Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - YAPLive: Comeback Stories, Success After Rejection & Setbacks with Alex Carter, Natasha Grano, Heather Monahan, and Amberly Lago | Uncut Version | Human Behavior

Episode Date: March 5, 2021

Today on the show Hala is joined with some of the biggest most successful women on the planet, Heather Monahan, Alex Carter, Natasha Grano, and Amberly Lago. They are discussing some of their biggest setbacks in their lives and how they've overcome them!   In the second half of the episode, they are taking questions live from listeners who tuned into the Clubhouse event, and they discuss some of their rejections and setbacks in life and get some advice on how to move forward and continue to succeed!   This is a motivating episode filled with tough stories about triumph over hard times, you don't want to miss it!   Mentioned in the Episode:   Natasha's Free Course: https://natashagrano.net/courses/   Amberly Lago's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amberlylagomotivation/?hl=en   Alex Carter's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexandrabcarter   Heather Monahan's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heathermonahan/?hl=en   Social Media:   Follow YAP on IG: www.instagram.com/youngandprofiting Reach out to Hala directly at [e-mail] Follow Hala on Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Follow Hala on Instagram: www.instagram.com/yapwithhala Follow Hala on ClubHouse: @halataha Check out our website to meet the team, view show notes and transcripts: www.youngandprofiting.com

You're listening to Yap, Young and Profiting Podcast, a place where you can listen, learn, and profit. Welcome to the show. I'm your host, Halitaha, and on Young and Profiting Podcast, we investigate a new topic each week and interview some of the brightest minds in the world. My goal is to turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your everyday life, no matter your age, profession, or industry. There's no fluff on this podcast. And that's on purpose.

I'm here to uncover value from my guests by doing the proper research and asking the right questions. If you're new to the show, we've chatted with the likes of ex-FBI agents, real estate moguls, self-made billionaires, CEOs, and best-selling authors. Our subject matter ranges from enhancing productivity, how to gain influence, the art of entrepreneurship, and more. If you're smart and like to continually improve yourself, hit the subscribe button because you'll love it here at Young and, Profiting Podcast. Hey, everybody. This is Holla from Young and Profiting Podcasts. We are recording our Yap Live session today.

And I have some lovely ladies here with me. Today's topic is overcoming failure, setback, and rejection. All of us fall down every now and then. And we need to figure out what we do to when we hit the ground, do we stay down or do we get back up and transform our setbacks into something great. So for everyone listening today, my goal is to give you the tools and insight you need to get back on your feet the next time that you're in a slump or a setback. And that's why I have these great ladies here on the stage with me. All of them have been

handpicked because they have overcome major setbacks in their life and now are super powerful and successful ladies. So we have Amberly Lago, Natasha Grano, Heather Monaghan and Alexandra Carter, or Alex Carter as she goes by, on the stage who are going to be our moderators today. I also have Caroline on my team, who is the clubhouse newbie expert, handling the tech and going to help moderate this session. And as I mentioned, this session is going to be recorded for Young and Profiting Podcast. And the message of today's session is that breakdowns can create breakthroughs. Things fall apart so that things can fall together. So the way that this is going to work, it's going to be a guided discussion.

The first 45 minutes is going to be Q&A between me and the mods. I've got some questions prepared, going to make it as valuable. as possible. And then at the end of the session, the last half hour or so, we're going to invite three people up to ask their question. But we're going to do this in a really special way. So if you're out there listening right now in the audience and you're currently facing a setback, please DM Caroline on Instagram, tell her your story, raise your hand. And Caroline's going to read through those stories and the folks with the most impactful stories that we feel need the most help from the moderators on the stage. We're going to bring you guys up. We'll pick two or three

people to do that around 6 p.m. And we're going to answer your questions and help you as much as possible. So with that said, I'm going to do some introductions around the room. As we do this, please follow all the moderators on stage. Please ping your friends into the room. Please follow the women in business club, support the room and all the ladies here providing their time to you all. So we're going to go ahead with introductions. Let's start with Amberly, and then we can go to Natasha, Heather, and Alex. Hey there. I'm so grateful to be here. Thank you for inviting me up and holding this space for us. Amberly Logo, a lot of people call me The Hope Dealer. I used to be a former fitness model, elite athlete sponsored by Nike and a coach. And that all changed when I was hit by an SUV while

riding my motorcycle. And when I woke up from a coma, I learned that I had a 1% chance of saving my leg from amputation. And doctors performed 34 surgeries to save my leg. That glimmer of hope, that 1% is what I held on to that got me through all those surgeries. And it took thousands of prayers, a lot of grit. And by the grace of God, they saved my leg. And I have reinvented myself. I've been able to regain my active lifestyle and have a new career despite living with daily chronic pain from a nerve disease ranked highest on the pain scale called complex regional pain syndrome. But I love turning setbacks into comebacks and I get my strength when I help others do the same. So I'm grateful to be here and happy to answer questions that you might have.

Amazing, Amberly. You are so inspirational. So I can't wait to. to dig deeper into your story. I love how you also incorporated your setback in your introduction. So if all the ladies can do the same, Natasha, would you please introduce yourself? Hey, guys. So my name's Natasha Grano. I'm from London. I'm a mindset coach to millions of people all over the world, including nine-figure entrepreneurs, A-List movie stars, and athletes. I'm a motivational speaker. I'm named the number one female motivational speaker under 40 in the world. And my story did not start like this. So my main setback happened four years ago.

So four years ago, I was bedbound with an illness after I'd just gone through the most horrendous divorce. I've just given birth. I lost all my money that I'd built up in my career for quite some time. And then suddenly I found myself almost homeless. And then this illness hit me. And I felt stuck. And it was the biggest setback that.

could ever happen, I think, to me and to most people in the space of a year. And from that place of darkness and place of a lacking mentality and a place of loss and depression, I was able to bring myself back through different methods and different mindset trainings that I did on myself to bring myself back to where I am now. I'm now a best-selling author and all the accolades I've just kindly introduced myself with, but I have really been through a lot. So I believe that from what I learn and from all the actionable steps that I took to overcome my own story and my own journey that I'll be able to help you today if you're in the audience. Amazing. Thank you so much Natasha. Heather, would you please introduce yourself? Hi, I'm Heather Monaghan. I was formerly a chief

revenue officer in media. And after 14 years and being named one of the most influential women in radio, three weeks after that press hit came out, I got fired unexpectedly to put it mildly. And I decided to ask for help. I decided to post about getting fired. I decided to step into that shame and obliterate it. And then I reframed getting fired as in good company. And since then I wrote and self-published my first book, Confidence Creator, launched and gave my first TEDx talk, which was promoted to TED, signed with HarperCollins leadership for my next book, was named one of the 40 top female keynote speakers in 2020, and a lot of other great things have happened since those really low moments. So I'm super excited to be here.

Oh my gosh. I love this panel. All of you guys are so inspiring, have overcome so much. Alex, would you please introduce yourself? Hi, everyone. Thank you so much for having me. I'm Alex Carter. By day, I'm a professor at Columbia Law School, where I teach conflict resolution. And for the last 10 years, I've also built up a substantial training business where I help diplomats at the United Nations, executives at Fortune 500 companies, the U.S. government, foreign governments, learn how to negotiate better. I'm also somebody who up until a few years ago saved the best of herself for other people and didn't leave any of it for herself. I burnt myself out living other people's dreams for my life, grabbing the brass rings that I thought I should grab, dealing with a child who had significant medical issues, and I had trouble sleeping because I was so anxious. And one day, I accidentally overdosed on Ambien and drove into work blacked out. And so that was the day that I decided that I was going to put myself first, that I was going to take all of that energy and passion and care that I gave to other people to my students, to my clients, to my colleagues, to my family, and I was going to give it to myself.

