Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - YAPClassic: Ed Mylett on The Power of One More, How to Reprogram Your Mind to Get What You Want | Human Behavior

Episode Date: June 9, 2023

As a child, Ed Mylett carried a lot of internalized shame. His father was an alcoholic, he was riddled with anxiety, and his classmates bullied him for being too skinny. When Ed was 15, his dad got sober, which taught Ed that people can change their lives at any time. Now, Ed is considered one of the best speakers and mindset coaches in the world. In this episode of YAPClassic, Hala and Ed chat about Ed’s new book, The Power of One More. They also talk about the trilogy of identity, the role of intentions in goal-setting, and how learning to reprogram our Reticular Activating System (RAS) can help us live our dream life.  Ed Mylett is a renowned entrepreneur, speaker, and author who has amassed millions of followers on social media. He is known for his inspirational speeches, books, and podcasts that motivate individuals to achieve success in all areas of their lives. Ed has been named one of Forbes’ Top 50 Wealth Coaches and has been featured in prominent publications like Entrepreneur and Business Insider. In this episode, Hala and Ed will discuss:  - Using your worst mistakes to help others heal - How to touch your dreams before they come true  - Reprogramming your Reticular Activating System  - Living in your imagination instead of your worries - How parents implant their limiting beliefs into their children - How to adjust your identity as you accumulate new skills - The value of faith, intention, and association - How to build a social circle that encourages your success - The power of blissful dissatisfaction  - And other topics… Ed Mylett is a business leader, peak performance expert, life & business strategist, author, and podcaster. Ed got his start in the financial services industry, where his success earned him a spot on the Forbes 50 Wealthiest Under 50 List. Ed is now involved in a range of ventures, including technology, real estate, health, food/nutrition, and more.  Ed is the author of Max Out Your Life and The Power of One More - The Ultimate Guide to Happiness and Success (June 2022). He is also the founder and host of his podcast and YouTube Channel, The Ed Mylett Show. LinkedIn Secrets Masterclass, Have Job Security For Life: Use code ‘podcast’ for 30% off at yapmedia.io/course. Resources Mentioned: The Power of One More: https://thepowerofonemore.com/  The Ed Mylett Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ed-mylett-show/id1181233130 Ed’s books: https://www.amazon.com/Ed-Mylett/e/B07G7H2JTB  Ed’s Website: https://www.edmylett.com/ Ed’s Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/edmylett/ Ed’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/EdMylett  Ed’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/edmylett Ed’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EdMylettFanPage  Active Deals - youngandprofiting.com/deals Key YAP Links Reviews - ratethispodcast.com/yap Youtube - youtube.com/c/YoungandProfiting LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Instagram - instagram.com/yapwithhala/ Social + Podcast Services: yapmedia.com Transcripts - youngandprofiting.com/episodes-new Entrepreneurship, entrepreneurship podcast, Business, Business podcast, Self Improvement, Self-Improvement, Personal development, Starting a business, Strategy, Investing, Sales, Selling, Psychology, Productivity, Entrepreneurs, AI, Artificial Intelligence, Technology, Marketing, Negotiation, Money, Finance, Side hustle, Startup, mental health, Career, Leadership, Mindset, Health, Growth mindset.

Hey all, I'm super excited for today's episode because we're replaying my interview with Ed Milet. Ed Milet is a global speaker, coach, entrepreneur, two-time bestselling author, TV host, and top-ranked podcast host. He's considered one of the most inspiring speakers of our time. In this episode, Ed uncovers how his philosophy, the power of one more, can help you achieve greatness. We also talk about how to gain confidence, the role of intention and goals. and how to take your visualization to the next level. In my opinion, this was one of our best interviews of 2022, so I can't wait for you guys to hear it,

especially if you haven't heard it yet. Without further ado, let's listen to my conversation with Ed Milet. Hey, Ed, welcome to Young Improfiting Podcast. Thank you for having me. I've been looking forward to this all day. I'm excited. Me too. I'm psyched.

You are one of my favorite podcasters. We interview a lot of the same people, and so I usually listen to your show. before the guest comes on my show. I study with your show. And so you're one of my go-toes. And for those who may not know you, you're a renowned keynote speaker, a performance coach, an entrepreneur, and a best-selling author. You're worth hundreds of millions of dollars. You've built nine-figure businesses, and now you hold ownership stake in 23 different companies. So that's all really exciting stuff. You also just launched your newest book called The Power of One More.

So we're going to dive into all of that. But before we get into it, I always like, to take it back to your younger years, and you were way different back then. I think it's going to be super inspiring from my listeners to hear how you've transformed. So based on my research, you grew up in California. You were the only boy in a family with three younger sisters. You were a scrawny kid nicknamed Eddie Spaghetti, and you seem really confident and outgoing, but it turns out you weren't always like this. So talk to us about what you were like as a child and a team. Thank you for preparing so well. That's awesome. I respect that because I do have a show. child, insecure, shy, anxiety, fear, depressed.

That sounds good, doesn't it? I'm the child of an alcoholic father. So I was raised. The power of one more, the book I have is a lot of lessons in that in my life about that. So when you're raised with a dysfunctional family, you just grow up with anxiety and you don't grow up feeling very good about yourself. So many mornings I would leave my house just ashamed and why do I have to come from this family when everyone's got a normal family? And then I was small, like you said, I got bullied a lot in school. And so I got into personal development.

By the way, the good news is my dad got sober and completely changed his life, which we'll talk about. Funny thing, my dad got sober on 420. So my dad, the birthday is 420, which is hilarious. Only my dad would do that. But what happened for me was that I was good in sports. I was a good baseball player. So that was the one place I could flourish. But I had to learn about personal development and self-help and the strategies of building confidence

and visualizations and your reticular activating system in your brain and all these other things. just to become a baseline functioning human being. And then when I got there, I'm like, wow, I'm good at this. I have my own strategies, my own style, my own things I've learned that are sort of my recipe. And then I started to take them to another level. And then I think I became a pretty self-confident person. It doesn't mean that I still don't struggle with some insecurity or fears because I do, but I transformed myself with the stuff that I write about in this book because I had to.

