Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Easy Bake Thanksgiving and Utah Alien Art

Episode Date: December 2, 2020

This week on YFT, Wells and Brandi take a deep-dish dive into their Thanksgiving meals; honorable mentions include Brandi’s Easy Bake side dishes and Wells’ Cornish game hen!? Wells also shares a family recipe for a broccoli casserole that is better than sex (but not better than sex with Sarah, don’t worry girl). Plus, Noah is nominated for a Grammy, there was a random monolith discovered in Utah that may be from aliens, and grandpa is back to read us some erotic excerpts. Also, Miley dropped a new album that Wells didn’t listen to and KB won Dancing with the Stars!! As always, YFTers, your hosts have a solid list of fave things for us all to obsess over. Let us know which ones you love too!! Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers: ARTICLE – Go to article.com/yft to get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more BILLIE – Go to mybillie.com/yft and get the starter kit for only $9 plus free shipping  BEST FIENDS – Download Best Fiends free today on the Apple App Store or Google Play TUSHY – Go to hellotushy.com/yft for 10% off and free shipping  KIWICO – Use promo code YFT at kiwico.com to get 50% off your first month plus free shipping on any crate line  

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Hi. Thank you. He's such a cutie. What did he bring you this time? Gold, frankincense, myrrh. Just a little hot chocolate. Some hot cocoa? Yeah, it's that time of year now. Wow.

Yeah, it's that time of year and apparently Wow. Yeah, it's that time of year, and apparently you're 12 years old. Yes, I am. It's bomb as hell. With the hot cocoa? Yeah. Do you know what I resent, not the most, but high up on the list of things that have happened to me during COVID? What's that? It's stolen a year of my life, and i feel like it stole the last good hangover year

that i had because now i'm like on couple day hangovers do you think that's because you're just drinking a lot more valid more often valid valid question valid point yes your honor that's a possibility. Like I used to be able to just like get torn up and be like bounce back the next day. Go play a soccer game or something. And now, before I called you, I opened this. I'm drinking a beer, not because beer sounds good to me or because I want to get like loosey-goosey for the show. I'm drinking a beer because your boy's on a two-day hangover and he's like, maybe this will work.

First of all, does beer make you loosey-goosey? I mean, if you drink enough of them, yes. Huh. I am not a beer person. A lot of girls don't like beer. A lot of girls do, though. I know a lot of girls that they can drink some beer.

My fiance is not one of those people. That makes me feel better. Yeah. It did steal your wedding, I guess. Yes, also stole my wedding. That's kind of a bummer. I got to say, I wasn't going to be able to make it to your wedding because I was going to be on Sam Hunt's tour.

Yep. So I'm kind of pumped your wedding didn't happen because now I have a shot at going. I know. I should try to go find that audio of you like having to come clean that you're not going to be able to come to the wedding because I had recorded it and then I cut it. Oh, you did. But yeah, now you can come.

Yeah, exactly. Hopefully. We have like a really small Thanksgiving get together. But after dinner, we all went outside and sat around the fire pit in my article chairs. And once again, everyone's like, where'd you get these? And I was like, guys, listen to my podcast. So we talk about this all the time. But if you're looking for some awesome furniture, dude, articles, where you got to go? Yeah, it really is one of my favorite places to shop for furniture. I have several pieces

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Thanksgiving, not Thanksgiving. I say Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. That'sherners call it Thanksgiving. They put the emphasis on the thanks instead of the given. Thanksgiving. I say Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. That's how most people say Thanksgiving. Or say Thanksgiving. I say Thanksgiving. You say Thanksgiving. I put the emphasis on the give.

Yeah. So a lot of Southerners put the Thanksgiving, put the emphasis on the thanks. Huh. Those are two good things to put some emphasis on, I would say. Yeah. It's like Southerners, I've often heard them say umbrella instead of umbrella and Thanksgiving instead of Thanksgiving. I think I say

umbrella. Do you say umbrella? Uh-huh. Interesting. Yeah, I gotta get the umbrella. Yeah. You do. Did you have a good Thanksgiving? What did you do? I had a good Thanksgiving. So did you do i had a good thanksgiving um so this was rise

first thanksgiving and he is so funny he was like so what is thanksgiving he was like what like what is it about really and i was like well honestly it's about us stealing land from all the native americans that were here before and celebrating that. And it's pretty fucked up. And he was like, oh, I had no idea. I don't want to celebrate that. And I was like, yeah, but I mean, he was like, I think he thought like people actually sit down to this day and celebrate that exact thing. And I was like, but obviously when you sit down for Thanksgiving dinner, that's not what it's about now.

Technically, he was like, oh, I thought I had something to do with Christmas. Well, I think people that don't live here think Thanksgiving is tied in with Christmas somehow. OK, the story that I was taught as a child was the pilgrims were here and winter was coming and they were running out of their food stores. And so they went and asked the Native Americans to help them out. And the Native Americans had a big meal for them, like got them through the winter or whatever.

And so the pilgrims were thankful for the Native Americans. And then we subsequently stole all their land and performed mass chemical bio-warfare against them and got into bad trade deals with them. And all they did was hook a brother up with a cornucopia full of shit. Yeah. Rye had no idea about any of that. He thought it was a Christmas thing.