and I took time to rest. I needed some surgeries. And while I was home resting, I came up with the idea for what would end up becoming my bestselling book, Ask for More. I wrote that book while I was on bed rest in a rented hospital bed and I sold it in an auction. And last year, it became the first negotiation book solo authored by a woman to make the Wall Street Journal bestseller list and led me, to meeting all of these incredible women who are sharing the stage today. So I don't normally get this real, but I'm excited to do it here with all of you today. Oh my gosh. I just got chills, literal chills of my spine. So thank you so much, Alex, for, you know, sharing that story. I know you don't share it often, so I appreciate you being open and honest with us today. Okay, so we're going to

start off this session with a popcorn activity. Let's just get in the mood to start sharing actionable insight. to know if you guys have a set formula or methodology for overcoming a setback or if you have a top hack for overcoming a setback. And then I'm going to ask, you know, you guys, individual questions based on your specific comeback stories. So let's start around the room again with Amberlee. What's your number one hack for overcoming a setback or if you have a specific formula or methodology for doing so? Well, I thank you for asking. I think it takes a lot of grit. and grace. So I think it is not necessarily about your title or your money or your talent or how smart you are, what college you went to, but I think it is about your hard work and tapping into your purpose and your

why and listening to your intuition, listening to your gut and knowing that everyone here that's here today, I know you have a mission and a story and a purpose that needs to be heard. And I think it's when you tap into that and listen to that and work hard and put one foot in front of the other every single day. That is what gets you to your goals and your dreams. Look, I did not have a computer when I started writing my book. I hand wrote my whole book. Then I went to the Apple store, bought a laptop, had to take a computer.

had to take a class at the Apple store to learn how to use a computer, got a publisher, and then ended up on the Today Show launching my first book, which became a bestseller. And you better believe I took a screenshot of it when it was right next to Wayne Dyer and Bray Brown. And so I'm not the smartest person or the most talented person. I just believe that if you have the guts to go after your dream and you, you keep digging in with grit and give yourself grace along the way than anything is possible. And so I also have a pacer method to really tap into resilience.

And we can get into that a little later too. If you want to do that, I just don't want to take up the floor for too long. But I really do believe that it is that grit that will get you further than anything, then talent, then title or wealth or anything is the grit. I think those were awesome tips. and I'm definitely going to be asking you about resilience later on. Natasha, what's your number one hack for getting over a setback? So for me, I like to use the acronym Give.

So G is for gratitude. You want to give gratitude to yourself and externally to one person a day to attract more goodness into your life. So we all know how powerful gratitude is the highest frequency. So when we apply gratitude in a place of darkness, in a place where you just don't feel like you want to give thanks. That is the time to do this. That is the time to externalize and say,

yes, I am grateful for and make a list of the things which you're grateful for right now because even though you may be going through pain, suffering, depression, self-sabotage, you're going to find things in your day to give thanks for. And then you will attract more joy and more compassion. So the next thing is I. eyes for inspiration. When you don't have new ideas in your life and you're stagnant, you're unable to see beyond after the point of now and what you could do and achieve.

And this is actually a huge cause, University of Depression and uncertainty, which ultimately is keeping you from growing and letting go of past beliefs and forming new ones. And that is the biggest problem with not being able to manifest the things you want in your life is because you've got limiting self-beliefs, which are blocking you from yourself's worth, valuing the same level as the things you want to attract into your life. So you've got to know how to open yourself up to get rid of these self-limiting beliefs. And I use my MBS method, which is meditational, behavioral synchronicity, to do that.

That's a process I'll delve into later. But for now, we'll carry on with give. So you want to open yourself up to new knowledge, ideas, and opportunities. V is for vision. So when I was stuck in my lowest point in my life, I was depressed and I was generally feeling stuck, I would use lots of different techniques, but one of them was called the 5,4, 3, 2,1 technique. It's practiced by both monks and psychologists globally. And with this practice, you can do it any time when you're walking, when you're going to enter a room, when you're relaxing at home, when you're anxious. So I did it when I was feeling nervous. And at the time,

I was suffering from three panic attacks a day because of the illness. It was leading me to high levels of anxiety. And I thought, I actually didn't think I was going to get my spark back. The spark that I have now, this buzz, this excitement for life, this has always been there, but I lost it for this year. And it was the most painful year. And so I used these methods. So the 5,4, 3, 2, 1 means you've got to look for five things you can see right now. So if you're listening in the audience, make sure you're writing this down. Number four is looking for things you can hear, four things you can hear, three things you can feel, two things you can smell, one thing you can taste. And this makes you instantly mindful and present in the moment and it brings your mind and body

into alignment. It's such a simple exercise with such beneficial results. And it helps you instantly regain that control of your mind and your thoughts that are racing and it helps you calm the anxiety. E is for exercise. So you want to exercise not only your body, but your brain. And to do that, You want to be doing ABC, which is always be, well, ABL, actually, in this case, always be learning. And once you do that, you'll start to see optimal results of your new mindset. It's such a great way to rewire your brain to the max along with other tips. So as you are raising the limiting beliefs, like I just mentioned, you want to replace them with new good habits, new skills and a healthy lifestyle. And if you're not learning, you're dissolving.

If you're not evolving, you're devolving. Ideas for this could be, for example, to repeatedly play your favorite motivational track. So I did that when I was overcoming my pain. I listened to a motivational track, Piedenzal, Washington, every single day to work the neurons in my brain and strengthen the connections through repetition. And so that is my main thing, Give the acronym. Amazing, amazing. And just to recap for everyone quickly, like, what does Give exactly stand for? I know it was gratitude.

I just quick. Yeah. So it's gratitude, it's inspiration, its vision, and then exercise. I love that. That's awesome. Thank you so much, Natasha. Heather, what is your number one tip when it comes to overcoming a setback? Oh my gosh, I've had a lot of setbacks. So for me, that's the power, right? The power is in the previous setbacks. A lot of us don't want to look back on our past because it's been really hard and difficult. But guys, even right now, I keep using the quarantine as a very recent setback. And I go back to my journal. And I look at the crazy things I was

writing when this stuff hit, right? We didn't know what was going to happen to the world. I was freaking out. And I survived that. And you survived that. And we made it through. So I really leverage my other low moment in my life. I referenced those journals. I go back and look at the text messages I was sending at that time, and I can see how far I've come, and I become really proud of myself, and I encourage you to do the same. Love that. Alex, what's your number one hack for overcoming a setback? I love all of this wisdom. So I'm a negotiation trainer, and I want everybody here to know that negotiation starts with the way you talk to yourself. And so if you're feeling as though you're at the bottom of a ditch and you're not sure what to do, the way you talk to yourself can determine whether

you continue to lie there or whether you're able to give yourself the tools to start climbing out. So I like to ask myself some powerful questions. These are actually in my book. And these are the questions that I ask myself every day during the pandemic to help me move forward. I think about what's one problem I could solve today? You know, so often we feel overwhelmed. We've got 20 things we feel we should be doing. Just pick one. Pick one problem to solve today.

Think about what you need to get through that day. So I'll write down a few of my needs. Then I turn to what Hala knows that I call the F word, my feelings. And I write down my emotions as I'm feeling them. I don't self-censor, right? I write down all the ugly stuff. And it's amazing how when you write those down, it can be really clarifying and also it can buoy you. You know, you can see them and they can be released on the paper.

I then spend a minute thinking to myself about a prior success, about a time that I faced difficulty before and I pulled myself out and I write that down. And then the last thing I do is what's my first step? So those are the five questions. together I call them the mirror. And these are the questions that I ask myself every morning when I'm dealing with setbacks, when I'm dealing with just, I got to be honest, a lot of stuff, you know, that people have talked about on this panel is like terrible external things that happen to them. Sometimes I am my own worst setback. It's painful to admit that, but I'm just going to say it up here because sometimes the wall that I'm hitting is inside my own brain. And so for me, it's a about turning that compassion on myself and asking myself compassionate questions to reframe that conversation and to beat that villain that's in my own head so that I can move forward with the rest of my day. Thanks, Alex. I think that's so true. Setbacks can be external or internal. Honestly, I feel so lucky to call all these ladies on stage my friends. They're such inspirational,

powerful ladies. Okay, so I'm going to talk about something personal that happened to me and it has to do with the loss of a loved one. So back in May, I lost my father. And, you know, I'm relatively young, so I was pretty young to lose my father. And he got COVID. And that's what happened. And my whole family got COVID. I ended up getting COVID. And then my dad, you know, we tried to take care of him as best as we could. He ended up going to the hospital for over a month, being on a ventilator. We weren't allowed to visit him. And he passed away. And it was so devastating because it's hard enough losing someone, but it's, I think, even harder when you weren't even allowed to see them in the hospital. It was just the biggest slap in the face after, you know, I tried to be such a great

daughter my whole life and he's been such a great father. And then I couldn't even be there his last days. It just haunts me. And so that was a huge setback for me, but I, you know, came out of 2020 stronger than ever. I ended up, you know, really doubling down on my business and my career and my podcast and everything blew up for me, like pretty much right after my father passed away or like right when he was like really, really sick in the hospital. And a lot of people talk about, you know, like not running away from grief. And of course you have to face your feelings. And of course, in order to heal, you have to acknowledge your pain. But for me, what helped me is that I maintained my hobbies and interests. I continued on with my work. I went deeper into

my work because it was something that I enjoyed. I followed my passions. And I used his death as motivation to succeed. And it really helped me. And I basically just fuel, like it just was fuel for me. And I felt like a rocket ship after that. And so I do want to just call out that sometimes when it comes to your stepbacks, maintaining normalcy and kind of like doubling down on the things that you're passionate about can also help you overcome that grief. And the other thing I'll say is, is that we weren't able to give him a proper funeral.

