Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - YAPClassic: Robert Greene on Decoding the Laws of Human Nature

Episode Date: April 13, 2022

If we want to improve ourselves and build strong relationships with others, we have to start at the root of everything: human nature. Best-selling author and expert in human nature, Robert Greene believes that by understanding the drives and motivations of ourselves and those around us, we can improve ourselves and thrive. In this episode, Hala and Robert talk about the Laws of Human Nature, including The Law of Rationality, The Law of Grandiosity, The Law of Narcissism, and more. They also yap about how humans are irrational beings, how to detach from the control of emotions, how to determine someone’s character, how to harness the “shadow self” for good, and so much more.    Topics Include: - Why Robert wrote “The Laws of Human Nature”  - The Law of Rationality  - Is it possible to become fully rational?   - The Law of Narcissism  - Who is a narcissist?  - What is our “shadow self”  - How to harness our “shadow self” for good - How do we determine someone’s character? - Strong vs weak character - The Law of Grandiosity   - How success can be dangerous - The Law of Death Denial  - Samurai warrior medication technique related to death - And other topics…  Robert Greene is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, The 50th Law, Mastery, and The Laws of Human Nature.  Robert has been featured in The New York Times, USA Today, CNN, The New Yorker, Newsweek, The Los Angeles Times, and Forbes, among others. He has also appeared on The Today Show, CNBC, ABC, and more. Robert attended U.C. Berkeley and the University of Wisconsin at Madison, where he received a degree in classical studies. He currently lives in Los Angeles. Sponsored By: HelloFresh - Go to HelloFresh.com/yap16 and use code yap16 for up to 16 free meals and 3 free gifts Grin.co - Find out how GRIN can help you grow your brand. Watch the demo at GRIN.co  WRKOUT - Visit wrkout.com/yap to book a FREE Session with a world-class trainer and get 30% off your first TWO MONTHS with code YAP 99designs by Vista - Head to 99designs.com/YAP to learn more and get $30 off your first design contest! Constant Contact - To start your free digital marketing trial today, visit constantcontact.com Riverside.fm - Visit riverside.fm and use my code YAP to get 60 minutes free recording and 15% off a membership plan. Resources Mentioned: YAP Episode #43: Decoding the Laws of Human Nature with Robert Greene [Part 1]: https://soundcloud.com/youngandprofiting/robert-greene-p1v1?in=king-robinson-470572546/sets/power  YAP Episode #44: Decoding the Laws of Human Nature with Robert Greene [Part 2]: https://www.youngandprofiting.com/44-decoding-the-laws-of-human-nature-with-robert-greene-part-2/  Robert’s Books: https://powerseductionandwar.com/books/  Robert’s Website: https://powerseductionandwar.com/  Robert’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/The-48-Laws-of-Power-by-Robert-Greene-139177212820049/  Robert’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/RobertGreene  Robert’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robertgreeneofficial/  Connect with Young and Profiting: YAP’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/youngandprofiting/     Hala’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/htaha/     Hala’s Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/yapwithhala/     Hala’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/yapwithhala  Clubhouse: https://www.clubhouse.com/@halataha   Website: https://www.youngandprofiting.com/  Join Hala’s SlickText Community: https://youngandprofiting.co/TextHala or text “YAP” to 28046 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode of YAP is sponsored in part by Shopify. Shopify simplifies selling online and in-person so you can focus on successfully growing your business. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com-profiting. You can crush your fingers and all your toes during a data center migration. You can knock on wood, pluck a dozen for leaf clovers or look to your lucky stars for a successful office expansion.

You could hold your breath, shut your eyes, and say all the well wishes to help avoid cyber attacks. But none of that truly helps you. Because next level moments need the next level network. With the security, reliability, and expertise to take your business further. AT&T Business. The network you can rely on. You're listening to YAP, Young and Profiting Podcast,

a place where you can listen, learn and profit. Welcome to the show. I'm your host, Halla Taha, and on Young and Profiting Podcast, we investigate a new topic each week and interview some of the brightest minds in the world. My goal is to turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your everyday life, no matter your age, profession or industry.

There's no fluff on this podcast, and that's on purpose. I'm here to uncover value from my guests by doing the proper research and asking the right questions. If you're new to the show, we've chatted with the likes of XFBI agents, real estate moguls, self-made billionaires, CEOs, and bestselling authors. Our subject matter ranges from enhanced and productivity, had to gain influence, the art of entrepreneurship, and more. If you're smart and like to continually improve yourself, hit the subscribe button because you'll love it here at Young and Profiting Podcast.

Welcome back, Young and Profitors. I'm your host, Halataha, and today I'm excited to bring you a YAP classic. Today's episode is a combined episode of the two-part series with best-selling author and expert in human nature, Robert Green. I interviewed Robert back on episode number 43 and 44 in October of 2019. Robert has written six international bestsellers, including the 48 laws of power, the 50th law, which he co-wrote with rapper 50 Cent, and the laws of human nature amongst others. I loved this two-part series when I recorded it.

So I combined it and shortened it so you guys can listen, learn, and profit faster. This was actually one of my first podcast episodes that went viral. I got so many new subscribers from this episode, until this day, it is one of my all-time favorites. In this episode, Robert and I yap about how to decode the laws of human nature, including the law of irrationality, which explains why humans actually aren't rational creatures, and how knowing this can help us understand human behavior, as well as the law of narcissism, which states that we're all narcissists, and once we accept this fact, we can transform self-love

into empathy to improve our relationships. In addition, we discuss how we can determine someone's character, and Robert presents three questions to ask when trying to judge if someone has a strong or weak character. So if you're looking to understand human nature and use a cheery advantage, this episode is for you. Before we get started, I wanted to take a moment to invite you to my brand new, slick text community. That's right. Now you can text me directly. If you join this community, you'll get text from me, updates on the podcast, and exclusive app content like giveaways and discounts. It's super fun, and you don't want to miss out.

