Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - YAPClassic: Lewis Howes, 6 Mindset Hacks to Conquer Doubt and Build Confidence
Episode Date: January 10, 2025As a senior in college and an All-American athlete, Lewis Howes had it all, until he received some life-changing news. The night before a big football game, Lewis’s father got into a car accident th...at left him in a traumatic coma. When his dad could no longer guide him, Lewis started seeking new mentors. He began reaching out to highly accomplished people asking for the stories of their success. The people he met gave him a new direction, new inspiration, and new hope. In this episode, Lewis will talk about his book The Greatness Mindset and what he's learned from hundreds of conversations with some of the most inspiring and successful individuals on the planet. In this episode, Hala and Lewis will discuss: (00:00) Introduction  (01:35) How to Heal From Past Trauma  (04:29) How Lewis Leveraged LinkedIn to Get His Foot in the Door  (06:22) Defining Your Meaningful Mission  (08:24) How to Promote Multi-Channel Podcasts  (11:14) Finding Your Sweet Spot for Success  (17:52) What Sports Taught Lewis About Failure  (19:29) Overcoming Fear of Failure and Judgment  (27:32) Building a Future Self That Inspires You  (34:19) Developing a Greatness Mindset  (38:43) Why Gratitude Unlocks Abundance  Lewis Howes is a New York Times bestselling author of the hit book, The School of Greatness. He is a lifestyle entrepreneur, high-performance business coach, and keynote speaker. A former professional football player and two-sport All-American, Lewis hosts a top 100 iTunes-ranked podcast, The School of Greatness. He was recognized by The White House and President Obama as one of the top 100 entrepreneurs in the country under 30. Lewis is a contributing writer for Entrepreneur and has been featured on Ellen, The Today Show, The New York Times, People, Forbes, Inc, Fast Company, ESPN, Sports Illustrated, Men’s Health, and other major media outlets. Connect with Lewis: Website: lewishowes.com/about LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/lewishowes Twitter: twitter.com/LewisHowes Instagram: instagram.com/lewishowes Tiktok: tiktok.com/@lewis Sponsored By: OpenPhone - Get 20% off 6 months at https://www.openphone.com/PROFITING Airbnb - Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com/host Resources Mentioned: Lewis’s Podcast, The School of Greatness: https://apple.co/4iUL4jB Lewis’s Book, The Greatness Mindset: Unlock the Power of Your Mind and Live Your Best Life Today: https://amzn.to/41HLPGj Top Tools and Products of the Month: https://youngandprofiting.com/deals/ More About Young and Profiting Download Transcripts - youngandprofiting.com Get Sponsorship Deals - youngandprofiting.com/sponsorships Leave a Review - ratethispodcast.com/yap Watch Videos - youtube.com/c/YoungandProfiting  Follow Hala Taha LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Instagram - instagram.com/yapwithhala/ TikTok - tiktok.com/@yapwithhala Twitter - twitter.com/yapwithhala  Learn more about YAP Media's Services - yapmedia.io/
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What's up, young and profitors?
It's time to talk about greatness.
And who better to talk about that with than the host
of the School of Greatness podcast, Lewis Howes.
In this two-part video, I'm going to talk about
the greats of the School of Greatness podcast,
Lewis Howes. And I'm going to talk about than the host of the School of Greatness podcast,
Lewis Howes.
In this 2023 interview from episode 232, Lewis gave us a masterclass on how to develop a
greatness mindset and the work it takes to get there.
Once upon a time, as a senior in college and an all-American athlete, Lewis had it all.
Then he received some life-changing news. The night before a big football game, Lewis's father
got into a car accident that left him in a coma. When his dad could no longer guide him, Lewis
started seeking new mentors, and he began reaching out to highly accomplished people, asking them
about their stories of success. In this conversation, we'll explore some of the key lessons Lewis has learned from his quest, uncovering how we can all
embrace our own paths to greatness.
Whether you're seeking inspiration for your personal
journey or looking to elevate your professional life,
you are going to want to hear this.
I'd love to talk to you about your story and your own journey
towards greatness and what you've learned along the way.
And from my understanding, when I was doing my research,
a major piece of your story occurred
when you were sleeping on your sister's couch
in Columbus, Ohio, at the age of 23,
you had an injury that abruptly ended
your professional football career,
and your dad was recently in a car accident
and was put in a coma.
You were also pretty broke, and it seemed like the walls of your world were basically caving in on you.
So I'd love to understand what were the aha moments or the series of moments that got you off of your sister's couch?
I think I had something inside of me calling me for something more.
In a moment of, or in many moments, many months of breakdown and sadness and kind of grieving,
grieving the loss of my dream of playing football, grieving my father who was in a hospital for many
months in a coma, and just kind of grieving loss in general, emotional, mental, physical loss,
and having a lack of certainty. I didn't have certainty. I didn't have clarity about my future.
I didn't know what the point of all this was. And so it was just very confusing time. And I didn't have certainty. I didn't have clarity about my future. I didn't know what
the point of all this was. And so it was just very confusing time. And I didn't have any resources.
I didn't have any money. I was in debt from my college loans. This was in 2008, 2009,
when the economy in the US was essentially tanking. The housing crisis was tanking and
everything. And I didn't have my father, was kind of my backup, biggie, uh,
a bank account. If I needed money,
he would give me like 50 bucks here and there. Like it was like a security
blanket almost like, okay, go chase your dream. When you're done,
you can come and I'll hire you for my company type of thing.
