Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - I just love my bed and my sauna I'm sorry

Episode Date: July 6, 2022

Guess who’s back, back again! Wells has returned from Paradise and is enjoying his creature comforts back at home. The 4th of July leads us into Alan Jackson’s All-American Chattahoochee, a topic your hosts linger on for pretty much the entire episode... We are also apparently branching off into different realities today, and Brandi was gifted an NFT, so they’re Ready Player One. Wells made a really nice donkey friend down in Mexico that he talks a lot about, and shares his plans to grow fruit trees that will combat capitalism. We’ve got all this and way, way more for you this week, YFTers. Hope you enjoy!  Don’t forget to rate, review, and follow Your Favorite Podcast! Plus, keep up with us between episodes on our Instagram page, @yftpodcast.   Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers:  Zocdoc — Go to Zocdoc.com/YFT and download the Zocdoc app for FREE  Green Chef — Go to GreenChef.com/yft135 and use code yft135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box  Shopify — Go to shopify.com/yft, ALL LOWERCASE, for a FREE fourteen-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features  Bachelor Happy Hour — Listen to BACHELOR HAPPY HOUR on Amazon Music, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Or you can listen ad-free by subscribing to Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts or the Wondery app 

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Your boy's back. Back again. In studio. thing do it your boy's back back again in studio and he's back from vip number eight dude your boy fucked his neck up real hard i don't know what i did i don't know if it's from when i was flying back from mexico and I was like sleeping weird Or like that night I slept Funky but like my neck Has been messed up for the past couple days Not good Cause you're getting old

It's 4th of July We're recording on 4th of July So happy Independence Day everybody But this will be coming out in a couple days But just so you know where we're at mentally, all that star-spangled shit, you know it. How many country songs are there about star-spangled everything? Country guys love a 4th of July anthem.

They're all about it. They're also all about going way down yonder on the Chattacokee. Never knew how much that muddy water meant to me. And the more I think about that song, the more I think it's about going down on a check. You know? Way down yonder on the Chattacootchee. Never knew how much that muddy water meant to me. But I learned how to swim and I learned who I was.

A lot about living and a little about love. Song's about eating, eating vagina. And maybe going south, huh? This song is about eating, eating vagina and maybe going south. I mean, a girl's, I'm now going to call Sarah's hee-hoo the Chattacoochee. Let's see if Bran's ready. There we go. Ding, dong, ding.

Waiting down in your own room on Chattacoochee. Never knew how much that vagina meant to me are you okay am i ever okay really or is anyone really okay no see that song way down the under on a chair you never knew how much your mother water meant that's not how it goes but yeah it's not chattahoochee Chattahoochee No Let's listen Okay, so I have a new theory I have a new theory This song is not about going out to a river

To like enjoy, you know, the 4th of July Okay? Uh-huh. This song's really about going down on a chick. Oh, really? Wait, is this known information? I thought it was, yeah. Really?

Uh-huh. Like, no? I thought I was a genius coming up with this idea, but now you're like... I don't think so. I think this is public knowledge really i think so oh my god i thought it was so smart and i was like i'd go through the song and be like these are all let's just do it anyways like these are all like just like these are the clues yeah first of all chattahoochee come on i mean i know it's about

i know chattahoochee but i think we all say chattahoochee uh i on. I mean, I know it's Chattahoochee, but I think we all say Chattacoochee. I think it's just you. Okay, let's see. Well, way down yonder on the Chattacoochee, it gets hotter than a hoochie-coochie. Okay, vaginas do get very warm down there, all right? They do, yes. It's a fact. It's a fact.

It's friction and it's body heat, all right? So it does get hotter than a hoochie coochie. Okay. Next. We laid rubber on the Georgia asphalt. Putting on a condom maybe. Maybe. We got a little crazy but we never got caught.

Okay. I mean, they had sex but their their parents didn't find out, maybe. Right. I hope that's what that meant. Muddy water. Maybe about your butt, you know? That one might be a stretch. Sometimes you go south of the border. Learned how to swim and I learned who I was

A lot about living and a little about love I now need to know if like like, this is well known. Who sings this? I should know that. Alan Jackson. Alan Jackson, got it. Jim McBride and I were trying to write an up-tempo song, and Jim came in the line with Way Down Yonder on the Chattacoochee.

Hoochie. Alan Jackson wrote in the liner notes for his seminal 1992 album, A Lot About Living and A Little About Love, and it kind of went from there. At the time, Jackson was still a budding face in the country music scene. I knew about the Chattahoochee River because I was raised in Alabama,

McBride told The Boot in 2015. With references to Riverside Friday Nights, Youthful Love, and Cans in the Pale Moonlight, the meaning behind the tune's lyrics captures the wistful magic of youthful indiscretion, especially as it exists on the hazy, lazy waters of Alabama and Georgia's southern border. It's a song about having fun, growing up, and coming of age in a small town, which really applies to anyone across the country, not just by the Chattacoochee. Hoochie, Jackson wrote in the liner notes,

we never thought it would be as big as it became. That's because it's about eating vagina. Sticking with it. Were you listening to this song recently as this house came up? I don't know where any of my thoughts come from, but they disappear, you know? Really? You weren't like, no one played this song, and it got you thinking, and you just woke up one morning,

and this was the thought? Well, this is kind of how it all, I can give you like the rundown of how this got, how it got here. Before I called you, I was talking to the YFTers out there about how we were recording this on 4th of July. Yep.

And then I was just like, yeah, dude, you know, we're going to be listening to all the anthems for Independence and 4th of July. And then I was like, you know, country singers love a 4 Fourth of July. And then I was like, you know, country singers love a Fourth of July anthem. Love. Live for it, you know? It's just like, Poon Toon Boat, Beer in Your Hand, Fireworks, Eatin' Vagina.

I mean, those things just drives all of music growing in Nashville. So then I was trying to think think of like those country songs. And for whatever reason, I just started singing. Way down yonder on a Chattacoochee, never knew much about water. And then I was like, oh, dude, that's about eating vagina. So, yeah, that's how we got here. And now that song is going to be stuck in my head all day. I mean, there are worse songs to have stuck in your head than Way Down Yonder on the Chattacoochee.