Just text the keyword YAPYAP to my short code 284046. That's 28046 or visit the link in our show notes. In fact, if you love YAP and you want to make my day today, review the podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and then take a screenshot of your review and text me the picture. Text me the picture to YAP YAP to my short code 28046 or just visit the link in our show notes. I can't wait to see your review or your text, and I hope you join the slick text community.

All right, well, here's my conversation with Robert, a recap of one of my all-time favorite shows on YAP, and I think you guys are gonna love it. You are a master of human behavior. Some even call you a genius of human behavior. You have a canon of bestselling books, including The Wildly Popular 48 Laws of Power. You've partnered with mega wrap stars like 50 cent for the 50th law and most recently you released a book called The Laws of Human Nature and it outlines

18 laws that defines who we humans are. Would you just explain the purpose and reason behind the book and what you wanted readers to gain from it? Well, we all kind of are interested in most of us at least, starting improving ourselves. We realize that we have faults and weaknesses, gaps in our knowledge, et cetera. So we read self-help books, we read books on psychology, whatever. But it's my opinion that none of these books really ever

change you. That basically, you remain kind of a prisoner of these patterns in life that you. That basically you remain kind of a prisoner of these patterns in life that you can't get out of and reading a book isn't really going to help you. And so what my purpose is in writing this book is to tell the reader, okay, look, let's bring this down to basics. Your success in life and your happiness

depends on your ability to get along with other people, to be able to understand them on a deep level, to be able to recognize people who are toxic and avoid them, realize how to get along better and be more persuasive with the people you're dealing with so that they will follow your ideas or be interested in what you have to do or what you have to say, so that you're not always kind of budding heads with people's resistance. So life gets easier, you're not always having any emotional drama. And also, you need to understand yourself better because a big problem life is, you don't really understand what motivates your own behavior and you do things kind of unconsciously

and you get in trouble. So given that, I want to get at the root cause of why we misunderstand human behavior. And my idea is that the people you're dealing with on a day-to-day level, and you can think about it right now, you can think about your boss, you can think about your colleagues, you can think about that audience, the clients or customers you're trying to reach. You have assumptions about them. You have a kind of a shorthand sort of easy-snath judgments, prejudices, prejudices, about who they are,

usually based on your own desires and wishes. And I'm trying to make the point is that you're not really seeing people for who they are. And when you operate in life without knowledge, when you operate kind of based on half ideas of who people are, you're going to make terrible mistakes. You're going to come out with a product that doesn't resonate with people because you don't understand their psychology. You're going to offend your colleague without realizing it. You're not going to get people interested in financing your ideas because you don't know

how to appeal to other people's self-interest, et cetera, etc. So, I want to make this book a game changer. I want to really, really show you in a deep level what motivated human behavior. So, I'm exploring 18 different facets of human behavior. A lot of it is, let's be honest, a lot of it's sort of negative things that we can't control forces inside of us, that govern our behavior that are kind of unconscious, which is our need to constantly compare ourselves to other people and think of, well, what they have and what I don't have in comparison to them, which causes all kinds of problems in the fear of social media. So I want to make you aware of these things that are inside of you that are

motivating your behavior and more importantly how it's motivating the people around you that you can fight for operating life with enough knowledge is never going to be perfect. You can never understand people perfectly. But the thing about human beings is we have a tool. We have this amazing tool which is what I would call empathy. We have the ability to think inside of other people, to imagine what their life is like, to imagine what their experience is like, to imagine what it means to come from a totally different culture, or to be a different gender, or whatever. And by doing this, we kind of expand our knowledge and we gain a sense of intuitive feel for other

people. And this amazing tool that you have, and I explained in the book where it comes from, is like you're not using it. It's like a muscle that's not even being developed. And I'm going to give you tools for honing this empathy, for the ability to put yourself inside the shoes and skin of the people that you deal with. That sounds incredible and for my listeners out there I read the book and it is like truly the ultimate self-development self-help guide that is out there. It's great. Let's begin with the title of your book, The Laws of Human Nature. To me, that almost implies that we're like animals. We have predictable instincts and habits that are unavoidable.

And today, with so much advancement and technology, we kind of forget that we're animals. And what you call our lower selves, the part of us that reacts on instinct and motion as opposed to rationality. The first one, your book, is the law of irrationality. We think we're rational, but we are not. Why is it true that today we have never been more enslaved by human nature and that we are mostly irrational beings? Well, you know, human beings evolved over the course of hundreds of thousands of years

to go well before the invention of language. It's arbitrary to say when the revolution began, you can go back to primates, you can go back further and further to mammals. But let's say, you know, two million years ago, we started evolving in the form that we are now. And in that period, you know, we were feeling certain pressures from the environment. Human beings compared to like other animals in Africa where we emerged, were kind of weak.

