Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - Tiffany Carter: The Million-Dollar Mindset Mistake That Cost Me Everything | Mental Health | E411

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Starting point is 00:00:47 Try Quo for free, plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to Quo.com slash profiting. As always, you can find all of our incredible deals in the show notes or at young and profiting. People listening right now, I would say you're leaving millions of dollars on the table by not having stuff addressed that you've been carrying from childhood. That stuff left unaddressed bleeds into your business faster than people realize. Tiffany Carter. She became a millionaire by age 30 and then lost it all nearly just three months later. In this episode, Tiffany reveals how trauma,

Starting point is 00:01:27 people pleasing, scarcity, and a lack of boundaries can quietly sabotage your success. Without self-worth, you sell your soul and you start doing things or you avoid doing things that would get you to where you want to go so much faster. You talk about this ego death. In order to quantum jump, the ego is what's holding us back. That has to die off in order for you to be. What is your number one piece of advice to be better at? selling without being manipulative.

Starting point is 00:01:59 Number one, you're talking too much. We over talk when we're nervous. We over talk when we're eager. We over talk out of excitement. You need to have the other person talking more and you listening more. The other thing. Tiffany, welcome to Young and Profiting Podcast. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:02:18 I'm so happy to be here and finally connect with you in real life. I want to start off by talking about a story that I learned about you when I was researching you, that you acquired a very important. million dollars by the time you were 30, which is like everyone's dream. So many people listening to this podcast wish they could have a million dollars by the age of 30, but you ended up losing it all within three months. So talk to us about why you didn't have the identity that was able to keep the money that you made. How I was raised was in a highly abusive environment. And so I had no self-worth, but on the outside, I knew how to fake it. I knew how to mask. I watched other people

Starting point is 00:03:02 who seemed confident, and I mimicked them. And so that was a survival trait that I was able to have some level of success with. And because I had no fallback person or plan or family, to me, money equaled safety. If I accumulated enough wealth, I would have the options. I would have the ability to protect myself and I wouldn't have to depend on anyone or do anything I didn't want to do for money. So I was fixated on it. And it's an important part of the story because that's not actually a healthy way to go about accumulating money, but it does work, but it comes at a cost. So because I had underneath all of that, no self-worth, when I did see that seven figures in my bank account cross over. I remember where I was standing in my luxury townhouse in Los Angeles. I was by myself.

Starting point is 00:03:59 And I went, oh, okay, that's pretty cool. And then immediately I felt this feeling in my stomach. I can remember it like it was yesterday. Like, now what am I going to do? And who am I to have this? So then those nasty inner critic voices came up, you're an idiot. You don't know what to do with money. and you're selfish. Now you've got to help more people because you have this money. In fact, you're not helping enough people. And it was just going on and on and on. And so I did what I know other people have told me they've also done too, is that like I sought help. I sought counsel. Yeah. And I asked an old mentor of mine for a referral for a financial advisor. And I did not trust my own instincts. This is someone who showed up to a meeting wearing like board shorts and a t-shirt.

Starting point is 00:04:55 Now, listen, when you're meeting someone who's not like a long-time client. Yeah, you want to show up. That's kind of weird. Yeah. And I thought it was weird. I even, and I'm like, oh, you're just being, you're being judgmental. Like, this is how people operate who have a lot of money. You know, they don't care. So they just show up whatever, which it is kind of true. I mean, I don't look like that right now, but most of the time you see me out and about. Same here. You're like, you're like, good outfit and that's it. You're like, I'm in a workout outfit. It looks like I don't work, right? And then he gave me a whole stack of papers. I had a sign and I owned my part in it. I did not read through them because I had the story of, you're an idiot, you're not good at Matt. You need somebody else to

Starting point is 00:05:38 help you. I didn't know what the hell. They even said. It was intimidating and I felt like a sense of urgency because he was putting a lot of pressure on me. As by the way, guys, people who are scamming you do. Right. And I just fell for the pressure and he invested all that money in fake gold mines. But I signed everything. Oh, my God. And I lost everything. Wow. I didn't lose my house. Like I, but I came back to baseline. Wow. Of everything that I saved and worked that hard for. But ultimately it had to happen because that's what woke me up to see, oh my gosh, like something's really broken inside of me that. needs healing for something like this to happen. Yeah, it's so interesting that somebody can mentally be strong enough to acquire a million dollars and to be productive and to perform really well at work, but then not be able to actually like keep that success and not be mentally ready for that success. You see this a lot with athletes and actors and music artists and people

Starting point is 00:06:45 who win the lotto. I mean, the stat is 80% of people who win the lotto lose it within like 18 months. They even file for bankruptcy. Yeah. Because having the money, that's great. But like you said, you have to be able to not just be responsible with the money, but know how to hold that and feel good holding it. I felt bad having it. In fact, I felt terrible having it. I wanted it. I didn't want it. I didn't want it to go away. Yeah, you almost rejected it. I just felt so uncomfortable with it and a level of guilt for having it. Like, I didn't deserve it. Yeah. And how did you acquire that? That was with your agency business? That was in part with, I was in the pharmaceutical industry. So this was actually from my corporate jobs and me being in sales and saving. So this was before I even started a business.

Starting point is 00:07:39 Got it. So what came out of all of this and me going, okay, like, I want to accumulate my wealth back, was me starting a business, came out of that. I had all of this from truly, like, work in my sales game. Yeah. Right? And corporate. A lot of the way that we show up in the world has to do with what happened to us as children and teenagers, the way that we feel about money and our beliefs around money and also, like, our beliefs around our own self-worth.

Starting point is 00:08:08 So talk to us, and I know that this is like, you've got a really traumatic. past. So as much as you feel comfortable to share with us today. But talk to us about your childhood, the things that you went through, and then later how it showed up with how you treated money and how you even treated entrepreneurship and work and the way that you showed up in the world. So I was raised by an entrepreneur. What's interesting is my parents divorced at four. My dad was also an entrepreneur. He's the entrepreneur we want to be. She'll Coup DeVille. Okay. And he had holes in his pants and wore Velcro sandals. Very embarrassing to me as a kid. My mom is the narcissist and very showy, very loud, very flashy. My mom has an addiction to male attention among

Starting point is 00:09:01 other things. So starting from ages 11 all the way to 21, she pimped me out to people who worked for her, people who could benefit her in some way financially, including clients. And so because that was happening, and I had nowhere to turn, no one to go to, I'm an only child, both of my parents are only children. I had no access to anyone. And anyone who tried to say something, my mom eliminated. She wasn't famous, but she was, picture a smaller town, but when someone's very successful in that town, they have a lot of power. And no one wants to mess with them. Well, that was my situation. And so I had to learn how to survive in that setting and normalize it and stuff it.

Starting point is 00:09:52 Yeah. And one of the things that I told myself, like, you know, my child mind, which obviously is not accurate, is that I deserve. this, that I must look very, like, sexy and older than my age. And there's something about the way I look, but, like, men can't, like, stop themselves. And that this is just, like, the lot in life and God forgot about me. And I just have to, like, deal with it. Young improfitors, a few weeks ago, my main video editor put in his notice due to health concerns. Now, because it was an emergency and I wish him well, I was in a pickle. He was gone. and there was nothing I could do about it.

Starting point is 00:10:34 And so I was in full panic mode. The podcast still goes on. I still need promotional clips. I still have sponsors. I can't do this without a video editor. And so I was stressed, but I did what I always do. And we found an amazing replacement who's just as good as my previous editor, if not more talented. And I do what I always do.

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Starting point is 00:14:17 That's experience. com slash yap. You became an adult and you had this like false image and identity that you presented to the world. And it seemed like you had it all together and that everything was fine. And it was really you were like suppressing having to deal with what happened to you. So talk to us about how you showed up at work and what were some of the symptoms that that showed that you were really needing to release this trauma. What's interesting is I became a TV newscaster because I wanted to tell the truth. It's funny now to say that because we know the news is suss, right?

Starting point is 00:14:58 But I wanted to state the facts and people to hear me, which the fact I have a podcast, right? Yeah, you wanted a platform. That's not lost on me, right? That that's still in there. I mean, all the dots do start connecting when you get to a certain point in life. You're like, oh, that makes sense. But the wheels started falling off the bus when I had to do news stories on like gang rapes, on these horrible things happening.