And that was also another thing that. really, you know, hurt me deeply. And that was because of COVID, obviously. And so what I did is I created a video and I got, you know, all these pictures, videos. And I did this like, you know, speech and voiceover. And then I emailed it to all his friends and my family and stuff like that. And that also helped me get over things because I felt like I was able to give him a proper goodbye and take the time to do that. So grief is not the only, when it comes to grief, it's not just about death, it's also about divorce, loss of relationships, health issues. And I know some of these ladies have stories when it's related to that. Before I move on, does anybody want to talk about

how they've gotten over the loss of a loved one? Okay, well, then we'll move on. Let's move on to divorce and relationships. So that's another thing that can be really, really tough. And probably a lot of women here listening today have went through that and have went through divorce or, you know, breaking up with a very serious relationship. And so I know Heather, and I believe Natasha, you guys have been through divorces. I'm not sure about Amber Lee and Alex, but I'd love to hear Natasha and Heather, specifically how you got over your relationship setbacks. And maybe we can start.

Natasha, go ahead. And then we'll go with Heather. So this is such an interesting question, which I never really get asked directly, but it's so important to highlight because I was very trapped in my marriage. And I know there's people out there who are. listening, thinking, oh my gosh, I'm resonating with this. Now, you can go one of two ways. You can either stay in it and make it work. And I really wish that people can come to that conclusion, you know, on their own. But for me, there was no way out. It was an abusive marriage. And I had

no choice but to leave. And that is actually what led to my sickness. I believe that the illness that I had was due to the stress I was going through in that marriage for years. And it was a very painful place, but how did I get over it? I got over it because I first of all built myself up before I left. So I was just a housewife after I had had this great career and I had the ability to go back into it after my baby, but this is when the illness hit and I lost everything in the process of becoming a single parent and everything I went through, all the traumas. And so I started to build myself up, even in the times of being ill, just in those few moments a day when I saw the glimmer of light, the light at the end of the tunnel, I said, you know what, I'm going to do

something and I'm going to get on my own two feet before I leave so that when I leave, I don't need anything from him. And you know, I didn't take a penny from my marriage, not a penny. And then when I lost everything after that, I knew that the universe would bless me with more because my mindset was in the right place. And so I decided to build myself up. I started as an influencer, and I built myself up on Instagram with gaining this following

and gaining this interaction of people and growing this platform ready for when I inserted the brands. And I said, this divorce is not going to harm me. This divorce is right now bringing me down, but if I don't escape from this, it's going to bring me down further and the illness is going to take over

and I'm actually going to have no way out. So I knew the first thing I had to do was to divorce because it was for mine and my son's best interest at the time. And at the time, it's very hard when you've got a child. And you've got a, you know, there's two of you, your co-parenting. It's so difficult. You have to make a decision.

But you have to know what is safest and best for your sanity, best for your well-being. And so I said, this is not going to bring me down. And I continued every day to build myself up, build this career until I was at a point where I was earning enough from my business as an influencer where I would be able to branch out and just leave the divorce and leave and become free and independent. And I did exactly that. And I kept stepping and stepping further and further away from him and towards my future. And every single day was a challenge.

And I cried so much. And it was so emotional. But I just kept taking. steps towards my goal. You focus on the outcome, not the problem. When you focus on the outcome, you will continue to take steps upwards towards it. The universe will start to show you opportunities, places and people that will come into your reality to help you get closer to what you want. And that exact thing happened. I focused on that. And I did this thing. I would focus. Every day, I would take my goal and it's Napoleon Hill technique. He was, you know, I studied him when I was young, he's what I call one of my early mentors. And he would say, write down exactly what you want into a statement and you read that aloud twice a day. And I read it aloud and I wrote

it down. I took it further. I had it on post-date notes around my house. And I would read it every day and I would feel it. And then every single day, I would write down three small goals before I went to bed of what I could do the very next day towards my main goal of what I wanted to do. And so that is over a thousand goals a year. It's no different to putting in three hours a day on your side hustle a day, like I was doing when I was married, three hours a day only when I could find that time. And I would do it and that is over a thousand hours. Your side hustle now becomes your main business. And likewise with the goals, you get a sense of achievement every day, even if it's the smallest thing. And that sense of achievement is what helped me to take steps to know I'm going to

overcome this divorce and I'm going to be a better person for it. I love that. It's so powerful. So many great actionable tips there, Natasha. Thank you. Heather, can you talk to us about how you got over your divorce? Oh, yes. Of course I could talk about that. You know, the biggest thing I learned from my divorce is that I should have always listened to myself. I'll never forget. It was the day I was getting married and I knew I shouldn't get married. I told my then-fiancee. I said, I can't do this. I know that it stinks and this is the day of, my my inner voice is telling me I cannot do this and he called his mother into our hotel room to come basically she got on her hands and knees and begged me and I said okay I put everyone else's feelings

and wants ahead of my own and I knew I made a mistake that day now what people might not know is that I had created a lot of wealth in my early 20s and I lost everything every dollar I had in that divorce. And it was my choice in the end. I allowed, you know, that to happen because we had spent so much money in attorney's fees. And it had sucked two years out of my life fighting about, you know, who was going to get my money. And I just, I gave it. I gave it to him in the end. But when I look back, I could, I would still have all that money. I would not have had to go through all that hardship had I just listened to myself. So I, I will always be an advocate for tuning into the one voice that matters in your life and that is your own. Once we did get divorced, my mother, or when I was going

through the, just kept saying to me, you need to stay married, and it's the right thing to do, and you have a child. And I call this firing your villains. I'm not saying my mother's a villain, but in that situation, she was a villain to me in that moment because she was doing the way my actions. She was challenging my decisions, and it wasn't helpful. It was making me feel guilty, and it was making me second guess myself, all these things I know I shouldn't do. So I told her point blank, I said,

this is not helpful. I understand you can have your own opinion, but you constantly bringing this up and challenging my way of thinking, challenging my decisions and telling me I'm wrong, doesn't help me. I'm going to go ahead and move forward with my decision. And I don't want to keep hearing about your perspective on this.

So every time we talk, if you bring it up and start bad, me about this, I'm going to tell you, oh, got to run, talk to you later. And, you know, that's called creating boundaries. And I created boundaries with her. And when she would inevitably do it again, I'd say, oops, I got to run. Have a great night. Talk to you later and hang up the phone. And within a few weeks, she started realizing that she couldn't badger me about this anymore because I was not going to allow for it. And that allowed me to start feeling a lot better about myself. I think that is so good. Firing your villains, setting boundaries, super important.

It's important to kind of keep, you know, your mental space healthy so that you can make clear decisions about your future, you know? Not everybody gives you good advice, even the people who love you. So I think that's a great point, Heather. Yeah, we have a super unique company culture. We're all about obsessive excellence. We even call ourselves scrappy hustlers. And I'm really picky when it comes to my employees.

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The first thing that I want to ask you is, in those moments when you got into that accident, what was going through your mind at the time? Oh, well, first of all, I was chuckling when you were going over the divorce stuff because I used to have a lot of shame about I went through two divorces. And so I could resonate with everything that Heather and Natasha were saying. So thank you for sharing. And yeah, you know, when I woke up from a coma, and first of all, when you're, you know, on life support, you wake up and you have all these tubes and everything going in your throat. And I was waving my arms in the air and trying to rip these tubes out.