We couldn't run very fast. We had no claws. We weren't as strong as chimpanzees. And we were preyed with a lot of animals like leopard, et cetera. And in many different moments, human beings almost became extinct because we were small in number and we were so physically weak, but the strength of we developed was being a social animal and learning how to cooperate on a much higher level. And in this process of dealing with a very harsh environment and learning how to get along

with other people and operating in a band that could be very cohesive and powerful, our brains developed and our brains developed in a very particular way. And one of these particular ways is emotion. So animals obviously feel emotions, most definitely fear. The fear of response is something that even reptiles have. It goes back millions and millions of years. But we humans evolved many more complex emotions than animals experience. And basically the reason for these emotions that we developed was a form of communication

so that before the invention of language, if we felt fear or joy or excitement, it would communicate itself on our face. And other people would notice that. And it was a way to communicate without having to say anything and to help us in our survival. So that if we were suddenly being stalked by a predator, we could all respond together very quickly because we saw the fear that people were expressing, et cetera.

So we've all had the experience where we think we know what we want. We have a plan, we have a strategy. We've spent time working on it. And then suddenly under the stress of the moment or the pressure from other people or a change in circumstances, and the emotions overwhelm us. And all our ability to think straight and all our planning goes out the window because emotions are much more powerful than the thinking part of us. And then the other thing is, when we have emotions, they're not connected to the other parts of our brain.

In other words, we think in terms of words, but the emotional part of us, the limbic system where emotions emerge, are not connected to the language part of our brain. So you never really know, you never can really quite verbalize the way you feel. You wake up one morning and you're depressed, and you don't know why, and you can't rash life, you can't put it into words. It just happens. Or you're angry, and you think you're angry for some reason, you can't put it into words. It just happens. Or you're angry. And you think you're angry for some reason,

but then if you think about it, there's probably, you don't really know exactly why you're angry. That's because these two parts of the brain don't really communicate well. So basically, your emotions are largely governing your behavior. They're governing your decisions on what you buy, particularly, and economists and marketing people understand very well

that your buying behavior is mostly emotional, it's governing your career decisions, it's governing so much of what you do in life. So I'm trying to make the point, understand how your brain operates, understand that you are not born rational, understand that most of your decisions, born rational. Understand that most of your decisions, most of your planning, most of your strategies stem from wishes and desires

instead of actual thinking and strategizing and planning. And if you can realize that, then suddenly you have the ability to step back and go, all right, I'm not going to let my emotions push me around. I'm going to be aware of the roles they're playing in my decision. And I'm going to try and introduce a little more thinking into what I do in life. So that's sort of kind of giving you a long explanation that is perhaps the most important chapter of the book. But that's sort of the reasoning of why I'm trying to make you more aware of who you are and what really is governing your behavior.

In the past, you have said that we have a higher and a lower self. Like previously mentioned, the lower self is the one that behaves like an animal, whereas the higher self understands our innate human behaviors and tries to overcome them and use them to our benefit to optimize our relationships and social standing. Do you think that it's truly possible to transcend human nature and become fully rational, like a fully rational being, or do you think that you're always going to have these emotional tendencies and animalistic behaviors? Well, there's no transcendent human nature because it is our nature. You can't get out of that.

And I'm trying to make a big point is the fact that you think that you can somehow transcend that you can be different from other people that you are not irrationally, you're not narcissistic, you're not aggressive is an illusion. This fact is you are very much a prisoner of human nature, but with that awareness, by being aware that you're not rational, that you have to learn how to become rational, you can then use the actual tools that we humans have for much greater purpose. So you can use your human nature. You have human nature, and it can be used for destructive

purposes for those animal things that you mentioned, or it can actually be channeled in the very productive things, which is becoming part of that higher self. So like those moments in life where you overcame your own kind of selfishness, and you felt like you were actually thinking about other people and acted on that, you felt that higher self operating. It's part of you, and you were actually thinking about other people and acted on that. You felt that higher self-operating. It's part of you and you liked it.

Or when you actually, instead of being lazy and playing video games and taking the path of least resistance, you actually got your act together. And for six months, you were really hard on a project and you made it come together. You felt great. You felt, wow, this is part of me. This is a potential part of me, this is a potential part of me, that's incredibly powerful. So the same energy that makes you aggressive and push people around can be channeled into something productive, it can be channeled

into being persistent, it can be channeled into fighting for a just cause. You must take what you're given, the tool that you're given, and simply use them for better and higher purposes. But there's no escaping human nature. Let's hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors. Young and profitors, do you have a brilliant business idea but you don't know how to move forward with it? Going into debt for a four-year degree isn't the only path to success. Instead, learn everything you need to know about running a business for free by listening

to the Millionaire University Podcast. The Millionaire University Podcast is a show that's changing the game for aspiring entrepreneurs. Hosted by Justin and Tara Williams, it's the ultimate resource for those who want to run a successful business and graduate rich. Not broke. Justin and Tara started from Square One, just like you and me. They faced lows and dug themselves out of huge debt. Now they're financially free and they're sharing their hard-earned lessons with all of us. That's right, millionaire university will teach you everything you need to know about starting

and growing a successful business. No degrees required. In each episode you'll gain invaluable insights from seasoned entrepreneurs and mentors who truly understand what it takes to succeed. From topics like how to start a software business without creating your own software, to more broad discussions such as eight businesses you can start tomorrow to make 10K plus month, this podcast has it all. So don't wait, now is the time to turn your business idea into a reality by listening to the Millionaire University Podcast. New episodes drop Mondays and Thursdays. Find the Millionaire University Podcast on Apple Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Your dog is an important part of your family. Don't settle when it comes to their health. Make the switch to fresh food made with real ingredients that are backed by science with

