Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Can’t Put Sarah On The Bench No More

Episode Date: November 17, 2021

Our dearest Brand-eye has lost her voice, so we’re calling in our A-lister from the B-squad, miss Sarah Hyland. Wells is living his busiest life these days and didn’t have time to catch up on The Bachelorette. However, his gal Sarah took extensive, detailed, hilarious notes that provide the base for a serious Bachelorette deep dive. Speaking of love, the two talk about Ben Higgins’ wedding, where Wells was an usher, not a groomsman. You got it wrong, People Magazine! The two lovebirds also discuss the ups and downs of mushroom science, ancient ruins, Taylor Swift’s scarf, Britney’s freedom, and much, much more that you don’t want to miss!  Don’t forget to rate, review, and follow Your Favorite Podcast! Plus, keep up with us between episodes on our Instagram page, @yftpodcast.   Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers:  Liquid Death — Go to www.liquiddeath.com/yourfavoritething and join Liquid Death's Country Club. Also available at Whole Foods and 7/11  Betterhelp — Go to betterhelp.com/favoritething for 10% off your first month   Prose — Go to prose.com/yft for your free in-depth hair consultation and 15% off your first order  Canva — Go to canva.me/yftpodcast to get your free 45-day extended trial  Theragun — Go to therabody.com/yft to try Theragun for 30 days starting at only $199  Hello Tushy — Go to HelloTushy.com/yft for 10% off plus free shipping  

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Okay. Should I open with it? Mm-hmm. I should? Mm-hmm. All right. thing do it okay should i open with it i should all right hi why tears it's brandy i have somehow lost my voice i have no idea how but i lost it on friday and then i went to ben hagen's wedding on saturday where i got to Wells. And I attempted to talk to people all night long because there were so many friends I hadn't seen in forever. And that was bad because my voice is even worse than it was before now. And because of that, I'm not going to be able to record this week. So I'm sorry I miss you guys so much. But I think that Sarah is going to step in and co-host for me again.

So you guys are in for a double whammy treat with Sarah co-hosting two weeks in a row. And I miss y'all, and I promise I will be back next week. Love you guys. Jesus. Oh, hello. Hi, YFTR. So, yeah. Brandy's out again.

Poor Brands. So, Sarah, coming up from the minor leagues, the B squad is now starting the game. Can't put me on a bench no more. You said that like that was a saying, you know? Nobody puts baby in the corner. You said it like that. You said it with the confidence and conviction of like that's a thing people totally say. What are you talking about?

Can't put me on the bench no more. As the old Wilt Chamberlain. Make drop. Walk out of the room. As the old Wilt Chamberlain quote goes, can't put me on the bench no more. We're here to win championships. We're here to win championships.

And if I had the confidence to say things that have no precedent whatsoever like that, God, that would be great. You can take over the world. Can't put me on a bench no more. Can't do it, guys. So, yeah, welcome to YFT. Sarah Hyland filling in for Brandy once again. Because the week before, Brandy was out of town.

Yes. Which I think that we're going to get a good story about why she was out of town. But I don't want to... That's Brandy's story. Yeah, I don't want to insinuate. I want to imply if she feels comfortable telling that story, we'll go down that road. If not, no worries. You know?

Can't put her on the bench no more. So Sarah's not taking over for Brandy officially, even though it seems like that. It's just two weeks. Just two weeks. Consecutively. I do love the fact that like drop of a hat if i need a guest i got you i got you babe i got you babe should we play that song no here every time i come on the show i will end up costing you money and like playing songs because i always make everything into a song i

can always pull it back yeah i got you babe who sings that song uh share and funny oh yeah sunny share yeah yeah sunny and share i don't know why i said sharing a lot of conviction guys i'm apparently very confident tonight well let's be. It should have always been Cher and Sonny. The fact that Sonny thought that he was going to be top billing in that fucking duo is ridiculous. I mean, it's Cher always. Cher. Cher, Cher, Cher. Yeah.

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. I mean, hey, listen. You know what Cher said one time? What? Famously. Famously. She said, hey, Sonny, you ain't going to leave me on the bench no more. Dang.

That's how it happened. Yeah, that's exactly who I was quoting. And that's the behind the music. So, yeah, like Brandy obviously mentioned it. We were at Ben Higgins' wedding, of which we, Carl slowly leaving the room. Yeah. Jesus. Back and away as if like, did you fart, bro?

And he's trying to like. I wish people would have seen that. It was like slowly like, oh. It's like the gif, the gif of Homer Simpson like walking back into the bushes. Yeah. The bushes. The bushes. The bushes.

I like that you confused gif with jif there. I don't know which one is which. It's gif. Oh, it is gif. Yeah, we're there. Jif is peanut butter. Yeah, jif is great. Yeah.

I've just heard people say jif, and I still don't know. I think they're just trying to be funny. Oh, I see. I don't really know. Anyways, so yeah, we were at Ben Hing's wedding. Fun. Fun wedding. Saw Brandy.

Did you see it? What? She looked amazing. She looked good. Brandy. Didn't see it. What? She looked amazing. She looked good. Brandy, you looked banging. Yeah. So I guess we can talk about that. Because we don't have a whole lot of recommendations.

I don't know. I got things. You got things? I got things. All right. I got things. Should we start? Yeah, let's start.

All right. You can start this time. See if you can do it. Huh. I listen to every single episode. And right now. Come on, you can do it. Hello, guys.

No, it's not. It's not. Boys and girls. Nope. Bros and hoes. You're listening to your favorite thing podcast with. Sarah and Will. Oh, that's so cute.

Well, if we're fair... You did Cher and Sonny. I'm Sonny in this relationship. You're so... No, you're not. Well, I mean, I kind of am. It's okay. I'm...

You're damn right, I'm Cher. Yeah, you're Cher. Like, you're never gonna die. You're like, just gonna be around forever. I'm my own rich husband. What did she say? Her mother. Cher has a famous interview that she did where her mother is like, you need to go and find a rich husband.

And she said, I'm going to be my own rich husband. Something along the lines of that. I love that. Cher is such an icon. She's everything. Esquire magazine will feature her in its annual Women We Love issue. And the feeling's mutual. You said a man is not a necessity, a man is a luxury.