And the nurse was like, oh, no, honey, don't pull those out. Don't pull. And they're like, get her a pen and a paper. And so they got me a pen and a paper. And I wrote down on the paper, you know, my husband's leaning over me with tears in his eyes. And the first thing I write, you know, you'd think I'd write, I love you, honey, or how long have I been in a coma? And the first thing I write is, get off my tubes. He was leaning over the bed across my tubes and I couldn't breathe.

And so I was like, oh my gosh, okay, I can breathe now. And then they tell me they're going to amputate my leg. And running was my therapy. I was the breadwinner of the family. Everything I had ever done was all about dancing and fitness. And I thought there's got to be a way around this. And we luckily found one doctor that was willing to try to save my leg. And laying in the hospital bed day in and day out and not knowing, is this the day they're going to amputate it?

And seeing your leg completely open, it was only held together with these steel rods, I really just spiraled into depression because I thought there was one night. And I know this sounds crazy, but, you know, I couldn't sleep because they would come in and change the bandages every three hours. And the moment that I started to feel myself sink into a depression is the moment that I was watching TV. And there was some infomercial about how to get that Brazilian butt. And I started thinking, oh my God, I'll never have a Brazilian butt now. I'll never wear a bikini. Like, what if my husband doesn't love me? What if I can't chase after my kids?

What if? What if? And I was like going crazy. and what really helped me through that moment was thinking, wait a minute, I have a choice here. And, you know, we all have a choice. We may not get to decide what happens. Things don't always go as planned, but we do have a choice and how we're going to respond. And so I thought, I can go down that road of despair or I can choose to be grateful, like Natasha was saying earlier, I can be grateful for everything that I do have. And y'all, grab. attitude is alchemy. It turns what you don't have into what you do have and what you can't do into what you can do. And so I noticed when I started writing down, I had this little notebook that somebody brought me in the hospital. I started writing down everything I was grateful for. I mean, not just the big, obvious things like I'm alive. I can breathe, not just those things, but I was grateful that I had a view from the hospital. I couldn't go outside, but I could see the sky. I was grateful for every single nurse, and I wrote their name down. I was grateful for my friends that brought me food and flowers, and one person brought me a candle, and I lit it, and the doctor came in and said,

what are you crazy? There's oxygen in here. You could blow up the place. And so I got grounded with gratitude and focused on what I could do. And then I had one of my friends bring me some dumbbells from the gym. And then I had one of the doctors install a pull-up bar over the bed because I was bedridden. I went from being an athlete to all of a sudden I have bed sores. They have to look to make sure they're not getting infected. And I wanted to work out my upper body so I could do something to feel strong, to feel like I was moving in the right direction. So even though I was stuck in the bed, I did what I could to keep my upper body strong because it also made me feel strong mentally.

Moving your body moves your mood. And then I really focused on, like what you were saying, Hala was the purpose that you have after your father's death was you really tapped into your purpose and you were of service to other people. And that really saved me. And I have people tell me all the time, well, how could you be of service when you're stuck in a hospital bed? And I said, well, I could make phone calls.

I could give those nurses exercise tips for how to get a Brazilian butt, even though I was stuck in the hospital bed. So I did whatever I could to get out of self-pity and put my focus on other people. And then, you know, y'all, it's still, it's not like I had all these surgeries and life is good all the time. I mean, I still deal with chronic pain every single day. But I choose to find things to spark joy. I choose to surround myself with amazing, inspired, passionate people like everyone here today. I know you're inspired and passionate or you wouldn't be in this room with us. So I think it's so much about getting intentional about the gratitude, about what action steps you can take for that day,

not thinking about the whole huge picture of like I wanted to run again. Doctors told me I'd be wheelchair bound forever. But I focused on just standing up for seconds at a time. So I still, to that day, do that. I focus on, like what Alex was saying, what can I do today? One day at a time, one step at a time, and really focusing on surrounding yourself with a community that believes in you or sometimes it's just one person that believes in you because that really helped me to have self-acceptance, to accept all my scars and my imperfections as the

battles that I had won instead of, you know, the shame that I used to. I was so ashamed of them. So thank you again for asking that question. Oh my gosh, Amberley, I have a follow-up for you. So earlier, you talked about resilience and you briefly just mentioned that you're still going through pain. It's not like everything is perfect now and you're all like all better. You actually have a disease or a condition. where you have chronic pain and it is one of the most painful conditions that are out there. And if anybody knows you, I mean, I had multiple calls with you before. You would never even know because you're so, you just seem so happy and, you know, in great spirits. And so I want to talk about

resilience. First of all, what is your definition of resilience? And then what are the routines and practices that you use to create resilience and that resilience mindset? Well, you know, I definitely think that the definition for resilience and the dictionary should be changed because it says to bounce back. And I tried to go back to who I was and what I was and what I did. And it just didn't work for me. And sometimes when we get so focused on trying to rebuild what's broken or what has failed, we can't. look at what's ahead. And, you know, sometimes when one door closes, there's a bigger and better window even open around the corner or better door open and other opportunities and a chance

for you to have an even bigger impact or bigger purpose. And for me, resilience is really your ability to find joy and laughter and happiness, even when things don't go as planned, when things aren't perfect, that you can still find the joy in life. So one thing that really helps me, and it's not something that I used, and now everything's just all perfect, and it's something that I use every single day. So whether I'm in pain, whether I'm really tired, whether I have anxiety or imposter syndrome or depression, because I've had all of those things, and some days I feel like I have all of those combined, what I do is I need something like a checklist for myself. And so I came up

with a word. It's called PACER. And it stands for perspective, acceptance, community, endurance, and rest. And so perspective is the easiest and the quickest way to shift your mindset and to change the way you feel about your situation. For me, the easiest way to do that is to like what Heather was saying earlier, is she looks at her failures, and she remembers that and how she got through those times and what she's learned from it, that is one way. I look at how far I've come. I will look at a picture of me in the hospital bed or standing with my legs still swelled up when I could barely walk to remind me that look how far I've come. I can jog now. I can run after my daughter. I can't beat her and run but I can chase after her.

And so another way to shift her perspective is to really get grounded with gratitude. And so every single day before my feet hit the floor, I say thank you, God, because there's a lot of days I wake up and I'm like, good God, it's another day. And then I'm like, no, switch that. Good morning, God. Whatever you think, God, universe, spirit, I say thank you. Thank you for another chance. Thank you for another sunrise. and I always go through my gratitude list.

I write it down and then I have an accountability partner and I text her for the past two years. Not one day has gone by that we don't text each other what we're grateful for. And that helps you feel it and spread that gratitude. Then the next part of PACER is acceptance when you can radically accept what is going on in your life. Like for me, when I was first dealing with chronic pain because this disease is dubbed the suicide disease because it's ranked highest on the pain scale, I started drinking every single day to try to self-medicate,

to try to cope with the pain. And it wasn't until I could radically accept, ooh, Amberley, I think you got a problem here. I think you might need to stop drinking. Was I able to take action steps to get sober, start doing things that were better for my health, better for my mind, better for my spirit? So radical acceptance is really hard,

but that is the first step of really transforming your life. The C is for community, which we've talked about. Alone, we're strong. Together, we are freaking unstoppable. So when you have a community of people, when you've got women that you can count on, and man, I see some men in here too, and thank you for being here. But when I was able to be in radical acceptance and could start to share what I was going through, I realized I'm not alone. There's so many other people that are dealing with the same stuff that I'm dealing with. And when we can come together, you know, I used to think my vulnerabilities, my weakness, it really led me to my strength and a community to support.

And then the next part of PACER is endurance. So, gosh, resilience is so much about what I talked about earlier, the grit that it takes to persevere. And I mean, the perseverance is to keep going to work through. adversity and challenges and rejections and to continue to keep raising your spirits high. And I loved the grit. I love the adrenaline. And the hardest part of PACER for me is the next part is rest. It's R for rest.

And I always thought resting meant quitting. And I had to unlearn that and relearn that if we truly want to be resilient, we have to strategically stop sometimes and really plan things throughout our day, especially as entrepreneurs because I feel like I love what I do. I love my work, but I could work 24-7. So for me, I have to put it in my schedule to rest and recover, in my schedule to go outside and take a break. It's on my alarm to shut off all the devices and electronics and get ready for bed. And so with the perspective, acceptance, community, endurance, and rest, you're able to tap into your superpower of resilience and it will get you through some of the toughest times of your life.