nom nom. Nom nom delivers fresh dog food that is personalized to your dog's individual needs. Each portion is tailored to ensure your dog gets the nutrition they need so you can watch them thrive. Nom nom's ingredients are cooked individually and then mixed together because science tells us that every protein, carb and veggie has different cooking times and methods. This packs in all the vitamins and minerals your dog needs so they truly get the most out of every single bite. And NAMNAM is completely free of additives, fillers, and mystery ingredients that contribute to bloating and low energy. Your dog deserves only the best, and NAMNAM delivers just that. Their nutrient-packed recipes are crafted by

board-certified veterinary nutritionists, made fresh and shipped to your door. Absolutely free. Nom-nom meals started just $2.40, and every meal is cooked in company-owned kitchens right here in the US, and they've already delivered over 40 million meals, inspiring clean bowls and wagging tails everywhere. Ever since I started feeding my dog Nom- Nom, he's been so much more energetic, and he's getting older, he's a senior dog, but now we've been going on longer walks,

and he's much more playful. He used to be pretty sluggish and sleeping all the time, but I've definitely noticed a major improvement since I started feeding him Nom Nom. And the best part, they offer a money back guarantee. If your dog's tail isn't wagging within 30 days, they'll refund your first order. No fillers, no nonsense, just nom nom. Go right now for 50% off your no risk two week trial at trinom.com slash app. That's trinom and om.com slash app for 50% off trinom.com slash app. trinom.com slash. Yeah. How about we talk about the law of narcissism next? This probably was my favorite topic in your book.

We often think about narcissists in one particular way. People who are selfish and absorbed with themselves and in love with themselves. But you say it's more complicated than that. And all humans are narcissists by our own nature. Why is that? Well, it's a little bit complicated, but basically I explained where this comes from. And essentially, in your earliest years, when you were three or four years old, you don't even remember this.

But you had to go through a period, depending on your parents, this is, well, most people with their parents, where you had to deal with a situation where you're not getting as much attention and recognition as you wanted from your parents. Perhaps there were other siblings, perhaps they thought you were getting older and you need to become more independent. And at that moment, psychologists talk about it, it's a very frightening moment because suddenly you have a sense of you're almost being abandoned into the world. You're not getting what you used to get so easily.

And so what we humans do in that moment in those years is we develop a self, an image of our self, and to self that we can love. We can appreciate. We like our own thoughts. We like our own bodies. We like our own ideas and our own thoughts. We like our own bodies. We like our own ideas and our own preferences. And so in those moments when we're not getting attention as we get older, we can always fall back on ourselves and go, well, I'm really actually a good person. I don't need to have constant

attention from other people. I can go back into myself and be entertained and find that validation and recognition on my own. I don't need other people. As you get older, the sort of self gets more and more pronounced. It becomes kind of like this hard shell. So you'll notice, if you look at yourself in life, you'll notice that you tend to like people who are like you, you like people who look like you, you like people who have the same values that you do, you like people who like the same movies that you like, it's because

you're basically a narcissist, they're giving you a mirror reflection of who you are, they're giving you that sense of validation by reflecting back to you your own sort of image of who you are. And so nobody escapes that process. If you didn't have a self to love, you would be at the mercy of other people. You would constantly feel empty. You would constantly feel the need to draw attention to other people by acting out,

by being dramatic, by playing all kinds of games. And so my idea is that you are self-absorbed. If you look at yourself honestly, when you're talking in a conversation with people half the time, more than half the time, you're not listening to them. You're involved in your own thoughts because you think that your own thoughts are more interesting than theirs. You're involved in your own anxiety, your own plans, your own ideas, because you think that that's more interesting than other people.

You are self-absorbed. Get over that stuff, trying to be in denial. And once you recognize that you have this tendency, you can begin to overcome it. You can then begin to, I say, because reverse where you turn that kind of self-love and inter-fascination with yourself towards other people, and you can start becoming more fascinated, and what other people have to say in your own thoughts and your own ideas. And so empathy, as I mentioned before, is an incredibly powerful tool. It gets you out of yourself. It gets you out of your own little world and it kind of, it's refreshing and energizing.

So it's not only is gonna make you a better social person to learn how to deal with your own self-absorption, it will also help you mentally and creatively and make you happier, more fulfilled person. That's super powerful. And so for my listeners out there, the key takeaway is everyone's a narcissist, even if you're a little bit narcissistic, and you should transform your self-love into empathy. So that's a great lesson. Could you explain to us what this dark side is

and why we shouldn't repress these feelings and how we could spin it to be used in positive ways? Well once again we have to kind of look at early childhood. If you can remember your own childhood or if you've had children yourself, you know that children are like these complete selves. They experience all sorts of emotion. They experience love towards their parents and it can be very angelic and giving.

At the same time, they can be very angry and very selfish, very domineering, and they want everything for themselves. They can be very nice and sweet, and they can also be incredibly aggressive and vicious. Even, you know, boys and girls are included in that. They have aggressive impulses. They feel envies. They want the attention that the sibling is getting.