Starting point is 00:15:26 And when I started getting more visit. as a newscaster, like, people recognized me at the grocery store and stuff like that. All I wanted to do was hide. I could barely keep it together to the point where I had to quit that career, because I felt like everyone could see my trauma, you know, that all the eyes were on me, that I wasn't going to be able to, like, keep up that facade. Like, people could see that I was basically a liar, that I was a fraud, that I wasn't, I wasn't this confident person I portrayed it be. And guess what? I wasn't. And I couldn't handle being in

Starting point is 00:16:04 that kind of spotlight. So that's when things really, really started being obvious. And then I quit. And I went to picking up dog poop and piss on Ventura Boulevard in Los Angeles from being on TV because I would not have been employable at that point. That's when all of the buried trauma came to the surface, and then I went into an outpatient program and started all the heavy healing work that had to be done. And so after that healing work completed, is that when you decided you were going to start your first company? I decided I had to start my first business from being in corporate and didn't matter that I was the number one salesperson. It didn't matter I was the number one sales trainer. I kept getting passed up for promotions. I was hitting. I was hitting.

Starting point is 00:16:56 a glass ceiling over and over again, and I would switch to a different company. Yeah. And thinking it would be different there. And maybe it's just this and maybe it's just that. And when you do things enough times and it doesn't work, at some point you're like, okay, like this is not meant for me. I was terrified.

Starting point is 00:17:14 I am not wired like most of your guests that you have on, like a typical entrepreneur. I call myself type C. I have complex PTSD. I'm not an organized person. And I am so rooted still to this day in a need for certainty that that has to be managed every hour of the day. There is very little certainty in entrepreneurship and in life, quite frankly. And so I have to monitor and manage that and overcome a lot to have even started it.

Starting point is 00:17:48 But what made me do it is I couldn't get to where I wanted to go. Like the route was closed for me. and I do believe spiritually that the universe, my higher power, closed it. Because I tried. I really tried. I mean, I like had a hammer out trying to break that. Yeah. And nothing worked to where it was like, okay, there's only one other route to go.

Starting point is 00:18:12 I got to do this thing for myself. Yeah. I mean, I had similar experiences too. I spent seven years in corporate before I became an entrepreneur. And in certain when I was younger, it was okay because like, I was an intern, then I got promoted and kept getting promoted. But then at a certain age, I looked younger than I really am. And I'm petite.

Starting point is 00:18:34 And that also has to do with that. And I'm really girly. At a certain point, it felt like I couldn't get to that next level. And as soon as I quit and, you know, started a personal brand and created my company, it was like all those glass ceilings to your point, like totally shattered. And I had complete control over how much money I wanted to make, how big I wanted to grow in my company. And so I do feel that this is a problem for women, and especially when they're like around 30 years old, because there's just, you know, I just feel like just so hard to get to that like C-suite level, executive level and like really make the type of money that a lot of us are hoping and dreaming of making.

Starting point is 00:19:11 Well, thank God it didn't work for you either. Yeah. And we're going to talk all about manifestation and all those kinds of things. But I want to keep learning about your story. So you ended up becoming an entrepreneur. Talk to us about some of the daily, like, fears that show up in everything that you do. And try to help people understand, like, if they're feeling similar fears, like, how do they actually combat it and still show up and be a good entrepreneur? I, A, was terrified to start it because no one would give me a loan because that was 18 years ago, you guys, for me.

Starting point is 00:19:46 So for me to have started a business in digital marketing 18 years ago and even as a business that didn't have like a brick and mortar office, you were unwell in the mind. And I had good credit. And it didn't matter. But thank God, because I had good credit, shout out American Express. That's truly, that's how I started my business. And I'm so grateful for that. And so there were extra layers. I had no parachute. And I am not putting anyone down who has a rich uncle or has a supportive family or a partner. You're very, very blessed. I didn't have that, which in a way is its own blessing because I really had to make sure I figured out a way to do this while I didn't, quite frankly, lose my ass and not be able to pay to live because I had nowhere to go. Yeah. So my approach, if someone was looking from the outside end, they'd go, oh, she's kind of conservative in her approach. Well, I am. I had to be. Now, was I probably conservative a bit to a fault for a long time to my detriment? Absolutely. But I also have to operate that way because I wanted to make sure it wasn't going to be on the streets. So I had those additional

Starting point is 00:21:09 fears going on that I had to manage because selling someone else's stuff when you work for someone else, I was internationally award-winning at that. Yeah. Selling my own stuff, my intellectual property, my services, that was not a shoe-in. And I was already well-known in my industry. They weren't cold leads. These were warm, even hot leads, like C-suite people picking up the phone for me, okay? Like the decision-maker.

Starting point is 00:21:39 I pitched 50 companies and I only got two clients. That's not good, by the way, guys. Talk to us about what went wrong. Like, what did you do wrong in those sales calls? I was thirsty. I was thirsty. And at that point in time, everyone has a tell. If you talk to someone who's a professional poker player,

Starting point is 00:22:03 I've interviewed some of these people, right? We all have a tell. It doesn't matter how much you try to control yourself, my tell in that environment at that time was over talking, overgiving, you know, because I didn't believe that I was enough. I believed I had to, you know, jump through hoops and do all these extra things to get your business because, hey, I'm just starting. So I've got to like really prove myself and just overly eager and it's not hot. And it comes at people, because I've been on the receipts.

Starting point is 00:22:39 end of it now, too. It comes at people like, whoa, like this is too much, this is a lot. And it also kind of makes you psychologically go, is this person kind of like desperate? Like maybe we should look at other, you know, agencies. Yeah, people want what they can't have. They want what's hard to access. And if you're like too accessible and just like giving, what's the catch. I was very accessible because think about going to. back to childhood. Not just what I was taught, what I was conditioned. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:23:14 No boundaries. And I had none. I thought the more open access to me, that would mean I would land the deal with these billion-dollar companies. Yeah. Right? Like, because I knew that these fancy marketing firms on Fifth Avenue weren't doing that. That was part of my selling point is that I'm a boutique agency.

Starting point is 00:23:35 And there is some truth to that and being the benefit. I just went too far with it, with everything, and think of all of those pitches that I lost as a result. And since then, thankfully, I've had the pleasure and the relationship of even laughing and talking to some of these people. And most of them don't remember. I think that's important for people to hear. Most of them don't remember. They don't even remember me pitching them. Meanwhile, like, you know, 10 years later.

Starting point is 00:24:06 You're like ruminating on it. Exactly. They have no recollection of it. But then a couple of them who did remember, right, like we could laugh about it now. And they reflected like, yeah, you were over the top was what they said. And I was. But that's why if we don't do that inner identity work, it ends up impacting our money, our success, even if you mean well, even if you're nice, even if you're accommodating. And I couldn't see what I couldn't see. That's why I'm such a believer in having mentorship and coaching and hiring experts and having a good team around you that just doesn't tell you yes. Because when you're standing in the picture, how can you see the whole frame? Meanwhile, I thought I nailed it, by the way. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. You're like, why aren't they email me back?

Starting point is 00:24:57 Exactly. There were a couple where I was like, I wasn't on my game, which we all have even to this day. Like, even when I do interviews, sometimes I'm like, oh, that wasn't my best. But no, most of it was, I don't understand. Like, why didn't I get this? I really couldn't. Young improfitors, a few weeks ago, my main video editor put in his notice due to health concerns. Now, because it was an emergency and I wish him well, I was in a pickle.

Starting point is 00:25:25 He was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. And so I was in full panic mode. The podcast still goes on. I still need promotional clips. I still have sponsors. I can't do this without a video editor. And so I was stressed, but I did what I always do. and we found an amazing replacement who's just as good as my previous editor, if not more talented.

Starting point is 00:25:44 And I do what I always do. I want to Indeed, sponsor jobs to find my candidate. Indeed, sponsor jobs makes finding qualified candidates so much easier because sponsored jobs boost your job post in the search results, helping you reach candidates who match the skills, certifications, or location that you're looking for. And if you're hiring too, you can join the 3.3 million employers worldwide that use Indeed to connect with quality talent that fits their needs. spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all of your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show, Young and Profiting,

Starting point is 00:26:20 will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help give your job the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now and support a show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need a hiring. hero, this is a job for indeed sponsored jobs. Young and Profiters. It's been over six years since I bet on myself and became a full-time entrepreneur. And if one of my friends came to me today and said, Hala, I'm starting a business, what do I actually need to get started? I would not advise them to start with a logo or a fancy website. You need to focus on the paperwork, the business address, the things that actually make you

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Starting point is 00:29:35 was totally different than your agency. You had a lot of people pleasing. Help us understand some of the things that you did wrong in your agency business versus how you show up in Project May. I built my agency business like I was an employee, meaning I made a lot more, but it was all dependent on me, me, me, me, me, just like a sales position is all, truly, like, you're only as good as your last sale. You're not selling.