So I didn't have that anymore. So I had to learn like how to be resourceful.
I had to learn how to kind of fend for my own really, and how to tap into a
network of people that I didn't know, but I felt like I needed to know.
So that's when I started reaching out to mentors, coaches, guides.
I started consuming as much as I could in terms of resources and books, going
to conferences and just trying to meet people, learn from people and take action.
So that was kind of that journey then.
So something that me and you both have in common
is that we leveraged LinkedIn as a launch pad
of our careers and our podcasts.
So I did the same thing five years ago,
you did it 10 years ago, right?
And so I'd love to understand how you leveraged LinkedIn
to get your foot in the door
and start in the world of online business.
Yeah, I started on the world of online business.
Yeah, I started on LinkedIn end of 2007 actually.
I think there was only about 12 million people
on the platform at the time.
I wrote a book about LinkedIn in 2009.
There was one other book about it,
but I think there's probably hundreds of books about it now,
but I was one of the first that wrote a book about LinkedIn.
And I became obsessed with it early on
because a mentor said, why don't you check it out? Maybe you can find a job there.
And I was just trying to network on there originally.
LinkedIn was not as robust as it is now.
And so after about five years, I kind of gave up on LinkedIn
because it was so powerful in the beginning for me,
but then they weren't innovating like other social media platforms were.
And they did not connect with creators,
influencers. They didn't have any support for someone like me back then. So I really felt like
they neglected the community, in my opinion. And then I guess about five, six years ago, they
started to innovate their platform and add more tools and resources for creators, I slowly got back on because I kind of got burnt out
from LinkedIn because it just was,
it was so challenging to work with the platform
and the team at LinkedIn wasn't responsive as they are now.
It was a launching pad in sense of building powerful
connections early on for me.
And I met some incredible people that I networked with
on the platform that I'm still incredible people that I networked with on the platform
that I'm still friends with today back in 2007. There's a friend of mine who is a mega billionaire
now that I met in 2007 by just sending him a direct message on LinkedIn and us building a
friendship over the years and going to events together and watching each other grow. And I just
saw him a couple months ago.
And it's like all because I'm LinkedIn,
the power of connection.
So it's been an amazing platform in general.
I wish I would have used it when I had my podcast launched
because I actually didn't use LinkedIn that much
when I launched the show.
Oh, wow. Interesting.
And so I'd love to understand what gave you the genesis
and the idea for starting your podcast
because you were pretty early on.
2013 at that time was still really early.
Yeah, in 2012 I was going through a transition
in my business at the time.
I had an online marketing company.
I was kind of getting burnt out by what I was doing
and I just didn't feel like it was meaningful to me anymore.
It was still like powerful.
It was making money, but it wasn't like a deeper meaning sense of purpose.
And what I was doing though, is I was using LinkedIn before then to connect
with coaches and mentors and leaders.
And I would meet with a lot of them in person and I was getting so much wisdom
and knowledge from them when I would ask them questions, I was just like,
I should probably record these.
And I've heard of this thing called podcasting.
No one, nobody knows what it is at the time, 2012.
But I was like, I feel like it might be big one day.
I said, all right, I'm going to, I called two friends that had a podcast.
There was probably only 50 people at the time that had podcasts.
And I called two of them.
They told me they loved it.
They loved the experience.
They loved the connection with the community.
They felt like it was the most engaged type of content they were able to
create with people in the community.
So I said, I think I could do this.
I have no clue what I'm doing.
I've never done this before.
I didn't go to school for this, but I feel like I can figure it out.
Let me try it for one year.
I'll do it once a week for a year as an experiment.
If it doesn't work out, then I'll stop.
But I fell in love right away.
And now 10 years later, 1400 plus episodes later,
almost a billion downloads later, it's still going.
That is absolutely amazing.
You've been crushing it on your podcast.
And after I've looked at your story
and learned more about like how you came up,
I realized that you were an early adopter and so many things.
So you were an early adopter in LinkedIn, then you were an early adopter on
podcasting and now on YouTube, you're crushing everybody in the podcast game
because you were one of the first ones to take the full step in becoming a video
podcast.
Yeah, it was almost eight years ago after maybe it was two or three years into the podcast.
I started to see probably the third year in, I was like, Oh, okay.
This is a thing.
And there are lots of other people starting to jump in.
I would say I was like the second wave of people that jumped into podcasting.
If Joe Rogan was like two years before me, and then there was just like some
underground tech podcasts, that was essentially it, there were no bigger
shows, there were no bigger shows.
There were some big shows at that time in the small ecosystem, but it wasn't
mainstream.
Then there was guys like me and Pat Flynn and Rich Roll kind of all came in around
the same time, maybe within a six month window in 2012, 2013.
And so we were kind of like the second wave of people jumping in
and trying to figure it out.
And then probably 2015, I think that was probably around the time when
serial came out and it, it became more mainstream podcasting.
And then there was, that's kind of the third wave.
And now it just keeps the waves keep coming.
I remember around that time, I was just like, I don't know, I feel like this is just gonna keep getting bigger.
And it's hard to innovate audio, or at least it was at the time.
