Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Dick in the Dirt

Episode Date: September 15, 2021

Join your hosts this week as they reminisce on Nashville’s hottest places and take a deep dive down to Paradise, aka Tammy’s Bachelorette audition. Do Maurissa and Riley know they’re on ABC? We draw the line at feet sucking people. We also get some behind the scenes into Lil Jon’s special requests, including simply, a Gucci suit and a 4-wheel ride on the beach. Wells also breaks down a lot of football stuff, and gives us some exclusive White Claw ASMR. Your hosts decide that Joe and Serena are suh-cute, Kendall Jenner looked amazing at the Met Gala, and Megan Fox is both annoying and amazing. Enjoy!  Don’t forget to rate, review, and follow Your Favorite Podcast! Plus, keep up with us between episodes on our Instagram page, @yftpodcast.   Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers:  Shipstation — Go to ShipStation.com, click on the microphone at the top of the page, and type in YFT to get a 60-day free trial    Hello Tushy — Go to HelloTushy.com/yft to get 10% off plus free shipping. After you install your Hello Tushy, show it off! Tag us and @hellotushy on Instagram SKYN — Shop SKYN.com and get free shipping on orders over $30 in the contiguous US or explore SKYN on Amazon now. 

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print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code YOURFAVORITETHING to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code YOURFAVORITETHING. Do it. I can be blue. I can be violet sky. I can be blue. I can be violet sky. Just had some soup. I'm a big soup guy. I mean, we've talked about it before, but fave thing, soup. It's just the best. Had some tomato bisque. I bought tomato bisque, I bought chicken chowder, and I bought jambalaya, and the tomato bisque

was the most caloric of the three. How are you losing out to chicken chowder? Chowder just sounds like heart disease, you know? Now tomato bisque sounds like tomatoes, vegetables, actually it has a fruit, but healthy. I don't get it. How are you higher in calories? Tomato bisque, get together, do better. But don't get it. How are you higher in calories? Tomato biscuit together. Do better.

But you know what? It doesn't matter because it wasn't that much. And it was delicious. Delicious. The only problem with soup is that it's just way too much salt in it. Why you guys put so much salt? I mean, it tastes delicious. I can't tell. But when you look at the sodium, it's like 98% of your daily fucking allotment

of salt. And you're like, what? Why? Soup? We need a salt substitute. That's what we need. All right, let's call the Brando. Marlon Brando Cyrus. Hello?

What up? I can't see you. Do you see my beautiful face? There you go. I can see the beanie, the Titan shirt. Look at you. You know what? I've just decided to go full Titans guy. Did you decide that

or did you just get sent a gift box full of Titan stuff? So here's the thing. I grew up, obviously, on the Central Coast. So the closest teams to us were the 49ers and the Oakland Raiders. Right. Now, I was a 49er fan when I was a child, okay?

Okay. Because Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, it was a thing. For like a 10-year-old boy, they traded Joe Montana, my hero, to the Kansas City fucking Chiefs. Broke my heart. And I said, you know what? I want nothing to do with this organization anymore. I made that decision as a 10 year old boy.

Okay. So I said, we're going across the Bay. We're going black and silver, baby. Silver and black Raiders. It's been a hard road to be a Raider fan. I'm not going to lie to you. All right. Yeah.

It's been a, it's been a tough road to be a Raider fan. I'm not going to lie to you. All right. Yeah. It's been a, it's been a tough, tough road. Uh, and then I moved to Nashville where, uh, I lived there for 12 years and I went to a lot of games. Now they send me care packages and they've invited me to the Sunday, the Sunday night football game at the new Ram Stadium. So, and you know, I know we probably do have a bunch of front office dudes for the Raiders that listen to this podcast. You guys want, you guys want my fandom? Maybe it's time to send me some shit, you know?

Well, first of all, dudes don't listen to this podcast, so doubt it. Also, I've never been to a Titans game and I also got sent a gift box, just so you know. Oh, you did? Yeah. How have you never been to a Titans game? I don't know. Been to a handful of Preds games, been to a couple Sounds games, never been to a Titans game. Oh, you should go. It's the best. I take that back. I did go one time when my dad sang the anthem. Oh, that's cool. Yep. I forgot about that. To be honest with you, I've been to a lot of really cool stadiums. And I will say this, like, even though Nissan Stadium isn't like state of the art, it's not like the Death Star or Jerry World or this new SoFi Stadium, what it lacks in

polish and pomp and circumstance, it makes up for in the walking pedestrian bridge from the east side over to lower broadway yeah you're right you just leave the stadium and you just on your merry little way walk about a half a mile and all of a sudden you're at tootsies getting fucking hammered you know yeah i think the kids are going to like whiskey row these days not tootsies but hey what do i know well you know the kids are going to like Whiskey Row these days, not Tootsies. But hey, what do I know? Well, you know, the kids can go the fucking choogy Gen Z Tik Tok. They can go to Kid Rock's bar. Exactly.

And actually, if we got a bunch of those choogy ass Gen Z motherfuckers, listen, this don't come to my bars. I don't even live in Nashville anymore. But like, stay away from Robert's Western World. Stay away from Tootsies. I don't even know if Printer's Alley even exists anymore, but stay the fuck away from Printer's Alley. Wow. Do you remember Printer's Alley?

I do. And it's funny. The last time I tried to find Printer's Alley on foot, I couldn't find it. No. Printer's Alley is like, have you ever seen the movie Beer Fest? I can't say I have.