And they're not sitting there managing their emotions. They're not trying to play a certain self to get what they want. They can't control it. It's just who they are. They feel the all of these certain emotions. They're a complete person. And then what happens is you get older, you you get five or six or seven years old, is you being taught, well, that behavior isn't polite,

that isn't what you should be doing. You really need to tamp down those aggressive impulses. You need to get along better with people. You need to be sweeter and nicer and appear to be someone who is very co-oper, who's very loving and giving. And so as you get older and you feel these pressures, all of that natural energy you have, all of those natural impulses that are built in, that are wired into the human animal,

you repress because your whole goal in life is to please other people as you get older. You want them to see you as this kind of perfect, great person who's not insecure, doesn't have these problems. And so you kind of craft a mask that isn't really who you are, and you wear this throughout your social life. And it can get you very far in the world, but those emotions that you have, that you've repressed in childhood, they don't go away, they're lingering in you. And what you discover, even with you or with other people in life, is suddenly that dark

side, that shadow will spring to life when you least suspect it. You'll get angry and you don't even know why you get angry. You will fall in love with exactly the wrong kind of person for you, and you don't even really know where this came from. You will put all of your money in some investment because other people are doing it. You don't even really know why. And this is that dark side that's coming out because you haven't come to terms with it. It's not part of you anymore.

It's something you've repressed. It's a shadow. And in moments of stress or in moments where you're not very happy or you're not completely feeling fulfilled, that shadow will emerge and it will come out and it will cause all kinds of weird behavior. And so my point is, I want you to be aware of this dark side that everybody carries with them. You know, it could be this dark side can be, if you're an extremely competitive and vicious

person, I know I have that problem. And you're not comfortable with it, because you don't want people to think that you're this scheming and vicious person. But I'm trying to tell you, you need to come to terms with it. You need to accept that part of yourself that you repressed, that child within you that felt these strong emotions. And you need to look at it squarely,

and you need to see that this shadow, this dark side, actually contains incredible amount of power if you learn how to tap into it. So I think a lot about great athletes, for instance, I think of somebody like Kobe Bryant or Michael Jordan. These are people who are extremely competitive. And if they didn't do this competitive instincts, invest the ball in sports, they might get involved in things that weren't very good or very productive. They get a lot of trouble. But they channel

all of that into something very powerful. So you can take that ambition and you can channel it into making it the best possible product into destroying all of your rivals and business and making it. Here's the number one seller for whatever it is. Or you can, I tell a lot of people who are interested in the arts using your anger, using your frustration, using that dark side is really powerful to bring out in your music or in the books that you write, because people are really excited by any expression of the dark side. Look at all the movies that we

watch. Now the television shows were fascinated by Machiavelli characters by the con artist, by people who seem to get away with things. We're fascinated with it because it's a part of ourselves that we can't come to terms with that. We're fascinated with it because it's a part of ourselves that we haven't come to terms with that where we're pressing. So in your artwork or in your music, you need to bring that out. You need to bring out that edge in your own pursuits and life in your own ambitions, et cetera.

And I've maintained that getting rid of that kind of hypocritical need to be so saintly will actually make people more interested in you because you will see more of human and more authentic. That's a really good point. It's kind of like Gary Vee who like curses and things like that, but people love him. So that's a good point, yeah. Related to this in some capacity is character and the fact that you say that character is a primary value that we should evaluate people on when it comes to like working relationships and things like that. So how can we determine if someone has a strong or weak character and how is the law of compulsive behavior related to this?

Well, it's one of the most important things in the book because throughout throughout life, you're going to have to choose people to work with, to be a business partner, to hire, to help you to work on a project, or you're going to be choosing someone to be your intimate partner on some level, and making the wrong choice can destroy your life. It really literally can. If you choose somebody that has a toxic personality, if you choose a deep narcissist and get involved with them, it can take you years and years to ever recover from the experience. So I want you to be constantly judging people not for their charm, not for their intelligence, not for their resume, not for how much you like them, but for their character. And character is something that is deeply engraved in a person.

It means these are the patterns that they have in life. This is who they are. This is their nature and the deepest sense of it. And so I've talked about, there are people with strong character, and there are people with weak character. And finding people with strong character, particularly in a business sense, is the most important thing that you need to do. People with strong character, whether the parameters that come to terms with the two,

the biggest parameters is stress. So, somebody of weak character will tend to fall apart under stress. They'll get emotional, they'll act out, they'll become this kind of child, and you'll suddenly, wow, I didn't realize that person who had that problem, I thought they were really smart and reasonable, and suddenly you realize that they're not like that. Whereas this person of strong character rises to the occasion, they keep their emotional balance,

they're able to not react, there's relatively calm to the circumstances. So that's one barometer. Another barometer is how they treat other people when you're not looking. So a person of weak character, they'll pretend to be very nice to everybody around them. They're very nice to you. But behind closed doors, there's a meanest ahold to their secretaries, their assistance to people who work for them, to their spouse, their two-faced. They wear one face for you and another for the world. And you need to see that

you need to see what people are like, but they're not necessarily around you. People of strong character don't need to do that. They're consistent with that. They treat everybody the same way. They treat assistance with dignity, and they're not abusive and you see that. The other thing is how well people can take criticism. A person of weak character can't stand the slightest bit of criticism. He can take that as if it's a judgment on who they are and they crumble. Of what somebody of strong character you criticize them. They don't take it personally.

Their first reaction is, how can I learn from this? Maybe you're right, maybe I can use that criticism to get better, I'm gonna work on myself, that strong character, and finally, how people work with others. Some of them have weak character, can't work with other people, they can't delegate authority, because everything has to be on their terms, everything has to be on their agenda, they're very weak and selfish. When somebody is strong character, actually enjoys giving other people credit, enjoys working with other people, enjoys the team process.

And so that's another sign of a strong character. Knowing this language and how to read people's character will save you so much emotional drama in your life and will help you avoid the wrong choices and believe me, I've worked as a consultant for people in business for over 20 years now. And that's the number one problem that they have is they hire the absolute worst business partner or the absolute worst lieutenants and they realize that later and boys that cause them problems. So this is a very important chapter for people to understand. We'll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors.

