Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - YAPClassic: Benjamin Hardy on Breaking Habits and Changing Your Environment

Episode Date: July 27, 2022

Do you have trouble breaking old habits, creating new ones, or accomplishing your goals? If so, you might be relying on your willpower to make changes, and according to Benjamin Hardy, organizational psychologist and author, willpower doesn’t work! In order to create true, lasting change, you need to utilize your environment to support your goals.  In this #YAPClassic, Hala and Benjamin chat about key topics from his book Willpower Doesn’t Work, discuss the alternatives to willpower and how to commit to something, share how you can alter your surroundings to help you make changes, dive into the importance of morning rituals, and talk about how to get into a peak state.  Topics Include:  - What motivated him to write Willpower Doesn't Work  - Traditional beliefs behind willpower  - Why does willpower suck?  - Alternatives to willpower and how to commit to something  - Social pressure and making it public  - Importance of investing in your goals  - How to alter environment to help accomplish your goals  - How to optimize primary and secondary connections - Fostering high stress and high recovery environments  - Playing roles in different situations  - Importance of morning rituals and how to get into peak state - Ben’s recommendation for millennials  - And other topics…  Dr. Benjamin Hardy is an organizational psychologist, author, and the world’s leading expert on the application of the Future Self science. His books have sold hundreds of thousands of copies, and his blogs have been read by hundreds of millions. He’s published six books, Willpower Doesn't Work, Personality Isn't Permanent, Who Not How, The Gap and the Gain, Be Your Future Self Now, and 10X is Easier than 2X.  Sponsored By: ClickUp - Sign up today at ClickUp.com and use codeUse code YAP to get 15% off ClickUp's massive Unlimited Plan for a year! Shopify - Go to shopify.com/profiting, for a FREE fourteen-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features Resources Mentioned: YAP Episode #7: Willpower Sucks, Just Change Your Environment: https://www.youngandprofiting.com/7-willpower-sucks-just-change-your-environment-with-benjamin-hardy/  YAP Episode #154: Social Entrepreneurship with Mark Batterson: https://youngandprofiting.com/154-social-entrepreneurship-with-mark-batterson/  Benjamin’s Website: https://benjaminhardy.com/  Benjamin’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/benjaminhardy88/  Benjamin’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/benjamin_hardy_phd/  Benjamin’s YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC07WXGmXVbNrv3VMOp5DvDw  Benjamin’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/benjaminhardy88/  Benjamin’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/BenjaminPHardy  Connect with Young and Profiting: Hala’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/htaha/     Hala’s Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/yapwithhala/     Hala’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/yapwithhala  Clubhouse: https://www.clubhouse.com/@halataha   Website: https://www.youngandprofiting.com/  Text Hala: https://youngandprofiting.co/TextHala or text “YAP” to 28046 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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stores. Taxes and other fee still apply. You're listening to YAP, Young and Profiting Podcast. A place where you can listen, learn, and profit. Welcome to the show. I'm your host, Halla Taha, and on Young and Profiting podcast, we investigate a new topic each week and interview some of the brightest minds in the world. My goal is to turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your everyday life, no matter your age, profession or industry.

There's no fluff on this podcast, and that's on purpose. I'm here to uncover value from my guests by doing the proper research and asking the right questions. If you're new to the show, we've chatted with the likes of XFBI agents, real estate moguls, self-made billionaires, CEOs, and bestselling authors. Our subject matter ranges from enhanced and productivity,

had to gain influence, the art of entrepreneurship, and more. If you're smart and like to continually improve yourself, hit the subscribe button because you'll love it here at Young Improfiting Podcast. Today on Yapp, we're chatting with Dr. Benjamin Hardy. Ben is an organizational psychologist and the author of six books, including the best seller, Will Power, doesn't work. Benjamin's blogs have been read by over 100

million people and they've been featured in the Harvard Business Review with the New York Times, Forbes, Fortune, CNBC, and so many more. And from 2015 to 2018, Ben was the number one writer in the world on Medium.com. This episode is a YAP classic taken from number seven, which is recorded back in September of 2018. Four years ago, back when I was just a baby podcaster, number seven, and somehow I snagged one of the top productivity experts in the world. This conversation is still super relevant and helpful today. That's the beauty of YAP. It's generally evergreen content so you can find relevant value no matter if it's episode

number three or episode number three hundred. And as we're in the middle of summer now, I thought it was the perfect time to revisit this conversation with Ben Hardy. So you guys can get inspired and encourage to keep pursuing your goals and building new healthy behaviors. It is not too late to accomplish your goals in 2022. And this episode, Benjamin argues that the key to creating positive change is through enriching our environments rather than depending on sheer willpower.

Benjamin tells us why willpower sucks and he gives us an alternative tactic for changing our behaviors. We chat about the importance of a morning ritual and how to get into peak states, and Benjamin shares why it's crucial to foster environments with high stress and high recovery. If you're having trouble accomplishing your goals or breaking bad habits, get ready to have your mind blown because Benjamin is about to tell you the secrets to getting all that you want.