I was like, well, obviously, like, that's not, we don't like, you know, we're not thinking about those things. We like necessarily when we sit down and celebrate, we're not like, yay, we stole land or anything. I was like, but I don't know if she's like a holiday to like be thankful and spend time with your family. So he was like, okay, okay, now i'm excited about it so it was literally just me and him and trace trace came over i was which is nice and we made a real turkey we got a baby one though like a little six pounder so so we made like a legit turkey that takes the little ones take like four hours to cook but then everything else i made like instant mashed potatoes uh macaroni and cheese from a box like everything else was like 30 seconds bing bada bang and we just like threw

it all together after the turkey was done and it honestly bomb okay so i googled what is thanksgiving or the origins of thanksgiving oh perfect so this is what it says it predates us stealing their land okay i don't think i don't i think you're? I don't think, I think you're wrong there. I don't think we're celebrating us being assholes. I don't think, that came later. I mean, I'm being dramatic. Yeah, I know. But I can just see some YFTers being like,

I come from a direct lineage of the Nita, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria, and that is not what happened. I mean, it's not a secret, though, that Native Americans, like, don't look positively on Thanksgiving. Of course not. So this is kind of a mess holiday. Kind of. Yeah. So this is what is in 1621, the Plymouth colonists and the Wampa Oag Native Americans. Someone's a yell at me for not pronouncing that right. I'm sorry. Shared an autumn harvest feast that is acknowledged today as one of the first Thanksgiving celebrations in the colonies. More than two centuries, days of Thanksgiving were celebrated by individual colonies and

states. My version of it's right. I think the colonists didn't have anything. Are we going to really believe what we were taught in school from a textbook that like the conspiracy people could have written? I don't know. You're right. I don't know.

Listen, I don't know. You're right. I don't know. Listen, I don't know. Brainwash us into thinking that Native Americans weren't mad at us so that we all thought we all lived happily ever after. But the reality is different. You mean like an easy bake Thanksgiving? Yeah, except the turkey. We did the turkey the real deal. Oh, I didn't even do the turkey this year. Yeah, I saw you had some weird bird.

A Cornish game hen. Those aren't weird. They're had some weird bird a cornish game hen those aren't weird they're like little chickens a cornish game hen yeah it's like a very small chicken and that you just make one for everyone just a couple of us my brother sarah's brother you know i put them in a smoker well i brine them first which is but you put them in salt water for 24 hours and then yeah we should do the too, to be honest with you. And then I have a smoker, which you can buy a smoker at Home Depot for $60. I have an electric one, and you just throw on the wood chips. Put a little bit of Cajun seasoning on it, not much, and then smoked them for like two hours until they got to, you know, 165.

It was the most delicious Thanksgiving turkey that I've ever had. Because hot take, Brandi. Turkey is hot garbage, all right? It's a shit bird. It's way too tough. It's way too dry. That's why we put so much butter on it and then douse it with just fat gravy to make it palatable.

I did see this as a trending topic over the week. It's true. It's true. Of turkey haters. I got to say, I like turkey. I eat the white meat because I feel like it's not as tough as something. I don't know. The dark meat is not.

I can't do it. But the white meat is like, I don't know. Someone at the table, I think it was where I said the turkey's pretty moist. We were pretty proud of ourselves. We like did it up. Did we use a full stick of butter? Yes. Yes, you did. Was it delicious? Yes.

I want to do my quick, the greatest side dish to ever hit a Thanksgiving Day table is my Tia's famous broccoli casserole, and it's so easy, okay? Sounds bomb. Get a— Love a casserole.

Love a casserole. Get—I'm telling you, it literally bats 1,000 every single year. Everyone's like, that was the best, all right? It's disgusting. It's a heart disease right in your fucking veins, but it's amazing. This is what it is. Get a casserole dish, right? Cook some broccoli up.

What I did is I did the microwave steam bags. Get two of those puppies, steam them up, throw them in your casserole dish. Then, you know how you can buy Velveeta in a big block? Yes. Buy one of those blocks, all right? Cut it up into little squares. Top the entire top of the broccoli with the Velveeta. Then you get two sleeves of Ritz crackers, original, okay?

Put them in a plastic bag. Slam them on the table until they turn into crumbs. Then you melt one stick of butter in a mug in the microwave. Then you pour it into the bag with all the crumbs. Then you mix that up. Then you pour it into the bag with all the crumbs. Then you mix that up. Then you put that on top. 430 minutes. I've had

sex that was not even half as fulfilling as that casserole dish. Not sex with Sarah, obviously. Yeah, not better than Sarah, but ex-girlfriends. Right, right, right. Yeah. Should better than Sarah, but ex-girlfriends. Right, right, right.

Yeah. Should we start the show? Yeah, let's do it. Is it me? Is it you? I think it's you. Bros and hoes, you're listening to your favorite thing podcast with... Wells and Brandy. Where'd you get that shirt?

