Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - YAPLive: Hacking Human Behavior on Clubhouse with Mark Bowden, Chase Hughes, Blanca Cobb and Amilya Antonetti | Uncut Version | Human Behavior

Episode Date: February 18, 2021

Strengthen interpersonal skills and better understand your own thinking & those around you! 🎤💰 Join Hala & top experts on human behavior and body language: Mark Bowden, Chase Hughes, Blanca Cobb and Amilya Antonetti! 🤓🔥 Looking to hack human behavior to better understand motivations, intentions and actions? Look no further than this week’s new YAP episode, recorded live on Clubhouse! Hala is joined by some of the biggest experts on human behavior including: Chase Hughes, Founder of Applied Behavior Research, Mark Bowden, #1 body language expert, Blanca Cobb, TV personality and body language and deception trainer, and Amiliya Antonetti, one of the most sought after human behaviorists and conflict resolution experts in the world.  Topics covered include uncovering the complexities of human behavior, the art of people-reading, how to gain influence and persuasion, networking to succeed, authority and trust.  Check out this episode to unlock the secrets of human behavior and walk away knowing how to better understand yourself and those around you!   Follow YAP on IG: www.instagram.com/youngandprofiting Reach out to Hala directly at [e-mail] Follow Hala on Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Follow Hala on Instagram: www.instagram.com/yapwithhala Follow Hala on ClubHouse: @halataha Check out our website to meet the team, view show notes and transcripts: www.youngandprofiting.com

You're listening to Yap, Young and Profiting Podcast, a place where you can listen, learn, and profit. Welcome to the show. I'm your host, Halitaha, and on Young and Profiting Podcast, we investigate a new topic each week and interview some of the brightest minds in the world. My goal is to turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your everyday life, no matter your age, profession, or industry. There's no fluff on this podcast. And that's on purpose.

I'm here to uncover value from my guests by doing the proper research and asking the right questions. If you're new to the show, we've chatted with the likes of ex-FBI agents, real estate moguls, self-made billionaires, CEOs, and best-selling authors. Our subject matter ranges from enhancing productivity, how to gain influence, the art of entrepreneurship, and more. If you're smart and like to continually improve yourself, hit the subscribe button because you'll love it here at Young and, and profiting podcast. All right. Welcome to Yap Live, everyone. I'm Halitaha, the host of Young and Profiting Podcast. We are recording this session for my podcast, which is going to reach over 25,000 people. So I hope everybody is excited for that today. Today we're focusing on human behavior. We're going to talk about how to gain influence, how to become more authoritative, how to improve our body

language to make better first impressions and things like that. So we have lots of things to discuss, and we have some amazing people here on the panel. So joining me today, we have, and I'll just give you guys your introductions, and then we can do a round robin after that. We have Chase Hughes. Chase served in the U.S. military for 20 years. He became a behavior science expert for intelligence work, and now he works in the world of business. He teaches groundbreaking. behavioral science skills such as advanced persuasion, behavioral investigation, profiling, and nonverbal analysis. He's also the author of the ellipsis manual, and that is known as the new Bible for mind control and persuasion. Chase, welcome to the stage. I've also interviewed him on

my podcast, and it was one of the highest downloaded episodes, so I'm sure a lot of my listeners are super excited to hear from Chase. And we also have Mark Bowden. Mark Bowden is a body language and human behavior expert. He was voted the number one body language professional in the world for two years running. His nonverbal techniques for influence and persuasion have been described as a secret weapon for G7 leaders, including Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, and I believe he's also worked with former Vice President Mike Pence. Blanca Cobb is also on the panel.

She is the Body Shark Authority. She's a TV personality. She trains people in body language and deception detecting, and she gives them an edge in their personal and business life. She's been featured on CNN, the Today Show, the Steve Harvey show, Dr. Drew, and the Dr. Oz show, to name a few. So we've got some extremely talented experts. Welcome to the stage, guys. So happy to have you here.

It's great to be here. Thanks for having me, Hala. Mark. Awesome. And so we're going to have a Q&A section as well for this session. And I'll be playing that by ear, probably somewhere in the middle of the session and at the end as well. So if you guys have a question, just to raise your hand so that I have a question. that on deck and I can just quickly add you to the stage. And we're going to get started.

Okay, so first we're going to do a popcorn round robin around the room. I want to know why you all first got interested in human behavior. Where did this passion and fascination come from? Blanca, let's start with you and then we'll do a round Robin. Okay, I'm having trouble hearing Blanca and Chase. Mark, do you want to go? It seems like I can only hear you, which is strange. That means that Blanca and Chase, I think there's something wrong with your audio. Go ahead, Mark. Okay, well, while Chastain Blanca are working out, you know what I noticed, Chase and Blanca, if you can hear this, if you quietly leave and then come back in again, sometimes these things start to work a little better. But, Hala, here's how I got into this area, is as a kid, I was kind of obsessed with movement and animal life. In Britain, where I was living, there were lots of really great shows about animal behavior. And so I got super interested, first of all, in animal behavior. And then as I got a bit older, as a kid, I got interested in human behavior. And then, you know, why did people do the things that they do?

And how you might be able to have some influence and some control, not maybe of them, but over yourself, how you reacted to things. So I got really obsessed with human movement, body language, and then behavior and then the psychology of all of that. And at the time, I just kind of read more than anybody else and watched more than anybody else and then started forming my own ideas around. around it. And that's how I got started in there. That's amazing. That's amazing. And I see another one of our moderators has just entered the room. I want to quickly introduce her and hopefully Chase and Blanca's audio issues are resolved. So Amelia Antonetti just joined the stage. She's one of the most sought after human behaviors and conflict resolution experts in the world. She's helped companies innovate, manage turnarounds, and set strategies for some of the most high profile clients in music, sports, and

entertainment like Mike Tyson and Steve Harvey. So Amelia, welcome to the stage. Thank you so much for having me. And Mark, I'm a huge fan. I know you work very well and you are brilliant. Awesome. Good of you. Thanks for saying that.

I really appreciate it. I really do. Awesome. Chase, Blanca, do you want to tell us how you first got into human behavior? All right. Well, I got fascinated with behavior as a kid. And I was probably 19 years old. I was in the military and I'm 40 now.

But I was stationed out in Hawaii. I got turned down. a young lady one night and literally went home and typed how to tell when girls like you into Google. And it wasn't just a couple of years after that, just kind of obsessing over understanding nonverbal communication. I started working in intelligence. And it was probably 10 years later, I started training intelligence officers and running intelligence operations. And this stuff became pretty handy. And to this day, I'm retired from the government, but I still teach our intelligence agencies and intelligence operatives from a few countries.

That's amazing. And for those of you who just joined, Chase has been on my podcast before. And it was actually one of the most downloaded episodes till this day, even though I interviewed him about two years ago, people loved hearing Chase. So I can't wait to hear all the value you're going to share today. Amelia Blanca, how did you get started in this space? Amelia, let's start with you. And then we'll go to Blanca.

So for me, it was absolutely out of necessity. So I started my journey. I'm a business and serial entrepreneur, so as a CEO, running a company about 43,000 employees and competing against the likes of the big boy, Parker & Gamble, Dialporx. That was the arena I was at at the time. And I knew that I wasn't going to be able to pay some of the big salaries and big bells and whistles as my competition. And so I was starting this journey to say, you know, how can I better first? my employees. Like, what can I do for them that would enhance their lifestyles, their wants,

their needs? That is different than what I was seeing around me. Because when I started my first company, you know, I was, it was first, it was rare because there's not that many female at the time that was running a $100 million company. So that made me an odd duck. And when I was really trying to say, okay, how do I better serve my people by asking them what they were doing when they were not at work so I could start helping them lift that load, I started to realize that a lot of the stuff that was holding them back from things that they wanted to do were all behavioral. So I first brought in, you know, a lot of people who were in the space to better understand it. And so we had behaviorists on staff. We started bringing in school and other things that really helped kind of unlock some of the

misbelief between the relationship between a company. and one's personal life, because again, way back then, people were still thinking that you had a life and then you had your business life versus you have one life that's working in synergy towards your purpose and your goal. And so that's what really brought me into the space was really to serve the people around me. I love that. And Blanca, why did you get involved in this space? I got involved when I was a little girl, but I had no idea what I was doing. So like a long story short, I didn't have a very happy childhood. I was physically abused among some other things. So when I was little, I was always trying to figure out like when the next, I guess,

beating would happen. So I would be listening to changes of voice or looking at body language, see what's happening with the hands. I mean, even it got down to where I would listen to footsteps coming down the hall. And again, I had no idea what I was doing as a little girl. It wasn't until I was an adult and I was reflecting back on my life. And then, as you might imagine, I really didn't know to test people as I was growing up. And so it just took me on this journey of where I just,

really started watching people and trying to figure out who was friendly and who was personable and who could be somebody that I could trust. And then when I got into college, I knew I wanted to go into the helping profession and I got it, ended up with a master of psychology and I've just blended the two together. Awesome. Okay, so we're going to get the actionable advice piece of this podcast rolling. For those of you who newly joined, I'm Halitaha, the host of Young and Profiting Podcasts, for the number one trending education podcast across all apps. This session is going to be recorded and then replayed on my podcast. So the first question is for Mark. When I have researched human behavior, something that comes up time and time again, especially when first looking into the

topic is our reptilian brain. And so I want to understand and want everybody listening today to understand what our reptilian brain is and why do we need to dampen its influence. Yeah, great question. Okay, so the reptilian brain, look, the reptilian brain is a metaphor. You don't actually have a reptilian brain. an idea that we've come up with to help you understand the processing that your mind often does. So we often say that you have kind of three black brains or what we call the trium brain system, which is you've got this very old reptilian brain. It's about 500 million years old. It's the thing that looks after your safety, looks after your temperature.

It tells you when you're hungry. It has some of those sexual urges as well. and its coding system, again, that's a bit of a metaphor. Your brain isn't a computer. It's not anything like a computer, really. But its coding system goes right back to the earliest reptiles, the dinosaurs, essentially. Now, on top of that, you've got what we call the paleomal mammalian brain. It's the social brain that you have.