Like dessert. Yeah. Men is absolutely not necessity. Did you mean that to sound mean and bitter? Oh, not at all. I adore dessert. I love men. I think men are the coolest, but you don't really need them to live.

My mom said to me, you know, sweetheart, one day you should settle down and marry a rich man. And I said, Mom, I am a rich man. You know, my experience with men is great because I pick them because I like them. I don't need them. Okay, Cher's a baller. Cher is an icon. Yeah. Work, work, Cher. Cher, better baller. Cher is an icon. Yeah. Work, work, Cher.

Cher, better, work. I love her so much. I kind of, I mean, I don't kind of agree. I totally agree with that, by the way. Yeah. You know? You should be with a person because it is a luxury to be with that person. It's an extra bonus to your life.

Oh, I was just going to say, I just consider... Me a dessert? I just consider you a dessert. Oh, baby, I'm a full-on snack. You are a snack. Okay, so what do you want to do? Do you want to... Because I made you watch...

I didn't make you, but I sent you the episode of The Bachelorette. Yeah, I actually requested it so we could have something to talk about. Smart. I took notes on my phone to so that I would remember since it wasn't I couldn't fact check with you because I didn't watch it. You didn't have time to. So should I do like a sum up and like thoughts or should I just read my notes as I wrote them down in real time really fast um it's pretty interesting yeah just read them out and by the way I'm not

like not watching the show because like I don't care or whatever I'm not watching because I'm working and I'm working all day and it's a new project I think we're gonna be excited about but I can't tell you what it is but just know that the reason why I haven't been like up to date on this stuff is just because I'm doing like 12, 13 hour days and I just don't have time for it. Your boy don't got time. Daddy got no time. You know, because you know why? Why?

I'm trying to be my own rich husband over here. All right. It's going to be tough. Be your own rich man, baby. Trying to. Just two rich men in a room with mics. Okay. What happened?

These are my notes on batch. Give it to me. She's making herself laugh by just reading her own notes. Oh, gosh. I might get in trouble. Joe opened up about injuries. Super quiet and boring still. Everyone's kissing her ass, literally, since they weren't paying attention on the last date.

Chris dressed as horse. Shit battle cry. Won't eat food. Like Fessy. Stop. You're going too fast. Oh, it's a lot of notes. That's why I'm going fast.

I know, but you're ripping through it, man. You're fucking micromachining it. Okay, cool. Sorry, I was Amy Sherman Palladino. It's all good. Gilmore Girls, Ms. Maisel, everything. We got an hour to burn, baby. Okay, man. You're fucking micromachining it. Okay, cool. Sorry, I was Amy Sherman Palladino. It's all good. Gilmore Girls, Ms. Maisel, everything. We got an hour to burn, baby. Okay, cool.

Joe opened up about injuries. Super quiet and boring still. What injuries does he have? This is the basketball player. Basketball was life. Yeah. Life is basketball. Yeah.

And he- Football is life. Football is life. Football is death. Tell that song. Football is death. Football is death.'s not funny i mean what's funny because it's not real anyways continue on also him not being able to wear shoes that are not soccer cleats also funny but continue on football cleats like stuff like happened like with his knee he had to get like a screw put in and then the doctor put in too big of a screw so it like shattered something else in there it was like this whole

thing that happened to me he put in too big a screw yeah it was too long and they had to take it out because my tendon would rub up against it it's suck it's hurt so bad so hurt so bad but this like actually because it was too big it ended up shattering it or something like like caused him even more stuff you know he was playing basketball going to pt and all this stuff and it was just a lot and he wasn't like really living life and he ended up having to give up basketball and stuff which was his life football his life and so um it turned out that basketball was death for him and he was crying and you know like what we've seen thus far of joe is just like kind of like smiling at her like yeah it goes did you please don't hate me yeah and i don't want to say anything problematic and

stuff but you know he opened up so all men are thinking right now by the way oh yeah for sure just don't want to say anything problematic just trying to get through the day and not not all the guys there's just get in late oh you mean all men in general right now in america right now are just like just terrified growing and learning yes so on their like dinner portion later later yeah he opened up about that and like said that he doesn't really show his feelings. He's like super closed off because of his father. He's like maybe seen his father cry once if ever. And she was like, oh my gosh, you're crying just for me. This is amazing.

Which I feel like a lot of women can relate to. Like if a man cries in front of you, I don't know why, but we're like, oh, he likes me. Yeah, it's just a weird thing. It's very true. it's so weird but you could like not be super into a dude and and and be like i don't know maybe and then they like share something like super personal i like tear up and you're like oh my god you're so hot right now yeah what's that about i don't know wait because I cry a lot in movies and TV shows. Do you feel like that way? Or are you like, what a bitch? No. Okay. I think it's cute. All right. All right. Quick PSA

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And these are my notes on the group date. Everyone's kissing her ass, literally, since they weren't paying attention the last date. Chris dressed as horse, shit battle cry, won't eat food like Fessy. We're bringing in the challenge, all right, love it. So he was dressed up like a horse? When did this show become fear factor

clayton ultimate viking looks like one brandon is super cute and sweet dax shepherd guy is like the dad of the house chris never talks to her he's an ass wants her to thank him and check in on him. Expects her to come to him. Clayton gets Rose. Okay. Those are my group date notes. Got it. So what had happened was they went to the Viking Stadium

and she was like, guys, ready to meet the Vikings? Oh yeah, they go to Minnesota. Got it. I should have wrote that down in the notes. So they go to Minnesota,

her hometown. I was thinking it was like some sort of weird medieval times dinner. Oh, medieval times. That would be a really fun thing to just take someone's notes and create this entire space without even knowing. So they're in

Minnesota and they go to the Vikings stadium and she's like, you ready to meet the Vikings? And they're all like, oh my god, yes! And Clayton's there. You know, Clayton football. Oh yeah, the guy who's going to be the bachelor. Yeah, he's like, you ready to meet the Vikings? And I'm like, oh my God, yes. Yeah. And Clayton's there, you know, Clayton football. God, oh yeah. The guy who's going to be the bachelor. Yeah, he's like freaking out.