Well, anyways, it's these guys that are trying to go to this beer fest, like drinking competition in Europe. And they go and they don't do very well. And they're trying to go back the next year after they've trained, but they can't remember how to get there. So they all get fucking wasted. And when they get wasted they like somehow like remember like the magical journey into beer fest and i feel like that's what printer's alley is like you have to be pretty trash to find printer's alley i'm serious because i looked for it and i walked around and i was like it's right here but it's not i do feel like it is gone i think they knocked

it down and put up some high rises which is so nashville the do you know it is gone. I think they knocked it down and put up some high rises, which is Nashville. The Dew. I know. It is sad. There used to be a bar there called Bourbon Street Boogie Bar that I would frequent a lot. God, I loved it. Man. So anyways, yeah, I don't know if I'm a Titans.

I am a Titans fan. Like, here's the thing. The problem is that the Raiders and the Titans are both in the AFC. Like, it would be nice if one of them was in the NFC. But they're not in this. I don't even know what that is. So there's, like, two divisions in NFL. There's the AFC. And then there's the NFC.

There is? Yeah. I thought it was just all one thing. Well, I mean, they're all part of the NFL. But, like, the AFC play. And they whittle it down. What's the difference? Half the league is in the AFC. and half the league is in the NFC.

And then just listen to the example I'm about to give you. Then it'll make sense. The AFC stands for the American Football Conference. And then I think the NFC stands for the National Football Conference. Okay. Isn't that the same thing? They're all part of the NFL. Yeah, but national and American are the same thing.

Just listen to what it is and then it'll make sense to you. Okay. Okay. So half the NFL is in the AFC. And so they all play each other. And then they go to the playoffs. The winner of the AFC plays the winner of the NFC, and then that's who plays in the Super Bowl.

Why can't they just call it like basketball, like the Western Conference and the Eastern Conference? Why can't we just be like that? I mean, we got to get in the history of it all, but like it goes way back to there was two professional football leagues, and then I think it was the nfc was absorbed by the afc to make the nfl way back in the day i think sounds complicated sports are so complicated they are but you know what i'm glad they're back yeah i mean i love sports you know

went to a dodger game the other day saw that, sat second row behind the catcher. Wow. Who'd they mistake you for? Wilder Valbarama. That's pretty good. Me and Nick Viall went over there and we had a lovely time

at the ballpark. That's cool. Yeah. But here's the thing. When you go sit in those seats, and I can't go back and just sit, you know, in the nosebleeds now. Can't do it. No way. Never show someone what they could have because they will never go back to what they've always known.

No. Now that I've sat courtside a few times at the basketball games, like, I'll never go if I don't have courtside. I mean, that's so unrelatable, but it's true. Like if you go to courtside, you're like, I want to do that again. Yeah, I know.

Nothing like it. See, this is my complaint with football. There's no good seats. Even like the 50 yard line seats. Like I still can't see what's going on. Yeah, but have you sat in the box?

No, I don't really go to football games. So that's the thing. You haven't seen this problem. You haven't been in a box. So the box is the play? The box is the play. So you're way up high and you're in a room that's generally catered with like a bunch of free booze in it.

They've got TVs everywhere. So basically, it's like watching the game on TV. Basically, yeah. But you're there. So you're a part. You're right. Yes. But you're a part of it. But you're there, so you're a part. You're right. Yes. But you're a part of it.

Are you? I mean, not really, actually. But you, like, walk in the stadium with everyone else. Sounds like I'd rather just sit on the couch. Yeah. It's fair. You know, the Titans did really well last season. And so I'm like, all right, we're jumping on this bandwagon.

We're just going full in. Well, and they blew it. And then we lost. We lost bad i heard yeah not one of my favorite things but you know what sometimes you gotta get your ass kicked before you can really fucking get going you know gotta get that's true get your dick knocked into the dirt you gotta jump back up you know sometimes you get your dick yeah dick in the dirt okay dick in the dirt dirt great haven't in the dirt. Dirt great.

I haven't even started the show and we're already saying the D word. Dick in the dirt. I love it. Okay, we get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Great visual, really, it is. Yeah. Anyways, my other favorite thing.

Are you talking about the White Claw on a Monday night? Don't claw on it up, baby. And, you know, here's the thing. Normally, I'd have a Vizzy hard seltzer, watermelon flavored. But we drank all of them. And so now I'm cast down to the White Claw. Here's my thing, White Claw. Listen up, okay?

There's the variety pack, which is delicious, right? You got your black cherry. You got your raspberry. You got your grapefruit. And then they throw in the fucking redheaded stepchild of White Claw's in natural lime. I'd rather drink horse piss that's been dicked in the dirt. But you know what? Okay.

It's like White Claw. Fucking replace that with mango. Dude. Those, you'll fucking sell a gazillion of them. Here's the problem. They throw it in the, no one wants fucking natural lime, but they throw it in their most popular variety packs so they can get rid of fucking natural lime. Let's just discontinue natural lime, guys.

It's probably true. You know? Fucking throw mango in there. Pineapple, maybe care pineapple yeah give me give me two grapefruits white claw in the variety pack i'm not a big grapefruit guy i'm a huge pamplemousse yeah that's all right i love pamplemousse i'm a raspberry gal love razz mataz love it love black cherry yeah i like that one too and And watermelon. Ob. Yeah.

If that's even a flavor of White Claws, I don't know. I don't even know if it is. Pineapple's pretty good. Should be. The pineapple's all right. But anyways, Vizzy's better than all of those because it is. And that's a fact. I agree.

Funny because I only have two White Claws left and they're both natural limes. So, you know, we haven't done a night show in a while. So I figured I'd get a little loosey-goosey on some claws. Oh, really? Yeah. You know? Claws. Yeah, sure.

We're going to claw it up. Should we start? I think so. Is it you or is it me? I don't know. I think it's actually me. Okay. I don't know.

I think it's actually me. Okay. Bros and hoes, this is what every announcer sounds like in the football games. Wow, Brandi's going deep and she's going to score. You're listening to Your Favorite Thing Podcast with... Wells and Brandi. All right, quick PSA for those of you out there who rent. If you haven't heard of Built, you're about to thank me. Earning points on rent is now a reality when you pay your rent through Built.

