Young and Profiting with Hala Taha - YAPSnacks: Persuasion and How to Influence Others with Hala and Jordan

Episode Date: December 12, 2019

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Source. Taxes and other fees still apply. Hey everyone, you're listening to YAP Snacks, a new short series of bite-sized, digestible, and actionable content hosted by the YAP team. Today, I'm joined with fellow-podcaster Jordan Parris, who has come on board as a YAP Snacks co-host. This week on YAP Snacks, we're talking all things influence, negotiation, and persuasion. I've had a lot of episodes on this topic like number 23, negotiate like a boss with Chris

Voss, who is a former FBI hostage negotiator, and he also wrote a book called Never Sput the Difference is a very popular book. I've also interviewed Scott Adams, who is a cartoonist and persuasion expert. The episode is number 38, the persuasion playbook, and number eight hacking human behavior with Chase Hughes, who is a police trainer and a behavioral profile expert. That was a mouthful. There it was. Yes. But hey, I'm eager to get to this today because human behavior is definitely one of my favorite things to talk about. Obviously, I would follow all of this under human behavior. I think I even mentioned that when I was talking about Robert Green and the first app snacks that I just love. Learning about all this stuff, talking about all this stuff,

and Chase Hughes, who I'm going learning about all this stuff, talking about all this stuff, and Chase Hughes, who I'm gonna be speaking about today, one of my favorite books, the one that he wrote, I've interviewed him as well, and I just enjoy all things, Chase Hughes, and human behavior, so let's get to it. Totally, and my audience loves the topic of Influence and Persuasion,

all of our episodes on this topic get really high downloads, so I think everybody tuning in should enjoy these actionable tips that we're going to be talking about. So let me start first with Scott Adams. Like I mentioned, he is the Dilbert creator and he's also a hypnotist. He studied persuasion his whole life and he wrote a book called Win Big Lee and it's all about how Trump won the 2016 election through his negotiation and persuasion skills. So I'm going to go through some of his top tips

that we talked about in the episode. The first one that really resonated with me is the fact that Scott says that you should be descriptive and illustrate a visual to influence others, and this can help persuade people more than just a concept can. So, for example, make America great again that red hat, right? A lot of controversy around it, but at the end of the day, this memory of a red hat and people in the crowd all wearing red hats, that really stuck with you and became something powerful for Trump to leverage. Same thing with Hillary and people wearing pink and for her campaign, it also helped support

her and kind of made things more memorable and influenced people. Using a visual, I'll give another example. He went on SNL, Trump went on SNL, and he had a skit where he pretended to be president, right? And that helped stick it in people's minds like, oh, he could be president because I literally saw him in the Oval Office pretending to be president. So that's another way he used visual. Super interesting, right? Yeah, I didn't even know that SNL existed. I'll have to check that out. I wonder was that during the campaign or years prior? I think that was during the campaign. And the funny enough, Hillary went on SNL too.

And her skit was being drunken a bar. So who was thinking more critically in terms of how they want to appear in the public? Also speaking simple and straightforward to ensure your most important points are remembered. So again, with Trump, everything he says, this is great. You know, we're the best. Everything is super simple and people might think he just might not have a great vocabulary.

But in fact, he's on purpose being simple and straightforward. So that's a tip that we can take when we're trying to persuade others. Be very simple, be very repetitive. Use very simple words. Yeah repetitive, use very simple words. Yeah, keep the simple things simple. Totally. Another one is using hyperbole, because in today's world, facts don't matter.