Mercy Lounge. I like that Yeah, it says I miss hugs and live music And I believe all the Like the smaller venues in Nashville Were printing them up And all the money for the shirt went to

Like helping out those live venues So I think MercyLounge.com is I did a post about it To try to help them sell a bunch So It's cute Yeah, I do miss... Hugs...

I can take or leave. But I do miss live music. I know. Me too. We can't go any further in the episode without addressing the fact that Noah Cyrus is nominated for a Grammy. Oh, she is? Best new artist

baby. Oh, nice. I know, but you know what I was thinking? What? After the excitement about it wore off, I was like, man, this is a terrible year to get nominated for a Grammy because it's not going to be normal. And Grammys, it's not just the Grammy Awards.

LA, the whole freaking, it's a Grammy week, and it's a full week of parties and events and like these legendary, you know, things like the Clive Davis party and like all these things where there's so many people and live performances. And that's not going to happen this year, is it? True. But if she wins, who gives a shit? She'll have a gramophone in her house.

True. True. How freaking cool is that? Little no, no. How many Grammys does miley have zero and your dad just got one last year that's what we talked about on sorry we're stoned we were like it took dad so long to get a grammy oh man miley might kill somebody if noah gets one before her well it's a pretty stacked category so know, I think just to be nominated is like a huge honor.

But obviously we want her to win. You can be like an artist for so long and just get nominated for Best New Artist. You know what I mean? Like some people have been doing this for a long time and then just get nominated for Best New Artist. So I think for Noah to have only been doing this a few years and to get nominated, like I think she's like super pumped and just really honored, you know. Bonnie Vare won it and he was on his third record yeah totally so very cool exciting week for us i mean we can play some at the end of the episode but obviously miley put out an album this week too so with thanksgiving miley's birthday miley's

album noah's grammy nom like it's been a big week over here in the cyrus fam oh man well that's amazing all right so obviously we are recording this before the finale of the undoing this week. So by the time this podcast comes out, the finale will have happened. And it actually might be kind of funny to listen to what we have to say before we saw that, because I'm caught up to episode five. Tell me you're caught up. I'm all caught up. Should we warn everyone?

Like, if you haven't seen just a skip forward 45 seconds. Yeah, maybe maybe give it a two minute, a two minute two minutes okay two minutes yeah ready set go go so the big twist was that the hammer the murder weapon was found in the son's violent case uh-huh but it's also clean which is very weird yeah Yeah. No blood. So what are you thinking? I'm thinking they want you to think it's the son. Ain't no way that kid's able to kill a grown woman, I don't think. No. No, no, no. I think he's hiding it for someone. Yeah, or

someone planted it. Planted it there. No, not his violin case. My money is still on Donald Sutherland. Is it really? I see. I kind of feel like it's going to be the dad, Hugh Grant.

I think everyone's going to think that's too obvious. And then it might end up being him because the son worships him. I could see the son totally covering up for his dad. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Yeah, I think it's too easy for it to be Hugh Grant. And I think it is before the final episode misdirection to have it be the kid. I still think it's too easy for it to be hugh grant and i think it is before the final episode misdirection to have it be the kid i still think it's donald but i also still like your initial thing of like it might be nicole kidman yeah she's there's something off about her for

sure yeah yeah yeah i don't know for sure and it's pretty wild that in court their lawyer brought up like why aren't you looking into her she was on security footage and like totally like you would think they would want to avoid like putting her you know like on their plate like at all costs but instead they just totally like shine the light on her which is nuts yeah i don't know i'm excited though i know i'm kind of sad there's only one episode but also like i'm so desperate to know what's going on that i'm glad there's only one episode left yeah was there gonna be a second season like what's happening here that I'm glad there's only one episode left. Is there going to be a second season? What's happening here?

I feel like when HBO does these miniseries, it's one season and done. I don't know. Big Little Lies is on its third season or whatever. That seems very Big Little Lies-y to me. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. That's because it's the same producer, I think. So are we done with the undoing?

Undoing. Yeah. Okay. So I did watch episode one of Big Sky. Oh, did you just watch episode one? Because a second one came out. I watched one where, okay, by the way, if you haven't watched Big Sky

and you want to hear the twist of the first episode, then turn away for 30 seconds, but here we go. Turn away now. They kill Ryan Phillippe in the fucking first episode? Okay, okay, I know. So that's the big thing at the very end so there's two things either either he's not dead because they haven't shown a body okay rye thinks he's like he's not dead i haven't seen the body but dude he's shot him in the head i'm like how's he not dead and there's there have been other shows like the outsider where the main character dies and episode member Jason Bateman's character just

bam, dead. Yep, and same with Game of Thrones. Oh, yeah. The King Gets Killed, like, in the third episode. And then the other one is Deadwood. I don't know if you've watched that show. I've never seen that. Do I need to watch that? Do you like westerns? Yeah. Yeah, then you probably you and Rye would probably really like it.

I need to start that. I feel like a lot of people are tuning in to the show to see Ryan Phillippe and he gone. I know. I was like, they fucking killed Ryan Phillippe? And Sarah's like, it's like Scream with Drew Barrymore dying in the first act. And you're like, yeah, but this isn't a movie. This is a fucking David E. Kelly thing. You can't kill him in the first episode.