And then there are these three like massive men dressed as actual Vikings. Oh yeah, they're like super fans. They're like very well known if you watch Viking football games. Oh, those are those? Oh, okay. I bet you it is. I haven't seen the episode, but I bet you that's what's going on here. Okay, so they do like a Viking man challenge stuff.

And one of the challenges is to eat like pickled herring and like all of this really, really gross food. And I was like, when did The Bachelorette become Fear Factor? Like this is insane. They keep doing this stuff. They had Marissa and Riley eat all that gross food and they seemed completely fine with it. That really freaked me out. She sucked on his toe. So apparently fear is not a factor for Marissa. Good one.

Got it. Thank you. So yeah, so they have to do the thing. They have to do like show their battle cries and stuff and Chris is being a little bitch. Yeah. Chris is like the little white dude. Okay. Yeah, yeah. He kind of looks like Jeff with one F. Jeff Holm is like the little white dude. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. He kind of looks like Jeff with one F. Jeff Holm to me. Oh, yeah. I can see that, I think. Yeah. Yeah. And so he's been a little bitch because Nate,

the guy that he called out last week for having too much confidence and stuff to Michelle, Nate got a one-on-one. So he's upset because he's like, what the fuck, Michelle? Yeah. Like, I stood up for you.

I spoke for you. Yeah. I spoke for you. That's what women love too. We love it when men speak for us. Oh, thank God you're speaking. I'm so exhausted. Yeah.

Please speak for me more. Tell me to smile, please. And so he's like, why? You like that? Yeah. And he's like, I don't understand what needs there. He's like being a little bitch, but he's like, okay, fine. Like, I'm going to be the ultimate Viking.

He does this battle cry. Everyone's like, Clayton's like Andre the Giant. He's massive. Chris is like, ah! And then the three Vikings are like, you call that a battle cry? He has to tail between his legs, go back into the line. He won't eat the food. He's standing there being like, I don't want to eat this.

I don't want to eat this. This is gross. I don't want to eat this. And so that's why I wrote like Fessy. Yeah. But hold on. If you were on that show, would you eat the food? Hell to the nah.

Okay. So you can't give them crap for not doing it. Yeah. But like you can't talk all this smack talk and then like not back it up. Yeah. I'd eat the food. Yeah, you would. But that's something that you would do.

Yeah, totally. That's not something that you would do. It's not something I would do. You'd be like, I'm gonna have diarrhea for the rest of the week. I don't need to do this. Or I would just throw up immediately. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no. So obviously Clayton becomes the ultimate Viking and they're all in their outfits.

Oh, yeah. They all dress up as Vikings and they make Chris this inflatable horse thing. Okay. They give him a little bitch viking outfit because he's being like a little bitch hold on real quick asmr okay continue on i feel like that would just have to make me pee if i listen to that and then they go to the latter portion of the date. They climbed ladders? Yeah, obviously. Yeah. That's what Vikings do.

Bad joke. Eh. Brandon is super cute and sweet. Speaks for itself. Dax Shepard guy. Dax Shepard guy is the guy that looks like a mix between Dax Shepard and Zach Levi. Yeah. Like him.

I don't think he looks like Zach or Levi. I think he looks like Dax Shepard. Yeah, but his head shape. Oh, yeah. Reminds me a lot of Zach's. Yeah. So he's like the dad of that house like Chris is like I want to say something to her you know like this is not okay like

she should come to me and talk like I have I have I have words to have with Michelle yeah and Dax Shepard guy is like well hold on hold on like You don't want to upset her tonight. It's okay. Calm down, buddy. He's being a dad. And then Chris never ends up talking to her. Oh, no. Never talks to her on the group date. And she notices and she's like, oh, that's really, really weird. And then on a, what is it?

Not a TMI. TMI? ITM. ITM. In the moment. In the moment on an ITM, he gives TMI? ITM. ITM. In the moment. In the moment on an ITM, he gives TMI. Nice. Thank you.

By saying that she should have sought him out. Wow. He was like, I'm so hurt. Like, she should have sought me out. I can't believe she ignored me like that and everything. I was like, bruh, you're on The Bachelorette. Bro, I got to episode like eight. Never once was I sought out

by anybody. Okay? I don't know who you think you are, but get in line, buddy. Get in line. So yeah, and then Clayton ends up getting the rose

for the group date. Chris is pissed. Nate goes on his one-on-one and this is what I wrote for nate's okay nate group date with best friends if i was a friend i would be so cruel stay in her power and trust her gut that's those are my notes so those are her friends or his friends so nate goes on a boat with michelle yeah on one of the lakes yeah and they're there and she's like actually this is a group date and he's like wait what. And then her two best friends show up.

That sucks. And they talk to him. Get to know him and everything like with Michelle. It's really, really sweet. And I was watching these girls and I'm like, they're being so nice to him. I have a thing that I say to all guys that start dating my best friends. And it is not nice. I'm not going to say it on this because

it's it's pretty graphic you've you've heard what i've said and i've said it to each and every guy that has dated one of my best friends so maybe they couldn't say something about chopping his dick off yes yeah okay yeah i can that one then at the end of it they ended up really liking nate then at the end of it they ended up really liking nate literally her friends i wrote this quote down her friend said she just needs to stay in her power and trust her gut and i'm like i love that stay in her power i really like that so then it cuts back to chris little bitch man and he's talking to the blonde guy with the beard and i thought hey that blonde guy with beard is always friends with the villains all caps red flags oh nice eye red flags blonde guy with beard chris is so delusional his blonde guy with beard the guy that's like dyed blonde hair yes the dyed blonde

hair with like the he's got like lines cut out of the side of his head. In his head. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Blonde guy with beard. Sometimes he wears glasses. Yeah. Red flag. You're friends with Jamie and Chris now.

You're always off to the side talking to them. Yeah, birds of a feather, man. They flock together. They flock, baby. Yeah. So Nate's on his night dinner date with Michelle. They're having a great time. Michelle says she's falling for Nate.

