the value, the value system in what he sees the bed making, as in the value system of what I do. Now I literally say to him, well, okay, cool, I understand that making the bed now no longer serves you, but I still want to make the bed.
Starting point is 00:56:20 So what conclusion do we get to? So I was like, cool, I'll just make the bed. Now, the knock on effect was he comes in and he's like, babe, you've just bloody made the bed. It takes me seven seconds to unmake the bed. He actually, it said, it takes me seven seconds to unmake the bed because I've got to put york, because we have different bed sheets because we like to, we have different habits. So he's like, I've got to give you your bed sheet back. I've got to put my one back, and then I've got to move the pillows around.
Starting point is 00:56:43 And he's like, it's a freaking waste of energy. So, again, I just addressed it. I didn't dismiss him. I didn't, because if you don't hear why, people can dismiss this. This is the most ridiculous conversation I've ever heard. You guys are talking about the bed in this way? Yes. You want to know how we've been able to build multiple, huge, multi-figure successful businesses
Starting point is 00:57:02 and be married for 20 years. It's because we don't dismiss stuff like making the bed. And so in unmaking the bed, we then came up with another conclusion. I said, cool, babe, but I still need the bed neat. So what I'm going to do is I won't touch your side of the bed, right? So he's got his own blankets. What if I take my side of my duvet and cover your side? Now you don't have to do anything.
Starting point is 00:57:24 You literally unpeel one side. That takes you two seconds. How do you feel about that? He's like, all right, that I can do. So it's like, great. So now the funny thing is, if you go upstairs into my bedroom, we have a king-sized bed. One side has a massive lump because that's his side of the bed.
Starting point is 00:57:39 But I'm not allowed to touch it. not allowed. That's not true. We came up with the agreement that this is how we both show up and do the bed together. And now you better believe we never freaking argue about the bed again. I love it. It's the small things that really matter. So one other last question before we wrap this up, you've mentioned validation multiple times. And I know that you're a big believer that you really can't get your validation externally. So I'd love for you to share that lesson with us. Oh, God. Yeah. Validation is for parking. That's what I basically say. It's like it should be nowhere else. Look, it's totally natural. I totally understand. I think most of us do. And that's
Starting point is 00:58:14 where I think we get trapped. And so I think, A, we need to identify where do we get that validation from with zero judgment. Like, we've got to give ourselves the damn grace and zero judgment. And that's what I did. Okay, I got my validation by being a Greek wife. Okay, I understand where that came from. It came from my grandparents. It came from my dad who were very traditional. Cool, but I just put it there. I get my validation from being a great wife because my dad compliments me. Right. Like everyone was complimenting what an amazing wife I was. So once I identified it, I said, cool, I don't be myself up, but I understand why this doesn't serve me because I no longer want to be a stay-at-home wife. So I just assessed it. And I said, cool, can you still be an amazing wife, but not have to put clothes out for your husband and clean for your husband? And I said, yes, great, what does that look like? So I just laid out what it looked like to me to be a great wife without it holding me back from my dreams. And so I wrote what that meant. And so I was now able, I was taken over, and I was taking control of my own validation. And I said, if I do these things, do I feel good about myself as a good wife?
Starting point is 00:59:17 Yes, great. Then I'm just saying with business. Is that if we can all get external validation, especially in the business that we're in, where if you get a lot of likes, a lot of views, a lot of great comments, you feel great about yourself. You can't bullshit that. And if you don't and you put a piece of content out and everyone's like, oh, my God, this interview was Lisa was horrendous.
Starting point is 00:59:36 What were you thinking? Never interview her again. Whether you like it or not, you're going to feel a little bad. You'd be like, oh man, I missed the mark. Now, the question is, how do you make sure that that isn't about you? That it's not a personal thing. That's where the validation comes, right? Well, we internalize it about being about us. That's taking the external validation and then allowing it to penetrate. Instead, you take the sting and you go, what can I learn from this and what can I do better next time? And when you show up and do better next time, what you've done is you've built internal validation that you're the type of person that said, I can do better next time and you showed up and did better. It's now not about the likes, the comments, the things, because that's going to be inevitable.
Starting point is 01:00:26 No, the better you do, the bigger you get, the more people are going to want to push. you down. That's going to be inevitable. How do you not get trapped? You use this as a way to build the internal validation that when something terrible happens and you put out something that people freaking despise. You still in that moment could go, holy shit, I'm great because I'm going to take these lessons and I'm going to improve. I love that. I feel like I could talk to you for so much longer, Lisa. You were such a pleasure, dropped so many bombs. So the last questions that I asked Oh, my guess. The first one is what is one actionable thing that our young improfitors can do today to become more profiting tomorrow? Be honest with exactly where you are today and where you want to go and what that gap is.