Mike drop, thank you so much, Amberly. I think Pacer is so valuable. So keeping in the theme of health, I know Natasha, you mentioned that four years ago or so, you were bedbound with an autoimmune disease. Again, looking at you, you would never, ever assume that you had anything wrong with you. And you said that you used the mindset of I'm already in perfect health to get over your setback. So essentially, even though you were sick, you told yourself that you were already in perfect health. So can you talk to us about how altering your mindset can actually help improve your real life situations? Absolutely. I mean, look, the first thing that I want to say on this is be it until you become it. Forget fake it till you make it. That's a great one as well. But be it

until you become it. Own it. Just do like I did. When I overcame that sickness and I used exactly that phrase amongst others, you just start positively affirming and believing that you are already okay. And you do it with such a strong presence of belief inside of you. You build this belief, this feeling that you are well, that you are abundant, even if around you, it's not. And that's not the only thing you want to do, Look, I'm a big believer in the law of attraction. Look, my book is a bestseller, and it's all about how to implement the law of attraction in your life in under an hour.

But it's not just about the sort of woo-woo side of it and imagining. It is about feeling it and taking actionable steps towards it. And so what I did every day to shift my mindset was I recognized the areas. So it was every area. It was financially in my love life, in my health, every area it was lacking. And so what I did was I took that and I said,

okay, this is what I'm going through right now, but this is where I'm going to be. So let me step into that. And I looked in the mirror and I literally listened to that motivational track in the background and then I put headphones on and I turned them full volume listening to that all my favorite songs that get me resonating at a higher frequency. And I start feeling good.

And I start lifting myself up because my vibration is rising and elevating. And I'm looking in the mirror and I'm saying, you are fine. And then I would say, I am healthy. I am abundant. I will feel it. And I would imagine it in all its glory. And I would use my meditational behavioral synchronicity method that I created

to do exercises every day to erase the self-limiting belief that was blocking me from the thing that I wanted to manifest, which was perfect health, even just being normal. in normal health. And as soon as you start to shift your mindset from a lacking one to an abundant one, from a broken one, to a healthy one, when you start changing your mindset, because you say, there is no other way. It hasn't worked this way by just suffering and indulging in the pain. It doesn't work. You have to let your mind take, you have to take control of your mind and take control of your body and take control of yourself. And I did this. And from my personal experience,

It healed me in every way. And every day I would just go over these affirmations and feel them and envision them like I was telling a friend and do this method that I told you about. And I would sit deep in altered states of awareness when you're right now, we're in the beta level, right? But I would go deeper into alpha and then into theta. And in theta level, when you're in a deep, altered state of consciousness, I would sit there and I would start to erase these self-limiting beliefs. And from there, I would start to think of the new affirmations, think of the new body that I have, the new health, and all my cells are repairing and all the money that I wanted started to come into my life. And then it actually did. It was amazing. And I would look for opportunities every day that would give me ideas and steps towards the things I wanted. And it happens. And it starts to unfold. It's like a story unfolding. You don't need to wait until a new year to rewrite your history. You don't need to wait for New Year's Eve the 1st of January. I just put up a post about this other day on my Instagram.

You don't need to wait until the first to make those New Year's resolutions and new commitments to yourself. It's a new year every day as soon as you open your eyes, as soon as you open the curtain, as soon as you look outside, and then you say what you want for your day. You don't let the world dictate it because any detail that you leave out, somebody else will fill in. What legacy do you want to leave? So I said to the world, if you heal me, I said to God, if you heal me now

and you heal me from this pain I'm suffering from and everything I'm going through, I promise to come back with vengeance and give back to the world. And I promise I will serve. And if you give me a platform, and I've been God blessed with this incredible platform of millions of people on my social media. And I said if you give me that platform, I will go on to share my story and help people with the method that you gave me. The universe blessed me with. And I said, I'm going to go on and show the world how they can heal themselves with any type of pain too. Amazing, Natasha. What a powerful story.

I hope everyone listening has learned something and feels inspired. I'm going to kick it to Alex next because when it comes to health issues, It's not always those big, you know, diseases that come into our life. Sometimes it's just little things that add up and add up and add up and can really hurt our mental health. And I want to talk about burnout. So you mentioned briefly earlier in the conversation that, you know, you had a breakdown recently from taking on too much from saying yes to everyone. Can you talk to us about the burnout that you faced and what are some of the symptoms of burnout and what steps do you suggest we take to avoid burnout? Yeah, Hala, great question. You know, I sometimes like to tell people that I like to test that the walls are there by smacking into them over and over again. You know, in other words, I expect myself to have superhuman endurance. And so I will just go and go and go and give until some warning signs happen. And I wonder how many people in this room can relate to these warning signs.

One is I find it more difficult to make decisions. And I'm not talking about large decisions. I'm talking about my husband says, what should we have for dinner tonight? And I have a meltdown and say, you know, how should I be expected to make that decision? Or, you know,

it could be that I start having disturbed sleep. For me, you know, my sleep is so, so important. It's how I do and give everything I need during the day to my family, and my colleagues and students. And so if I'm approaching burnout, I start to my sleep suffers.

And that's one powerful way of noticing. I will also then, I find an uptick in my irritability. If I find myself getting irritated at little everyday things that normally I have the resilience to endure, that's another sign for me that I'm hitting burnout.

And if I push past all of those things, then my body gives me a migraine. And I've had a few of these migraines over the past six months, you know, doing everything virtually. And I think part of it is when you think at what our days used to be, I used to have, for example, an hour commute to and from work. And I didn't realize it then, but that was my time. I could call a friend. I could listen to a podcast or blast, you know, some 80s power ballads. And that was my time for myself. When you're working from home, oftentimes you don't have that time, right? You just, or at least I don't, I pack it full of stuff, you know, so you don't have any space between what you're giving at work and what you're

giving at home. And when I give too much, I get a migraine. The first time that happened to me, I tried to work through it. That was a mistake. Now, the second. I start getting that headache, I know I write to my assistant, I cancel my stuff, I take a day or two to rest and recover, and then I'm back to feeling better. So really, Hala, I've asked so many doctors, okay, so how can I deal with burnout? And what I was really looking for, Hala, was like a pill or a shot that somebody could give me, that I could then go back to work. And two, one doctor finally looked at me and laughed and said, yeah, that's not how it works. The treatment for burnout is rest. Full stop. It's rest. Okay. And so what I want people to know, and this is a lesson I'm still learning,

okay, is that when I rest, that is like playtime for my brain. And always, always, always, I come back from rest better and stronger than that. before. Rest is how I wrote a book. Rest is how I pioneered the idea for my business. And rest is how I keep it together to be a mom to my 10 year old and a wife to my husband and a daughter to my sick dad. You know, rest is the building block that enables me to do everything else. You know, I think I'm above it sometimes, but I'm not. And so that's my number one advice. to everybody. If it feels hard, you don't have to be running a marathon or taking your company public to be really tired. It's a tiring time. Okay? It's a pandemic. We have so much going on.

If you are tired, I want you to know I'm giving you a virtual hug and telling you it is okay. You are worthy of resting. Oh my gosh. I totally agree. And I think that this is especially important when people are working from home. It's really hard to separate work from home. And self-care is so important. I actually put out an episode about this recently. It's called Steps for Self-Care in 2021. If you guys want to check that out, whoever's listening to Young and Profiting Podcast right now.

And, okay, we're going to close out the guided section of this session. And then we're going to bring up some Q&A. My last question is for Heather. Heather, this pandemic, we're talking about COVID right now, has brought a lot of downturns for businesses. is people have lost their jobs. A lot of people are conducting business in a totally different manner now and had to pivot in order to continue thriving. And I know that you had to do the same. So can you talk to us about what happened to you during COVID and how you kind of turn that around and your

comeback story related to this pandemic? Yeah, absolutely. Holland, I know that I'm not alone. I'm sure there's so many of us here that when the pandemic hit, our revenue split. And As a single mother, there is nothing scarier than not knowing where your next paycheck is coming from and seeing revenue disappear. So my primary revenue driver was speaking engagements just as the pandemic hit and everything got canceled. Now, granted, there are speaking engagements that have shown back up, but there's virtual engagements. But again, they're not paying at the same level that I was being compensated before. So it was super, super scary. So, the good news is I've been fired, I've been divorced, you know, I've been through hardship before.

