Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Don't Call it a Comeback

Episode Date: June 25, 2025

Wells is back in L.A. after a whopping 67 days on the road and can FINALLY sleep in his own bed! Is there anything better than that?? Well, how about sleeping in your own bed WITHOUT chainsaws running full blast next door? Yeah that does sound better, actually. True story right now for our guy. But ear-aches aside, this week’s ep is Brandi-less, so guess who makes a dirty appearance reading possibly the most r-rated story we’ve ever seen. 😲 Meanwhile, your host details his epic come-from-behind-back-from-the-dead golf victory at the McDreamy tournament he played in Portland, ME. YFTer’s, when we say it was a win for the ages, that is not an understatement. Side note, Wells’ caddie was easily the best dressed. But this episode isn’t just about golf, there’s still plenty of fave things, anecdotes on bad hotel coffee and anxious flight attendants, as well as some A+ listener VM’s about bidets and liquid fingers to round things out. It’s a fun one, enjoy!! Thanks to our awesome sponsors for supporting this episode!  Mood: Get 20% off your first order at Mood.com/YFT with promo code YFT. Hungryroot: For a limited time get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. Go to Hungryroot.com/yft and use code yft. Happy Mammoth: For a limited time get 15% off on your entire first order at happymammoth.com and use the code YFT. Quince: Treat your closet to a little summer glow-up with Quince. Go to Quince.com/yft for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Ollie: Head to Ollie.com/YFT, tell them all about your dog, and use code YFT to get 60% off your Welcome Kit when you subscribe today! Skims: Shop SKIMS best intimates including the Fits Everybody Collection and more at SKIMS.com. Don’t forget to rate, review, and follow Your Favorite Podcast! Plus, keep up with us between episodes on our Instagram pages, @yftpodcast @wellsadams and @brandicyrus and be sure to leave us a voicemail with your fave things at 858-630-1856!  This podcast is brought to you by Podcast Nation.

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Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. What up, YFT-ers? How we do? Okay, so here's the rub. The house next door is finally getting built. They knocked it down like a year and a half ago. And good news, finally getting built because there knocked it down like a year and a half ago. And good news, finally getting built because there was this empty lot next to us

and people were, we got robbed because they were able to get in through that extra lot and then come over the side of the fence. It's good that this is happening. The bad thing that's happening is that they've got more chainsaws out there than a forestry service in the Pacific Northwest. All right, they are chopping down cherry trees

like their name is General George Washington. Was it George Washington cut down a cherry tree or was that Abraham Lincoln? I don't know. Anyway, so if you do hear some, ah, and then, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop That was really tall like over 100 feet tall and I'm like is that even legal? I thought I really care they did cut down a Olive tree that would always just shit olives all over the side of the house as sad as I am for Them getting rid of that all of chicks was beautiful and it was old and it was it was very fruitful

you know, but what happened is it all the olives would fall on our side of the fence and the dogs would eat them and Then their shits would be purple. And I didn't, I had to look up like is this dangerous for dogs and apparently it's not but they ate a lot of those olives so and if they were dangerous for dogs well it never killed any of them you know so I'll go down that front. I am a little groggy because I finally got back home because I finally got back home last night. I have been gone from my house for 67 days. Leave everything. I'm a homebody, all right?

I'm a man of routine, okay? And I've been out of my routine for well over two months. And I miss my house and I'm so glad to be back. Oh, sleeping in my bed last night? Oh, is there nothing better than coming home from a long trip and getting in your nice clean cool bed? I say nay sir. Oh The creature comforts of your own home anyways, but that way too long. Okay, so I'm gonna go I'll go through my Last two months two and a half months. So I leave LA in like

mid April. I went to New York, stayed with Sarah for a couple days, then flew to Scotland to play with Chris Harrison in at St. Andrews, which was amazing. This isn't me complaining. This is just me telling you where I've been, what's been going on like the whole the whole scope of it all. I go to St. Andrews, play golf with him and Andy Firestone, fly back. I'm in New York for like a week and a half, maybe like a week.

I don't really know. Then fly to Costa Rica. We filmed Paradise for an entire month. I then get on a plane in Costa Rica, go to French Lick, Indiana, where I meet up with Ben and Dean and Joey and Zach Clark and Grocery Store Joe. And we all played in this big golf tournament, which is so much fun. And I go back to New York,

then I'm just living in New York. You remember this to do starting to get to me. I was starting to feel it like bleeding into me. I leave New York, went to Portland, Maine, and played in the golf tournament, which we will get to in a second. Played in that golf tournament, had a blast, and then got on a plane and flew back

to Los Angeles yesterday. And let me just tell you, way too long to be gone. Way too long. Time for me to go home, okay? So now I'm back here and lo and behold, once I get back here, what's happening? Massive construction work next door. I was gone for two, over two months

and you guys could have started it then. No one would have ever complained, but now I'm gonna be a big complainer. No, I won't. I won't complain, what am I gonna say? But still annoyed and that's where we are right now. So yeah, home, one of my favorite things. Home, it's where I want to be.