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you need ShipStation to help you scale your business. ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiency with a robust all-in-one fulfillment system that integrates with over 180 of the most popular e-commerce platforms, marketplaces, and carriers. Listen, the holiday season is right around the corner. Odds are that you guys are probably selling stuff

on e-commerce. If you're shipping, you gotta do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 89% off UPS, DHL, Express, and USPS rates. What, you don't want to save money? Come on. Deliver a better customer experience with the industry-leading features that help you find the best carrier rates, print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code YOURFAVORITETHING

to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code your favorite thing. Do it. Radio Wells. Yeah, but it's also like what every announcer when you're watching football sounds just like this. That's always funny to me because, you know, I used to get that a lot. We're like, do your radio voice. And I'm like, all right, I'll do what I think you think a radio voice sounds like.

But then do people talk like that normally? Like if you're having sex, and i'm like all right i'll do what i think you think a radio voice sounds like but then do people talk like that normally like if you're having sex you're like all right here we go i'm gonna insert my penis into your vagina and there goes derrick henry running down the sideline touchdown titans do people typically talk that way during uh sex it's called talking dirty. Is it? Is that what it is? Because it sounds like you're just talking. Really awkwardly. Yeah.

So anyways, tomorrow I gotta go run some errands. I gotta go to the grocery store. I gotta pick up some dog food and I'm now inserting my penis into your vagina and then later I'm gonna go for a run. How are you feeling right now? That's called talking dirty. Is it?

I'll tell you who talks dirty is Marissa and Riley, bro. Oh, for sure they do. Wait, how do you know? Could you overhear? Well, I mean, I... Or you assume. I assume, you know? I mean, listen, this is my fifth season

doing this show that's the sexiest i think i've ever seen the show get oh for sure i mean i was like kirsten and i watched it together and we were like closing our eyes we were like is this porn or is this abc yeah and like and i you know the thing about about the Riley and Marissa Vidal, I love the zero shame. They're just like. Oh, yeah. Zero. And because it's very, to me, it's very endearing. It's like, oh, they really like each other.

Like, they are so into this. Yeah. And like her line of like, I had like a chocolate mousse and I loved it or something like that. Oh, I didn't even hear that. Yeah. She was like, I had me some chocolate mousse. Man, I love it. And he's like, yeah, you know, that's right that yeah she was like i had me some chocolate mousse man i love it and he's like yeah you know that's right i was like yeah dude i loved that she came dressed fully prepared for this whipped cream activity absolutely she wore like outfits that only yeah exposed things that she wanted to expose for licking yeah it was like slits from knee to like waist on her pants and

just like fully straight down the middle from chin to belly button straight up open she was ready yeah i loved it yeah it was good stuff and like the toe thing was hilarious disgusting i know disgusting that's like the one thing like I draw the line there. Like I'm I'll be adventurous and like whatever. Like I'm down to like have some fun. But the feet thing. No, no, no. Have you ever had that?

Have you ever had a guy like suck on your toes before? No, never. I don't think so. Interesting. Yeah, I don't think I would like that very much. Maybe, maybe, maybe not. Who knows? I don't know. I saw something think so. Interesting. Yeah, I don't think I would like that very much. Maybe, maybe not. Who knows? I don't know.

It's weird. I saw something on TikTok, so it's got to be true. Got to be. Got to be true. So I guess like the pleasure receptor for your genitalia is in like this one fold and, you know, like whatever, the abdulal, boomgada, whatever. a bula boom gada or whatever and apparently you can see where the pleasure receptor is on your brain for that it's right next to where you feel things for your feet and so they say that the reason why foot fetishes are a thing is sometimes those wires get crossed oh god what a tragedy, I know. That's really funny. Wires get crossed.

Oh, my God. It's so weird. Like, it's just, as humans, we're just so fucking odd, you know? So odd. And, like, I say it on the episode where I'm like, like, the only thing on that beach is sand, like, dirt, and just, like, dead fucking crustaceans everywhere you know yeah like that's a worst case scenario like listen you go you take a shower and then you decide to have sex okay maybe we can maybe maybe we can just like discuss the foot concept yeah walking around on a dirty nasty beach and then sucking on each other's feet i don't think so no no no no no no no no no no i know but you know what i say in that interview i'm like hey listen if you can do that like you're

you're there man like what yeah i mean you're right what hurdles do you have now you've sucked on dirty paradise festy foot disgusting that's what my buddy used to call hippies when you go to festivals and they like wouldn't wear shoes. They get festy feet and they're just like. Yeah, that's that's real nasty. Kind of like go through the episode and kind of get back to the Marissa and Riley just porn hub saga later. What were your thoughts on the episode? I liked it.

I thought it was jam-packed full of drama and i'm here for that i had a little bit of everything if you ask me it had like lots of drama lots of funny i think there's a lot of funny things that happened on it there was a lot of sadness with natasha there was a little bit of redemption for Natasha as well. And redemption for Tia. It seemed like Tia had a really wonderful time as well. Yeah. And then Chef's Kiss at the end with Joe and Serena professing their love for each other.

Insane. It was everything. All right. So let's start at the top. You kind of had to know this was coming. Brandon and Piper are in some trouble in paradise yeah they are you think brendan can't look any worse and then he just does just digging himself a deeper and deeper hole but who looks worse brendan or piper the first episode piper came down and was in like like when they went on their date or whatever.