I mean, it's not my favorite song to have stuck in my head, honestly. What I love is that Bible thumpers out there will be like, they'll listen to like WAP, you know, or like, My neck, my back, my pussy, and my crack. Little did you know that Way Down Yonder on the Chattacoochee is the most vulgar song about cunnilingus? Well, happy 4th of July to you. Happy 4th of July. You a big 4th of July gal? I used to be.

Yeah? Then what happened? I don't know. Now I just, I feel like I'm always just working on the holidays these days. Like, I don't know. Got a gig today? Well, I had a gig Saturday night. In Park City? But holidays are gig Saturday night in Park City. Holidays are yeah in Park City. Holidays are big like work and work weekends for me. So yes there's that.

But also holidays for the most part are when my like I have two girls that work on my farm and that's when they want to take off. You know that's when normal people normal people get holidays off which means I have to do all the farm chores. and then i'm also trying to celebrate right it's like i have friends that want to come over and like i was like you guys can come over i can't like get wasted though because i gotta take care of the farm animals at 5 p.m so you know sometimes it just makes the holidays not as fun because i have so many responsibilities and now we're recording a podcast i'm just a working woman. Gotta get them rats. You gotta.

What are you gonna do? Yeah. Speaking of Park City, sat next to a lovely girl on the flight there and we just got to talking and somehow, you know, Mormonism came up. Is that a thing? Is that the right term? And she was like, I grew up Mormon. Don't practice it anymore, obviously.

She was like, fuck that shit. And I was like, oh my Godormon don't practice it anymore obviously she was like fuck that shit and she was and i was like oh my god can you give me some tea like what was it like to be raised mormon so she was like giving me all this tea and i got her number and i was like i might have you come on my podcast at some point if you're open to talking about this and she was like hell yeah i'll talk about it all day wow okay so if we ever wanted to have her on i got her digits i'm down but also like i don't want to be disparaging. My stance is I think it's all crazy. And I don't want to hone in on just the craziness of Mormonism.

Because I'm Catholic. I grew up Catholic. Went to 12 years of Catholic school. Went to an all-boys Catholic high school. I'm a confirmed Catholic. That's as crazy as anything else I've heard. If you think about it, and listen, I don't want to be blasphemous or whatever, and whatever you believe is whatever you believe, but like,

if you think about, if you think about the story of Jesus, it's pretty fucked up, because Mary's like 14 years old. Uh-huh. Back in the day, like in history class, we learned that women are having children very young back in the day. I think that was just the thing the thing yeah yeah because maybe because people are dying or because like

being a total creep was was more acceptable then i don't know i think it's both i mean people didn't live as long back then so i guess you had to start earlier and i mean it's no you know no secret that like the older you get the harder it is to get pregnant. Maybe we were meant to have children in our teens and early 20s. Like, I don't know. I know. I just know that wasn't the path for me. That's what I know. But if you're God and you're all powerful and all knowing,

you can get anyone pregnant. So why not get someone who's like struggling with like having a kid in their like mid to late 20s? You don't need to go after a child. Well, I think the whole point was the miracle of the child is a virgin no i get it i know i understand that yeah no i mean it'd be hard to find like a 30 year old virgin i think maybe well they made a movie called 40 year old virgin so it's possible oh i don't know and the other thing that I was thinking about, Catholics, we make this, and all Christians, we make this big to-do about Jesus died for our sin.

He put that weight upon himself, and he died for our sins, and he made the ultimate sacrifice, and God made the ultimate sacrifice of his own son dying for us and for our sins and all that kind of stuff, which is totally great. But also, he got to come back to life. We all have to die, and we don't get to come back to life. He got to come back, you know? But I guess when he died, he didn't think he was going to get to come back, right?

Like, you don't know you're going to get to come back. But if you're God, you kind of got to know the plan, you know? Yeah, but you don't tell Jesus about the plan. Yes, but they're all god in the same i know it's confusing it's very confusing and so and like i'm like yeah like yes he died for our sins but your boy got a green mushroom and got to come back to life you got an extra life that's not fair a green mushroom we all gotta die i'll give you a dig for that we all gotta die anyways i don't know why I'm talking about this.

And I respect everyone having weird beliefs. Dude, my beautiful bride-to-be believes in rocks having power and the moon and Jupiter and all that kind of stuff. That's crazy too. It's all crazy. It's going to be great. I mean, yeah. It's going to be great when we die and we find out who is right. It's going to be like the weirdest, you know, it's going to be some religion are we even gonna know like are you gonna have awareness when you're dead

to even know that you know i got a feeling that we're gonna like die and we're gonna come and we're gonna be confronted with like the eternal source whatever that is god you know and he's gonna be he or she or it's gonna be be like, you guys were way off. I appreciate giving it the old college try, but you guys weren't even close. I was talking to somebody the other day about the idea that if you don't do in this life what you were put here to do, then you come back as somebody else in the next life to do it and that you keep coming back until you do what you were meant to do. Well, I'll tell you what, sister, that means we're going to have to come back because there's no way in any world that God was like, you know what I want these two dipshits to do? I want them to go talk into a microphone for an hour every week. You know, that's really gonna

make the world a lot better. That's true. I mean, maybe, I don't know. We bring a lot. That's okay. I'm cool with taking another stab at it, I think. Yeah. I'll go round two. Give me a green mushroom, God. Let me come back. Yeah. I better get to come back as a dude the next time. Dudes have it so much easier. Gosh.

That's true. I better not come back as a girl. I hate you. You know what's funny, though? The whole thing of green mushroom giving you an extra life in Mario, and then the red mushroom makes you bigger. And then mushrooms in our society make you kind of trip out or whatnot. There's got to be some correlation there. So many Easter eggs in life, aren't there?

Yeah. Dude, Nintendo knew what's up. What a start to a show. Well, we haven't even really started the show yet. I know. You want to do it? Or you want me to do it? You should probably do that, yeah.