Starting point is 00:30:07 You're not making your commission, right? But in entrepreneurship, that, like, devalues your company. Exactly. And I was so focused because I, again, tied money to my safety and security. Well, it has to be me. It has to be me. But at a certain point, there is no more of you. I created then my own glass ceiling.

Starting point is 00:30:29 And I couldn't get past, like, 250. to about 250 to 350 to 350 mark, and I see this commonly now when people come to me. It's a marker that I couldn't get past without completely frying myself out. I couldn't see a way around that until I was able to have someone who had more expansive thinking, much more my senior, who was able to say to me, you don't need to do more, you need to pull back and do less. And I was like, what? So I thought more is better. I mean, most of us were taught that. Yeah. More sales calls, more pitches. More offers. More offers. And now in like the social media age, like more post, doing more, showing up more, more, more, more, more, more. Well, not really. Not if it's not strategic. Because at some point, more of more is just more. It's not going to necessarily get you anywhere. And so I had to learn. what I now call our income and joy generating activities.

Starting point is 00:31:35 And I have to remind myself of this, I would say at least twice a week. Tiffany, stop focusing on all these 10 other things. That's not your job. What are your income and joy generating activities? Because I still will want to go do these things. I'd love for you to break that down for us. Like, how can you determine what are your income and joy activities? Is this something for income generating, I ask myself,

Starting point is 00:31:59 is this something that is directly tied to growing my business? That could be me interviewing people on my podcast. It could be me hiring or looking to hire people. It could be me creating social media videos because that's a major way, right? We market our brand and our business. It could be me floating in my pool, ideating on what it is that I want to do next and what I want to create. And is there something I feel called? to share about on the podcast. So that to me is directly tied to income. Stuff that isn't,

Starting point is 00:32:37 I'm not allowed to be in my emails. I get in trouble if I go in there. It's not good. Really? I have probably 220,000 unread emails. It doesn't matter. I don't need to be in there. I'm not allowed to go in Canva. Even though some of it can seem kind of fun to go in and play around. I'm not allowed to do the admin of booking guests, even if it's someone I know. I have to pass it off, even though in my head I'm going, isn't that kind of rude? Shouldn't I book them? This is someone I know. I've got to pass it all off to people. So that's the difference there. Joy generating, to me, is tied to income generating. If this isn't fun, what are we doing? Why is this happening? Yeah. And not that business is fun every day. It certainly isn't. But I can really suck the fun out of things if I'm

Starting point is 00:33:28 not careful as an entrepreneur. And I don't think that that's just me. And I've got to make a point of being playful and do creative things. And maybe it's going and having a cocktail with a friend. Maybe it's me walking on the beach. I've gotten into diamond art recently because I like bedazzling everything. That's so cute. Right? And that's, and that's, and that's, and That then opens me up. It removes that kind of needy, thirsty, controlling energy, which is so repelling. And it brings me back to an abundant state. Yeah. Also, that feeling of like, I have enough and there's enough coming to me and I can have fun and be present. I feel like there's a lot of entrepreneurs that just feel like, oh, I just have to keep working, working, working for what? If you're not going to sit back and have fun once in a while. Yeah, I agree. People pleasing can really hurt entrepreneurs, and I've heard you say that people pleasing is lying.

Starting point is 00:34:26 I'd really love to understand why you feel that people pleasing is also lying in your opinion. When I first had a mentor of mine tell me that, I was horrified, I was offended, I was disgusted, because I prided myself on being someone of high integrity, who's a no-b-s-person. And it is lying because we are lying in order to manage and manipulate getting what we need, whether it's someone to move a couch for us, someone to connect us with someone we want to get connected to, to get the sale, to have someone like us in a friendship or relationship, and I did it all the time. I would lie about in dating, they'd be like, oh, let's go get Indian food.

Starting point is 00:35:21 Even if I had no desire for Indian food that night, oh, that sounds great. And I would go and do that. Or if it was a potential client that wanted to meet in a location that I didn't really love meeting in, maybe it was too loud. I didn't, I said, whatever you want. And it's not true. Yeah. I am lying to people. or me not saying and setting boundaries with people who work for me personally and professionally.

Starting point is 00:35:50 That's me lying about my own needs and my standards to someone else. And eventually what that leads to is seething resentment and anger towards your business, towards those people, and feeling depleted because I'm twisting myself in a nod over here. Meanwhile, you're getting whatever you want. Well, I caused it. Yeah, it's your fault. And I didn't know. I didn't realize that because I was conditioned to also do that.

Starting point is 00:36:20 My needs didn't matter. All that mattered with me growing up is that I did whatever I had to do to keep my mom happy. There wasn't an option for my needs. Yeah. Maybe if I was hungry, like some baseline options may be mattered, but the rest of it didn't matter. And that stuff left unaddressed bleeds into your business. faster than people realize. In fact, people listening right now, I would say you're leaving millions of dollars on the table by not having stuff addressed that you've been carrying

Starting point is 00:36:57 from childhood. I have so many ways I want to like go, but why don't we address what you just said? Because there's child things that come up. And then there's also like your teenager in herself, which I never really heard about, which I think is really interesting. Because for me, I feel like I don't really have much childhood stuff, but I bet you there's a lot of like teenage inner self that comes out in how I act present day. Talk to us about the difference between the two and what are some common things that come up for entrepreneurs?

Starting point is 00:37:27 When you really tap into your body, and this might not happen like literally while you're listening to this, you need to go for a walk, which I teach this thing called taking abundance walks to get yourself back in your body. Your inner child often is like having a tantrum. It's truly like an inner child. Like you have a six-year-old, what they want,

Starting point is 00:37:51 they want it now, they're scared, they get frozen. An inner teenager operates differently. My inner teenager, you know, I'll fight you, you know. I'll fight you. I can be very cunning. I can be, there's a vindictive, like I'll vindictive thoughts. My inner teen can have comparison and jealousy.

Starting point is 00:38:17 So I've learned that over time identifying, where is this feeling or this desire or this behavior of mine, even a habit? Where is this stemming from? Which version of me? Is this coming from like 15-year-old Tiff? Or is this coming from little Tiffy? What's going on?

Starting point is 00:38:37 Because it's coming from one of the two. And when you see it showing up, What is like an exercise you can do to get back into your present self and your adult self and kind of zoom out of all of it? The fastest way I've found is talking to that inner teen, inner child sometimes it's both together, which starts making you feel like you're a loony tunes. Okay. And speaking as you wish you were spoken to when you were a kid. You know, I would have loved to have had, you know, like a cool auntie when I was a teen and be like, listen, girl, like this stuff's scary that's going on right now. And businesses have ups and downs.

Starting point is 00:39:23 Just look at the stock market. You're not doing anything wrong. This is part of the ride. It's kind of like a wave. You've got to ride it. And I know it's insane, but it's worth doing. And I believe in you and you've got this. I would have died to have had that, right?

Starting point is 00:39:40 Yeah. But saying you wouldn't say that to like a little kid. You know, a little kid is, what do you need right now? Do you want to hug, reminding them, I love you, what, you know, and give them what they need. Sometimes for me, it's like I need to eat. Sometimes it's I need a nap. Sometimes, and usually my inner child's going, I don't want to be around anybody. I hate everybody.

Starting point is 00:40:04 That's okay. Let's hang out for a while and let's just do our own thing and put the phone down and have our own space and time and actually meeting your own needs versus kind of ignoring that inner teen or inner child. Like, okay, like, I get it. We'll deal with that later. Well, now you're self-abandoning. And it doesn't work. Why it doesn't work in the moment you might be able to get away with it. but it shows up as excess weight.

Starting point is 00:40:36 It shows up as exhaustion. It shows up as autoimmune issues. It shows up as you being lashing out to people in your life. It shows up as brain fog. It shows up in a million different ways. So we can't get away with not doing it. But usually people have to get to a certain point of pain before they'll do that level of inner work.

