Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Don’t Drink & Drone

Episode Date: June 26, 2019

This week on YFT, Wells is back from Paradise and he has some serious (but mysterious) thoughts on Brandi’s hopeful prediction that Pilot Pete is either going to win The Bachelorette or be the next Bachelor, and will not stop stressing that this season of BIP will be the craziest they’ve ever had. Brandi, on the other hand, is back in coach en route to Copenhagen with Olivia, and is super pumped by the recent surge she’s seen in female pilots, which Wells quickly ruins with his renaming of the cock pit (yes, it is exactly what you are thinking). The hosts also hash it out over which eyebrow trend is the most SuhDumb, what the worst thing to add to one’s IG bio is, and who the most racist family member in Luke P’s family probably is (that last one has no grounding in realty but usually assumptions are spot-on). We also learn what drugs make you the grossest, why Wells doesn’t feel fit to wear eye masks, what Brandi and Bruce Springsteen have in common. And of course, there are lots of fave things for you as per usual. Enjoy! Thanks to our super awesome sponsors. Supporting them helps us keep bringing you this show every week. Check them out! HONEY - Sign up for Honey for free to save money on all your fave ecommerce sites – go to JoinHoney.com/YFT OPEN FIT - Get a free 30-day trial of OpenFit by texting YFT to 303030 SMILE DIRECT CLUB - Go to SmileDirectClub.com/podcast and use offer code YFT150 for $150 your order

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print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code your favorite thing to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code your favorite thing. Do it. I feel like you have it on blur background. I know. Bl blurring everything but your shoulder unblur my background oh there you are crystal clear okay paradise tan looking nice do i do i look tan you do do you feel tan did you wear sunscreen i mean i did and i didn't, you know? So you didn't. I mean, some days I did.

I mean, and then some days I did. At some point, I just get so dark that it just doesn't matter. Must be freaking nice. Yeah, I got that Portuguese skin. So, but I'm back, baby. No more paradise. Are you so happy to be home? I am.

And it's not that I don't like doing that show. It's that show sucks it out of you, man. Yeah. And you're in the heat all day. And I'm sure it's exhausting. It's the longest shoots. This year was different. In years past, it used to be like, hey, Wells, come at 11 a.m.

And then we'll get you out by eight or like hey let's come at like uh 7 p.m and we'll get you out by two in the morning this year was like i think we're only gonna do night shoots for you i think i did like four day shoots of the entire time i was there so it was only come at like 8, 8.30, which meant I really only would leave every single night around 2, 3, or 4 in the morning. So I couldn't really sleep at all. You know, like, because in Mexico,

and I'm also staying at this really beautiful villa, and it's like, you know, obviously natural light coming in the room. So like, 7 in the morning hits, and I'm like, I'm back! I'm back, baby! You gotta get an eye mask like that you sleep in like a little satin eye mask i mean aside from the fact that i feel like a huge douche and like a gigantic diva in it sarah did get me one and it's like it's like a silk one but it's too tight on my head so it lasts on there for like

i would say like 20 minutes of my sleep but like i think i'm just like a crazy sleeper and like i wake up every morning and it is so far away from my head that's insane i've worn mine the past two nights i love it one of my fave things oh wow throwing a ding for an eye mask oh it's a game changer is this the one that you got on the flight with the earplugs? Yes. I steal those because I'm always like, these are great eye masks. They really stay on well. Yeah. But someone sent me a satin one in like a gift bag recently. And it's a game changer. Oh, wow. So much softer, so much nicer. My hair is bad. It's really great. Okay. okay here for it i want to get to the point in my life where i feel comfortable in my success to wear an eye mask but i'm just not there yet

you know i have faith you'll get there you think that one day i'll get there i do i believe i don't know but anyways paradise at least done for me well Well, your boy Derek's home. I saw him yesterday. I know. And I can't comment on any of this stuff, obviously. No. But we're in for one hell of a ride, sister. What I keep hearing. It is bonkers.

Like right before I left, I did like all of my coverage or interviews and stuff. When it was over, it was like like because they have like the normal questions that they would ask me and at the end the producer was like is there anything you want to say and i was like i think this was the craziest season to date and they're like what do you mean last year there was a male model who was wearing a floral onesie, throwing a giant stuffed dog into the ocean. And that was not even close to as weird as what happened this year. Wow, that's insane. But when I think back of Jordan in that floral onesie, throwing that dog into the ocean, flopping around like a dead fish, I just... There have been some funny moments in my life but that one really got me good you know i love good old jordan oh man jordan

kimball is a riot and he's one of a kind he is truly crazy and i love him i love him to death i had forgotten about it but I was talking to him recently and I guess on someone's podcast, I was on with Chris Harrison. We were talking about, and I guess this was before the Colton decision and I was like, I think Jordan Kimball should be the bachelor.

And everyone's like, what? And I was like, just think about it, man. Like how fun would that be if that crazy person was just in, I mean, like also kudos to him, man. Like, how fun would that be if that crazy person was just in? And I mean, like, also kudos to him. Like last season, like he got super emotional. He got into this like serious relationship with Jenna. Obviously didn't work for him.