And so when you say hundreds of millions of dollars and all that, like that still to this day is so bizarre to me that that's true. Like, had you met me at any age, like even high school, I wasn't like a loser in high school. I was just like, oh, there's Eddie, Eddie Milit, you know, just another dude. You would have never picked me. I didn't have great grades, but I wasn't the dumbest kid. You know what I mean? Like, I just was there. I was just a dude. Yeah. It's so interesting how people transform. And you always talk about like those small actions that like really compound over time. And so for you is like hard work. It's not like you've this like extraordinary. I heard you on an interview say that you had a very average IQ.

It's not like you're some very, like, extraordinarily smart person. You just work hard, right? Yeah. Well, I work smart too. So, like, yeah, I'm not high IQ. In fact, the funny thing, I recently for the second time, just for fun, in my family, there's my wife and two kids. We took the IQ test again.

I'm fourth out of four in our own house. So kind of building that, I know my limitations. Like, I got to outwork people, but I also have to have stuff that I can kind of cut corners on in life that are legal. You know what I mean? Like legal corner cutting that speed things up. And so I've learned all these strategies about like my time and my standards and my reticular activating system in my brain and how to program it.

And so, yeah, I don't come to the table. Nor do I want. If I were brilliant, I couldn't give people hope, right? If there was something super special about me, then I believe average ordinary people every day build extraordinary lives. And as you know, I coach some of the top people in the world, whether it's politics or entertainment or athletes and some of them have extraordinary abilities. And some of them don't.

And I've seen both types of people achieve in life. I'm just the one with not great abilities or talents that have achieved some pretty good stuff. Yeah. Well, you do have some great talents. You're an amazing communicator. And speaking of that, how did you learn how to master those skills at such a young age? Well, I'm watching you do it.

So I'd be curious how you did it. But my biggest fears was public speaking. But Napoleon Hill says in Think and Grow Rich, on the other side of temporary pain, you meet your other self. So if you can go through, I have a chapter in the book called One More Inconvenience. And I literally teach you how to chase inconvenient things. And so one of the most inconvenient things I could ever do would be to get up and speak in public. Actually, even to speak in private, like just three people in a room would be hard for me.

But on the other side of that discomfort and that pain, I really learned a gift that I had. And, you know, God did give me a really pretty good deep voice. I could have known that all along, but I didn't. And then what I did is I studied speakers, but not like public speakers. That's why my style is sort of different and why I just, there's a survey just came out and and rake me the number one speaker in the world. I'm like, wow. And to think 25 years ago, I never have done it because I didn't study speakers.

I've studied comedians. I've studied my favorite standups. Most of my best friends are standups. You know, I go to comedy clubs. Those are the best communicators on the planet to walk in a room full of strangers and make them laugh within 20 seconds. The way they use nuance, positioning, their body language, phraseology, the way they silence the way they use tonality. And then I also watch a lot of preachers. I've watched a lot of

pastors over my lifetime, like TV pastors and stuff, because they're incredible orators. Now, I'm not like any of them, but I'm a little bit like all of them. And so that's how I actually did. It was modeling. I think one of the lost art forms in the world is modeling people, like not copying, but modeling them, and then making it your own nuanced style. So that's the exact answer of how I did it. Yeah, that's really interesting. You do sort of have that, like, comedian slash preacher approach with your communication style. That's really interesting. So let's talk about transformation. So you recently lost your father. I did as well. I think we lost our dads around the same time. He actually lived sort of two lives. I think you were 15 years old. He got sober,

right? And he basically transformed into this whole other person. And I'm sure that had a lot to do with your personal transformation as well and your ability to believe that people can change, right? So can you talk to us about that? You nailed it. So my belief that human beings can change is not a belief. It's a knowing. And it's a knowing because I watched my hero do it. First 15 years of my life, my dad got sober seven days before my 15th birthday. And I told you it was 420. And it was nine days after his birthday. The rest of my life, my dad never celebrated his actual birthday, only celebrated his sobriety birthday. Wow. I believe human beings can change and know they can't because I watched my hero do it. First 15 years, my dad didn't live right. Did not live well at all. Last 35, extraordinary.

Best life I've ever watched be lived. And so I know people can change. And it made a huge impact on me that when my dad got sober, but there's the one more's, like out of the book, those lessons started with his sobriety. We're driving. Never see my dad cry before. We're driving to a baseball game of mine, and he's crying when he's driving. I'm like, oh, no, what's going on? And finally, he pulls over and he goes, hey, I'm going to go try to get sober one more time because he had tried many times. And he said, I'm going to give it one more try. There's a chapter in the book called One More Try. I said, Dad, what would be any different this time? And he said, I'm going to lose everything. your mom's taking you and the girls.

So I'm going to lose my family. And you know what? You deserve a dad you can be proud of. Your mom deserves a husband she could respect. And then he got sober. I said, Daddy, are you going to stay sober forever? You're never going to drink again? He goes, I don't know.

I'm just not going to drink for one more day. And there's been so many times in our life. So we think everything we have to decide is permanent. The truth is very few things are permanent. We both lost our fathers. Like their bodies weren't permanent, it turns out, right? They were temporary. And most things are temporary.

So in business, many times I was going to quit. This idea, never quit. That's a hard thing to make. But a lot of times I went, you know what? Okay. I just won't quit for one more day. See how I do tomorrow. And then the next day, I just won't quit for one more a day.

And those one more started to really stack up. If I could tell you something that's new, that is just a new breakthrough for me, it's a long answer. I apologize. But I wanted to share it with you because I already love you because of the way you prepare. So I'll share something extra with you. I woke up about two weeks ago. It's amazing three weeks now.

And I woke my wife up. And I said, babe, and I was pretty emotional. I said, babe, I want everyone to hear this. You can just remember this the rest of your life. It's not even in my book. I said, babe, someone helped my dad. And it never occurred to me before. She says, what? She's waking up. I said, someone helped my dad. The most important decision of my entire life is my dad getting sober. It's why I'm talking to millions of people. Our kids, our grandkids, millions of people I've reached. Some precious soul helped my daddy in the darkest moment, most shameful down moment of his life.