And it learns the rituals, the customs, the goals, the signals of your community. It gets taught by your primary caregivers, the people around you, that have resource. And it tries to mimic those primary caregivers, those important people in your life that have resource, so you will fit in to a society. And on top of that, you have something called the neocortex, the new brain. And that, you can teach that one yourself. It's able to read books and learn new behaviors and new ideas. So you've got this new brain, which you'll live.

in charge of. You've got this social mammalian brain, which is kind of programmed a little bit for you by your society and the societies you want to fit into. And then there's this instinctual reptilian brain, which you've got really no control over at all in the behavior that it's going to put out. And a lot of body language, a lot of behavior that often we will observe, especially when people are under stress and pressure, that comes from the primitive brain, that reptilian brain. So I hope that answers your question there, Hala. It does. And for any moderators on the stage, how can we better control our reptilian brain? Or do we just not have control over it at all?

Well, no, you can't control it, but you can countermeasure it. I mean, well, listen, you can control it. You'd have to get some kind of sharp object and kind of poke around in it, and you'd probably kill yourself, so you don't want to do that. Well, there's some drugs that you can take, but they'll stop your breathing as well. So any control that you try and have over your primitive brain will most likely, kill you at the same time. All you can do is countermeasure it, and you have to countermeasure it with your neocortex. You have to understand when your reptilian brain is taking over your life, and you've got to recognize that and bring in countermeasures. So look, as a moderator there,

you might find yourself getting anxious or worried, like if you don't hear any sound, if suddenly I cut out, anxiety or worry might come over, and your breathing rate would change, and your heart rate would change. Well, one of the things that you could start to do is control your breathing around that and just breathe in a way that you might think is calm and assertive rather than panicked and out of control. You could actually start to move your body in a way

which is more calm and assertive rather than panicked and out of control. And anybody listening to this can do the same thing. If you know scenarios where you get a little more panicked and out of control, just know the behaviors that you do when you're calm and asserted and start to do those behaviors on purpose. That's the way to countermeasure that primitive brain and to some extent, certainly control the behaviors that you're putting out. I love that. So basically you're saying if you're feeling anxious, start to breathe and do movements that calm you or that you would do in a

calm state and it's essentially tricking yourself to feel calm. Yes, exactly that. What you want to do, is to kind of look at the behaviors you do when you're calm and assertive and just reproduce those as much as you can when you're getting that early trigger or some early experience of the behaviors of being panicked out of control whatever you don't want to be doing. Got it. Amelia, go ahead. I'm in here. So 100% like Mark said on, right?

It's the not trying to disconnect from the primary state, but to have behavioral tools that channels it towards the path that you're going on. So, for example, anxiety, right? So Mark's example, but being anxious prior to an event. So you can't stop that you're feeling it, but what you can do is change your relationship with it. So instead of anxiety that I'm feeling, I'm feeling excitement, and I'm taking that excitement, and I'm putting it, according it towards an opportunity so that I'm channeling that same energy back in myself in a positive manner and then looking for the opportunity so that energy can cause me

to move forward into a situation where I would want to repel away from it to move me closer towards an opportunity or goal. So for just example, just for myself, although people see me on TV and they see me on stage, they make the assumption that I'm an extrovert. They make the assumption that I'm not nervous. Well, none of that is anywhere close to the truth. I am anxious. I do get anxious before I step into a public arena. And I channel that energy into a relationship I'm feeling excited. And that energy is going to allow me to take those first couple of steps to push through that anxiety and or excitement. And then once I get there, I can breathe into that space, give myself that three second pause, neutralizing my energy, and then it allows me to share

the content with the audience, which I see it as me as trying to serve so that other people can learn tools, tricks, all kinds of things to glue them into their life, to get them where they want to be. The false belief is that, well, I'm going to wait until I no longer feel this anxiety. I'm going to wait and somehow it's going to magically go away. No, what Mark is it's not going to weigh. So the counterbalance is the tools that allow you to still move to where you're going, wanting to go. Awesome. Awesome. And I can't wait to learn more about all these different tools. All right. So I want to understand the importance of body language in communication because a lot of the times when we talk, we think that's really all communication is. It's our verbal,

you know, speaking and conversation that we consider communication. But it turns out that body language, I think, makes up like 70% of our communication. So Blanca, can you talk to us about the importance of body language and some of the things that we can start to understand better when we do pay attention to body language? Yeah, sure. So the thing with body language is you really get a sense of people, like how they act. And, you know, we always talk about an hour word. We always talk about baseline behavior. So you understand somebody how they typically respond, how they typically react. You know, like we're having a conversation. If you think about your friends, so you know when your friends like something funny or they're going to get upset. You get a sense because you're

reading them. You're spending time with them. So you're learning about them. It's no different like when you meet somebody at the grocery store, at the doctor's office. You might start, you know, what we call a small chat, right? You just start talking to somebody. And so you get a sense of who they are and how they're going to behave or act. And so one of the nice things about body language is that when there's a change in somebody's behavior and they act a little differently than what you're used to, that's your aha moment. But the key is you don't know what you're It's causing it. You have to be careful that you don't automatically make an assumption of why someone's behaving the way that they are. Because what could happen is you could misattribute.

You might decide that you know what's wrong with that person or why their behavior changing. You could be completely wrong. And then what happens is you can potentially ruin an otherwise healthy relationship. So communication is really important. Words do matter, but it's also how you convey it. You can say hi. Or you can say, hey, how's it going? Well, hello, very uncertain.

So you can use your voice also, an inflection and your energy that comes across. So, again, words have meaning, but your body language and your parolangeviglish can really either enhance it or take away from your message. Love that. Love that. You did a great job. So let's do another popcorn, which basically means that we'll just take turns speaking here. And we'll start with Chase this time.

I want to know how we can give off very friendly language. So let's pretend we're at a networking event. and COVID doesn't exist or we're at a party. And we don't know many people. We're walking into this party and we want to make a good impression. What body language should we give off? What are the things that we should say or do to be more attractive, to be friendly and to, you know, make a good impression at this party?

Chase, let's start with you. Yeah, and keep in mind that any social interaction that you will ever participate in for the rest of your life, the reason that babies are born, knowing how to smile and frown. And the reason that if you watch people getting the crap scared out of them compilation on YouTube, that all of the human bodies do the same thing is because language, just the spoken word is really new for our species as a whole. And we were communicating with each other nonverbally for millions of years, so much so that

a lot of this stuff that we use to talk to each other is in our DNA. It's literally written into us. We are born with all that stuff. But we're also born with what Mark discussed earlier is that mammalian brain, the idea of that. That's the part that's not just capable of sending out all these signals, but you have to understand that when you get a gut feeling or when you have a feeling about somebody that something was off, that's that part of the brain that's millions of years old that's reading what the other person is sending. but it's not capable of language. So it can't give you a text message. It can't tell you what it saw, but it gives you that gut feeling.

And there are some great things we can do to communicate to other people on a body language level. They don't have to know how to read body language because it's so innate in a lot of our interactions. And coming up to anybody, especially at a networking event where everybody's kind of nervous, the moment that we start to like someone is not when we realize they're perfect. We're more likely to like somebody who also exhibit some of these things. So reading a LinkedIn article about how to control your stress or anxiety is not going to get rid of millions of years of evolution. So we're talking millions of years of evolution versus an article on LinkedIn. Evolution wins.

So a lot of the things that we can do is show some gratitude on your body. Like, how would you look right now if you were feeling absolutely grateful for everything that's going on? Mark has a fantastic TED talk on winning trust of people, especially in these types of situations, with something that Mark, I'm sure, will talk about called the truth plane. And I think it's really important to understand the proxemics of conversations, especially at these networking events where you don't want to be 180 degrees from the other person, like face-to-face interactions. Just one other small tip would be just to angle your body away just a little bit instead of this direct head-on or face-to-face situations. And I would say that the more interesting, not interested, the more interesting you can make that person feel, the better you're going to do on as far as report goes. Yeah, actually, Chase, I have a follow-up question.

Why angle our bodies? Like, what's the difference there? I think anybody that's up here on the panel would be able to answer probably more eloquently than I would. But this triggers almost a challenge mechanism in our brain. So that part of our brain that reads nonverbal communication sees a potential threat to be more present and more clear in the situation if we're face to face. and from interrogations to job interviewing skills, even in the intelligence communities, when we're recruiting an intelligence asset overseas, we teach that angling away this body positions from another person kind of helps them to identify that we're almost looking

in the same direction. We have a common goal. We have some common ground here. And in most of these situations, if we're face to face, the person doesn't even know that they're feeling that way. So their gut feeling about you might just boil down to that face-to-face interaction where we're kind of head on with that person. So interesting. Mark, what are your best tips for putting a good impression if you go to a network? Perfect. Thank you. So thanks, Chase, for bringing up the truth plane. Let me talk a little bit about that. That's a signal that is made

to affect other people's reptilian, their primitive brain. As I said before, about 500 million years old, and it's looking for risk and reward. So the first thing I'm going to do is approach people so that they can see me, because if I approach from behind or in their peripheral vision, it will trigger fight and flight for them, because there's way more risk to me approaching them, being able to hear my approach, and being able to hear and see my approach and my full body being visible to them. So I'll approach where they can see most, of me, and I'll do open palm gestures at exactly naval height. Those open palm gestures are a signal of no tools, no weapons, nothing in my hands. Again, low risk, more benefit. And I'll be opening

those palms at exactly naval height. The naval area, that stomach area, is very, very vulnerable. And if somebody takes control of that, they've got control over most of your body. They've got control over your center of gravity. So if I'm approaching very visible, no tools, no weapons, displaying my center of gravity and the delicate organs that are around there, it means I don't think you're a predator, and I'm certainly not a predator. If I was a predator, I would be approaching from behind, or I would be swinging from side to side as I approach you, as Chase was saying, full on. I would be approaching my body full onto yours and swaying from side to side, or just kind of angling myself in a zigzag motion towards you to confuse you as to confuse you as to