So why did you become interested in helping people achieve their goals and what motivated you to write your book, will power doesn't work? So the reason I got motivated to write this book is because I've studied psychology for a long time. I've stayed self-improvement. I love it all. And basically I thought that a lot of the things that were being written were a little overly simplified. Like, you know, I'm a huge believer in obviously having a positive attitude, having positive thoughts and things like that. But my experience being a foster parent

and even studying psychology and even my own experience kind of made me really think a little bit more like from a first principal's perspective, like where does the positive mindset come from? You know, for most people, it's not instinctive, it has to be trained. Like so for myself when we were foster parents and we've recently adopted these kids,

we've had them for going on for years but they came from a really bad environment. They didn't have access to a lot of opportunity and their parents were very neglectful and on drugs. And so, you know, when we get these kids and we put them in our environment, they all of a sudden have to adapt to something totally different. You know, there's these two pretty highly educated people in a pretty affluent neighborhood who are super invested in them and who are giving them energy and attention, giving them good food, like wanting to get them extra-curricular activities like all of a sudden, you know, you can imagine that I can't actually totally comprehend what that shift would be like for them, but I

know it was like for me because we had never been parents before and all of a sudden we were dealing with challenges, problems, things like that that we had never had to deal with before. And so, I wrote it for two reasons. I wrote it for one to say that a lot of people talk about willpower and discipline and are not bad ideas, but they're not really full pictures. Like my kids, for example, if they had stayed in their prior environment, you know, they might have had a lot of grit and willpower, but they just lacked options. They didn't really have a lot of choice. And then when you put them in this new environment, all of a sudden, a whole new world is open up to them. Where change becomes a lot more organic.

It's kind of like fruits and vegetables. Like you can't grow certain fruits and vegetables in bad terrain. You have to have the right soil, the right sunlight, things like that. And so I started to think about like, what about the circumstances that allowed growth to happen? And then I started studying addiction and things like that because obviously as you know, I had mentioned before in my past, there was a lot of addiction in my environment growing up. And you know, there's a lot of people in my world who are very close to me, who I love,

who I've watched fail over and over when it comes to trying to overcome addiction. And if you really study addiction, you realize that you really can't overcome an addiction through willpower. It's the worst approach. It's trying to fight a silent battle. It's trying to do it all by yourself. And the only way really out of an addiction, as they say, is through connection. It's through getting help with other people, through being vulnerable, through getting a supportive accountability-based environment. And so those are a lot of the reasons why I wrote the book was because I was sick of hearing people trying to grit their way to change

when you really can't do it that way. You need an environment that supports you and you need an environment that helps you move forward. Cool. Well, I really look forward to picking your brain on this. How about we start with some context to help our listeners understand what traditionally psychologists and scientists have said about Will Power? Can you talk a little bit about that? Yeah, totally.

So I mean, Will Power traditionally, it is a muscle. It's viewed as something that the more you use it, the more it goes away. Like, another definition of willpower is decision fatigue. So, you know, some people who have, like, you know, there's lots of blog posts and things that were popularized for a while, talking about Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg. And the fact that they wear, they wear the same clothes every day. They did that because of this concept of decision fatigue, which is basically willpower.

And it's this idea that if you make too many decisions, it wears you down. And so people who have a lot of things to do, such as CEOs or entrepreneurs or people who are pursuing big goals, they don't want to wear their mind down with menial things, such as whether they're going to wear that day. So they try to optimize, or systemize, as much of their life as possible to remove the decision-making component so that they can use their mind to actually make bigger decisions. So that's kind of like where the traditional perspective,

and I actually agree with it, view of willpower is. In your book, you state that willpower is nothing more than a dangerous fad that's bound to lead to failure, or maybe it was a medium post. So in your opinion, why does willpower suck so much, and why do you think people resort to using willpower to achieve their goals? So willpower sucks for a lot of reasons. First off, willpower is clearly unsustainable. It runs out. So if you're using will power, it's for a short term thing.

And so because of the fact that it's unsustainable, it clearly should not be a first approach. There should be better ways of doing things. So I'm just going to give a few different angles on why will power is a bad perspective. But I'll start with the fact that just we live now in a very global world. We live in a world that's changing so fast.

That will power is kind of like an old model. Like because things are changing so fast, because we have so many options and choices now, our quote unquote decision fatigue wears out very fast. Rather than trying to rely on willpower in this environment, it's a lot better to actually remove as many options as possible. And so like there's a really good quote

from Dr. Marshall Goldsmith and he wrote the book Triggers. In the book he said, if we do not create and control our environment, our environment creates and controls us. And that's basically what's happened for most people in the world today. Most people are addicted to technology, to whether it be stimulants like caffeine, huge rates, almost everyone drinks caffeine

every single day, even though it's not necessary. Unhealthy food, technology work like there's just, in general, even things like depression, like all these things are on the rise, and it's because the state of our environment is just in a huge state of flux. Everything's changing so fast. And these things are benefits.

I mean, all the amazing options, the fact that you and I can talk over the internet. It's amazing. But the only way to actually thrive in environments like this is to systematically remove most of the options that are mostly distractions. Like a very simple example is just if you don't want to subconsciously and out of habit dopamine seeking that your body is craving

Open up your cell phone and just mindlessly go through social media like just delete the app like basically It's making one decision so that you don't have to think about it again like that That's like the new model is make one decision rather than rely on well power So like make one decision to change your environment so that you don't have to be influenced in a negative way. That's one reason why will power is actually, it's just burned too fast. An environment is stimulating as this.

Another reason that will power is just kind of, if you really drill down and ask yourself, why does will power exist in the first place? A lot of it's because you haven't actually made the decision. Will power in a lot of ways reflects internal conflict. You're not actually sure what you want. I'll just give an example. I myself, and I have no judgment towards anyone who does this, but I don't drink alcohol. It's just not interesting to me, and it literally takes zero will power for me to not drink alcohol. It's not a part of who I am. It's not interesting to me. I don't have an environment that would even

Like obviously I'm around people. I've got friends family who drink, but I'm rarely in environments where it's there It's just not a part of my life and it's it has zero interest to me Therefore it takes zero willpower and I know that some people obviously there's certain things in my life They do require willpower because I haven't set things up and I haven't actually made firm decisions and commitments But the actual Greek definition or root of the word decision is to cut off alternatives. And so if a person is relying on will power, it's because they actually haven't truly made a decision about what they want. Like they're still unclear. They're like, I kind of want to be in really good shape, but I also really want to eat ice cream every day. And so they're torn between two things and they're not really clear.