And we're sitting on that daybed like talking, you know, like messing with their mics and stuff. Like Piper looked pretty bad. I thought that day. I mean, I guess she still was making comments about like, I don't need this shelf to make money and get followers. Like I have a marketing degree. I can do that. Like that was pretty disgusting. But at least like when they were grilling brendan like

she just kind of sat back and i actually think like she she like for me like i if i were piper i would be like thank god he came down here first right like thank god it wasn't her who had to get there first and figure out how to stay because all that it looks like for her like ever since she walked out on the beach, she's owned like, Hey, I'm here for Brendan, right? Like it's never been a game. It's never, she's never lied or anything like that. Like she's been honest and, and whatever. And she just got caught up in all of Brendan's lies, you know? And yeah, she's, she's here for his lies and she, which is sketchy. But at the end of the day, like, I don't know, to me, like Brendan's really the bad

guy. Like he just looks so bad. And, and when they're sitting there, like listing all the sketchy but at the end of the day like i don't know to me like brendan's really the bad guy like he just looks so bad and and when they're sitting there like listing all the things he's done wrong right like you can't come into this with you know already being in a relationship and all those things like for me the bottom line is what he did that was so wrong was lead on natasha right it's like yeah these people meet in real life yeah these people probably dm before they get here like well you know that happens and that's whatever but to me like the big no-no is like you just can't come down and lie to somebody waiting for someone else to come like that's where it's bad and to hear him sit there and be like these girls have no options like

nobody likes d'andra no one likes natasha it like, who the fuck do you think you are that you can say these things about these girls? Like you are trash. I'll tell you what happened. He got his dick knocked in the dirt. Dick in the dirt. I think on the show, I say it kind of as eloquently as you can. There is only one rule. And that is you can't come on the show with a boyfriend or a girlfriend on any of the shows.

That's what it seemed like i don't know when the news broke that like they saw each other the night before he left for paradise but like yeah that's bad i mean it is and isn't like who really gives a shit it's just not in the spirit of the show to do that we act like he killed a baby or something you know like we're acting like he's like the worst person in the world. He's really not. He just did a really bad job of explaining himself and that while manipulating someone and then showing his true colors by saying stuff just to Piper when he didn't think cameras were on him.

And it really was just like, oh, I don't know about you. To me, it's the arrogance that I just really can't stand. about you yeah to me it's the arrogance that i just really can't stand and it's the fact that he hasn't once not one time seemed like the least bit remorseful or like just not even acknowledging that he's done anything wrong to natasha really like and that to me is just disgusting like that's why i just feel like he's the worst. I mean, are you happy that they left or should they have stuck around? No, I mean, I'm glad they left. If I were them, I wouldn't want to be there. If everybody hated me, it sounds kind of miserable. You know what I mean? So I think it was the right move to leave. And honestly, like for the sake of their relationship, I think it

was the best move. I think if they had stayed, it probably would have really fucked with their relationship just because it would have been so awkward and miserable. You know, like I think for them to have their best chance, they they need to leave and just hang out in real life. Do you think Joe like overstepped his role there? Like there's a little bit of like, is Joe the enforcer of this place? Who is Joe that he gets to be like the guy that kind of kicks everyone out? Yeah, I think that's fair to an extent. I think probably like where it gets blurry is like, all right, once you do that to I already forgot the guy's name. Chris.

I think I left last time. Chris. Once you do that to Chris and that other girl, then you can't not do it to Brendan. Yeah. So it's like you do it once and then you're kind of putting that role. And then and then it's like, well, if you're not're kind of putting that role and then and then it's like well if you're not gonna do that for brent for natasha and and confront brendan like i don't know he kind of like put himself between a rock and a hard place there i feel like and i was kind

of okay with it just because i'm like at least somebody's saying something yeah i feel like you you needed some male energy there because then yeah the optics could have been like a bunch of you know scorned women, which is hell has no fury like a woman's score. It would have kind of looked like that where you, I think having Joe go there and I'll take the lead on this and then you guys can chime in when you want. I think that was the best way to do it. What was cracking me up? And it was fine because we all, you know, we all like she wasn't she wasn't wrong,

but it was cracking me up that demi was like so like you're wasting my time i deserve a rose and i'm like what do you mean wasting your time you had nothing to do with brendan this entire time well she did go on a date with him that first date oh did she i don't remember that yeah they went on a date and they kissed. And then he was like, I'm not interested in you. Then she freaked out. Oh, wow. And there is a little bit. There is a little bit of like, hey, Demi, maybe sit this one out.

Because let's let us not forget that last time we filmed this show, you came to paradise with a girlfriend still back at home. Right. And we had to bring said girlfriend to the show for you a little cringy that she was so like a part of that i guess but yeah i think she was aware of it the problem is that she is just a big force on the beach and i'm she just yeah you know well for sure and to like make a scene she loves to do that the whole thing about like chasing clout i normally would be like whatever like you don't know like no one knows if that's true or not but their conversations about followers pipers

especially crazy i was just like dude don't say this out loud and also piper i hate to fucking burst your little bubble but you having a market a marketing degree doesn't mean dick in the dirt about getting people to follow you on Instagram. This is your new favorite phrase. But it's true, you know? Yeah, no, I know. Yeah, absolutely. You know how many people go to school now for social media marketing? Guess what? It's insane. Guess what? You know how many of them actually are successful in that very little because it all has to do with how interesting the person is not the shit that you

fucking curate yeah i'll be curious to see all the gossip this past these past couple weeks or how many followers that brendan and piper have lost oh that i saw metrics of that from last episode i don't know about this episode. That's what I was saying. It's already dropped so much from the last episode that I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it's going to drop another big chunk after this one. Yeah, it was like Brendan lost $100,000 and Natasha gained $100,000.

I know, I loved it. It was everything. I did too, man. Okay, so they leave. Probably best for everybody. And I think best for them too, man. Okay, so they leave. Probably best for everybody. And I think best for them too. Yeah. And then the Tammy Tommy show commences.