Some human being rose up in their humanity to that moment and saved our family. and I don't know who they are. And it never occurred to me before. And I said, babe, it goes a level deeper. What qualified this person to help my dad? The thing they were the most ashamed of and embarrassed by, they were also an alcoholic and a drug addict at one point. So the things they were the most ashamed of, most embarrassed by,

that they think disqualified them the most from winning. Because most people listen to your show. They're like, yeah, but I'm young and you don't know about me, but like I've done this stuff I'm embarrassed by. I never did this well. I broke up with my boyfriend or girlfriend or my first business, failed. Not me. I'm disqualified. The very things you're most embarrassed about, ashamed of, or think are average about you are the things that are qualifying you to change people's lives. This person,

imagine when they were drinking, driving drunk, making the biggest mistakes of life. Little did they know they were preparing for that moment to change my dad's life and mine. And then millions of other people by extension, the ripple effect. When they were doing drugs and stealing money and lying, they were preparing. It's your humanity. It's your frailties. It's your weaknesses. It's the things you're most vulnerable when you share with other people and then show them how to do something better that changes people's lives. When you link your weakness, like I start out, I'm dumb. I'm not the dumbest guy in the world, but I'm not the smartest guy in the world. People go, I can't believe you say that about yourself. It's what helps me connect with you. If I had a 250 IQ, you'd be like, well,

this dude's amazing. Of course you did it. No, I got a 760 on my SATs. I'm a C plus student. I was not, you know, I didn't run a 4-440. Like, I'm just an average guy. And you know what? that's what prepares me to help you. And so that person's drug and alcohol addiction is what prepared them to change millions of people's lives. So never disqualify yourself. Wow, that was powerful. I had chills while you were telling that story. I love that. We are definitely going to cover a lot in your book. And I definitely want to spend about half the interview on that. But I do want to cover your journey. And I have a lot of questions for you personally. So let's get the highlight real. I don't think we have time to go through your entire journey. But why don't we start?

with your first job out of college. So you were unemployed, you were living in the house that you grew up in, and your dad told you to go work at a home for underprivileged boys. So talk to us about how that experience changed your life. My dad came home from his first AA meeting. Isn't that crazy? He just got sober. Wow. He goes, hey, got your job. And I said, what is it? He goes, you don't get to pick, man. You're eating out of my fridge. I had just finished college. I was not employed. I go down there, and it's an orphanage. My boys were all wards of the court, meaning their families were gone or they were taken from them. My boys, their parents either molested them. Oh, I am.

We're dead or were incarcerated for major crimes. And so I walked into cottage eight. My boys were all eight to ten years old. I had no preparation to be there. I was not a psychologist. I didn't have any kids of my own, and I didn't know what I was doing there. And a minute I walked in, they were all getting ready for school, and they all turned around and looked at me. And here I am.

And I went on to be a three-year journey where I was their brother and, father and I took them to school and took them trick-or-treating. I was there on Thanksgiving when their uncle stood them up. I was their dad, their best friend. And it changed my life. And it changed my life because before that I was all about me, baseball, my ego, my problems, my life. Well, when you have 10 boys that are 8 to 10 years old, depending on you, you don't have time to think about yourself. You have to think about them. And where's what I learned when I was there? And maybe this sounds hokey, but it's how I've made, I don't know, several hundred million dollars. So it's worth listening to. You know what those boys wanted for me? Someone to love them and someone to care

about them. And here's a biggie that most people don't get, someone to believe in them, believe in them, and then just show them how to do better. And while I was there, I started in my financial company and started other businesses with real estate and stuff when I was there. And as I got out of there, I realized something. They weren't unique. Do you know what you want? Do you know what my best athletes want that I coach? The people that run countries that I work with, the most famous people you've see me golfing with or whatever people that I work with. They want people to love them, care about them. Here's a big one. Believe in them. And then just show them how to do something better. So when I started my financial company, I came from a place of loving people,

caring about people, truly believing in people. And then, hey, let me show you. When I can connect with you like that, now let me show you how I can help you. Yeah. And that's where I've always built all my businesses, my podcast, my financial, my tech companies, my chocolate company, my food company, my financial company, my real estate empire, all built based on what I learned from those boys. And here's the last thing. God does not call the qualified. He qualifies the called. I wasn't qualified to be there with those boys. But when I got there, I was called to be there. He then qualified me to help them. And so you don't have to be prepared all the time in life and know everything in order to step in somewhere and really make a difference. I love that. Do you still

keep in touch with any of those boys? No one's ever asked me that. God bless you. Yeah, about three quarters of them. Well, one of them's passed away. And a couple of them, we just lost contact with over time, but they are. They're men with families now. And so, yeah, I do. And no one has ever asked that follow-up question in all the years I've talked about that. So yeah, I do. I love them. They're my family. Let's hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors. At Yap, we have a super unique company culture. We're all about obsessive excellence. We even call ourselves scrappy hustlers. And I'm really picky when it comes to my employees. My team is growing every day. We're 60 people all over the world. And when it comes to hiring, I no longer

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There's no need to wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed. And listeners of this show will get a $75-sponsored job credit to get your jobs more visibility at Indeed.com.com.com.com. Just go to Indeed.com slash profiting right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indy.com slash profiting. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring, indeed, is all you need. Young and profitors. I know there's so many people tuning in right now that end their workday wondering why certain tasks take forever, why they're procrastinating certain things, why they don't

feel confident in their work, why they feel drained and frustrated and unfulfilled. But here's the thing you need to know. It's not a character flaw that you're feeling this way. It's actually your natural wiring. And here's the thing. When it comes to burnout, it's really about the type of work that you're doing. Some work gives you energy and some work simply drains you. So it's key to understand your six types of working genius. The working genius assessment or the six types of working genius framework was created by Patrick Lensione and he's a business influencer and author. And the working genius framework helps you identify what you're actually built for and the work that you're not. Now, let me tell you a story. Before I uncovered my working

genius, which is galvanizing and invention. So I like to rally people. and I like to invent new things. I used to be really shameful and had a lot of guilt around the fact that I didn't like enablement, which is one of my working frustrations. So I actually don't like to support people one-on-one. I don't like it when people slow me down.