But like, I'd be here for it, man. Yeah, I'd watch it for sure. Yes. Everyone would watch it for sure. I try to think of like funny things that happened to me on the show that I could talk about. I've gone full Dean, by the way, and I've just been like droning around like crazy. I don't know if you guys noticed. I've noticed.

And to me, it seems like if I had just bought a drone, yeah, I'd be a little scared of flying it over the ocean. Because if you crash it, there goes your money down the freaking drain oh listen every time i take that bitch up in the air we're living on borrowed time sister like there's there we we know that that thing's going down by the way have you crashed it yo fuck yes i crashed it dude and here's the thing don't drink and drone that's my that is the name of this episode is don't drink and drone i one day i had like i don't know like an off day or whatever a dead day so i got pretty turnt up on some tequila and i was like i'm gonna throw my flower around and i crashed into a pole like it wasn't like i was like really high up in the air thank god it was

like five feet above the ground and there's like a pillar i zigged when i should have zagged i'll tell you what man i just didn't do it what i should have done and i hit that bitch into that pole and that thing's fucking pinwheel death into the ground and then was like upside down luckily i was smart enough to buy the uh like the kit with the extra blades and then i had to pop a few things back on there yeah i'm a drone guy now so now i'm a drone guy right big drone guy big drone guy a shout out to uh i mean i didn't even get we didn't even get one of these like sent the show, but I'm going to give them a ding. The DJI Mavic Air is the one I got. It's about the size of, I don't know, a football. Oh.

Pretty dope. Big fan? Big fan. I'm learning, you know? Yeah. So can anyone fly a drone? Is that a dumb question? Or do you have to have some kind of, like, qualification?

I think the qualification is you have to have enough money in your bank account to buy the fucking thing. But, uh... Because I think when they first came out, I think you had to be a pilot in order to fly one legally. I'm not going to lie to you. I'm pretty sure you do need that shit. And I'm not going to lie to you about this either. Don't have that.

In no way am I qualified for this thing. Right. But here we are. Here we are. Did I tell you about when I first got it and what happened? No. Where Sarah and I live, there's a couple other kind of big, bigger

named actors and actresses in the area. I won't name names. I was like in the backyard flying it around, you know. And Sarah I'm sure that you're a paparazzi. Yeah, Sarah texted me and she was like, are you flying your drone right now? And I was like, yes.

And she was like, oh, okay, cool. That actor, I guess, had called her being like, there's paparazzi everywhere. They're coming in from the sky. TMZ got a drone. They got a drone. They know where you're at. I'm just letting you know. Oh, no.

She was like, no, it's my. They've got like an inner network. They call each other when they see a camera. They're like, everyone, hurry, get inside. Hide your kids. Hide your wives. Scatter, scatter, scatter. They're coming for us.

Perez Hilton's on his way. Let me ask you something, Brandi. You ever buy something online, then you find out later you missed out on a discount? There's nothing that angers me more. Dude, right? It's the most annoying. So there's this company called Honey. It's a free browser add-on that finds you the best deals online. I've actually been using it too. It's so freaking easy. You just click install one time and then any website you shop on, it's going to automatically find whatever coupon is out there on the interwebs

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today. Anyways, you want to start the show? Oh yeah, we probably should, huh? Alright, buckle up boys and girls. You're in for 45 minutes of what is going to be the craziest fucking experience of your lives. Bros and hoes, you're listening to your favorite thing podcast with...

Wells and Brandy. So what's going on in your life, girl? I'm in New York City. Why are you in NYC? I DJed here yesterday. Yesterday? Yeah. The day before.

The day before. Wow. My days are really mixed up. All right. At this really cool spot that I'm going to give a ding to, it's called Profundo Day Club. Profundo. Profundo. It's really cool.

It's obviously like a rooftop pool situation, and it's right across the bridge in Long Island City, like Queens area, I guess. Yeah. But it's just over the bridge, so it's super close close to Manhattan and you get this insane view of the city from the pool it's really cool and they have DJs all the time it seems like everybody was having a great time the other day they have great food

I just really like if I lived here I'd hang there what's it called? Profundo Day Club by the way that sounds like a Harry Potter spell oh it does Profundo! and then all of a sudden vinnie from jersey shore starts djing that's weird profundo now go get paid and get hpv that's what happened oh god sorry that was dark i just feel like if you're at club that you're

djing there's a lot of like i would just get a lot of penicillin afterwards oh no no it was actually like really classic so it's funny they they asked me to um to not play any hip-hop or rap they only wanted like edm house style music exactly and i feel like it's so it doesn't get too turnt you know what i mean yeah they're like we want everyone to have fun but not that much fun yeah that's funny is that easy for you to do or is that tough like with your playlists? It was actually really hard for me because I usually normally play a lot of hip hop. So I spent quite a bit of time downloading like some more like EDM style music. But it worked out. Like it was actually a pretty lit set if I do say so myself.

Not going to lie to you. That sounds like my nightmare. Idiotic. I mean, the thing the thing I usually dislike about it is it's the same BPM. Yeah. The whole time house music is just you don't change. You're you're at like one twenty two to one twenty four BPM the whole ride. It's got to be easy to transition between songs, though, you know? Yeah.

