Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Hannah’s dickmatized, Jon Snow’s shafted, and Brandi’s high & bald

Episode Date: May 22, 2019

It is a busy week on YFT with the highly anticipated GOT series finale and possibly the most dramatic and creepy episode two for poor Bachelorette Alabama Hannah. Brandi and Wells lay out what they think should have happened on GOT, why they won’t sign the petition to re-do the season, and really the only redeeming part of the final episode. Also this week, the hosts lay out their favorite suitors for Hannah, the specific insight Wells has on why Luke’s love confession is even creepier than you could imagine, who looks like a serial killer, a 90s dreamboat, Steve Buscemi, the poor man’s Nick Viall, and a hotter Jared Haibon. Brandi also explains why getting your vajay waxed is super fun, Wells contemplates his own sexy hair removal, and both share fave music and shows. Enjoy! Thanks to our super awesome sponsors - check out these deals just for you guys! Get comfy bras that are the perfect fit at ThirdLove! Get 15% off your first order by visiting ThirdLove.com/yft And get a free 30-day trial of OpenFit by texting YFT to 303030

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um so yeah it snowed so that was cool um it's really echoey in here because i moved all my furniture out of my apartment yesterday yeah why so this is all your furniture from your nashville house why did you move all the furniture out? I don't know. What's happening? Oh, because I want a new place, and I haven't decided where I'm going to go yet, so I'm just going to put all my stuff in storage for a couple months until I figure it out.

Why do you want a new place? I don't like the apartment life. Okay. It's not for me. All right. Once you go to a house, it's really hard to go back to an apartment. Agreed. Yeah. You know? It's not for me. All right. Once you go to a house, it's really hard to go back to an apartment. Agreed.

Yeah. You know? And so, since I'm going to be gone so much for the next two months, I was like, you know what? I'm just not going to pay rent, and I'm going to move everything out and figure it out when I get back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, when do you leave to go see Michelle Hilsman? Tomorrow evening. Oh, my God.

Is everything ready? Yeah, it is. I have to finish packing, but like I've pre-packed as much as I could. And yeah, I'm very, just can't wait to crawl into my little pod and start my journey. Oh my God.

Do you have, are you, are you flying first class? I'm in business class, which international, that's like pretty much first. But my sweet sweet sister miley bought my plane ticket for my birthday oh very nice wait what was your birthday it's not it's may 26th okay coming up your birthday just happened though it did just happen

did you have fun i did have fun we went down down to Gulf Shores, Alabama for Hangout Fest. We went crabbing. We caught a bunch of crabs. Sounds sexual, but not. It does sound sexual. Caught a bunch of red fish out in the Gulf. And went to the music fest and saw 1975. They're one of my faves.

Agreed. Everyone say, I look like that guy. I don't know if I see that, but I get that one a lot. Maybe because you both have curly hair, but like you really don't. Yeah, I think it's curly hair and skinny. Looks like dark circles on their eyes. Maybe looks like they have a heroin problem. But he's so pale.

That's true. And I am not pale. And you are not. I am not pale. I'm a tan boy right now. Jealous. So yeah, we saw the 1975. They were great.

I'll tell you who was really good, which shouldn't surprise you at all, but Vampire Weekend killed. Oh, gosh gosh i haven't seen them in forever yeah their new record real good new single fantast maybe i'll play that at the end um and who do we see we were side stage for sir sly which was really cool because they're three oh my gosh i used to play shows with them when i was in a band really yeah they're really good i like a trio nowhere to hide in a three-piece you know um and then what else and then i mean that was the i mean we didn't see we didn't see a lot of music because we were kind of just like mingling around just having a good time and then we really

just wanted to hang out in the dock so it was a lot of fun. Totally didn't think about it. Also, how was I to know, like when we booked this trip and everything, that like Alabama was going to pass this like anti-abortion thing. So like I said, like, I'm down here. Hang out. I'm so excited. And I still don't take that back. Like it's a fun time and it's something I've done for a long time. But like a lot of people were like throwing shade at me,

being like, I can't believe you're there. And I was like, whoa, I didn're there and i was like whoa i didn't even like i guess yeah yeah how would you know how well and i how would i have known when i when we thought of this six months ago or whatever so exactly anyways a lot of people wearing a 1973 shirt which i believe was the year that roe versus wade passed so at first i was, is the 95 changing their name to like two years earlier? Like what's happening? But anyways, it was great. I had a good time.

And I'm 35. Danielle was there. Danielle was there. Kavanaugh. Evan was there. Evan. Yeah. Sounds like a good time.

We had a great time. I'm 35 now though. Do you feel old? I do. And I don't like, I look in the mirror and I'm 35 now, though. Do you feel old? I do and I don't. I look in the mirror and I think to myself, oh, he looks pretty good. You know? Am I going to ding? Got a ding for that? Yeah, you got a ding. That's funny.

But I will admit that I don't look as young as I used to. But like, I will admit that I don't look as young as I used to. But, you know, I think for all intents and purposes, I'm looking okay. Here's the thing. I think guys age like so much better than women. It's really unfair. Yeah. I'm graying a little bit, but I think it kind of looks cool. I don't know.

Is that weird? I'm into it. Michelle Huseman has some gray hair and I think it's sexy. Yeah. I don't know. It's such? I like gray hair. I'm into it. Michelle Huseman has some gray hair and I think it's sexy. Yeah. I don't know. It's such a double standard. Guys win at everything when it comes to everything between genders.

It's so unfair. I'm sitting over here getting grays being like, I think it looks kind of good. Sarah gets one and she's like going straight to 901 gotta get this thing out the nice thing is though gray hair is like the least of my worries you can just dye it like who cares yeah exactly listen i've always said i've always said i don't care what color it is as long as it's still in my scalp. There you go. That's so true.

Great point. Yeah, but the wrinkles is now a thing where you can just Botox that shit right out of there. You can. But dudes look kind of good with wrinkles. I see another double standard. I know.