And I still think it is kind of hard to innovate audio at this time.
It's not viral, it's not really shareable that well.
It's you can only do so much with the editing.
There's only so many things you can do.
So I was like, I feel like I need to film these
and just put them up on YouTube and use it as a promotional tool to promote the audio.
And so for five years, that's what I did. I put them on YouTube.
I would cut up clips, put it on social media,
but I never monetized the YouTube or the video until two years ago,
two and a half years ago.
Then I turned monetization on cause I didn't want guys who were running ads to
be in front of my content, selling their Ferrari courses or whatever it was.
So for me, I just wanted to add value and serve and just give for free.
So I invested for five years, a videographer, an editor to do it without monetizing it at
all.
And it was probably one of the best decisions I did because now we have over a thousand
videos on YouTube that are constantly searchable and shareable and adding value to people. Yeah that's
amazing you're doing amazing things on YouTube and you may not know this but I
have a podcast network so I represent like 20 different self-improvement and
business shows and I just presented at the IAB up front and my whole
presentation was about the fact that podcasts are not audio only.
They're multi-channel now.
You shouldn't focus audio first even for your ads.
You should be promoting across YouTube, podcasts, live streams, even paid live events,
which I know that you also do as well.
So really cool to see you pioneering once again in the podcast space.
So I'd love to understand, when did you first start getting traction with your podcast?
Like how long did it take you
to get traction with your podcast?
My first year going all in,
promoting every single week,
on every channel of marketing efforts that I had,
I got only 750,000 downloads total in my first year.
And that was every day promoting everywhere.
Second year I had a million and a half downloads.
Third year I think it was like three and a half
or four million or something like that.
And so I feel like it took like years really
for me to get certain types of scale.
Two years ago I think we had a few hundred million downloads
in one year, but it took many years for that to scale up
It takes time and I think that's why I tell a lot of people like don't do a podcast unless you're committed to doing it
Without getting any downloads and any results for years if you think you're gonna make money and get millions of downloads right away
It's just not gonna happen. So you got to do it because you really enjoy it
You really love it. You feel like you're called to, to share something in the world
and in your unique perspective.
Yeah, it was a struggle, but at the same time there was traction in the sense
that the community loved it and they were talking about it and they were raving
about it.
So there was a small community that was really growing.
It just wasn't this mass scale for years.
community that was really growing. It just wasn't this mass scale for years.
Yeah. I mean, 750,000 in the first year is still in today's standards now is really good. So it sounds like you were doing good from the start. But now we get that in like a couple of days,
you know, so. Yeah, it's totally different now, but 10 years later, right?
Yeah, exactly. Okay. So like you said, your podcast reaches hundreds of millions of people
now every single month, and you've had a lot of said, your podcast reaches hundreds of millions of people now every single
month and you've had a lot of inspiring individuals.
We've had a lot of crossover and guests.
Your guests are even bigger than mine and you launched a third book recently where you
included some of the learnings that you got from these guests.
It's called The Greatness Mindset.
And so now that you're 10 years into your journey or more, in terms of being an entrepreneur and a podcaster,
what is your working definition of greatness?
It's really discovering the unique gifts and talents
that are within you.
And in that discovery, pursuing your dreams and goals
in that pursuit, making an impact on the people around you.
That's for me what it is.
It's like, what's the unique talents and gifts we have,
figure those out over our journey,
try to help as many people as possible
on the pursuit of our dreams and goals.
And I know a big key point in your book
is finding a meaningful mission.
And so I'd love to understand
what your meaningful mission is
and how you went about developing it.
It's to serve a hundred million lives every single week
to help them
improve the quality of their life.
And how I came about that was probably three years into the podcast as I was
building and growing it, I didn't know what it was for me.
I was like, why am I doing this?
What's the purpose?
What's the reason?
What's the, why am I getting up every morning and working hard on this thing?
And then I got clear on it.
I was like, well, what do I want to accomplish?
What do I want to, how do I want to serve people?
And how many people do I want to serve?
I would ask other people this question.
I would say, what do you want?
I want to change the world.
I want to make billions of dollars and all these different things.
And I was like, okay, changing the world.
Everyone says I want to impact the world.
And I was just like, all right, that's hard to quantify.
And so for me, I was like,
what is something that I could quantify? And then I would hear people say, I want to impact
billions of people. And I'm like, okay, yes. And you're just getting started. So it just seems
too far away. And so I said, I want to reach a hundred million lives. And then we did that in
one year and I said, okay, I want to do it every week. I want to reach a hundred million lives a
week. And so I was like, all right, that's, that seems like a big stretch, but it's
a quantifiable number and it will force me to get creative, get resourceful.
It'll force me to overcome my fears and insecurities that hold me back.
It'll force me to develop new skills and talents to think beyond where I'm
currently at so that I could potentially
achieve that goal one day.
And so it just excited me and it seemed far away.
It gives me something to measure and it gets me something to be excited about every day.
Yeah.
So it's not too unrealistic, but it's still pushing you and pushing your boundaries.
Absolutely.
So in terms of this mission, I noticed that you didn't say,
I'm a podcaster who does this, or I'm an author who does this,
or any other label that I could stick on you.
Why is that?
When I focus on the mission, which is service,
there can be different mechanisms that can do it.