I think it's you. All right. Bros and hoes, you're listening to do it? You should probably do that, yeah. I think it's you. All right. Bros and hoes, you're listening to Your Favorite Thing Podcast with Wells and Brandy. Patriotism, America. Fuck yeah.

Go in and shit the motherfucking knee hair. All right, quick PSA for those of you out there who rent. If you haven't heard of Bilt, you're about to thank me. Earning points on rent

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ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiency with a robust all-in-one fulfillment system that integrates with over 180 of the most popular e-commerce platforms, marketplaces, and carriers. Listen, the holiday season is right around the corner. Odds are that you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce. If you're shipping, you got to do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 89% off UPS, DHL, Express, and USPS rates. What,

you don't want to save money? Come on. Deliver a better customer experience with industry-leading features that help you find the best carrier rates print labels and make customer service a breeze dude scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers switch to ship station today go to shipstation.com and use code your favorite thing to sign up for your free 60-day trial that's even more savings that shipstation.com code your favorite thing do it how's it feel to be home dude one i was working on a show that i enjoy i enjoy the people i enjoy the people like kind of behind the scenes i get to do it in the most beautiful place in the world i get to watch these amazing sunsets i get to make the silliest fucking tv in the world. And I can't tell you how excited I am to be home. The creature comforts of home are just favorite thing.

Chef kiss, you know? Everyone dials it in. You know, they figured out their shit. And then you dial it in. And then it's just so good to be home. And I got back here and I was like, the few things that like really bring me so much joy I got to do and I was like God

I could be in literally in paradise watching Beautiful Sunsets drinking margaritas every single day it's just not as good as being home you could be anywhere

in the world and you still just can't wait to be back in your fucking bed like you could literally be on a spaceship looking at earth

from up above in outer space and you still just wish you were at home in bed like it's all we ever want that's all we wish for yeah your bed's important speaking of so i don't know what it was but in mexico in paradise i had this like very firm bed your boy was sleeping the best he's ever slept and i'm just a big firm bed guy because i sleep in my belly a lot my stomach a lot so i don't know if it was flying home twisting my neck and sleeping weird

or when i got back here into like a very very soft bed but my neck has been no joke fucking destroyed ever since i got back like i can't even move type of thing so sarah and i yesterday we took advantage of the fourth of july sale that I feel like mattress companies have sales all the time, but they really get patriotic. So we went over to the Sleep Number sitch. Not an ad. It should be. There's not much we spent on it, but we went to the Sleep Number, talked to a very nice man who we found our sleep numbers. And I'll tell you how they get you.

Technology. They get you how they get you. Technology. They get you with technology every time. It could be total bullshit. Probably is. Probably is. Doesn't matter. So the whole thing about sleep number is that like you can have different firmnesses on each side, which is what we need because she likes to sleep in a hammock,

like the softest thing in the world. And I'm like, I feel like my ass is falling through this bed. I need some stability here. That's because she weighs the amount of a feather. It's very true. We figured that out. All she does is she just floats in the cloud in bed. It's like she doesn't even go anywhere. So true.

My ass, on the other hand, I got to have something that gives a little bit. floats in the cloud in bed it's like she doesn't even go anywhere so true so we go to my ass on the other hand like i gotta have something that gives a little bit so i might keep my spine straight you know so we go to the sleep number bed they sit they put us on this bed you're like looking up at this tv screen oh and they go to a number like you feels best for you or whatnot and you're like oh yeah that feels nice i'm getting some good support there. And then afterwards they show like a heat map of like where your pressure points were on the bed. And then when you went to a certain number, how they went away.

And it could be total bullshit. Like they could show the exact same thing to everybody and no one would know. But it looked like, you know, the outline of my ass. I don't know. And I was like, wow, look at that. Like you can see like the red's going away. And now it's turning into blue.

That's better. And that's how they get you. They get you with the technology. Wow. So what's your number? At 100, I was like, I like it like this. I want it very firm. He's like, yeah, no, it's not your number.

So I am a 50. Huh. And Sarah is a 25. Oh, OK. I mean, they got. Huh. And Sarah is a 25. Oh, okay. I mean, they got all the bells and whistles on this thing. Like, it's all through your phone now, like, to, like, raise the bed up and lower it and turn the foot heater on. And, you know, when you get out of bed, it, like, notices you get out of bed and, like, turns the light on by your feet so, like, you can, like, walk to the bathroom. What?

So it's, like, the toto of mattresses. It is. We were going to go to, like, different mattress stores. We? So it's like the Toto of mattresses. It is. We were going to go to like different mattress store. We were going to go to Tepidic. We were going to go all the places and test everything out. Once we were there, we were like, we're just going to fire away. You know? Wow.

So anyway, big. It's like kind of our big first purchase other than this house because it's going to get here like the day after we get married. So it's kind of like a big first like marriage buy. That's a good one. It is a good one. And it's important. And also she's had this bed forever.

And, you know, like exes have, you know. Yeah. I don't need that, you know. No. No. I need to soil my own bed. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Please don't do that. But yeah. Well, pretty excited about it. Pumped for you. It's expensive though. Let me tell you what, kids. Mattresses are not cheap yeah but very excited for that to be coming in so yeah you got big plans for uh fourth of july uh not really i feel like the weekend was kind of the big thing but um i have

some friends coming over to like just lay by the pool in a little bit nice you know very low-key yeah what about you throwing a party nope going to the uh country club and classic yeah you know very low-key yeah what about you throwing a party nope going to the country club and classic yeah you know and um it's gonna be a big party but we're getting a car service because like we are i'm now at the age of which i am anticipating my fucked upness and we're not taking any chances that's good how responsible of you that That's right. Not messing around. But it's so good to be back. Oh, man. Seeing the dogs.

It's been great. Oh, Carl. You know, I got to sit in my sauna. So fun. And I know that this sounds like such a bougie thing. And you can get them.

They can be expensive, but we got ours for relatively cheap, okay? And let me just tell you something, guys. There is nothing better than getting a good schvitz in every single day.