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Stop guessing. Start working in your genius. So something that's really interesting is you just talked about, you just alluded to the fact. that you have like 20 different businesses that you're invested in. And a lot of people think that in order to be rich, you've got to have all these different income streams. You have to have multiple income streams, passive income and all these different things.

But it turns out focus is really how you build your wealth. And then you can kind of diversify your income later. So can you talk to us about the importance of focus and really getting good at one thing? Yeah. It's a lie that it's a fact that's not true, that all millioners have multiple streams of income. So then what do we do when we have no money?

We go, well, I got a multiple lines. I got to have a mortgage business. I'm going to do an auto detailing deal over there. I got a cannabis thing over here, and you end up broke. So although it's true, although it's a fact, it's not true. What do I mean by that? Once you become worth millions of dollars, then you diversify your income streams into multiple streams.

But the path to getting there is by doing one thing greatly. Get great. Be the best mortgage broker. Be the best realtor. Be the best entrepreneur. Be the best whatever it is you do. Be the best podcaster, be the best influencer, and build that thing great. Greatness rises.

Greatness creates wealth. And if I'm full time at being great in one industry and you're splitting it between three, I'm going to kick your ass. There's no way when you're doing three things and I'm in the same one where we overlap and I'm doing one. Imagine I want to be a major league baseball player. And I'm coming up and I go, yeah, but I also wash clothes on the weekends. I'm learning to play the piano and I'm a plumber.

but you play baseball all day long. Who's going to be the Major League Baseball player? The idea that, oh, I'm going to diversify. So many of you are doing two and three things. God bless you. You're doing it for the right reasons. And you're losing energy. You're depleting your ability to grow.

You're going to get smoked by the person who dominates that space you're in. Dominate the space you're in. Dominate the business you're in. Become a millionaire and then go multiple streams of income. Get focused. I totally, totally agree. I mean, I see it with podcasters all the time. There's people who are podcasters who have no idea how podcasting works, how to make money in podcasting, how sponsorships work, how anything works.

And it's like, you've got to learn your craft if you actually want to be successful at it or else nothing's going to happen. So here's another point that I think is just so, it was so inspiring for me when I was like just learning more about you. And that's how you, you always talk about actually stepping into your dream, the need to actually experience your dream. I remember I heard you tell a story about you and your wife like going to. the Ritz Carlton and just doing that for one day to just feel like it's like what it's like to have valet parking and things like that. Today you have a private jet and like that's insane. You know, you've elevated yourself to a point where barely anybody makes it to that point to be able to afford a private jet. And so talk to us about the need to actually experience

your dream. You should touch your dreams. And the reason is you belong in them. But you move towards what you're most familiar with in your life. So if you're familiar all, all the time with your current thoughts and your current life, you'll constantly keep moving towards it. So every once in a while, you got to go touch your dreams. So like you said, when I was up and coming, I would set contests up with myself. If I didn't hit them, I wouldn't do it. But I'd say, babe, if I make 10 sales this month and I make eight grand, let's take 500 bucks, let's go down to the Ritz-Crawlton on Saturday night. We'll get the cheapest room there, but I would touch the dream. And so I'd get there like a big shot, you know, I'd flip my keys to the valet. I'd never

done that crap before. You know, hey, Mr. Milette, they grab your bags. I used to be so cheap. no, we got our bags, because I don't want to give the Belmont four bucks. Now I'm like, no, you get my bag, man. You walk up, you check in. Hey, babe, let's get up into the room. You go get a massage, honey. I'm going to go play some golf. I'll meet you at the pool later.

Let's have a bottle of wine. And so for one day, we would touch this dream. We'd sit there and go, babe, we're going to live like this all the time someday. We'd just take a taste. And then maybe six weeks later, we do it again. Eight weeks later, we go out to the La Kinta Resort, you know, do it again. And all of a sudden, over time, I'm like, I'm kind of familiar with the valet. I'm kind of familiar with the ocean front.

I'm kind of familiar with the golf course. And I'm like, we belong here. All of a sudden, the more familiar I became with it, then I started looking at the houses when I'm there, right? Then I start playing the golf a little bit different. And over time, I'm like, we belong here. Because I didn't grow up like that. We used to walk on the beach I live on right now.

We'd go to the Ritz. I can walk to the montage. That was the other place we would go after I got older. I walk right to the montage for breakfast now. But we would come down this beach when we were kids. I say, babe, I'm going to get us a house on this beach someday when we'd be taking these walks. No idea how I was going to do it.

She says, you are, honey? I'm like, someday, because we're high school sweethearts. I'm like, yeah, someday we're going to do it. And I come home, I'd say to my dad and say, dad, who are these people? Who are these people that have these? He goes, I have no idea of these freaking people. I've never met any of them. I have no, I've never met someone who lives Oceanfront.

Yeah. And then I figured it out. They're the one. See, in the book, I have this chapter called The Matrix. I love The Matrix, about your RAS, but the real reason I read about the Matrix is the one. See, in every family, if you find a family that's wealthy, or successful or happy, but you go all the way back in their lineage, at one point they weren't. And then the one shows up. The one in that family rises up, takes all the hits, fights for that

family. I'm the one in my family, and they change that family forever. The world doesn't treat the Milettes like they used to. No one's got their thumb on my family anymore. We think different. We operate in the world different because the one showed up, the one. And if you're listening to this, you're the one in your family. You're the one. And over time of walking these beaches, over time of going to the Ritz Carlton, I figured out I'm the freaking one, and I'm the one that's going to do it. Now I literally live on the beach. It's one, I own an island. It's about an island that's 100 acres. You said I have a jet. I was honest. I had five jets. I've owned five jets in my life. And so you go from that to how broke I once was in my life. I've had the

water turned off in my apartment. I've been completely without power, without water, without a cell phone. I've gone to an ATM and prayed. I had 21 bucks at the bank, so it would spit a 20 out, because all it would spit was 20s, and I got 14 bucks in there, and I can't even get a $20 bill out of an ATM. I know what all that is, but I also know what it's like to touch my dreams. And now I know what it's like to live my dreams. And what's different about me than most people is I didn't get rich telling people how to get rich. I got rich, then I tell people what I did to get rich. And so in this book is the strategies of how I did it, and I documented it.