Lift me up and turn me around. Talking heads. Okay, so bad news. Brandi will not be joining us on the show today. She's not feeling too well. So I said, listen, I can do this show by myself. All right, and if I can't, then it'll just be a short one. And then that's fine too, all right?

Cause let's be fair, she's not gonna hear this, so it's not gonna offend her. It's not like she's usually bringing a lot of fave things to show anyways, usually it's your boy. Is it nice to have some say, hey this is my favorite thing to and they go, ooh I want to see that or ooh that sounds good or ooh that's stupid Wells. Yes. But will we be able to brave on without her? Absolutely. Alright. I mean the show should be called Wells will say different things with Brandy making fun of Wells. But I digress.

Should we start the show? Let's start the show. Let's do that really quickly. Well first we'll do a ping pong boom. Bing ding ding ding ding. Oh, I can still do the sound here. I'm back at my boar. I forgot.

What do you say? Should we call the Welles? Let's call the Welles-eye. Let's call him up. He is coming. Let's call him up. Oh, he's already here because he's the one doing it. Okay. Bros and hoes, you're listening

to your favorite thing podcast with, I'm gonna go find an old part where she says, Wells and Brandy, and then just cut out the Brandy part. Okay. I got a couple of favorite things actually, but from this past week, I went to Portland, Maine. And can I just say, shout out to Portland, Maine. What an absolutely beautiful little city that is.

I mean, I'd heard of it before, but I think it gets overshadowed by the other Portland on the other side of the country, you know, the Oregon one. But this one is lovely. The food there, fantastic lobster rolls to die for. There's a little college there, so there's a lot of youth and vibrance, you know, vivaciousness, if you will. It's a lovely little town. Zero complaints, very walkable.

You got the port or the wharf, you know, right there. The seafood is so fresh. There's a restaurant called Scales there, which is fantastic. There's another one called Four Street, which is fantastic. I forget the name of the place we got lobster rolls, but they were, it was like right there on the wharf. You can't miss it. It was great. I played in a golf tournament called Drive for Kids, brought to you by the one,

the only Patrick Dempsey, you know, Dr. McDreamy. Effectively, it was just like a bunch of celebrities playing for a good cause. Drive for Kids is for pediatric, I think cancer research. I think it's very similar to like kind of like what St. Jude does and the Barbara Bush Hospital. It's a great cause and it's so much fun. And let's just go through some of the stars that were there. Ronde Barber, he was a football player. Jerome Bettis, the bus running back for the Steelers. Rex Burkhead, he was running back for the New England Patriots.

I hung out with him a bunch, he's awesome. Vince Carter, you know, NBA all-star, 22 year NBA veteran. He has that classic freaking dunk in the dunk contest where he just like put his whole arm inside the freaking net, which is ridiculous. Our friend and really good tennis player, Marty Fish was there, Carly Chenkin was there, she's in like Mr. Robot.

Of course, Joey Grazade. You know him from losing golf, losing golf tournaments to me. Ben Higgins, you know him from sometimes winning, but mostly losing golf to me. Brian Hoyer, he was a quarterback. Derrick Lowe, World Series champion. Michael Peña, actor and ant man and a million other things.

Sterling Sharp, Taylor Twelman. I mean, it was a jam-packed list of, well, let's just be honest. They were just kind of like all athletes, really. And then like a bunch of reality TV idiots. So it was a two-day tournament. We played a game called Stableford, okay? And that is, you derive your score through points

of what you score each round. So if you score a par, you get one point. If you make a birdie, you get three points. If you make an eagle, you get five points. If you make a bogey, it's zero points. And if you make a double bogey, it's negative two points. And it's capped at double bogey is the most negative you can go.

The highest point total wins, right? We played at this lovely golf course called Falmouth Country Club. It's just a little bit outside of Portland, like 20 minutes. And Joey, Ben, and myself were all paired together in the final round of the first day. So we had a camera crew that was following us. I think we're gonna probably make some sort of video from it.

And so we had a bet where it was like, okay, so whoever wins, they were only following us for nine holes. So it was like, whoever wins this nine hole match right here, one, they have to pay $300 to the charity, right? Or whoever loses, like the worst player has to pay $300 to the charity. And then winner take also, each of, whoever,

the two people who lost to the lowest score or technically the highest amount of points in Stableford would end up paying that person $100. So we had this bet, right? Now, statistically speaking, my handicap is the best of the three of us. So technically I should win, but that's just how golf goes, okay?

So we go out there and I might've played the worst golf of my entire life. Oh, and so by the way, Dean was my caddy and Dean went all freaking out. This is one of my favorite things. Dean went online to Amazon and bought like one of the caddy jumper outfits that you have to wear at the Masters. Got my name laminated on the back.