So I sort of know the roadmap. So when this happened, I thought, okay, go exercise. For me, I am my most creative and solutions focused whenever I work out. So for you, I would ask you, when are you your most creative? When do you solve problems? Some people meditate. Some people do it in a hot shower. But identify where are you? What's that space? look like because you want to be able to move there quickly when you hit an obstacle. So I had the Peloton bike. I jumped on the bike and I started asking myself, what problem can I solve from here? What problem can I solve that I can charge for? And it hit me, go look at your DMs. So I ran over my computer. I went into LinkedIn specifically and started scrolling through all the messages that I had received. And for a long time, people have been asking me, do you ever offer consulting for businesses? Do you ever offer coaching for clients? And I just always said no, because I didn't need to at the time. I was traveling and didn't really have the time to do it. So I never put any more thought

to it. The other thing I would say is speed to market is critical in any tense situation, take action, even if it's messy action. So I didn't research the environment. I didn't research anything about consulting or coaching or any of it, I just put a post up. And I said, you ask, I'm offering my first ever coaching program launches in two weeks, limited seats available, DM me if you want in. I sold that program out, not having any idea what I was doing, but I just said, I'll stand behind my work. I'll offer 100% money back guarantee and I'll build up testimonials and I'll start marketing this new business and I'll stand behind it and do whatever it takes to win. So I gathered the testimonials. I started building the business. And then one of my clients showed up and we built some rapport. And he said, we'd love to appoint you to our board of directors. And I landed my first board seat. Then during that time, I pitched myself for agents. And I landed an agent. And then I landed to deal with HarperCollins leadership. Then I used that time to write a book while I've been stuck at home. So the bottom line is there is there is always a solution out there. It's just on each one of us to be relentless in our pursuit of it.

I love that, Heather. And you really have crushed in COVID. I mean, I work with you on a day-to-day basis and I see how much success you had. So congratulations on pivoting successfully. And I hope, you know, everybody tuning in found some value in that. So this conversation made me realize that you really need both the peaks and the valleys in order to keep on moving forward. The ups remind you of where you want to go and the downs can push you to get there. So when you have a setback, realize that that can actually give you the fuel to be successful. All right, so we have some folks here on stage who have questions for the moderators before we let them tell their story. Natasha, I want to give you an opportunity to say goodbye. I know you're on the other side of the world and it's

very late. So please say your goodbyes. Thank you so much, Halle. It's been amazing being here on your incredible podcast. I've had so much fun with you beautiful ladies, Amberly, Caroline and Heather Alexandra, guys, all of you, thank you so much. And for anybody listening right now, if you want to reach out to me, please do feel free to DM me and ask me anything that you want, anything I can help guide you with. And I'll let Halla let you know about a free program that I have that will genuinely help you in any area of your life that helps transform you and will help you have that breakthrough you want the same way that I did and manifest anything you want. It's in my bio, actually as well. It's completely free. But sending you guys all so much love into everybody tuned in now,

you are in the right place. And I look forward to catching up with you all soon. Thank you, Natasha. I'm going to put that link in my show notes for her freebie. And Natasha is also going to be on my podcast soon. And so is Amberley. Heather and Alex have already been on my podcast, but I'm sure we'll be returning again. So looking forward to your one-on-one interviews as well. Thank you so much, Natasha. Okay. So Maria, You are the first audience member to come up and share your story. So please share your setback with us and let us know, you know, what you're looking for in terms of guidance. Hello, everyone. So this is the first time that I've been speaking on Clubhouse. So this is a brand new experience. So thank you for having me. Yeah, I had DM'd Caroline my story and I'll try to keep it short. So pretty shortly before the pandemic, a sibling of mine, very seriously.

injured themselves on the other side of the of the world. And I went to, quote, unquote, rescue him. And I have been a caretaker for over a year, helping him with his very serious injury. He transacted his spinal cord. And it has been kind of a really big thing for my family. And he has done amazingly well. It's been a lot of work on my end. And they were wrong with his initial diagnosis. They said that he would never walk again. And he has started his walking journey. And so it has been a really rewarding year for me. Career-wise, though, it has definitely been a setback, and it's been a very isolating year as a caregiver during the global pandemic. And so my question is I'd like some tips for crafting my experience as a caretaker in a more positive light while

looking for new work opportunities, as I've really struggled with some interviews. where people don't quite understand, you know, how big of an impact or big of a change of this experience was for me. And so I would just like some tips in terms of maybe mindset or just ways to practice in a more positive light. I'll jump in really quick. Hi, Maria. Well, congratulations on being on Clubhouse and I'm glad that you, this is your first room. It's exciting. And I am just amazed and just want to give you big hugs for all that you've done as a caretaker because I know that for me, there's nothing worse than my pain than seeing my husband in pain because of watching me and my pain. And so I'm sure it's got to be hard for you. So the first thing I would

say is, are you taking time for yourself to do things for yourself to mentally, get you strong, physically get you strong and spiritually get you strong so that when you go to an interview, you feel like you're your best self or you taking time for yourself? That's a good question. I think some days are better than others. Some weeks are better than others in terms of getting outdoors and staying active, kind of that perspective. But that is definitely a valid area that I should work on. What really helps me is every morning, even if it means I have to get up at 4.30 or 5, I make time for myself to have quiet time just to focus on what I want, what my intentions are. And then I think about those intentions before I do anything, before I have an interview or before I jump on Clubhouse or whatever it is I'm doing, I always think, about what my intentions are. And then also, Heather is the queen of tips for giving you awesome

tips for nailing interviews. So I would love to hear what Heather has to say. Thanks, Amberley. And I want to ask you, Maria, when you ask about the reframe, are you saying in regards to how you're setting it up during the interview or were you talking about reframing it to yourself? Initially, mostly as an external interview, kind of. of frame, but perhaps I'm not framing it well for myself either. Okay. So in regards to the actual interview, you've got a really powerful story, right? And personal stories have such an impact in regards to eliciting emotion and feeling out of another person. And typically in the interview process, it's very transactional and cold. You've got a way

to break through. I want you to leverage that story because it is so powerful. It also highlights who you are as a human being. It highlights your loyalty, your commitment, trust, all of these really important aspects that any and every employer is looking for. You can teach people's skill. You can't teach trust and do the right thing and go the extra mile. You rock that, right? So I would really lead with that personal, powerful story. And you can respond to any question to open up that pathway. They could say, you know, tell us why you're the right fit here. Well, Bob, as I research your company, I see that you really appreciate loyalty and commitment to the company. A lot of your key executives have been here for years. I want to share a really personal story with you that's going to highlight

how I am exactly that person. And then you share that story about what you, done and that commitment. It's so incredibly powerful. And I share this all the time. Stories sell, facts tell. People buy stories. People buy off of emotion. So I really want you to leverage that emotion on every single interview you go on. Another key tip on any interview that you're on. You've got to practice ahead of time, of course, but you've got to go for the close. And at the end of the interview, I want you to say, Bob, I want to make sure before we disconnect today, that I've answered all of your questions and that you feel like you've got the information you need. Yeah, I've got the info. Great. Let me ask you one more question. While there may be multiple

decision makers involved, if you were the only decision maker, Bob, would you give me a yes right now? And what you do is you're going to uncover whatever potential obstacle or challenge is left to be handled and you're going to get it served up to you so that you can tackle it and close it before you get off the phone. So good luck. I hope it goes well. Amazing. Maria, I think, you got such great advice. I'm going to give you a piece of advice here because it seems like you're in a place where you have the time to look for a new job and you might have some more time than you did maybe in the previous year now that your sibling is getting better and better. What I would say is don't wait for a gatekeeper right now. Don't wait for a gatekeeper to tell

you yes or no you got this job. Do something that you can control. Learn something new. Start a hobby. And the other part of your story then when you go on these interviews is like, yeah, I took care of my sibling for a year, but I also, you know, started this hobby or started this side hustle or learned XYZ skill. And that's also going to show them that, you know, you're able to multitask and that, you know, you are somebody who wants to learn and work hard. And I just think that will give you a well-balanced approach when you go to look for a new job. Alex, Amberley, anything else to add here? Just I would be kind to yourself, Maria. You have been doing an incredible lift. And I just want to encourage you and say that the right people and the right job are going to see you for everything you have to offer. And I know that that's out there for you. And I want you to stay in touch and let us know when it happens because I am convinced that it will. Thank you, Maria. Was that helpful? Thank you, ladies so much. It was very helpful. Awesome. Hey, young improfitors. As an entrepreneur, I know firsthand that getting a huge expense off your books is the best possible feeling. It gives you peace of mind and it lets you focus on the big picture and invest in other things that move your business forward. Now imagine