And also what they say, they say if you sit in a sauna like twice a week, your age limit goes up like 20 years. What? Yeah. It's like such like good for your cardiovascular health and stuff. And your boy sits in it every single day. So I'm never going to die is what I'm saying. Oh, boy. But yeah, is not the creature

comforts i love a sauna good fits but also like they've got one at the club so i can i could go there too if you have an access to a sauna or a steam you should do it it's so good for you so i hate sweating it's just yeah but you need to get all that stuff out of you i sweat plenty outside with the horses and shit trust me all right All right. It's the same thing. I mean, yeah. No. No. It's not the same. I would say I sweat a whole lot more outside doing things than I do in a sauna, but different.

I get it. Yeah. And you can sit in there and you can watch some shows and- I could do that in my bed and not sweat. Yes and no, but sweating's good for you. But I sweat outside. And I'll tell you what the other thing is, the tushy bidet. Coming home to that because in Mexico I didn't have that.

If you're not living with a bidet of some sort, you are living in the dark ages. I lived an entire month with a dirty balloon knot and I knew it and it was not good. Come home, come home, first spray. I didn't even need to poop. I just needed to take a month off of my butt and we did that. God, you just don't know. When you travel, do you not travel with like butt wipes? I do, but it's still not the same.

It's not, but butt wipes help. Hey, if you get mud on your driveway, do you clean it up with a towel? Or do you clean it up with a hose? You know? Because a towel is still going to clean it up with a hose? You know? Yeah. Because a towel is still going to be on the cement a little bit. Can't get all of it. Uh-huh.

But let me tell you what. If you spray that bitch down, clean as a whistle. A whistle. You're nuts. Yeah, you can sit in the sauna. You can watch some shows. Speaking of, do you have some paper things? Bro, did you finish Stranger Things?

Oh, my God. Did you? Did you? Yeah, my first complaint was there's only two episodes. However, they were very long. Yeah. They were very long. They were longer than a movie.

Yeah. So at least there's that. Loved it. Don't get me wrong, but there has to be another season. Of course. Oh, okay. For some reason, I was thinking we were all acting like this is the last season and this was a series finale.

No. The way it ends, the upside down is now in the right side up, you know? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's definitely not over. For sure not over. Did you love it? I did.

I liked it. Yeah. I mean, I did love it. I wasn't, I don't know, though. It left me feeling unsatisfied. What about you? I thought it was one of the best pieces of TV I've ever seen in my entire life.

The last, the last episode. Yeah. I mean, it was fantastic. Don't get me wrong. But like, I just was like, I feel like. I don't know what to tell you other than it's just so freaking fun. I can't get over how fun that show is to watch. No, it's great. I'm crushed about Eddie.

I'm crushed by Eddie too, but he's what made that last episode for me so amazing. I know. And somebody had to die, you know? Someone had to die. I thought Max was going to die. Me too. But Eddie's, it was so amazing. Him playing metal on top of the RV. That scene is, it's so fucking perfect. Like when that was happening, I was like, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. And it's not even close. Like him just playing metal, just going crazy. And then with the heartstrings of like him being like, I'm going to save everyone's life.

I'm not going to run away. And then Dustin coming to his side and he's like, we're going to get you to the hospital. And he's like, I didn't run away. You know, like I didn't run away. I'm not a coward. It was just like, oh my God. Like what, as sad as I am to see him die,

what an amazing exit. I don't know if you can write a better ending for somebody. I mean, you can't. It's great. If you're going to die, that's the for somebody i mean you can't like it was it's great if you're gonna die that's the way to do it yeah but it was so sad i know and i and i loved how they were able to bring you know hopper kind of back in like it all kind of came together and made sense there yeah hopper got hot david harbour oh david harbour and was like, I'm going to lose some weight and start slamming ass. You know?

And they're like, well, we got to write this. I'm serious. I was like, what the fuck is happening here? I know. And I did like. It's like a Chris Pratt situation. He reminds me a lot of Chris Pratt. And I did like how it was very like girl power there at the end.

It was Nancy. Yeah. Max is the girl that like sacrifices herself for the whole thing robin is also there it was very much like the women were fucking shit up in the end which i thought was which was kind of fun and of course 11 because at the end there when it's like steve nancy and rob. I was like, I want Steve to be the one that like kills, you know, ends it. And then it's Nancy. And I was like, oh, I want Steve.

And it was like, no, it's good. It's all the girls. Anyways, I thought it was. Steve got the shit into the stick. He didn't get to kill the demon. And he didn't get the girl in the end. He's going to get the girl in the end. You think?

I will be so sad for, what's his name? Jonathan. Jonathan. I will be so sad for what's his name jonathan jonathan i will be so sad for jonathan i know yeah he's just so like fragile i know i know anyways it's just um so great okay so there was one thing that i was like a little confused on so when they're in the pizza van i think they're in the pizza van will's talking to mike and like showing him i guess like the art where l like about you're the heart and all the thing and will gets really emotional and is like crying looking out the window talking to him about how l feels about him yeah you know i'm talking about yeah so is will emotional and crying and

upset because he loves 11 or because he's jealous of 11 and mike and he loves my i can't figure it out yeah i'm not sure i have a theory that will is gay that's what i was thinking like does he love mike and he's like emotional because or i couldn't tell if it was that or like or if he loves 11 like i'm very confused about it i think it's he realizes that mike is so in love with Eleven, and I think Will is too. That's what I was thinking. I mean, I could be totally wrong, but I have a feeling that's what that is. Yeah.

Anyways. Very interesting. So good. Sorry if you haven't seen Stranger Things yet, but you should because it's absolutely fantastic. We probably should have given a spoiler alert before we dove into that. Yeah. But also, if you like Stranger Things, you watched it. Like you had a long weekend to kind of do it.

Come on. Yeah, hopefully. Hopefully I didn't ruin it for everybody. Yeah. No, whatever. I don't really care. It's just so good. But that ending, Eddie's ending, is just him playing the fucking metal.