Honestly, it was like the easiest day's work I've ever had in my life. Yeah. But yeah, it was good. Everyone loved it. It was nice. I got to play a little Old Town Road. Got to play a little Miley Cyrus. Like, I really represented the fam the other day.

Everyone loved it. It was great. Is that what you're doing at this point? You're just playing your family's music? Yeah. Like, every 30 minutes, I'll slide one in. Yeah. Like like at first i played uh nothing breaks like a heart yeah and then like 30 minutes later i'll slide in one of

noah's it's like technically an alan walker song which she's on it so you know you can let it slide and then and then you play old town road at like peak hour and people just freak out it's really great i can't believe that song's still jamming like that but you know what i was weeks at number one it's bonkers it broke the record right we talked about that last week did you happen to see his performance on bet awards this weekend no it's online okay you don't understand how lit this performance was like my dad freaking murdered it did he he did i mean so did little naz they killed it are they like best friends now? Oh, they love each other.

Does Lil Nas X call your dad blood is what I need to know. I don't think so. I think it's just you. Okay, good. And then we're still in there. Still good. All right, cool. You know, I was thinking about it. Like EDM music and country music are very similar, whereas country music is only the same three chords, you know?

C, G, and E, basically. And then EDM music is only the same three chords, you know? C, G, and E, basically. And then EDM music is just only... Throw your hands up! Everybody scream! Pretty much. I think that's what EDM music is. I don't know. I've never been to that.

But I don't know. That just sounds like... It just sounds like something I would go to and I would immediately start drinking heavily and then i would constantly be turning to whoever i was with and whispering in their ear about how much i hated everybody there oh yeah 100 and it's like but it's funny like people i don't really love house music it's not my thing yeah but people love it and it's like the more drunk they get the more they seem to love it yeah well it's very the more drunk they get, the more they seem to love it. Yeah.

It's very interesting. I also think it's Molly. Probably a that also. Don't do drugs, kids. Don't do that drug, because then you're just— Do all the drugs, just not that one. Just don't do that one, because you sweat so much, and you're just that guy that's just sweating in the corner, and you're like, oh, God.

Drink some water. That's horrible. It does. What else you got? How long are you in NYC for? So I leave tonight. I'm heading off to Copenhagen, Denmark. Oh, Copenhagen.

One of my good buddies did, like, study abroad there and said it's super dope. I'll give it a ding. Oh, looking forward to it. What are you doing in Copenhagen? Super dope. I'll give it a ding. Cool.

Looking forward to it. What are you doing in Copenhagen? Miley is actually playing in Denmark on Thursday. Yeah. One of those days. So I decided instead of sitting in New York for two extra days and doing nothing or spending my two days flying, I'm just going to go over to Copenhagen and explore for a couple of days since I've never been. And good old Olivia Caridi is meeting me over there today.

Wow. You're just living the life. Living the dream. L-I-V-I-N. Yeah. Well, that's cool. Yeah, I'm excited. Do you get to go over like on Miley's jet?

How does that work? So I could have. So this was my option. Because I booked this job, I could have, so that those, this was my option because I booked this job. I either could have spent, I could have either today flown all the way back to LA, but to then the next day, get on a private plane and fly with her to Denmark. But to me, I'm like, why would I fly six extra hours one, you know, there, and then another, put another six extra hours on my flight to Denmark just to fly private when i could get on a plane today and be there in eight hours and have two full days to explore first of all

love how privileged this conversation is uh i'm putting it out there no i know you're that was my option okay so here's my question why can't the bird land in freaking laguardia and scoop you up because i'm Brandy Cyrus, not Miley Cyrus. I know, but I'm just saying, like, it's your, first of all, it's still your little sister.

And you'd be like, hey, little sister, just fucking pick me up, dude. All right? I don't know. It doesn't work like that. Yes, it does. You gotta get permission

to land in New York. I'm sure it's insane they'll try to do that. It's like a whole thing. So I am gonna be sitting in coach for eight hours tonight flying over to Copenhagen so that I can explore when I could have been on a private plane. I'm pretty sure you have

to ask for permission anywhere you land. Okay. That's how planes and runways work. It's like a whole thing. You got to change the whole flight plan. I don't need people to do that for me. I'll flight coach. All right. Well, I appreciate you. You know, Brandi Cyrus is the blue-collar Cyrus, you know? It's true. I don't know how I feel about that, but it's true. She's the Bruce Springsteen of the Cyrus family, all right? She's a man of the people. She's flying coach to Copenhagen.

Yep, sure am. Olivia Caridi. That's funny. When do I get invited to like a osiris concert well i invited you to woodstock but now i don't know if it's happening yeah i don't that's not gonna happen they like keep on they keep on losing funding and stuff i know it's funny it's still on miley's calendar but i really don't think it's gonna happen yeah i don't think so either, but I would like to go. There'll be others.

When's one that's in LA? When's one where I don't have to go anywhere? Oh, wow. I see what little effort you want to put in here. Well, you know what? Unless the PJ wants to scoop me up in Burbank and take me to Copenhagen. The fact that you're bougier than I am is insane. Listen, you're the Bruce Springsteen of this group.

Okay? Let me be Elton. Okay. You can have that. I'm trying to look at Miley's calendar right now. I honestly don't think she has an LA date until tour, which is not until next year. Oh, you know what?