Wow. Really? To Nate. Guess who comes and interrupts their one-on-one dinner date? Blonde guy. Blonde guy. Blonde guy. Well, kind of blonde guy.

Chris, white blonde guy. Little horse man. Oh. Jeff with one F. Chris, white, blonde guy. Little horse man. Oh, Jeff with one F look like. Jeff with one F, yeah. Jeff with one F comes, interrupts their date, and he like sits her down like he's going to like give him peace of his mind, expecting her to like immediately apologize.

And she's like, okay. Yeah. Like what? You spoke for me. He spoke for her. And then she starts to teach him and put him in his place being like uh no you can't do that this is i don't know it's just she turned like teacher mode on and i very very much i love michelle when she's in teacher mode. But that is like, I wrote down, such white male privilege. Reminds me of a rich trust fund baby

like in Succession. Yeah. That's what he gives. Those are the vibes that he gives me. And I started feeling really weird, obviously really weird about him last week because he interrupted Michelle, spoke for her and over her.

I did not like that. But when he threw Nate's name under the bus, and I'm not like massive Nate fan, you know. I just thought that this was messed up. You know, Nate pulls him aside to talk to him and be like, bro, why did you just like say my name? And Nate was talking with his hands. And this Chris guy just starts going, whoa what are you gonna hit me don't

don't don't touch me don't touch me like very defensive and i was like i feel like that's weird yeah i don't like that i don't like that you're doing that i'm not gonna say the word but i don't like it i see what you're saying he's just like a little like succession bitch yeah but like not a badass succession bitch like a yeah a little bitch bitch didn't like that he's kendall he's not roman he's kendall when kendall is not badass yeah he's like kendall in the um in like the editing bay like the field position yeah yeah freaking out about the interview yeah yeah that's that's the type of candle he is. Then we have cocktail rose ceremony stuff. Cool.

This is what I wrote down. Underdog speech from Rodney. Gotta love an underdog speech. We love it. He's like, I'm never the guy that girls pick. I just want to find my person, like my wife. I want to have kids, all this stuff. I want that to be Michelle.

She got the underdog speech from Rodney. We love Rodney. I also wrote, blonde is such a dick. Which blonde, though? Dyed blonde. Dy blonde okay yeah dyed blonde beard yeah yeah yeah not a blonde beard yeah but with beard he sits her down he asks really quick if she's high maintenance and she's like what no i'm not high maintenance and he was like oh well because in my experience all the the girls, like maybe in Miami, he said, are all high maintenance. So he's questioning her truth and then starts kind of accusing her of being high maintenance. And she's like, ah, no, not me.

And then he starts using reverse psychology under the guise of feminism. Which I did. These are Sarah's notes. Not like. I wasn't sure until this moment that these are in fact Sarah's notes not like I wasn't sure until this moment these are in fact Sarah's notes I wrote using reverse psychology under the guise of feminism um high maintenance she ends up teaching him like her kids so he essentially she's like please explain to me what high maintenance is for a woman. And he says that women are high maintenance because they expect a man to do everything for them.

And she's like, okay, okay, okay. So what makes a man high maintenance then? And he goes, well, men don't expect women to do things for them. That's an interesting. A man doesn't ask for a woman to take care of him. Exactly what he said. A man asks his parents to. A man doesn't ask for a woman.

Yeah. You know. You ask your mommy. Yeah. And that's a woman. And that is a woman. So I wrote crazy oblivious men aggro male. There are just some guys on the show this season,

like the Jamie and the Chris and the dyed blonde with beard man. Yeah. They don't even realize they're being sexist. They don't even, and maybe, I don't know. It's just like a weird male privilege type of thing where it's like, sweetie, go make me a sandwich. Yeah.

So yeah, it was definitely an interesting show. I liked it. You good with this season? Yes, I do. I like this season. Okay. Yeah. Cool.

So who do you think is going to win, Joe? Possibly. Yeah. I also think Rick is a front runner as well. I really like Rick. Salad table head guy. I don't know what that means. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The table, and it was just his head under a platter. Yeah, entree. He was an entree He was the main course I like him Let's pivot away from Bachelorette Because that was 30 minutes of your notes Through Bachelorette should we go into Ben's wedding

Does that make the most sense First of all I was an usher I saw people in magazines say that I was a groomsman But you know what? I got called up. All right? Because you know why? Why?

No one leaves them wells on the bench. I don't know. What did you say in the beginning? Can't keep me on the bench no more? Yeah, that's right. I was the only one from Bachelor Nation. I said, hey, can't keep me on the bench no more. But yeah, People Magazine said I was a groomsman.

I wasn't a groomsman. You ushered your way throughout that wedding. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even get that joke. Usher. Usher. I still don't get the joke. Because you were an usher, and I'm talking about Usher, the singer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Usher. is that what he called himself ursher no never mind okay so i wasn't a groomsman there are only a few people in the country that weren't groomsmen i'm surprised i'm actually kind of like i feel like you might should be offended that you were not i I should have said, hey, Ben, you got 17 dudes up here. What's one more? What's one more? What's going on here? But I was the only person from Bachelor World that was asked to be a part of the ceremony,

which made me feel very good. Yeah. And also, ha, ha, ha, ho. A big fuck you to everyone else because I'm the coolest. Oh, God. But I ushed the fuck out of that thing. You know, kid? Yeah.

I mean, I was ushing blue hairs in there. I was cutting it up with them old ladies. Dude, old grandmas love me, by the way. Grandmas love you. They do. You know why? My sister, because I was like, I was like, grandmas love me because I'm thin, unthreatening, sweet. And my sister, of whom we were staying with while we were in Nashville, goes, no.

Grandma's like you because you talk to them. No one else talks to them. And I was like, that's sad, but probably true. Yeah. Everybody forgets about grandma. I don't. Jess's grandma was so lovely. She was great.

By the way, she DM'd me. Oh, my God. That's right, because she's a cool grandma. She told us that. Oh, yeah. She was like, I have Instagram. It was so funny. She DM'd me and said, hey, it, because she's a cool grandma. She told us that. Oh yeah, she was like, I have Instagram. It was so funny. She DM'd me and said, hey, it was nice to meet you or whatever.