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But I guess my setback in my past, I've had some really incredible blessed experiences around the world with like academics, with drama training, with music. But within the last three years, I've had two spine surgeries. I left an abusive relationship. I moved from NorCal to L.A. suddenly. I developed CRPS and I lost my dad. So I guess I'd like to ask how to bounce back while I'm still recovering. And by still recovering, I'm saying, like, I'm still finding the treatments I need. I'm still learning to walk without a walker and without a cane. Very humbling experience. But I feel like I need to not return to life as it was before this, but to fully go.

into something that captures what I've been through and allows me to work without it being overwhelming. So any advice on that, I'd really appreciate and I'm done speaking. Thank you. Kate, I love you, girl. I just want to say, give yourself grace. I mean, I know you're a go-getter and I know that you're so driven. And I think in these moments that just by giving yourself the gift of grace and resting when you need to rest and taking it, you know, one day at a time, one step at a time, and making sure again that you're surrounding yourself with people who are positive and uplifting because that energy is contagious. And be really careful.

And the reason I say surround yourself with positive people, because I have found that a lot of times in like support groups for chronic illness or anything like that, sometimes it's a pity party. And I think it's great. There are groups, but I couldn't be around that. I don't want to focus on CRPS or my pain. That doesn't define me. It's a part of me. But I focus on what I can do. even if that's one thing during the day. And I'm big on making a list. And then I celebrate every night when I go to bed, I get in bed with my daughter and we cuddle and I ask her, what's the best thing that happened to you? What's one thing that you're grateful for? And then I go through and I'm like, did you see the sun today? And she's like, yeah, mom, I saw the sun, duh. And I'm like, well, did you see the stars? And she's like, mom, why are you asking me this? And I'm like, mom, why are you asking me this? And I'm, I want you to be in the moment and really look away. You know, I have to remind myself sometimes. Stop looking at my leg that's hurting or focusing on the pain. Like get out in nature, take a break from medical treatments or, you know, and just really give yourself the gift of grace. And like Alex said earlier, the importance of rest. Your body is trying to heal and.

recover and the more that you can just get that rest that you need, the faster you're going to recover. And everything happens in all the right timing. And what's meant for you is going to come to you. And I believe in you. I know that you're getting stronger every day. Thank you so much. Thank you. Yeah, I'm going to echo Amber Lee's really wise advice. You know, Kate, not the same situation, but a couple of years ago, I had to have some really severe foot surgeries, basically reconstructive surgery on each of my feet. And it left me, you know, with my foot in the air and a rented hospital bed on the first floor of my home. Because I just, you know, I had to be at a place where I was super close to a bathroom. I mean, my life,

my universe got kind of small, right? This is resonating for you? Totally. Totally. Okay. Yeah, I was like, wow, I'm in my 40s and here I am buying a raised toilet seat at the drugstore supply. Like nothing says youth and vitality, right, like buying the raised toilet seat. You're like, I've really made it in life. This is the pinnacle of my sex appeal, obviously. So I'm in this. And Kate, you know, I'm that person. Again, I was like, okay, I'm going to be in a bed.

I can't travel or do anything. So I'm going to, you know, I'm going to read a lot. I'm going to educate myself. I'm going to start writing a book. Kate, I ended up doing absolutely nothing for weeks. I had painkiller in my system and my body, right? So my body was just giving me this clear signal to rest. And after that, I experimented with something and I thought, what if I just did the stuff that brought me joy? Because I had a choice as to what I was going to do with the rest of my sabbatical after I recovered from foot surgery. And I had all this stuff that I thought I should do. Like I got an offer to write a, you know, prestigious legal textbook. And when I thought

about that, I just felt dead on the inside, you know? Yeah. So I started thinking about like, well, what would bring me the most joy? And that, Kate, has been the key to my second act. I didn't bounce back. I bounced forward. In fact, right? Right. Right. I recovered myself in the process of recovering from surgery and giving myself the gift of rest and joy. And so I just want to say to you that joy is going to be the key to where you go next. Think of the moments, the things that you're doing when you feel the most joy. And those are usually a clue as to what our calling is in life. You know, my personal motto is only do what only you can do and lean into your unique gift and the things that bring you joy.

And that's going to be the key to what you end up doing from here on. You have a lovely soul. I can hear it just from your voice and look forward to staying in touch. Thank you so much. Thank you. That was amazing. Thank you so much, Kate, for sharing your story. And I hope. hope that, you know, we motivated you and inspired you. So the last question of the night is with Tandika. So Tandika, we're talking about comeback stories. Can you share with us your setback and what guidance you'd like from the panel? Hi, good night, everyone. I'm Tandika. So I've had multiple setbacks and comebacks. Seven years ago, I got divorced from an abusive marriage. And my comeback from that was to go ahead and pursue not one but two masters and during the period of

studying for these masters, I took a hiatus from working full-time so that I could afford to pay for it or not pay for them by being a grad assistant. Last year, I graduated with a second master's and I was like, so yes, I can finally go back to work full-time and not. And, not have people say to me when they look at my resume, yeah, you had great experience before these two masters, but there's this gap. So you have this wonderful experience and you have these two masters, but we can't really give you a job at your level because you have a gap. And so that was my issue that I had the past couple of years. And then last year, when I graduated with my master's in social media marketing,

I was like, yes, so this is it. I can finally get back out there and put in some work to fill that gap. And one week after I delivered the commencement speech at my graduation, I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma. So the past year has been endless hospital visits, not working, an emotional rollercoaster, of learning that you have this thing. And thankfully, all praise the God. I heard some of the

speakers talk about what they do first thing in the morning. This is one of the things that I do first thing in the morning. I say all praise the God. I was able to have a bone marrow transplant. Three months ago, actually. Yesterday, May day 90 that I'm post-transplant. And I'm now trying to get back out there mentally because it's been a year of me. being isolated from everyone because of this condition, not just because of COVID. Even if we didn't have COVID, I would still have to be in isolation.

And so I had started my podcast even. That was like basically a runoff from a radio show that I had while I was at school. I had to put that on pause because of the illness. And now it's like a struggle to put myself, back out there with regard to the podcast. And I've started searching for work to try to get my mind back out there. But that also is like a difficulty for me in the sense that there's this big gap for an entire year that has been added to several years other gaps.

You know what I'm saying? And also a lot of times when I'm like filling out applications, I see they list cancer as a disability, and I want to know if that somehow makes me, it's a pit against me when I'm being considered against other candidates for a particular position. And basically, how do I present myself or sell myself outside of these gaps that I have so that I can be considered for work. And it's also a challenge because I can only do remote work. And not everyone is hiring remote.

So it's like I'm going crazy, not being able to go out and work and do what I am skilled at doing. And there's so many restrictions that seem to be coming left and right. You know what I'm saying? So that's like if you can get my question and all of that rambling. No, yeah. I think you were very clear on your question. You want to understand, you know, how you can position yourself as somebody who is desirable to get work, even though you've had all these gaps and setbacks. So Amberly, Alex, Heather, what are your thoughts here? I'll jump in on this. From an employer standpoint, number one, it's just so wrong, right, that you've been

fighting a health battle and it's coming back to hurt you in finding work. That's just so wrong. And I've so much, my heart goes out for you and I'm sending you good vibes and I'm sending you positively. I really want you to know that even though you're in the struggle and it's thick and it's real and it's not fair, there are steps you can take to improve your situation. A lot of companies are allowing employees to work virtually. I know not all of them, but there are a lot. What a blessing this is happening right now versus three years ago. Three years ago, you would have been screwed, right? 99% of companies were only in office. So that is a blessing that we need to focus on and capitalize on. So what happens a lot of times when people go to look for a job is they go to the same place they've

always gone, the industry they've always been in, the thing they've always done. What I want you to do is to challenge yourself and say, here's what's unique, valuable, and different about me. Why don't I pick my head up out of this industry that I'm currently in and look across the entire globe and say, where else could my unique talents add value so that I could be compensated? And I promise you, I'm living proof of this.