Starting point is 00:40:58 Because pain's a beautiful thing. I mean, I don't really love being in it. but it is there because it propels us to take action. I mean, I didn't start my first business out of feeling great that I kept hitting the glass ceiling. It was out of pain. It was out of discomfort. Same here. As you were talking, something that came up for me was Benjamin Hardy has been on my show multiple times,

Starting point is 00:41:22 and he's, like, amazing. And he told me this line that I didn't forget that basically, like, in order to show up, like, really productive and, like, 10 extra life and whatever. you need to have a happy past and a hopeful future. And he recommends that anything negative in our past, we try to reframe and get the positive out of it and try not to tell us like the negative story. But when I hear your story and like the fact that your mother sex trafficked you,

Starting point is 00:41:54 it's like how can you reframe that like necessarily as a happy past, right? There's certain things that happen with me like getting like fired when I worked for free for three years. like that is something that's like not as traumatic. I can reframe it into something positive and like move forward from it. How have you taken your past trauma and for anybody listening who's had like significant trauma? What advice do you have for them to let go of their past to a degree so that they can like move on from it and have a hopeful future and not let the past be like holding them back? Well one, I appreciate you asking the question and understanding the nuance. This is why I always say like attracts like and why so many of the listeners on my

Starting point is 00:42:38 podcast, I would say 99% have gone through trauma because the things I speak about are trauma informed. Yeah. So that was a very trauma-informed question. So I appreciate that. Being in our victiminess, right, I could have easily done that. And guess what? Everyone would have given me a pass. Everybody. Oh, that makes sense why she's not doing anything with her life. Easy pass, no doubt about it. I wouldn't have had a pass in that. Do I go back and say, oh, I'm so glad that that happened to me? Absolutely not. I would do anything to be able to have a loving mother. I'd do anything for my father to be alive right now, of course. But I do believe that all of that what happened to me, as horrible as it is,

Starting point is 00:43:32 and even though I don't wish it on anybody, is that there is a divine calling for it. And the divine calling is that now I help build safe houses for women and children who've been sex trafficked. I open up a conversation around topics that a lot of people don't want to talk about. don't maybe want to hear about or maybe aren't qualified to talk about it. And I make people feel less alone in the dark. So I look at it like there is a calling. There's a deep, you've had people on your shows who are sober. They used, you know, you've had a lot of people who've gone through stuff. And there is a deeper calling that perhaps I was meant to be the lighthouse for people. and that's why this happened.

Starting point is 00:44:23 So it helps me make sense of it, but I had to go to a spiritual place to get to it, not a logical place. That was super powerful, and thank you so much for sharing that. To go back to the business perspective, compare and contrasts like the way that you operated your agency versus the way that you operate Project Me today.

Starting point is 00:44:44 Like what boundaries have you put in place with Project Me so that you are not operating from your inner child or your inner teen, and then also your people-pleasing doesn't, like, show up. So it is completely different. One, it's a different business model, right? So my agency is all B2B. And you still have that agency, right? Yes, I still have it. So it's all B2B. That's like a fine-oiled machine now. I'm not focused on growing that. Instead, I put my growth into Project Me. But it was rules to start with. But you can also do a flip, if you're not. You can also do a flip, if you already have a business, because I did that with the agency, too. I had to.

Starting point is 00:45:25 So you can have your own reorg. I don't care if you have three people working for you, you have 300 or you have zero. Or it's just, you know, it's just you. You can also fire yourself and then hire a new version of yourself. I love that. That's what I had to do. I fired myself and I made a non-negotiable list and it doesn't need to, it should not be a long list. And nothing could come. in front of my mental or physical or spiritual well-being again, period, end of story. That had to come first, hence the name Project Me, because you are the most exceptional project of your life. I was always taught it was selfish to put ourselves first.

Starting point is 00:46:09 I know a lot of us were taught that. You know, that's not being a loving, giving person and all that other nonsense. Well, we have to put ourselves first in order to serve at our greatest level. So that is what I've modeled with Project Me. So most of my days do not start until 11 or 12 p.m. in terms of work. And that was from the beginning. So it wasn't like, oh, that's nice. She probably hustled 14 hours a day.

Starting point is 00:46:35 And now she's at that point, no. But it's important to hear this. Could I have grown so much faster, so much quicker, if the old Tiffany started Project Me? absolutely, but I wasn't willing to pay that price because it does come at a price. Yeah, it does. And I wasn't willing to do it. I didn't think I would survive it. So I also had to manage expectations and what that would look like. So when I would watch people and now they're launching this, and now they've got their third book out. And there was the old part of me that's like comparing.

Starting point is 00:47:13 Right, like comparing and they have so much energy. And I want to do that. And I like was grieving that old Tiffany who operated that way. So I had to remind myself, we're not doing things that way anymore. It doesn't work. And what ended up happening as a result is I had so much success, so much faster because I was honoring myself first. But I didn't know it was going to work that way. I had no evidence that that was going to be the thing. Maybe people felt like the truth vibrating from you that like it was like a new confidence because you were actually operating based on what you wanted and not what other people wanted from you. Yeah, and I think there was also that ease, and there really was genuine from the day one,

Starting point is 00:47:58 true self-esteem, something I say is ZFG, you know, zero F's given, right? Like that, you can tell that about me, and that was sincere from the beginning, and I think there wasn't much of that at the time, and there still really isn't that much of it. Like, your show is one of the only shows I listen to, by the way. Oh, thank you. Because a lot of it is fluff. They don't ask these deeper questions. And I'm always blown away, like, why do so many people listen to this?

Starting point is 00:48:27 But that's a whole other story. But people crave that realness, that rawness, and that centered and groundedness that I now have. But, man, I worked my ass off to have this. I mean a lot of time and energy. This reminds me of a quote that you say that your self-worth is your net worth. Yeah. Why do you believe that's true? Because without self-worth, you sell your soul and you start doing things or you avoid doing things that would get you to where you want to go so much faster.

Starting point is 00:49:03 And when you're operating out of a point of trusting your inner guide, trusting yourself, honoring yourself, giving yourself grace when you make mistakes. I make mistakes all the time. Not everything I touch turns to gold, right? I make horrible. I invested almost a million dollars last year. I don't have any return on that. Right? Like, yeah.

Starting point is 00:49:27 I give myself grace for that, and that's okay. You know, and then that gives other people permission, like, oh, I don't have to have it all together. I don't have to be perfect in every which way for this to pay off. and it does end up attracting more opportunities, more people. I wouldn't allow myself to be this visible on platforms, therefore I wouldn't have the visibility as the old Tiffany. Yeah, because you didn't want to be on TV.

Starting point is 00:49:58 You quit your job to be on TV, and now you're back on social every day, showing your face. Exactly. And I wanted to hide from the world. I mean, there was a period of time where I gained a lot of weight, which for me was a form of hiding and wearing like oversized clothes to now I want to be seen, but not from an ego perspective, from more of a platform connection perspective. Well, I learned when I was reading about you this morning that you had the idea for Project Me for 10 years. And you actually thought about it when you were recovering from a spinal injury from over.

Starting point is 00:50:39 over-exercising. You didn't tell that story. Yeah, I picked clever addictions. I did not, substances did not catch on for me, although I tried those. So I picked workaholism and exercise addiction, which is a form of an eating disorder. So anyone who remembers, like, those kickboxing classes where it was like, burn $1,300 or whatever. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I do have a solid, like, roundhouse, so be careful.

Starting point is 00:51:06 But that was my addiction, and I literally would go out and party and then go take class. I had sunglasses on in Los Angeles, like at the gym, and then I blew out my spine. So I had the vision and the idea, even the colors, even an early drawing of the logo of Project Me, but I was so filled with all of my own self-doubt. Who do you think you are? Because it wasn't about afraid of being. an entrepreneur. I already was one and a successful one. It wasn't about that. This was doing what I really wanted to do, what I was meant to do, and what sounded like, oh, my God, I get to be paid to do this. Like, I was like, who's going to listen to me? At that time, I was like, you can listen to like Tony Robbins. So I had that going on in my head, right? Like, you go listen

Starting point is 00:51:59 to like Oprah. Yeah. I'm nobody. And then I went down the path of my looks, because when I I started my show at the end of 2018, a lot of the people online, none of them look like me. They were all super skinny, blonde, bopping around Bali influencers. And I was like, well, I don't look like that. So then no one's going to watch me. No one's going to watch me. So all those excuses and nonsense I hear from people, it doesn't work with me because I've already told myself all that. And before you know it, one year, went to three, went to five, went to eight, and when it hit 10 years, and I never lost the idea. It might not have been there every day, but maybe I'd be scrolling and it would come up. Maybe I would just be sitting and laying out, and it would come up.