you being the target. So that's all you need to do is lots of open palm gestures at naval height and be in clear proximity. Then you might want to do a signal for the social mammalian brain. Now, that's going to depend on the group that you are part of. So the people around you who are most important to you, they probably told you the greeting that you should do, whether it's a, you know, a high five or a handshake or some other type of greeting, a bow. I don't know. what group you belong to because different groups, different societies will greet in different ways. That's why that greeting is part of the social mammalian brain. It's learned, not part of the reptilian brain. There's no DNA programming for handshakes or bowels or certainly ritualized

boughs. There's certainly DNA for lowering yourself in front of something with more status. So there's my answer for you, Ella. Amazing. Oh my gosh. So much great content. This is literally one of my favorite topics. I don't know about you guys listening in, but it's so fascinating. And every time I interview somebody about this, I learned something new. Amelia, what are your top tips for making a good impression when you're at a networking event and to appear more friendly? Well, thank you for the question. And great stuff. I do too. This is one of my favorite topics is where I spend most of my time because I find human behavior absolutely fascinating from every level. So in a networking event,

for me, when I'm working with clients and or setting up the stage from event outward facing, is to get the lay of the land, right? So, behaviorally, an event usually has staged for you talking points, right? So that if you just picture an event in a big circle, even though most of them are rectangles, but in a circle, the event coordinators are usually stationed in the middle of the circle, and they're put there because they're trying to be like greeters and minglers. And then along the edge, which means if you were thinking about a bull's eye, like two colors out, along the edge, they have communication starter areas, which would be like a refreshment area, maybe a snack area, kind of goes around the edge. Now, if you take a look at from a behavior standpoint, people who are proactive going to engage in the conversation,

which means they're going to be the one who starts the conversation, find their comfort in the middle of the circle, right? That's where they go. They walk in. You see them charge towards the middle. That's where they kind of stake their ground. And they are comfortable making those first engagement, right? It's an area that they've practiced, and that's how you're going to find them show up.

Other people, their behavior is to go towards the three colors from the bull's eye, to go around where the communication starters were left. the bar, the snacking table, right? And they're comfortable having a little bit of a wooby there. And from that would be, they're going to try to interact. Now, they're not going to be as aggressive as the people in the bull's eye, but they're still there for a purpose and they're going to at least meet you halfway. Then you have the people who hug along the wall and they're transmitting to you that you are going to have to approach them. They're not coming anywhere near the center. They're not going to seek you. They're not going to stalk you.

They're not falling you to the bathroom. You're going to have to see them. So depending on what your comfort zone is, just by looking at the room itself can tell you where you can be more or less responsible for the opening of the conversation by just the placement of the room. Awesome. And Blanca, what are your thoughts on this topic? My thoughts are that people should be bold. You should really be bold and put yourself out of your own comfort zone. That means if you're not sure, maybe you go to a networking event and you're not sure who you want to talk to, a lot of times it will happen if someone might go to the bar, but they'll have their back to the whole room. I say don't do that. I think you can turn around and have your back to the bar because you want

to look out. You want to appear friendly. It's like if you see somebody who's huddled up in a corner and have their shoulders drawn inward toward themselves, what silent message are they sending to you? At that moment, you may not know why, but at that moment, they're saying they're into themselves. But if you want to meet people or you want somebody to come up to you, then you have to present yourself as open. Look towards the room. Have a smile on your face. And that's so much more inviting and friendly. Because if you look at two people and one has a scowl on their face at one side of the room and somebody has a nice big smile, who you're going to gravitate towards?

You're going to go to someone who appears friendly and interesting and interested. Yeah. completely. And if I could just share one gem, I learned this from Dr. Jack Schaefer. He's an ex-FBI agent I had on my show a couple times. He says that look for people who, like, if they're standing in a circle talking to each other, if there's an opening, that means that, you know, you're welcome to kind of approach that circle if their feet are kind of pointing out. But if their feet are pointing inward and they have kind of like a closed circle, that means that it's private and they don't really want you to join. So that's another tip from me. Chase, the next question is for you. And it's on the

So it's related to this topic. What is the Colombo method and how can we use it to, you know, increase our influence? So the Colombo method is something I've been a fan of ever since I've, you know, started watching that show as a kid. And the entire premise of the show is that this detective, if you haven't watched it, I know your audience is pretty young. But if you haven't watched the show, the premise is this old detective is not really put together. and he appears to be a buffoon to the person that's solved or the person that committed the crime. So they think he's a dim wit and to their downfall. And he has this insane ability to know exactly what people need to hear and what they need to feel in order to start revealing some information.

And if there's there's one thing I've taught longer than anything is intelligence solicitation and interrogation. And this Colombo method works so well because it makes the person feel very comfortable and it escalates their level of interpersonal comfort in the conversation. And a lot of ways that this works, especially with the Colombo method in particular, is that when you understand how a person needs to be communicated with, and this goes down to the social needs. Do they need to feel strong and powerful? Do they need approval? Do they need to feel like they're a part of a group? Do they need to be seen as intelligent? Do they complain all the time?

They want you to know how bad they've got it. Identifying that very early on in the conversation does magical things, especially in terms of interpersonal communication, just understanding what that person really needs socially in the conversation. Are they talking all about the personal communication? themselves, which is just fine for them. Obviously, if we're learning behavior, that's not a good thing to do. But if they want to talk about their education and the publishing articles that they've published and things like that, then that's what we focus on. This person needs to talk about those things. So just understanding those small things, and Colombo never had the desire or the worry

about social status. And I find that when people get into trouble socially, they're typically worried about status. They're either, they see themselves as too low or they push themselves up high because they're very concerned and very frequently thinking about status and other people's status and where they fit into a pecking order. Super interesting. Any of the other moderators have anything to add here? Yeah, I think it's just interesting, you know, that Chase there is using that metaphor

of high and low in terms of status. And so you can think about when you want to make other people comfortable, you don't want to be taking the high ground too much. You want to make sure that they have literally the high ground, that they have some form of height over you. Or certainly you want some level with them. I think the place to go is can you level out the status of height so other people can feel comfortable? So again, if I approach people who are sitting, I want to get sitting to on the same level of them as quickly as possible. If I can't sit, maybe I want to crouch down a little bit, lower myself a little bit so I can talk at the same eye level as them. Because, yes, as Chase says there, people may be worried about their social status and that's happening in their paleo-mammalian brain.

the same time, their much older primitive reptilian brain, he's simply worried about being overshadowed. It literally gets worried if you pass a shadow over the top of it because it feels like there may be a predator above. Remember, five million years ago, we were worried about predators above and predators below, big cats which were already tall of enough, large predators in the air and also predators on the ground.

So try and get on the same level at people, literally make that idea of height, a reality, and not just a metaphor. I think that's great, Mark. I'll chase a little bit of the way. And same thing, too, about crowding, you know, depending on where you are culturally, especially if you're a bald person and you're so close to somebody who happens to be shorter than you, it feels like they're literally just coming down right on top of you, right? So sometimes just giving somebody a little bit of that space as you're getting to know them allows for the,

the equaling of the playing field that Mark was talking about, that equal status. It also shows that you're interested and receptive and you're trying to learn more about them, how you can serve and support them. So your physical body and your facial expression should match your intent going into the conversation. At YAP, we have a super unique company culture. We're all about obsessive excellence. We even call ourselves scrappy hustlers. And I'm really picky when it comes to my employee.

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And so I want to talk about authority next and how we can be more authoritative to set context for this and for everyone listening to understand how important being authoritative is and how powerful it can be. Chase, can you tell us about the Milgram experiment and how powerful authority can be? Yeah, so let me just set the stage really quick. It's 1962. It's a pretty cold day in Yale University. And these people respond to an ad in the newspaper. And essentially, they go into the the psychology building at Yale, which is Lindsay Chattonham Hall. And they basically get sat in a room next to a box, and there's a guy in the other room right beside them.

And every time he gets an answer on a test wrong, they have to shock him with electricity through the wall. And the voltage meter that's in front of you, as a volunteer, goes from zero to all the way to 450 and then says X, X, X, X, X, X, dangerous severe shock. So they predicted 0.09 people would go all the way to the end, shocking this person in another room who's screaming, you can hear him through the wall,

he's saying he's has a heart condition, and then stops responding altogether. How many people are going to keep shocking this guy? And they thought at 0.09% the actual results were between 64 and 67% of people would commit murder. And this took place in less than an hour. There's no insane body language skills. There's no persuasion.

There's no hypnosis. There's no influence tactics going on here. And this was during the Nuremberg trials of Nazi Germany. And the Nazis were saying, you know, we were just following orders. And Stanley Milgram's parents were Jewish. And he wanted to figure out, can this be true? Is this really true that somebody could say, I was just following orders? And this experiment's been replicated many times to rule out all the fallacies.

And it's got very similar results every time. So what makes a person do something so atrocious? Or we could just take it out of context for a minute. What makes a person feel like they have full permission to do something that is completely outside of their norm? What makes somebody do something very unusual for their character? and that authority plays a major role. And on one hand, part of that authority was this guy's wearing a lab coat. He resembles a doctor and there's articles on this.

If you want to go Google this later and you're listening now, you can look up white coat syndrome and how we're affected by perceived authority. Not just some authorities are unjust. And sometimes even a doctor can give a patient a diagnosis of a terminal illness incorrectly and the patient still dies. There's plenty of books and stuff written on this. But part of the thing that goes into the authority is our primitive brain, our mammalian brain, if you will, is always scanning, especially in events where we have little information.

So if something is new, and we're introducing the concept of novelty, the mammalian brain automatically starts scanning for what it perceived, as a potential authority figure and makes a decision to follow. And of course, there's tons of body language stuff here. But I would give you, you're listening right now, if you want the hard and fast tip, the number one thing to start triggering the other person's mammalian brain, which is what makes all of our decisions.

So our mammalian brain and stuff, all the stuff in the base of the brain, makes an emotional, unconscious decision, and then our conscious mind takes credit and rationalizes it most of the time. But if we want to trick someone's brain and thinking, wow, this might be an authority figure, I need to pay a little bit more attention here.

Try just for a few days. I want you to try this experiment. Try to not move any quicker than you would if you were in a swimming pool. Make that your maximum speed. If your body was underwater, how fast could I move? I want you to see the difference you get in the reaction from people that you're in conversations with this week.

