Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - It’s Gonna be Litty Kitty

Episode Date: June 2, 2021

This week on YFT, we learn that there’s going to be a huge government announcement about aliens, so stay tuned for that. Brandi also tells us that she doesn’t answer anyone’s birthday texts to her, so don’t waste your time. Wells went to a concert and it was the most magical experience of his life (okay, of the past year); they handed out weed and the cops showed up. It’s a whole thing. Plus, we’ve got a list of faves, a least fave, and an “unsure yet” show. Then we hear about a chocolate incident with Wells' dogs that became way more dramatic than it needed to be, in true Wells fashion. Lastly, we encourage you (if you’re still reading this, anyone there, hello?) to listen to the last few seconds of this episode.  Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers:  Prose — Go to prose.com/yft for your FREE in-depth hair quiz and 15% off your first order   Betterhelp — Go to betterhelp.com/favoritething for 10% off your first month   Vizzy — To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/YFT. Must be 21+  Hello Tushy — Go to hellotushy.com/yft to get 10% off plus free shipping   Join our community at Patreon.com/YourFavoriteThing 

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I got my coffee. I got a water. I just don't got a brandy. Ding-a-ling-a-ding. Bing-bong-boom. Buckle my shoe. Hi. Oh, what's up?

I just got back from Vegas on Saturday, and I go back on Wednesday. Speaking of Vegas, I have a favorite thing about Vegas. Well, a movie at least. We can talk about that later. What is Vegas like these days? It's either totally wide open or it's weird. Vegas is always weird. I feel like I need to let you know after this weekend

because apparently June 1st, which is tomorrow, is when they're getting rid of all the COVID protocols. Yeah. So this weekend I feel like was a little weird and I was also at a new hotel that just opened so it was kind of empty. But next weekend I'm on the strip and the protocols are out the window

and it's going to be Litty Kitty. That is my new favorite phrase. Give me a ding for Litty Kitty. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah, June 15th is supposed to be the day that California lifts its ban. Oh, that's pretty soon. I know.

the day that California lifts its ban. Oh, that's pretty soon. I know. Also, sometime this month, we're supposed to be getting a debriefing from the government about aliens. No way. Yep, that's when Congress or whatever has demanded that they get all the information

for the aliens. Oh my gosh, that's so exciting. I know. We're going to know about aliens very, very soon. Something to look forward to. Wow. I know. Finally.

Or imminent death. I don't know. Either way. They wouldn't tell us if it was imminent death. They would definitely keep it from us. Yeah. I saw some conspiracy theory that was like, and I don't believe this, but I was like, okay.

Like, cause it's just weird timing that like, we had this giant pandemic, a bunch of people died, but they're asking us all to take this vaccine. And then all of a sudden they're dropping all this crazy alien stuff. And then it's like, what if the alien,

we're getting inoculated because the aliens are coming and we need to be like, you know, if you go to, you go to Africa, you need to be inoculated for like mosquitoes and shit what if the aliens have some crazy disease and so the aliens were like hey might want to have everyone take this fucking medicine real quick before we're like hanging out with you guys you know honestly that would probably motivate people to get vaccinated more than the truth so we should definitely go with that or it's just the government be like fuck man okay so so a bunch of people died we hope that they take the vaccine didn't work uh

we're offering now like there's a lottery system in los angeles if you get the vaccine you could win like ten thousand dollars or some crazy thing they're like well that didn't work they're like you know what let's just say the aliens are coming and see if that gets them to fucking take it. Oh my God. I mean. That's so funny. You don't have to ask them to relax, baby. Yeah.

Feels good. How you doing, kid? Is your roommate still living there? Which one? Tish or my friend Matt that's here? Wait, who's Matt? My friend Matt Boy Magic. He's from Denver.

Matt Boy Magic is his name. Yeah, Magic that's his Instagram handle but we call him that in real life um Matt I met Matt actually through Ben Higgins okay when we uh were in Honduras doing the service trip um wait so I was I was oh yeah Matt Boy was in Matt Boy was in Cabo. You need to fucking tell me. I made up nicknames for everybody in Cabo. And you're telling me that there was already a nickname for a Matt Boy Magic? Yeah. I think I called him Nick Vialli the entire time because he kind of looks like Nick. Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah, Matt Boy. My life is out of control. I'm so busy, which is great. Like DJ stuff's popping off. We're finally getting back to normal. I'm finally making some money. It's so great. Super thankful, but very busy. And my birthday was last week. My whole family's here. I'm trying to horse show like it's a whole thing. So my friend Matt, he was here last year for a few weeks and was such a huge help with the horses like apparently he's like i call him ranch boy magic when he's here apparently he like grew up on a farm or some shit and like likes to clean

stalls so he helped me so much last year i was like hey matt for my birthday do you want to come in to nashville and hang and he was like yeah and i was like and clean all my stalls for two weeks cool cool cool thank you well i guess that's kind of fair if you give someone a place to stay. But he didn't want to come. No, he did. He's been wanting to come for a while. Wait, I want to hear about your birthday. My birthday? By the way, I texted you on your birthday.