Starting point is 00:52:52 Maybe it would come in a dream of mine, and I would still create another story. Once I have this many million saved, I'll do that. Oh, if I amassed this amount of money, I'd do it after I get through this busy period at work, then I'll do that. There was always if and when, if and when, and I finally got to a point when I realized, because I found an original sketch. I was probably on pain medication also at the time, but I found an original sketch of Project Me in one of my journals, and it was dated, And I went, oh my God, it's been 10 years. It's kind of like having like a powerful birthday, you know, or an anniversary of something to wake you up going, oh, my God, I had no idea. This is how long I've been carrying this dream and have done nothing.

Starting point is 00:53:46 I shouldn't say nothing. I was the person, which is funny because now people do it with my stuff, who bought like a course here and there. I would join, you know, like a program, but I wouldn't complete it. Yeah, you never actually like launched. I didn't implement. Yeah. I might have, I was the student because being a student and learning is very safe. That's not scary.

Starting point is 00:54:08 The scary is like implementing what you've learned. So I was, you know, the toe dipper. And I finally just decided. And I know that's an annoying answer for people. Like, well, what happened? What changed? I decided. You were ready.

Starting point is 00:54:24 You must have been like mentally ready. to do it. I was disgusted with myself, honestly. I was horrified that something that I wanted to do, which is a beautiful thing, that I was resisting doing because I was afraid it wasn't going to work or that I was going to look stupid or what people were going to think of me. And it was like, that's not who I am. And that's not who I want to be. And I'm just not going to do that anymore. And if it doesn't work, it's okay. So this is the experiment. The experiment is, okay, you have a year. Give yourself a year. And it doesn't mean it has to like take off in that year. But if there is no solid growth after a year, then you can revisit and decide if you quit or you keep going. But you've got to give it a year. That was my commitment. So you told yourself, I'm going to start this podcast for a year. I'm not going to attach it to like my identity, I guess, by saying that it's a year. experiment first. And then I love that advice for people who are out there. There's probably so many of you guys listening that have a dream that you've been sitting on for years. Give yourself like a

Starting point is 00:55:37 time period that you're going to go out and do it. I've got friends that want to start podcasts and don't start them. And I think part of the reason why is because if they fail, they feel like it's going to be really embarrassing that people are going to be like, so what happened with your podcast? And then like, oh, like it didn't work out. How can somebody get over that feeling? And what advice do you have for people who feel scared to get started because if it fails, they have to, like, address the failure? I can actually get into a little of that now, now that I have success, right? Because then it becomes a different level of, I know there's more eyes watching me.

Starting point is 00:56:16 So, oh, let's see, you know, how Tiffany does in her launch. Oh, let's see what, oh, what guest does she have on? Or how does this, you know, how does this do? So I can get into my head now. But in the beginning, I told almost nobody. I had to learn that the hard way. I was excited once I finally decided. And like a little kid, I told people, and then people projected their own fears on me.

Starting point is 00:56:43 I have someone who is now, I will not say their name, who is a pretty big podcaster, who I told who I thought was very safe to tell, who said there's no money in podcasting. It's a waste of your time. Oh, man. This is very comical. This is very comical to me now. So I would say be more discerning. You also don't have to tell anyone.

Starting point is 00:57:05 You can also block people in your family because it's usually people you know. Did you like start a different account that no, none of your friends? I didn't have social media. I started, I started my podcast with nothing. Like I went the opposite of what most people do where they have a built up following somewhere. I did the opposite. I started the show first. So what I told myself is, first of all, no one knows who I am.

Starting point is 00:57:29 And no offense, you guys, no one knows who you are either, right? And no one's paying attention either. Like, very rarely are people like really paying attention to what you do. Yeah, I mean, not at this point. You know, I'm not like a Kardashian, right? So no one's paying attention. Also, yeah, it is uncomfortable and embarrassing if something didn't work, but isn't it more embarrassing to not.

Starting point is 00:57:53 even try when it's something that you want. I'd be more embarrassed for myself because embarrassment's really shame. I would feel more shame to not pursue something that was on my heart for this long that I want to pursue and continue to avoid it and make excuses. That's gross. Yeah. Than to actually go and attempt and try to do the thing. But it's a really real feeling. And my show, it's not like I have some glorious story that in three months, I was on the top of the charts, and that's not how it went. But there was that steady growth. And it was like, okay, but yeah, you know, it's like I probably had like three listeners.

Starting point is 00:58:38 Well, that's amazing. I mean, that's three more people that were listening before. Yeah. What is your business model with Project Me Today? So you've got your podcast and what else does it entail that brand? So I have the ecosystem that all feeds off of you. each other is I have a business coaching academy. So primarily I teach my emotional-based sales techniques. I teach how to sell in a way that feels genuine and good to you and to others, like with no

Starting point is 00:59:09 manipulative tactics in the way that I had to learn how to sell in order for it to work for me. And so I teach a lot of that and profitable content creation. So things that are naturally in my wheelhouse that I'm excellent at. So then people buy my various programs, they buy courses, they buy high-level coaching from me. And I do my own promotion on my own podcast. I used to have sponsors, but I make a lot more money promoting my own stuff, at least as how my model is right now. Yeah. So that's my main form of advertising along with content. And so I do speaking and I have different I have different revenue streams. So a great way to look at it is

Starting point is 00:59:55 where the personal brand is, you have a department store. So Project Me with Tiffany Carter, like is the name on the store like a Nordstrom's. Well, Nordstroms has what, lingerie, shoes, makeup. You have different departments. Did all those departments exist from day one? No.

Starting point is 01:00:13 They build on each other. Look at Allo. Allo has shoes now, right? They didn't always have shoes. They add on, right? different departments within the brand. Based on what their audience needs and want. Exactly.

Starting point is 01:00:26 So mine evolves based on what my people believe they need and want. And also what I want to experiment with. So I do a lot of hedging. I'll put out there what I know is the candy that people want. But then I'll also experiment with something that like sounds really fun and exciting to me because then if it fails, I'm still okay. Yeah, give me an example of that. So I'm doing it right now.

Starting point is 01:00:55 I know that before I go to launch something, I'm putting together a paid for where you're buying a ticket to an online event that I'm doing. Okay? I really like an online thing as an introvert versus an in-person event. I've never done that before. Have I seen people do versions of it? Yes. Have I seen anyone do it in the way that I have this idea for? No, that's an experiment. There's no real proof of concept, but I have an idea. So because I'm going to be

Starting point is 01:01:28 investing money and time and energy into it, I want to hedge and make sure that I am focusing on promoting something that already works, that people already pay for and bring in an influx of cash so that if this thing flops, we're still rolling in it over here. Yeah, I do the same thing. I'm just like, I know exactly. Exactly what you mean. It's like being able to have like a budget of money that you can just experiment with and see if it works. So I found you from Instagram and a lot of your reels have went viral and something that's really unique about you is that you talk a lot about entrepreneurship, but you also talk a lot about spirituality and astrology. And I find that really interesting because I interview celebrities and billionaires and like usually they're not talking to me about mercury and retrograde or portals or something. some of the stuff that you talk about on Instagram. And I think that there's a lot that we can learn. I'm somebody who really believes in like manifestation and positivity and optimism.

Starting point is 01:02:30 And I truly believe that one of the reasons why I have one of the biggest podcast networks in the world is because I spoke it out to the world when I first started podcasting. And it was a dream that I always had. And it just like happened super organically. And sometimes it feels like I tried really hard. But at the same time, I didn't try hard. Everything like kind of like came to me. and I think it's because I was so positive and optimistic about this dream that, like, it had to be for me, you know? And so, first of all, I'm curious to understand.

Starting point is 01:03:01 Let's start with manifestation. And then I want to get to some, like, definitions because, like, I'm not an expert in this space. But let's start with manifestation. Like, how do you feel about manifestation? You talked about abundance walks. I'd love to learn more about that, too. I've been practicing and studying manifestation law of attraction. since I lost all of that money at 30 years old.