You hear that sound, young and profitors? You should know that sound by now, but in case you don't, that's the sound of another sale on Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform that's revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide. Whether you sell edgy t-shirts or offer an educational course like me, Shopify simplifies selling online and in person so you can focus on successfully growing your business.

Shopify is packed with industry leading tools that are ready to ignite your growth, giving you complete control over your business and brand without having to learn any new skills in design or code. And Shopify grows with you no matter how big your business gets. Thanks to an endless list of integrations and third party apps, anything you can think of from on-demand printing to accounting to chatbots, Shopify has everything you need to revolutionize your business. If you're a regular listener, you probably know

that I use Shopify to sell my LinkedIn secrets masterclass. Setting up my Shopify store just took me a few days. I didn't have to worry about my website and how I was going to collect payments and how I was going to trigger abandoned cart emails and all these things that Shopify does for me was just a click of a button, even setting up my chat bot was just a click of a button. It was so easy to do. Like I said, just took a couple of days. And so it just allowed me to focus on my actual product and making sure my LinkedIn masterclass was the best it could be. And I was able to focus on my marketing. So Shopify really, really helped

me make sure that my masterclass was going to be a success right off the bat and enabled focus. And focus is everything when it comes to entrepreneurship. With Shopify single dashboard, I can manage my orders and my payments from anywhere in the world. And like I said, it's one of my favorite things to do every day is check my Shopify dashboard. It is a rush of dopamine to see all those blinking lights around the world showing me where everybody is logging on on the site. I love it. I highly recommend it. Shopify is a platform that I use every single day and it can take your business to the next level. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com.sashProfiting.

Again, go to Shopify.com.sashProfiting all lowercase to take your business to the next level today. Again, that Shopify.com.sashPro Shopify.com slash profiting all lowercase. This is possibility powered by Shopify. Yeah, bam, if you're ready to take your business to new heights, break through to the six or seven figure mark or learn from the world's most successful people, look no further because the Kelly Roach show has got you covered. Kelly Roach is a best-selling author,

a top-ranked podcast host, and an extremely talented marketer. She's the owner of Not One, but six thriving companies. And now she's ready to share her knowledge and experience with you on the Kelly Roach show. Kelly is an inspirational entrepreneur, and I highly respect her.

She's been a guest on YAP. She was a former social client. She's a podcast client. And I remember when she came on Young and Profiting and she talked about her conviction marketing framework. It was like mind blowing to me. I remember immediately implementing what she taught me in the interview in my company and the marketing efforts that we were doing. And as a marketer, I really, really respect all Kelly has done, all Kelly has built. In in the corporate world Kelly secured seven promotions in just eight years But she didn't just stop there. She was working in I to five and at the same time she built her eight figure company as a side hustle and eventually took it and made her full-time hustle and her strategic business goals

Let her to win the prestigious Inc 500 award for the fastest growing business in the United States She's built an empire. She's earned a life-changing wealth. And on top of all that, she maintains a happy marriage and a healthy home life. On the Kelly Road Show, you'll learn that it's possible to have it all. Tune into the Kelly Road Show as she unveils her secrets for growing your business. It doesn't matter if you're just starting out in your career or if you're already a seasoned entrepreneur. In each episode, Kelly shares the truth about what

it takes to create rapid, exponential growth. Unlock your potential, unleash your success, and start living your dream life today. Tune into the Kelly Road Show available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, Yap fam! As you may know, I've been a full-time entrepreneur for three years now. Yet media blew up so fast, it was really hard to keep everything under control, but things have settled a bit, and I'm really focused on revamping and improving our company culture. I have 16 employees, so it's a lot of people to try to rally and motivate, and I recently had best-selling author Kim Scott on the show. And after previewing her content in our conversation, I just knew I had to take

her class on master class, tackle the hard conversations with radical candor to really absorb all she has to offer. And now I'm using her radical candor method every day with my team to give in solicit feedback, to cultivate a more inclusive culture, and to empower them with my honesty. And I can see my team feeling more motivated and energized already. They are really receptive to this framework, and I'm so happy because I really needed this class. With masterclass, you can learn from the best to become your best, anytime, anywhere,

and at your own pace. And we all know that profiting in life doesn't just mean thriving in business. With masterclass, you can brush up on your art skills or your cooking skills or even your modeling skills, with over 180 classes from a range of world class instructors. That thing you've always wanted to do better is just a few clicks away.

On masterclass, you'll find courses from many app-a-all star guests like Chris Voss and Daniel Pink. I've been taking their sales and negotiation classes and I've been feeling like a real shark lately. I've totally leveled up my sales skills. How much would it cost you to take a one-on-one class from the world's best?

A lot. But with Masterclass annual memberships, it just cost you $10 a month. I have to say the most surprising thing about Masterclass since I started this incredible journey on the platform is the value for the quality of classes instructors. The platform itself is beautiful. The videos are super high quality. You can't beat it.

Gain new skills and as little as 10 minutes on your phone, your computer, tablet, smart TV, and my personal favorite way to learn is their audio mode to listen on the go. That way I can multitask while I learn. Get unlimited access to every class and right now as the app listener, you can get 15% off when you go to masterclass.com slash profiting. That's masterclass.com slash profiting for 15% off an annual membership masterclass.com slash profiting. Let's move on to the law of grandiosity. Basically, the law says that the more successful we get, the more superior we feel and we get disconnected from reality. In the 48 laws of power, you wrote something that resonated with this.