He got my favorite number on his chest plate. He was wearing this cool, crazy hat. He was the best dressed person there and it wasn't even close. Every player, every caddy was so jealous of my caddy. And by the way, Dean did an absolutely fantastic job. But Dean, after the round said, that was the worst golf golf I've ever seen you play. And I played a lot of golf with him. So we go out there and I just play terribly. Yeah. I think Dean was right. It was like some of the worst golf I've ever played

my entire life. And of course we're filming the entire thing. And so I get my butt mopped. I fought so hard to score zero points because remember double bogeys worth negative two, right? And bogeys worth nothing. I fought back with birdie par at the end to get back to zero points. Okay, I am exactly where I started. Joey played pretty well. He made three points that day. Ben Higgins played fantastic. He made six points that day. So I lose.

I am the big loser. I had to pay $300 to the charity. I had to pay them, I had to pay Ben $100 because he was the big winner. And I lost on camera, which was just so devastating. So then we all go out that night, right? And I'm a little down on my luck. You know, I'm feeling, I'm feeling a little blue. So we go to out that night, right? And I'm a little down on my luck, you know, I'm feeling a little blue.

So we go to this rooftop bar, right? We're all sitting around, it's a bunch of athletes and we're kind of shooting the shit and Ben brings up this thing of like, I need you to play better because I've beaten you in the last like three rounds we played or something like that. And I'm like, the math doesn't really math

because I beat you a bunch in Indiana, but whatever. I hear what you're saying. This is not how a champion talks, all right? A champion stays quiet and lets his play do the work. I said, all right, we'll see tomorrow. I'm like way behind the eight ball. I'm just trying to get, I'm just trying to move up the leaderboard, all right?

So already three points down to Joey and I was six points down to Ben. So we get out there the next morning. Terrible sleep I had. I slept about three hours. I thought this is not a great start, but here we are. We tee off. I had a great tee shot.

First tee shot. Little seven wood at the bunker. About 240. I got about a buck 20 in. Little gap wedge. Pin high. Easy birdie putt. I miss it.

That's all right, made par. Second hole, par three, easy birdie putt. I miss it. That's all right, made par. Second hole, par three, water on the right. I hit this nice little butter cut in about 15 feet, birdie putt, miss it. It's all right, another par. Next hole, pound driver right down the center.

Put the ball on the green, birdie putt, miss it, it's okay, make par. I just start playing steady, eddy, golf. Joey is blowing up, he is bogey, double bogey, double bogey, double bogey, it's going, he's going the wrong way. All of a sudden, I got more points than Joey. Joey's out of it, all right?

But Ben's playing great. We both shoot 38 on the front, okay? So don't make up a whole lot of ground on him on the front, even though I played really, really well. He also made a birdie, which is a lot more points. He then started to slip a little bit and that's when I took the opportunity to whoop some ass. On 11 I saw I had 10 points Ben at 13. I said I'm only three points behind. I turned to Dean I say I think we might catch him and he was like I know I've been noticing him because I was trying not to watch the leaderboard,

but I was like, you know what? I think we might catch him. Now we get to a par five. I hit a terrible drive, like topped it 40 yards. Ben puts one out of bounds, has to re-tee. All right, let's just play steady at E-Golf Wells. Pull out my seven wood, chunk it maybe 130 yards. Pull out seven wood again, I've got 250 uphill into the fan.

Can't make it to the green really, but I pound it to a nice little landing area about 30 yards short. Little bump and run, little 50 sixer, if you know what I'm talking about. Leave me about 10 feet slippery downhill for my par. Your boy makes it. Now Ben doubles all of a sudden.

That's a big that's a big three point swing right there. And that's when I took the lead. Dean started chirping. I said, Dean, we got to act like we've been here before. Zip it. But once I took the lead, there was no turning back. They were all defeated literally and emotionally, morally. And that's the tale of me coming back from the dead like Lazarus. That's right. I am a phoenix rising from the ashes.

You can't count me out, never when it comes to golf, all right? I'm too good. Now was I terrible in the beginning? Yes. But will I fight like a starving dog with a bone? Yes. Never count me out. Ben was, you know, he was very lovely. He was very lovely in defeat. He was, but I knew deep down there was a fire burning inside of that man

that couldn't be quenched by any water. Only the power of a dirty martini, which is Ben's drink, could quench that fire. And I walked out victorious. Everyone wrote me off, just like my career, just like my life. No one believed in me, but you know who did? This guy right here.

And that's what I'd say to you. Anytime you feel like you're behind the eight ball, that you're down and out, that you can't do it, just remember the story of the one time Wells played in this Stableford tournament in Maine, where everyone, and by everyone I meant Maybe four people thought there's no way this guy can come back, but you know what he did he did Hey guys, if your dog could talk they'd beg for Ollie the full-body tail wag

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get 60% off your first box. Do it. All right. I know some of the YFT-ers have been eyeing the merch that I'm selling at the Sphere. Walsby, have you seen my cute merch? Yes. Lies. I'll get you a T-shirt Well, have you seen my cute merch? Yes. Lies. I'll get you a t-shirt. My favorite item in my merch set is this really cute tank top

that says Giddy Up on the front. The only thing about it is you can't wear just any bra with this tank top. You guys, I have the bra for you, not just for this tank top, but it is my go-to bra for literally everything right now. Of course, it's skims. You guys know I love skims. And it is my go-to bra for literally everything right now. Of course, it's Skims. You guys know I love Skims and it is so hot outside. Wearing a bra just is so icky.