Starting point is 01:03:24 That's when I knew I had a problem with money, with success. I had done like a lot of people had done and they read, you know, the secret and they had some entryway into it. But I was able to be attached to that and be able to hear that really quickly. It really resonated with me. and I was starting to understand how this stuff works. And so that's why I teach it in all of my stuff. So it's not about like, oh, I just, but you're right that you said.

Starting point is 01:04:00 I just spoke it into existence. It happens. Well, you also have to actively manifest. There's passive manifesting, visualization and all of that stuff, but actively manifesting, acting as though the damn thing is happening. And it's uncomfortable. But then that's what makes the thing happen because you're anchoring it in with action. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:04:22 So I'm a big proponent of that. What's funny when you say, you know, the billionaires and all these people you've interviewed, all of those people that I've had the privilege of being in boardrooms with, on airplanes with, wherever with. A lot of them are all into this stuff. Yeah. Well, they're into manifestation, I guess more so what I meant is like the astrology part of it. They don't really, or they don't talk about it at least. A lot of them are, like, to your point, all the billioners I've talked to, they're extremely positive and they're really, they really stress the importance of, like, the words that you say and, like, the words that you think and how you believe in, like, your belief system and everything like that.

Starting point is 01:05:04 So totally agree with you on that. So let's talk about some of these terms that I, that I hear about on social media from you. So you call this the fire horse year. Yeah. Yeah, so this is Chinese astrology. This is nothing that I made up. This only happens once every 60 years. Last year was so insane for me, and I'm talking like went through an ego death.

Starting point is 01:05:29 What do I mean by that, where you are humbled beyond humbled and you are forced into a new identity that you've been resisting? This has happened to me other times in my life. last year was insane. I decided, as I do, to be very uncomfortable and vulnerable, and I just shared about it. And it turns out there were tons of people. And then the more I peeled back the layers, I find out the numerology tied to it and that we were in a snake here, which is about shedding and going into a firehorse year, which is about going full-blown towards what we're meant to go towards. And it's really uncomfortable and it's really intense because all the things you have to release are going to be brought to the surface and in your face so you're forced to do something about it.

Starting point is 01:06:20 And it was validating everything I was experiencing and so many other people. And I genuinely believe from a spiritual place, those of us who are awake and have so much good to do in the world, we're having like a grand rising, a grand awakening. But it's also incredibly uncomfortable. And there's a reason why we're feeling this intense energy right now and even that feeling of, but I'm not sure what to do with it or where to go with it. It's a lot. It's like holding back a racehorse. You can no longer hold back going after the thing that you want to go after, going to that next level.

Starting point is 01:07:01 You just can't anymore. And you've got to go there. And it is a big undertaking and it sounds wild and it sounds whack. But obviously, millions of things. people resonated with that. Yeah. There's a bigger force at play here. Whatever it is you believe in, it's well beyond us.

Starting point is 01:07:19 Yeah. More than I believe that we all realize, and I'm going with it. Okay, so we're in this firehorse year, which is basically pushing us towards, I guess, our destiny, like what we're truly supposed to be doing. And part of that is there's going to be identity shifts. And you talk about this ego death, which I just think is like such an interesting concept. And I think it's like a quantum ego death. I mean, I like that term.

Starting point is 01:07:44 Yeah, we're in order to quantum jump, some people say quantum leap, I exchange the two back and forth, you have to step into a new identity. So when you went from being, you know, the corporate version of you to the entrepreneur version of you, that is a different person. That is a different identity. You quantum jumped there. So you can't quantum jump. jump without having an identity shift. We have about five to seven identity shifts in a lifetime.

Starting point is 01:08:16 Maybe you're someone who went from not having kids to now being a mom. That is an identity shift in of itself, right? So those things require us to let go of so much deep stuff. Yeah. And in order to let go of that stuff that's subconscious, the icky, sticky stuff that's holding us back, we have to be humbled beyond belief. Hence an ego death. The ego is what's holding us back. You can't do that. Who do you think you are? What will so-and-so think? That has to die off in order for you to move forward. And that doesn't mean all of your stuff dies off at once. But mine, and I'm being really raw here, you guys. Yeah, tell us. I had my most successful, profitable year of my entire life in 2024. I'm talking printing money, like with the most ease to where I started

Starting point is 01:09:18 to go, is this real? Right. Well, that's, now we're in, that's interesting territory in of itself. The clock struck midnight in 2025, and it was like someone turned the faucet off. My ego did not like this because the story I was telling myself is, oh my gosh, all of my hard work paid off. I don't really ever have to work again. You know, all those stories. Yeah. I had a lot of, which I didn't realize, my self-worth and value was being tied to my level of financial success. And I didn't know how much. I didn't know how much until it was stripped away, thankfully, temporarily. And that put me into an ego death. So some people go through a shocking divorce.

Starting point is 01:10:10 Some people get, I think when I got fired from my radio station job, that was like totally, because my whole identity was wrapped into working at this really popular radio station, and I was Hala from Hot 97. And like, I really had a big ego death. And it was, there's a lot of mourning in that. Oh, yeah, I mean, I was on my knees. I was, I realized at a certain point, because I'd been here before, I've coached people through this stuff. You know, it happens to public figures. And some of them will talk about it, like where their next album came from. Or they put out their third book. You know, nothing took off in that book. And, but their identity as being a best-selling author. So you're having to have that ego separate from your true self because that's not our value. that's external stuff. And I didn't realize I was so attached to that.

Starting point is 01:11:05 I would have liked to have thought I was completely detached. But that's what happens before we have a quantum jump, is we have to get stripped down, like a bow and arrow being pulled back. We got to get stripped down to spring to our next level. And it's excruciating. Why is it called like quantum leap, quantum jump? I think it's a take on like quantum physics,

Starting point is 01:11:29 neuroscience, the fact that we play with energy, and that we're all energy beings, and there's a greater play at work here. You know, there's something that's in these, so to speak, 5D that has an energetic pull of pulling us forward, which I would have laughed, by the way, at this stuff, even probably six years ago. I would have had a character and imitated me. In fact, I have had a that imitated the stuff I talk about now. Because it sounded kind of whack-a-do. Yeah. Until you go through it and you start seeing, oh, wow.

Starting point is 01:12:11 Like, there is really a greater play at work and things that are beyond my control. And everything really is happening for me, even the really dark, horrible stuff. Either way, I feel like it's a positive way to look at. change. There's a lot of benefit in thinking that this is a year that I'm going to go tackle my dreams or even this is a year that I'm supposed to shed the bad, except if you use it as an excuse to actually like hold you back. So what are some ways that people use these types of things like mercury and retrograde? What is that? And how can people actually end up using that as a way to procrastinate? And how can you use these things as a way to be productive instead?

Starting point is 01:12:54 I mean, our brains are very clever and manipulative. If someone wants, to not do something. Remember, it took me 10 years to start Project Me. We can come up with anything. Oh, Mercury's in retrograde, which is where everything gets wacky, communication, tech breaks, relationships fall off. I think it happens like four times a year or something, right? Three or four times a year. I don't claim to be an expert in that. I think it's three or four times a year. So yeah, there's three or four times a year that you can make excuses. Some people use their own sign. Like I'm a Virgo. I can use a a lot of things as an excuse as a Virgo because we're nuts, right? It's like people will use their eneagram or their human design, any of that stuff as an excuse if you want to make an excuse.

Starting point is 01:13:40 So some of it is true. It's at play, right? So this stuff is at play. There's things that are going on. What's your sign? I'm a tourist. Oh, we're very compatible, by the way. Oh, cool. So we can say, right, there are elements of being a tourist that are. true about you. But that's, it's just an element. It's an interesting point that doesn't define you. I would check in with yourself and go, am I, is this a clever excuse? Because there's always a way. I mean, if I found a way with all the stuff that I've gone through, I promise you there's a way. But our egos will come up with the most insane, convincing, clever excuses when we're terrified of doing something to the point of where years go by. Yeah. And it happens in our personal lives, too.