But authority, above all else, persuasion, influence, or anything else, authority is programmed into our genetics because we didn't obey the tribal leader. We didn't listen to the tribe a million years ago, 100,000 years ago. We were outcast or we were killed and our genes, our DNA stops existing on Earth. So powerful. I think everyone is getting so much value out of this conversation. I want to pivot to Mark here. Can you talk to us about how we can hack authority and trigger an obedient response? Yeah, that's a really, really interesting question there.

Here's what I want to do to build on what Chase is saying there. We need to understand that not all tribes are the same. Different tribes have different values, beliefs, rituals, customs, goals, concerns, and signals. And we learn those for the tribe that we are a part of really early on. And when we change tribes, then we change those values for least richards, customs, goals, concerns, and signals. That can be really painful. That's really hard work. So look, here's what you need to understand.

It's the white coat in the Milgram experiment will not work everywhere. It will work in all the tribes where that white coat is seen as having value. But take that white coat and clipboard full of scientific ideas maybe to a homeopathic convention. and it may not have the same authority because that particular tribe have a different set of values and beliefs and goals and concerns. So the way to hack this system, I would say,

is to understand the person you are trying to influence and persuade, using authority, you need to understand that they are not an individual. They are part of a group. We are social mammals. Anybody who says, yeah, I'm a total individual,

you've got a problem. You've got a problem with being part of society, and it probably won't work out for you particularly well eventually. Okay? So we are part of group, and we need to work out how that individual, as part of that group, what value system they are underneath. And therefore, what are the signals we need to give them in order to trigger their paleo-mammalian brain to going?

That's a value signal. We pay attention to that. and we do what that signal says. So first of all, you've got to look at that individual and work out what tribe, what group, what society they're part of and they've signed up to. And what are the most valuable signals you could play them in order for them to start to behave in the way that you want them to behave? That's great.

And then the next question I have is for Amelia. I want to know what qualities or traits can kill our authority. Great question. So, you know, we're creatures of habits, right? Our brain is trying to detect unmatches, right? So being consistent in your tone, being consistent to what you're referring to, right, helps other people follow, learn, and validate what we're saying. So, for example, if I'm trying to say I like you, but my face is saying, I don't like you,

or if I am making a reference into it that's giving a mixed signal, right, people disconnect when there is a conflicting or mixed messaging, right? So, and so often, whether you're talking about a brand or a company or the, you know, team building, any time you give a mixed message, right, people stop. They pause. They create no action. And so all of those mind, body and spirit, mind, body and your intention have to be in alignment to convey the message that you intend in a way to land it to the audience on what's important for them. And so all of that is at play.

The more that you can align internally with what your intention is, what are you trying to accomplish. So at least you get your side right, then it gives you more opportunity to then. and figure out how are you going to connect with what's going on outside of self. But the biggest behavioral tools are internal tools that create exponential outside results. Yeah, and how about the body language or the way that we dress or even our blink rate? Maybe Chase, you can talk to this. Like, what are some of the things that just show that we are not authoritative and we have no authority? Well, going on to what Mark said, in our society or in the tribe, as Mark would put it, how do authority figures dress and how do they look?

There was a great experiment done with this called the crosswalk experiment for this guy in blue jeans and a t-shirt, breaks the crosswalk when he's not supposed to and he crosses the street. Of course, there's no cars coming. A couple of people follow him through the crosswalk. But the same guy goes and puts on a suit and tie. and decides to cross the crosswalk and increases the amount of people that follow him across the crosswalk by around 80%. And this is profound that just the clothing or the appearance of that person was enough to, you know, break the law. And we also see this in these experiments called the bystander effect where someone's laying down on the floor or on the ground in a subway station, crying for help. and the statistics actually prove that the more people that are around you, if you're in need of help,

you get, God forbid, you get stabbed or something like that or you get sick or mugged, the more people that are around, the less likely you are to get help. And that's the same thing that's going on in our head that we talked about. The brain is on this constant scan for authority. And in this case, one person doesn't have it, the crowd does. and in this case, the crowd forms a silent contract not to help. And the moment that we see someone, maybe we're looking, you know, we have this social obligation to do what everyone else is doing. And of course, nobody thinks they would fall victim to that.

Nobody. But of course, evolution says otherwise. But the moment we see someone start heading towards the person that needs help, they're deviating from the group. we look at them because we also want to help. So we have a potential accomplice. But then if we looked at them when they were wearing shabby clothes or they also looked sick or like they needed help, we'd be less likely to help or their posture was poor. They weren't really paying attention to what they were doing. And we're wondering, oh, maybe they don't even see that person that needs help, even though they're walking towards them.

So there's so many visual cues that our brain's reading unconsciously all the time. A lot of those are posture and speed of movement. If there's one thing, I think a lot of body language experts, probably everyone here can agree with this, speeds up different parts of our body. So fear makes our body move a little bit faster. So go back to a experiment and try that again. Don't move faster than you could if your body was underwater. And Huller, remember, we're also using these same behavioral tools behind the scenes.

You know, a lot of the work that we do is on. set on TV with our A-A-list personalities, right? So even though the talent actually is small, we broaden them with their closing so that we have, you know, shoulder pads so that the gentleman looks like he has more of that stature. When we shoot, we shoot in an angle so he appears taller. In placement next to other talent, we put them up on a box so that they appear to be bigger, right, because we're portraying the character. When we're, we're doing talk show environments. If you notice, if you pay attention now, you'll look, you'll notice that the host, right, their chair is slightly bigger and elevated over the guest. It's only about an

inch or so different, but they are shot differently than the guest. The guest is shot in an angle where the host is shot straight on. The chair is a little bit higher, and these are all subconscious cues of status that you're talking about. about. And so you're seeing them from the marketing side that your body is getting conditioned for them. So what we're talking about is reverse engineering them when you want to use them for your favor. So for myself, when I wear red, that gives a different signal to an audience than I wear blue. So if you look at the stuff that I've done more on, say, Fox and CNBC and that type of stuff, you'll see me in blue.

If you see me where I'm being more in a role of an expert, you're going to see me on red. If I'm working with a younger audience, you're going to see me in yellow, right? And so you have all of these tools around you, behavioral tools that you can use to your advantage based on your desired outcome. Or is your desire to engage so that you're helping and serving? is your desire to be authoritative so people are listening, is your desire for credibility so that you're respected, and all of it, body language, choice of word, color, height, positioning, all makes a difference in the outcome and response that you're getting from others.

And let's look at it from the other side of the coin. So you guys are giving us advice on how to be authoritative. Now, what if we're in a situation and someone is, commanding authority and we don't want to be manipulated. Like, what should we do as people to kind of keep our eyes open and not become accidental murderers like the Milgram experiment? And any mod who wants to answer this can. Sure, I can jump in there, Hall.

Look, here's what you need to understand, I think. For example, in Canada right now, if I put on a police uniform and walk down the street, I can be prosecuted for imprisonment for up to five. years. This is called impersonating a police officer. Now, why five years for just putting on a costume? The reason is, is the power that that image has. Authority knows that the major amount of power is in the dress there, is in the symbols that somebody else sees and how they'll get triggered into obedience. And that's been done in the paleo- mammalian brain. You were taught that obedience. You were talk. When you see this badge, when you see that hat, when you see that uniform, start to do

specific actions around that, be compliant. So what we need to do in order to override or countermeasure the mammalian brain there and all its training is to use critical thinking and the neocortex. That part of the brain is only about 200,000 years old. It's pretty new, but it's super powerful. The first thing you want to do is start asking questions of the authority figure. Just any question you like, any question, anything you can think of, okay? You just want to start asking a question because that's the start of critical thinking. And when you start that critical thinking process, you'll start to see if the authority figure in front of you starts to respond to your questioning of them and starts the lower, their status. Okay? So any question that pops into mind, the first question you can think of,

whether it's, what do you think of the weather today? Or where did you get your shoes from? Anything that you can come up with will start to puncture the obedience trigger system that often these symbols that have been played on you are having on you. There's my thoughts. Chase Blanca, Amelia, anything to add here? Yeah, absolutely. I think. What Mark was saying is absolutely, I agree with 100%. And awareness is the number one way to avoid this. So the more you know about this stuff,

if you just learn a little bit of neuroanatomy. So if you're listening right now and you stick your fingers and your ears, you're going to be pointing towards the mammalian part of your brain and understanding just where it is and how it starts to work in environments like this when we respond to authority figures, understanding that a lot of this is coming from a million-year-old part of your brain. That awareness is what gives you control. And you're basically taking what's operating in the dark and shining a big flashlight on it. So we're not going to meditate our way out of a million years of evolution. It's not going to

happen. So I think understanding that awareness is the best way to do it. Awesome. So I'm going to quickly reset the room here. So welcome to everybody who's tuning in. I see a lot of you guys are hanging out. That means that you're finding value in our conversation. And the next thing I want to talk about is building trust and how to tell when someone's lying. So let's start with detecting deception. And Blanca, I know you're an expert on this topic. How can we tell if someone is lying? Well, first I want to say how you can't tell. And there is no universal body language signs that lets you know that somebody's lying. A lot of times people, if you think back to Pinocchio, the Disney character,

every time Pinocchio lied in the nose group. Unfortunately, we don't have that. There's different tells that people have. A lot of it goes back to the baseline that I was talking about. But again, keep this in mind, just because there's a change in somebody's behavior, doesn't necessarily mean that they're lying. It could be that they're uncomfortable. Maybe whatever question or topic is making them think of something in the past, something that they heard, something that they know about somebody else.

However, when you can start pairing up changes in body language, but really listening into the words, what people are saying, what they're not saying, that can give you a sense of maybe there's a hot spot. Hot spot, I think, is a more appropriate word because I don't want for people to say, oh, I heard this. So that means somebody's automatically lying. No, not necessarily so. But listen again to what somebody's saying, what they're not saying. It can even go like when you study their grammar, for example, like pronoun you, this is a good example. If somebody is committed to what they're saying, you're going to hear them say, I. I did this.

I did that. I thought of this. I went here. I went there because they're making a commitment to what they're saying. But if somebody starts saying, went to the store, was six o'clock, went. home took a nap. Okay, wait a second. You're not hearing a commitment to what they're saying. Also, change in pronouns. Because I'm talking about pronouns. I'll go on this just for a little bit and let somebody else chat more about it. But you want for them to introduce a pronoun.