It's pretty crazy. I know, but I liked it. The guy that kills him, I like that guy. Like, I mean, I don't. I like that guy, too. He's in, like, a lot of stuff. He's so good. He's a great bad guy.

Yeah, so, like, what's going to happen is that, like, the girlfriend and the ex-wife are going to have to, like, team up together to solve the murder of Ryan Phillippe. I think the redeeming quality of this plot is I like the two young girls, even though the blonde one's really annoying. The two young girls have gotten kidnapped. I think that will set like story. It's not a side story because it does intertwine. But I think that story is going to be kind of what keeps me watching. Yeah, I like it. I got to be honest with you. I haven't told you guys yet, but I'm actually going to the beach next week. So you better believe I shaved my legs yesterday. Rye was thrilled. And of course, I used my favorite Billy razor. It hangs in my shower. It's pink. It's so cute. It even hangs on a cute little magnetic holder. So it stays clean and

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What were you doing? Playing Best Fiends. It's freaking addicting. I absolutely love this game. In between me editing this show, I'm playing Best Fiends. It's a great way to de-stress. The challenges are getting better and better every time I play. The puzzles are even more rad. I'm absolutely addicted to this game. And here's the deal, guys. With over 100 million downloads, the five-star rated mobile puzzle game is a must play. Seriously, once you download Best Fiends, boredom doesn't stand a chance. And when Best Fiends says the fun never ends, that's not an exaggeration, guys, because there's 5,000 levels and counting. You literally can play forever.

Everyone out there needs to download Best Fiends free today on the Apple App Store or Google Play. It also works without internet, so you can play anytime, anywhere. That's friends without the R. Best Fiends. Do it. Are you watching anything else? You're going to hate. and there's not a whole lot to say about it because it's just like an easy watch show but do you remember i talked about it it's god it's been probably over a year now that it came out but this little netflix series called

virgin river no everyone's comparing it says it's just like heart of dixie which i totally understand the the the similar like similarities it's like in a small town and it's about like a doctor moved from the big city, moved to a small town or whatnot. So like that is similar. However, Heart of Dixie, I just could not get into. Like it was just too boring for me. And this one, I just think the quality is a lot better of the show and the acting. So they put out season one and it did really, really well.

So season two just came out. it did really, really well. So season two just came out. I'm like two episodes in. And so you kind of end, um, if you, I hope I'm not running this for anybody, but I feel like everyone's seen season one. If you haven't, yeah. So it kind of ends with like this love triangle for your picking back up with, of course, like you thought the two leads were going to end up together right at the end of season one. And then like all of a sudden, but right before it ends, it's like this love triangle thing, like this other chick comes in and wrecks it. And so like now we're in season two and like where you thought they were going to be together

and be in love forever. It's like they're like, oh, I just don't know. Like so and so just like, you know, like a wrench in the whole situation. I just don't know if I can trust you. And he's like, but I love you. I want to be with you. So we're in like a love triangle sitch. Who doesn't love a love triangle?

I watched Kevin Hart stand up. Have you seen that? No. You know me. Comedy. Hard. You know how hard of a take it is? Like bold, bold take to be like, I don't like comedy.

I didn't say I don't like it. I said it's like not my preference to like spend my free time like watching or listening to. I know, but you love Jumanji and Kevin Hart's in Jumanji. Yeah, but it's different. Stand up is like for I feel like a very specific kind of person. And I do like some stand up. Remember, I loved Dane Cook back in the day. Yeah, OK.

Someone has shit on the coats. Someone has shit on the coats. Love it. His stand up's really good. And I'll tell you why. He used what he had to his advantage. We're stuck in a pandemic. No one can leave. So he does his entire one hour special from, I think his theater room in his house. And he invites in a bunch of people who

are all wearing masks. So it's not like this huge amphitheater with like tons of laughter. He's only got like 20 people to make laugh. And so I think that actually makes it much more difficult, you know, like for a comedian. And his stuff is really funny because if you've ever listened to like early Kevin Hart stuff, like, you know, the beginning it was about his kids and making fun of his kids or his wife or whatever.

Now he is so famous that he's having to make his comedy about being so famous, which is something that I think is a really hard thing to do because it's very unrelatable. But somehow Kevin Hart makes it super relatable. Obviously, we would all love to be Kevin Hart and have his bank account, but it kind of must suck to be Kevin Hart. One, he's just so recognizable to start off the bat. He's also like four foot nine. So like everyone is noticing the really small person in the room. And then you see it's Kevin Hart. It's like, hey, Kevin Hart.

You know, like that was bad impersonation. But it's got to be tough to be him. It's got to be tough to be his kids. It's got to be tough to be his wife. It's really good. Like if you like Kevin Hart, it's really, really good. I would highly suggest it. I don't think it's his best standup.

It's good. And it's like really good pandemic fodder, too, because obviously he's talking about the fact that they're doing it in his own house and how he's stuck and how he— It was him and Tom Hanks that got COVID first. I don't know if you remember. Oh, yeah. He makes a joke.