You know? You want to start the show? Oh yeah, we should probably do that yeah you you go I think it's your turn oh me yeah you go okay bros and hoes you're listening to your favorite thing podcast with wells and brand day last week we had tish so funny I was like I feel like I haven't talked to you in a long time but that's because last week was with tish and it felt different yeah so how was going to Miami with your mom? It was great.

It ran the entire time, of course. But she loved it. She said it was her favorite birthday ever. We went shopping and she bought herself a lot of nice things, which honestly, like my mom doesn't really do that very often. She doesn't really spend money on herself often. So it's fun for her to go and do that. I was just encouraging really spend money on herself often so it's fun for her to like go and do that i was just like encouraging her to buy whatever she wanted i was

like get it get it you know and she loved it and we went had some really great food we went to this new-ish restaurant called swan okay mega fan highly recommend if you're in miami do they serve actual swan there they do not just goose but it's cool the decor is really really cool it's like like french vintage kind of on the inside of the restaurant but then they have like a whole second floor that's like a private lounge and it's like dark and moody and cool and like all the different rooms upstairs have a totally different vibe to it it's really really neat all right part owned by pharrell also oh okay was he there with his big hat he was not there yeah does he still wear the hat i don't know i'm not sure about that the thing for a minute there it was a thing for a minute there and we were all like what's happening something must be happening on the top of his head from me wearing this hat to cover up what's going on.

You know? It was a very tall hat. Well, I'm glad that you and your moms had a good time. You know what my favorite thing is? You and your mom are like legit best friends. Oh, yeah. Besties. Yeah.

Like when you guys go out, do you guys pretend to be sisters oh we don't have to that's what everyone assumes yeah so but like does she like roll into that like this is my sister loves it well what happens see what happens is like we go like especially when we're shopping or something like we'll go and i you know when i talk to her i call her mom so i'll be like mom look at this and they'll go mom i thought you guys were sisters every like without fail every single place we go it's insane and she's like oh stop and i'm like keep telling her she loves it well i don't know what she's doing what she's eating or who she's seeing but it's working honestly she's not she's not doing anything it's so annoying she doesn't even go to like Nurse Jamie. She doesn't go to Nurse Jamie.

She'll Botox like twice a year which is not even as often as you're supposed to and that's all she does. She doesn't do anything. She eats horribly, doesn't work out. The one thing she does do though is like she's always used really good skincare. Yeah.

You know, like she's always been really good about like washing her face and moisturizing and doing all that but she doesn't put anything crazy on her face like i think i put more on mine than she does yeah dude moisturizing is key and like dude and i think that's a thing that's happening with guys now is guys are realizing that you know like i remember a couple years ago i was i was like i was hanging out like camping, man, my brother and my dad. And I was like putting on my, my face moisturizer.

And they're like, what are you doing? And I was like, I'm putting on moisturizer. They're like, okay, dude, what are you a chick? And I was like, listen, all right. Like, I don't know. I think I'm supposed to do this. And then now like fast forward five years, my brother has, like, because he's 13 years older than me, and he, like, puts, like, eye serum on and masks. And he's just like, whatever I got to do to keep it tight.

It's hilarious. Like a full regimen. Yeah. It's important. Skincare is important. Yeah, man. You got to keep that epidermis. You only get one face, you know.

Very true. All right. Well, we got a lot to unpack today. I got to be honest with you. I don't know if you want to do GOT or if you want to do him. Hannah Bama. Yeah. We got to do both.

I know. I don't know. You want to do first, though. Oh, I'm so sad. Like, not only was I so sad it was the last Game of Thrones episode, but I'm sad it's our last Game of Thrones recap. I know. I've thoroughly enjoyed this. I don't know how much the listeners

enjoyed it. I think they like it. You think so? I mean, the ones that watch Game of Thrones for sure. I mean, people that don't think so? I mean, the ones that watch Game of Thrones, for sure. I mean, people that don't watch it probably don't. Yeah, I mean, I just, I don't know, man. Like, yes, I'm excited. I'm sad that it's over, but I'm also like, I don't know.

Like, now it's a thing. You know, like, when I was doing the Harry Potter thing, it was like a thing we were doing, you know? I know. So we got to get a new thing. Got to have a new thing. But I will say this. Oh my God.

Okay, before we get into all that, there are a couple of things I'm just excited about that like I haven't seen yet. Okay? Me too. Number one, the show Chernobyl. I haven't seen it yet, but everyone- I was just about to say that.

Really? Yeah, that's like the top of my list to watch. So like sad GOTs out but like all right just jumping into the next thing all right and then so i guess was it before gots last episode where the guy from uh is it aaron paul he was on um breaking bad breaking bad yeah and he it's like the futuristic did you see this this trailer is it for watchmen no so it's And it's like futuristic. Did you see this trailer? Is it for Watchmen? No.

So it's like Aaron Paul futuristic world that he's living in. It looks like he's a little bit like of a bank robber or something. There's a scene where he blows up a wall and they're walking out with bags. And he's kind of narrating it. And he's driving this of narrating it. And he's like driving this like really cool, like futuristic motorcycle. And, uh, and he says something like, yeah, I'm just looking for someone, you know, to make my life whole or something like that. And he comes, he goes, listen, just listen.

And he goes under the bridge, go under this bridge. And this girl is like, kind of like up against, uh, uh the wall she's wearing the hood and all of a sudden she pulls it back and it's uh the main girl from west world what and that's when it goes boom west world season three oh no way yeah so now so now she gets out of west world and now she's out like in the real world as a robot. I hope it's better than season two. I had a really hard time keeping paying attention to season two. I know I dropped off too but you know who

ripped through it was Sarah so she can kind of catch me up to date. That's so interesting. The Watchmen series also looks great. It does. And Big Little Lies season two is coming in. I'm excited for that. Me too. Mainly because that's my hometown, so it's fun to be like, oh, that's where I used to get coffee or whatever, you know?

Because they really shoot it there, huh? Yeah. Well, they really shoot it. They call it Monterey, but they're really shooting in Carmel, which is like the nicer. You drinking some box wine over there? Box water. Oh, you drinking some box wine over there? Box water. Oh, you drinking some box water over there. Yeah.