Since when do we call him Tommy? I think that I started nicknaming him Tammy and Tommy because it was funnier. Uh-huh. It was just funny. It kind of came out of left field. Yeah. Well, I think I had been calling them that, but they just hadn't used. They haven't used a whole lot of me up until this episode anyways.

So. I said, I know that. Yeah. Thanks, Brandy. You buying her like being upset because she calls him her best friend. That's where I'm just like, Tam, Tam. What? I mean, you know that I just can't with her.

Why can't you with her? I don, you know that I just can't with her. Why can't you with her? I don't know. She is just a complete mess 24-7, 365. I just can't. True. I mean, my whole thing with her is, first of all, you did this to Aaron. Yeah. You were in it with Aaron and then jumped ship for someone hotter.

Okay, well, this is exactly what Thomas is doing. He was in it with you, and now he's jumping ship for someone hotter. Okay. Well, this is exactly what Thomas is doing. He was in it with you and now he's jumping ship for someone hotter. Like, I don't know what to tell you. You kind of asked for this. Yeah. Karma. Number one.

Number two. I like, I just get, again, I understand like you're in a bubble and you feel all the feels and the producers are making you feel things you wouldn't normally feel in the whatever. I get that. But also it's like things you wouldn't normally feel in the end. Whatever. I get that.

But also it's like you really couldn't see through his shit. Like Thomas was never that into Tammy. He just wanted a rose and wanted to stay on the show like a bunch of those other guys. Like right before this rose ceremony, all of a sudden like all these people I've never even seen speak are making out because they're trying to get a rose. I'm like you guys are fucking crazy. Like, who made out with Box Guy? Was it Tia? Yeah.

I'm like, have you guys even spoken? Like, what is happening here? Like, come on, Box Guy. Like, you know Tia's not really into you. You have to know she just wants a rose. Tammy, you have to know that Dickhead Thomas is not really in the mood. You have to know that he is just trying to get a rose from you and stay on the show. Like, how do you not see this coming?

There's a little bit of me that wonders if Tammy assumes that this is her bachelorette audition. It wouldn't shock me. You know? I feel like I'm getting a lot of alligator tears, a lot of Tammy just freaking out over like, what's happening? Like, I don't know. If it's your birthday in paradise, you should not come to paradise because it always ends badly for people's birthdays. Who else's birthday was bad?

Kenny, because Demi threw the cake in the fire. Oh, yeah. You know, Tammy. I was cracking up. She was like, last year on my birthday, I had COVID and this is worse. Like, was it? Because COVID sounds pretty bad. Yeah, I know.

God save the Tammy Queen, though, because like her exit with the fucking cupcake. She's like, it's pretty good. I was like, oh, Tammy, I love you, love you kid i mean she's good tv you know great tv oh god she had some good lines i'm sad like if we're being fair we lost a lot of star power in this episode i know i was thinking that you know uh i mean luckily we're getting now to the lovey dovey portion of the season. Yeah. Which is very evident with Riley and Marissa fucking on a day bed and Kenny and Mari just like, you know, going to boom boom. And but yeah, we lose Demi.

We lose Tammy. We lose Brendan and Piper. Who else do we lose? Jesenia. Oh yeah, Jesenia. So we get to the part of the rose ceremony where I have to be like, this is kind of fucked up, guys. This poor girl went like full in on Brendan and, you know, kind of got screwed over. We need to save her.

So I call Polly down and we do the whole thing. It was really funny. The behind the scenes of that is interesting because, you know, you know, the, the idea that like we needed to save her was something that we had been talking about kind of all day. Cause it was like, this isn't right. What, what's happening with her? How does Wells give her a rose?

Cause if I give her a rose, it looks like I'm giving her a rose. Right. You know? So we had to figure out a way to give her a rose without me actually being like, will you accept this rose? Right. You know?

Uh-huh. So in comes Polly. And that's why we did it that way. Also, it's always wonderful to have Polly come down here. By the way, one of my favorite people in the world, that's Polly.

That's the director of the Rose Ceremonies. Okay. So he just like is always there. So if you were wondering like, who is this very tall, bald man? Well, that's- Well, that's exactly what I said. When you were like, Pauly, come down.

I was like, who? Yeah. From Jersey Shiller? Yeah, exactly. It's exactly- You know, there's a part of me that was wondering if Yesenia was like, wait, hold on. This exact thing happened kind of to me.

Well, is it going to save my ass here or not? Yeah, the difference is she ditched Ivan for Chris and Natasha never ditched anyone. She was just so loyal and authentic. I know. She's a cutie pie. We her ass little john comes in love it it's just so funny because like you know they send my ass in there to be like the this needs to be serious obviously brendan and piper left you need to go set the tone that like this is serious this is fucked up you need to go save Natasha. She's going to be crying. She was crying the entire time. You know, it was like the most stressful

rose ceremony to date for me. And then like, then they, so we finished and I go back up and I'm talking to the producers and they're like, all right, we're sitting in Lil Jon. And Lil Jon gets to go to spray fucking champagne and turn the energy all around. I was like, can I

make him happy one time? Or am I only like bad news bears coming down here dick in the dirt wells is here he's gonna ruin your fucking day oh god he's gonna ruin your day i'm really glad that uh little john got to uh got to be in that date where he pulls up in a uh atv oh yeah that was good because i was told all he wanted to do for his entrance was to ride a four-wheeler on the beach in a gucci suit and jump off and say like yeah and and so we were like we tried to figure it out i was like how am i gonna get a fucking four-wheeler on this beach? You know? And so that date of him like pulling up, I was like, all right, he got his.

His big moment, yeah. Weird request. It was like all the things that people wanted. Lil' Sean was like, I need a Gucci suit. I need an ATV. How can we make this happen? I respect it, honestly. Here for it.