So on top of an RVv in the upside down it's just so good i bet you riding that scene was so fun oh i bet filming that scene was so fun so good yeah loved it yeah loved it you know what i didn't love? We watched the new Doctor Strange last night. Oh, I've never seen any of that. You're not a big Marvel person, are you? I used to be, but I just feel like some of the newer stuff hasn't been as good or something. I don't know. My whole thing with Marvel is the formula that it works is amazing CGI, obviously,

good storylines, and a lot of comedy and the ones that don't work are the ones where they're just bad at comedy captain marvel she's not funny yeah it's true and benedict cumberbatch you are one of the great actors of our time you're just not funny not funny and as much as i do love love Elizabeth Olsen, you're not funny. Mm-mm. And so it makes it hard for this to work. I mean, I think that this does a thing for the multiverse, and it brings in, if you watch it, spoiler or whatever,

but they go into a different kind of multiverse or dimension, and they're able to bring in Fantastic Four and the x-men and like different characters and so i almost think that like this is just a shit movie that they're using to be able to bring in everyone into mcu which makes sense like it's a bridge i suppose but it's just so ridiculous doctor strange in the multiverse of madness. Halfway through, it seems like they just kind of gave up and just started doing these very, very weird shots. And it was just kind of like hokey 1980s horror a little bit, like a bad Ghostbusters at some point. Weird. So anyways, think if you're like super big into the MCU and you want to figure out how all these things are going to be able to connect going forward, then watch it.

But about three-fourths of the way through, I was like, I want to leave now. This is, or I want to stop watching this. I don't know what we're doing here. So not one of my favorite things. Sorry. Got it. Speaking of the multiverse,

are you familiar with the CERN-Hydron Collider? The what? The CERN-Hydron Collider. I cannot say that I have any fucking clue what that is. Okay. That's because you are not smart. Or am I just not a nerd? Maybe.

It's a large particle collider. And so effectively what they do is they take particles and they speed them up in this like very big tube to like basically light speed. They smash them into one another and they make new particles and they can kind of like almost like recreate what a black hole looks like for a second. They can learn a lot about the universe by doing all this stuff. It's how they discovered the Higgs particle, which is known as the God particle. Anyways, it's some dorky physics shit. But here's where the conspiracy theories out there. One of the first times that they turned this thing on and they threw a bunch of particles at one another

and kind of made these tiny black holes and all this stuff was back in 2012. And that was the time which a lot of people were saying was when the mandela effect started being noticed and so the conspiracy theory out there is that when they started doing this they started to splinter off into different realities and we started to fuck up the multiverse. Very interesting. Yeah. And the reason why I bring it up is because

so they turned on the Hadron Collider yesterday. So a lot of people are saying that we're going to like splinter off into a new reality as of today. So hope you guys are feeling well. And, you know, who knows, maybe in this reality of superpowers and Asana. That'd be sickening.

Yeah. So when you say different reality, do you mean like a virtual one? One of the Mandela effect is it's Berenstain Bears, not Berenstein Bears, you know? And like, I remember it being this way. No, I remember being that way. So it was like in our timeline,

it was whatever it was originally. And then something happened and now we're in this we kind of jumped over to this other one where the name's different but we all still remember collectively the old way the book was written or whatever right i mean it might just be that we were all fucking stupid kids and like didn't really know the difference between berenstain and berenstein anyways, that's kind of what I'm thinking. Yeah, probably. Is it the Flintstones or the Flintstones? Yeah. I don't know.

We might meet like today into a different reality. And I think that's pretty cool. Sickening. Or we might meet a terrible one. I mean, the way the world's going right now, we might be in a bad one. I don't know. It's not looking great.

It's not looking great out there. I do feel like we are like rapidly progressing towards real life Ready Player One. For sure. It's freaking me. So I went to an event last week. One of my good friends, Brittany Kelly and her husband, Brian Kelly, who is a member of Florida Georgia Line, if you are a country music fan, they have started this thing called Chill Cowboy Country Club. And basically it's NFTs, which I'm just going to be honest with you guys, I know nothing about NFTs at all.

But Brittany being a friend, I am interested in this like business she's starting. And so I go to this event and she actually gave me one of the NFTs, which is so cool. So I now own my first NFT, which I'm super pumped about. From what I understand,

like all NFTs are very different, but hers specifically, these Chill Cowboy NFTs specifically also give you like a membership, like this exclusive membership to going to different events. Like I think they're going to have a chill cowboy festival once a year or something. And then like all these other events throughout the year that if you own one of these NFTs, you get to go to those, you know? And, and she was even saying too, like, you know, like as it progresses, like, God forbid we ever, you know, go into another lockdown or something, but like if we did and you had one of these NFTs, like you could hang out in this virtual reality and go to these festivals and events virtually as your avatar, as your NFT

avatar, which is blows my fucking mind. Like I really can't even comprehend that. But all I could think about was if this is real life, ready player one,'re on the way i don't know if you haven't read ready player one and we talk about it a lot and we well let's talk about ready player two when it came out but like if you haven't read it or seen it highly recommend because we are going there oh for sure i mean facebook and zuckerberg are like working tirelessly on these new oculus headsets that are going to be able to change everything it's nuts i know but here's the thing you can put on a headset and go be in paradise for whatever and but you still don't want to go home and sit in your sauna you know we're getting your bed we're getting your bed yeah yeah so i think we're going that direction i just don't know if i want

to go in that direction i don't i'm like you know for my lifetime like i'm gonna just gonna finish it out in in the real world here and like you guys can hang in them i don't know you guys can do it virtually that's cool but like for me i feel like i'm just gonna like keep doing what i'm doing live this real life shit and the next generation like have at it yeah you want to live in the metaverse go for it go for it yeah i'm gonna live in the universe all right yeah yeah and you know what i'm gonna do what You want to live in the metaverse? Go for it. Go for it, yeah. I'm going to live in the universe. All right? Yeah, yeah. And you know what I'm going to do?

What? Oh, God. It gets hotter than a hoochie-coochie. We laid under on the Georgia asphalt. We got a little crazy, but we never got caught. You think you can go way down yonder on the Chattacoochie in the metaverse, bro? No. Yeah, I think you can go way down yonder on the Chattacoochee in the metaverse, bro? No. Yeah, I think you can.