Starting point is 01:01:14 Because without that utter honesty, you're not going to be able to know clearly with clarity what skill sets you have to gain. I love that. Ego can get in the way basically, right? It can be like, oh, you can do this? Can you? Or do you have to learn? Like, that's what I mean by where we're. you now, where are you going and what is that gap? I love that. Assessing your gaps, making sure you learn
Starting point is 01:01:34 the right skills. And what is your secret to profiting in life? And profiting can mean money, relationships, overall well-being. Oh, it's something that I like to call emotional sobriety. So I can allow my emotions to get in my way. I'm just going to be honest. I am very empathetic. I have a big heart, so I feel a lot. I have a lot of emotions. And yet I have a very strong business mind. And so for me, it was, how do I practice the skill of emotionally stabilizing myself in moments that are deeply upsetting, deeply frustrating, something that may want to bring me to my knees in the middle of a meeting where, let's say, somebody is either talking down to me or I feel the imposter syndrome. How do I emotionally regulate in those very moments is the biggest
Starting point is 01:02:19 skill set, I think any entrepreneur should adopt? Because everything, I'm going to, uh, should adopt. Because everything else can be learned. You can Google share. You can learn other things. That is a thing that I think so many of us find hard to regulate. And I think that's the shit that gets in most of our ways because we take things personally. We want to get, you know, we want to show up. We want to like prove ourselves and the emotion piece. You get that right. I think you're on a great path. I love that. That's some great advice, Lisa. Where can everybody learn more about you and everything that you do? Oh, thanks, honey. So Instagram, I'm definitely on Instagram. I love Instagram. stories is a lot behind the scenes. I have amazing conversations with women on my show called
Starting point is 01:02:58 Women of Impact. So that's podcast and YouTube. Yeah. And then my book, Radical Confidence is where I really do take everything I've just said and concretized it into actionable steps. Because going back to my emotions, when I'm in that moment of overwhelmed, stress, imposter syndrome, what am I doing with my life? I need a game plan. I can't think my way out of it or emotionally get myself out of it. I need a game plan that I can go to time and time again. And that's basically, what that book is. So it's called radical confidence because you don't actually need the confidence. You just need this to understand how to show up every day to get competent enough to then gain confidence. Yeah. And I have to say, you guys, radical confidence is a great read. You guys should
Starting point is 01:03:38 pick it up. I'll put the link in the show notes. I'll put the link to Women of Impact in the show notes as well. Lisa, you wrapped it. Thank you so much. Oh, thanks. I mean, this has been so fun. Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. I love that I've been able to interview more self-made women on the show. Lisa co-founded a billion-dollar unicorn company, Quest Nutrition with her husband, Tom Bill You. I mean, how badass is that? And it was really inspiring to hear Lisa's story.
Starting point is 01:04:09 I didn't really know her background before she came on the show. And I loved learning about what she calls the purgatory of the mundane, or settling in life because life is just good enough and comfortable. Lisa says being in the purgatory of mundane is even more dangerous than hitting rock bottom because how the hell do you wake yourself up from that? A lot of us are pushed to make changes when we hit rock bottom, when our backs are against the wall, when we've got nothing to lose. But if we're not careful, if things are going okay, life can continue on in a direction
Starting point is 01:04:43 until one day we wake up and realize that we actually wanted something different. And time is the most valuable thing that we have in life. Take a second and reflect on where you are in life. Could you be in your own purgatory of the mundane? Are you really fulfilling your full potential and pushing yourself? Or are you bored? If things are not horrible, if things are okay, even good, that doesn't mean that your life couldn't be a lot better.
Starting point is 01:05:11 And remember, it doesn't make you ungrateful to want more and to be more in life. Like Lisa mentioned earlier in the interview, gratitude can be toxic if you use it as an excuse to never improve or change. Thanks for listening to this episode of Young and Profiting Podcast with Lisa Bill You. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure you drop us a five-star review on Apple and let me know what your biggest takeaways were. Tell us how you listened, learned, and profited. Writing us review is the number one way to support us here at Young and Profiting Podcast.
Starting point is 01:05:41 If you like to watch your podcast, check us out on YouTube. You can also find me on social media. You can reach out to me on my Instagram at Yap with Hala or LinkedIn. You can search for my name. It's Halataha. Big thanks to my incredible production team at YAPMedia. I appreciate all your hard work. This is your host, the podcast Princess, Halitaha, signing off.

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