I need a bottle of champagne to spray, everybody. I need some tequila. Anyways. I'm going to start requesting those things. Yeah, like that's when you're riding. Gucci suit, a bottle of champagne. Ma'am, most people request like avocado toast and like room temperature water. I need a Gucci track suit and a four wheeler.

Thank you. Tia goes on a date with daddy, daddy. Like, okay. Is it just me? Or are you thinking that they've at least DM each other before? I think everyone's deemed everybody, but like she is full. Like if she does another, like we get it. Your vagina likes this guy. All right?

Yeah. It's something. I mean, my vagina is vibrating. You know? My vagina. Oh, my God. My vagina is tingling. I'm ovulating right now.

My vagina is pregnant. All right. Enough vagina talk, Tia. I remember my first makeout session. Yeah, Tia, this is what happens when you make out with a straight guy. Who would have thought? Oh, man. Got him.

Yeah, you mean your vagina wasn't tingling when making out with Colton? Can we keep this in? I don't know. I don't know either, but. I'm not sure. I think it's fair, though. I love you, Colton, so much. I'm sorry.

I do, too. I love Colton. But, like, it is fair, you know, like, you have some weird sixth sense of, like. For sure. Chemistry. have some weird sixth sense of like for sure chemistry and if someone isn't even into your gender yeah you have to feel that for sure and she felt it in her vagina it was tingling and vibrating oh yeah we heard all about it for a full three minutes i kind of love it like tia's right here she got titties out one day, talking about vagina vibrating next day.

Like, what's next for you, Tia? I don't know. She seems on board with that guy, who I've never seen before, by the way. Daddy Daddy. I love the name. And then what? Natasha's date with Dr. Joe. Okay.

Speaking of being straight, my Brendanan i'm sorry are you guys a couple are you together are you dating i'm confused i just wish he had played it a little cooler because i thought the date was going really well i know honestly like i'm a little bummed she even brought it up i mean if he had still been on the beach, like, yeah, maybe I, then I understand, like, kind of warranted to bring it up so that he knows what's going on. But with him not even there anymore, I kind of wish she just hadn't brought it up.

And also knowing that they are friends. Yeah, especially. Not a great, yeah, I kind of agree. That's a little self-sabotage-y. Yeah. And then also, like, letting it get to her. Like, she knew that they were friends. So she knew, like, at that they were friends so she knew

like at least subconsciously that that she probably wasn't gonna like how he's gonna react to it so it was almost like set to fail right i wish i had been there to be like natasha we all have friends who do douche douchebaggy things it doesn't make that person a douchebag it just means that their friend is you know like yeah this guy's a fucking i think i don't know we'll see if i say it i'm like he's a fucking doctor all right he's not he's not like personal trainer riley's occupation straight up says works out so yeah but he's a lawyer i know but it's funny i I know, but like, hey, listen, I just want to say this to all like the future girls coming to paradise. Lawyers and doctors, diamonds in rough.

Rare. They just don't show up there, guys. All right? You're right. You're right. Fucking hold on for grim death because that's as good as you are going to get because guess what?

You don't have a marketing degree like Piper does. You can't grow that following, you know? So you gotta fall back on your medical doctor skills. Saving lives. That's funny. I guess like the cutest fucking thing of it all with Joe and Serena. Are they the cutest fucking thing ever?

Or what's happening here? I mean, they're pretty fucking adorable. Yeah. I'm just really impressed, I guess is the word I will use here. I'm just really impressed that Joe has it in him to do all this with Kendall there. Yeah.

Watch it. It's pretty crazy. Speaking of Kendall, what? Kendall and Ivan? Really? Yeah, and I actually kind of feel bad for Ivan because I didn't know that.

I do too. And he's kissing her shoulder and she's like, get the fuck away from me. feel bad for Ivan because I didn't know that. I do too. And he's like kissing her shoulder and she's like, get the fuck away from me. And I was like, okay, go. No, I know. What is the, I can't with that. Poor Ivan. He deserves better.

He does deserve better. I love him. Is there any part of you that's annoyed that Joe didn't say I'm falling in love with you first? No, not at all. It's funny because I would never have, like, going into this, I would have never thought those two would end up together. You know, like, it's just such, like, a surprising pair, I guess.

Yeah. Because they're so cute. Because they seem very comfortable in their own skin. Yeah. And then also, in turn, very comfortable, like like being with one another it just seems very authentic i guess the thing is is that joe is just very lovable i could see that you know i think it happened it happened last season obviously with kendall it's happening again like i even i fall into it he's just like a nice guy you know so i understand him coming there and being successful because he's just a

very lovable person yeah for sure but he is taking out the trash every night i mean like i i when they'll never show it but i used to say like that i called joe the undertaker like because it was like every day he's kicking someone new out like i was like i remember waking up the next day being like joe who's fucking next in the chopping block here like who we cut is it me am i getting out of here is little john getting cut oh my god was this the best episode or was last week's episode the best episode i think i liked this one better really i think so it was a little more well-rounded, I feel like. Uh-huh. Gave you a little bit of everything. I'll agree with that.

The last one was one that, like, I was there and I knew what happened, and I was like, wow, this is fucking intense. This is some dick in the dirt stuff, whereas this one was like, oh. The thing that I'll close out with is, yes, we lost some, like, heavy hitters, some, like, big stars, people that do a really good job of, like, making very compelling and dramatic television. And so your thought might be, because I kind of alluded to it, like we now fall into like this lovey-dovey portion of the show. And I will say that there are a couple things that

are going to happen that are going to blow your mind in like the dramatic sense. And what's crazy to me is that I haven't seen a tease for any of it yet. And I'm like, are you gonna cut this out? They can't cut it out. Like there's something happens that's just so bonkers that I think everyone's just gonna be like, whoa. But they haven't started teasing this yet. And once they do, oh, wait for it.