And I know that sounds harsh, and I was even talking to Jordan before this, like, should I say that? But it's true. In today's world, emotion is really what drives people. People aren't really fact-checking all the time. So I'm not saying to totally lie, but you can exaggerate a little bit. That's what hyperbole is. It's exaggerated statements not meant to be taking literally. So again, if we stick

to the example of Trump, he says things like, the economy is the greatest. The military is the most powerful it's ever been. America is winning like never before. These are all like these general statements, but it really gets emotions riled up. And lastly, Scott in the episode talks about something called a linguistic kill shot. So for example, Trump called Jeb who was his opponent low energy Jeb. I love that. It was so funny. And then after that, everybody just couldn't look at him the same. And he was just like, oh gosh, compared to Trump, he really is low energy Jeb. For Hillary, it was crooked Hillary. And then she was painted

as a criminal the whole time she was running. So very effective to brand your competitors. And that's called a linguistic kill shot. Ah, I think I just thought that whole, the Trump's linguistic kill shots, so to say, were hilarious. I still think that he's a funny guy. He's a funny guy for sure. He is.

Yeah, I like him on Twitter. I mean, other people get outraged by it, but I just kind of, I like observing on Twitter. I mean other people get outraged by it, but I just I just kind of I like observing I really enjoy it Young and profitors do you have a brilliant business idea, but you don't know how to move forward with it? Going into debt for a four-year degree isn't the only path to success instead learn everything you need to know about running a business For free by listening to the Millionaire University podcast. The Millionaire University podcast is a show

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He's a good friend of mine. I've interviewed him, Hollis interviewed Chase in episode eight of Young and Profiting. And in his book, The Ellipsis Manual, analysis and engineering of human behavior. It's a mammoth in his book, The Ellipsis Manual, Analysis and Engineering of Human Behavior, it's a mammoth of a book, almost 400 pages. I read it covered a cover. In the book, he talks a lot about body language.

And accompanying the book comes a behavioral table of elements. Instead of the periodic table of elements, the behavioral table of elements. And I have it, I'm touching it right now, I have it laminated, the two pieces laminated, and it's every single body language gesture and vocal tonality from head to toe, like literally everything, and levels of deception, and all sorts of other information and statistics attached to these

body language gestures and vocal tonalities. And what I wanted to discuss today, I wanted to zoom in on just about one page of Chase's book here, where he talks about this, but throughout the book, he talks about vocal tonalities throughout the book, but I really want to talk today, zoom in on, increasing your vocal speed. I'm actually, I'm working with a speaking coach right now and he told me the other day that speaking too quickly is associated with, you know, your audience could think

that you are untrustworthy and low status. And the opposite is true when you're speaking calmly, clearly, slowly. People associate you, they view you with high authority and high status, right? And trustworthy. So Chase in his book talks about the increase in vocal speed and what it means. Of course you have to establish the baseline of people's vocal speeds first because it's all relative between different people, the vocal speeds. But in an attempt to quote unquote get it over with, subjects frequently speed up the rate of speech to lessen the amount of psychological stress experienced and exude

nonverbal signs of deception during the deceptive statement. So people are going to speed up when they're talking about something uncomfortable or maybe something they're lying about, right? So as to not exude these bad body language gestures that could indicate that they're lying, and so as to just get rid of the psychological stress that it will entail, right? And another thing with vocal tonalities that Chase Hughes talks about in his book, and it's also a mixture of a lesson

that I learned from Vanessa Van Edwards and other social superhero of mine, is that the rising vocal pitch within your sentences here. And so let's think about it in a sales situation, Hala. Okay, so I'm talking with Hala right now and I'm trying to close her on a deal. We've been talking about this deal in a meeting and I say, I'm like, all right, Hala, the price will be $5,000.

I don't think so. It sounds like a question. You are just begging. I am just begging Hala to negotiate with me. Me saying it like that says that I'm unsure of that price and you should be too Hala. So let's think about it. Authority is conveyed with a downward inflection, a downward tone at the end of a sentence.

So I would just say be very confident. The price is $5,000. That's what it is. And I don't, I just say the price is $5,000. And I don't start talking and running myself in circles after that. I say it and I'm good, you know. I'm confident that that is my value. And in that way, I'm not begging halit to negotiate with me. Totally.