No. You got to go down on a girl in real life, not in the metaverse. I think they do it in the metaverse, too. Yeah, but how they can replicate muddy water. That's a great question. You got to go through it, kids. Yeah. Highly recommend.

Highly recommend going down on a chick. In real life. You haven't lived until you've gone way down yonder on the Chattacoochee. Oh, God. I have a favorite thing. I finished the first season of Obi-Wan, and it is so great. I loved every second of it. It's so fun.

It's funny. Acting's ridiculous because, I mean, Ewan McGregor is fantastic. Hayden Christensen, even though you don't see him a whole lot, he does a great job playing Darth. I always liked him. He's so good at it. I love... Darth is so fun

to watch fight because it's a little bit like Jason Voorhees in Halloween where it's kind of slow and methodical. And you don't think that they are athletic or they're fighting style, but they're so big and strong or whatever that everything's effortless. It's so – he does such a good job of doing that thing we were watching and I was like I love the way that Darth fights because it looks like he's slow but he's fucking badass even though Obi-Wan like keeps on kicking his ass but it's so good and it's got all the things that you need to have a good Star Wars film you need the music I don't even know if it's John Williams, but you gotta have the music. You gotta have the lovable droid,

which they do, this cute little droid. Such a great character. And then you need to have the reluctant hero. And you're not really sure who the reluctant hero is in this situation. Is it Inquisitor Riva? Maybe. Is it Obi-Wan Kenobi?

I mean, that's the obvious choice because he doesn't want to go back go back into the force but he does but I say that the reluctant hero is going to be Kumail Nanjiani's character Haja I think that's gonna be happening in the second season I can't wait for Obi-Wan Kenobi's second one because now they gotta go I guess they gotta go hang out with Luke which that'll be fun and there's brid in the gap between episode four and A New Hope. And I'm excited about it. And they can just keep on doing this stuff. You and McGregor, do it.

Love that for you. You know what I don't love? What? I had so many YFTers hit me up this week about this. Okay. It's just so sad. HBO, why the fuck are you taking Theo James off of my screen? Why did you cancel The Time Traveler's Wife?

Dude. What? They weren't loving it, apparently. I have a lot of people in my DMs that are very upset about this. And how could you end season one the way you did if you weren't going to renew? At least let them do a limited series and finish the story. The story's not over there's so much story left why would they end it like that unless they knew they were

gonna do season two i'm so upset theo james deserves justice and also i'm wondering like is it possible for someone else to pick this up and do a season two like do you know how manifest got canceled and then netflix picked it up yeah like do is there any possibility that like netflix or hulu or somebody can pick up this from hbo and do a season two surely please god like i'm gonna call my mother and make my mom do like figure this out because mom all it really needs is one more season you know to like finish the story from the novel yeah i feel like they did a good job they probably got about halfway and i feel like it's totally doable to just do one more season and i feel like the story is so good the book is so good like theo james is so hot like we deserve to finish the story that's all i'm saying and hbo i'm pissed well i'm sorry that

does suck it was good maybe someone will do it so if we're if we're gonna go down the things that like annoy us i i i have a request okay um Can we stop making the pineapple on pizza is gross joke America and the world? You mean Stranger Things? That's where I was like, this fucking joke. Everyone uses this joke. It's so stupid. Do you know what it is like? This is the equivalent of the pineapple on the pizza joke is the equivalent of people hating the word moist.

All right. We get it. Stop fucking using that joke. It's so overplayed. We get it. It's a gross word. You're not the first person in the world that said that the word moist is gross. All right. Everyone has said it. It's so overplayed. Same with the pineapple and pizza joke. We get it. It's weird. It's different. Saying that makes you seem so cool and different. No, it doesn't. It makes you seem like everybody else. And you know what? It is fucking weird.

And it is gross. Of all the fucking weird shit you put on pizza, that's not even in the top ten. Alright? There are pizzas out there with just fucking whole sardines on them. Okay? And it's gross. And it's gross. Okay?

But there's no joke of like, oh my God, you put sardines in your pizza? No, it's not, all right? Fucking Hawaiians are weird, all right? They like their Canadian bacon or their Canadian ham and their pineapple, all right? Because that's what they got over there. It's just like the that's what she said joke. If that's where your comedy is, do better, okay? Fucking, let's raise bar for your comedy.

Okay? And here's the funny thing, is that I've got a new show that I'm hosting on Hulu about pizza, and we definitely make that joke. But whatever. I'm just like, okay, we get it. Pineapple on pizza is so gross. Oh, crazy. Take the pineapple off.

Kid, you're crazy. Hey, by the way, you got a donkey, don't you? You have a donkey? I have five. You have five donkeys? Yeah. So in paradise, I won't like kind of ruin it, but in paradise, there's a date where I ride a donkey around.

You ride a donkey? I ride a donkey around. Oh, wow. Is it a donkey? Is it a burro? It had balls. I bet it was a burro. Well, I don't know.

His name was Flemmo. It had balls. Well, yeah, because I thought if you castrate them, then it becomes like a jackass or something like that. I mean, I don't know the technical situation of it, to be honest with you. What's a horse and a donkey put together? Mule. A mule. And you can't mate a mule with a donkey.

Right. Yeah, it was on a burro. It was in Mexico. Was he small? Kind of small. Yeah. I don't weigh that much, so it wasn't like it was a whole lot of pressure on him or whatnot. But can I just say, big donkey guy over here.

Big donkey guy. All right. I've never really loved horses. They're very big. They can, I feel like they can really hurt you. And they kind of just do whatever the fuck they want to do. And you're just kind of along for the ride, you know. They stop and they pee and they poop a lot.

I'm just not a big horse guy. And I know you're a big horse guy, but I'm just not a big horse guy. I'm kind of intimidated by them. But let me tell you something, guys. If you're intimidated by horses, get into the donkey game, okay? Donkeys are so sweet.

They make funny noises. They're just- They have the best ears. They have the best ears. They're just there for a good time. And you know what? They're small enough that you can kind of maneuver them around. Like, I feel like I'm never in charge of a horse, but a donkey, I was like, let's go buddy. Like we were a team. Oh, you just wait until you have a donkey that doesn't want to listen. Yeah. Maybe that's, they are so strong for their size. Like when I'm leading them around, even my minis,

the second they decide they don't want to do what I'm saying, if they start dragging me, like I'm fucked. Like there's no... I mean, I can't. Like they outweigh me like no joke. And once they... They're very stubborn. And they also don't like to be led.