So say when I went to the store with Bob, but later on in the conversation, the person says, oh yeah, and then she said, but they're only talking about Bob. So they're switching on you. You have to make sure you're talking about it. But when you're asking somebody, question for clarification, you want to come at it that you just want clarifying information. You've got the pronoun mixed up. You're talking about Bob and you're talking about she, but I don't know who she is. You got to be careful. You've got to be careful not to make assumptions. You have that's clarifying question. Thank you so much, Blanca. Mark Chase, Amelia, anything to add when it comes to detecting deception or building trust? Yeah, let me just add one thing in here, which is important to

know, I think, is that lying is one of our most important social skills, as is telling the truth. And the key is to know when to lie and when to tell the truth in order to fit in with the social group that you're part of. We all have to, you know, fabricate or exaggerate in order to get along with people. And we all have to accept fabrications and exaggerations in order to get along. So I think people should understand that you don't want to become too good at the lies most of the time, else what you'll end up with is some kind of antisocial behavioral disorder. So what you really want to know is when things really count, when things really matter to you, if you could get closer to the truth, would that be helpful?

And so the process that I use really is a critical thinking process. It's just thinking more about the body language that you've seen, the words that you've heard, the context that that's all in, gathering even more information and intelligence around that, and then taking your first assumptions about what somebody said and how they behave, and now putting that against some new assumptions that you might have, now you've thought a little bit better about it. And the thing about this critical thinking process is that it can be quite short,

it takes quite a bit of brain power to do it. And so most of the time, you won't do it because it's a little bit hard. But when things really matter, when you're thinking about important relationships, important deals, important moments in your life with people who you maybe don't know so well or trusting them immediately could be at a higher risk. That's when you just want to use a little more critical thinking. Look at the body language more, the language more, bring some new assumptions in and test them against your old assumptions.

I'd like to add to what Mark just said. And I love what he just said because it really works well in sales. And I'll tell you why. So in sales, people have objections, but they may not tell you exactly what's going on. But if you can understand the body language or the hesitations that they might have, but then you can flip the script and you can identify what those hidden or silent objections are, then it turns out to be a win-win. So that's really good and a great example of what Mark was talking about

and then how you can apply it in sales. Awesome. And Amelia, I think you were going to say something as well. Yeah, I was going to also kind of just chime in with Mark was saying, you know, for me, it's not, are you lying to me? The question that I'm really looking at is why are you lying to me, right? And so, again, I like what Bianca was saying, it's a hot spot, right? Instead of saying it's lying because there's a lot of natural reasons why people fabricate, is that when somebody is giving you more detail than is required is usually the trigger for me that they are.

are embellishing or not telling the truth. But the comfort zones for lying for many people is lying by omission, right? So that's another behavior thing to also explore, which always then leads to be able to say, well, why are they lying? And is that work that needs to be done on your side or is that some baggage that they're carrying? Got it. And, Chase, what are your thoughts on this topic? Yeah, 100% agree with everybody here.

And if you want to dig into some tactics, let's just do two very quick tactics to make this a little better. The first would be, number one, is that you have to look for deviations in that person's baseline. There's non-baselaners out there. How do they normally act? And is there something different here? And finally, the best question, if you think you're being deceived or you think someone is being deceitful, is to ask something called a bait question. and all you would do here is just say the following words, is there any reason and then give them a plausible out or a plausible way to where they could re-explain that and start putting the truth into their answer. And to continue on with this tactical advice, what body language cues do people give off when they're lying versus when they're telling the truth?

Mark, how about you answer that one? Yes, so just to reiterate there that there is no single definitive cue there, it's literally a fairy tale if somebody tells you that there is. But what are some of the things we might see that are outside their usual baseline? Well, I guess simple things to look for are just anxiety. So we might see blink rate go up significantly. We might see self-soothing. So that would be them rubbing their own skin with, you know, other parts of their body. we might see them cover over the joints of their body,

so a hand goes over the elbow or the wrist or the fingers or over their knee. Again, behaviors that you might do if you are under physical stress and pressure, when under the mental stress and pressure of fabricating, and there's a lot of risk involved, people will start to protect themselves. They might start to minimize, they might start to tuck their vital organs away from you, I mean, there's a whole heap of things. But unfortunately, there are some very good reasons why they'll do exactly the same behaviors. And it won't be because they're lying.

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So interesting. So we're going to continue on. If you guys have a question for the moderators, now is your time to raise your hand. And I'm going to start bringing up people on stage. while we do that, if you're raising your hand, make sure you know exactly what you're going to say. This is recorded for Young and Profiting Podcasts, so try to keep it concise so we can get to as many questions as possible

in these last minutes here. And I'm going to just go over one question with the mods and feel free. Anybody who feels enticed to answer the question, just come off mute and answer the question. And it's around COVID because all of a sudden, you know, once COVID hit and everyone was in quarantine and many people started working from home,

It's like our lives severely changed. We went from seeing people in the office every day to then being on Zoom calls. And a lot of our human interaction where we would see body language and things like that has been taken away from us. And now we really only have our screens. And so I want to understand what your thoughts are in regards to technology and human behavior and how it's impacting society and what we can do to still command authority or to seem more friendly when we are not able to see people in person now and we just have our devices? Well, I was going to recommend Mark Bowden's YouTube video that specifically talks about this.

Every time someone asks me about Zoom body language, I just send them a link to Mark's video. So please look at that first. But I would say that your background is very important. And I think we have some really good benefits to Zoom. that if you're learning behavior and your learning body language, you can have your notes on what you want to look for. And the pronouns, the adjectives someone use, how fast they're blinking, how often they touch their face,

all the cool things you want to learn. You can have that stuff on your screen and nobody knows. So you could have that on Zoom and build up your skills while we're going through this lockdown phase. Thanks for pulling that out, Jake. Go see my videos. I actually train Zoom, how to use Zoom, in terms of their presentation and how they show up. But you might want to check out my YouTube video.

Lots of stuff there. But two quick tips for you. There are a couple of things that cameras do incredibly well. They do close up incredibly well, and they do big, long shot context really well. So as Chase was saying there, think about your background, the context that you're in, and think about getting close to the camera so we can see the detail in your, face. So the detail in your face and the context that you're in will help people understand what exactly and how and the intention and the feeling with which you're communicating.

And I'd like to add to that. When you see a screen, it's very natural that you're going to look at the screen because you think about it. When you see yourself in the mirror, what do you do? When you see a mirror, what do you do? You look at yourself, whether you're fixing your hair, brush or your teeth, whatever it is that you're doing. So, but to simulate eye contact in a screen or when you're on Zoom, you really have to look into the camera. And it can be very awkward because you're looking into a black hole and there's no eyeballs looking back at you. But that is how you're going to project some connection,

some interest and some words through that camera. So people always ask me, like, so when do I look at the screen? You can look at the screen when you're listening. But when you're really trying to make a point and talk, you want to look in the camera because it really is stimulating, like, in-person conversation, although it can feel very awkward. Amelia, any thoughts on this topic?

I just concur with all of them. I mean, your background is a representation, and it tells and communicate the message about who you are. And people notice it. So if you want to stay on brand, then your background should match it. One of the, I was doing a interview. I was trying to hire somebody, and they were talking about how organized they were, and it was a mess in the background. And I was like, something about this.

I just don't believe you. Same thing. What Blanca has talked about, eye contact, move. your camera so that your camera is in more alignment where your natural eye level is at. This way, you're not feeling uncomfortable, which means the camera, you know, does lie pick up on that anxiety. So use the tools around you so that you put your best foot forward. Great. So now everybody who's on stage, be sure to have a concise question. Keep it to under one, two minutes, max. Crystal, you're up first and how can we help you?

Thanks, Paula. I love your show. I'm also a podcast. So I have a podcast with Greatly. And what I have found is a lot of my big guests, I have gotten through connections and relationship building. But if there's someone that I don't have any mutual connections with and I reach out to them, I'm wondering if you guys have any insights as far as word choices to use. I've heard like using the word support to be really beneficial. But I'm wondering, again, if you just have any suggestions for specific words that you can make me more trust. for people to be able to connect with you.

I'd like to jump in here. And how do you pronounce your name? Crystal. Crystal. So if you have an important meeting or anything with someone, I've never given this away outside of one of my trainings. But here's what I would recommend. You go on to LinkedIn or if they don't have a LinkedIn, their social profile,

and scroll down to the recommendations that they have left for other people. So what we tend to compliment other people on is what we like to hear and we like to be complimented on. Look at what they recommend to other people and look at the pronouns, the adjectives, and the words that are in there. Those are going to be the most valuable thing that you could possibly get before a meeting when you're meeting with somebody. And I'll jump on with what Chase is, Andrew Chase, Chase, like 100% agree, is understand. their focus and what's have meaning to them. So if you can understand what they're working on on how what you are doing helps them in the momentum of what they're working on, they're more likely to listen versus when you're pitching something that has nothing to do with their

interests, they're just going to move on. Awesome, Crystal. Did we help you? Did we answer your question? You guys are awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Mertil, you're up next. How can we help you today. This is my very first question. So I'm a little nervous. So thank you. I've just started a new podcast. So my question is, what do you do when you mess up? So, you know, you flip up on the question or you call the person by the wrong name or you do something like that. How do you move forward from that, especially if it's in a live or a situation? What do you do there? Thank you so much. I appreciate you taking my question. I'll jump in. Use your charming personality. I mean, I can hear your little giggle in your voice. We're all human and nobody,

no client is expecting perfection. So roll with it, giggle with it. Be honest and say, oh my God, I can't believe I just did that. I'm so sorry. Don't assume that the audience didn't know. You know, they know, acknowledge it, be human and people will love you 10 times more for it. Yeah, I would agree, you know, acknowledge what's happened, correct it, and move on. Look, what we're doing here is pop culture, which means, you know, this thing that we're doing today, it'll kind of be gone tomorrow, and we'll make another one and another one and another one. And that's all you need to keep doing, is just making, making, making stuff, improving all the time, correcting things when they go wrong and just moving forward and making better each time.