Starting point is 01:14:34 Mm-hmm. We can talk ourselves into anything and out of anything. So what are we doing here? Is this really supporting me? I would only use these things as tools to support you. Yeah. Like, how can you take whatever you learn about astrology and ensure that it's helping you, like, accomplish your goals? What is Mercury in retrograde? Like, you talked about it a little bit, but what is it exactly? What I believe it is here for us is to expose and bring to the surface what we're not seeing and what we no longer want to tolerate. So it could be boundaries. It could be clients you've been hanging on to just for money, but you really don't want to have that kind of client anymore. It could be offers in your business that no longer feel fun or feel good, but again, you're hanging on to them because you're

Starting point is 01:15:26 feel like you have to. And so it brings things to our faces that we're forced to see. How does it do that? A lot of people feel exhausted. They get sick. Plans cancel. So you end up spending more time in stillness, more time alone, because that's when the truth comes out. Not when we're distracted, not when we're working, not when we're working out, not when we're doing chores. It comes when we are at Bay when we are at rest. That's why we have our best ideas, like, in the shower or taking a walk. Right. Or on vacation. And it's also where the most healing happens. And this is why so many people avoid being without headphones in, with having that time to be with themselves, to journal that's undistracted without the phone in their hand, because that's when all of our feelings come up. But that's

Starting point is 01:16:19 the stuff that needs to come up in order for you to shed that old. identity and be able to define the new one you're stepping into. I spent years avoiding doing all this. Like, anytime at a therapist who told me to journal, I was like, this person's fired. I don't have time to journal. Right? And it's really because the truth came out when I journaled. The real raw truth of how I was feeling and what I really wanted in my life because I was in analog mode sitting there with myself. And that's what Mercury Retrograde calls us to do,

Starting point is 01:16:57 which is why all the wildness occurs and why it's so uncomfortable. If Mercury and RetroGade is happening, is your guidance then to make sure that you have moments of stillness of thought to understand like how you pivot with anything that's happening

Starting point is 01:17:13 in your life right now? I would ask the question with stuff that's going on. It's usually repeated stuff. It's also common to have a lot more money going out than coming in during that time. What is this trying to show me? What is Mercury Retrograde trying to teach me right now?

Starting point is 01:17:33 You can also do this at any other time of the year when you keep getting whacked in a certain area of your life. The universe, your higher power, is trying to get your attention with something, even if it's a physical illness or pain. What is this trying to show me? what is this trying to get me to pay attention to? You might not get the answer right away, but you've planted the seed, just like when you're ideating something for a business.

Starting point is 01:17:59 You're not going to necessarily get it while you're like sitting there with your laptop. Yeah. But you've put it out there and it'll come to you. You'll get some kind of a sign. Maybe this episode is that for some people listening. So we talked about quantum jumping, quantum leaping, which is essentially, like, transitioning to a new identity. But there's a pre-period called quantum crumble that I learned about for me. What is quantum crumble? Oh, it's the, it's the worst. It's what happened when I was saying in 2025, where everything feels like it's crumbling. And I need to say that word, because it's not, it really isn't. Was I destitute? You know, like it wasn't really crumbling, but it feels like.

Starting point is 01:18:44 like you're in a thousand pieces and you're humpty-dumpty and you're never getting put back together again. And that is the crumbling of the old self. And that's when most people quit. That's when most people go, oh, this is proof, evidence. It's the opposite of getting a sign from the universe, right? Oh, this is a sign from the universe telling me I shouldn't do the thing. I shouldn't start. I shouldn't go after this, whatever it may be.

Starting point is 01:19:11 And that's not what's happening. What's happening is you are being stripped. You are being repositioned to propel forward into a quantum jump. This is not saying what you're doing isn't working. It's to redirect you in a way that's actually better. We don't know what's best. And this is a Virgo saying this, and I think I know everything, right? Like, we don't know what is best for us.

Starting point is 01:19:41 there is a higher source involved that ultimately knows, in my opinion. I do not feel like it's Tiffany Carter. I know everything that's best for me in my life. Obviously not. I had to hit the glass ceiling. I would have never started a business ever in a million years if that hadn't have happened. So part of this is manifesting your future identity, right? Visualizing your future identity and who you want to be and what you want to accomplish so that you can make this transformation, right? So help us understand how you manifest and what are some of the tactics that you do to visualize and manifest your life? It's changed over time. I used to be more of the vision board person, the person who had the crystals, read all of the books, you know, spoke it into the universe. And I still do some of that. What I focus on now is manifesting through.

Starting point is 01:20:39 my body, I can tend to be heavy above the neck, an overthinker, an overanalyzer, obviously a talker. And that's nice. But if my nervous system is not bought into the manifestation that it's actually available and possible for me, it doesn't matter how much I tell myself up here, it's going to happen. So that's when I started doing the abundance, walks. I go for a walk. This can be, you know, I have abundance walks that are guided meditation things for people that are free you guys can get. But I'll sometimes go with just music or with nothing and I make a point of looking around me of evidence of abundance and releasing during that walk the stuff that I have resistance, my fears and allowing that to release to get myself back into the

Starting point is 01:21:39 state that I call the abundance zone from being in fear and scarcity. What are you saying to yourself on these walks? Like to release that fear, you're like, I release X, Y, Z. Like, what do you say to yourself? My, probably my number one thing I say is I'm safe and I'm secure. I'm supported at all times over and over again. And I release what no longer is serving me, even if that's uncomfortable. And I trust that's making space for the abundance that's to come.

Starting point is 01:22:09 I will also ask a lot of times during the walk, I have to be careful not to get greedy with it, but I will ask the universe for a sign that I'm headed in the right direction of where I'm wanting to go, and please make it clear and please make it pleasant. And as long as I'm not scanning for the sign, which my ego can do, but I've truly let that go. there will be something that ends up happening at some point in the next 48 hours where it's like, wow, okay, I hear you. I got it. And it might not always be what I want to hear. Can you give us an example of that happening? It just happened to me recently. So I went to one of my client's weddings. This invite got lost in the mail. She was like, oh, I can't believe Tiffany's not RSVP. Thankfully, she texted me. You guys don't do your wedding invites in calligraphy, by the way. Apparently, the U.S. Postal Office does not read calligraphy well.

Starting point is 01:23:13 Yeah, I could see that happening. So this wedding, which I was not aware of, was on this, like, gorgeous private island. I had no idea where I was going. I had a lot of uncertainty about where I was going. I felt safe and secure, but I wasn't clear. Yeah. And I was really looking for clarity in a particular area of my life. So I went for a walk on the beach and I asked the question.

Starting point is 01:23:42 I said, I really want to do this. And I'm not trying to gatekeep. I'm just not sharing yet because it's not released yet. I really want clarity on that this is really my divine direction. It's not my ego trying to force it, that it's coming from a pure state. And I'm putting my energy and resources in the right place. but I need this sign to be undeniable because you know how I am. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:24:10 And I have to have things be clear. Now, I did start scanning for my environment. Like, is there a feather? Is that a sign? You know, oh, there's a bird. Is that it? And I went, no, no, no, we've got to fully let it go. I know that.

Starting point is 01:24:25 And I really let it go. I went and, like, played in the water. I was collecting some shells. And I did notice, and this was a long beach. walk and I was almost back at the resort and I was like oh interesting I guess you know I'll see I'll see this sign at some point but I guess it wasn't on this walk that's okay and I almost tripped on it and I looked down I'm the pictures on my Instagram you guys so this isn't like some fictitious thing and someone made a sand castle type thing it was a cross a giant cross and a giant heart

Starting point is 01:25:02 next to each other. And it was like just far enough from the water that it wasn't being washed away. And I went, oh my God, I asked for an undeniable sign. And there it is. And then I made sure to say, thank you. And of course, I documented it for social media. I love that story. I can't wait to hear what it's guiding you to do. That's so exciting. So I'd be amiss if I didn't ask you a question about emotional selling since this is an entrepreneurship podcast before we go. What would you say is the number one mistake people do on their sales calls? We talked a lot about being thirsty, but like any other mistakes that people do in their sales conversations, not just calls. And then what is your like number one piece of advice to be better at selling without being

Starting point is 01:25:50 manipulative? Number one, you're talking too much. So I have stickers that are made in my programs for people to put wherever they can just see it that say STFU. I try to make things fun. We over talk. We over talk when we're nervous. We over talk when we're eager. We over talk out of excitement. And the less you talk in any conversation,

Starting point is 01:26:16 the significantly much higher likelihood that you're going to land that sale, that opportunity, that deal. You need to have the other person talking more and you listening more. If you're not listening, you don't know what the hell it is they need. The other thing, I would say, that would you implement the STFU and you implement this next thing, there's no way that you will not increase your closed rate, period, end of story, I don't care what industry you're in.