There is nothing more intoxicating than victory and nothing more dangerous. Well, not only is success dangerous, but failure is a great thing. Failure is a great way to learn about yourself. It has a great way to improve. If you've ever tried to learn anything like the skill, like the piano or a sport, and you make a mistake or you do something wrong, a red light goes on and you learn, okay, this is what I have to improve. Without failure in life, you would never ever get to the point where you can actually begin

to work on yourself and improve your own defects. So failure is great, failure is important. Embrace failure is the best learning tool you'll ever have. Success on the other hand is extremely dangerous. And why is that? Well, whenever you have success in life, whether it's writing a book or starting a business on the other hand is extremely dangerous. And why is that? Well, whenever you have success in life, whether it's writing a book or starting a business, or running for political office,

because of various things that I talked about earlier about our self-absorption, et cetera, your first tendency is to go, wow, I'm great. I've got the golden touch, you know? I've really nailed it this time. People really like me. They really respond to it. It's amazing what I accomplished here.

But the truth is, in any kind of success in life, there are contingencies, there are circumstances. First of all, there's luck. You know, if I wrote the 48 laws of power in 1980 or in 2016, I don't think it would have sold nearly as well as it did when it came out. So luck and time, you play a huge role in your success. Other people. Other people helped you a lot in this process.

So it's not all you. It's not all about you. If I hadn't met that man in 1996, who produced my books, I don't know where I would be right now. And then also your education, your parents, all these other people who have influenced you in life, your teachers, et cetera, have helped shape you and giving you the skills that you need, and the masters that you have practiced for.

So your success is contingent on all these other factors. It's never just about you, but what happens when you're successful is you tend to forget about all of that. You want to take all of the credit. You want to imagine you did everything yourself. You're hungry for that kind of self-validation. You tend to discount all the other factors that went into it. And so I've maintained that in daily life, all of us are,

let's say, two or three feet off the ground. And what I mean is, we walk around with an opinion about ourselves that's slightly elevated from the reality. And studies have shown us we tend to think that we're smarter and better and more independent and actual reality. But the discrepancy is never big enough for us to be insane. For us to be, because that guy is delusional, that woman's delusional.

But success will slowly make you go 5 feet, 10 feet, 20, 30, 40, 50 feet off the ground, and you'll start losing touch with reality. And you'll imagine that no matter what you do, it's destined to success. So success will feed into these animal-type properties that we have. It will distance you from the reality of who you are, and your second attempt, your next attempt, will probably fail because you won't be so careful. Yeah, that's great. Thank you for those examples.

The next law I want to cover is, I believe the last chapter of your book, The Law of Death Denial. And this one is an example of humans not facing reality. We avoid thoughts about death. We fear death. We're all in this death denial. Why do you feel that it's important to accept our deaths? And how will our lives benefit by doing this?

You know, we can all disagree about what is real, about politics, about whether some people deny their global warming, although that's kind of ridiculous, but we can argue endlessly about things in the world. But there's nobody can argue that death doesn't exist. It's the ultimate reality. I don't care who you are, you're going to die at some point. And it could be tomorrow, it could be five minutes. So not coming to terms with that is like turning your back on what it means to be alive,

turning your back on reality. It's making you into a distorted person. You're not facing the ultimate thing that is facing you in life, and it's causing you all kinds of problems. A lot of times you feel it like you feel anxious about your life, about things going on, about your decisions, and you don't really know why you're feeling anxious. You have this kind of deep well of anxiety in you. Well, a lot of that anxiety comes from the fact that you're not confronting your own mortality. It's eating away at you because if you try and repress it, all that happens is that it eats away at you in the form of this kind of

nameless anxiety. Where's the other way of, of looking at it squarely in the eye and saying, well, you know, my life is short. I mean, my 20s, but I could be dead when I'm 30. I only have so much time in life. And this is the reality. Well, number one, it wakes you up. It makes you more urgent and desperate. I better get things done that I wanted to get to do. I better put that business together or to cure my children's future now that are not keeping delaying things. I am on death ground.

I better have that sense of energy and necessity at my heel. And the other part of it is, is that being aware of death will connect you to other people in a kind of grander way. Everybody is mortal. Everybody that you know. So look at that person that you sort of take for granted.

It could be your spouse, it could be your friend. And imagine that tomorrow they're gone. And with that feeling, suddenly, your level of appreciation of them will be much more heightened. But look at yourself. Tomorrow, it could be all over. So the things that I appreciate now are much more beautiful, much more heightened. This has to be the last time that I look out my window and see those trees and hear those

birds. So life has a greater intensity, colors are more vibrant. The world is more exciting and intense when you come to terms with this reality. And then I kind of connected to what I call the sublime. We came with the only animal aware of our mortality. And it's the cause of so much of our problems in life, so many of our destructive impulses. And our ability to actually look at death and come to terms with them and accept it and see it as a beautiful thing. And it's something natural and wonderful

is like the ultimate human triumph. It's like becoming truly human. We take our natural fear, our greatest weakness, and we turn into a strength. And I don't know if you know this, but this particular chapter is something personal to me because two months after I wrote that chapter, I suffered a stroke,

and I came within five minutes of dying or within a few minutes having permanent brain damage. And I survived, and so I can speak from real experience, what it means to like actually go through death and come back alive and how it changes you. You don't have to go through that, that's what happened to you with the point here. You can actually do it through your thinking, through your daily meditation, and through confronting this reality.