And then she tagged herself in it, being like what her name was. Oh my God. And I was like, I was like, granny, I know. I can see you. I can just click on your face in the picture. But I love that. So the first thing that happens is one of the, they had three ministers or priests or whatever speak at the wedding, which was beautiful, by the way. But the first one was like, this is an unplugged wedding.

No pictures, no video until. November 18th. Something like that, which might as well have been the owner of People Magazine should have come up there and said this, but whatever. So if you're wondering why I haven't posted anything about that,'m honoring that yeah november 18th y'all it was asked of me not to post anything so i didn't there are some people out there who are not listening to the rules and that stresses me the fuck out and when it comes to my wedding yeah our wedding our wedding yes I'm about to be like, hey, I know you don't listen to rules. I'm going to have to take your phone away. Yeah.

Hey, pick my out. Hey, bro. Bro. No phone. You know? Look at you just calling him out. Hey, man, I love him. We sat next to him at the wedding.

Yeah, I saved while Wells was ushing his way around town with all the grannies. I was working. While Wells was ushing his way around town with all the grannies. I was working. I had to save seats for all of our botch friends like Nick and Natalie, Dean and Kalen, Derek and Saf, a lot of Molly. I ran out of articles of clothes. Oh, I know. And I felt so bad because I was ushing people in there and they're like, what about there?

And I was like, well, my fiance has the entire fucking row. So I don't know. The entire row. I felt so bad. finally everybody came up it was a lot a lot of fun i loved seeing everybody it was really nice to see all of them it was 400 people at this wedding it was terrifying and you know we've been planning away i'm trying to figure things out this is what i learned wonderful that they have 400 people we don't that like like them enough to travel to nashville yeah just to give a shit about them yeah we don't have that nor do i want that yeah when we first put our together our like massive like wedding list of like a free-for-all essentially to be able to edit it down it was only like 340. let me tell you what covid cut that

in half in half but here's the other thing and this is the thing that like i've been to enough weddings now and so like i love ben and i wanted to be there to celebrate with him but i wanted to stay away from him because i know what he has to do he has to go around and work the room and i didn't want to be one of the pain in the asses that he has to deal with because listen he can call me text me you can facetime me anytime in the week you know like meet me didn't want to be one of the pain in the asses that he has to deal with. Because listen, he can call me, text me, FaceTime me anytime of the week. Call me, beep me if you want to reach me. Nailed it. That's how I try to stay away from him.

But I can't imagine trying to go work the room for 400 people. No. No, thank you. Tiring. God. I would just get a projector and project a video that I made being like, hey, everyone, thanks for coming. That's not a bad idea.

But why? I mean, we could just say that in a speech. Yeah, let's get up on stage. Get up on stage. Hey, listen, I don't want to talk to all of you. I don't even know half of you guys. You know? Yeah.

This is my dad's accountant. Gary. I don't know about. I don't care. Come talk to you. Yeah. Anyways, beautiful wedding. Very pretty.

The vows were stunning. A tear. A single tear fell. No, more than a single tear. So I'm happy for them. They're down in the islands somewhere. Yeah.

Banging it out. Get, get, get it. Get it, get it. Get it, Ben.

Get the jack in your hand. I mean, how long until long until they're having kids? I would not be shocked if she's already pregnant. Yes. Immediately. Immediately. Immediately child rearing. Yeah.

Yeah. Child rearing. Yeah. Who are you most happy to see from the bachelor world there? Does Saf count? Well, I guess. I was most excited to see her. That's Derek's fiance.

Fiance. I was most excited to see her because we've only FaceTimed. I haven't met her in person. IRL. Yeah. So I was most excited to see her. I was really excited to get down and dirty with Kayen and Natalie McGurl's. I know. Cut the rug

with them. But yeah, I think I was most excited to see Derek and Saf. Fun party. I haven't seen them in a long, long time. Great party. Good to see everybody. Nashville still and will always be one of my favorite things. One of my favorite things this week, we

had Five Points Pizza from Nashville. Oh, God. So good. We ordered like five different pizzas. Yeah. Didn't eat all of it. No. Impossible. Impossible, but... But we wanted a slice of each for sure. Ugh. If you've never been to Nashville, please do yourself a favor and go to Five Points

Pizza. Yeah. The OG one is in East Nashville where I live, but now there's one, I guess, on Charlotte on the west side. So anyways. So good. The best. Anything else on Ben and Jess's wedding? Anything funny happen? The weed smoke thing was pretty funny.

That was really funny. You and I did not partake in the weed smoke portion of the evening. No. I don't like to smoke weed. I'd be honest with you guys. I don't like to smoke weed. We were around some with you guys. I don't like to smoke weed. We were around some people that you may or may not have heard of. And they wanted to go smoke the devil's lettuce. Some jazz cabbage.

All right? Some wacky tabacky. Now, we didn't want to do that, but I wanted to hang out with them. Yeah. So, we went over to the side of the building. And they lit up. Okay? This is in Nashville where weed weed smoke not legal yet now of course in california very legal it's like breathing over here but anyways we're just having conversations with these people having a good time we're not

smoking the weed not there's anything wrong with that but we think we're hidden and then all of a sudden the entire bridal party walks right past us. Grandies, fathers, everyone. Ben and Jess leading the way, being like, oh, God, this is our friend. Yeah, and I was just like, oh, God. And then what I remember the most is that the two wedding coordinators were trailing. They stop in their tracks, and they just glare us down. And I was just like, oh, God. We've been caught.

The jig is up. Can you tell we're from LA? Yeah. Anyways, that was pretty funny. That was funny., oh, God. We've been caught. The jig is up. Can you tell we're from LA? Yeah. Anyways, that was pretty funny. That was funny. So that's it. I guess we can probably share more stories after the 18th, which is when they've asked us to post photos.

Yeah. I don't know. It was a lot of fun. I had a fun time. I love weddings. One of my favorite things, weddings. You love weddings? I love weddings. Yeah. I don't mind it. I do. I like it. One of my favorite things? Weddings. You love weddings? I love weddings.