Once you actually make a decision and you're firm on that, then the other options go out the door. And then your job is to create the environment that facilitates that decision, to support the help. So those are a few reasons why, if you're relying on willpower, your environment is coming against you and also you yourself are not really clear on what's going on. So if willpower doesn't work at all, what does work and what do we need to do to bypass the need for willpower and truly commit to something? Yeah, absolutely. I would say there's two core things you have to make decisions and you have to create environments that facilitate those decisions. So like as Marshall Goldsmith said, he said, you know, if you do not create and control your

environment, then it will create and control you. So the first step, you know, is changing what's coming in. Zig Zigler, who's a famous pop psychologist in a lot of ways, motivational speaker, he said, your input shapes your outlook and your outlook shapes your output. Basically what he's saying is your input, the things that are coming in, the information you're consuming, the books you're reading, the people you're around, the food you're eating, the music you're listening to, all those inputs coming in are influencing your outlook on the world and your behavior and your outlook determines your behavior and your outputs. And so I think that a really key, just initial step for people is mindfulness.

Mindfulness is really an awareness of what's going on around you and how it impacts you. So like being mindful of the fact that you're being influenced by things, by the stuff in your newsfeed, by the people around you, by your upbringing, you're being influenced. And so then you have to ask yourself,

like, is this really influencing me in the way that I want to? I might be coming the person I want to be in my behaving is my environment reflective of who I really want to be. And if not, then you've got to start making different decisions and then changing those inputs to determine what you actually want to get out of life. And so true decision making, if it's true, like if it's a real decision, not just a preference. It means that you absolutely will change your external circumstances to make that decision happen. So at the most basic level, I mean, and I can give you obviously a lot of strategies

if you want. Happy to do it. There's lots in the book. But really, what it comes down to is it's making real decisions and then creating an environment that actually allows those decisions to be real, not just something that's in your head and not just something that you say those decisions to be real, not just something that's in your head and not just something that you say you want to do.

No, if you will do it, you have to actually go out in the world and make it happen. So, let's talk about those strategies. One of them I found really interesting was making them public. Can you talk about social pressure and how announcing something and making it public can help us commit to a goal? Yeah, totally. So in the book I talk about John Burke and he's a really good friend. and how announcing something and making it public can help us commit to a goal. Yeah, totally. So in the book I talk about John Burke

and he's a really good friend, he's fun guy. He's a piano player in Atlanta, Georgia. And he's a super creative guy, 29 years old. He's pumped out lots of different albums. I think he's got like eight or nine albums that he's composed and recorded. One of them was nominated for an Emmy. But he uses social pressure a lot.

He actually has a really good system that kind of goes through a lot of what I would call forcing functions, or basically just strategic ways in which you can get yourself to do things. But how he uses social pressure is whenever he creates a new album, he tells his fans that he's working on it and that it's going to be out on a specific date. He says that it really matters to him what his fans think about him.

And so when he tells him that something's going to come out soon, that kind of puts the pressure on him to actually produce it. And he does that on purpose. He publicly commit to his audience whether that be on social media or Facebook or or you know through email or at concerts that he's got a new project coming out and then it's going to be out and he tells them when it's going to be out even though he hasn't completed it or finished it or maybe even start working on it. He does that so that it will actually force himself to do it in a lot of ways because now people are expecting it. I actually do that personally too even with starting this podcast I had announced it as a New Year's resolution.

I didn't even start yet, but just purposely to make sure that I had the fire underneath it to get it done. Yeah, the quote that is really good is just pressure, combust pipes, or can make a diamond. But in my opinion, creating a little bit of social pressure just to get yourself to do what you really want to do internally, anyways, why wouldn't you do it? You know, I mean, it's something that you already want to do, so why not just add a little bit of motivational fire? Hold tight, everyone.

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at trinom.com slash app. That's trinom.nom.com slash app for 50% off trinom.com slash app. and how about investing up front and the importance of investing in your goals? Yeah, this is a huge one. This is like one of, in my opinion, this brings the two worlds together, as far as making decisions and changing your environment, Because investing financially into your goals, it changes your psychology. Like when you become invested in something, you have ownership over it. And when you have ownership over something,

you become very committed to it. That's a concept called sunk cost bias. And a lot of people look at it from the negative. They say, you know, if you're too invested in something you're gonna stay committed to it long after, you should. But for someone who has a hard time committing in general, or who, you know, had a hard time making decisions in the first place, starting to invest your money into something, let's just say, the podcast, and not like buying a

microphone or, you know, getting some form of mentoring or joining a gym and getting a personal trainer, like actually paying money and investing, it in a lot of ways solidifies the decision. And I spent a lot of ways solidifies the decision. And I spent a lot of time studying this in my PhD research. I studied entrepreneurs and wanna be entrepreneurs and I wanted to know the difference. And I interviewed a ton of them.

These are people, the wannabes, for example, these are people who said they really wanted to be entrepreneurs, but they didn't define themselves as one. They didn't see themselves truly as an entrepreneur. Their identity hadn't gone through a shift. They were like, that's something I want to be, but that's not what I am.

They were still an outsider of what they wanted to be. Whereas, you know, actual people who were entrepreneurs, they saw that as their identity. And I asked, well, how did you make that shift? What was that transition? In the transition, almost always involved, some form of financial investment, where they started investing money into their goals.

They started actually taking on risk and then having to kind of rise to the risks that they created, you know, having to rise and produce and become. And they started behaving in ways towards that goal. And when you start behaving towards a goal, your identity starts to change. Because your personality and your identity, they follow your behavior. So when you start behaving in a certain way, you start to see yourself differently.