I could be drinking a little whiskey though. I need to finish it. Oh yeah? Why? Because it's going to go bad or something? Well, because I'm going to move out of the apartment. I'm not going to take you with me. Make yourself a drink.

Kick your feet up. It's so early. It's five. Yeah. So those are some shows I'm not going to take you with me make yourself a drink kick your feet up it's so early it's 5 so those are some shows I'm excited about there's a lot of good stuff coming out things I'm not excited about GOT season 8 episode 6

ok here's the thing. If you're going to play the music for some reason, it cuts in and out when you talk and I can't hear what you're saying. All right. I don't know why it does that. I'm going to play a little bit of it just to get people in the mood.

Okay. I'm not one of those people that wants to sign a petition because that's so dumb to like have them remake it no i'm not that's not what i'm about no i guess i'm upset because okay here's my initial thought it seems like they went with the person that no one was expecting to get the throne for shock value and for everyone to be like, Neru, it's on coming. But I think sometimes, guys, you can acquiesce to the audience and give them a little bit of what they want. Agreed.

and give them a little bit of what they want. Agreed. No one wants Bran, the three-eyed raven, on the throne. Only because he was kind of annoying in this last season. All he said so pretentiously was, I'm the three-eyed raven. Okay. Great. Also, Bran the Broken is the most fucked up nickname

to give somebody. Yeah, why did they call him that? I never understood that. I was like, why? Poor kid's a fucking paraplegic. Been rolling around this entire. He's been getting. He got to walk in one episode.

The first one. And ever since then, he's been getting dragged around on a gurney. Freaking trying to save everyone from White Walkers, warging into shit. And then you're going to come at him with, all right, brand the broken over here. Have some respect for your king. It is pretty horrible. What are your thoughts? I mean, that's my initial thought.

Yeah. Here's the thing. I was loving the episode. I loved when john killed danny it was such a tragic kind of romeo and juliet ish situation and i loved that moment then right after that it turned to shit like the minute that was over it all was downhill and i hated the whole rest of the episode yeah i don't really understand why gray worm has any power or any say in this like exactly and okay so here's my annoyance with first of all tyrian it basically gets marched down to like that little council or whatever and who called them by the way who

called them and said everyone come convene here because danny's dead and john's in prison who did that yeah i don't know and then all of a sudden and they and they bring tyrian down and he is you know about to get killed and then all of a sudden he somehow flips the script and is like basically anointing the next king how did that happen i don't know you know it was not yeah it was not thought out and like i really just was like i get that drogo gone or whatever his name is is dan he's dragon but like john's targaryen he should have hopped on the freaking dragon and gray worm couldn't take an imprisoner john did not think this john has not been smart this season no here's my complaint with the whole thing is john should

be the king i don't know i don't understand so let me get this straight john has done nothing but be a badass this entire time all right he died came back to life for not to what be king of the freaking night's wash who cares yeah so the way that he and then he had to do is he had to kill the woman he loved because she was getting kind of cray. And all he gets is to go back to be in the night watch to never have sex with anybody again. That's his reward. No, thank you. The only redeeming moment of the whole thing was him being reunited with Ghost.

Yes. Agreed. Agreed. That redeemed it for me a lot, but I was still being reunited with Ghost. Yes. Agreed. Agreed. That redeemed it for me a lot, but I was still pissed. Still annoying. And also Sansa being like, but I still want to be the queen of the north. I know.

Okay, we get it. All right. I don't know. I thought for sure Tyrion was Targaryen too, and I'm really annoyed that that wasn't revealed in the show. And I've got a feeling that George Martin, R.R. Martin or whatever, the books are going to end so much different than the show did. You think? Yes.

I hope so. I don't know. But anyways. I also hated that they spent so much time at the end, like doing these little things where like they see you see Arya sailing west and you see Jon riding north and and it like leaves it open ended. Right. For like, oh, maybe a spinoff. But we already know the spinoff is a prequel. Yeah, I know. It's not going to have anything to do with any of those characters. So why waste all of those minutes, like,

leaving it so open-ended for everybody if you're not going to go and do anything off, spinoff of it? You know what I mean? It was such a waste of TV time to me. Yeah. I'm thinking that Jon's freezing his little nuts off up north, hating everything, and he's like, yeah, I should not have killed her.

One, I'd be king with Daenerys. Yeah, she's a little cray, but you know what? Maybe I'll be able to reel her in. Two, be getting to have sex with so hot Emilia Clarke. Number three, not having

to never get to have sex again, because I've been part of the Night's Watch. Maybe get to still ride a dragon around every once in a while, you know, when Daenerys is, you know, not wanting to ride. I don't know. It's just so... Ugh.

I know. I've defended this season this entire time up until the end. Mm-hmm. I just did. It was definitely a letdown. Yeah. So anyways.

But we're talking about it. How did we go this whole season without Arya doing the face swap? Well, didn't she do it to kill the guy who killed everyone in the Red Wedding? Was that in this season? I don't know. But I agree. Like, her superpower was so underutilized. I know.

Like, they spent so much time in a previous season on that whole storyline for her to not ever use it again. I just don't get that. Totally agreed. So confused. Anyways. I know. Such a bummer that it ended like that,

but what are you going to do? You know what people love? People love stories. And you know who's got the best story? The guy who's basically only said, I'm the three-eyed raven for the past seven episodes. No, you know who's got the best story? How about the guy who grew up his entire life as a bastard child

only to find out that he's the true heir of the Targaryen throne. Oh, and what's another story? He died one time and came back to life. Oh, yeah. And he had to kill the one woman he loved because she went crazy. Tyrion, that's a pretty great story. Oh, let's take that guy's story and send up to Sh shitsville freaking north county where he's got to hang out an icebox the rest of his life no i'm so annoyed at that i know even danny like it's fine that she went mad queen all at the end and i get it i get why but at the same time like it is a bummer that after everything she's been through and all this good things she did do like liberating all the slaves and

everything like it that her story had to end that way it was a bummer also yeah i just here's what i just don't think that that's the best heir to the throne is what i think agreed even though the three-eyed raven is the throne on the throne he knows let's go, whatever, dude. That's insane. All right, let's switch gears. Okay. All right, so my sister is, we're like T-minus a couple weeks away from my sister having that baby. That's crazy. I know.