What? Are you going to go to iHeartFest this year? I don't know. Maybe. Probably. Finally, it's platforming. Oh, okay. Well. So you can do that. That's always in September.

Yeah, September. So yeah, maybe I'll do that. I don't know. That's cool, though. Also, you probably weren't supposed to say that, but great. Yeah, it's announced. Oh, it is? Oh, yeah.

You know what I was thinking about the other day? What's that? Instagram bios where the people have a bible verse in them oh yeah classic and they're always those those people i'm sorry if you are a nice person the bible verse in your instagram name but guess what the majority of those people are the worst people in the world because nine times out of ten if you're a troll on the internet you got a bible verse in your instagram bio because uh you're satan and here's what i was thinking about the other day one i hope that there is a heaven because would suck so hard if i it just turns black but i want there to be a heaven and i want

god i want her to come out of the pearly gates and i want her to judge you before you go in and i want her to read your instagram bio and i want all the people that have a fucking bible verse there who have been nothing but trolls crap humans on the internet wanting to read it in front of everybody and then i want her to start laughing at them. And then just like Janikowski punt down to hell. I think it's going to be so funny. I think that is going to be everyone's entertainment in 2040 heaven. I was really thinking like for sure Luke P has a Bible verse in his bio.

And I'm disappointed to say he does not. The fact that you could find that guy on the internet scares me. You know how I found it? How? So I hung out with the Bachelor crew last night. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they are like sleuth experts. Oh, yeah.

And I just knew if I clicked on their Instagram, I'd be able to find it. However, what he does have on his Instagram bio. Yeah. I'm sure there's a tattoo of a- CrossFit try hard. Okay. Family man. Yeah, okay.

Jesus plus nothing equals everything. Okay, there you go. Oh, this one gets even better. Hashtag faithful over famous. Yeah, right. That's why you went on a fucking reality TV show, dude, and went bonkers on everybody. People are so full of shit.

It's amazing to me. Yeah, it really is amazing. Here's one of my favorite things about America. Say what you want about our country. Americans can smell bullshit from a million miles away. A million miles away. Because I think a lot of people will be like, oh, he doesn't want her to go bungee jumping naked. And everyone's like, no, dude.

This guy's freaking so creepy. I missed, obviously, like the past whatever episodes because I was the next ghost. So I don't really know. But I come in last night. And I love because he's he Luke P is unraveling at this point. Oh, it's so fun to watch too. And all the guys are sitting there and like, and he flexes, Luke P flexes on all of them. And they're all just like, no, we are no longer intimidated by this five, eight Jesus warrior.

And they're all just like, like, I'm sorry that I guess it is. I can't, I don't know everyone's name. Is it, um, he's a golfer. And he was just like like i'm sorry that i guess it is i can't i don't know everyone's name is it um oh god he's a golfer and he was just like garrett garrett he was just like sweet dreams baby and i was epic i was like oh my god that was the best thing to say it was the best and the thing is like every week i'm so pissed that he's still here, but then the other part of me is so happy because it's such great television. Oh, I know. So I said yesterday on the Bachelor podcast, I said,

that I kind of, at this point, he's been around so long, it's like, well, might as well ride it out. I want to see hometowns. I want to see where he comes from. I want to see what his family's like. And part of me wants to see him make it to Fantasy Suite so that he freaks the hell out when she starts sleeping with other dudes oh yeah he's gonna like break down the wall he's gonna have a glass up to the wall listening being like yeah i hear heavy panting this is not

acceptable in my marriage bed and he like busts through a door and it's like some elderly couple just like getting their rocks off and he's like oh oh God! I also, yeah, I do want to meet his family because you know there's an old grandma who's so racist and I want to see her say something totally inappropriate. Like, you

know in Wedding Crashers when you meet the grandma and she just keeps on saying like inappropriate things? Yeah. That that's you know that there's a there's a me ma or a nini or a nana who just drops so many racial slurs because that's where she came from and obviously part of her dna is in this freaking monster so gotta be a little racist i'm excited for it that's what i saying. I just want to see like where he comes from. Someone's family says so much about who they are.

I got, we need to see that. We deserve that at this point. For sure, dude. I don't know if I'm supposed to say this or not, whatever. It's,

it's still defending the show. I was talking to the producers about it and I was just like, what? This guy. Someone was like, I know everyone thinks that we did everything we could to keep this guy around. Not the case. We were like total hands off on this this is very very real that she wanted to keep him around she was just like very infatuated with this guy insane so there's my defense for the show

you can tell that episode last night dude he is very good at like kind of talking you in the circles until you're like okay i don't care anymore i gotta get kind of talking you into circles until you're like, OK, I don't care anymore. I got to get out of here. You know, like he just says enough words and there's enough buzzwords in there that like you're like, OK, I don't know. Maybe you're right. I'm going to get out. I'm going to go because your face looks like the guy from Monsters, Inc. And it's annoying. And I got to get out of here. Oh my God. The fact that he's, all these other, like, did you see that last scene where like, is it Peter that's just towering over him?