Yeah, it's a really good book. I think a great transition and foundation before we talk about the book, is to talk about the reticular activating system, the RAS. We've talked about neuroplasticity a lot on the show. We've had John Astoraph on and Dr. Caroline Leaf. And we've talked a bit about this, but I'd love to hear it from your perspective. So what is the reticular activating system? And how do things like stepping into your dream activate the system?

You're one of my favorite interviews ever, seriously. So RAS is chapter two in my book. I cover it. I call it the matrix in the book. But here's what it is. It's the filter that reveals to you, everything that matters to you in your life that's important. And it proves to you that you're right. It's the prover. It keeps you sane, too.

Otherwise, you'd be thinking about all the stimulus, the blood and your right ear going right now. You're breathing, right? You have to stay sane. So it reveals to you what's most important to you. I'll give you an example. I just bought a Tesla about a week ago. I like what Alon Musk is doing. I call my team. I go, hey, get me one of these Teslas. I'm going to start driving the guy's car. Next day, Tesla's in my driveway. And I'm driving it. All of a sudden, now I'm like, seeing freaking Tesla's everywhere. Babe, red one. There's a white one. The other day, I'm like, there's three in a row. I'm on the freeway. three lanes over, the other direction going the other way. Babe, there's a black Tesla.

I see them everywhere now. Weren't they always there? They were. Yeah. But I didn't see them before because they weren't a part of my RAS. They weren't programmed into my filter. When you go into a crowded room, I go into a crowded room. There can be 500 people in a room.

Audibly. They don't have to say it loud. Someone says, Ed. If I hear that name, I can hear it audibly over, why? It's important to me. So the key thing in life is that programming your mind that the Tesla's become the relationships, the meetings, the thoughts. the breakthroughs you have to have in your life.

They were always there. They are there right now. But you're not seeing them because they're not programmed into your RAS. They're not programmed like the Tesla is. How do you program? I teach you in the book, but I'll give you one thing. Repeated hyper visualizations of your dreams and your imagination and what you want. I have a chapter in the book where I say become an impossibility thinker and a possibility

achiever. And here's the deal. In your life, you operate out of either two frames of thinking. 99% of the people operate once they're an adult out of history and memory. They operate out of it. They have patterns of thoughts, patterns of behaviors. They operate out of this. And they reinforce it with different people, different circumstances, same life.

1% of the people operate out of imagination and dream. That's what they did when they were a child. The reason you were happier when you were a little girl or a little boy, one, you were closer to God because you had just left there. Two, you had no history and memory to operate out of. You operate out of imagination. Sort of flip that in your life. You start imagining and dreaming.

When you have a thought, an actual thought, it creates a space in your world that did not exist prior to that thought being created. And now your mind goes to work on filling it up with references and proof. So if you worry about your anxieties, your fears, your worries, your past, you constantly find the Teslas that reinforce that. If you've created a thought that's about the future and an imagination and a dream and you go touch it once in a while and you repeatedly visualize it over and over again, very simple I teach you how to do it in the book, You're doing it anyway. You're repeatedly visualizing and thinking about what you're worried about, what you fear all the time. I'm just flipping it into imagination. Then you'll begin to see those Teslas of your life, the meetings, the people, the places, the things.

And by the way, you're one podcast away, one decision away, one meeting, one relationship away from changing your life. That's the power of one more also. Yeah. And so with the rest, you could actually program it in a bad way. you could be thinking about bad things, saying bad things about yourself, and then you perceive the world with all these bad things that you don't want. So can you talk to us about how to make sure that we program it in the right way? Programming in the right way is repeated thoughts, visualizations. It's associating with people that also can reinforce those beliefs and thoughts.

If you want to know how powerful our RAS is, let's go back to the drug addict or alcoholic example. You will find a way to get what you're obsessed with in your life. So if you're obsessed with your worries and your fears, you'll find a way to get them. You'll get them. Every week you'll get them. No matter how good life is, you'll get that depression. You'll get that anxiety. You'll get that anger. You'll get that worry because it's familiar. Caroline Leaf has a really interesting thing where she talks about, like a lot of times, like our emotions aren't good or bad. They just are. And so whatever they are, you're going to get them. That drug addict, though, think about this for men. Isn't it incredible? Think of someone you know maybe that's had a drug problem. They could literally be living on the street. No resources, no job, no money, no money.

nothing. Somehow, every day they find a way to get those drugs, don't they? How do they, maybe they got to do something to a league, whatever they got to do. They get those drugs. They get them with no resources, no preparation, no nothing. So what if those drugs became your dreams? The fact that you have no preparation, the fact that you have no resources is inconsequential. People prove it every day with the negative stuff in their life, don't they? But you can prove it with the positive stuff in your life. And the way you do it is repeatedly visualizing it. The other thing you do is you begin to do one more. In your life, stay with me.

I have a chapter on goals, which is great. I show you how to set goals the best way I know how. But at best, you're going to get 25% of your goals that they're ambitious. What will you get all the time in your life? Your standards. You will eventually always get your standards. So goals without standards are empty.

That's why I teach the goal chapter and the standards chapter together. Standard, stay with me. You've had someone on your show who stole my content, I guarantee you, because I've been saying this for 30 years and says, if you want to build self-confidence, you got to keep the promises you make to yourself. Yes.

Everyone says that now. I'm pretty sure I said it first, but even if I didn't, who cares? And so if you don't have any self-confidence is because you have a reputation with yourself of keeping the promises you make. You want to build self-confidence? Start keeping the promises you make.

Which is great, but anybody can do that. But what if you change the standard? What if it was one more? What if I don't just keep the promises I make to myself, but I do one more? So I'm not just going to keep the promise to work out and do 10 reps in the gym. I'm going to do it and do one more.

I'm not just going to do cardio and do 30 minutes. I'm going to do it and one more minute. I'm not just going to make 10 contacts a day, keep that promise. I'm going to do the 10 contacts, keep the promise, and my standard is one more. I'm not just going to tell my daughter I love her every day and keep that promise to myself. I'm going to do it and then I'm going to do it one more time every day. Now you're superhuman. Now you've transformed yourself into someone who had no self-confidence to confidence to superhuman.