So. All right. Alright. We did a lot of batch there. We did a lot of saying dick in the dirt. Guess what the name of this episode is? Dick in the dirt? Yeah.

Oh, God. Last question about Paradise. Oh, here we go. Favorite couple on the beach? Honestly, I think Riley and Marissa. I think I agree with you. Yeah. I think I do.

I love them. Yeah. Even though I'm pretty sure Marissa has like tetanus or something. Oh, for sure. Yeah. All right. That's enough. That's enough bad stuff.

All right. Fave things, bro. What you got? Did I tell you I started clickbait? Yes, we've talked about it, like, last episode. It's with Adrian Grenier. Yeah, or however you say his name. It's interesting because it seems like every episode

they introduce a new character or something. Like, it's interesting. And have you seen it at all no do you want me to like ruin something or maybe not i don't care go for it are you gonna watch it or no yeah we'll see okay here's a little spoiler so if you don't want to hear this movie fast forward 20 seconds um but i'm on like episode four and i think it was episode three they find his body and he and and somebody killed him so early, like in,

and I was a little shocked by that because this whole thing is like, he's missing and they're putting out this viral video that they're going to kill him, but they can't find him and whatever. So I was under the impression like this whole series was going to be trying to figure out where he is or like find him or whatever. And like episode three, deader than a doornail down by the Creek.

Damn. I know. So that's interesting, but they keep introducing new characters. And honestly, like I haven. Damn. I know. So that's interesting. But they keep on choosing new characters, and honestly, like, I have no idea where it's going at all. Like, zero. Man, he's dead in the creek?

Yeah, dead in the creek. Dead in the creek? Dick in the dirt? What is happening? Yeah. I do want to watch that show, and, like like everyone's been talking to me about it so honestly like it's just so crazy like dating apps are just so sketchy like it's so crazy that this is completely realistic that someone can put up a profile

and use a fake name and carry on an entire relationship and and just it's all a lie yeah and you'll you just don't you would never know it's just scary it's happening a lot too it's freaking scary i hate it and i don't like it i know a lot of quote-unquote celebrities that people will impersonate them and then the person that they're they're like catfishing will eventually figure out and how to find the real celebrity and confront them and they'll be like i don't know what the fuck you're talking about like i i'm not this person that's sending you messages you know and they'll do like crazy things i've been like you know this is i had to have a secret burner account because my relationship with this very successful actress is all a sham

we do it for like publicity but really i'm in love with you and you hear stories of like them sending people month like celebrities money like why would you send a celebrity money why would they need money they're yeah all this crazy stuff it's just bonkers dude don't i know don't get wrapped up in all that stuff yeah it's pretty crazy but obviously if you watch the show you'll see the you know this guy is like on all these dating sites under all these fake names and it's just crazy because like that could actually really happen oh it happens all the time insane hold on one second i need another white claw oh yeah okay let's do some asmr or whatever it's called oh that's good it is a nice sound isn't it yeah

you're really selling it yeah here's the thing i only like seltzers now i can't drink i can't drink anything else i don't like nothing tastes good to me except seltzers specifically busy and here's the other thing i only like them on the rocks i like to have it like in a glass i don't like drinking it out of the can you are so booze i don't know if that's booze or that's like so basic bitch both yeah so we're just not drinking whiskey anymore at all i can still drink whiskey but like you know whiskey can fuck me up a little bit so yeah so i can do like one or two of those because i used to just drink like vodka soda

and I realized that like it was not doing great things for my body, especially like my stomach. Whereas like I can have like three or four like hard seltzers and feel a little buzzed and then like wake up next morning and be like, I feel good, let's go. Beep bop, boop bop, boop bop. Yeah.

I watched the new Hugh Jackman film. Oh. It's called Reminiscence. I've seen that. I've scrolled past that. How was it? It's on HBO Max. Mm-hmm.

The premise of it is so cool. The execution of it is clunky and long. Okay. That's a bummer. Here's the tag. Nick Bannister, a private investigator of the mind, navigates the alluring world of the past when his life is changed by a new client named May.

A simple case becomes an obsession after she disappears and he fights to learn the truth about her reminiscence. It takes place in the future where like we've fucked up the world and like the ice caps have melted and all the you know the oceans have risen and everything hugh jackman has this machine where people can like sit in it and they can basically go relive memories of their past and because the world sucks so hard in this future, people are wanting to go back to when it was awesome, you know, before we like ruined the world.

And then it turns into this love story with this girl, May, who's played by Rebecca Ferguson, who's actually, she plays Rose the Hat in Dr. Sleep. And I loved her in that. So I was really excited to see her and then also tondi newton who was in west world is hugh jackman's like main partner and then also cliff curtis who's been in like a ton of stuff so the cast was like is like ridiculous it's got like this kind of like film noir vibe to it so you're like oh cool this could be like really fun it just dragged on a little bit but if you do like psychological thriller sci-fi vibe maybe go

check it out just watch the first like 20 minutes and then go from there but anyways Reminiscence it's on HBO Max I'm gonna give it like a half thing okay I feel like I'll probably give it a shot dude the thing that i'm so excited about have you seen any of the trailers for mayor of kingstown no what's that dude so it's not it's not out yet but like i keep seeing these trailers i'm like god fuck this show needs to come out it's on paramount plus and guess who love guess who created it who the dude that did yellowstone yellowstone fuck yeah okay so listen about that listen to the fucking cast in this one kyle chandler coach taylor coach taylor love him jeremy renner oh and then you know who else is in it adian gillian do you know who that

is no he was in a little show called game of thrones he was little finger oh little finger yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and then like a lot of like other heavy hitters anyways it comes out november 14th here's the tag so far away i know the mccluskey family power brokers in kingstown michigan where the business of incarceration is the only thriving industry tackling themes of systemic racism, corruption, and inequality. Mayor of Kingstown. So it seems like they're both like cops or something. Maybe like Jeremy Renner isn't a great cop and maybe Kyle Chandler is, or maybe vice True Detective season one vibe to it. Ooh, yeah. Anyways, and it's on Paramount+.