Oh yeah. Or maybe it's Tyler, I don't know. But I'm just like, the dude is so short and all these other guys are so tall and so hot. Send Lupe home. Just on those grounds alone. Get him out. Just on height alone? Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, aside from like the creepy religious stuff. Wait, too short. Get him out of here. He's too short. Get him out. Just on height alone? Yeah. I mean, aside from the creepy religious stuff. Wait, too short. Get him out of here. Too short. Get him out. About to go to the islands on vacation trying to get shredded, dude. Yeah, good luck.

I know, man. But I'm using OpenFit and it's working a little bit. I'm starting to get some definition. Just a little bit. Okay. Don't judge me, but I feel like it's looking good. Okay. Yeah. Got it. So what's your secret? I'm using open fit. I just said it. I'm using open fit. Tell me about it. So basically open fit takes all the complexity out of losing weight and getting fit. It's a brand new, super simple streaming service that allows you to work out from the comfort of your living room in as little as 10 minutes a day. Like everyone's bodies are

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Code YOURFAVORITETHING. Do it. All right, Brandy. I need a Smile Direct Club update on your broke-ass grill. Things are going great. Still, I'm shocked with myself here. I really, I got to give myself a pat on the back. I've been really, really good about wearing these liners.

Should I give your back a ding right now? Sure, give it a ding. All right, there it is. Yeah, but honestly, Smile Direct Club has made it so freaking easy for me to go on this smile journey. I've said it time and time again. It's so easy. You don't really have to go in at all but you can go in for your first appointment just to get a smile scan um at any they have

stores in almost every city and once you do that they send you a whole kit full of aligners you change amounts usually every week usually once a month you wear one for two weeks before you switch to another but what's great is like you you really don't have to back like you can travel, you can live your life and just switch these aligners out every week like you're supposed to. They give you text and email reminders so that you never miss a day to change. And if you stick to the schedule, you're going to have a straight smile in typically six months. And if you don't believe that Brandy's doing this, go to YFT podcast on Instagram. You actually see stories of her teeth getting better every single day, which is cool. You can. And I took a before when I started

this and I'm about halfway through. So at the very end, my, it says my journey is actually only five months. I'm only doing my bottom teeth. And so at the end of the five months, I'm going to take an after and show you guys the difference. So far, I can really tell a difference. I can tell a difference in my bite. I can tell that my teeth are moving around to make room for my teeth in the front to be straighter. I've been really, really happy with the program so far. That's awesome. We got a deal for you guys out there. Get a $25 Amazon gift card with a free 3D scan at one of their smile shops or get a $25 rebate on an at-home impression kit. Then exclusive to our listeners, get $150 off your invisible aligner at smiledirectclub.com slash podcast and then use offer code YFT150. There's really no better time to fix your smile than right now. So you can join

me and get straight teeth and get $150 off at smile direct club.com slash podcast. When you use our offer code YFT 150. Do it. Fix your broke ass grill. I'm getting to a point now in my life. I don't know if you're there yet, but like I'm getting eyebrows that are like three inches long. What's happening with this?

Long. They're so long. Oh, like the length of the hair. Yeah. Like normally, you know, eyebrow hair grows. No, I know. But normally it just kind of stays at the one length. And then you get a couple that are like super thick.

Oh. And then they're just, all of a sudden you're like, this, I can pull this down and it can touch my nostril if I wanted to. Oh my God. See, I keep my maintenance mine. I know. Do you have a brush? Is there like a brush or something that I need? Yeah, there's a little spoolie brush, and you brush them up.

And then when some of them get longer than others, you just give them a little trim trim. Can I say something about eyebrows real quick? Okay? Because I noticed it on this last season of Paradise, and I'm just going to say it. Okay? There's a new trend where girls, I think they're like gelling their eyebrows and then like brushing them up so they're like... This is not new.

And I don't know. Thank you, sir, ma'am. I don't know what's happening, but it's very, very distracting. And it looks like you,

something about married in the eyebrow. And then everything just kind of got stuck up like that. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. See, this is not new. It's just that these, these middle of America girls are just now on the trend.

OK, but like last year, all the runways, all the models had their eyebrows brushed up in the gel and it was a thing. So this has been a thing. But it's actually like if done right, it's actually very nice. No. Yes. No, I don't like it. Just have your eyebrows be normal eyebrows. I don't know what I don't like. The microblading thing has been taken too far. Do you know what that is? Yes. The tattooed on eyebrows? Yes, I know what it is. Everyone's taking it one step too

far to where their eyebrows just look so fake and dark and solid that it's not cute. I'm not disagreeing with you on that, but also stop gelling your eyebrows because that's weird. All right? I gel mine, but you would never notice because I do it correctly.

I would have said something to you, been like, what happened to your eyebrows? Why are they sticking up in attention? Like, tan, huh? Eyebrow. Roll call. Roll out. So would you say that this is something that's so dumb? Yeah.

So dumb. What are my other so dumbs uh so oh i've got one yes if you have a seven paragraph caption under your picture on instagram you're getting an unfollow no you're oh it's that drastic i'm or i'm muting you um can you hold on one second yeah okay fine hello what fine. Hello. What is this bullshit? She just called on somebody? I am. I was just talking about something pretty important, I thought. Like, pretty funny. And she's taking a call. That's perfect.