If podcasting dies tomorrow, then I don't want to be, well,
I'm only a podcaster now, I can't service the mission anymore with this
mechanism because the mechanism is gone. And there's always a message within the
mechanism to serve the mission. And so the message will continue to evolve and
expand, whether it's packaging content and
storytelling in a book and giving tools and resources so people can consume it this way,
whether it's audio, whether it's video, whether it's AI, it's always going to evolve and expand.
But there's a mission and then you got to figure out what are the mechanisms that will
serve you in accomplishing the mission's goal, which is 100 million lives weekly.
And then there's a message.
What is the message that you're going to use and share?
Am I sharing the message?
Is it audio?
Is it video message?
Is it a written message?
Is it other people's messages?
How can I distribute that message
through the mechanisms to serve the mission?
And so I'm just trying to think of what are the things
that excite me that I'm good at, that I'm talented at,
that I enjoy doing those mechanisms,
sharing the message through those mechanisms
to get to the mission faster.
That's what I think about.
I haven't mastered it.
I'm not, I don't feel like I'm close to figuring it out,
but we have something we can measure every single week
to support us in getting there faster.
I think that that makes a lot of sense.
I know when I think about myself and my mission,
I always say, I want to be a positive voice
for my generation and my voice can be on podcasts,
on live streams, in a book, wherever it is.
That way I don't have to pigeonhole myself
to one thing as things evolve.
Because like you know, podcasting,
might not is already evolving so much.
It's not really what it was even like we were talking about 10 years ago.
Let's hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors.
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So let's talk about something you speak about in your book called sweet spots.
And you say this can help you figure out what your meaningful mission is.
What is a sweet spot exactly? and how do we discover it?
Yeah, it's really figuring out the talents that you have,
the skill sets you have, it's figuring out what makes you unique.
And then how can I go profit from these talents?
How can I go monetize these talents?
What are the tools and the things available for me to do these things?
When we figure out those two areas, I feel like there's a sweet spot there in
between that, that we could take action on.
And for me, again, it was, I didn't think I had a lot of talent.
I didn't think I had a lot of skill, but I was curious and I go, how can
I use this talent of curiosity?
Is this a talent?
I didn't think it was, but I was like, there's a hidden talent of curiosity there.
So how can I use this to make money and to make an impact?
Okay.
I don't have to be the voice.
I can interview people.
I didn't know how to use video or how to use audio at the time, but I was like,
these are tools available out there.
How can I use these tools and ask questions?
Can I make money around this?
I have no idea, but the more I did it, the more I showed up and was of service to people,
I was able to monetize these things.
And so for me, I didn't know the path,
but I started to ask myself, what are my talents?
What are the things I'm really good at?
What are some mechanisms out there
that I could start tapping into?
And then how can I just take action consistently around this
so that I can figure out how to make a living
doing the things I enjoy doing.
I love that.
I think that is really great advice.
And another piece of advice that I really liked
in your book is this idea of the perfect day itinerary.
And this will really help us get into what you call
a greatness mindset.
So first of all, what is a greatness mindset?
And then can you go over this exercise
of a perfect day itinerary?
Well, on page 204, I have a graph, I have a chart and I don't know if we got you a
book or not, but there's a, there's a graph here for people.
Sorry, 201.
And I show the difference between a greatness mindset and a powerless mindset.
And so a lot of people live in a powerless state and it doesn't mean they're in a
powerless state all the time, but they might have one or two areas that make them feel more powerless than powerful.
And so I'll just share these six categories of a powerless mindset versus a greatness
mindset and use this as an assessment.
So if you're listening or watching, just ask yourself, okay, am I doing any of these things?
If so, it may feel like you are powerless in your day to day or your decision
making, or you feel like there's a weight on your shoulders.
It's probably because of one of these six things are happening.
So a powerless mindset occurs when you lack a meaningful mission.
So when I was in living on my sister's couch for a year and a half, and I was
in a cast and had a surgery and didn't know what I was gonna do in my life,
I lacked a meaningful mission and I felt powerless.
I was like, who am I?
What's the point?
What am I doing here?
I felt very powerless.
People think they need to get it all figured out
like for the rest of their life
and it's really season by season.
Like what is the mission of this season?
This season can be for the next six months, the next six years,
the next whatever. We don't have to define.
I need to know what I'm going to do for the rest of my life.
It's what is this season's calling and getting clear on the
meaningful mission will make you step into a greatness mindset
versus a powerless mindset.
So when you lack a meaningful mission, you're going to feel
powerless. You're not going to feel as courageous, as strong.
You're not going to have belief in yourself when you're in this state.
The second thing is you're controlled by fear.
A lot of people are consumed by fear and there's three types of fear that
causes to doubt ourselves.
The first one being the fear of failure.
The second one being the fear of success.
Believe it or not, almost 50% of people are just as afraid of their own success as they are their own failure.
And the third main fear that causes us to doubt ourselves is the fear of
judgment, people's opinions.
And this causes us to be crippled by making decisions by acting courageously on our dreams.
I don't know, Holla, if you've ever asked someone,
what is your goal and what's your dream?
And they say, I want to launch my own podcast.
I want to write a book.
I want to do, start a business.
I want to get into a relationship, whatever it is.
And you ask them, how long have you been thinking about this?