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after you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you select podcasts and the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. To all my haters out there, I just. I just need you to shut the fuck up cause nobody asked you bitch. I need you to shut the fuck up bitch.

Shut the fuck up bitch. Shut, shut the fuck up bitch. Shut the fuck up bitch. Bound, bound, down, da, bum, bum, bum. That's right. That's right. I fucking won. He has to live with this forever.

He's gonna live with this forever. It's gonna kill him probably. So yeah, I feel pretty good about it. And the next time I have to play him, it's in September at the Who Cup. So I'll give you a recap there. But anyways, I know that was much more golf talk than you really wanted, but I gotta get it off my chest.

I had to tell somebody. But the real MVP was Dean Unglert, or now Dean Bell. Carried that back like a champ. He was amazing. He left two cans of Zins on my pillows, like little hotel mints. I'm a sweet boy. I ended up 13th, 13th place. Marty Fish won with this is so funny. This is how much better

some people are than than us and I'm a pretty good player. Marty Fish got 43 points. Okay, he was first place. I was 13th place. I had 13 points. Ben Higgins came in with 12 and Joey Grazade with three. So that wasn't great. But Joey was 16th place. So not too bad. Ben was 14th place, which is one worse than me, which is the only thing that really matters. And yeah, so much fun.

I love that stuff. Anyways, it's a great charity. If you are ever up in Maine, may I suggest going to Portland? It is fantastic, especially in the summertime. It was lovely. All right, wanna talk some Pave Things, bro? Satsang with Thaddeus!

Satsang with Thaddeus! First of all, I am still loving Department Q, and if you haven't started watching that, just please, just figure it out. Just go do it, all right? You gotta do it. I watch two new shows that I think you'll like them. I feel like right now

with television, it's either the most amazing cinematic and amazing directing and writing, like all alike Ozark or like this Department Q or it's like bad writing with like kind of bad acting but like fun premises. I would say this, for these two I'm gonna say, I just wasn't blown away by the acting, but it's a fun journey to go on. So the first one is on Netflix, it's called The Survivors. Secrets don't die with the dead.

The Survivors, a Netflix series. 15 years ago, a storm devastated the coastal town of Evelyn Bay and took out three young people. Kieran's older brother Finn, and Maya's best friend Gabby, and Finn's friend Toby. Burdened by guilt, Kieran and Mia escaped the survivors on Netflix. So this is an Australian show, I guess? So maybe that's why I think the acting's not super great, but it's a fun premise. So this guy, Kiernan, he's got survivor's guilt. They were all like swimming in this cave at late at night

on a dark and stormy evening in Australia, and a bunch of people drowned, and he's kind of like the only survivor, and he feels bad and his mom is so angry at him because his brother's dead and like the town hates him because all these people died and all this stuff. So he kind of left, which is understandable, but he comes back because his father's got dementia and I think he wants to introduce his father to his daughter, ended up marrying this Mia girl who also grew up in that town and was friends with one of the people that died and then when they get there

There's a girl that didn't grow up with them, but it's like they're working as a as a bartender but she's also doing a documentary about the deaths and like what happened and everything and in the first episode She is murdered on the beach and who did it? It's a whodunit. It's very fun. Sometimes, like, I don't know about the writing or the acting, I don't know, you know, and it's still, like, top tier.

But if you love a good old whodunit, The Survivors on Netflix. Pretty good. Do you guys remember that show Bloodline? We talked about it a lot when it was coming out. It was the guy from Friday Night Lights, Kyle Chandler. The cast was crazy good.

Kyle Chandler, Linda Cardinelli, John Leguizamo, Bo Bridges, Chloe Sauvignon, Ben Mendelson, who's been like everything since then. And it was kind of like about this like rich family that like lives in the Cape or whatever, and you know kinds of nefarious things are going on yada yada yada it was so good anyways there is a new show that is so very much the same exact show i feel like on netflix that i've been that i started watching on the plane yesterday it's called the waterfront from the creators of dawson's creek there's blood in the water the The Waterfront, a Netflix series. As their storied North Carolina fishing empire decays, the damaged Buckleys grapple to

revive their imperiled maritime heritage. The Waterfront, starring Holt McElhaney, Melissa Benoist. She was Supergirl. Jake Weary and Maria Bello. She was the owner of the Coyote Ugly in that movie. The patriarch, Harlan Buckley, has turned over the keys to his son to run the business. Kane Buckley, they're so behind in bills and notes and they're upside down, so Kane starts running some drugs and right in the beginning of the show, someone comes and robs their drug shipment on a boat and kills a bunch of people and now they're on the back foot and Harlan Buckley didn't know all about this and now he finds out and he's like, okay

I gotta fix this and Bell Buckley who's the mother is kind of like behind it as well and then Bree Buckley is the sister who basically is like trying to take down her brother Cain because I don't know why. I'm pretty sure this is an allegory for the Cain and Abel story in the old Bible. But yeah, it's fun, dangerous. There's drugs, there's sexiness, there's boats, you know?