He's like, I couldn't come out with it because Tom Hanks is more famous than me, you know, so I couldn't say anything. It's true. Kevin Hart's stand-up special it's on netflix real good i started a new book two days ago i'm almost done with it need to know because i need a new book oh i got one for you boy do i got one for you little book called ready player two is it a sequel oh yes what first of all i didn't even hesitate to get it i immediately got it okay like i didn't even think about it but there was a part of me that's like this is gonna be tough because i would say ready player was in my top five favorite books of all

time and it's like so hard i think so if that book was i need to go back and read or listen to it again but i love that book ernest klein also wrote a different book called armada which i read and i did not like at all so i was like i don't know like it's it's just gonna be bad like what are with here? Like, it's so hard to live up to Ready Player One. Can you really have a sequel? And I was like, I don't know. I want to do this. And I will say this.

I think I'm more than halfway through. And it's phenomenal. Wow. Like, fa-na-ma-nul. Okay? So does it take off from, is it the same character who's the lead and his point of view and everything? Yep. Wade Wilson is the owner of Gagarius Games.

He has the robes of Anorak, which makes him invisible and he can teleport anywhere he wants. And he's a multi-zillionaire. Shoto and H and his little girlfriend, they're all still there. They're just all super rich. and they're all still there. They're just all super rich and now living in different parts of the world. Days after winning Oasis founder James Halliday's contest, Wade Watts is informed about a new technology

that Halliday created and never released the general public. Called ONI, this technology allows users to not only experience Oasis with all five senses, but also record their experiences in real life. Wade quickly becomes addicted to the thrills offered by the ONI and reveals its existence to the other members of the High Five. Both Shoto and H agree to release the product while Artemis believes that it would only exacerbate the world's issues by making it easier to escape into the

Oasis. So that's the premise, right? New haptics, like a new way to experience the Oasis, but then also there's another hunt. The egg thing? There's more Easter eggs and there's another hunt. The egg thing? There's more Easter eggs, and there's a hunt. And I will say this, shit gets fucking crazy.

I just don't want to ruin it for anyone, but like, real bad people that were in the first book, they ain't going nowhere. And Ready Player, I haven't finished it. I'm just saying, Ready Player Two, nothing can beat the first one, but I will say this. It's kind of like right where it left off. It's like a bunch of nerdy freaking John Hughes references and like Rick Springfield

song lyrics and all that stuff rolled into this like weird futuristic world slash Matrix slash Back to the Future. Like, it is so fun. So anyways,

Ready Player Two, check it out. Have you heard of We Are the Champions? No. Is it a show? Yeah, it's on Netflix. It's a documentary. It's narrated by Rainn Wilson.

So Dwight from The Office. Here's the tagline. Explore an array of unique competitions from the quirky to the bizarre and meet their passionate communities in this docuseries. The first episode, there's this town in England where they do the running of the cheese. Huh?

And everyone gets all fucked up. I think it's in England or Scotland or something. I don't know. All these drunk idiots get on top of this mountain and they roll this wheel of cheese down the mountain and then you chase after it it's such a steep hill that everyone's just somersaulting and fucking scorpion down people are breaking ankles and shoulder blades and collarbones left and right after this wheel of cheese and oh by the way you can't catch the wheel of cheese because it goes 80 miles

an hour they clocked it so it's just whoever crosses the finish line first. It's like about that kind of stuff. This crazy hot pepper eating competition that people are eating like ghost peppers and like just absolutely destroying their buttholes. I'm just telling you what it is. The cheese rolling in the farmlands of England, an ancient tradition since daring tumblers down a steep hill in a risky race chasing cheese and history. In chili eating, from the seasoned titans to the bold newcomers,

these chili chompers push through pain in a fiery showdown. Can they stand and stomach the heat? So it's just like all these like off-center weird tournaments. And it's just so funny because humans are just so uniquely dorky. And I love it. I want to do the running of the cheese so bad. The cheese rolling thing. You do.

So I would love to do it. I'd love to be the first American to wins it, you know? That's what I need. Netflix, real easy watching, fun. Oh, and then the other one that I watched on Netflix, Secrets of the Saqqara Tomb. They're still finding fucking sarcophaguses and mummies and stuff in Egypt. You know that, right?

Like, it's still a thing. I mean, yeah. I don't know that, but it sounds reasonable. They're still finding them. Yeah. The tagline is, after unearthing a tomb that's been untouched for 4,400 years, Egyptian archaeologists attempt to decipher the history of the astonishing find. First of all, they're finding these sarcophagi, sarcophaguses, just left and right, willy-nilly. But they have this religion or whatever that makes them that they have to stop working for a while.

Fighting against the clock, but they find this amazing tomb with perfectly untouched hieroglyphics perfectly untouched mummies and caskets and sarcophaguses and everything going through with a paintbrush just slowly wiping off the sand and just unearthing this stuff that hasn't seen the light of day in 4 000 years it's pretty interesting geez it's a documentary yeah it's on netflix have you seen a monolith in utah in the utah desert yeah it's just a metal pole in the desert it's not a pole it's like a big box yeah and i read this news article like a couple days after we left moab and i was like. Something cool happens. Like right when we're leaving. But a bunch of like hikers.