That idea is called self-signaling in psychology, but basically, if you start acting in a different way, you're gonna start to see yourself in a different way. And so that was kind of the big shift. And you can apply this idea in amazing ways. When I first started blogging, it started really small. It started by, obviously, buying a domain name, Benjamin Hardy.com. That was an $800 investment in my wife.

We had to actually ask ourselves, is this something I'm actually going to do, or is this just some pipe dream? Or am I actually going to do this, or am I wasting $800? And so I convinced her that this is something I really want to do. And in the investment itself, I think in a lot of ways is what helped me maintain commitment and then just investing further, you know, buying an online course learning how to write hiring coaches, you know, people who had successfully written blogs like paying for 30 minutes of their time, maybe like 100 or 200 dollars just to like have a conversation like those investments, although not huge,

when you watch yourself perform those type of behaviors, you have these aha moments where you're like, wow, I'm actually doing this thing. Wow, like this is actually, you know, in your case, for example, like at some point, you start telling people you're going to a podcast, like now you're actually witnessing yourself having a conversation, you've got a recorder,

you know, you're putting stuff out. So it's really important to have those moments where you're actually watching yourself do things that are goal oriented. And then, you know, you can stretch the idea really far where it's like, you know, there's certain environments that are very exclusive, you know, whether they be like mastermind groups, which I talk about in the book, you know, I talk about a group called Genius Network, which is one that I was very intrigued by when I first heard about it like four years ago, because my aunt, Jane, who is an awesome business owner, she joined Genius Network, which costs $25,000 a year

to be a part of. It's a very exclusive entrepreneurial mastermind group run by Joe Polish. And what was interesting is she was freaked out, obviously, because $25,000 is an enormous investment for a one-year basically opportunity to be in a group. But what I watched when I saw her, and this was back in 2014,

I watched her make some huge shifts, and it was because of the type of people that she was around and the things that she was learning, and the fact that she had invested so huge into her own goals. I mean, when you invest that big into your dreams, you're pretty much telling yourself, like that I'm worth it, that I really believe in it.

Like there's a really cool idea in psychology. It comes from Dr. David Hawkins. He wrote a book called Letting Go. But he basically said that your subconscious mind will only allow you to have what you believe you deserve. So like he said, if you believe you deserve poverty, then that's what you're going to have. And so what's really cool when you make a big decision or like an investment in yourself, or even small investments in yourself is what you're doing is you're telling your subconscious mind

that you deserve more or you're telling your subconscious mind that you, you know, you can have more and so that's what I saw in my aunt is when she made this huge investment then she was surrounded by these people who are succeeding at a level way higher than she was used to succeeding. You know, you become the product of the five people you spend the most time with. I just saw her transform and that had a huge impact on me like four years ago. And so I was like I made the kind of initial commitment in my mind you know I made the decision that I'm gonna learn how to get into environments like that I'm gonna learn how to invest in myself that big and I'm gonna learn how to be able to contribute and groups like that. And that's that's what I've learned how to do on multiple levels. And I can just definitely attest, you know, like,

Dan Sullivan's the founder of Strategic Coach. And he said, when you sign a check, like a check like this where you join a group or when you invest yourself in some way, all of a sudden you start to get all these big ideas. You start to learn new things, you know, because you've already made the commitment. And once you've made the commitment the decisions already been made and

Therefore you don't have to think about or wonder about what you're gonna do anymore I call it the point of no return and at that level all of a sudden Your motivation ships you're no longer pushing you're no longer using willpower You're actually being pulled forward and all of a sudden you just unblock the roadblocks and all of a sudden all the ideas and Inspiration start coming and you start thinking bigger. And so that's some of why investment is so key. So let's focus on environment because I feel like that's really one of your big tenants in your book is to remove and alter anything in your environment that opposes your commitments.

Can you talk about how we should do that and how we should set limiting options to make sure that we accomplish our goals? Yeah. I mean, you got to be aware of what influences you. Jason Parade, he's the founder of Basecamp, which is a multi-billion dollar company. He said that he really limits what influences him because he doesn't really want to be influenced by that much. So basically, what he's saying is he realizes that most of the stuff out there is garbage. You know, Greg McEwan in the book,

essentialism said that almost everything is irrelevant. And so I think first step is just realizing that almost everything in the world on the internet is a distraction. And so you want to, you want to limit all of that stuff, you know, there's a really good book, good to great. And he says, Good is the enemy of great. And so I think the first step is just removing bad options, removing even good options so that you can save time for the best. And what does that look like?

It includes food, books, information. I mean, just actually raising your standards for what's actually in your life. Rather than trying to exert willpower to not eat, to crap in your fridge, like just get rid of it. You know, just like literally remove it. Make one decision so that you don't have to drag your feet and think about it all day.

I mean, that's a big one. It's just removing negative influence or removing subpar influence. That could include people who are dragging you down. It could include just information media decision, you know, even places, places that trigger you into, you know, reverting back to perhaps unhealthy behaviors. I mean, that's just like one-on-one, it's just remove the negative. And then being strategic about what's going to happen when you're in an environment where you may be triggered. You know, so there's an idea in psychology called implementation intentions.

And basically what it is is you want to pre-plan for the worst-case scenarios, because they're going to come up. You want to have a plan in place so that when you get triggered to self-sabotage, you have a game plan. Basically, it's planning for failure. It's just, it's thinking about the process, but it's really easy. Actually, you just create if-thence scenarios. And you're very specific.

It's like, if this happens, then I'm gonna do this. You know, and in the book I talk about, I used to always, like, when I walked into my kitchen, just, I had a bad habit, just like craving sweet, you know, and a lot of it was just, that was just how our environment was set up. That's where I was. And this was years ago, but what I did just using this strategy was whenever I walked in the kitchen and if I ever got triggered or just had the desire because when you walk

into an environment, generally you're triggered subconsciously to want something or do something. You know, you feel a certain way based on the places you go. But every time I would walk in and if I had to thought like that I wanted to eat something sweet out of habit, I would just drop and do like 20 push ups. So it's like if I walk into the kitchen and get triggered to do something, in this case eat a cookie or whatever each chocolate chips, then I'm going to do 20 push ups and grab a cup of water. Basically what this does is it trains you to eventually develop the new habit.