I'll tell you, Myrtle, so, you know, just Steve Harvey, right, one of my clients, his biggest tagline, I Am Your Man, was an accident. He walked out and said it on a free show. and was just chuckling or wrong, and it happened to be something that actually stuck and then I got part into the brand. So stay in sync with your faux pause because sometimes that's your subpoena inner calling coming right out

to let you know. It's an omen. Yes, and I'd like to add one more thing to that. If you don't make it a big deal, it's not going to come across as a big deal. So keep that in mind. People are going to respond. They're going to take their lead from you and how you respond to your own faux paul.

This is all great advice, and I'd like to have a follow-up question to this. So earlier in this session, I said, I'm sorry. And I know that's a big no-no when you're trying to be authoritative or command any sort of influence. So can you talk to us about the words I'm sorry and what that kind of triggers to other people when you say that? Yeah, I think many times, probably 99 out of 100, you can replace the I'm sorry with a thank you. So instead of I'm sorry I'm late, we could say thank you so much for waiting. I didn't expect to be late. So a lot of of any scenario that you can envision yourself apologizing to someone, just think for a few

seconds here, we can replace most of those with a thank you and replace sorriness with some gratitude. I love that advice. Yeah, I would add to that and just say that, you know, sorry is a cultural, depends which group you're part of as to how much you should or should not say sorry, how authoritative it can be or not. For example, I'm English and we don't tend to say sorry for anything that we don't think we're actually responsible for.

I actually live in Canada now. And people say sorry all the time for stuff that they have zero power over. And so, you know, it's tricky for me because I've changed tribes. I've moved from England to Canada and there's different value systems. So look, you've got to work out for yourself. what is the value system you're under and what you're going to apologize for and what you're not going to apologize for and probably just stick with that. And how it even is really is an apology, right? Where is the habit that is causing you to say I'm sorry and to examine, as Mark is saying, is that really what you want to say?

Is it really that you're saying you're sorry or is it maybe a more appropriate word for you so that you change your behavior and you step into the better version of your. yourself, right? Because nobody was expecting a sorry when you said sorry because there wasn't anything to say sorry for. So I think it's an internal conversation. Absolutely. And I would like to add to that. I talked about this on the Dr. Oz show, talking about that women tend to say, I'm sorry more than men and what they could use as replacement. And so picking up on what Amelia saying, you could say, oops, did you use oops or pardon me or excuse me? Like what are some substitute words? And this goes along with what Chase is saying. Also, they could replace I'm sorry with thank you.

So you just have to depend on the context and what's happening and what you're going to say that you can use some substitute words. And you still get the message across, but you're just not saying I'm sorry because too much of I'm sorry can really not make you look as powerful

because everything you're sorry about. And some people can misinterpreted that as weakness. You have a super cool name. So make it a ho-la moment. Thank you. Thank you. This is all such great advice. Mertl,

I hope that we answered your question. and I'm so happy that you had the confidence to come up here on stage. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. That was fantastic. Yes, great answers. I appreciate it very much. I took great notes.

Awesome. Okay, so Ed, you're up next. What's your question? How can we help you? Thank you for this master's course today in conversation. So what you guys are great, all that's nice to connect with you. I know we've been trying to get you on my From the Heart podcast. And Blanca and I spoke this morning about the same topic.

And that leads me to my question, obviously, in the podcasting world, and a lot of the communication world, Holly, you asked my question I was going to when I raised my hand about the nonverbal and Blanca. And I talked about that this morning a little bit as well on Zoom and in our pandemic world we're in. But talk to me a little bit about the use of voice. Most of the people that listen to our podcasts are not watching us. So there is no real nonverbal. Can you talk a little bit about just voice inflection and. emphasis on certain words and ending sentences, just any expertise, any of you would love to share

about the use of voice as opposed to just a nonverbal. Great question. Who wants to answer that? Well, I can step in from a branding standpoint. I'm sure the other experts may be better at voice inflection, but to, because we're now in an auditory mediums with podcasting, to create and set up those moments so that the audience knows what to anticipate. So that's part of the reason why you've got certain segments. You talk and you set up the segment. But you can have cute little signature either tones that let somebody coming. If you look at a lot of the really well done talk shows and podcasts,

they have intros and they have outroes what tells the audience what to anticipate. They have little pings and pongs that kind of reinforces. what's happening. One of the big podcast that's out there is drop the mic and they literally drop mic when somebody says something amazing. So use props and tones to reinforce what your show is going

to be about and when you land those messages for a signature for your branding. I love that. I appreciate that. Yeah, my podcast is called From the Heart as I mentioned and so I always end and I guess giving Blanca and hopefully hall a preview of when you come on. The last question I will ask is what's in your heart?

play on my last name, but it's also the whole purpose of the podcast is not necessarily what do you do, but why do you do it? What is in your heart? What drive you? So give us a heart sound. So maybe it's the strumming of a heart when somebody says a heart moment. And then people realize that is coming from you. And then at the end of the week, you can post all the hearty moments from your show, which also then bails traction. And then you can use the chicken suit from the soul methodology and put all. a thousand of those stories into a book and then push out a book, and then you can then have merchandise that also follows it and so on and so forth.

That's awesome. I love it on New Year's Day. I actually took my first 48 episodes from 2020. I've got a few cents, but I actually captured the last 20 to 60 seconds of my guest telling me what was in their heart. So I like the idea of now pushing out forward the book and the merchandise and so forth. You're reading my mind. Thank you.

And Ed, I'll just say this really quick. 30 seconds here. They built a machine at MIT called a sociometer that measures charisma, and it has like a 99% accuracy rating. And it only really measures two things. And that one is the movement of someone's body, whether or not they're animated when they speak. And the other one is tonality shifts and whether or not their pitch goes up and down and their tone goes up and down while they're speaking. And that was an artificial intelligence identified that as. One of the top three things for how a person gets seen as a leader or charismatic. Thank you, Chase. I jotted that down. I appreciate that. That's excellent.

Yeah, because, you know, we hear the statistics, I think, all that said it at the top of the show about 70% of our message is nonverbal, and then I don't know what the numbers are. I know, Blanca, you and I talked about that a little bit this morning about how much of it is voice versus words. Any thoughts from the last question? Then I'm going to shut up. I know there's others on what those percentages really are as far as the nonverbal,

the verbal and the voice. Well, obviously, those percentages, even if they were true in the first place, which they might, could absolutely skew if you're only on a voice platform. I mean, you know, that's all you got. All you got now is my voice. So what are you going to do? Yeah, you could look at my face there in front of you, maybe, and this little kind of brown thing that kind of keeps flashing on and off.

I mean, you can look at that. Look, those Moravian figures are not ever particularly accurately described. So I wouldn't pay very much attention to those. Just know that on a sound platform, we are making all our judgments about you right now based on the tone of your voice. Yes, you might come with a frame, i.e. a bio that you gave us or a picture of you. But then in the moment of hearing your voice, we judge you. and the music of your voice will help us judge. Is it going to be good for us, or is there a risk involved?

Thank you so much for your question, Ed. And I would love to come on your podcast. I think it's just, I've just been getting so many messages lately, so it just slipped. So I'd love to come on your podcast. Definitely DM me or email me and we'll definitely set that up. Thank you so much for your question. So I want to do a time check. I know we're two minutes to the hour.

Mark Chase, do you guys want to hang on and answer some more questions? or do you want to say your goodbyes? I know you guys have a recording. Yeah, you know, we have to go and do our recording of the behavior panel together. So certainly I think we're going to drop out of this. It's been great hearing from all of you, all the other panelists, and thank, Pala, for having me on the show. And I'm going to drop off now and join the behavior panel.

So, Chase, I'm going to see you there. Thanks, thanks everybody for listening. Thanks so much. for having us on very much. We're heading over to record an episode of the behavior panel. I appreciate you guys. And Blanca, Amelia, great to talk to you guys as well. Hopefully we can connect offline.

I'd love that. Thanks everybody for tuning in. See you. Ciao. Thank you guys so much. Rob, you're up next. How can we help you? Yeah, thank you for having me.

Fortunately, I did want to talk to Chase real quick, but that's okay. because as a retired Navy SEAL, I came from a background as developing informant while working in a combat zone like him and really developed an appreciation for human behavior. And honestly, like most deals, I'm an average looking guy with humble backgrounds. So, you know, when I tell people,

I was going to SEAL training, they were like, I'm sure you don't want to be an accountant or something. You know, in my class, we had a guy who was an Olympic athlete, and like when he told people, they're like, yeah, well, that makes sense for you. But the interesting thing when we were talking about a story, is I saw the power of authority during steel training during Hell Week really is the first time I got to grasp of how powerful it is. And everyone that goes into steel training has this mentality, I'll never quit.

And then all of a sudden, Hell Week breaks out. And for the first hour, it's intense and it's fun and they're blowing stuff up around you. And then you're just in the freezing cold water sitting around with your thoughts. And no one's quitting until that Olympian stands up and decides he's done. and he starts heading to the bell to quit. And as soon as he did that, there had to been 15 to 20 guys. They couldn't line up fast enough behind him. And the reality of that phenomenon was that this Olympian can't make it,

how can I make it? Because you're already in your own head questioning yourself. So I love to talk about authority. And I do have a question on it. You talked about it as far as hosts getting an edge and kind of sitting a little bit higher. I also have noticed that's why courts designed the courts. the way they do that. These grand hallways and these pillars and marble and they really make you feel less than they are, which gives them an edge. So I'd like to know, because we do a lot of

negotiations and we're negotiating every day, how would you guys suggest using this as a hacking tool to ethically use in a negotiation situation? There's a lot of tools that you can use in negotiations. You know, one of the first ones that we always use, especially in like a conference room environment. where a lot of these negotiations happen, so if I can put that as a visual for a second, is being able to have fidget tools on the table. Because what somebody chooses,

whether they fidget with a paper clip versus a pencil or a pen or whether they doodle, but that behavior tells you about the person that you're negotiating with, it also gives you an entry into how to unwind that behavior. right so by putting those type of things on the table gives you a tell the other thing is by positioning yourself as the good cop bad cop the friendly you see this with law enforcement all the time right that somebody is the one who offers them the food the snack or you're tired or the lights too bright right right

that's the good cop and then you have the hammer so in negotiations that buddy system is very powerful when done right. That's amazing. I never thought about using fidget tools and whatnot. And, you know, I think a lot of the things that we used to do downrange translates, but it's really about trying to say ethical. And I think what you just described, it's so simple, but, you know, I guess the simple things are never easy. But thank you for sharing that because that was brilliant. Great job, Amelia. Thank you so much, Rob. We're going to move to the next question. Paul, you're up next. How can we help you? Hi, I'm lovely to hear you all here. I am a magician and an actor and a podcaster.