And people say, five years, seven years, 20 years.
I've been wanting to write that book.
And one of those three fears holds them back,
the fear of failure, the fear of success
and the fear of judgment.
And so these are factors that cause people to hesitate,
to not take that step forward.
And so we got to understand what's the root
of one of these three fears
that we all have faced at different times. There is a root underneath those fears and typically the
root is I am not enough. And when we believe I am not enough, we are going to
allow one of these three fears to run our lives as opposed to us running
through them and beyond them. So when we are controlled by fear, we are powerless.
We are in a
powerless state. We're saying this has power over me so I'm not taking action.
The third thing is crippled by self-doubt. Fear and self-doubt play hand
in hand. When we are crippled by, controlled by fear, we usually have an
insecurity. I'm not going to be enough so my self my self doubt is holding me back. I am therefore powerless to these opinions, these beliefs.
The fourth thing, I don't think a lot of people talk about this in the different
habit mindset success books of the world.
The fourth thing is that they conceal past pains.
So for 25 years, I held onto a pain and secrets that no one knew about me.
I was sexually abused when I was a kid and no one knew it. And I was terrified. I concealed this past
pain. It was like a poison running through my psyche, my body, my heart, my energy, everything,
because I was ashamed. And I thought if people knew this about me, no one would accept me or love me and I'll die
if they actually knew this about me. That was the story running through my mind constantly.
And I was afraid of the opinions and judgments of others. That was my biggest fear. I was not
afraid of failure or success, but people's opinions crippled me because I had this shame
and guilt inside of my soul. And when we conceal past pains,
I'm not saying you need to say everything publicly to the world,
but when you're holding onto something that is a poison inside of you,
it will make you feel powerless.
You will not be stepping into the greatness mindset with this inside of you.
So we've got to learn to heal. Most of my book is about healing.
It's a Trojan
horse for processing, healing, and getting out the poison inside of us so that we can thrive
at the highest levels. Most of these books don't talk about revealing past pain, but I just,
from all the research and the 10 years of doing this, this is the path. It is the path to achieving greatness is by setting yourself free emotionally and psychologically
The fifth thing is being defined by the opinions of others. This is something I mentioned already a couple times
When we are defined by people they have control over us
They control our decisions and our actions because we're so concerned about their opinions
so therefore you are powerless if someone else is controlling you.
And the sixth thing is you drift towards complacency.
I'm not saying you need to be striving to be making more
and doing more all the time, but I just feel like when we are drifting,
when we are wanderers and we aren't improving or growing in some area
of our life,
we feel powerless. These six areas of your life.
I would ask everyone to do an assessment, a self-assessment and say,
is there any one of these things that's happening for me right now? Or maybe causing me to doubt myself more. If so,
there's a way to break through them. You have the awareness now,
then we've got to make a decision and a commitment to break
through to get into the greatness mindset.
The greatness mindset is the six opposite.
It's driven by a meaningful mission.
You heard mine.
Impact a hundred million lives every single week.
I'm driven by that and it's meaningful for me.
It gives me a direction.
It gives me a place to go towards that I can measure that excites
me. It doesn't mean it's not challenging at times. It doesn't mean I don't go through pain and
hardships and certain agony at moments, but at least I know where I'm heading. The second thing
is you turn the fears into confidence. Fears are going to come at different stages and seasons.
As we unlock new potential, there's going to be a new fear and uncertainty. So we have to keep driving into the fear turning into confidence.
You overcome self-doubt is number three.
I'm supposed to letting it cripple you.
Number four, healing past pains, not concealing them.
When we heal, we become greater than our past powerless self.
The fifth thing is creating a healthy identity.
Most of us, Hala, say a lot of negative things to ourselves,
unconsciously and outwardly.
When someone compliments us at times, we diminish it.
We say, no, it's not me.
We put ourselves down and our body remembers and our body listens to the
words and the thoughts that we have.
So we must shift that into a healthy identity.
And the sixth thing is taking action with a game plan.
I'm not saying you're going to accomplish all your dreams and goals if you do these
things, but you're going to feel a lot greater when you do.
And you're going to have a deeper sense of peace, harmony, and alignment inside of
your soul when you step into these things, as opposed to being in the power of this
mindset.
That was an amazing recap.
So I wanna dig into some of those ideas.
We can put a pin in the Perfect Day Itinerary
where you can get back to it.
So let's talk about overcoming fear.
So I know you're an athlete
and so the fear of failure was something
that you have to deal with all the time.
When you play a sport, you either win or lose
and it's basically a 50-50 chance every time.
So how did being an athlete help prepare you in business
when it came to fear of failure?
I never was afraid of failure because in sports,
I was taught that failure is the pathway to success.
So for me, I knew that missing a shot didn't make me a failure.
It just means I needed to practice better technique.
I need to learn better.
I need to become bigger, faster, stronger.
So it's all information was all feedback.
Failure was always feedback information telling me what's not
working yet and how to get better at the thing.
So for me, it wasn't about failure because I understood through
coaching and
through sports that you have to fail in order to succeed. There's no way to not fail in
order to succeed. So if you want success, this is the pathway. It's about reshaping
what it means to you. A lot of people have a deeper meaning. If I lose or if I miss the
shot or if I failed, then I am a failure.