And so that's the standard that changes our life. and that's how we begin to reprogram our RAS. I love this concept of one more. I have to say, it's a very unique concept. I read self-improvement books all the time. And I love the fact that you're just saying, like, just go a little further. Like, give it 110%. Don't just stop at 100.

It's not enough. So I love that. We'll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors. Hello, Yap Gang. I know my young improfiting listeners want bigger businesses and a better life. and the New Year is the perfect moment to reset and commit to your growth. But let's be real. You can't build an empire if your finances are all over the place.

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What's up, Young and Profiters. I remember when I first started Yap, I used to dread missing important calls. I remember I lost a huge potential partnership because the follow-up thread got completely lost in my messy communication system. Well, this year, I'm focused on not missing any opportunities. And that starts with your business communications. A missed call is money and growth out the door.

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I think that's the next good point to kind of discuss. Let's talk about how you define identity and how our identity is shaped in childhood. Well, it's installed in us. So our parents install, our loving parents, even if they're loving, they install some of their limiting beliefs into us when we're defenseless, when we're kids. We don't know.

My dad, God bless him. I love my father very much. He was a great man, but he would have this thing he would always say to me, you'll get a kick out of this. He'd say, be careful. Since I was a little boy, hey, daddy, I'm going to look. Hey, have a great game. Be careful.

I don't think he knew why he was saying it. I'm 50 years old last year. What do you got going today? I go, oh, I'm taking max the age games. Have a great time. Be careful. What am I being careful for? Right?

I got a speech in front of 30,000. He goes, crush the speech. Be careful. Like, it's a figure of speech, right? But it's reflective of something inside him. And my dad was not a risk taker. My dad always wondered who's a. And so I got older and I grew up like, I've got to be careful.

What are they going to do to me? Maybe I don't want to make a mistake. What are people going to think about me? I don't want to blow this business deal. I don't want, I'd worry. Why am I a worrier? Because I'm always been told to be careful. He didn't even mean it, but he said it.

And so that became part of my identity. Your identity is your self-worth. It's the thoughts, beliefs, and concepts that you hold to be the most true about you. Here's the best analogy I give on it. Your identity is the thermostat setting of your life. So in this room, it's set at 75 degrees. It's actually not. It's actually said it's 70 today, so we'll use 70.

It's at 70 degrees. Outside, I live at the beach, it's about 85 degrees right now. The external conditions have nothing to do with this thermostat. Because when it's 85 outside, the air conditioner kicks on and regulates the room to 70. That's your life. I'm going to explain your life to you now, everyone. So if you stay at a 70 degree identity, let's just say there's different ones, faith, fitness, fun, bliss, peace, money. Let's just use success. Money, let's just say. You have a 70-degree

internal thermostat worth of money. And you start learning all these skills on the podcast and in your business. And now you're at 80. Man, you're cranking. You're making 150 grand. To 95 degrees of money. Eventually, when those results exceed your identity, you will unconsciously turn the air conditioner on of your life. Uh-oh. Everyone's like, holy shit, he's right. And you will eventually over time, cool it back down to exactly what that thermostat setting is, no matter what. And it'll seem coincidentally. Like, no, no, no, crypto dropped. The stock market went the wrong way.

Our interest rates went up. Supply chain. I had to loan my friends some money. My car broke down. My mom needed help. Bologna. You turn the air conditioner on of your life and you got it back. You see it in fitness.

Someone's a 70-degree fitness person. They got 20 pounds too much weight. They lose the weight. You see them a year later, they put it back on. Air conditioner kicked back on. So the key thing is as you're accumulating skills is to adjust your identity. And in the chapter, in the book, I teach a trilogy of identity. I'll just give you what it is without teaching it. Faith. If you're a person of faith, it's amazing to me how someone

will go to church on Sunday and worship God. I'm a Christian, but whatever your faith is, or their mosque or their synagogue, or maybe they'll go to Bible study. God's with them then. But when they walk into a sales call, they're alone. When they walk into a business meeting, they're alone. Bring your faith with you into your business life. Two, intentions. Give yourself more credit for your intentions in your life. You intend to serve. Before we did the show today, I turned my camera off real quick, I said, just give me a second. And I just went, Lord, just please bless me today. Let me say the right words on the show. And then I remind myself, I intend to help people today. I may not have every answer, but my intentions are good. My identity comes from that. And then the third part of the trilogy

is associations. If you're around 150 degrees and you're a 70 degree, they will heat you up by proximity over time. And the closer you get to them, the more they can heat you up. And so faith, intention, association. Yes, I love that. I want to dig deep on some of these. So let's talk about intentions. So a lot of people, we were talking about it before, sometimes we have negative self-talk. And we truly believe we don't deserve what we want. Like, we might want to be a doctor, but deep down inside, we don't feel like we're worth it to be a doctor. Can you talk about how we need to understand that our intention matters of wanting that goal, because if we never really accept that we can achieve it, we'll never get it.

I was 28 years old and I won a trip to Hawaii for my financial business. And luckily, I get up before the sun does. And back in those days, I'm 100 years old. So no one used to work out that was in the business world. There was like people at the gym and they were all like in construction or blue collar. White collar people never worked out. I was one of the first ones, you know, and I'm like, so I got up to run. Sun's not up yet.

There's this guy running towards me on the beach, bald guy, hairy back, sweating. I'm like, whoa. And he gets closer to me, and it's a man named Wayne Dyer. And Wayne Dyer is one of the all-time, most beautiful thought leaders, influencers, before there were influencers of all time. And it was a hero of mine. Like, there was Tony Robbins and Wayne Dyer. And God's good that he brought both of them into my life as friends.

So that morning he runs by him. I go, wait, Dr. Dyer. I had a Walkman, Sony Walkman. So. And I go, Dr. Dyer, you changed my life. And he had a deep voice like me. He turns around.

He pulls his walkman off. He goes, well, I doubt that. You probably changed your life. But how did I help? And he walks towards me and we sit down on the beach. And for the next 90 minutes, I watch the sun come up and I talk with one of the greatest thought leaders in the world. And in that conversation, he said, Ed, you're going to change the world.