Stupid people. Have gone and found it. Yeah. And so like they're investigating. Because like no one. Like I haven't seen answers. About what it is. Or anything. In the news.

And these hikers are going. Like standing on each other's shoulders. To like get on top of it. And stuff. And they're like. It's totally hollow. You know. It's this.

This many feet tall. It's like. It took like three people. Like to get on two people's shoulders. To get on top of it and stuff. And they're like, it's totally hollow. It's this many feet tall. It took three people. You had to get on two people's shoulders to get on top of it. It's big. Yeah. What do you think? You think aliens? I think it's an art installation.

Who would put an art installation in the middle of the desert where nobody knows where it is? An artist. How would you get it there? I don't know. Drive it out there, put it in the ground, then leak it out slowly or whatever, and then all of't drive it out there put it in the ground then like leak it out slowly or whatever and then all of a sudden it's like the biggest story in the world

that is nuts i think if it was alien shit no hikers would be able to go and just like check it out maybe that's what they want you to think yeah maybe that's what they don't want you to think but then you think that's something yeah i brain doesn't stop. I thought it was cool. I'm going with aliens. Yeah, I'm down. All right. So Rye and I just got a tushy in the mail. Wells, you know what a tushy is?

Yeah. Because how this whole thing started was I bought one and we talked about it on the show. And the company reached out and they're like, hold on. We want to be supporters. So I've had a tushy for quite some time. And I'm just telling you guys, this is a game changer. Somebody reached out and they're like, hold on. We want to be supporters. So I've had a Tushy for quite some time. And I'm just telling you guys, this is a game changer. When I use my Hello Tushy bidet, because that's what it is, guys. It's basically a bidet that fits on your own toilet.

I just feel so clean and so great. I'm using less toilet paper, less wet wipes. It's just the greatest. It just attaches right to the back of your toilet. It's super easy to install. It'll cut toilet paper use by 80%. So it'll pay for itself simply by how much TP it saves you. Every Hello Tushy bidet attachment comes with a 60-day risk-free happy butt guarantee

and a 12-month warranty. But you don't need that because I'm telling you, you're going to be obsessed with it on day one. Yep. No electricity or additional plumbing needed. And guys, the best part, it's all for just $79. Like bidets are such a luxury thing, but like you can have one in your own bathroom and I'm telling you it's a game changer. So join millions of Hello Tushy customers right now. Get 10% off plus free shipping right now at hellotushy.com slash YFT. That's hellotushy.com slash YFT for 10% off and free shipping. Hellotushy.com slash YFT. All right, guys, family has had to adapt to a lot of changes this year. It's true with learning online, not being able to go to school. All that

stuff has caused a lot of stress at home. My sisters have been telling me about it. They've got nine kids between them. I was like, you know, we got to do we got to send them some KiwiCo stuff and help the moms out out there who are losing their minds trying to take care of all these kids. Yeah, I've got a lot of friends with kids. All of a sudden, you know, I'm always wanting to get them cute gifts, but like how many clothes can you really buy a kid? So I also ordered some KiwiCo projects for some of my friends and they are loving it. Basically, these are like projects that are also fun so that kids can feel like they're playing, but also learning at the same time. It's genius. With KiwiCo's hand-on science and art projects, you'll give a gift that sparked curiosity and learning all year round. Remember, the most wonderful gifts are the ones that spark

wonder and KiwiCo's seriously fun and innovative crates. You can share new discoveries with everyone on your holiday list this year. Yeah, and with different crates for kids of all ages, there's something for literally every kid on your list. KiwiCo is redefining learning with hands-on projects that build confidence, creativity, and critical thinking skills. There's something for every kid or kid at heart at KiwiCo. So get 50% off your first month, plus free shipping on any crate line with code YFT at KiwiCo.com. That's 50% off your first month at K-I-W-I-C-O.com promo code YFT. Do it. All right. Well, I want to do something we haven't done in a while and I feel like the YFTers have been asking for it. Is it a fuck you very much? No, we could do a fuck you very much if we wanted.

I feel like we need to bring that back. Let's do this and then we'll do a fuck you very much? No, we could do a fuck you very much if we wanted. I feel like we need to bring that back. Let's do this and then we'll do a fuck you very much. Then we'll do some music. Okay. Because I feel like grandpa hasn't read an erotic novel in quite a while. Very interesting. Do people miss that? Or was it creeping everyone out?

Well, see, I don't think you read the reviews on our show. I do that in my spare time. And I do. And this is something that people said a lot about. Okay. So I just Googled the sexiest erotic novels of all time. Oh, God. An uncensored guide to quality smut.

And this is on Esquire.com. I just started reading this one and I was just dying laughing. This is from a book called Sabbath's theater by Philip Roth just a small excerpt before you go to bed Brandi It's gonna haunt me even dead drinker gave him a hard-on alive or dead Dranker made him 20 again Even with temperatures below zero He would grow hard whenever. From her

coffin, she enticed him just like this. He had learned to stand with his back to the north so that the icy wind didn't blow directly on his dick. But still, he had to remove one of his gloves to jerk off successfully. And sometimes the gloveless hand would get so cold, he would have to put that glove back on and switch to the other hand. He came on her grave many nights. And that was... This is...