And one of the people that I had on my podcast is Mark Bowdo. Who he actually, I've worked, he's a friend and we worked together. He used to directly at drama school, actually. And one of the things that I was going to bring up with him in the room actually was we were talking about authenticity. And he brought up a great point about. authenticity because I was saying, you know, one of the things certainly we're doing the podcast is gaining rapport or having rapport with the person you're talking to and being authentic. And he put up a fantastic point and I wondered what you guys also thought about it was that

authenticity cuts differently depending on whom you're talking to because he said to me, if you're talking to your mother, you are authentic, but you talk in a certain way. but if you're talking to your best friend, you're equally authentic, but it's a different authenticity. And I found that really interesting. And so that's sort of one thing that I would be interested in people's point of view. And also my podcast, which was the magic of the podcast, being a magician, I'm interested in actually the creative connections between people. So I'm interested in actors and magicians and speakers and podcasters and finding those artistic connections and creative connections and that's something that I find fascinating.

And so in gaining rapport, my podcast goes on for ages. But I think the more you actually get in with someone, the more you start talking, and certainly over a period of time, you can unlock some of the more interesting and untold stories from them. And that's something I found doing my podcast and being interested to hear you guys' point of view. I'd love to start with answering your question about authenticity. I completely agree with Mark.

Yes, and you're still being authentic because what you're doing essentially, using the examples, like how you talk to your mother and your best friend can be different, because you're appealing to what interests them. It's learning about that person and what their preferences are and their likes and their dislike. And so you're still being authentic, but you're catering to that person, but you're still bringing your real self to them, just like you would with your mother. or you do with your doctor or you do with your child. So it's very different.

But it's really assimilating into that other person but still being true to yourself and what you can contribute to continue to develop rapport and trust and likeability. And I'll just jump on that Blancin. It was awesome. It's to also understand like you're in your power of authenticity. Sometimes that triggers your audience with the person on the other side. Sometimes when I'm in my most authentic self, something that's going on for them, work that they are still working on is getting triggered and then create a response that they're threatened by my authenticity. So always mastering the skill of empathy, what's happening to the person that I'm communicating, what's my intention, how is it being received.

you know, the art of communication is to effectively transmit the intention that you intended. Until my intention is on your side, the responsibility stays with me. Until you confirm that you understand what I intended in my message, then it goes on the other side. And when you can feel that that energy is not smoothly translating, sometimes it's pulling back so that they can rise to as much as they can in their highest and best self. But lots of times, the work is just left on their other side. And then just as a total side note call,

I'm a huge fan of magicians because that is the art of behavior to the fullest extent. And so you are a behaviorist in so many forms when you can capture the audience's attention to what you want them to look at and ignore the other queue. So, Bravo to you. It's a skill I definitely don't have, but I admire. Thank you. I mean, you bring up a really important point there, I think, as well, which moves into context and nuance.

And I am comedic, and I can skirt along the edge of fence. And in communication, we, you know, there is always, we're living in a dangerous time now that anything will offend somebody. And so it comes back to you before. And context and nuance are so important, the context of our conversation that allows me to say certain things that I wouldn't say in this platform, but we would be sitting together. We know each other. And then I'm able to say because of the context of the conversation. Yeah. And unfortunately, you know, again, from the behavior, so many people have been conditioned to pick up other people's back.

baggage, pick up other people's suitcase, and you do such a disservice when you try to do their work. First of all, you cannot do their work. And second of all, you rob them from the opportunity to, A, become into awareness that they're carrying a very heavy suitcase, and B, that they have to choose free will to put the suitcase down and then create new tools to rise less burdened and less heavy. And so with good intentions, we do a lot of painful acts. And so that is where I always try to tie us back to empathy to understand that when you're getting a response from an individual that isn't what you expected or wasn't what you intended, first to explore whose side is that really falling on. And what can you do differently to align with what you're

attention is. And that's just an art form and skills, things that the panel, Blanca, we teach to help empower people so that they are not rooted in so much pain, bitter, angry, and resentful, because they're not getting the response from people that they hope or anticipated. Great questions, Paul. Thank you so much for your contribution to this conversation. I'm going to reset the room really quickly. And then also follow ClubPod. I'm going to be hosting rooms in here almost every single day, be it podcast hours or Yap live events like this. You don't want to miss them. Make sure you follow me on Clubhouse, tap the bell for always, and also follow Blanca and Amelia on Clubhouse and on Instagram. So I hope you guys do that. And we're going to move to the

next question here. Madeline, you're up. How can we help you? Hey, I, first of all, I'm loving the content and interactions here. I'm a developmental mental coach, and I focused on epigenetics and inherited family trauma and how it affects human behavior. So I'm curious about, we've been thinking of focusing. It seems like more on other people's behavior in terms of hacking and figuring them out. And I'm wondering if there's any way for us to actually hack our own behavior, if you guys have these tips on that.

I mean, I have certain tools, but I'm curious what tools you might have. and also if it would be useful for us to even track within ourselves things like are we using pronouns, how quickly are we talking in terms of skills that we would use to see if somebody else's line to take those perspective onto ourselves to track ourselves and to see if there's anything off in ourselves that we may not intuitively be feeling at the time. I'll jump on here. So, Madeline, first of all, I love epaetic. It's a brand new awareness, I would say, over the last couple of years, even though it's been in our space for such a long time.

If you follow me on Instagram and send me a DM, I will send you a free entrance into the Genius Key. I would love to show you how we do exactly that with lots of data sets that basically show you exactly what's coming in from your family lineage and your false beliefs that are in your DNA. and then what you have added on to your ID, and then it walks you through to either accept that it is working for you or say that it's not working for you, and then it leads you right into what does that mean to me? So if you just DM me on Instagram, I would love to work with you because I think your work is work of where we're going to

over the next couple of years, especially people who are in so much pain right now because of COVID, because of the isolation, and we see it in so many of the numbers with, medicating and suicide and stuff like that. And they don't even realize that a lot has been held and stored inside of our body and inside of our lineage. So I'd love to talk to you offline if you don't mind.

I'd like to add to what Amelia said. And yes, I think it's definitely well worth looking at yourself. And I'm really happy that you brought this up, Madeline, because so many people are focused on the other person. What is the other person saying? How are they acting towards me? Do they like me? Do they not like me?

What are they telling me the truth? But what people tend to forget is that you're part, and I'm talking about the universal you here, that you're part of the equation. So the vibes that you're putting out, somebody is responding to and they're throwing back at you. So it is a very good idea to figure out what are your triggers? What makes you happy?

What makes you sad? What makes you fearful? What makes you angry? What is it about this person that you just isn't quite, you gel with? It's really important to know what those triggers are because then you have a way to combat them, to counteract them. You have a way to come up with a different type of response.

So, again, I think it's a very great question that you bring up, and it's worth it to everyone to reflect on their own body language and their own tonality and their own response and triggers. I totally agree. Thank you so much, Madeline, for your thoughtful question. Tracy, you're up next. How can we help you? Hello.

Hi. Thank you so much for having me on the stage. It's really been a super valuable conversation here. My question is when I'm in a room with two or three people, I can speak. I'm very confident and I can negotiate and sell no problem. But once it comes to crowd-facing or public speaking or something as simple as getting into a clubhouse call

and being up on stage, my nerves finally take over. And then, you know, once that happens, my voice gets shaky, my brain draws blank. I'm suddenly not thinking clearly. And then the authority and everything kind of just goes away. So my question is,

is there a behavioral or mental hack that you could provide that would help prepare me and also just be in the moment? So then that way I will always have that just to regain and keep the sense of authority and confidence

in a room once that happens. Yes, I have a couple of ideas And one thing that's very helpful, I think, is think about your intent before you get on stage. Think about your intent before you press the microphone and start talking on Clubhouse. What is it that you want to share? How is it that you want to come across? When you think about your intent, it helps take these focus off the view because then you're thinking about the people to whom you're going to be talking to. So if we can transfer that from being on Clubhouse and being straight audio and you're standing in front of a crowd.

So whether it's in person or in Zoom and you're on Zoom and you're talking to a lot of people, then my advice is this. Pick out one person at a time that you want to talk to. Because what you're doing is you're still sending the message and everybody's going to get it, but it will help calm your nerves if you're looking at that one person at a time. And then you can go, your next point, then you can transfer your eye contact from that one person to the second person.

And then again, later on to a third person. And then some people, some of my clients will say, you know, Blanc, I get really nervous looking at somebody in the eye. I'm not very comfortable with that. Okay, this is the tip that I have for you. So if you can imagine an inverted triangle that starts with the outside corner of one eyebrow, goes straight across to the outside corner of the opposite eyebrow, goes through the tip of the nose, and then back to the original starting point of that first eyebrow.

That's an inverted triangle. And so then you can give people eye contact anywhere in that area, and it's going to simulate as though you're looking at them in the eye. This works for in person. And it makes you feel more comfortable, the universal view, if you're unsure about eye contact and the other person feels like you're really talking to them. And I'll hop on here.

So when we're helping people with TV, stage work, even filming, we find that when we give you a prop, right? So instead of using a lavalier, which a lot of speakers like to do that, which leaves their hands free, which causes more anxiety, many times holding the microphone, because the microphone becomes a prop,

gives you that stability to get over just those first couple of moments, before you find your level or your state of calm. But you can create your own prop, something that you can either hold on to. The prop could be entrance music. The prop could be something in the background that you may be looking at

that nobody else realizes they're there. One of my most adorable personalities that we built, we actually used to put, if anybody remembers, those little big-eye dolls. And so we used to put the little big-eye dolls on the other side of the monitors. The audience never saw them. but every time there was a big eye doll, he would smile.