And the Bible, I think, I'm not sure. So I'm into it. I'm gonna keep watching it. You should check it sure. So I'm into it. I'm gonna keep watching it. You should check it out. Check shit out, man. Adiig. But again, like, I'm watching it and I'm like, I don't know if the acting is good or is it the writing that's bad? Something is not quite right about it. Oh, I have at least heard a thing. Hey, American hotels, why do you think that what we want to drink in the morning are espressos?

Okay? These little nespresso machines that you've got in hotel rooms, that's not what we drink here, alright? What are we in? Saint Tropez? Are we in Italy? Are we in Spain? Are we in Portugal? Are we in France?

No, we're in America. And in America, we drink American drip coffee. Okay? Give me a K cup anytime, but these little Nespresso things, I swear to Christ, I gotta press the big, the big cup seven times before I get a half a cup of coffee. Put in a mug and put it in one of the little pods

and then press the big cup and then the Nespresso machine. Guess how much liquid I got? I got about a finger's worth. You're giving me a double shot of espresso. That's not what I need. I need a cup of coffee. Now, if I was in France, I'd be fine with it, okay? If I was in Gay Paris, I would be cool, okay?

But I'm not, I'm in Portland, Maine. Okay, guys, need more coffee, all right? Also hung over. This shot of espresso ain't gonna do nothing for me. I need a big old cup of Joe. God, I see those machines and I'm like, stop thinking that we wanna buy into your pretension because we don't.

We're blue collar Americans and we like our coffee with too much water in it, I guess. I will have an espresso, sometimes after dinner where I'm like, I'm so tired. Or if you go to like have like one of those late lunches and you get a little tired, you know, that's great. But it's not tasty.

It's like you're eating charcoal. It's so aggressive. Even if you put in some sugar, it's more of it's like, I gotta do this to like survive the rest of the day. But coffee's lovely and delicious. And I want to savor it for an hour or so. Oh my God, I had this amazing interaction with a steward on my flight home from Philly. I was sitting in the exit row, and it was in a new plane on American.

So I'm sitting in the exit row, and I'm by the window, and all the window shades are drawn, right? And the steward comes up to me and he's like, hey, can you put the window down? It was closed, right? So I look at the window and I look at him and I'm like, what? And he goes, can you put the window down?

And I'm like, put the window down. And he's like, yeah, can you put the window down? We need to be able to see the wing. And I was like, oh. And then I realized because the latch to open the door for the exit, the emergency exit on the plane is open the door for the exit, the emergency exit on the plane is above the window, right? That's the only window that slides down to open

and slides up to close. But every other plane I've ever been on sliding down the window is how you close it. So when he said, hey, put the window down, I was like, but it is down. What are you talking about? So he was like, yeah, we just need to see it before we take off. And I'm like, the wing and I'm like, oh yeah, sorry, when you said down, I thought I was like, it is that, you know, and he was like, yeah, no,

it's fine. And so I was like, what you really should say is can you open the window, you know, that would have made more sense for anyone who was also I'm not like a new newbie traveler, you know, like this is a new plane. And normally they all go down anyway. So that... Also, I'm not like a newbie traveler, you know? Like this is a new plane and normally they all go down. Anyway, so that happens and I'm like, yeah, sure, whatever, and I fix it. Now I'm looking across the way and it's hot in there. We're in there for a while, right? We were like kind of like taxing for a while.

And so, you know, when you're just kind of stuck there, you're not getting the airflow that you need. So everyone kind of puts the window shades down. And so across the aisle from me, the guy who's like in my seat, but on the left side has put the window well up, but down, you know, I'm saying closed it. I was like, OK, so he closed it. So I'm going to close it. So I so I close it.

And then the guy comes back and goes, hey, you need to have the window open so we can see the wing during takeoff. And I'm like, OK, yeah, but he closed. OK, fine. Sorry. My bad. My bad. So like another 10 minutes, 15 minutes go by and then they come on the speaker, you know, the. Hi everyone, this is your captain speaking. We're sitting on the tarmac for a while and it's a bit toasty here in Philadelphia.

So if you could, would you close all the windows and open the vents completely open so we can get the most amount of airflow as humanly possible? That would be great, thank you so much. So I hear this and I'm like, okay, so then I close the window again, right? Like I'm just going along with what everyone's saying. This guy comes back again and he goes, hey, you gotta keep the window open. And I was like, okay, my guy, it was just announced that we all need to close the window. And I'm just, I'm a sheep, all right?