But it's not something to be afraid of, it's something to embrace and incorporate it into your life. Yeah. So it's almost like you're saying, accept your death and kind of helps you like find your purpose, live life with a sense of urgency, and appreciate the people around you and things like that. It's a beautiful message.

It seems negative, but it's like a truly beautiful message. So thanks for sharing that. Staying on this topic, I know that you have an interesting technique when you meditate that samurai warriors also do that's related to this dust and aisle. Would you share that with us? This is before I had my stroke.

I would imagine what it's like the last day of my life. I would visualize here I am in a bed. That's how I die. And this is what it's going to be like. This is how it's going to feel. These are the people that's going to be around me. Or if it's an accident, something happens. These are my last seconds, my last bit of consciousness. And it has a different effect.

One is it kind of brings the reality close to home and makes it very much a part of your blood and your brain. It's not just an abstract thought, something very real. It also really makes you, as I said before, appreciate things that are around you. So I'm there and I'm going, well, all the things that I take for granted, I shouldn't take for granted because this is what's facing me. It just brings it, it makes it very real as opposed to just this kind of vague abstract thought, literally conceiving what it could be like, what it will feel like, what will

happen to me. And then it's not so bad, it's like a warm thought, it's not a negative thought. And the other thing that it does, and I said, this is probably the biggest effect is, all right, Robert, in 500 years, you will have been dead for like 480 years or something. What does it matter today that you're having this problem that you're worried about this particular issue? It's all very petty.

Nothing matters compared to the fact that it's some days it's all gone. So, if Gijima says it really will priorities of what really matters in life and what doesn't matter, those are the main effects. Now, wasn't that an awesome episode? Robert Green is like a god when it comes to human behavior. He is just absolutely amazing. And the two-part series that I had with him was one of my all-time episodes ever. And one that I often think back on and cite and reflect on. And I'm super excited that we finally got to revisit it today on Young & Profiting Podcast. What sticks out from me from this episode is our discussion about how we can use the dark parts of ourselves like the shadow self or our narcissistic tendencies toward advantage. For example, I have a bit of a competitive side.

This is a part of me that I've tried to hide because I love being collaborative and working on teams and I genuinely want everyone around me to thrive. But sometimes my competitiveness rears its ugly head. So I realize that this part of myself isn't going anywhere. So instead of just shoving it down, I acknowledge this tendency and I think about how I could use it to my advantage. Now I compete against myself. I've turned this impulse into a powerful tool that actually helps me achieve my goals. I'm always challenging myself to become a better hollow than I yesterday, and I have my shadow self to thank for that.

So next time you're quick to shut down an emotion or an impulse, consider how you can harness it to improve your life and accomplish your goals. We can't escape human nature, but if we understand it, it can give us an upper hand. I want to leave you with some thoughts on the law of destiny. That is accepting and appreciating that our time on earth is limited. Now I know that might sound a little morbid, but just like Robert, a few of our other Yap favorites, like Best Selling Author Don of Miller, and former Shark Tank star, and serial entrepreneur Matt Higgins, also talk about how important it is to process our own death. And if all these super smart, successful people believe in the law of Destinile,

I think it's definitely worth a shot in terms of trying it. Realizing that we're here for a finite amount of time can really encourage us to make the most out of every opportunity and remind us what really matters. Appreciate what you got going on and live each day to the fullest. We're all navigating this human experience together, so let's make the most of it. One of the ways that you can do this is by writing your own eulogy. In fact, Donald Miller reads his own eulogy every single morning and it helps make sure that he's hitting all of his priorities. And with that, we're going to close out the episode. I hope you guys

loved this episode as much as me. You guys can find me on Instagram or Twitter at Yapathala or on LinkedIn by searching my name. It's Hala Taha. And if you love this episode as much as I did, make sure you drop us a five-star review on your favorite podcast platform, Apple Podcasts, where we'd appreciate it the most. And I recommend that you go back and listen to Robert's full length YAP interview. It was a two-part series, so about double the length of this. So if you love this episode, I highly recommend Go Listen to Number 43 and 44. We'll put that link in the show notes. Again, thanks so much for listening to the show. And thanks for my amazing app team. You guys are doing an awesome job.

And this is your host, Halataha, signing off. Are you looking for ways to be happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative? I'm Gretchen Ruben, the number one best-selling author of the Happiness Project. And every week, we share ideas and practical solutions on the Happier with Gretchen Ruben podcast. My co-host and Happiness Guinea Pig is my sister Elizabeth

Kraft. That's me, Elizabeth Kraft, a TV writer and producer in Hollywood. Join us as we explore fresh insights from cutting-edge science, ancient wisdom, pop culture, and our own experiences about cultivating happiness and good habits. Every week we offer a try this at home tip you can use to boost your happiness without spending a lot of time, energy, or money. Suggestions such as follow the one-minute rule. Choose a one-word theme for the year or design your summer. We also feature segments like Know Yourself better, where we discuss questions like, are you an over buyer or an under buyer?

Morning person or night person, abundance lever or simplicity lever? And every episode includes a happiness hack, a quick, easy shortcut to more happy. Listen and follow the podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin. Whether you're doing it tans to your favorite artist in the office parking lot,

or being guided into Warrior I in the break room before your shift, whether you're running on your Peloton tread at your mom's house while she watches the baby, or counting your breaths on the subway. Peloton is for all of us, wherever we are, whenever we need it. Download the free Peloton app today. Peloton app available through free tier, or pay to description starting at 12.99 per month. on app today.

Peloton app available through free tier, or paid subscription starting at 12.99 per month.