Yeah. I don't mind it. I do. I like it. Yeah. I think I love weddings. I don't think I, and this might hurt your feelings,

I don't think I'm going to like our wedding because I'm going to feel like I'm having to entertain people. Yeah. I love going to weddings. I don't want to go to mine. Okay. Well, I'm going to. You know what I want to go to? Choose your words wisely. I want to go to mine. Okay. Well, I'm going to.

You don't want to go to? Choose your words wisely. I want to go to the part after the wedding. Brown chicken, brown cow. We have a plan. We've talked about this. Yeah, but we can't talk about that on the podcast

because then it's a goddamn headline. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I'm excited for our wedding whenever that will be. But I totally understand what you mean. yeah it's rough it's it's guys it's so hard being popular i know and getting married do you have any fave things bro fave things bro bro bro i watched jungle cruise on the plane i I did too. With The Rock himself and Emily Blunt and I loved it. Yeah.

I watched it with you. You figured out how to sync up the timing of both our iPads so we were watching it at the exact same time. The exact same time. Don't know how you did that but. I'm a genius. Yeah I liked it but it was

a little corny. Yeah, but like to take a ride like the Jungle Cruise that's been there for such a long time. Okay, so for people that don't understand this, there is a ride at Disneyland called the Jungle Cruise and then they made a movie about it. Yes. So here's my thing about Jungle Cruise. It's kind of like a poor man's Pirates of the Caribbean. Yes. So here's my thing about Jungle Cruise. It's kind of like a poor man's Pirates of the Caribbean. Okay. The actual ride itself or the movie?

The movie. Okay. Gotcha. Like The Rock, okay. Emily Blunt, pretty good. But other than that, like it wasn't super captivating. Okay. I liked it. I'm just a Disney geek Okay. I liked it. I'm just a Disney geek, though.

I thought it was really cool how they made that ride into a full-fledged story. I thought that was nice. And even, like, the little jokes about, like, why is there a hippo here? They're not indigenous to the, you know, like, things like that. Like, it was really, really cute.

I, of course, am a big Skipper Dan fan. So to have all of the Skipper Frank dad jokes, the Skipper jokes in it, I very much love that. I love that they stayed true to the essence of the ride. Yeah. You know, cute,hmm. Cute. Cute. I got another fave thing, bro.

Okay. What is it, bro? Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, boom, boom goes the dynamite. Tick, tick, boom. Tick, tick, boom is a musical

by Jonathan Larson. Okay. Jonathan Larson wrote Rent. Yeah. You know that your girl's a big musical theater junkie.

I've always loved Tick Tick Boom. I grew up in the East Village. Jonathan Larson was just one of my idols growing up. My friend Vanessa and Alex are both in this new movie musical for Netflix.

Vanessa Hudgens and Alex Alexander both in this new movie musical for Netflix. Vanessa Hudgens and Alex. Alexander Shipp. Yep. It's directed by Lin-Manuel Miranda. Heard of him. Andrew Garfield plays Jonathan Larson. Spider-Man. So good.

It is so freaking good. I love it. I loved it. I loved it. I loved it. I was crying like a baby at the end I was starting to freak out because I was like I don't have waterproof mascara on I don't know what I'm gonna do it's so good I mean there's a song and I forgot about this song actually you were working

so I uh took my best friend Sierra to see it with me and she's never seen the musical or even heard about it I forgot that there was this one song in it and it's called no more and it's like no more blah blah blah about this apartment and like say hello to this type of apartment like really nice and some of the lyrics in no more i kid you not babe it's like no more taking showers in the kitchen it's very like no more leaky ceilings and holes in the floors and every shot of this apartment when they're singing this song called no more just reminded me of my childhood apartment that i grew up in with the tub in the kitchen and everything so it was a really nice nostalgic remembrance of my childhood not only for the actual musical itself but the shite apartment

i grew up in and it was awesome it's really really good is it in theaters it's gonna be on netflix okay it might be on netflix now okay tick tick boom tick tick boom check it out it's really really good went to the premiere had a blast it was fun it was a nice girls night did you meet lynn manuel miranda I have met Lin before. He was on an episode of Modern Family, actually. Oh, really? Yeah, back in the day. I did introduce myself to Andrew Garfield, though.

Did you say, hey, you said some Spider-Man thing, probably. No, I didn't. You were like, hey, I loved you, but Tobey Maguire is my Spider-Man. And you know what's crazy is that I said that a few days before actually meeting him. So I wrote to him and I was like, hi, I'm one of Vanessa's best friends. And I just have to tell you that Jonathan Larson, I grew up in Eastville. I gave him this whole story. And he's like, oh, that's so sweet.

And for some reason in my head, I was like, he doesn't believe that I actually love Jonathan Larson. And so I told him my 15th birthday. And my 15th birthday, me and my friends, we went to dinner and then afterwards we went out on the town, which is really just, you know, if you're 15 years old, you're just like walking the streets of the East Village. And so we went to Tompkins Square Park

and we lit a trash can on fire and sang La Vie Boheme in honor of Jonathan Larson. You're such a theater dork. Such a theater dork. Also an arsonist. I mean, I love fire. And so I told this story to Andrew Garfield and he looked at me with such terror mixed in with a little bit of delight

that I was like, okay, I need to exit this now before he calls security on me. Yeah. Because I'm not saying this about you, bro. This is not about you. Yeah. This is about Jonathan. I imagine he went home and he was like,

yeah, so it was a great night, you know, like great, you know, people loved it. And then I met the girl from Modern Family and she told me that she used to light trash cans on fire. So, all right. Yeah, so for people who don't know, that's a part of rent, right? Where they light shit on fire. So, all right. Yeah, so for people who don't know, that's a part of rent, right? Where they light shit on fire.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah, I didn't just come out with it out of the blue being like, I want to set fire. You have to preface stories so they make sense to people who haven't heard of or seen rent.

Maybe I should have done that with Andrew Garfield. Maybe so. Maybe so. Hey, Andrew, grew up in the East Village. I know burning trash cans is a big thing in rent. Maybe I should have done that with Andrew Garfield. Maybe so. Maybe so. Hey, Andrew. Grew up in the East Village. I know burning trash cans is a big thing in rent. Did it for my 15th birthday. Friends with Vanessa Hudgens. Peace out. And then he'd be like, oh, okay. Bye-bye. Yeah, I should have done that. Probably thinks I'm such a loser. Well, whatever. Whatever. Toby's my Spiderman. Yeah.