I'll go down and get it. If this isn't Miley talking about landing the bird in LaGuardia to pick her up, I'm going to be pissed. Right. Yeah. I had to post Mates toothpaste. Oh, my God. They're not even sponsoring us anymore. Huh?

They're not even sponsoring us anymore. I need to Postmates toothpaste. Oh, my God. They're not even sponsoring us anymore. Huh? They're not even sponsoring us anymore. I need to stop it. You can cut it out of the pot. I'm just telling you what's going on. No, it needs to stay in here because people need to know that we're still using it. And Postmates season 02. We're still using your company even though you're not sponsoring the pot anymore. Shut up.

Also, people who have seven paragraph Instagram captions really join my gears, Brandi. The reason why Instagram is great is because it's a picture. Twitter is where you have a bunch of fucking type and texts. and texts. I don't need to know that you, I'm not to be like so insensitive, but I don't care about how when you were bullied in sixth grade, this affected this picture and I need to read seven paragraphs about it. I don't. Say something funny about the picture. Make me laugh. Let me get on the next. I'll give you a double tap on the next thing. I don't need to know Nick Trebino was mean to you freshman year of high school,

which he was mean to me freshman year of high school, by the way, but we're new friends now, and we've gotten through it. Guess what? We don't care, Wells. Exactly. See? That's exactly what I'm... Thank you. Prove my point, and I love you for it. I actually do care. I was just trying to give you shit back.

My thing is just like, I ain't got no time to be reading a whole lot of crap. No. So if you write more than like, I'd say two sentences max, I don't read it. And I just keep scrolling. Dude, you know what I do? I will make my caption. And if I haven't gotten my whole like joke or what I'm trying to say in before the dot, dot, dot. Yep.

I go and I edit that shit. Yep. I don't even want you to have to press the button to see more shit. Me neither. Well, then the dog's fucked up. The whole thing. Man, they were really going at it. Fucking Terminix guys outside.

Oh, is that what's going on? Yeah, man. Long captions. Not into it. Sadum is that what's going on? Yeah, man. Long captions. Not into it. You got your so-dumbs? Both of those that you didn't clarify as so-dumb were so-dumb. Yeah. Yeah.

Glad you agree with me. You got any 4th of July plans? I'm going to be out of the country, sister. Where the hell are you going? We're going to the islands. Oh, that's right. I forgot. 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays.

Is it? Why? Yeah, I love it so much. Why is it? I don't know. Fourth of July and Halloween just really take the cake for me when it comes to holidays. All right. That's cool.

It usually involves a pool and everyone really wasted and getting day drunk and fireworks at night. And that's just fun. I don't know. Yeah, I had fun at Miley's fourth slide party last year. Oh, it was so lit. It'll go down in history. Are we doing another one of those or what's happening?

No, she's going to be in California. Well, that's okay. Whatever. That's where you are. I know. I got to fuck you very much. You want to do a fuck you very much? Oh, yeah.

We haven't done a fuck you very much in a while. This is coming from back sadikson all right great name subject line mixed three stars love brandy oh great she's so real okay let's stop with that my biggest issue with the podcast is that Brandy always gives attention and care to what Wells talks about. But when Brandy talks, it's like Wells glazes right over everything she says as if he's ready to move on to the next topic. It's rude. Also, Wells does annoying voices. I've listened to this show since the beginning, but I'm taking a break because two things that I just mentioned.

What do you think about that? Flattered. Yeah, it's annoying, right? I can't believe that someone would say something like that. I never mentioned. What do you think about that? Flattered. Yes. Knowing, right? I can't believe that someone would say something like that. Like I never would ever cut you off. You know what? Yeah, never. What's funny about that is I want to write something to this person because I just don't even like it. You know, I don't even like this person. What's that? I feel like I do that to you. I feel like when you talk, I don't ever listen. And I'm busy thinking about what I'm going to say next.

And you'll like tell a whole story and I'll be like, yeah, great. Okay. So actually. There was one moment where you texted me like after the show came out and you were like, that was really funny. And I didn't laugh when you said it because I wasn't listening to what you said. Yeah. So although I'm flattered that this person likes me so much, I disagree with the review. Yeah. So although I'm flattered that this person likes me so much, I disagree with the review. Yeah. So, yeah, please rate and review the YFT podcast if you wouldn't mind.

Give us all five stars. Say whatever you want, because I'll probably read it and fuck you very much. But the five stars thing is really what we want, because that's what's important is. We got to stop reading three star reviews then if we ever. I know that just tells the people that if you leave three stars, we'll still talk about it on Fuck You Very Much. I know. Yeah, I'm going to take a break for a couple weeks. No, you're not.

You're waiting for me to fucking do this on Fuck You Very Much. You know it's true. Oh, Lord. Also, please follow the YFT podcast on Instagram. It's at YFT podcast. Everything is there, laid out for you. It's at YFT podcast. Everything is there laid out for you. It's perfect. It is.