They like to be pushed. So if you ever can't get a donkey to move, put something behind it and like push it. And that's the way to do it. They like to be pushed. So if you ever can't get a donkey to move, put something behind it and push it. And that's the way to do it. Pro tip. If you have a chance to ride Flemon in Taito. That's his name. He was the best. I'm a big donkey guy

over here. I love donkeys. I love my donkeys. They're great. They are. I made a life decision. I saw this on TikTok and it annoys me. So in a lot of countries, and I even noticed this in Mexico, in a lot of countries, they have fruit trees growing, the trees that you'd see like on the sidewalk,

public place areas in parks and things. You can just go and pick a nectarine or whatever. You can just go eat the public fruit. But in America, we don't do that. And I think that that's like capitalism at like its lowest because like well we want to sell you your fruit we don't want it just to be like available willy nilly you know but that's crazy you know we have all these trees that don't do dick they just put pollen out and you know and fuck up your world you know and you gotta rake the leaves and stuff

you don't even get anything out of it you gotta do a bunch of work for nothing so you know what i'm gonna do i've decided i got two trees in my front yard. Those bitches are coming out because they don't do dick. And we're putting in some fruit trees. That's lovely. Some stone fruit. So, you know, maybe a nectarine situation. Maybe peaches.

I don't know. I think I had a lemon tree when I lived in L.A. Everyone's got a lemon tree. Yeah. I would like one of those too because you do use lemons a lot. But I want a fruit tree. Yeah. So would like one of those too because you do use lemons a lot. But I want a fruit tree. Yeah. So anyways, that's what I'm going to do.

Love that for you. Yeah. I'm in it. Cute. So you talked about it last week. We started watching it, Snowflake Mountain. Oh, yeah. Have you watched any of it or you just like saw it?

No, I haven't. Okay. So the premise is a bunch of just like fucking, just like the worst. They're just like what everyone hates about like Gen Zs and Gen Xers of like just lazy, won't do anything, scared of everything. They're just these people and they basically send them into, send them to a mountain. And basically it's like them complaining. I would say what it is, it's Simple Life. guys remember simple life oh yeah huge fan paris and nicole

oh yeah it's simple life but instead of having two hot chicks who are rich it's just fucking normal people and so don't love that it's got a good shtick to it it's a little bit like um too hot to handle so oh love that show if you make it through you get fifty thousand dollars but if you leave early then five thousand dollars comes off of you know the prize money or whatnot ah i see it's it's smart um but here's the problem is that they've got these two like retired army guys as the hosts or whatnot oh and they're terrible and that's the problem they're just not good at this because that's not interesting and and this isn't like they're doing a fun no they're just not good at this like their jokes are bad what they needed to have is

they needed to have like a comedian someone in there driving because right what's happening is ridiculous on the first day like one team like steals all the food of the other team so funny there's this one guy who just like talks mad shit to like everybody there's so many opportunities for like really good hosting but they just have these two guys who are just kind of sticks in the mud so anyways one of my favorite things but kind of funny but also if you want this go watch um simple life with uh paracynical also should they just have you host next time yeah but like i mean i'm not like a survival expert but i also would love that i like to camp and that kind of stuff the problem, is they found guys who are like survival guys and not guys who are like host guys, but you guys, and which I get, you need to host the show

more than need to explain that. Like one time in Afghanistan, you made a fire, you know, like, I feel like they could bring those guys in here and there to like give a little speech or something or a little demonstration, but that, yeah, but like have like a real host doing most of the talking. Yeah. That's the weak point there. But anyways, it's but anyways it's um it's okay all right but i tell you what man i'll tell you one of my favorite things right now i i have gotten to a side of tiktok that i didn't know existed that like let me tell you what have you guys gotten into rv talk what okay so basically it's like people who sell rvs and they like show what the amenities are am i in in my um in the market for an rv not at all will i will i ever be in the market for an RV. No. Do I love learning about what's in the new

coyote sprinter RV? Fuck yeah, I do. Wow, look at that. Oh, it's got the pop-out thing? You got a queen bed in the widow's peak? What? You got full shower in this bitch?

Oh, fuck. Look at the storage on the side. You telling me that there is a full fridge on the outside so when you're when you're camping you can get beers real easy your boys big into rv talk if you haven't looked into rv talk let me tell you something you are missing out kid they got you're insane am i ever gonna get an rv no way can we talk about the names of rvs and campers because they are hilarious like i passed one the other day that was called wolf pup wolf pup is the name of the camper i'm like i feel like we could come up with

something a little better than wolf pup rv talk where it's at Maybe I do need an RV. I love an RV. I just don't love the idea of driving everywhere. Right. I like to rent an RV for like a small trip. Like I flew into Denver last year and drove, rented an RV, drove to Moab. You know, it was like five hours. Yeah. Not that deep.

I tell you what would be great, dude. When they have self-driving cars and you can have an RV that's self-driving. Now you're talking. Now we're cooking with gas. Yeah. This RV's got the captain's chairs that spin around. Love that. Love a captain chair.

Is there anything better than a captain chair? There's not. There is not. No. As good as it gets, kids. Just so you know. Last thing. Did you know that Ricky Gervais was in a 80s synth pop band before he became a comedian and an actor?

I did not know that. Do you have your computer in front of you? I do. I'm talking to you on. Look. Oh, yeah. Just go look up pictures of Ricky Gervais in his 80s band called Siona Dancing. He looks kind of like David Bowie back in the day.

Yeah, a little David Bowie for sure. Yeah. Wow. How old is he here? In his 20s or whatever. He looks young. Do you want to listen to some Siona Dancing? Sure.