And I never identified with that as me being the failure. I was just like, oh, I wasn't
prepared enough. Oh, I need to get faster. Oh, I need to get stronger. I need to have
better technique. I need more reps. I didn't like the feeling of failing or losing. I hated
it. But it also drove me to get better.
Success was not something that I was afraid of either, but most
people are afraid of success.
And I didn't understand this.
When I started doing the research 10 years ago and asking people in large
rooms, I'd say, how many people are afraid to fail?
Most people would raise their hand.
And I'd say, how many people in the room are afraid of success? And over 50% of the room would still raise their hand. And I'd say, how many people in the room are afraid of success?
And over 50% of the room would still raise their hand.
And I was always like, what?
Because you wanna be successful, but you're afraid of it?
So why would success come to you when you're afraid of it?
You're resistant to it, you are scared of it,
and yet you want it?
You sound like a clingy girlfriend
who wants to be in a relationship,
but's anxious and scared to be open
and emotional and vulnerable,
but is needing your attention all the time
or whatever it might be.
If you wanna be successful, you cannot be afraid of it.
And I didn't understand, it didn't make sense to me,
but then it started to make sense
the more I asked people questions over the last 10 years.
And really, when people become more successful, unfortunately, there's usually a couple people
in their family or their close friends circle that is not accepting.
Some people are like, you're amazing, keep going, high five, you got this.
But there are some people close to us that start to pull away, that think, huh, what
are you doing? Are you better than us? Come back here.
Come be comfortable, safe.
Don't keep learning and growing and expanding beyond your reach.
That makes me feel uncomfortable. When you leave the tribe to go for success,
not always the tribe is supporting of that journey you're going on.
And that is a big factor for a lot of people like who are married or their parents don't want them
to do that or whatever it might be,
when you wanna grow and go beyond something,
it can be scary for others.
And you want community and love.
And if you're leaving to go after something
or if that's what it looks like,
then you may not get that love and attention
and affection anymore.
So it made sense to me.
And over my journey, I lost a lot of friends, a lot of friends that I thought
we were going to be friends forever.
Just stopped returning my calls, just, uh, you know, weren't as supportive
for jealous of my success or whatever it might be.
And it was sad and it hurt for a long time, these different stages.
But I learned that's part of the process if you're going to grow and others aren't in
alignment with your journey.
It's important to find people in your friend circle who support your success so they can
grow with you as well.
Another fear that success has with a lot of people is the weight.
There's an amazing documentary called The Weight of Gold, which is about Olympic gold medalists who commit suicide, go through extreme depression,
become addicted to drugs after they win the gold medal and about all of the suffering that gold
medalists have afterwards. They were happier before they won the gold medal.
And it documents the lives of all these people
that have committed suicide within a year or two
after winning gold.
Going after the gold they had their entire life,
they win it.
And then they die, they commit suicide,
become drug addicts, they suffer, and they lose it all.
In the documentation, there's this immense pressure
that if you are not prepared to handle the fame, everyone talking about you, the success,
being at the top of the mountain, and now needing to maintain that level of success,
is an extreme pressure. And that's why you see a lot of people go bankrupt after they make a lot of money.
That's why you see a lot of lottery winners who make a lot of money, go
through death or go bankrupt as well within a couple of years.
And you see people that exit big companies, sometimes losing it all quickly.
Because if you're not emotionally and mentally prepared for the
success, you will sabotage it.
That's why healing past pain is so important because you can win and succeed and make money.
But if you have pain in your chest, guilt, shame, insecurity, all these things, that doesn't go away
until you heal it. And if you heal it on the journey, you're going to be able to sustain the
success in a different way and maintain it.
I wasn't afraid of those things because I wanted to be successful.
I wanted the weight.
I wanted the pressure.
It was challenging at times, but I wanted it.
For me, it was the fear of, um, judgment.
That was the thing that, that crippled me.
So when I was successful or growing or whatever, and I would get nasty
comments online about stuff, it was almost as if I had to defend my life. that crippled me. So when I was successful or growing or whatever, and I would get nasty
comments online about stuff, it was almost as if I had to defend my life.
With these comments and had to reply to everyone.
And I was so worried about what they would think about me.
That's the thing that got me in trouble or crippled me until I
learned to heal past pains until I learned to realize I am enough.
It's okay.
People are going to have opinions about me.
I can't please everyone.
I'm not going to conform to everyone's opinion.
That was part of the process for me.
Yeah, I love that.
This is really, really interesting stuff.
I feel like I haven't really heard any material
about this fear of success the way that you described it.
So I know you mentioned that judgment
was something that really got to you.
And I know personally for me, when people like doubt me
or say anything bad about me, I tend to take like,
oh, I'm gonna like, I'll show them, right?
I'll do this.
I'll become, you know, a famous podcaster.
I'll, you know, start a million dollar business
and prove them wrong.
And I kind of use this underdog chip on my shoulder
as a way of motivation.
But I understand from you
that that can be pretty unsustainable.
It can be an amazing driver.
And it's what I did my whole life.
It's because I was picked last on sports teams.
And so I said, I'll never be picked last again.
I'm always going to be the most valuable person
on every sports team.
And it drove me to train six hours a day as a kid
and not play video games,
but go outside and play sports all night
until I had to come home.
Because I was like,
I'm never gonna experience this pain again.