And so she was looking for like, is it bras for people who are pregnant? Is that what it's called? Maternity. Maternity stuff. And so she's been called? Maternity. Maternity stuff. And so she's been raving about this. There it is. There it is.

She's been raving about third love, and I know you've been doing it too. Yeah. You know what I love about this company is, so their whole shtick is that they have more sizes than a regular lingerie company, right? So instead of just your typical like ABC cup bras, they have like B and a half, like C and a half and then D.

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So they do free returns and free exchanges. So I just sent it back and ordered like the next half size down and it fit perfectly. Oh, wow. Yeah. I feel like guys have known that boobs are not just A, B, C, and D. We've known that there are specific, there are different sizes. You paying real good attention over there? Every guy's like, yeah, she's about a C and a half, you know?

I do like that they have the fit finder quiz. You answer a few simple questions, a five-year find your perfect fit, and it just takes like a minute. So that's cool. And like I said, if what they send you doesn't fit perfectly, then you have 60 days. You can even wear it, wash it, all that. And in 60 days, if you're not happy with it, you send it back and you can exchange it for something else. And the best part is when you do return a used bra, they donate it to a woman in need, which is really cool. I think that's so awesome, by the way. Yeah.

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Yay, boobs. You got any fave things? I haven't done a whole lot this week, to be honest. I got a favorite thing. What is it? Played it on the beach the other day. Oh, I do have a favorite thing. Good.

Okay. I was talking to myself just then no i know we heard you i talked to myself a lot do you i think i'm getting old i i used to talk to myself a lot as a child that's a little scarier i think i know right but i think i honestly think that i used to talk to feather so much i'm used to like talking to technically no one and it not and it being OK because there is a dog here and now I talk out loud, but there's no one else here. I know you need to get yourself a dog. I don't know.

I'm not ready. Yeah, I understand. On the beach, we played this game that I used to play. It was not in college. It was post-college and it has a couple of different names. Frisbeer is one of them. Ski Poles of Death is another. Have you ever heard of this game before?

No. So much fun. Okay, so basically what you do is you get a PVC pipe or a pole or whatever, and you shove them in the ground. And then there's two of them. And then you put a beer bottle on top of the pole. And then it's two teams. So it's like two people at this pole

and two people on the other pole and you're on the same team as the guy that you're next to and you try to throw the Frisbee and knock the bottle off. And if you do that, you get three points. But the other team can catch it and if they catch it, then, then, then they don't lose three points. And also that you have to catch the Frisbee every time.

And if you miss the Frisbee, it's one point anyways, it's like the most fun drinking game in the world. Really? Yeah. So it's called, I mean, I think a lot of people have different names for it,

but Frisbeer is one. And I always knew it as ski poles to death. That's because I had a bunch of buddies who lived in Denver. So there you go. I have a favorite and I gotta find it though. Okay. How come it doesn't show your followers in order of when you followed them? I don't know.

That's really frustrating. You got a favorite follow on Insta? Yeah, but I forgot the handle and now I gotta find it. Who is that? do you ever go through and be like who do i follow oh yeah i'm constantly going doing that and then sometimes it's like just a random person who i've never met who have like 16 followers it's like a grandma i'm like what happened when did i do this oh you know what i took a screenshot of it because I knew this would happen. Do you follow passenger shaming?

Oh, yes, of course. Passenger shaming is the best. It's insane. Have you ever sent them photos to post? Yes, I have. I was thinking like I'm sure Wells has gotten some good. There is some crazy stuff on here. Okay, so just so everyone knows, passenger shaming is basically like crazy pictures

of people doing crazy things on airplanes. It is insane. Like it's a lot of like, it's a lot of like people with gross feet putting their feet on like the armrest of your seat. And you're like, what the fuck? There's a freaking monkey on this plane. Yeah, I know.

Well, have you seen the one where someone is, well, they're sleeping like naked in their pod or whatever? Yeah. And then I like the one where someone is drying out their underwear from the air vent. Oh my God. Oh, this one is insane. This chick has her hair like over the seat.

Like, are you kidding me? But you know what sucks? Like if I saw this, I would not have the balls to say anything. I'm so like not confrontational that I would be so pissed. But I honestly, what would you say? Like, excuse me, did you remove your insanely long hair from my seat? Especially if there's like TV screen, I'd be like, hey, I can't watch. I can't watch, you know,

Fixer Upper. Because I love that show. It's crazy. It's a great follow-up. If you fly at all, it's very, very funny. Even if you don't fly at all, it's pretty great. Now I'm going to be on the lookout for pictures I can send them.

Hey, baby. Hey, baby. Hi, baby. I just got out of my thingy. Yeah. And I'm going to be heading over to Panda's right now to say a quick hello to her. Got it. Well, Brandy and I are recording this pod or so. Do your thing.

And then I'm going to go on a run afterwards. So. Okay, cool. I love you, baby. Love you, too. Text me. Text me when you get home from your thing. And then I'm going to go on a run afterwards. Okay, cool. I love you, baby. I love you, too. Text me when you get home from your run. Okay, I will. All right.

I love you. Bye-bye. Hey, we should go to get some groceries tonight. We should. That is definitely something we should do. For sure. All right. Love you, babe.

Bye. I love you more. Bye. Bye-bye. You guys are so domestic. I could die. We should really go to the grocery store, babe. Bye. I love you more. Bye. Bye-bye. You guys are so domestic, I could die. We should really go to the grocery store, babe. Well, so I've been gone for

I was gone for like 17 days straight. I know. So there's nothing here. Like so much of it there's like no paper towels and like garbage bags. You guys don't Amazon Prime that stuff? Well well she did the other day and then it got she got a refund for whatever reason so oh weird i amazon prime everything

now that whole foods will get delivered to your door i'm like i never have reason to go to the store it's everything you're crazy uh wait what was it, so going back to like passion shaming. So I on my flight back from from Pensacola from Hangout Fest. Oh, so annoying, too. So Sarah was in first class and my brother had gotten, you know, regular economy. But he's like he's like platinum. I've told you about how he goes on these like mileage runs. So he gets like. Oh, oh yeah yeah yeah so so he and his wife were moved up to first class so i was what airline american so i know no you don't love but whatever um so i was the only guy in economy which is totally fine or normal but it's okay i don't want to come across as pretentious it only sucks when all of your friends are in first class and you're not. You're the only one. You're like, oh, come on, guys. So I was like going up there being like, what's happening up here?