Basically you create a new trigger so that whenever I walk in the kitchen now rather than being triggered, you talk with chips, I'm triggered to drink water and do pushups. Like, you basically just shift the pattern subconsciously and it gives you enough time, especially in the beginning, to distract yourself. Because in a lot of ways, when you get triggered to do something, whether it's to check your smartphone,

whether it's, you know, for some people who have heavy addictions to go get drunk or whatever. In a lot of ways, you just need a few minutes to distract yourself, to divert your attention and focus on something else. Just for a few minutes, and the craving will go away. That's why they talk in AA alcoholics anonymous about having like a sponsor. So like if you get triggered in like a person's like having this intense craving,

they call someone who just helps distract them and helps them think about something else, refocus on their goals, you can get good at that. So I mean those are a couple strategies. It seems relatively straightforward to remove things in our physical environment, but you mentioned distancing yourself from negative influences in terms of people. And you also mentioned you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. And in your book, you mentioned that the people your friends or friends with also impact you too. Can you talk about primary and secondary connections and how we should aim to optimize that part of our lives? Yeah, the quote is very popular by Jim Rohn. You're the average of the five to be spent

the most time with, which is true. But yeah, that would be considered primary connection. The secondary connection is who are your friends friends? Because you may be influenced by your friends, but who are your friends influenced by? Because your friends aren't always with you, clearly, and they're being influenced by other people. And so you want to think about not only who are your friends,

but where are your friends going? You know, what are your friends being influenced by? Like, you know, what's cool about this is that you think about the idea that you're connected to everyone in the world through like seven degrees of connection. You know what I mean? But if you think about it, like there's certain people in your world who are connected to people who maybe you want to be connected to, right?

You may really want to get in touch with someone. And this is actually really a strategy and business. If you want to get to someone who's really hard to get access to, you know, but they may have friends or someone who's not very hard to get access to. Well, how do you become friends with that person? You know, and obviously like a very strategic approach, but in real simple terms, it's like, you want your friends to be powerful and to have a positive impact. And I think generally, there's a quote that basically says like attracts like, but generally, if you're around positive people,

they're probably around positive people. So something else I just want to touch on is in your book, you mentioned creating environments that have a lot of high stress and high recovery. Can you talk about the difference between the two and why they're important? Yeah, definitely. So basically, in order to grow, to get good at something, like let's just say in fitness, for example, in order to get stronger, you have to have stress on yourself.

To grow a muscle, you have to put a lot of stress on it, but where the actual growth occurs is actually during recovery of while you're asleep. The same is true with your brain. You stress it out through learning or through some form of tasks, but then you actually need to let it recover. Like without sleep, for example, your brain, it doesn't process memories and things as well. The idea is just simple, is that you need to really stress your system,

and you need to really recover your system. And the problem in today's world is that that rarely happens. The situation hasn't been set up for such. So most people are not really, you know, on a regular basis, rising to really hard challenges and difficulties at work. You know, like for the most part, they're not paid based on performance,

they're paid based on just time and effort, you know? And so because of that, there's a lot of room for being distracted. There's a lot of room for just doing this or that. There's not a lot of true intense stress. And I'm talking about like, you stress, which is positive stress, like it. And even in people who go to the gym, even though they're in that environment, they haven't situated themselves where they're actually pushing themselves and going farther

and farther in a lot of ways, they're just repeating the routine that they did yesterday. And so, you know, the idea of recovery, like very few people truly allow themselves to recover. And recovery should be a daily thing, but it also should be a regular thing where you go a lot deeper into the recovery. So there's a lot of really good ideas around the concept of like sabbaticals nowadays, where like there's a really good TED Talk about a guy. And if you just like Google TED Talk sabbatical,

you'd find it, but there's a really famous artist who lives in New York. And every seven years, he leaves for an entire year, travels the world, doesn't work, he closes his studio, and just totally blisses out, you know, just travels and just relaxes, doesn't do any work. During that one year, he gets all of his best creative ideas, because he's actually in a state of relaxation, which is generally required for creativity. It's why people get creative ideas in the shower or when they're on the commute, it's like

most good creative ideas happen in a state of recovery and relaxation. And so, you know, there's an idea in psychology called psychological detachment from work. And basically what it means is that if you don't turn off mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally from work, you'll have a really hard time attaching to work when you get there. You won't be fully in a flow state, you won't be fully engaged because you're not really engaged anywhere else. And Dan Sullivan has a good quote, but basically it's wherever you are, that's where he should be.

So the idea is, well, how do you set up environments? How do you set up situations so that you're under high pressure and actually growing and stretching? And then how do you set up environments where you can totally unplug and just be where you are and actually recover and just be present with your loved ones? I think that that's kind of key. It's figuring out how to set those two things up. And in the book, I explain the flow triggers or the situational factors, but basically in order to have a high stress environment,

there needs to be difficulty, meaning you're doing stuff that's above your skill level. You need to be doing new things, novelty, like novelty and newness is really good for being engaged where you're at. Obviously, you need to eliminate distractions. Having a short timeline is really good. Like obviously, if you have a short timeline,

then you're probably more focused. And just like the more of these types of things you can create for yourself, being paid based on performance, for example, rather than just time punched on the clock, like where your behavior actually matters. Like the more of those things you can do, like collaborating and working with other people, and then just actually having hard boundaries,

giving yourself boundaries and giving yourself and the other people in your life, the respect of totally unplugging, leaving your cell phone in your car, or not bringing it home with you. Like actually just trusting that everything's gonna be okay, the universe is gonna be all right, and when you get back, you can get back to work tomorrow and just leave it alone,

and go home and just be home, and just engage with the other components of your life, and actually have a life. And it's so good for creativity and so good for work. Let's hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors. Hear that sound, young and profitors? You should know that sound by now, but in case you don't, that's the sound of another sale on Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform that's revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide.