I'm sure he said that to other people, right? But at the time, I was like, really? And he said, you're brilliant. The way you think about the mind and life and business. My gosh. And he goes, and that's not why. And he goes, and if you begin. to attach your confidence and worth, Ed, to your abilities and your achievements, you're in big

trouble. And I went, what? I thought you were supposed to do that. He goes, Ed, you'll always be chasing it. And when you have a setback or it's going to cascade down on you, I go, well, then what should I attach my worth to? He said, you're going to change the world, Ed, because your heart's so beautiful. Your intentions are amazing. Focus on your intentions all your life. You intend to make a difference. You intend to get there. He goes, you know, there's nothing wrong, Ed, with walking into a meeting going, I don't know, but I'll find out. There's nothing wrong with saying, I've changed my mind. There's nothing wrong with saying I was wrong. And he said, you have beautiful intentions. And it was something I knew. By the way, everyone listening to this, they know about themselves.

I went, well, I never believed my abilities were great. Anybody ever told me, I'm like, yeah, but, you know, or you're being nice. But when someone says, you intend to help, you intend to do good, I'm like, you got me there. You're right. I do. And so for the rest of my life, so far, I've attached my worth, my identity to my intention to when I walked into that orphanage, was I the most skilled psychologist or dad in the world? No. My intentions were to love those boys. My intentions were to show up for them every day and make a difference in their life.

And I showed up damn big. I've showed up strong. I've showed up to a lot of business meetings, not the most smart guy in the room, but I showed up intending to help people. And I've shown up big. So this thing of linking to your intentions will change your life. Yeah, I think this is just so powerful, like not being worried about where you are now in the present and realizing that your potential is your intentions to improve in your life. And that is huge.

So one other thing that I learned about you when I was studying you is how loyal you are. Like, you're really loyal. You've been with the same woman since you were in grade school, which for me, as a woman, I'm like, oh, wow, this is like a good man. I would love to understand, like, how do you design your social circle in terms of the associations you make in your life? because clearly you've kept some people around for a long time. You didn't just go try to find a new circle. There's a lot of people that you've kept around. So how do you design your social circle?

That whole thing like drop certain people. I've had to drop a few, but not that many. What I have done with people that don't serve me any longer is I've reduced my proximity to them. I don't see them as much. But for them to be banished from my life, I've not done a lot of that. I add new people. And so what I try to do when I add new people is I want people that love me.

But I actually look for a criteria in people that do they support my values? And so, like, I don't like, when I go to Vegas a couple times a year with a group of men, all of them are amazing husbands. A couple of them are pastors of churches, you know, like, that doesn't hurt. But, like, I don't want to be around dudes who don't live that part of their life correctly because it might rub off on me. I'm not perfect, so I want to want to rub off me. If someone doesn't keep their word or isn't meticulous in telling the truth,

We all have that friend. We're like, he is such a bullshitter, right? You have that friend? They're not going to be around me that much. Yeah. I want people that believe in me. And here's the biggie. I have a lot of people.

I have a lot of funny friends. You see them on my social media. Like, I have people that really make you laugh. I love people that make me laugh. And I'm an introvert, so I like to be around extroverted people so I can just be a fly on the wall. And so, but a big one is that I want people who don't accept me as I am. And most people are looking for friends who accept them as they are. I'm not looking for that.

I'm not looking for acceptance. I'm looking for people that believe in me so much. that they think I could even be better than I am. And they hold me to that standard. There's that standard word again. That when I'm around them, here's a biggie. Wow, are you going to be shocked when you listen to this one, everyone? If more than 5% of our friends' conversations are about, remember when?

Remember? You remember. George Lopez has this great skid on it. What do you do when you get a lot of your friends? Reminis, which is cool a little bit, 5% of the time. But that means you're operating out of that history and memory. Most of my friends, we do a little, I mean very little of the remember, but we do a lot of imagining. We do a lot of dreaming.

We do a lot of here's where I'm going, man. Here's what I'm thinking. Here's what we could do. Let's do this next. We operate in the present, but we talk about the future a lot, not the past. I don't want a lot of friends to talk about the past. I can do that anytime I want. That ain't where I'm at right now.

Yeah, that's huge. I love that advice. Okay, let's talk about the difference between self-confidence and identity. I think this is another big concept in your book. Talk to us about what we need to understand when it comes to self-confidence and how it differs from identity. Well, self-confidence is that relationship. It's a reputation that you have with yourself.

Identity is who you believe you are. And so they're connected. They're like identical twin sisters, but they're not exactly the same. Self-confidence is a relationship and reputation with yourself. That's what it is. And for me, there's an other side of self-confidence that must be. most people don't talk about, which is humility. I want friends that have tremendous humility along with their self-confidence because humility

keeps you curious. It keeps you growing. Only a super self-confident, truly self-confident person can be humble because they're comfortable with themselves enough to say, I could get better. It takes strength to say I could get better. It takes strength to have humility. And so I look for that. And I hope I have that.

Identity is actually who you believe you are and what you believe you are worth. and that's a whole different animal altogether. And so although I want you to have a ton of self-confidence, you could be the most confident thing in the world, but what if you've placed your confidence in an identity about yourself that's way less than it's true? So I'm very confident in who I am. You ever meet these people?

That's just who I am. And they're really confident about it. It's just who I. They're really confident they're right. So they've got a ton of self-confidence. They're just wrong or limited than themselves in their identity. And so although I really believe working on your confidence is not that difficult to do.

do and you should do. The real hard work in life is to change that identity. Because that identity, you started developing that thing when you were a little girl, and you fed it over time. And so that identity is this thing you're never going to escape. It's that thermostat setting of your life. And for me, it's, look, if I'm really the child of a loving God, if you really believe that, how am I not amazing? How am I not been born to do something great with my life? So if you have a faith, attach it to your identity. I'm your brother, because we're the same bloods running through both of us, but I'm a child of an awesome God. So there's that. My intentions, man, I really want to make a difference in the world. I really want to help people. I'm looking at the ocean right now.