I'm just following the leader. I'm just doing what I'm told. And he was like, yeah, but you need to keep it open because we need to see the thing. And I said, well, okay, you know what? You didn't say that, all right? You said everyone close the windows so it doesn't get too hot in here, okay?

I mean, I didn't really get angry with him but I was like, dude you just said it, you know? And he was like, I know but we really need to see the wing. And then I was like, okay I promise I will not close the window for the entire flight. And he goes, no no no no no once you get up there you can do that. And I'm like okay fine. And then I did because I wanted to sleep a little bit because I didn't get any sleep the night before. Anyways, so that was like my little cruffuffle, my little debacle on the plane, which was funny. He was a lovely guy.

You know, he was wearing an ascot, and I love that. I think we should bring ascots back. Not for me, no. Not for my sensibilities and my fashion, but you know what, for him, he looked great. You know, fantastic. Zero notes, no complaints, looked great. All right, YF2Ears, I don't know about you guys,

but for me, I feel like when I'm shopping, things have just gotten so freaking expensive. So when I want new clothes, it's really hard to justify like going out there and spending all this money just to get some quality pieces. Then I discovered Quince. If you guys are not familiar with Quince, they are an online

store that offers great quality pieces at a fraction of the price. Recently, they launched some European linen pieces. I got the linen shorts and actually a dress also. Such a good price point, but the quality is incredible. I also have a ton of other items from Quince that I'm obsessed with including luggage, home decor, I think I have sheets, they've got everything you could want. Give your summer closet and upgrade with quince go to quince.com slash yft for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince q u i n c e.com slash yft to get free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash yft. Alright guys, everyone has something going on

these days. I call this the busy season. I don't have a lot of time to go grocery shopping right now. Let me well I've been in paradise for a while. But when I'm back in New York with Sarah, like shopping is such a pain in the bucks, you got to lug all the groceries up a walk up and that's why I use hungry root. Hungry roots like having your own personal shopper and nutritionists all wrapped up into one they take care of the weekly grocery shopping, recommending healthy

groceries and meals tailored to your taste, nutritional preferences and health goals. They make it super easy to eat high quality nutritious food and achieve any diet or health goals from anti inflammatory to gut friendly to gluten free or dairy free. They got high protein and so much more shopping planning and cooking food really can be simple and stress free. Just tell them all about your goals and your preferences and they fill out your cart with personalized recommendations that get smarter as they learn more about what you like and what you don't like.

I love hungry root wells loves hungry root. So take advantage of this exclusive offer for a limited time get 40% off your first box plus get a free item in every box for life. Go to hunger root.com slash yft and use code yft. That's hungeroot.com slash yft, code yft to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. hungeroot.com slash yft, code yft. I got sent this by a YFT-er

and yeah, Krista Pierce sent me this, shout out to you. This is for Dirty Grandpa. By the way, I met so many YFTers at the tournament and everyone, okay, and by so many YFTers, I mean like one or two, was like, I love Dirty Grandpa. And I'm like, thank you. And this is the perfect time to do Dirty Grandpa because Brandy's not here.

But actually part of the fun of doing Dirty Grandpa is that she doesn't like Dirty Grandpa and that's what's funny about it, but I digress. So yeah, I was sent this and this is just a like Dirty Grandpa, and that's what's funny about it, but I digress. So yeah, I was sent this, and this is just a perfect Dirty Grandpa thing. Good evening, everybody. It's me, Dirty Grandpa, back on the YFT program. I have been boycotted from Brantitha.

She doesn't appreciate my humor or my silky sweet voice. This Dirty Grandpa excerpt comes from Krista Pierce by Eric Hayes. Do not, and I repeat, do not use this vibrating condom. I wanted to try something new last night so I bought these vibrating condoms. In my day we called them Provolactics but I digress. I put this condom on and hit the button and as soon as I entered her vagina and made it three down strokes, my whole body started to shake. I started to pull out, and she reached up and grabbed my butt and pulled me deeper inside

so that I wouldn't be able to move. She then wrapped her legs around my body and locked me so I couldn't pull out. After four more down strokes I had the hardest orgasm ever. It was so intense that I screamed like a woman. Immediately after I bust mine she came right after me and scratched the head out of my back. And it kind of bit my neck a little too hard. bust mine, she came right after me and scratched the head out of my back and it kind of bit my neck a little too hard. She wouldn't let go and that condom kept

vibrating. And I got hard again within a minute or so and I down stroked for about 40 more seconds and then boom! I busted another one. So did she. I forced myself from between her legs because she held me so tight and took the damn vibrating condom off. That condom is the devil. Don't mess with it. I'm warning you.