And I'm gonna prove everyone wrong.
And I did it.
I'd prove people wrong.
And I felt empty, unfulfilled.
And I felt like exhausted, drained, emotionally frustrated, resentful
and all these anger emotions inside of me that continue to drive me until 10
years ago I realized this is not sustainable. It got me external results
but left me feeling completely emotionally bankrupt and it can only
last so long until things fall apart.
Your relationships, your business, something which everything
fell apart for me 10 years ago.
That's one of the reasons why I got into this show starting this
because I was like, I need to learn how to heal.
I need to learn how to not be driven by my ego.
It's one of the reasons why I called it the school of greatness.
I didn't call it the Lewis Howe show.
I was like, my ego. It's one of the reasons why I called it the school of greatness. I didn't call it the Lewis Howe show. I was like, my ego needs to die.
I'm so worried about other people's opinions and proving people wrong.
And that's what's causing me pain.
Sure, that chip got me results and got me credibility and got me on stages and helped
me make money.
But why am I emotionally exhausted?
The ego must die.
And 10 years ago, I started to kill my ego and not make it about me.
And I started to put the light on everyone else, shine the light on
everyone, make it less about me, be of service, not about me being successful.
And it started to shift.
And by no means did I do it perfectly.
And I still made mistakes and stumbled along the way.
But that intention of letting go of my ego allowed me to thrive. Now it's a dance because in a world
of personal branding and being a host and being an author and writing books and you're being on the
cover of magazines and stuff like this, you've got to learn to build a brand, but not believe,
you know, like you're the best thing in the world and how to continue to be of service.
And that's why I try to focus constantly to remind myself, this is not about me and my
success.
This is about us and the service we have on the world.
And when I do that, I feel a lot more harmony and peace
than when I say it's all about me.
So there's a dance because in marketing,
you've got to promote things.
You've got to promote yourself.
You've got to promote your name.
You've got to promote your brand.
But I think internally, you've got to remind yourself
this is about service.
Yeah, I totally agree.
I always say, especially for anybody who wants to get
into the podcast world or develop a personal brand,
you've really got to be of service and have pure intentions.
It shouldn't be about making money. It shouldn't be about being famous.
If you have these pure intentions of helping other people, everything sort of falls into place as long as you take the actions.
We'll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors.
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So I wanna talk about identity for a minute.
So you talk about this idea of establishing an identity.
I think we've both interviewed Benjamin Hardy
and he talks about this idea of future self.
And that was one of my favorite conversations
that I've had all year.
You're not your past self, you're not your future self.
You just have this current moment to take action
and close that gap between who you are now
to who you wanna be, your future self.
So talk to us about this idea of identity that you bring up in your book and what your thoughts are
around that. Yeah, just last night I was doing a session with my therapist and the conversation was
what do I want my 50 and 60 year old self, 90 and 100 year old self to say to me right now about the decisions I've been making on
a daily basis.
Cause I've been very focused on my health and almost making it a full time job.
Not in the sense of I'm spending 10 hours a day on my health, but I'm thinking and intending
it to be optimized in a level that I've never fully done in the last 10 years.
Now I've also been a professional athlete and I've trained hard and all
these things, but just being very intentional about nutrition, sleep,
recovery, working out and tracking and measuring it in a different way than
I have before.
And I was having a conversation with my, I'm 40 now, and I was having a
conversation with myself as I'm 40 now, and I was having a conversation with myself
as my 50 year old.
So I don't know if you can go,
stay with me for a moment,
but I was in the future having a conversation
with my current self at 50 today.
Then I went in the future at 60
and had a conversation with myself today.
Then I went to 90 and 100 and I told myself, and I imagined the feeling that I had as 50, 60, 90 and 100 and the appreciation I was telling 30 year old and I'm flexible and I'm strong and I'm running
marathons and I'm lifting heavy weights and I've got muscle and I'm flexible and all these things.
I've got all the capacities as a 30 year old at 50 and 60. At 90 and 100, I was saying thank you
for taking care of me at 90 and 100 today at 40 by making these decisions.
Because look at us, there's sadness all around us, unfortunately, because your friends are dying.
Your friends are getting hip replacements.
But you took care of us when it was uncomfortable, when it was challenging, when it was hard, when it wasn't easy.
You said you were thinking
about me and us at 90 and 100.
So I was having these conversations with myself last night doing these exercises, which allows
me to be intentional about my decisions today, to not be so strict and hard on myself, but
to be really intentional and deliberate about how I want to feel in the future.
And I was having this multi-time dimensional conversation
with self from the future and now all last night.
And I just think that's an important strategy or exercise
that we should be thinking about our futures
and making decisions today based on what will make
our future self proud.
Yeah. Okay.
One more last question about your new book
and that's how you recommend to get over trauma
and heal yourself.
So I know that you went through a lot of personal trauma.
You were bullied a little bit when you were younger.
You had some sexual abuse that you mentioned.
Your dad was gone to a bad car accident,
probably things we don't even know about.
Like everybody has had traumas in their life, right?
So how did you actually rewrite the script of your life?
What are the things that you did to heal your past trauma?
I feel like I keep doing lots of different exercises,
events, workshops, therapies.
I'm willing to try lots of stuff.
And what I originally did, it was 10 years ago,
I just started opening up about it.