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Like I said, just took a couple of days. And so it just allowed me to focus on my actual product and making sure my LinkedIn masterclass was the best it could be. And I was able to focus on my marketing. So Shopify really, really helped me make sure that my masterclass was going to be a success right off the bat. It enabled focus and focus is everything when it comes to entrepreneurship. With Shopify single dashboard, I can manage my orders and my payments from anywhere in

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years, but she didn't just stop there. She was working in I to five. And at the same time, she built her eight figure company as a side hustle and eventually took it and made it her full time hustle. And her strategic business made it her full-time hustle, and her strategic business goals led her to win the prestigious Inc. 500 award for the fastest growing business in the United States. She's built an empire, she's earned a life-changing wealth, and on top of all that, she maintains a happy marriage and healthy home life. On the Kelly Road Show, you'll learn that it's possible to have it all.

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Hey, Yap fam! As you may know, I've been a full-time entrepreneur for three years now. Yet media blew up so fast, it was really hard to keep everything under control, but things have settled a bit, and I'm really focused on revamping and improving our company culture. I have 16 employees, so it's a lot of people to try to rally and motivate, and I recently had bestselling author Kim Scott on the show. And after previewing her content in our conversation, I just knew I had to take her class on master class, tackle the hard conversations with radical candor to really absorb all she has to offer. And now I'm using her radical

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shark lately. I've totally leveled up my sales skills. How much would it cost you to take a one-on-one class from the world's best. A lot. But with Masterclass annual memberships, it just cost you $10 a month. I have to say the most surprising thing about Masterclass since I started this incredible journey on the platform is the value. For the quality of classes, instructors, the platform itself is beautiful, the videos are super high quality, you can't beat it. Gain new skills and as little as 10 minutes on your phone, your computer, tablet, smart TV, and my personal favorite way to learn is their audio mode to listen on the go. That way, I can multitask while I learn. Get unlimited access to every class and right now, as the

app listener, you can get 15% off when you go to masterclass.com slash profiting. That's masterclass.com slash profiting for 15% off when you go to masterclass.com slash profiting. That's masterclass.com slash profiting for 15% off an annual membership masterclass.com slash profiting. Something else I want to touch on is the different roles that people play. So in your book, you go into how based on the environment, you play different roles. Can you talk about that?

And you can talk about how, if it's possible to redefine our roles in a certain environment that we have? So, obviously, we all play roles in the various situations, Orin. You can go in one situation from sitting in class and being a student, going into a different class and being the teacher, or, in my case, for example, especially as in my PhD program, I would go from sitting in class and being the teacher or, you know, in my case, for example,

especially as in my PhD program, I would go from sitting in class and being a student to going to home and being dad. You know, like, those are two different roles. And in those roles, I operate differently, right? So who you are in one situation is not who you are in a different situation because it's actually the relationship between things that is the reality. So for example, the relationship between me and my teacher creates the roles and that relationship between us, it defines us. So in that situation, there's a relationship between us.

I'm the student, he's the teacher, and so within that relationship I have certain possibilities, opportunities, I behave in a certain way. I feel a certain way. And then when I go home, the context changes. And all of a sudden, the relationship between me and my child is that they see me as dad. And from that role, I then act in a different place. What's really cool, though, to realize

is that in a lot of ways, most people are very reactive about the roles that they're in. They're not proactive about choosing their roles in life. So, some people are like a victim to the situations they've been in. They don't proactively decide what role they will play. And I think when you start to really learn that you have a lot more creative control over your life, you get to design the roles that you're in. It's just like acting and improv.

You get to decide what role do I actually want to play in the situation is the role that I've been infective or has it been limiting and you can start to design the roles that you're in. I think it's very freeing to realize if you've been acting a certain way, it's not because that's who you are, it's because you've been assuming a role and you can change that role. A lot of ways the role is a story that you've told yourself a role. And you can change that role. And a lot of ways, the role is a story that you've told yourself about the situation.

And you don't have to live in that role. You can change the role. And when you do, you can act in a different way. You've got a lot more freedom to act. If you decide you want to play a different part in the situation, it's just taking a lot more control and responsibility over your life. So moving on to other gems that you put out there in the world,

something really popular you have is a morning ritual and getting into peak state. Can you describe that to our listeners? Yeah, absolutely. So basically the idea is really simple. First thing in the morning, you don't want to be distracted and reactive to the addictions in the environment, such as smartphones and things like that.

You actually want to give yourself space to think about what you want to do that day, who you want to be, what you want to do a big picture in long term. Most people, their day is a repeat of the past. They wake up, they get caught into their subconscious loops, whether that be through smartphones or through just the food they eat or through their bedgill in their routine, and they just, they get caught into their subconscious loops, whether that be through smartphones or through just the food they eat or through their bedule and their routine and they just, they live a pretty predictable life. But if you want to create a life from your future rather than from your past, you have to give yourself the space to actually think about that. And so that's, I think, in my opinion, the core reason for having a morning routine.

Obviously, in the morning routine, you can actually start behaving towards that future as well. And then you can start creating it. You can also do things like fitness and do those things which are more important than urgent. But the idea of getting yourself into a peak state is really connected to this idea and self-improvement called be than do than have. And basically what it means is that in order to have something, you have to first be that thing. You have to be, and then you have to do, and then you have to act. And so you want to give yourself space.