You got any fave things, Matt? Well, listen. We've been talking about mushrooms a lot as of late. And one of my favorite things is I do take Lion's Mane every single day. And I do think it does help keep me a little bit sharp. Like cognitive function? Yeah. Not an ad, but do love some Lion's Mane mushrooms. And I was thinking about mushrooms the other day.

but do love some lion's mane mushrooms. And I was thinking about mushrooms the other day and like how crazy the discovery of mushrooms must have been for the first fucking guy who did it. Like the first fucking dude that was like, I'm going to figure out what we can and can't eat. Because the first guy probably went around and was like, oh man, that one tastes pretty good. It'd be good in like a Cobb salad. And then he, oh, man, that one tastes pretty good. It'd be good in a Cobb salad.

And then he was like, man, that one over there, I could totally replace ground beef and make this into a hamburger. And then he was like, and that one over there fucking killed Larry. Oh, my God. And then those ones over there, I went to heaven, saw Larry, had a conversation with him. He's doing good. Those ones made me trip out. Poor Larry.

But can you imagine the ups and downs of mushroom? Those ones over there made me feel really focused. The ups and downs of mushroom science must have been crazy. Crazy. You know? I hope Larry's doing okay. That's a good observation. I never thought about that before.

The other thing I was thinking about the other day that I don't really understand is in Italy or in Paris, there's like ruins. They'll be like, oh, we're going to build a new skyscraper or whatever. And then they'll be like, oh, we can't because there's old ruins under here. Yeah. You know? Yeah. They're like, oh, my God, look at the mosaic tiling here from the ruins 100 years ago or whatever. Are we going into an alien conversation?

No, but here's my question. What the fuck? So were people like, that house sucks. Let's just build on top of it. I don't understand. Do people back in the day not knock things down back to the ground and then build back up? people like that house sucks let's just build on top of it i don't understand like what you like do people back in the day like not knock things down back to the ground and then build back up or they're just like building on top of things it doesn't make any sense to me because there's

like layers upon layers upon layers like in like venice and rome and stuff they're like digging down they keep on finding like new different houses and structures and things. Like if we dig below New York, is there like old New York underneath there? No. Right? No. We knocked it down. We built back up.

Yeah. What's happening over there in Europe, guys? I'm confused. Like the old Romans were like, well, this one's done. Let's just cover it with dirt and try again on top of it why would you just not get done doesn't make any sense well i guess i need a wife to hear out there to explain to me why the fuck there are ruins underneath cities yeah because i think of like catacombs but like that's there that's different though yeah that's all i'm talking about anyways

i was thinking about that didn't make any sense to me patty's interesting i never thought about that before i like it's just just fill that home with dirt and we'll just build on top of it i found this on tiktok i don't know what it is is there anything better than seeing two drunk people fistfighting a mcdonald's at 4 a.m. The answer is no. And if that's wrong, I don't want to be right anymore. Is there anything funnier than hearing a guy do a laugh or? I don't think so. And if that's wrong, I don't want to be right anymore. So I found that on TikTok.

I thought that was hilarious. So I put it in my notes. And you know what? Holds up. Still good. Still good. I feel like was hilarious. So I put it in my notes. And you know what? Holds up. Still good. Still good. I feel like that's a song that you would write. Yes.

For sure. For sure. For sure. Real quick, before we're done with this, here's what I've realized. What? There are two types of people in the world. There are two types of women in the world. Huh.

Okay. Sorry. True. People who love Taylor Swift, people who don't. And what I'm finding out, a lot of people love Taylor Swift. Yeah. The release of a record that's already been out is crazy. People are going crazy out there.

They're going crazy. I have not seen nor heard the new 10-minute version. Of what? Of All Too Well. I don't even know that song. I don't even know that song. It's the song about Jake Gyllenhaal. Yeah, so everyone's mad at Jake Gyllenhaal.

Everyone's mad at Jake Gyllenhaal now. Why are we mad at Jake Gyllenhaal? Because Taylor released a 10-minute version of the song with a music video starring Dylan O'Brien and Sadie something, 11's best friend on Stranger Things. Yeah, redhead girl. Yes, and I guess Jake was horrible. From what I've seen on the internet thus far, because I haven't had time to watch the video

yet, is that, which I feel bad, she did send me the sweater and the scarf thing. Yeah. But she left her scarf. Okay. It sounds so weird. She left her scarf at Maggie Gyllenhaal's place. Okay. And he kept it.

Okay. And then I saw that he actually kept wearing it out. Okay. Like, it's just his scarf now kind of thing. So people are mad at Jake Gyllenhaal about the scarf. Really? That's it? That's what we're talking about?

I'm assuming they're probably mad because he was probably horrible to her. Was he, though? Or is that her interpretation of their relationship ending, and now we all just hate Jake Gyllenhaal? I don't have the information. I know. I'm just saying. Come on.

I don't have the information. Love Jake Gyllenhaal. I like Jake Gyllenhaal. I don't have the information. I know. I'm just saying. Come on. I don't have the information. Love Jake Gyllenhaal. I like Jake Gyllenhaal when he sings Sondheim. Okay, dork. I don't even know what that is. But like Nightcrawler, great film. And like Sunday in the Park with George. Yeah.

Brokeback Mountain? How to Draw a Hat? Donnie Darker? A lot of great films. I don't know, but Taylor Swift is a great song. I'm on the, I like Taylor Swift music.

Oh, I know. A lot of women are. A lot of men are too. Yeah. Yeah. More women than men. Probably. All I'm saying is like,

this is a relationship that happened a long time. This is a record that came out, whatever it was, 15 years ago? Yes. She's re-releasing all of this music

as her own. I understand that. For her owning that. This is actually- It's a Scooter Braun fuck you guy thing that's happening, right? It's not even a fuck you Scooter Braun. This is a I'm claiming my own music

as a woman and an artist. Yes. Big week in pop culture, y'all. Britney is free. That is a big thing. That's one of my favorite things of this week. Some stuff happened with Jessica Simpson. Apparently she got her name back.