So I've been asking people if the good dick day is a real thing. Yeah. I'm hearing that it's real. I told you. I saw a lot of tweets being like, I asked my boyfriend. He says it's not real. And that's because that guy always has a bad dick day or he's always got a great dick day either way oh that's hilarious no i've asked a few guys and they're like they're like yeah it's real and i'm like i'm like so does it like

look different on good dick days and they're like nah it's just just a vibe you know yeah it's a feeling i'm like okay it's bde it's when you it's it's you don't have bde every day no you know yeah it's a feeling i'm like okay it's bde it's when you it's it's you don't have bde every day no you know that's what that's what it is yeah i won't say names because i don't want to get him in trouble for spilling secrets but derek was telling me we were talking about uh good dick days yesterday and he was like yeah this this one girl in paradise she kept staring at my dick and yeah it's like and i woke up that's funny and i woke up that morning and thought i was having a good dick day and then this girl can't take her eyes off of it and i'm like yeah you know it's funny if you go and listen

back to the episode where you talk about good dick days and i keep being like i was talking to my friend about this the guy the guy that i was talking to was der. He told me that last night. He also told me that you stole the term digmatized from him. Which I disagree with because I think it's from Bridesmaids. I think we used it a while ago. And I think that Sarah used it and we were all like,

this is such a funny term. And then we were like, where did it come from? And then... Right. Can I just say, I love Derek so much. What a great guy. And then we were like, where did it come from? And then. Right. Can I just say, I love Derek so much. What a great guy.

Oh, I know. No, I've hung out with Derek a few times. And I know he's one of your besties. But like yesterday, without you there to distract from the friendship, I really feel like I got to know the guy. I love the guy. Great guy. He is a good he's a good man. He's a normal guy, which I feel like in the bachelor world, there's a lot of kind of just weirdos, wackadoos and boring people. That's something that I've noticed is there are a lot of very boring people.

They don't bring a whole lot of don't bring a whole lot of fire to the conversation. They just look good. You know? Yeah, hopefully. Yeah, hopefully. Speaking of, I know we don't want to talk about The Bachelor too much, but, man, if Peter doesn't win this season and he's not The Bachelor next year, something's wrong with the universe.

Yeah. I love Peter. I've loved him since day one. He's just, like, classic Bachelor. He's, like, got a little bit of a Ben Higgins vibe. This is the pilot. He's, like, always got a smile on his face. He's just happy to be there.

He's always saying positive stuff. Stays out of the drama. This is the pilot. Yeah, the pilot. Pilot Pete. Love him. Great job. Good looking dude.

He gets my nomination for Bachelor, honestly. He looks like he's 14 years old. No. Yes. But he's not. He's like late 20s. He just seems like a good dude. I'm here for it But he's not. He's like late 20s. He just seems like a good dude. I'm here for it.

Can I be the first person as someone who knows more than everyone else to say? Yeah. Great. But let's watch Paradise and see what you think. Fine. I'm just saying. I'm just saying you I'm just saying. I'm just saying you might have a different perspective.

Are you saying Peter's on Paradise? I'm not saying anything. What are you saying, Weldy? I'm not saying anything. But I am stressing right now. I'm just saying you should wait. Also, think about it. Colton and Nick both came from Paradise.

So it's a possibility. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Can we just real quick, real quick, talk about airplane announcements? Sure. And whoever the fuck is dealing with the volume level in that thing is such a dick. Okay?

Really? Because I'm watching whatever. I was watching Captain Marvel yesterday. Oh, you're right. You're right. And at a normal level. And then, you know, it's like, pause for an announcement. So it's like, there's, you got to get the cat.

It's got the tesseract in its stomach. Pause for an announcement. We're going to be landing in a couple minutes here, by the way. Put your fucking seatbelts on. Put tree tables up. Can this fucking thing get any louder? I don't think so. I'm just sitting there going, oh, fuck.

It's like I got fucking electrocuted. Oh, my God, dude. Can we have it? Can we have the sound match what the sound is that I'm listening to? Oh, God. Speaking of flying, the other day I flew up to New York. I had not one but two women pilots in the cockpit. It was badass.

Those women nailed it. They landed even in the wind at little tiny LaGuardia Airport runway. They were an inspiration to me. And I just had to say that. They should rename the name of that room then, don't you think? The Vag Pit. Oh, yeah. The Vag Pit.

Yeah. I don't know. It doesn't have the same. Can I say it? Can I say it? You say it. No, you say it. The Cunt Pit.

I don't like to say that word. I honestly don't know which one of those is worse. I mean, you get the Cock Pit. So if it's a Cock Pit, then I feel like it's the Cunt Pit. I hope. Can we just come up with a new gender neutral name for that area, please? Thank you. Yeah, I like in ships, it's called the bridge.

It is? I think so. I don't know. From all my years of watching Deadliest Catch, you got to go talk to Sig Hansen in the bridge, you know? That doesn't make sense either, so I don't really know what to do. It's 2019, baby, and we got two women in the cunt pit. Let's go. Oh, my God.

You're ruining this. It doesn't matter, though, and I'm glad that this is where we are as a society, but I guarantee you they'd come on the goddamn announcement being like, By the way, we're coming in hot, guys. Put your seats up. Oh, my lord. Okay, we haven't even done a favorite thing, by the way. We haven't done one.

I've done a couple. I got one. Season two of the OA, I'm like three episodes in. So good. Man, I gotta try to get back on that. Season one was hard to get into. Also, I gotta try to get back on that. Season one was hard to get into. Yeah. Also, got a question. I saw it on MTV because I was watching The Hills last

night. I guess there is a new, there's another show called Teen Mom OG. I don't know. I don't know anything about the teen mom shows. Anyways, it's called Teen Mom OG. So it's like all the original, I guess, teen moms. So why don't we just call it mom? Because they're not teens anymore. You know?