I was in the radio business for 20 plus years. I was told that is what I was good at. And when I got fired, I made the decision to say, I'm going to blow up the lanes, and I'm going to live my life lanelessly. And that means I'm going to show up as a podcast host that's never been a podcast host. I'm going to show up as an author that's never been an author. I'm going to show up as a TEDx speaker that's never been a TEDx speaker and so on and so forth.

And as you step into things, as you step in and try, it's all in how you're framing it up, right? If you know you stand behind your work, if you've got testimonials of your work so that you can share it with these people that you're interviewing, and you can talk about what is special and fantastic about. about you, people can teach you the things at work. They want good people on the team. They want people they can trust now more than ever. So never, definitely never lie with an employer in regards to hiding a gap. Step into it and own it. And the real, and I would challenge you to say this, what is the real question this person has to me? They want to know if I'm going to be healthy enough to do the work. They want to know that I have enough energy to get through the day versus

Joe Schmo, I would really, I would shine a light on it and say, I know what you're thinking. It's scary to bring an employee on that's had an illness before. I totally get it because before this was me, I would understand that. However, I want to share with you why I'm different, right? And really own that opportunity to call out that elephant in the room rather than just leave it as something that's not being addressed. Be honest, be you, and step into those really special, unique things about you and pick your head up out of your industry. Start networking outside of it. I promise you it's a numbers game. You've got to get in front of enough hiring employers and just take the steps now. When you get off this call tonight, take a step and start reaching out.

Oh my gosh. That was incredible, incredible, incredible advice. Heather, great job. Amberly, Alex, anything to add here. Oh my gosh. I was just cheering Heather on on those tips. And yeah, you know, what? I had to completely reinvent myself. I mean, four years ago, I didn't even own a laptop. I didn't even own a computer. I didn't even know how my whole business was word of mouth. And don't be afraid to ask questions and learn new things. Because for me, I knew that I wanted more out of life. I had a mission. And so I just started asking people who had already done what I wanted to do, started asking them, well, how do you write a book? I took a class at Apple. How do I work this laptop and ended up, you know, I had people saying, oh, you'll never write a book. You're that fitness girl. You don't

even have a college education. And I was like, no, I am going to write every day. And so you definitely have some grit to get through your cancer, a bone marrow transplant, and on top of it during the pandemic, girl, I feel like you have a book in you that you could start writing right now. And you know what? Get on that podcast. I did not know how to do a podcast. And I was like, but I want to have a platform to bring other people to share their stories of resilience and their struggles to success.

and use your podcast to get your message out there. And so I would just say, like Heather said, be authentically you own it. And then there's one other thing that I would like to say as I was looking at your bio and I see that you have in there, cancer survivor. Maybe you could even say, and this is up to you, cancer thriver.

Like, you're thriving, girl. you are, you are thriving. And so you can just be like when you're on those interviews, like, look, I am thriving. Despite all of this, I've got the grit. I work hard. I've worked hard through all these things and just watch what I can do for your company and watch, or watch what you're going to do for yourself and your podcast or your future book or whatever your heart desires. So, yeah, I would say just go for it. One step at a time. and don't be afraid to ask questions. I so love the advice of one step at a time.

And Tandika, you've gotten some incredible advice from Amberley and Heather. Here's what I want to tell you. I've coached someone similar to you. I coached a woman, in fact, who was getting back into the workforce after a break who, like you, had bravely beaten cancer. And I told her I wanted to focus on her prior success. And she said, Alex, what are you talking about? You know, I've never gotten back into the workforce after such a break before.

And I said, no, not that. I'm talking about your success in beating your cancer. Because that takes a significant number of strengths and skills. And so what I want you to do, Tandika, is write down everything that you did to help yourself get to this point where you've conquered cancer during a pandemic. I want you to write down the strategies you used, the personal qualities that helped you, if you had a lucky shirt that you wore for treatments, everything you did, write it down. And I'm telling you that there are strategies that you used to make yourself, I love that, Amberly, a cancer thriver that you're going to be able to use to go back out and launch yourself

into the job force. Maybe you're someone who recruits people to help her. Maybe you're someone who's just persistent and you show up every day relentlessly and you do the work. What got you here, Tandika, is going to get you there. I know that you will be successful. And like Heather said, take the opportunity to tell your story first. Lawyers call this taking the sting out, right? Take the stuff that other people might see, right? If you don't talk about it as a negative and talk about it as a beautiful,

affirmative part of your story, who you are, and it's part of the strength, not the weakness, that's the strength that you bring to any organization. They would be lucky to have you. And I'm just waiting to hear about the abundance that's going to flow your way, Tandika. So thank you for coming up here today. Thank you for sharing your encouraging words, all of you.

I get that. I really get that. It's interesting. I think it was Amberley that said, oh, you should, you have a book, you should write a book. It's funny that you said that I have been writing a book for the past seven years about all of this. And I started writing a lot more when I was in the hospital. Every time I went into the hospital for chemotherapy, I would write. But since I've been home after the transplant, I just have not been motivated to write at all.

It's just not been only a physical struggle because in addition, you know, I've had a whole lot of issues post-transplant that I've had to deal with. I've been hospitalized several times since the transplant. And it's an emotional struggle. So I really have been trying really hard to find, it's a challenge to find my focus to say, yeah, you need to get back into this, into your writing, into your podcasting. but I take your words, all of you that you have and your encouragement, and I would certainly set it to task to get back out there in terms of my writing and my podcast and at least at first. Hala, is there a way I know we're doing a show right now, but if everyone could just take one minute to say a prayer right now for her, there's power in prayer. And if we all do it together, I know we're going to make something happen. Yeah, let's do that. Let's do a silent prayer right now. Thanks, Heather, for the suggestion.

Amazing. Tendika, we wish you the best, you know. And just so you know, me, Alex, Amberly, Heather, Caroline, we host rooms in women in business all the time and I see that you have a party hat on. So I'd love for you to follow us. And we want to hear from you again. We want to hear progress about your podcast, your book. We want to keep up with your story. We do confidence and cocktails at 5 p.m. every Friday. Alex and Heather do takeovers where they do power hours. Typically it's at 12 p. Eastern or 8 p.m. Eastern. So definitely follow us, not for any other reason, but so that we can keep up with you and, you know, check on your progress because we do want to be here to support you. So thank you so much, Tandika. Thank you. Okay, everyone. Thank you so much for tuning in to Young and Profiting Podcast. I want to thank all the guests that were here today, Natasha Grano, who had left earlier, Amber Lee Lago, Alex Carter, and Heather Monaghan, all amazing. amazing, amazing ladies. I would like you guys to let everybody know where they can learn about you and everything that you do. Amber Lee, if you want to let everyone know first. Yes, I would love to

stay connected. And I just want to say, Hala, thank you so much for having us on. I just appreciate you and all that you do. And if you go down to just my profile and look me up on Instagram, DM me the word clubhouse and I will send you your Unleash Your Superpower Playbook. So you can play to find your grit and purpose and keep persevering. So just send me a DM over on Amberley Logo Motivation and I'll send you that. And I really just want to hear from you. So please stay in touch. Thanks, Amberly.

And Alex, could you let everybody know where they can find you? Yeah, absolutely. So I'll be back on Clubhouse tomorrow at one Eastern for negotiation power hours. So I would love to see you there. And in general, I want you to think of me as your negotiation coach. I'd love to partner with you in your long-term success. So I hope that you will come connect with me on Instagram, on LinkedIn, and all of my connection details are in my bio. And if you'd like to from today, start moving toward that comeback, DM me, ask for more. And I'm going to send you a workbook that contains seven days, one piece of advice per day that we can do, you know, in five minutes, almost like we were having coffee together. And so in a week, you'll be further along toward that comeback. Would love to stay in touch. Awesome. And Heather, where can people go to find more about you? I'm everywhere at Heather Monaghan. My book is Confidence Creator and my podcast is creating confidence. If you want my free e-book, shoot me a DM on Insta, just write in Clubhouse,

and you've got it coming at you. Thanks for being here. Everybody in Hala, thanks for having us. Of course. This was such an awesome session. If you guys joined late and you want a link for the replay, just DM me Clubhouse and I'll send you guys a link for the replay. Ladies, thank you so much for spending this hour and a half with me. I really appreciate your time. And thanks to everybody for tuning into Young and Profiting Podcast. This is Hala, signing off. Thanks so much, guys. Have a great night.