What are you guys eating? Like trying everyone's food. Like, can I come hang out? And they're like, got to go back. You know, maybe you'd work a little bit harder. You'd be up here with us. This always happens when I'm flying with my mom because her bougie ass is always in first class. And like me and Noah will be back in coach and we'll always go up there and bother her.

We're like, can we have your food? Can we have your alcohol? Yeah. Can we have all your things? So I was sitting next to this guy. And so he was one of those three, three, threes. Right. So I was in the middle three and I was on the on the aisle, like on the right hand side so this uh this guy who is definitely not from our country number one he was dipping the

whole time like he was like and and i don't i don't know if you can and i don't really have a problem with it but like dip is a very strong smelling substance you You know? Where I was just like, okay, man, it's time for Copenhagen round seven. And he was spitting into the throw-up bag where I was just like, okay. You should have put this on passenger shaming.

I know. But here's the thing. So I'm a big proponent of if you're the middle seat, it's your God-given right as an American to get both armrests because you're in a shit situation. All right. I get it. Yep. So if I'm ever in the middle seat, I am jockeying for that armrest.

That's all you get. That's all you've got in life is the armrest. But he so I acquiesce to that because I'm a good guy. But he was extending past the armrest threshold into my seat area. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. So the whole time, him and I are playing elbow fight game. I don't know.

It doesn't have a name yet, but we'll come up with one. Where I was just like, no. No, sir. I don't know. It doesn't have a name yet, but we'll come up with one. Where I was just like, no! No, sir! This is my area! And he was just like, he was just like, I don't care. I'm gonna fucking dip Copenhagen and spit it in this bag and take

all in the room. I don't know if he was French, but anyways. And then I walk up there and it was like lay flats, and then all my, and then I walk up there and there, it was like lay flats and like Sarah and Brett were like watching freaking amazing television.

And I was just like, I want to be up here with you. You and Sarah are so tiny. Couldn't you fit in the same seat? Well, yeah, she was like, just lay down here.

And I was like, I don't know if this, I'm a, I'm a big rule follower. And I was like, I don't think that's allowed, you know? Yeah, it's probably not, but I don't know, but you probably could have gotten away with it, honestly. Probably could have, but didn't try. Wait, hold on. This made me

so laugh so hard today. Okay. So in Mexico, Jose Cuervo, it's my favorite thing. Jose Cuervo is operating a luxury train ride from Guadalajara, the town of Tequila. By the way, did you know there was a town named Tequila? Yeah. You did? How is everyone not dead in that town? So anyways, this train, the passengers get to learn more about harvesting agave or whatever. So it's like the Napa wine train or whatever.

And along the way, passengers have access to unlimited tequila all day on the train. That's amazing. Yeah, but also sounds like everyone dies at the end of it. You know? Well, it's impossible. Everyone's just like diarrhea-ing everywhere everywhere and be like this was a horrible decision and then when they get and they get to the town of tequila where everyone's just it's just full of like sorority girls just like

and people dying left and right and being like, this was a bad call. That's insane. Maybe we should go give it a try. No. No one should do this. This is horrible. All right. So straight up, I need to get in shape because I may or may not be on TV soon.

And first of all, camera, 10 pounds, real thing. Also want to keep it tight for, you know, myself, my girl and, you know, people who are watching TV.

I don't want them to be like, wow, he's really let himself go. So I've started to do open fit. Nice. Yeah. You doing that or what? You know what?

I actually just decided I need to try it because I have really let myself go. I have not worked out since before the Caitlin Bristow tour I did, which was like the beginning of March. It's been really bad. But when you travel, it's hard to get into the gym. So I have been very intrigued with OpenFit because I can just work out straight from my laptop no matter where I'm at. You got to get it tight for a Michelle Hilsman. I know I can't be that girlfriend that like lets herself go when she's got him locked in. You know, I got to stay hot. Yeah, everyone's bodies are different and OpenFit gets that, which is why

it's personalized to your needs with custom tailored original content. They've got amazing trainers in classes like OpenFit classes are led by some of the most effective and engaging trainers in the world. Sculpt Your Body with Andrea Rogers, founder of the worldwide sensation X, Extend Bar. Have you done that one? It's Extend Bar. So this is actually what sold me on this,

is I used to go to Extend Bar classes in Nashville, and when I was doing extend bar, like five days a week, I was in the best shape of my life, but I can't go to the same studio every day of the week. So the fact that I can do extend bar on my laptop is a game changer for me. Yeah. Like you were saying on your laptop, you can view it on your computer. It's web enabled. It's a, it's TV, tablet, smartphone, like everything. So it's super easy to do. You can lose up to 15 pounds in just the first 30 days, flatten them abs, which is, that's what I'm working on right now. Right now during the open fit 30 day challenge, our listeners can get

a special extended 30 day free trial membership to open fit. And all you have to do is text YFT to 303030. Really? They're getting 30 days free? Yeah, a whole month. Oh, all right. You'll get full access to OpenFit, all the workouts, nutrition information, totally free. Again, just text YFT to 303030. I mean, that's pretty easy to remember, I feel like. I think I should probably go work out right now, actually. I know, right? Yeah. It's snowing. I'm going to have tacos and then I'm going to do it a little bit later.

Okay. Do you want to get into The Bachelorette or what do you want to do? Yep, I do. Okay, so. I told myself, I was like, I'm not going to watch this season. Yeah. Here we are. Dude, I tell you what, man. They told myself, I was like, I'm not going to watch this season. Yeah. Here we are. Dude, I tell you what, man. They're getting into the drama ep two.