Good point. Show should be called mom. Hey, it's mom. Moms is on. I'd watch it. A bunch of moms are on. They were teens at one point, but not anymore. Good point.

Good point. I'm really loving the new season of Big Little Lies. Have you said that at all? I know. So Sarah, I don't think I've seen the first season. So we got to let her get through that. I know but um so sarah i don't think i've seen the first season so i gotta we gotta like let her get what no how i know it's disrespectful to me because it takes place in my hometown but whatever we're not gonna get into it it's not a big deal and there's just so many great actresses in that i'm shocked i know who do you think the best actress is in it because

now i know season two's got what's her name meryl streep killing it in season two's got, what's her name? Meryl Streep is killing it in season two. She's fabulous. Do you know what that was like? Okay. Big Little Lies was already a pretty stacked cast. Meryl Streep coming in was similar to like when Kevin Durant went to the Golden State Warriors, where you're like, we don't need this. We don't need them to be that much better than everybody else.

You're right. Great analogy. Thanks. I think, man, everybody's so good. Like, I really love that entire cast. I love Shea Woodley and I love Reese Witherspoon. But I really think Nicole Kidman really kills it on this show. Yeah.

The guy that plays Reese Witherspoon's husband. Oh, Adam Scott. Yes. So I love him in this because normally in anything else he's in, he's the funny guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And in this, he's just the total weirdo. And it's so good. Laura Dern's great in this show too. Everyone's good.

I mean, geez Louise. Great show. You got anything else? I got a song. Alright, give it to me. Shameless plug. My little sister Noah Cyrus might be on this track. Oh my god. oh my god oh my god um but it's actually a guy named rents r-e-n-c-e it's his track it's called expensive and noah's featured on it i want to say this is no he doesn't have a few other things out but he's like an

up-and-coming artist this guy's real cute i actually was like noah should you date him because he's he's real cute what's actually was like, Noah, should you date him? Because he's real cute. What's the name of the song? It's called Expensive. I can't remember what made it so special back in the beginning. I can't be responsible for you. You're making it impossible for me. Think you're saying things I want to hear. Ain't nothing but things I don't believe.

I can see the signs through between the lines. Sirens in my head, bearing through the night. Let's just fade. Love it. It's good, right? Oh, man. I love freaking Noah, dude. She's the best. She's going to have some other stuff coming out soon is what I'm told.

I believe that, man. We're going to have to be on the lookout for some fire Noah Cyrus tracks coming soon. New Fruitbats record is so good. I haven't heard it. Oh, my God. By the way, the new Rack Fruitbats record is so good. I haven't heard it. Oh, my God. By the way, the new Rack on Tours record's pretty good. I'm not sure if you're into that whole thing. I do like them. Glad to see that they came back and Brendan Benson and Jack White are together.

This Fruitbats thing tastes so good. And you found yourself, man, and that's unfair Love me some fruit baths there, great. The new record is called Gold Past Life. That's a song called Bottom of It. The whole record is really good, by the way. So just check that one out. Love it. All right. I picked up the new Blake Crouch book for my flight this evening.

Oh, yeah? He's the guy that wrote Dark Matter, the book I'm obsessed with, that people still to this day tweet me and say that they've just read and that it's the best book ever, and I'm like, I know. Dark Matter's the one where it's different planes of existence, right? Yeah. This guy's got a new book. How is it?

Because I love Dark Matter. That was a good call on you, by the way. Yeah. I haven't started the new one yet. Literally just picked it up the other day. I'm going to look and see. So you will report back. I will report back.

I'm so excited that he even has a new book out. I just had to go ahead and mention it. Yeah. Dope. So cool. All right. Well, have fun in Copenhagen there. Copenhagen?

Yeah. Yeah. And then let's see. So from there, I go to the UK. So I think the next time we talk, I'm going to be in the UK. That'll be tight. I mean, next Monday, I guess. All right.

Well. Right. Let me see where I'm going to be next Monday. I might be not here. Oh, where are you going? I'm going on a little vacation, girl. Yep. On Monday.

Actually, I think I'm taking the red eye. So, yeah, on Monday we're going to the islands. Uh-oh. Yeah, so. Nice. Yeah, so. As if you need more tan, you know? I know.

And it's so weird to be like, I need a vacation after working so hard in paradise. But here's the thing. It is a lot of work. Yeah, and it's emotionally taxing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, so we'll see. All right, well, miss you, kid. Tell your family I say hi and safe travels, dude.

I will. Tell Sarah hi from me. How's she feeling? She's fine. She's back. She went to the hospital, but she's good. I saw that. Yeah.

I'm good. I bet she's happy you're home. Yes. I mean, who wouldn't want to see this smiling face oh god all right brandy finally someone to make me tacos and make me margaritas yes i know exactly i'm not gonna make another margarita for the next 12 months all right i'm done making margaritas. Yeah, I bet. Love you, dude, and have safe travels. Thanks.

Talk to you next week. Okay, bye. Bye. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.