And so the audience saw a smile, but what he saw was all the big eye dolls, which allowed him to stay friendly, keep smiling, tell a joke. So find yourself the props that allow you to step into your best self. Oh my gosh, so many value bombs. Thank you so much, Tracy, for your amazing question. Christina, you're next for Q&A. How can we help you? Thank you so much for having me.

I appreciate everything that you guys, all the insight that we are gave. from this. And I appreciate you taking my question. I am a people skills trainer for dental professionals helping them to learn really the foundational skills that are needed to build trust in the relationships that they have with their team and their patients. And a lot of the things that you have said here have resonated very much with me. And I'd love to throw this out to you all as the experts as authoritative figures, dental professionals, dentists specifically, not only are seen as authoritative just naturally by their job titles, but also by what they wear, as the studies have shown, but you also have, obviously, the white coat syndrome that happens as well.

How do we maintain that authoritative approach, authoritative figure, but come off as less threatening. What hip could you, little gems, could you shed some light on in that regard? Thank you for taking my question. So I'll hop in here. First of all, talk about the patient versus

the team, see if that is helpful. So when we work with doctors and people of authority, when they're in the business, right, they're in the doctor authorative role is where you see the lab coat and the coat of authority. However, when they're building their team

or outside of servicing clients, we ask them to remove the coat to be more human in their reaction with the team and those people who are supporting the back-end growth of their business. So that would be my first tip. And the second thing is to create a signature between you and your client,

whether that is a cute little fuzzy, smiley face that you put for them to look at while you're diving down into their mouth, something that communicates your personality with the patient. I mean, you guys do it with stickers with kids and kids love because they want the stickers. Do the same thing with the adults. What is it that they would love to expect and anticipate, which allows me to plug in with your personality, make you memorable, and I remember yourself and your brand.

And I think that's where the humanity part comes in. Awesome. Christina, did we help you? Did we answer your question? Thank you so much. That was so helpful. And what a great perspective. to take on it. Thank you. Awesome. Thank you so much. Heather, you're up next. What's your question for the panel?

Hi, this has been very interesting. I'm new to Clubhouse and just popped in here and love the conversation. I just have a question about something that Amelia had spoken about a few minutes ago. I wanted to know if she could expand on that when she was talking about the props in the middle of the table during a negotiation. Can you kind of expand on that and give me maybe one or two examples of a specific prop and how that specifically helped you take advantage of the situation or have the upper hand or give you a good read into how that person might respond. Hey, it's great to see you. Yeah, I'd love to. So when you put props on the table, right, so just figure one prop is more obvious, right, which is a paperclip, which has a defined use. Another piece of material, so maybe is more like clay or those little

bouncy, squishy things, right? which is a different type of interface, softer and pushier, but you can also pull it apart and create something if you wanted to. Doodling is another aspect of the behavior. So first of all, how quick somebody is to pick up a tool tells you the level of anxiety or confidence that they have, let's just pretend that it's a negotiation, right? So quick to pick up a tool tells you that you have leverage already

because they are trying to get out some of that nervous energy. then the medium that they pick up on also tells you about their subconscious belief. So if I'm going to take a paperclip and I'm going to change its shape and change its use, it will show you that even though front facing, I may have some doubt, I'm going to give you a run for your money because I psychologically believe I can manipulate the paperclip use. versus if I took the Play-Doh thing, which is meant or intended to create, to see what they do with it. So there's all kinds of ways to help understand the other person

based on how fast they choose, what they choose, and what they do with device. And so I always encourage in any type of community environment to always have tools and access so that people can tell you a little bit about they are. That also works in the same arena with food, right? If somebody chooses the fruit and the nuts over the cinnamon roll and the bagel versus something that is maybe all more paleo, right? It helps them communicate to you their belief system, their value system and what has meaning to them. And then you can relate that back to whatever it is that conference of the gathering was about. Thank you very much for that explanation.

That's pretty great. Thank you so much. Awesome. Thank you, Heather. And Charlie, you are the last question of the night. How can we help you? Hi, thank you so much for having me. I am a principal teacher who's gotten into mental health and learned quite a bit about that. My question is about teen behaviors and what teachers should be aware of to be best in tune with their teens during this time and their students. That's really been a tough time. I have a podcast as well, so I think it's Hala. I hope I pronounce that right. I would love to collaborate with you. It's called Advancing Humanity, so we could do a lot of the same things because I see you're in education too.

And Blanca, I would love to have you for a summit where we're doing, I need a guest speaker to talk about teen behaviors and engagement, but about how their behavior, their body language shows up because we teachers can learn from them. So, and certainly, Amelia, you've got some great stuff to give us as well. And what I'm looking for is how teachers

should look to their students, to better engage them? Like, what behaviors shall we latch on to to help them? And what should we be doing to show up better? So, first of all, I have a huge respect to the education space. And we've made a huge commitment to empower more tools into it because I think our education is desperately lacking. So the first thing at the gate is understanding how the mind imprint, especially at the young age, right, the visual, auditory or kinesthetic primary learning, right, what a child learns first, usually carries with them for forever in life.

We learn all three. We have to learn all three just to kind of survive. But when we're stressed, when we're in conflict, when we're learning something, we default to that imprinting style. And so in education, a child is learning and is comfortable with one of those mediums. I mean, Montessori was just an example, right? Monastery was created to have a tactical hands-on kinesis. approach so that kids can learn through their hands. And a lot of kids, that is their primary way

of learning. Other people do visual and visual memorization. And that's how they represent versus an auditory where they're making lifts and shortcuts. And so to really understand how the child defaults to and what has meaning so that the material that you're giving to them is in their natural style. We do that for our healing sessions with children to go. And we go, back and to plant the seed in their original form so that they can heal and understand that the gap that they're feeling between how they understand material and how they had to morph themselves into their parents and or teacher or whatever the education system that the gap, A, is real and B, the gap does feel like pain and that there's lots of tools that they can do

to heal from that from just the awareness and the understanding. That's awesome. Thank you. Yeah. Blakit, did you have anything to add or comment? Did I get that name right? I'm so sorry. Yes, my name is Paula. Thank you so much. Charlie Blanca, anything to add? I love what Amelia said. I think he is right on the money there. And then, yes, you can just direct message me on Instagram, and we can talk more about this offline about the summit.

When it goes to teenagers, just establishing that rapport and that trust is really important. And a lot of times, teenagers feel like they know so much more than adults do. And then sometimes some teenagers, when they start to bond, with a teacher, then they kind of blur that boundary a little bit. And what I'm saying is, and you can really tell because it comes from Mr. or Mrs. by its title and it can get to the first name or acute nickname, a respectable nickname. And that is a good sign, but then some teachers want to keep the more professional title. But really, you can use body language and how you present yourself to help build or bridge that

gap and that connection because you want a connection. when teenagers trust you and they feel like you're non-judgmental of them. So whether how they perform or what they tell you or who they are or how they dress or what they believe, they're more likely to turn to you as a trusted adult. And many times they don't have that at home for whatever reason, but they have somebody at school. And that is what you want to capitalize on because kids need trusted adults outside of home, in addition to home, I should say,

but somebody outside of the home that they can continue to bond and respond. and it comes to have some discussions. And so having open, friendly body language is one good way of drawing them in. And so many times teachers are very busy because they have so much going on. They have classrooms of students and lesson plans and they're thinking of the next period

or the next subject or whatever's coming next. That just really taking a few minutes of unobstructed time and giving your full attention, just even for a few minutes, a few seconds, makes a very big difference to that teenager in terms of their perception of how you see them. And that really can go a long way. Charlie, do you have any follow-up questions or did we help you today? You really help.

Thank you for very much. That's awesome. And I will definitely contact you both. Awesome. Thank you so much for your question. Thank you so much, guys. This concludes this episode of Young and Profiting Podcast. My name is Halitaha.

Just to tell you a bit about my podcast, it's a time. top self-improvement podcast. I've interviewed people like Matthew McConaughey, Robert Green, Seth Godin, Mark Manson. If you enjoyed today's conversation, we always unpack actionable advice from the brightest minds in the world. Thank you so much Blanca and Amelia for joining us today. Can you guys just let everybody know where they can go to learn more about you and what you do, Blanca, if you want to go first and then Amelia, and then we can say our closing thoughts. Sure. You can find me pretty much, anywhere on social media at Blanca Cobb, whether it's Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, which is my favorite, or my website, BlancaCob.com. You can send me an email, Blanca at BlancaCob.com.

My knowledge is your knowledge. So please feel free to reach out to me and ask me any questions, whether it has to do with your professional life, your personal life, how to get along with other people, or trying to read body language, or you're figuring out, trying to figure out of someone's being deceptive. Reach out, and I'll be happy to do help. And I'm Amelia, and if you can sell my first name, you can find me pretty much anywhere. You can get me at amelia.com. You can get me across all the social channels at Amelia. Also, you can also, if you just want to go to geniuskey.com, you can do that as well, geniuskey.

com. And DM me, I would love to serve any way I can. And Blanca, it's been an absolute pleasure being on the stage with you. I just, I love your work. And I had to learn from somebody like you to stop frowning when I speak, even though I think I'm thinking, they put some of a signal that I'm being unfriendly, but I get too intense. I understand, and it has been an honor to be on the platform with both of you, so much. And I look forward to connecting with you offline.

Awesome, guys. Well, again, if you guys missed the first half of this session, we also had Chase Hughes here. We had Mark Bowden, huge experts in this field. If you guys want to catch the replay, DM me the words Young and Profiting, and I'll send you that link directly. For now, we're going to sign off here. So thank you guys so much for tuning in. A lot of you guys I saw were here for the full two hours. So that's awesome.

Again, if you guys want to continue on with these valuable sessions, make sure you follow all the mods here. Tap the bell for always. Follow us on Clubhouse and on Instagram. And also be sure to follow ClubPod. So we're just going to mute for a few seconds. Let the room clear out. You guys can definitely follow us. And then we're going to close out the room.

Thank you so much for tuning in to this live Young and Profiting episode. This is Hala signing off.