And that was an excerpt from Sabbath's Theater by Philip Roth. Who wrote that? Philip Roth is the author. What kind of person is Philip Roth? Oh, that was

something. That was something else. The novel opens up not long before Mickey Sabbath, a 60-year-old puppeteer, loses his Yugoslav lover, Drenka Balich, to a pulmonary embolism. The book is Roth's great song of rage. Rage at life, rage at death, rage at the Moors that gets Sabbath fired from his college teaching job after he has phone sex with an undergrat. I kind of want to read this now.

Oh boy. You know? Some light bedtime reading? I'll do one more. A sport and a pastime by James Salter. A sport and a pastime by James Salter. He is determined to perform the most gentle act, but he doesn't know exactly where to enter.

Oh, boy. He tries to find it. Plus hot, she whispers. His arms are trembling. Suddenly, he feels her flesh give way, and then, deliciously, the muscle closes about him. He tries to press against anything to go in straight. She is breathing quickly, and as he withdraws on the first stroke, he can feel her jerking with pleasure.

Oh, God. can feel her jerking with pleasure oh god in the short movement she likes she thrusts herself against him moans escape her dean comes it's like a hemorrhage and afterwards she clasps him tightly a sport and a pastime by james salter time by James Salter. Wow. Oh, man. You gotta love this. People are... Do you? I mean, this is a thing. People are watching or reading this, you know? I mean, yeah. I don't know who.

I don't either, but man. I don't know if I want to know. Anyways, I have to go have some Mylanter and a nip of scotch and go to bed. Thank you for having me on your show, Brandy and Wells. Yikes. Moving my hand over her bronze tits, tracing her hip bones circling beneath. The overhang of her buttock. Shimmer flat palm down the back of her legs.

You turning over the knee. Meander up her thighs. Now dipping between them for a breathless moment. Now skirting cheekily around the side. It hovers for the full quarter minute. Then lands soft but firm on her cunt. Ew. That's from The Rachel Papers by Martin Amis.

Okay, goodbye, Brandy and Wells. You've been wonderful. Do we ever have to do that again? Yes, because it's funny. Fuck you very much? Yeah, I think we need to, especially after that. I need something to lift me. I think they wrote ass, but it's ampersand and then money sign, money sign.

Great pod, but does Brandy even like Wells? Question mark, question mark. I love this podcast. I love this podcast, but sometimes I feel bad for Wells. Does Brandy even like him? She really isn't too nice to him at all. Nevertheless, at his hilarious jokes and couldn't even tell him she was thankful for him on the Thanksgiving episode. That's true.

Was that a year ago? That was last week. Last week. Wells always brings great content. You'd think she'd be a little kinder. You know what? Yes! How boring would it be if I was nice to you all the time?

You've gotten nicer. If people go back to the beginning of the show, you are very mean to me. Yeah, I think. You know what? That's what half of this podcast is all about um this is from burberry 1688333 love love love subject line love listening to you guys every week this episode was fantastic driving home from a long day of working in health care and was provided with much needed laughs p.s please for the, for the love of God, watch The Queen's Gambit on Netflix.

Fantastic. Okay. Number one, Burberry1688333. We talked Queen's Gambit like four episodes ago. Mm-hmm. Anyways, thank you, Burberry. That's very nice of you. You know what one of my favorite things is?

It's been one of my favorite things for like really long time, and we just revived it. What's that? Yahtzee. Oh, yeah? I fucking love Yahtzee. Rye and I have been playing, and we played with some friends last night, with some friends over. I slayed. First of all, I got two Yahtzee in one game, which is unheard of.

I've never gotten that in my life. I slayed. And do you want to know what my lucky charm was? What? Every time I burped out loud and rolled, yahtzee. Wow. And then, because I was like, this is a thing, like burping is it. So then I was like,

I don't have any more burps. I'll just do a fake burp. And then rolled, yahtzee. Wow. I know. It's so fun. We gotta take your ass to Vegas and get you in front of a craps table immediately. I don't know how to play that, but I'll just burp and we can do it up. Yeah, you just got to get freaking... Give me some bubbly.

That's all you need? Yeah. I guess it's a good question. What's your favorite board game of all time? I haven't played board games in so long, really. All my friends used to be obsessed with Settlers of Catan. I could see you loving that. No, that's too nerdy for me.

Oh, is it too nerdy? Okay, okay. I love like Yahtzee, Catchphrase, Loaded Questions. Have you ever played that? Uh-uh. But basically, like you get a group of friends together and like preferably, I think, ones that like know each other pretty well, you know? Yeah.

It's kind of like apples to apples, cards against the Yeah. It's kind of like apples to apples, cards against the man. It's kind of like that. Okay. Whoever reads the question, like if I'm reading the question, it's like, here's an example question is, what is an instant mood killer?