I didn't think that was even possible. It's insane. They just had a rose ceremony. That's it. And then ep two comes and you already got drama. So let's just go through it. How do you feel about Luke P? Are you freaking kidding me yeah how okay i don't understand how she doesn't see through this like how on earth

is she attracted to this guy she's dick she's dickmatized dude straight up i don't understand it and honestly like first impression him him and I get that they produced the hell out of it. But his intro package or whatever, where he's like, I love the Lord so much. He really changed my life. And then he's like in the shower in the next scene. And he's like, yeah, I think I'm a good looking guy. And he's like saying all this cocky stuff. I'm like, oh, my gosh, dude, you walked right into this into this well they make him look so douchey yeah well okay girl's got a type because that dude looks exactly like colton i wouldn't say he looks like colton but he's the same type of guy as colton for sure okay dirty blonde hair colton's

much cuter than this guy some sc scruff on the face. Nice smile. Works out way too much. Yeah. Like, built like a freaking... If superheroes were real, that's what they would look like in real life. I guess so. I think his legs are way too big.

They gross me out. Yeah, but she's straight up digmatized. You know she is. I know. I just don't understand. How, like you, I mean, she has to go into this and know, like, there's always one douchebag that's like, that does all this stuff way too early and is like way too into it and ends up being a psycho.

Well, okay. I was on, I was on, um, on Lauren Zima's show today and we were talking about it and I was on Lauren Zima's show today, and we were talking about it, and I was going through the timeline of it all. Because I think that's the thing that's maybe lost on some people. Because I went on the first group date, which is what that was, right? That was the first group date where they went to the drag thing, and he says, I'm starting to fall in love with

you which is the weirdest thing to say i'm i think i'm starting to fall who says that you know psychopath it's either i'm following in love with you or i'm or i'm not whatever like starting to fall in love with you what that's that's like me saying i was pre-approved for a discovery card but i don't have a discovery card yet you know like it doesn't make any sense but anyway so we were talking about yeah we were talking about the timeline of it all okay so the first night is a whirlwind but you really talk to her like when you get out of the limo and then you hopefully have like five minutes to talk to her at some point and then really it is just a lot of like everyone trying to meet her then there's a rose ceremony and then there's like a cheers and then you go back to a hotel and then the next day

you come back to the mansion and then there's a date card and then you go on that first date. And then you talk to the girl while you're on that date. We're talking a maximum of 20 minutes of talking to somebody at this point. Maximum. To say that I think I'm starting to fall in love with you? What? After 20 minutes?

And like, he's, you know, he sits her down or whatever and tells her like, I started to fall in love with you even before we met. Okay, that's freaking creepy. Yeah. Like it's one thing to be like,

I saw you on TV and thought you were so beautiful or whatever, but it's a whole nother thing to be like i was falling in love with you through the freaking television are you kidding me it's a little stalkery you know very it's a little bit like it's a bit obsessive yeah it's like the guy that like hangs out outside taylor swift's house and like does creepy stuff and you know whatever and he just gets this look on his face where his eyes get really big and you and like you can see the crazy yeah for sure it was just a lot I mean I don't know but like you know who knows how it'll go down but well the scary thing is the girls have such a high track record of ending up with

the guy they give the first impression rose to. I'm like, please, God, no. I know, man. Okay, so who do you like? There's two that really stand out to me right now. Peter, the pilot. Is he the one that kind of looks a little bit younger? He does look a little young.

He's cute. I think he is young. I think he's in his 20s for sure. I mean, she's young though, right? Peter, the pilot, seems cool cool and then the really tall guy is his name connor yeah i think so yeah is he the guy that did like flash dance or like did footloose or whatever for his opening thing oh god i mean that was kevin that was kevin you know who i like i Yeah, I don't think so. I like Tennessee Jed. You do? I do. I think he's, well, like, during that group date, you know, he was, I'm sure he was like, I got this one in the bag.

He's too nice. I'm going to sing her. Too nice. I'm going to sing a song for her. And then, like, freaking Luke P's talent is saying something creepy to a woman, basically. It's insane. I know. But then.

Can we please stop putting musicians from Nashville on the show? Can we get some normal Nashville dudes? Like how long is the actual I was I was on the show. More of people like me. Yes, normal people.

Well, yeah. God, my season, there were like four people from Nashville. There was one musician, right? James Taylor? No, he was from, at the time, yeah. God, my season, there were like four people from Nashville. Yeah. There was one musician, right? James Taylor. No, he was from, at the time, Atlanta. Oh. I think Luke Pell was the musician from my season. Oh, that's right. And then James, your friend, the boxer.

Yeah, the boxing coach. But they didn't even say that's what he did. I forget what they said he did. Anyway. Yeah, I don't know. the boxing coach, but they didn't even say that's what he did. I forget what they said he did. Anyway. Yeah. Those are my, those are the two that stand out to me right now that I'm like, Oh, those are nice guys. And they're pretty cute. Wait, Sarah really likes the black guy.

What's his name? Is it Mike? I like Mike too. Yeah. I like him a lot. He's the guy that like went and visited his grandma, his great grandma for before. Yeah.

That was adorable. And he, and he called out Luke for B or yeah, that was adorable. And he called out Luke for being kind of crazy. Was like, what are you doing? Yeah, I do like him too. Thoughts on Connor?

No, no, no. Is it Con? Cam. Cam. Oh my God, get him out of here. They're going to keep him around because he's good TV, but he drives me freaking crazy. He looks a little serial killer-esque, you know? He dresses like a-

He says ABC always be cam one more gosh dang time, I swear. I'm going to throw something at the television. I know. Also, what's annoying about that is that's such a Jordan thing, like a Jordism, where you're just, like, even thinking about saying this for so long and you're so excited about it, but it's dumb. And also, like, that's not, the saying is always be closing, which makes more sense, especially in this dating show. You should be trying to close with her, you know? Yeah.