You all. Better listen. Do not. And I repeat, do not use this vibrating condom. That was pretty great. We haven't done voicemails in a while, so I thought I'd play a couple for you guys and see what you guys are into, you know? All right, so this one's called a bidets for everyone, which I couldn't agree with more. Hey, I am so excited to call if I had one podcast each week I

could listen to it would always be yours. I love both of you. You're amazing. Thanks. I just wanted to brag on something we have in Missouri. Okay, we have that brothers gas stations who has an amazing marketing plan. The ladies bathrooms have the days in them. So you can go and have a heated foot seat, get washed and dried and enjoy your experience in a clean bathroom. Like how smart is that? So just want to tell you all about that in case you're visiting. There's a few locations, unfortunately, which we had more. But my favorite thing this week is that new show with Jeffrey Dean Morgan as a host, the Destination X, a group of people don't know where they're at. And they

get these clues and try to figure out where they're at. And then they go in the math room and mark the location and whoever's the first to go home. Great fun show. I think you all would really enjoy it. Let me know what you think. Have a great week. Love ya. Bye.

So we have converted more people into loving bidets, which is very fun. And yeah, Destination X, I've seen that. I think that pilot Pete's on it, which is cool. All right. Appreciate that. Oh, this is entitled Paradise Assassin. And if you don't remember this, when I was in Paradise, we were playing this game called Paradise Assassins. And it was the most fun I've ever

had on a set without actually like filming anything. Let's see what they have to say. Hi, my name is Paige and I have a request for Wells. The people want to know how Assassin in Paradise ended up for you. I also have a couple of favorite things. First, Lessons in Chemistry, great book. Also a mini series on Apple TV Plus starring Brie Larson. Another book, Remarkably Bright Creatures, is getting made into a movie on Netflix. For Wells, the audiobook, I know you're an audio book person. I've heard great things about the person who voiced the octopus and I actually think

he did some time on Modern Family with Sarah. So yeah, love you guys. Love the show. See you later. Okay. I'll check into that. Lessons in Chemistry. In the 1950s, Elizabeth Zot's dream of being a scientist is challenged by a society that says women belong in the domestic sphere. She accepts a job on a TV cooking show and sets out to teach a nation of housewives way more than recipes. Lessons in chemistry.

Okay, that sounds cool. Assassins in Paradise. I can tell you what happened. So I ended up, what like our oldest like audio guys, not oldest in age, like I've just known him forever. He's just been there forever. His name is Tim Puzo. He's awesome. He's like a badass surfer. He likes to play golf. He's just a good hang and actually fun side note, his grandfather's the guy who wrote The Godfather, which is so cool. He was my first target and I'll tell you how I got him. It was after I think it was after a rose ceremony. No, no,

it was after like a long it was a long date. Yeah, yeah, we had this long long date and that I was like kind of a part of. I came back and I just got demiked and I was about to walk up to my room and I saw Puzo. I saw Puzo go into the bathroom. At that point I was talking to Hannah and Hannah knew I was playing Assassins in Paradise and she was like, how do you get Puzo? My thought always to get Puzo was I was gonna turn my mic off and go into a scene

and go start filming and then he would have to come and get me and like fix my mic, you know? Like that happens all the time on set. That was my plan. But then all of a sudden I saw him go into the bathroom and like, oh my God, he's went into that happens all the time on set. That was my plan. But then all of a sudden I saw him going to the bathroom and like, oh my God, he's going to the bathroom. And I was like, I gotta go. So I pulled out my plastic knife and I ran in there

and he was washing his hands and I killed him. And he was like, no, not you. And I was like, I'm so sorry, because I love Puzo so much. But then he was like, wait, is it legal to kill in the bathroom? Because there was all these places you couldn't kill. And I was like, yes, I'm legal to kill in the bathroom? Cause there was all these places you couldn't kill. And I was like, yes, I'm pretty sure murdering in the bathroom is okay.

So I killed him, which was great. And then the next day I went out and I was laying out by the pool cause I didn't have to like work for a while. And I was with like two other crew members and I'm sitting there, this other audio tech that is lovely runs up behind me. I'm laying out in the pool and I was in kind of

a vulnerable position, but I wasn't though and because I knew I wasn't and I'll tell you why in a second. So she comes up behind me and stabs me and I'm like, oh no, but one of the rules is you can't murder in front of other people playing the game. Doesn't count. She's like, why not? And I was like, because both of them are playing right now.

And they're like, yeah, we saw that. You can't, that doesn't count. So then I knew who my murderer was. So then I was like, all right, I'm gonna be fine. Not remembering that someone is gonna try to murder her. And then when they murder her, then they're gonna be coming after me. But I assumed that I was safe

and I was just gonna like always just be wary of this person. Now the person I had to go kill, she was like the onset photographer. So like for all the pictures that we take there, like I just posted one recently of Uncle and the Beast, and so she's that person, right? And I was like, this is amazing. This is gonna be like shooting fish in a barrel,

but the photographer that has to take pictures of me? You gotta be kidding me. So I get pulled out to go take photos. This is when I knew I was in a little bit of trouble. One of like the producers comes and gets me and she's like, hey, we need you out on the floor, or the bar or whatever, to take some pictures for ABC. Perfect, this is my opportunity.