And everyone needs to answer catered to me because I'm going to pick who I think said the best answer for me, like what I think an instant mood killer is. You know what I mean? It's super fun. I love games like that. I don't know about board games yeah oh what about me okay let me tell you i love oh me oh god thanks for asking have you ever played boulder dash no boulder dash is so much

fun they give you a word that is a real word with a definition like it'll be something crazy like laramie so then you have to write down a definition for the word laramie and you could be like a old english sickle used at the turn of the century for harvesting crops so you just have to guess. You make something up, right? And then there's one person there that writes in the actual definition. And then that person reads out all of them. And then everyone guesses as the right one. If people guess your bullshit one, then you like move up in the board and stuff. And so like the new version, you should just be definitions. And now the new one's got like,

something happened on this date. Like what happened on this date? Or like name this person, Thomas Franklinson Burger. And then you'd be like, Thomas Franklinson Burger was the guy who invented the Laramie in the turn of the century in old English used for harvesting.

So then, and then everyone guesses. And then if people guess yours, then you move up and whoever gets the most is the winner. It's really fun. That sounds fun. Anything that's creative like that where you have to have some sort of creativity to play it, I think is fun. Alright, you want to do some Muzaks?

Gotta. Can't wait to listen to a bunch of people named Cyrus. Which Cyrus are we doing first? Have you not listened to Miley's album? I'm going to be upset if you haven't. No, I have not. Wells? Miley and I are having a feud right now. I don't know if anyone

told you about it. It's really good. I'm really proud of her. It's really, really good. She's been working on it for so many years. I don't know how because i'm always so impressed with her vocals like her voice is just insane and somehow she continues to just like blow me away vocally with everything she does so like even some of these songs that are

like pop radio like prisoner let's do it with the song let's do a lipa the dynamics and the depth in her voice is just insane like i'm just so impressed um but anyway i'm devastated you haven't heard the album because i wanted to know what your favorite track was but i was thinking today on my drive home like what are my top faves like top three songs on miley's album my i think my favorite is give me what i want i don't think it's one that would maybe stand out as being like the favorite on the album. But for some reason, I'm obsessed with it. I love it so much.

It's got like, I don't know. It's got like a vibe to it of like music I listened to almost like in the early 2000s, but also the 80s. I don't know. It's a really cool vibe. We have to play that one. I like it all. So cool. Play Hi. But I think of you and don't know why I still feel high I still feel high

Sometimes I stay up all night Cause you don't ever talk to me in my dreams And I think about Eventually You're holding me And dancing to the record like a movie scene And in my head I did my very best saying goodbye Is that about Liam?

Goodbye You know, well, I'm going to let you interpret it. Okay. Whatever you think it's about is what it's about. Okay, the last thing you just played, like a little tiny bit of her zombie cover. It's just so good. And they're boss and they're boss In your head, in your head They are quiet good What's in your head

In your head Dummy, dummy, dummy So good. I can't wait to listen to that live one day at a concert where there's people. Oh, God. Hopefully soon. Love the cranberries

we've played them before on the podcast i think i don't ever know if i'm saying it right a kilo do you know them yeah is it a quillo quillo yeah a kilo a quillo something like that they have a new song called missing the mark it's really emo and sad don't say what you need to once upon a time you will find you just like you need a spark.

Sorry you're stuck here, here in the dark. Comforting, giving, always forgiving, missing the mark. So if you're going through a breakup and you just found out that your significant other is cheating on you, this is the song for you. This is some real, like, I want to feel all the things right now. Music. Which I love. Can a wife of yours tell us how to pronounce that correctly? I know.

I just never know. I don't know. I don't know. It's very weird. Oh, by the way, i know i just never know i don't know i don't know it's very weird oh by the way you know we'd ever talked about caitlin bristow when the mirror ball oh i mean are you shocked i'm not i'm not like i saw like the thing that they posted where he was like it was a bachelor nation for me and she she's like, yeah, that was cute. I think he's right. I really listen. They were I think they were both good enough to win that thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was really good. Congrats to Caitlin. I know like she's had such a roller coaster of a season, you know, with the ankle in the beginning and then like a couple of tough weeks with low scores. And she's I know her and I know how hard she worked for it and how much she wanted it so I'm super pumped for her uh and now I'm sad we like made an event out of Dancing with the Stars on Mondays Rye and I and now it's over I know what are we gonna do on Mondays I don't know if I'm being honest I'll find something else to watch I think I really do love Dancing with the Stars honestly I, I just got to say, like, how great for Nelly to have gotten that far. I mean, he slayed.

And as far as somebody that, like, improved so greatly over the course of the season, like, he improved so much. He was slaying it by the end of it. I was just blown away. I think he's amazing. Also, I want to be BFF. So, like, Nelly, let's hang. Well, by the way, I was the one who called that. I called the three of the four people at the end.

Oh, you did. I did. I didn't even watch that show. I feel like it's appropriate to go out with KB's song. I'm here for that. All right, Brandi. I'm thankful for you. Oh.

I'm also thankful for you. Aw. I'm also thankful for you, Wiles. I really am. Yeah, mm-hmm. If she's being honest, she's not, I bet. I am. All right, bye. See you in a while, peers.

I don't need to read it it, hear about it somewhere else. And people who don't like it can turn it off. Love me or love me not, but they don't know me. And I can be hard enough for all of us on myself. And if I'm being honest, I'm not always as tough as I seem. And I can have my moments. What words can get the best of me? This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.