But, like, it shouldn't be always be can't cam it's insane it should be always being creepy because that's what you are dude like the way that you like part your hair even looks like okay do you remember in um billy madison steve buscemi's character yes okay steve buscemi's character. Yes. Okay. Steve Buscemi's character, like, Billy's nice to him, so he doesn't murder him, but he ends up murdering the principal. He's got, like, the same, like,

the way that, like, Steve Buscemi's hair is parted looks exactly like the cam dude. Yeah, he's the other one where, like, you can see it in his eyes they get all psychopath looking yeah it's insane uh the other okay it cracks me up how like every season they have like one like 90s dream boat you know what i mean like last season it was jason jason so 90s i could die with his hair and this season season it's John Paul Jones. Oh yeah. Literally looks like a, like a skinny, tall J Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

No, he looks like Heath Ledger. All 10 things I hate about you. Or the, yeah, totally. Yeah. It's,

it's everything. I love it. How like, there's always one where I'm like, you just stepped out of a nineties teen bop magazine. Yeah, I know. But I,

if I was Hannah and someone came up to me and it's like, my name is John Paul Jones. My friends call me John Paul Jones. You can call me John Paul Jones. I'm like, nope, I'm not. I'm going to call you. See you later, dude, because that's fucking weird. There's a limo. I liked it. No way, dude. That's so weird. It was like it was a good effort for her to not forget his name. You got to give him that. It was a good effort for her to not forget his name. You got to give him that. If he said, hey, my name is John Paul Jones.

My friends call me John Paul Jones. You can call me whatever you want. I'd have been fine with that. But like, you got to call me by this crazy three name thing. No, stop it. Okay, bro. I thought it was funny. And he rode the hell out of that unicycle down that catwalk. I was impressed.

That's not easy to do, by the way. Very impressed by that hilarious anyways um standouts i mean like so so far i really only know jed i'm just trying to think of like jed luke p and cam um let me see if i can find the names of the guys i just don't really know the their names yet but But I will say this. Just from someone who's watched the show a bunch and who was on it, I think I can pick up on things better than most people can. And it's interesting that so-and-so's getting a lot of camera time and

I don't really know why, you know, like you can kind of do that. Let me find, let me find all the guys. Meet Hannah's bachelors. Okay. So there's Brian, who everyone says is like me. He's the math teacher. And I will, I will say that like, I don't think he looks like me, but I can see how people would say that he's like me because of like, he's kind of neur and and just saying kind of funny stuff in his interviews you know i need to look up

his name's matt no his name's brian he's the math teacher from louisville oh and there's cam okay whatever the box guy not into it um the first thing that pops up meet math teacher Brian yeah exactly who do I think is going to do well you know who I Garrett the pro golfer I'll say this Garrett the pro golfer which one's he he's the guy that looks like everyone else the same like coiffed hair and everything oh yes

he's getting a lot of time for a guy that doesn't really have a story right now so I'm interested in that I really like grant the unemployed guy oh my gosh i don't know anything about him well he had this one funny line where like after jed sang in that day grant was like well it's over now i don't know what i'm gonna do it's like that's such an unemployed guy thing to say like well I'm losing this one. I'm going to go home. No. Okay, wait. Who's the guy that had the one-on-one this week?

He's the guy that looked like Tim Tebow or... Is it Ty? Is that his name? It's either Tyler or Kevin. I think it's Tyler. He is like... He was very unassuming to me. Like when she picked him for the one-on-one,

I was like, really? And like, he's... I don't know. Like his he's pretty eyes but other than that i'm just like really but actually i thought he came across as very very genuine on his date oh yeah tyler g is that him yeah he looks like uh he looks like a like a better looking jared high bond or Jared Highbond or however you say it. Like if Jared went to the gym every once in a while. Okay, I could see that. But didn't you think he came across pretty dang genuine?

I think he seemed nervous to me. Okay, hold on. Okay, hold on. Let's just have some justice for Chicken McNuggets, though, real quick. Alright, I don't care how crazy cam is don't you be going throwing chicken mcnuggets on like perfectly good chicken mcnuggets on the ground unacceptable i think it was kevin who did that kevin come on brah yeah i don't know

and also like luke s looks like well he's the one that's like the poor man's nick vial oh yes i know you're talking about he looks like a kid who like painted on a beard. I don't know, man. He does look very Nick Viall-esque. Yeah, I know. Now that you're saying that. But yeah, Mike, the 31-year-old portfolio manager, the black dude, big fan of that guy. Oh, you know the other guy that I can't really tell if I like his personality a ton, but Devin.

Maybe it's Devin. I don't know if I found Devin. Devin's interesting to me. I'm anxious to see how he turns out. Yeah. He was the one that gave her tissues when she started crying for a reason. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy.

He's kind of cute. Well, we're in for it now, sister. All right. You said you weren't gonna watch it now they got us locked in they got me hooked they got you hooked listen i eat my justification is like i have to watch this so that i know these people when i go to watch paradise it's true because i do like paradise yeah everyone likes everyone loves paradise you know so i need to i need to know who these people are before i watch them on yeah this is your homework yeah homework oh my god how

could i forget you know what my new freaking favorite thing is what getting waxed with late with laughing gas oh yeah i did it you did did it. Okay, so I posted a whole bunch of stories of my friend Adam getting basically his entire body waxed because I got a Brazilian, which I obviously can't put on my Instagram. For Michelle Hussman. Yes, exactly. But I am here to tell you, it was a freaking game changer. Really? Have you ever heard

anything waxed? No. Nothing ever? No. Why would I get something waxed? It is the most painful, sucky thing on the face.

Like, there's no getting around it. Like, it freaking sucks. Yeah, I believe that. Laughing gas changes everything. So, it's so cool. It's not like,

so the dentist, they put the thing over your nose to get you high. This one here, they give you, like, like this hose just put it right in your vagina self-administered and you just like and they clip your nose so that you don't let any oxygen in and you're just inhaling like straight nitrous i got high so quick okay was this in a hotel room huh was this in a hotel room or a music festival this doesn't seem legitimate place this is a hotel room or a music festival? This doesn't seem legitimate. This is a legitimate place.