So I get out there and so the photographer's like, hey, where do you wanna take your pictures? And I was like, you know, and this was kinda true, but maybe I showed my hand a little too much, but I was like, you know, there's this really cool island that is out there on the beach, and I would like to get a picture where the island is in the background.

I think that would be really cool. And she's like, yeah, that's actually a really good idea. We're like, okay, great. Now, why I was doing that, because I wanted to get her away from everyone, because there was a bunch of crew members that were milling about and setting things up that would have seen it,

and so I couldn't have just murdered her there, so I wanted to get her away. So we start walking there and she goes, wait a second. And I'm like, what? And she was like, you're gonna try to kill me, aren't you? I'm like, no, I just want to get pictures. And she was like, no, you're trying to kill me. And I was like, first of all,

you're the one who asked me to come out here. And she goes, I didn't ask you to come out here. They told me that you wanted to take pictures. At that moment, I knew that I was being hunted by someone else, okay? Because why did they lie me that you wanted to take pictures. At that moment, I knew that I was being hunted by someone else, okay? Because why did they lie about that? So anyway, she was smart enough to realize that I was trying to draw a trap,

but I'm like, I'm not, I promise you, I was told to come out here. It was the next day, they were all doing like a date or something, and I went for my run. So I came down, remember I said goodbye to Hannah because she was leaving early, leaving the show early. I walk out and I walk out out like to the left. And I'm stretching to get ready for my run. And all of a sudden out of

the blue, someone comes and stabs me. And that's how I ended my run. So I only got one kill. The best thing is, is that the the winner ended up getting the final kill at the airport. And once it gets down to like three people, all the no more rules apply. You can kill anywhere and whatever, no one's safe. It was the most fun ever. Dude, Assassins in Paradise, highly, highly recommend.

Let's do one more call. This one's called Liquid Fingers. It's a dirty grumble, be a part of this one. Hi, Wells and Brandy. It's you from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Mm-hmm. Should dirty grandpa be a part of this one? Hi, Wells and Brandy. Yup. It's Jill from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Good job. I was just calling because I was listening to another podcast.

Gross. And they were talking about it. I guess that's like a question, a philosophical question. Okay. If you could dispense five different liquids out of your fingers, what liquids would they be? Yeah. And why? Okay, I think the first liquid would be will have to be water. Right? Like you've you always you could never go thirsty,

right? And you could always help. I mean, you could just go to like the Sudan or something. Just go to a place that like just needs water and be like, I'm here guys, I'm safe here. Second liquid, I think would be wine, water, wine. I'm Jesus now. I think that would be a nice little parlor trick and everyone would probably enjoy that.

Third liquid, blood. I mean, I guess my fingers can actually do that. But if you could have blood coming out that didn't affect like the blood that was in my body, then you'll be pretty good for like blood drives and stuff, right? People need blood, platelets and all that kind of stuff. Fourth one, soda water.

I love that. Just LaCroix out of my fricking fingers. Be the best. And then maybe beer or bourbon. So yeah, there you go. I don't know. Well, let's end it on this one. We're all gonna die. Hi, welcome, Brandy.

My name is Emily. I was her from the great state of Ohio. I was calling with actually a movie recommendation that my fiance and I went and saw recently. It's an independent film. It's prepared at South by Southwest. be recommended that my fiance and I went and saw recently. Okay. Independent film. It prepared at South by Southwest called We're All Gonna Die by the directors are Matt Arnold and Freddie Wong.

It's playing at like a bunch of like little local independent theaters across the US. But it's such a cute storyline. It's like a sci-fi romcom, which is like very odd when you think about it, but it's so good and it has like a road trip vibes to it. I think like a while ago you guys may have talked about the independent film Peanut Butter Falcon it was on Netflix and it has like very similar vibes to that and it just just made us feel so happy after we watched it. It was just so cute. So anyways, that's my recommendation for the pod. Love listening to you guys every week. Thanks. Oh, we love you.

In the near future, everyone's gotten used to the 10,000-mile alien tentacle that materialized in the sky, and a struggling beekeeper and a grieving wanderer must join together and take a dangerous road trip to get their teleported stuff back. We're all gonna die. Sounds good. All right. I think that's enough for today. I think we did, I think we did a pretty good solo show.

I'm glad someone called and asked about the the Assassin's Paradise, Assassin's in Paradise, because that actually was pretty interesting. And I have the pictures of every murder because you had to send them. And the last murder is very funny because it's like the guy like laying laying over his like big pile of bags. So good.

Hopefully Brandi feels better next week. And yeah, I love you guys. It just feels so weird to do this show without music. So let's just, just hope that they don't flag us for this. All right, YFTears, we love ya. Love doing the voicemails. Also, especially like we don't have a lot of favorite things. It makes us be able to finish the show out.

So 858-630-1856 is the number. Please call us and do that bizness. All right, YFTAIRS, be good. We love ya and we'll see you next time or another time. Laters on the mention. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.