I don't know what that means. Someone stole Jessica's name? I did not read the article. It probably has to deal with her brand. She has like shoes and clothing and stuff. Probably has to do with something like that. Paris got married this week. And Taylor owns all her music now. Big pop culture week for women claiming their shit.

Very happy. For women who are like popping off in like the early 2000s. It's a big, if 2000 could see us now. Yeah, like millennial women right now are killing it right now. The millennials are freaking out this week. It's a big week for women. If 2007 could see us now, she'd be so proud. So proud.

It's very, very exciting. It is a big week. Now, I don't know if there's anything here, but I was thinking about it. We haven't done a fuck you very much in quite a long time. And I was wondering if there was going to be some fuck you very muches from the show that you hosted with me last episode. Ruh-roh-raggy. What do you think about that? There probably is.

Should we see if there are and go through them? Okay. We might have a lot of thank you very muches. Okay. You want me to kind of S your D real quick? I love a good S and D. Okay. This is from Hand Mama.

Five stars. Subject, Sarah. The pod with Sarah was great. Hotty toddy. All right. Hotty toddy, baby. Hotty toddy. Mollypop12.

Subject line, Sarah's the best. Five stars. Have Sarah on more often, please. Well, guess what? It's a happening. Your wish is my command. I almost said demand. Oh, wow. Well, guess what? It's a happening. Your wish is my command. I almost said demand. Oh, wow.

That's demanding. You're getting a lot of good stuff here from Dirt Odorah. Five stars. Please keep Sarah on here always. I love the podcast today. Exclamation point. The best one ever.

I loved Wells Energy with Sarah. Everything is just more relatable. So good. Aw. That's sweet. Wow. Babe, we' energy with Sarah. Everything is just more relatable. So good. Aw. That's sweet. Babe, we got chemistry, apparently. Apparently so. It was good. From FFHYTTGT.

Need more Sarah five stars. Sarah is hilarious. Exclamation point. Aw, you guys are so nice. I don't deserve this. You know what? I do. I do.

I'm speaking positive affirmations. I do deserve nice things. Cue Taylor Swift. This is why we can't have nice things. Bae. Bae. That was really sweet, you guys. Yeah, no fuck yous.

I enjoy it. No fuck yous at all. No fuck yous? No fuck yous. I didn't get one. That is so nice. People like you. Oh, you guys is so nice. People like you. Oh, you guys are really...

People like me. They really like me. One of my favorite things, Sally Field. I love her so much. So underappreciated. So underrated. Do the Sally Field bit that you always do from Mrs. Doubtfire. Do it.

I wasn't even thinking about this. What you always do anytime Mrs. Doubtfire. I wasn't even thinking about this. But you always do anytime you talk about Sally Fields, you talk about the Mrs. Doubtfire bit. Well, I mean, I just think it's genius. She says the whole time, three times in a row, and each time it's different.

It's just, it's amazing. The whole time, the whole time, the whole time, it's just so good. Yeah, boo, you do a good Sally Field dude. Mrs. Doubtfire, yeah. So funny, I started off the show doing Mrs. Doubtfire. Oh, hello. I love that movie.

We should watch that movie soon. One of my favorite things, Mrs. Doubtfire. Great film. Here's the bit. Here, honey. It'sfire. Great film. Here's the bit. Here, honey. It's me. Happy birthday. Daniel.

Daniel! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! The whole time, the whole time you were... The whole time! Oh, I'm sorry Miranda, please. Don't talk to me.

Don't touch me, don't touch me. I have to go. We have to leave now. Here's my question about that bit. Do you think that she was giving them options and then they kept the entire thing? No. No? That would be unusable.

Why? Cut back to the one of Robin Williams? No, no. I mean, you could, I guess, but no. Why? Cut back to the one of Robin Williams? No. No. I mean, you could, I guess, but no. I think that was just her process. I mean, you see all this stuff. Like, right before she slams the desk and is like, the whole time, that one.

That's her remembering about a specific conversation that she had with Mrs. Doubtfire about their marriage. You know what I mean? How was it written in the script? Do you think it just said the whole time? Yeah. The thing is, is that I don't know how much leeway if it said, because she says a lot of things multiple times, you know? So I don't know if she got to have some fun with that and play around with it or if it was written exactly like that. Yeah.

That's a question for Sally. Oh, well, we gotta have Sally on YFT one time. Gotta get Sally. If you get Sally, I would shit my pants. Would you? Yes, on camera. No, I wouldn't do that. Not on camera.

On microphone, yes. On microphone. It is the... What's funnier than a gas fart? You can't convince me. And if I'm not right, I don't want to be wrong. Let's go out on that. Okay.

All right. Thanks for being on the show again. Thanks for having me. Do you have anything else? I had a lot of fun. No, I don't think so. Last week was pretty busy. Yeah.

We did a lot. Well, we got through a pretty good episode here. Yeah. was pretty busy. We did a lot. We got through a pretty good episode here. We got stuff. We didn't have a lot of stuff. We had some stuff though. YFTers, we love you. I love you guys. Thank you so much for listening to me.

It'll be interesting to see if Brandy comes back next week. I don't know if she will. She will be back. I turned 31 in back next week. I don't know if she will. She will be back. Maybe. I turned 31 in almost a week. I know. I gotta get you a birthday gift. Wait, this is coming out on Wednesday?

Yeah. I turned 31 in a week. Yeah. It's terrifying. I don't know if you guys know this. This is the last thing I'm going to say, babe. What? I am the first woman Wells has ever been with.

He's been number 30. It's true. It's true. It's funny. All right. Love you guys. Bye, guys. I don't want to be right anymore. Is there anything better than seeing two drunk people fist fight in a McDonald's at 4 a.m.?

The answer is no. And if that's wrong, I don't want to be right anymore Real quick, this is Waylon Napadogan on TikTok. Is there anything funnier than hearing a guy do a laugh or The answer is no. I don't think so. And if that's wrong I don't want to be right anymore Alright, later.