Paramount Plus is all of a sudden being like, you know what, we're going to start making some fucking hit shows, guys. I know, I know. They really have. Kyle Chandler is just the best and he's just the hottest old guy ever. He is a handsome man.

I know. Was he in Bloodline? Yes. I loved Bloodline. I did too. Yeah. I do have some music. Do you have anything else?

I think I might have some music too, but that's it. Did you ever get into the band Elliot Root? No. Oh God. I love this band in Nashville. Ended up becoming good friends of mine. They have so many freaking good songs. They've got a new single out.

This one's called Rescue. Anyways, this is Elliot Root. Check it out. I just need some mercy Wondering will somebody think that I'm worthy If I don't believe what I can see I'm wondering will somebody come rescue me Somebody come rescue me

Somebody come rescue me That's called Rescue by Elliot Root. I feel like that was something that you'd really like. It seems like right. I liked that, yeah. But yeah, they're great. A couple songs you should go look into.'ve got a song called june after dark that's like fucking phenomenal that i played a bunch on lightning and on alt and then the song that

like i they were a well smells a hit band way back in the day such a good bit and i just i'll play a little bit just just so you guys can hear it. But this is my Well It Smells Like Hit song. And I was like, this is a fucking radio genius song. It's called Punks and Poets. You've been looking for a reason To tear it all down and I don't understand why If it's all just the same We could watch it burn

Or live in the sky Can you feel it calling me? They call it me, yeah Let's pretend there's nothing left to say Anyways, Elliot Root, they're fucking awesome. Go check them out. Cool. I'm a little behind on sharing this song. It came out in June. I feel like I listen to a lot of Fletcher

and haven't shared a whole lot of her music on this podcast for some reason. I love her song Bitter but the new one newer one she has out

is called Healing and I love it so much. It came out in June. I can't erase all the things that I've done I love her. She's super cool. Yeah. It's a good one. And then my buddy Sam Hunt has a new single out called 23. And it's super catchy, super feel good, easy song to listen to.

Glad he's finally putting out some new music. but me we'll always have four way beach we'll always have delta nights we'll always be in between real love and real life you can ride the train to work straighten out your accent in the city dell just sells sam i'll be good i liked it my buddy uh daniel ellsworth he's got a new band that he put together out here called Dark Minds. He's been doing a lot of like TV and movie and ad syncs out here, kind of with this band and his publishing company. But like he still fucking writes just massive hits. And they just put out a new record called Monument.

My favorite one, See You on the Way Out, but the whole record's really good. And some people are just way too fucking talented dark minds right here when the tide turns i will be ready i can feel the sea change coming the writing's on the wall we keep marching into the great unknown i'm a fighter walking on a wire we're charging into I'll see you on the way. I sank to the bottom. There I opened my eyes and I saw that there's pain and there's madness. That's Dark Minds. See you on the way up.

The record's called Monument. Go check it out. God, Kendall Jenner looked amazing at Met Gala. Is it weird for me to be annoyed by Megan Fox? It's funny you say that because I love her so much. Same. I mean, so much. Same. I mean, like, you know. Have you seen the TikTok going around of her

on the red carpet with Machine Gun Kelly from the VMAs? No, but I saw an interview and I was like, her talking just sounds like she's someone that would annoy me. Oh my God.

She is so funny. There's this TikTok. Wait, I got to just find it. Hold on. Give me one second. We'll go out on this because it's too good. Yeah, send it to me

and I'll just plug it in. He was like, you're going to be naked tonight. And I was like, whatever you say, Daddy. Whatever Daddy says. Are you proud of him? Very proud. He's the most talented boy in the world. And then you're pretty talented too, seeing you in Bloody Valentine.

Are you guys going to collaborate more when it comes to your music videos in the future? I mean, he's not allowed to have other hoes in his music video. It's the queen or no one. I love her so much. I know, but listening to her talk with her lips doing weird stuff, I don't know. For whatever reason. She's got so much filler in her lips, she can't speak right probably, but she's so hot. I love her. It's no shame. She can't have other ho but she's so hot i love her it's no

shame like she can't have other hoes in his music video it's the queen or no one girl preach it i know i don't know about like i don't know about like calling machine gun kelly daddy yeah a little extra for me but i you know what i don't care i love her young me had such a crush on her and i you know yeah you know like transformers like she was the hottest and i feel like now and this is this has more to do with me than it does her because i've gotten older i think if i were around her i'd be like what are you talking about stop calling him daddy okay fucking larry or whatever his real name is like please stop i think his name is uh is it colson or colton or something like that colson baker colson i was right that dress though fuck i know what happens if you have a fart you know like what happens then? I'm not sure. I don't know.

All right. Well, let's get out of here. All right. Good luck with your horse showing tomorrow. Thank you so much. Appreciate you. Bring home that blue ribbon, baby. That's the goal.

Let's do it. baby. That's the goal. Let's do it. I think again next week, no BIP on Monday, only on Tuesday. Football, guys, you know? What a tragedy. Tra-ge-tay.

But we love ya and we miss ya. Love ya. See ya guys. Dick in the dirt! See you guys. Dick in the dirt. Ew. Ew. on an uphill climb. I'm a Hail Mary in overtime. Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready? Three, two, one.

I'm about to blow. Can't be stopped. I'm invincible. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.