I have a couple of things to add there. So first off, in terms of the speed of how you talk, it reminded me of something else Chase Hughes talks about, which is Blink rate. And similarly to speaking too fast, if your audience is blinking too fast, that means that they're not paying attention, they're not interested, what you're saying is not resonating. So you want to pay attention to the rate in which people blink. So that's just an easy way to remember it. Speaking fast is bad, seeing other people blink fast is bad. So I guess slow in general just means like connectivity,

trustworthiness, engagement, like I think that's the red, the red throughout those concepts. Also in terms of voices, Chris Voss, who wrote, never split the difference, he also talked about voice tones that you can use in negotiations. So he talks about something called the late night FM DJ voice, and you use this voice selectively to make a point. And like you were just saying, Jordan, you inflect your voice downward, you keep it calm and slow, and it really creates an aura of authority and trustworthiness without triggering any defensiveness. There's another voice you can use which I think I pretty much use all the time, which is a positive and playful voice. And it should be your default voice. It's easy going, good natured, it's light, encouraging, and a tip is to smile while you're talking.

It helps you have that positive playful voice. And then lastly, you can have the direct or assertive voice. And honestly, this should be used very sparingly because it creates problems and push back. So you want to either use the late night FM DJ voice when you're talking about something like price, like Jordan gave that example. And then also that positive playful voice in general

is what you want to exude. Yeah, might I add too, that smiling while you're talking is such an important piece here that you're talking about, because, and I don't have the study offhand, but I just mentioned Vanessa Van Edwards. I, you know, this is something that she talks about. It's that people who smile the last 30 seconds on the phone, they're actually, when they ask the person on the other line, they raided the person who was smiling the last 30 seconds as far more likable than people that don't smile the last 30 seconds on

the phone. So you can actually detect that. It actually does change your vocal tonality, smiling. And you can detect that without even seeing the other person. Yeah, so that's a trick I use on air. If I feel like I need more energy, I start smiling when I'm talking. And it automatically helps me sound more energetic. And I've heard this from multiple people.

I interviewed Jack Schaefer, who's also an FBI negotiator. It was on my first episode on How to Be More Likeable. And he also said that over the phone, it's scientifically proven that when you're smiling, you come across as more likeable. So it doesn't even have to be in person, which is amazing. Such a music trip. I remember that episode. That was the one time I got. I mean, I listened to it

probably like, I don't know, five months ago, is a really good one though. Still one of my favorites. I highly recommend putting the plug in there to listen to episode one of young and profiting. Thank you. And then another thing that you said, and we'll call it a wrap after this because this is a YAP snacks episode. You mentioned saying $5,000 and staying on the theme of never split the difference. Chris Voss says that if you name your price, you should never, ever change it. So he does not believe in compromise whatsoever. He does not believe in win-win whatsoever. He thinks, you say your price, if they don't want your price, you don't get the deal.

Well, if you can knock a thousand dollars off the price, if I could actually do it for four thousand dollars with you, then what's that say about me? It says that I was trying to knock your head off with that price that I wasn wasn't being completely honest. Totally. All right, well, this is the conclusion of our second YAPSNACs episode. If you enjoyed these topics, go check out number 23, number 38, and number 8. You'll get a lot more information on Influence, Negotiation, and Persuasion.

This is Hala and Jordan signing off. Are you looking for ways to be happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative? I'm Gretchen Ruben, the number one best-selling author of the Happiness Project. And every week, we share ideas and practical solutions on the Happier with Gretchen Ruben podcast. My co-host and Happiness Guinea Pig is my sister Elizabeth Kraft.

That's me, Elizabeth Kraft, a TV writer and producer in Hollywood. Join us as we explore fresh insights from cutting-edge science, ancient wisdom, pop culture, and our own experiences about cultivating happiness and good habits. Every week we offer a try this at home tip you can use to boost your happiness without spending a lot of time energy or money. Suggestions such as follow the one minute rule. Choose a one word theme for the year or design your summer. We also feature segments like know yourself better

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