Starting point is 01:26:46 Spend more time on really understanding emotionally why someone wants that thing. And I don't care if it's a house. I have a long time, very well-known tire company as a client, so it can be as unsexy as tires, whatever it may be, spend more time there. We can kind of want to like speed things up or whatever. It should be to the point where people get emotional with you. You speed through that, you rush through that. Even if it's, you know, with good intentions, you're trying to be respectful of someone's time, it's not going to work. What are the questions that we ask to get that out of somebody? Some of the questions, it depends on the person, is I can sense that you're wanting this thing,

Starting point is 01:27:36 and it's more than you losing the weight. It's more than you having a big platform, or you making all of this money, or getting your book in the hands of, you know, more people and being a known author. There's something deeper here for you. What is that? and then STFU. And then sometimes people, because they're nervous or maybe they're not a verbal communicator, they might go, oh, you know, I just know it's a good thing and I want to help people or I want it to increase my confidence or I want to be able to, you know, support my family and have more options.

Starting point is 01:28:16 No, no, no, that's not what I mean. We got to go layers beneath that. It's never about just the confidence. It's never about the money. It's never about the weight loss. It's what they believe that is going to get them. So you've got to go layers below that. So that's what I mean by spending more time on it, just like you do with me.

Starting point is 01:28:36 Yeah. You're asking me questions and then I answer, but you want to go deeper. You ask a deeper level question. So a lot of people believe emotional selling can be manipulative. And they feel like, well, if I'm playing on people's emotions, I'm kind of tricking them into the sale because I'm like triggering them or, you know, what's your pushback against that? If you're a manipulative person and you have a manipulative agenda by nature, then yes, you are manipulating them. And there are people who do that. I call them fantasy marketers. I've bought

Starting point is 01:29:11 products that overpromised, underdelivered, and have done that. But if you're coming at it from a genuine space of determining of what it is someone wants, what is it they believe they need, and is this going to help move the needle for them in either lessening a struggle or getting them closer to what they want, then all you're simply determining is if it's a match. But I think it comes down to is your agenda going into it. Is the agenda anything other than let's see if this is a good match and a good fit so that you get the results you're looking for. Now that's not manipulative. That's you being an helpful person. Yeah. But if it's like, I need to get the sale, I need to get this person to buy, like, let's land this deal. Even the way that you show up to that call,

Starting point is 01:30:03 because that's how I show up to my calls. I'm similar to you where I have an agency. I'm not really looking to grow. I have like 20 clients a year. I'm really happy with the size. I'm trying to grow my network. And even with my network, I'm very selective, with the podcasters in my network. And I always show up like, just like, is this going to be like a good mutual partnership? And I feel like when you show up from that kind of a mental head space, like you show up really confident, you don't seem pushy.

Starting point is 01:30:29 You're really trying to figure out like, can you actually help this person? And do you actually want to work with this person? You're not just like coming on desperate trying to make the sale. Yeah. In the beginning, you know, I, as I shared. Yeah. I was coming at it with an agenda. And even though I didn't think I was being manipulative, but I guess in a way I was, I was trying

Starting point is 01:30:52 to manipulate this to get the sale. Well, therefore, I didn't get the sale. Yeah. Right. And that didn't mean I was a bad person or some sheister. I would have absolutely delivered, in fact, over-delivered for them. But it was where I was coming at it. And I had to learn that the hard and expensive and painful way so I could teach all of you not

Starting point is 01:31:13 to do that. And now I know it's not worth it. if it's not the best fit for both of us. So I end my show with two questions. First of all, great job, great advice that you gave today. The first question is, what is one actionable thing our young improfers can do today to become more profitable tomorrow?

Starting point is 01:31:32 Learn the highest income generating skill that we have available to us right now, and that's profitable content creation. Even if the thought of you going on, video sounds horrible, You don't have to go on video. There is always a way. That's not the only form of profitable content creation, but geek out on it and give yourself time to really learn that.

Starting point is 01:31:58 And it'll take whether it's a business starting from scratch or one many years in to another level, even if you end up outsourcing it, you can't outsource something well unless you understand really how that skill is done. Do yourself first. And should they be outsourcing it to AI? I love this question.

Starting point is 01:32:21 AI is a tool, just like GPS is a tool. Anyone remember MapQuest? All it is is a tool. If I outsource my content and did just a rip and read, copy and paste from AI, terrible. And listen, I have my own AI. I have Coach Tiff AI that was programmed for three years with my insane brain of me pacing around my house and talking to it and all of that. And even then, it loses the energy.

Starting point is 01:32:51 Maybe at some point it'll be that sophisticated, but you don't want to be an AI information source. Yeah. Why in the hell then would they watch your videos or buy from you or lean into you when they could just then go to AI? Like, where's your spin on it? Do I think it can get you 60% there?

Starting point is 01:33:14 Absolutely, when done well. Yeah, you still have to have your own POV. And I think that human perspective and POA is going to become more and more desirable, expensive, sought after. Because everybody is just like putting out AI slop these days. Okay, so our last question is, what is your secret to profiting in life? I would say my biggest secret is the thing that most people avoid doing. and that is the gut-wrenching, continued inner healing work of being so self-aware and being willing to have people outside of yourself, you know, experts, mentors, coaches who are able

Starting point is 01:33:57 to point those things out in you and you being able to work through them on a daily basis and being that humble to also be able to talk about them. And like take that advice. Yeah. Yeah. Tiffany, this was such a great conversation. Thank you so much for joining us. Where can everybody learn more about you and everything that you do? You can go to the podcast, Project Me with Tiffany Carter on all the things and on socials, TikTok, Facebook, Instagram at Project Me with Tiffany. Amazing. Yeah, fam, I have to say one of the most interesting ideas from this conversation is that self-worth sets the ceiling for what we can create, earn, and sustain. Your self-worth is your net worth. Tiffany learned that lesson.

Starting point is 01:34:41 the hard way. When she was 30 years old, she saved up a million dollars and then she lost nearly all of it after investing into a scam, essentially. And what makes the story so compelling is that Tiffany does not view it as a financial mistake alone. She doesn't view it as like she got scammed. She viewed it as she wasn't ready to have that money. Looking back, she realized she did not trust herself to hold that level of wealth and that external result reflected an internal belief. The fact that she lost all of her money was that she was not ready to have that money. she trusted somebody else more than herself. And that idea showed up throughout the entire conversation,

Starting point is 01:35:16 whether we're talking about money, business, relationships, or opportunities. Many of our biggest challenges are rooted in the stories we carry about what we deserve. And often those stories come from childhood and from when we were teenagers. And when those stories are driven by fear, scarcity, or the need for validation, they influence the decisions we make in the present without us even realizing it. So, yeah, fam, do the work. Get a coach, get a therapist, and find somebody who's going to see what you're doing and the patterns that you're doing

Starting point is 01:35:43 who's going to be able to help guide you and recognize the patterns that you're going through. Another insight that stood out was Tiffany's perspective on people pleasing. She called people pleasing lying. She described it as a form of self-abandonment. Every time we say yes, so when we mean no, or ignore our instincts, or sacrifice our standards to make somebody else feel comfortable, we actually weaken trust in ourselves. And over time, that shows up everywhere.

Starting point is 01:36:07 It affects our boundaries, our confidence, our decision-making, and ultimately the results that we can create in our businesses. The final takeaway is that growth often requires more than just new strategies. It requires a new identity, a quantum leap, so speak. And Tiffany talked about repeatedly letting go of old versions of herself in order to build something bigger. Not because she needed to work harder, but because she needed to think differently, trust herself more deeply, and stop operating from old fears. So there's one idea I hope you take from this episode. it's this. The next breakthrough in your business or life

Starting point is 01:36:40 may not come from doing more. It may come from changing the beliefs that are driving your actions in the first place. Thanks for listening to this episode of Young and Profiting. If you listen, learn, and profited from this episode, drop us a five-star review wherever you listen. You can also find me on Instagram

Starting point is 01:36:55 at Yap With Hala or LinkedIn by searching my name, it's Halitaha. This is your host, Halataha, aka the podcast Princess, signing off.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - Tiffany Carter: The Million-Dollar Mindset Mistake That Cost Me Everything | Mental Health | E411

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