I could actually just have my butt on that beach right now every single day if I wanted to. But that's not what my intentions lie. My intentions lie that someone's listening to this right now it's going to change their life. You're going to grab my book. It's going to change their freaking life. So my intentions are good. And then third, I'm around people all the time who believe in me, who challenge me, who push me, who are further down there. There's this great Chinese proverb that says, if you want to know the road ahead, ask those coming back. And so I try to have some friends in my life that are older than me that have already been down the road. I'm going. And I can ask them for directions. And so for me, for most of you, I could be that person. Mine is people you

know really, really well who run big, big companies and are well-known people. But The only reason it's not because they're well known, it's they've been down the road and they're coming back. And so I want to know the road ahead. And so that's who you should have in your life is someone like that. And by the way, not all your associations have to be in person. They could be a book. When I read a book, I pretend I'm living with Napoleon Hill that week. I'm living with Ed Milet.

He's speaking to me. These words were written for me. He's talking to me. I've spent the week with Wayne Dyer many times when I wasn't with him before I met him. I felt like when I met him, I knew him. When people meet me, my biggest compliment give me is they feel like they know me. And that means they've really studied me. They've really been in my life.

And hopefully when I make an Instagram post or I have a podcast or a YouTube video or I write a book, they're like, you're talking to me. And that's association as well as stuff like this. Yeah, 100%. I have to say that I feel like, especially if you're just starting out, if you just read and keep leveling up and leveling up and leveling, eventually you're going to meet your mentors that you're reading, just like what you're saying. I've been listening to Ed Milet for years. Now I'm interviewing him, you know, because I leveled myself up to be able to have the opportunity to do something like that. And part of that is learning and studying and doing things on your own.

And sometimes your mentors are people you don't really get to talk to to your point. So I love that. Okay. So one last thing before we wrap up. And that's your concept of blissful dissatisfaction. I feel like this is a really important point that I want my listeners to understand because you say there's two great motivators. There's wanting something and trying to get. that thing. And then there's also avoiding pain. So talk to us about why we need both and then we can

close things out. You can get both levers. So what do the doctor do that day? The pain of me dying and missing my daughter's wedding and also the pleasure of being there. So those are the two big drivers in our life. But what most of us do, I believe in the concept of blissful dissatisfaction. Here's what most people do. They conflate and confuse two things. Satisfaction is not happiness. You can actually be happy and still dissatisfied. You can do both. Satisfaction happiness aren't the the same thing. So I've learned to live blissfully and still be dissatisfied. Disatisfaction means I'm capable of more. I'm not there yet. I'm dissatisfied. I'm going to go get it. But most people can flake those things. So people think to themselves, well, like achievers, they're big on this.

Man, I'll enjoy it when. I'll give myself bliss when. I got to stay perpetually unhappy and dissatisfied because they think it's the same thing. So when I get to a million bucks in the bank, then I'll enjoy myself. Then I'll give myself bliss. When I get the dream relationship, then I'll be blissful. When my podcast is number one, then I'll be blissful. When I'm this or that, then I'll be blissful. When I get to a million followers, then I'll be blissful. And they delay their bliss until a destination in the future. The problem is the finish line keeps moving. And eventually, if you don't give yourself bliss for what you're doing, you burn out. Because your brain doesn't get any dopamine for its success. And it eventually goes, it concludes, I don't want to do this anymore.

You've talked enough about neuroplasticity and understand the neurology of the brain that if you don't get dopamine for doing something over and over and over again, you stop. Then there's the other people. They think, well, if I lose this pain I'm in, then I'll lose my drive and ambition. Neither is true. You ever bite into it like a steak you love or any food you love? That first steak's blissful. You give yourself a total dose of bliss. Does it make you want to take another bite or no? Of course it does. So the amount of bliss you get in celebrating your wins and your success actually gets you to do more of that very thing, not less of that very thing. And so I've learned to live blissfully happy and still be dissatisfied. In fact, I think I'm a pretty good example of that.

Like, I'm a pretty darn happy, blissful person. But I'm not satisfied. I got more to do, more people to help, more things to achieve, more memories I want to create. So I've learned to live in bliss. You don't have to live in misery as you're chasing your dream. You don't have to be miserable and angry and down and delay bliss to get there. In fact, take it from me, because I used to do that. And here's what I figured out. I was winning in spite of that flawed bliss. belief system, not because of it. And what I've figured out is the more I celebrate, the more I enjoy, the more I give myself dopamine hits, the bigger I get, the more I expand, the more I grow. And so learn to be in bliss and dissatisfied at the same time. I love that. Okay, so we ask the same

last two questions to all of our guests, and then we do some fun stuff at the end of the year. So the first one is, what is one actionable thing that my young improfitors can do today to become more profitable tomorrow. Do the inconvenient thing. I have a chapter in the book called One More Inconvenience. It's change your relationship with pain. Begin to willing to do hard and difficult things. When you look at your given day or your week, do the inconvenient thing, not the convenient thing. Everyone does the convenient thing. Do the inconvenient, most difficult thing you could possibly do because that's the thing that produces the biggest results. And what is your secret to profiting in life? It's the service of other people. I want to help someone

else. So my secret of profiting is that I solve people's problems. My business is solve a problem. And so if you can find a problem and you can solve it, you're going to win. By the way, you don't have to always create a new industry either. Sometimes it's getting into an industry that already exists and just doing it better than what the competition does. And in a lot of businesses nowadays, small is better. Nimble is better. You can move quicker. You can pivot. You can adjust. You can course correct much faster and much better and much more boldly with better customer service, better culture than a big company because they have taken longer to move and make decisions. I love that. And where can our listeners go find more about you and everything that you do?

You can go get the power of One More anywhere books are sold. You can go to the power of one more. com and you can get a bunch of tools that will enhance the book. You can go to Ed Milet and my last name is M-Y-L-E-T-T and you can go anywhere. Social, Instagram. Probably my biggest platform social is Instagram, but I'm on LinkedIn. I'm on everywhere. But Instagram, I've got a a very, you know, pretty successful podcast that I do is serious now, but you can listen to it on iTunes and Spotify and Stitcher anywhere. You can get a podcast, Apple. And I got a YouTube channel as well.

So anything with my name on, just type my name in. You'll find me. And we're going to stick all those links in the show notes. Ed, this was such an amazing conversation. Thank you so much for your time. I really enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. So thank you so much.

God bless you.