They have their own brick and mortar storefront. And the girl that runs it is an anesthesiologist. She knows what she's doing. So the anesthesiologist is the one that gives you the laughing gas. And then the esthetician is the one that waxes you or whatever. And I got... So apparently if you don't drink a lot and if you don't smoke weed or don't do anything like that, you get higher quicker from the laughing gas. Like it hits you quicker. So it hit me real fast cause I don't do anything. And it was amazing. Like there were maybe two

poles where I was like, Oh, that kind of hurt. But I, but other than that, like I didn't feel anything. And I was so happy that I didn't care that the two ones hurt. And was your brain doing the... No, I was like chatting it up with the girl that was waxing me and like having a big old time. Wow. It's great. I loved it. I will never get waxed another way. Well, all right.

I'm into it. I mean, the things you do for some GFD outcome is just amazing. What was funny too is I went in, I guess it was Sunday evening. I went in like five o'clock and as I was coming in, the girl was like,

oh, she was like, she was like, it's so funny. The girl that just left here, we asked her how she heard about us and she said on someone's podcast and it was ours. So the girl had heard me talk about it last week and I already went in to try it.

Well, they need to freaking advertise with us. I know was like oh people do listen to us and actually take our recommendations um but i am here to say that i actually have done it i did it i will never do it another way it was phenomenal man genius well i'm all for it adam waxed his back his chest and his stomach and the back of his hairline. He, like, did his whole freaking body. Thank you. Dean and I were hanging out, I don't know what it was, a couple weeks ago, and he was like, you know,

I'm about to go do a bunch of hiking around China, and I was really thinking about naring my asshole, and I was like, why? And he's like, well, he's like, you know, I feel like that would just, I would be cleaner down there if I had no hair, and I'm doing a lot of walking, so it might make chafing a little bit better. And I was like, yeah, okay.

So I was like, please do this and report back because yeah, I'll do that too. I don't want to get a wax, but if it's just like nair and it like, just like falls off, it's fine. But I feel like nair burns a lot and you don't want it burning in your asshole region, you know? No, I think you need to go to this place and get the laughing gas if you want to get your butthole waxed yeah but i can't imagine like putting my legs behind my head and having some woman wax my that's not what you do you pull your knees to your chest even worse and then no i can't it's not that bad And also I'll be like looking them in the eye Being like this is the life

Path you've chosen Oh my god I loved it I think that's a good idea It's a great idea it's genius Alright dude I'm gonna go on a run And Excuse me I gotta tighten it up man It's a great idea. It's genius. All right, dude. I'm going to go on a run. Excuse me.

I got to tighten it up, man. Any music, Rex? Yeah. You want to play your Vampire Weekend song? Have I not played that already? I don't know. I would love to play a song or two. I feel like I play this already, but this is Harmony Hall.

This is off their new record. It's really good. Within the halls of power lies a nervous heart that beats like a young pretender. Beneath these velvet gloves I hide shameful crooked ends of a money lender. Because I still remember. Anger wants a voice. Voices wanna sing. Sinners harmonize. Till they can't hear anything.

I'm done that I was free. Anyways, um, sounds like, you know what I love about Vampire Weekend? It always sounds like Vampire Weekend. You know? They figured out what works. They're sticking with it. I appreciate that. Didn't you just give James Bay shit for that?

But James Bay, no, but he always seems like he's got marbles in his mouth. Oh, boy. Anyways, what do you got? Can you play a little bit of the new band camino song it's called see-through how do i get your attention I like this. I just love this band so much. Oh, I forgot to say, and we can finally say it now, why we had to cut it out of an episode weeks back that Miley was in South Africa because she was filming

an episode for a little show called Black Mirror. And that episode, that's in the trailer for it, looks so good. I'm excited for it. It's going to be so cool to watch it after being there and seeing them do some of it.

That's awesome. You got any more tunes? I was going to say about the about the band camino they're about to go on tour and i'm gonna go see them in september i'm so excited i have yet to see them live been dying to where are they um i'm gonna go see them in nashville i think in september but they're playing all over the u.s um last one i love i i'm not i haven't really ever been a huge lana del rey guy but i really like this new song it's called called Due in Time. Have you heard it yet? No. Also kind of on

the, in the same feeling of Lana Del Rey. I've never been a big fan of hers, but you know. But I do like this song. Different strokes for different folks, bro. Okay, you know this is a cover right you know this is a cover right no yeah okay i'll play it for you my burning sun will someday rise

what are we gonna be doing for a while see i'm gonna play with myself Okay. I will play. Yes, I'll play. Yeah. I'm not going to be able to hear it. It's the only bummer, but you can play it. Okay. Well, I'll do it anyway. Play a little bit of it for the people.

And for the OG, O Ridge. Take this veil from off my eyes. Oh, God. My burning sun for Sunday ride. What am I gonna be doing

for a while? Say I'm gonna play it myself. Show them now we've come off the ship. Oh. Of all those guys who died at 27, I think the Bradley is up there for me, man. Sublime was a big part of who I was growing up. I grew up in California in the mid-90s, man. It was tough. So, man, that's a cover. That's why that song's so good, because she didn't write it. Well, that says a lot.

Yeah, there you go. You got anything else? I don't think so. All right. I guess I'm going to go finish packing. So are we going to do the next show for you from Africa? We sure are.

So am I going to get up at like 4.30 in the morning to do this? No. No? Michelle Huseman and I find plenty of time to talk. We'll work it out. Okay, hold on. No, I'm just saying because of the time change.

No, I know. I feel like he and I usually talk before he goes to bed. And it's like it's like it'll probably be more like 11 a.m. or noon your time when it's like nighttime over there. It's probably the best time to do it. OK, well, is he going to be on the show? Well, I was going to say if you're if you're lucky, he'll agree to be on it a little bit. All right. Good. Oh, yes. We'll see.

The world finally gets introduced to Michelle Kilsman. This is our best bet for getting him on, is me being there and having to record. Yeah, you got to fly your ass all the way to South Africa to get this guy on the show. Yeah. I love it. All right, well, go pack up, drink that whiskey, and safe travels.

Thanks. I'll talk to you from the other side of the world. All right. Love ya. Love you. Love everybody. Love all my wife tears. Oh.

Oh. Bye. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.