It's pretty great, bad 80s synth pop. Oh. 80s synth pop. Obviously, Obviously was such a big David Bowie fan that he wrote David Bowie into one of his shows. Oh. And David Bowie sang a song on the show about Ricky Gervais. And this is where it just comes full circle. Chubby little loser chubby little

loser national joke no not chubby little loser no pathetic little fat man no one's bloody laughing the clown that no one laughs at. They all just wish he died.

He's so depressed at being useless. The fat man takes his own life. No, no. He's so depressed at being hated. Fatty takes his own life. Fatty, fatso. Fatso. Yeah, let's go with fatso. Fatso takes his own life. Fatty, fatso, fatso. Yeah, let's go with fatso.

Anyways, full circle there. Yeah. He was in a band called Siona Dancing where he was ripping off David Bowie. And then later he had his own show called Extras where he hired David Bowie to come on and sing a song about how he's a chubby little fat man. Genius. And that, my friends, is one of my favorite things. You know, that's just great. Yeah. Love that for you. I love that for Ricky. Yeah. Being honest. By the way, I watched this special on Netflix. Really? Okay. I don't know. It was good, but then it was bad. And then it was whatever.

Speaking of specials, I saw the Norm MacDonald special on Netflix. And I love it. Also, RIP to Norm MacDonald because he's one of the best. During the pandemic, he was like gearing up to get ready to do this special. And the pandemic happened, so he couldn't do it. But he also knew that he was sick and he might not make it. So he recorded his special like just basically on his computer. Damn.

In one take. And that's what's out. Wow. And it's, if you love Norm Macdonald comedy, like then you'll love this special because it's just so all over the place, but like so amazingly crafted,

knowing his mind, how good he is at seeming like he's just rambling, but really it's just all going into like this one like amazing direction the entire time fantastic and it's also kind of like a nice ode to norm because he was one of the one of the best comics ever love him i have some exciting news in the book department one of our faves blakeouch, has a new book coming out. It's on pre-order right now. It's called Upgrade, and you best believe

I've pre-ordered that bad boy. This is the guy who wrote Recursion and Dark Matter. Dark Matter. Oh, yeah. Love a Blake Crouch novel. I'm reading a book right now, but I'll tell you about it next week because I'm not far enough in. Okay but I'll tell you about it next week because I'm not far enough in.

But I'll give you a tease about magic. Oh, love that. Yeah, big magic guy over here. You got any news eggs? I don't think so. You're not way down yonder on the Chattacoochee? No. Can't say I am.

I got something. Okay. So I'm friends with these guys. It's a band called Airpark. Not sure if you're familiar with them. Sounds familiar. Do you remember the band, the Apache Relay? Yeah.

So the lead singer of that and his brother were in a band called Apache Relay, and then the band kind of fell apart. They were a big band in Nashville. I think they were the opener for Mumford & Sons for a very long time. Anyways, now the two brothers have a new project out called Airpark and they've got some new music out and I've been digging on it. Cool. The new single is called Prehistoric Feeling. Here is Airpark. We'll see you next time. I like that. I like that.

Yeah, they're cool. Good guys too. Cute. Oh, by the way, I'm going to see camp. Ooh. Tonight. Fun.

Where? I think the Greek. Ooh, that'll be nice. The Greek? Hope so. Love the Greek. Love the Greek. Ooh, that'll be nice. The Greek? Hope so. Love the Greek. Love the Greek. Uh-huh.

So yeah, I'm going to go see some live music, ya boy. Get down in the world. Wow. Wow. I'm going to my bachelor party soon. Oh, how exciting. Yeah, very exciting. How many people are involved in that?

Is it massive? 16. That's a lot. Yeah. You got 16 friends? Not really, but here we are. Did we do it? I think so.

I think we did too. What a great episode. I feel very good about this one. We have to end it with this. Yeah. Does your dad not like Alan Jackson? Is there like a beef between them? Oh, I mean, he's definitely a rival of the...

Yeah. Yeah. Dude, you know what your dad's problem is? What's that? He doesn't have any songs alluding to eating vagina. You know? Is that his problem or is that a good thing? I mean, if you want to make it in the biz,

you do some cunnilingus songs. That's the rule. I'm mean, if you want to make it in the biz, you do some cunnilingus songs. That's the rule. I'm not sure. You want to make it in Hollywood, kid? You do songs about eating vagina, but make it seem like you're talking about going to a river. Oh, God. You want to make a big kid? I love when you think you're so funny. We're going to make you a star big kid. I love when you think you're so funny.

We're gonna make you a star, kid. Do a song about eating vaginas. Like, does Sarah ever get tired of watching you laugh at yourself or no?

I don't know. I mean, if you think about the, like, I am the perfect person to be in a relationship with because there is no pressure for her to entertain me.

Right. Like, I can just do it myself. But Sarah loves to entertain. She does. But I think she gets, you know, at some point she's like, you know when a kid learns to walk and it's like, great,

they can go play. Get out of the house and go do your thing. I think that's how she feels about me. It's like, yeah, go. Yes, go entertain yourself. I'm tired. I'm going to watch RuPaul's Drag Race now.

By the way, congrats to Sarah on the gig hosting. Oh, yeah. We didn't even talk about it. Love Island. Very exciting for her. Yeah. Very cool. That'll be fun.

Yeah. I'm happy for her. She's doing a lot of work this year. Get it, girl. Get it. Mike Del Monte, honey. Yeah. I'm happy for her. She's doing a lot of work this year. Get it, girl. Get it. Make that money, honey. Yeah. All right.

Well, happy 4th to you. Happy 4th. And we'll see you later. Love y'all. Love you guys. Bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Yeah. That's right you want to make it this biz kid you do some cuddling of songs i'm gonna kill you if alan jackson sues us he won't sue us maybe he will actually i can't be the first person to think that that's what that song's about, though. Definitely not. You've thought that, huh? Yeah, I've heard that before. I thought that was such a funny insight, and now I feel so unoriginal. There's no way those dudes weren't sitting in that writing room, writing that song, and not thinking about that.

Yeah, I know. Zero chance. If we get sued because we said Alan Jackson songs about eating the gene, that's the funniest fucking headline I've ever heard. And it's worth it. I'm making you pay for all of the lawyer fees if we get sued. It's worth it. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.