And in the book, I talk a lot about journaling. Obviously, there's a lot written to the idea of writing down your goals. But writing down your goals and visualizing them has to also include really truly experiencing the emotion of what it would be like and feel like to have achieved those goals. That's what true being feels like.

You actually want to assume there's a really good quote from, I forget his last name, Neville, something. And that might even be his last name. But he said, assume the feeling of your wish fulfilled. Basically, you want to ponder, meditate, write about what you're trying to accomplish and you want to feel, feel gratitude, feel powerful emotions about what, what it would actually be like to have that and then believe it and what's cool is that your brain, you know, doesn't actually know the difference between true experience versus visualized an emotional imagination. Albert Einstein said that imagination is more important than knowledge. It's far more powerful than knowledge, and it can stimulate your brain the same way. And so when you give yourself space in the morning to write about your goals, and you can obviously work out, and you put yourself into the emotional place of the future you want

to create, then you act from that future, you be, and then you do. You start acting from the future you want to have versus acting the same way you did yesterday. That creates what I would call peak state because you're in this flow where you're living intentionally and you're living on purpose. It feels a lot better than just doing what you're doing because that's how things have been done. And obviously, there's a lot of, a lot that comes with acting with intention. Like, when you start acting in new ways, it can create a lot of uncertainty because when you act in new ways, it's slightly unpredictable. You know, there's a reason why people act the same

way every day is because it's predictable. And they like their lives to be predictable. Our brains seek prediction. But when you do something new, you've stepped out of those boundaries. You've stepped out of the realm of like, oh, I know exactly how this is gonna turn out. And it feels different, but what that feeling is, even though it's uncertain, is that it's actually being alive.

It's actually doing something new, like you did when you were a kid, where you didn't actually know exactly what would happen, but you were okay with that. And that is really good for the brain, and it's really good for the body, and it's just a great way to live. And it's better to live that way with intention,

even though you don't exactly know how it's gonna turn out, than being reactive and just doing the same thing you did before. Before we go, what is one thing you would recommend a millennial change after listening to this show? If you had one thing to recommend a millennial to change. I would say, probably take a hard look at what's going on around you, and if it really matches with the person you kind of see yourself as or see yourself wanting to be, and then

just owning the fact that, you know, your environment is a vehicle, and it's taking you a direction. And that includes the friends you have, the people you listen to, the things you put in your body, like those things are a vehicle taking you somewhere. And willpower is not going to work in that situation, because the environment is just stronger than you, you know, You're in the environment. It's like you're inside the jar. And so rather than trying to fight against a jar, you know, change it. And you can deploy a lot of the strategies we talked about in this book, making decisions, changing to having more positive influence, investing in yourself, seeking mentorship.

So I would just say hyper awareness of what's going on around you and the fact that it's taking you somewhere. And then if you want to do something about it, making strong, powerful decisions. There you have it, you have fam. Willpower sucks. Let's face it, if you want to make any permanent change in your life, willpower is not going to be the thing that gets you there. Personal progress and achieving success is best approached like your overcoming addiction. May sound extreme, but literally that is what you're doing. As human beings, we all have different addictions. Maybe you're addicted to food, maybe you're addicted to

social media or TV or porn or weed. But if you're serious about making the changes that you want, willpower won't be enough. In fact, might add air that will power is what's holding you back. Ben Hardy says that if you're relying on will power to make a change, it's because you haven't made up your mind that this goal or new behavior is something that you actually want. You have internal conflicts and you actually haven't committed to what you're going to do. That is the writing on the wall. If you're required to exert willpower to do something, there's an obvious internal conflict.

You want to eat the cookie, but you also want to be healthy. Environment versus your goal. Are you going to be strong this time in resist or are you going to cave in and crumble just like the damn cookie that you want to eat? To be super clear, if you're relying on willpower, then you don't know what you want, and that's your internally conflicted,

and you haven't committed to something or created conditions that facilitate your commitment. They're just famous quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, and he goes, once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen. Take heat young and profitors Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen. Take heed, young and profitors to the wise Ralph Waldo Emerson. Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.

So are you serious about making a change in breaking your addiction to whatever that is? Or are you just dreaming? Are you still in the fence? Or have you actually decided until you decide you'll be required to use willpower and will continue to make minimal progress. The formula is according to Ben Hardy, you've got to decide that this goal or behavior is something that you really want, then you have to commit to it and then you have to use your environment to set you up for success. When it comes to achieving goals, commitment involves things like investing

upfront, paying some money for a course, right? Investing, using actually dollars, putting your money where your mouth is, that's the saying. Make it public, right? Put it up on social media, announce a chair co-workers. That's what I did for Young & Profiting Podcast. I literally announced it to my co-workers. And then I would look like I had egg on my face if I didn't make it happen.

So I put it on LinkedIn and announced it to my coworkers and then within six months I had a podcast. And you set a timeline. When you're making it public, you say by XYZ date, I'm doing this, right? Set a timeline, set a deadline. And then also you can install different forms of feedback and accountability, having an accountability

buddy is really helpful. And lastly, this is key. This might be the most important part. You want to remove or alter everything in your environment that opposes your commitment. So that is the special step there. That is the step that Ben stresses. Your environment is way more powerful than your well-power. So use it to your advantage.

Commitment means that you're building external defense systems around your goals. You're going to set up yourself for success. You're going to prepare and you're not going to leave anything up to chance. You want your environment to work for you, not against you. So you need to proactively remove anything destructive in terms of your environment from your life. That could include negative friends, right? You're going to go junk food, deleting distracting social apps, whatever it is you want to alter your environment, the things that are getting in the way of your success. And the bottom line is that in order to make lasting change, everything around you needs to be in alignment

with your decision. That is how you commit. You need to create the right conditions and remove the drugs from your addiction from the equation. You can't eat the cookie if the cookie does not exist. So you want to think about what you want and you want to think about what is that drug to your addiction and how can you remove it from the equation. Your environment is more powerful than your internal resolve. Your environment is more powerful than your willpower. And as a human being, we always take the form of our environments that we put ourselves in. This is how evolution works.