I started talking about these things.
I think the first step is finding a safe environment
and space to be able to share.
I'm not saying you need to post about things
on social media.
I don't think that's wise until you feel like,
oh, I feel like I really want
to do this for whatever reason, but finding spaces and people that you trust to talk to about your
shames. And that's the first step is allowing it to get out of you, allowing the poison to get out
of you. And then there's lots of different somatic physical healing therapies and things like that and emotional
therapies and retreats and workshops and they're all great. I think like everything anything you do
if you go all in on it, I think you'll get some results. If you've seen other people do it that
recommend it and they've gotten results as long as you go all in on the therapeutic experience,
I think it will be serving to you. I've never personally done drugs or psychedelics.
I've never been drunk or high in my life.
So I don't prescribe to something that I haven't done, but I have friends that
swear by psychedelics. I just I'm more afraid of the side
effects the brain chemistry has based on the people I've interviewed who are
experts in the brain that I get worried about that stuff for long term.
But I think if you have tried everything and you feel like you're not getting any results,
then that might be a last resort to allow your mind to relax and open up.
But I think there's a lot of things you could do and it's worth exploring different things.
Okay.
So just circling back on the Perfect Day Itinerary, you say this is a great way to ensure that you have a greatness mindset
Throughout the day. Can you tell us about it? Yeah, there's really two parts to it. It's one
imagining and
Visualizing what you would like to experience on a perfect day if you could close your eyes and think about it at some point
in your life
What would this look like?
What would this feel like a day in a life that you feel like, wow, when you
shut your eyes to go to bed, you said that was a perfect day from every moment to
moment from the moment you wake up, where are you waking up?
What do you see first thing when you wake up?
What area of the world are you living?
When you wake up, is there someone next to you?
If so, what does that feel like?
So putting yourself in an emotional state of all five senses, imagining
that perfect day scenario.
And obviously if you did the same thing every day, it wouldn't be perfect
anymore, but just imagine what that experience, that feeling would be like.
And then writing it down, writing it down, what that dream is like, that
experiential feeling is like writing it down in this detail and description
is part one, part two is flipping the page over and scheduling it.
You know, something I learned early on when I was 15, I joined the
football team for the first time.
Day one in my locker was a piece of paper hanging up on my locker and
every kid's locker that was the itinerary for practice.
And I'm thinking, I'm just going to go out there and kind of run
around and just, we've got drills, but every five minutes was scheduled
from putting on our pads to water breaks to coaches, giving us
talking and giving us speeches to stretch breaks to offense, defense,
special teams to individual practice time.
Every minute was detailed.
It made sense because it allowed us to prepare and put attention on all the things to become great as a team
and have the perfect game to excel in the perfect way when game time happened at the
end of the weeks.
And so I think when we get intentional about our schedule and our time and we marry it
with the vision, the experience of the senses, we can take action on the
perfect day almost every day.
And it's just figuring out how to work into that, how to work into that
experience and that feeling.
And there's again, different seasons and stages of my life that didn't feel
perfect.
I was a truck driver for three months, you know, driving eight hours a day.
I did a lot of different odd end jobs at different times.
It's figuring out, okay, how can I build into it?
How can I use my gifts and my talents at this time to enjoy this, to
experience something beautiful?
And then if this is not for me right now, what can I step into next?
What's the next season to get closer to that perfect day?
That's what it's about.
Yeah.
Well, thank you so much, Louis.
This was such a great interview.
I end my show with two questions
The first one is what is one actionable thing our young and profitors can do today to become more profitable tomorrow
focus on gratitude, I just think that gratitude is a
Universal energetic law that allows you to
Open the doorway for abundance.
When we are grateful and we experience gratitude continuously, our energy
shifts around us, our attitude, our perspective, our way of being shows up
differently and people are attracted to others who are positive, who are kind,
who are generous and who are grateful.
We aren't attracted to people who are ungrateful and frustrated and negative.
That's not an attractive quality.
When you express gratitude from the inside out, people gravitate towards you and you
will create more opportunities, whether it's in your career, you'll advance farther, or
if you're starting a business,
it will be more effortless feeling,
and you'll attract more abundance in the journey.
I completely, completely agree with that.
And the last question is,
what is your secret to profiting in life?
And this could be beyond financial,
beyond anything we talked about today.
It just goes back to healing.
I know a lot of wealthy people who are miserable internally
or who are sick or who are physically overweight
and struggling because they have yet to heal.
And you could build the business and make all the money
and know all the celebrities and get in all the press
and have the biggest following.
But if you are sick emotionally or unwell and you have yet to heal the things that cause
you the most pain, then you're really living in a powerless state.
And having it all but feeling powerless internally is one of the greatest prisons we can be in
psychologically because you don't know what else to do.
You've done everything to become more successful and make more money and
accomplish, but you still don't feel enough. And for me, that's a,
that's a prison sentence psychologically. And until we heal,
we will never feel enough.
And anybody who's feeling that way,
Lewis basically wrote the playbook of how to get out of it with his new book,
The Greatness Mindset.
So make sure you guys go get that.
And where can our listeners go learn about everything that you do?
Lewis Howes anywhere on social media and the school of greatness podcast.
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much for your time today, Lewis.
It was a pleasure.
Thanks, Hala.