We adapt to environments. That has been scientifically proven. And today's evolution involves purposely choosing or creating environments that mold us into the person we wanna become. So if you wanna be a successful entrepreneur, hang out with successful entrepreneurs, and if you don't have access to them, listen to them on podcasts like mine.

And if you wanna lose weight, hang out with friends who enjoy a healthy lifestyle and stop hanging out with the ones that don't, right? You wanna drop that wine habit, get rid of all the wine in your closet, toss it out You want to stop being a loser? Stop hanging out with loser friends. One step at a time though, because I know that it's easier said than done. Take inventory of your friends, take an inventory of the surroundings in your home at work, even the food in your pantry. See what you can

manipulate and change your environment to actually help you meet your goals. Remember, you are responsible for shaping and choosing the environments that will ultimately shape the person you become and the destiny you have. That's right. You are responsible. Growth and evolution is optional. Too many people pass up, growing up and taking responsibility for their lives. They take up excuses instead, but you can take control. Really, I mean it and not by exerting willpower, but by changing your environment. Let me know how it goes, young and profitors. And if you're going public with that goal, I want to hear about it.

First of all, you can text me directly, text YAP to 28046 to join our text community and I would love to hear what your addiction is and how you're gonna break it and how you're gonna remove your drug from your environment. Tell me all about it. You can also tag me on social media. I'm on Instagram at YAP with Hala. I'm on LinkedIn. You can search for my name as Hala Taha. I'm also on YouTube now. Our YouTube is on fire. If you want to watch these LinkedIn, you can search for my name is Haala Ta-Ha. I'm also on YouTube now. Our YouTube is on fire. If you want to watch these podcasts, you can go subscribe on YouTube.

And lastly, if you want to thank the app team for all that we do here, you know, we pour our blood, sweat, and tears to make the most incredible episodes for you. I mean, who goes off and does a recap for you after the interview? Nobody does that because nobody cares as much as a young and profiting podcast. I promise you. If you want to thank us, drop us a five-star review on your favorite podcast platform, Apple Podcasts Me The Most. In fact, I love Apple Podcasts

reviews so much. I check them every day. I'm going to go pull up right now on this spot, some reviews, and shout out some of my favorite reviews that I've gotten this week and kudos to everyone who took the time to drop us a five- star review. And the first one is from Daniel P. Hailing from the United States of America. And he says, amazing education podcast. I've been following Hall on social media for years and it's amazing to see your growing career. Yeah, it's a great podcast for young people to be exposed to new topics, professions and industries. I like the question, Hall, it, and her interaction with the guests. Wow, Daniel, thank you so much for taking the time

to drop us this awesome review. The next review is all the way out from India, and it's from Emmett Stora, and he says, content shared are quite incredible, full of high impact and motivation. There's quality conversations, and they're great and insightful. There's lots of high impact and motivation. There's quality conversations and they're great and insightful. There's lots of learnings and knowledge that can be gathered here. Brilliant.

I wish you huge success ahead. Holla stars fire at Moji and lots of different emojis. Thank you so much for your amazing review. And one more. I'm going to read one more. This one is from engaging from Apple podcasts in the US. And obviously this is not his real name. So when you guys drop a review, do leave your full name. I mean, that's super helpful, because then I can actually shout you out because some of these user ideas on Apple are super weird. So this one says engaging.

I had the chance to tap into your latest podcast with Josh Peck, and I wanted to share that I thought it was awesome. You had great questions and seemed to be really prepped for him to share insightful and relatable context with your audience. Keep up the great work. Thank you. I loved that episode with Josh Pekis, the former Nickelodeon star.

He was on Drake and Josh. And man, my team was so excited about that interview. They were like thin, girly, and super hard. I'm like a little bit of an older millennial, I guess. So like I didn't know him as well as they did, but they were so pumped in so many of my listeners loved that episode. I just didn't really watch Nickelodeon when I was a kid.

So if you wanna check that out, Josh Peck recently came on just a few weeks ago. So I'm gonna just read another one and why not? Because you guys are listening this long. You obviously think this is interesting. And so I'm gonna read another one. And this one is from Mike Foward from the United States and he says, professional and patient.

I love the podcast with Ed Mylett, Hollows prepared, patient and respectful. She really gets fun out of her guests and really appreciates their talent and abilities. I look forward to future podcasts. Well, thank you so much, Mike, for taking the time to drop us a review. And I want to ask one more time, if you listen all the way to the end of the show, you obviously were motivated. You obviously were inspired. You obviously found value. And if you want to thank us, the best way to do that

is to drop us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. All right, so thanks again for listening to another incredible episode of Young and Profiting Podcasts. Again, if you can't drop us a five-star review on your favorite podcast platform. And thanks to my awesome and incredible Young & Profiting Podcasts. Again, if you can't drop us a five-star review on your favorite podcast platform. And thanks to my awesome and incredible Young & Profiting team. We have super stars here at Yat Media. Thank you for all that you do. This is your host, Halata Ha, signing off.

Are you looking for ways to be happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative? I'm Gretchen Rubin, the number one best-selling author of the Happiness Project. And every week, we share ideas and practical solutions on the Happier with Gretchen Ruben Podcast. My co-host and Happiness Guinea Pig is my sister Elizabeth Kraft. That's me, Elizabeth Kraft, a TV writer and producer in Hollywood. Join us as we explore fresh insights from cutting-edge science, ancient wisdom, pop culture, and our own experiences about cultivating happiness and good habits.

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