You didn't respond. Okay, this is a good topic. I'm sorry. I don't respond to birthday texts. Okay. Am I a bad person? No. I mean, like, I know that you're getting inundated with them

so my mom was horrified she was like you don't and she was like i respond to all my birthday texts and i was like how long does that take you all freaking day and then your birthday is over i love getting them and it's so i like it's so sweet that people obviously are thinking of me on my birthday and send me the message and i love getting them. But it's just like, if I sat there and responded to all of them, I wouldn't be enjoying my birthday. I'd be on my phone the whole day. And on my birthday, I was at a horse show. So I was busy with that all day. And then my most of my family's here in town. So that night, we just had like a very low key dinner and hang. They They got me three birthday cakes for some reason. We had three cakes.

And it was super chill. We just sat around and hung out. And then that was it. I like a chill birthday, man. Yeah. I want to dive into this not responding to texts on your birthday because I don't hate it. Do you respond to every single one? Yeah.

But you're right. I am not being super present. It's to every single one? Yeah, but you're right. Like, I am not, like, being super present. It's a lot of, like, thanks, man. Yeah. What about, like, the next day? The next day when you've got some downtime, are you like, I'm going to catch up? I didn't have downtime.

I don't have downtime. I'm sorry, downtime? Is that a thing when you're an adult? Because I don't have any downtime. Well, you got fucking Magic Man Matt over here breaking your stoles. What are you doing? Everything else.

Practicing for Vegas, cleaning the house, taking care of the dogs, laundry, dishes. There's no downtime in my life. My downtime is cleaning up the house and watching fucking television so that I have something to talk about on this show. That's my downtime. I know. Well, that's your job. Yeah. This is a job.

This is a job. Speaking of, we should probably get into that. I know. We've been talking for 20 minutes about nothing. We haven't even started the show. I know. I think it's you. I hope you have a bell because I don't have a bell.

Oh, I got a bell, baby. Bros and hoes, you're listening to Your Favorite Thing Podcast with... Wells and Brandy, coming at you live from across the country. I don't know if it was last week or the week before, but I was talking about how I went to a Dodger game. My life is like, it's like starting to get back to normal. Anyways, I went to a concert, Brandy. It's all just on your Instagram story. Oh, my God.

I'm like, I got a little emotional about it. Oh, my God. Because it's been so long and it was such a big part of my life for so long. Like when I was in radio, I was having to be at a show like at least three nights a week. And you start to take it for granted when it's like that. And then when something like that is taken away from you, of a sudden you're like oh my god I forgot how much like joy and life this thing brought me and then so then while I was there I was like trying to quantify what that thing was that was like making me feel some sort of way and I realized that as

humans whether it's like some art installation or, you know, you're at like a musical or even a sporting event, which, which you can, which is arguably art and music, especially, I think as humans, we have to witness art being performed or made or created in front of us. It's different than like when you go to a museum and you see something that's already been done, you're like, wow, that's really powerful. but seeing someone actually do it like on you know a walk and someone's like painting a landscape in front of a lake you're like holy shit that's amazing and I was thinking about that in terms of music when you're at at a concert or something someone's actually like making art in front of you for you it's a it's just for I mean obviously it's for thousands of people but it's also just for you

by the way and was also like one of my favorite musicians and bands and stuff but it was like the most satisfying night of my life okay like i didn't realize how much i needed that it was an amazing night dude the world shuts down and then when we come back everything's different so have you ever heard a jam in the van i think they do it like at a lot of festivals and stuff and basically they have bands get into this like kind of badass like retrofitted van and they perform a song and they videotape the whole thing and those songs go viral and stuff it's i don't know if you ever gotten like love blogateca or something like that anyways we used to do like a kind of a

knockoff version at lightning 100 uh at festivals and stuff but jam in the van like go around all these festivals anyways they're now doing shows in los angeles and it's basically like grimies when they do like those parking lot concerts and shit you know i'm not sure if this is legal but like whatever basically in someone's, they set up a stage and stuff, and they had lawn chairs already set up for you, and they were all socially distanced. It was probably like maybe like 50, 60 people. Lawn chairs set up in like twos,

and then coolers at every lawn chair set. And then in the coolers were like craft beers, kombucha, waters, LaCroix. So hipster. Everything you could want. And then if you wanted something else, like a glass of wine or tequila, someone would walk around like, what do you want? And then they would give you that. They'd bring you that. And also they'd walk around and be like, do you want a joint?

Who wants a joint? You want a joint? You want some weed? And then they would hand out these little packets of fucking weed and we were like me my brother and my buddy dan and and um and brett's wife was we're like the world gets shut down we come back we come back to concerts and they're now giving out weed at these concerts what is this so and then then I was seeing Matthew Vasquez, who was lead singer of Delta Spirit, a band that I love,

and he was funny. He was like, because we were all sitting down, he was like, enjoy it now, fuckers. This is the last time you're going to be able to do this. We're going to sardine you

into a stupid little music venue and you're going to be sweating your ass off. And we were like, you're right. And he was like, but to be honest with you, I can't wait for that. He's like, do you know how much, as much as you guys miss going to see live music, I miss performing at sweaty nightclubs and stuff.

Anyways, it was so much fun until the cops come. Oh my God. It was like a fucking house party, dude. Cops come. And then the cop comes up. And by the way, they're handing out weed, so everyone's paranoid. So one cop comes, and he comes in from the back area.

And he starts talking, and the person that he starts talking to is Matthew Vasquez who's the musician he's not the person in charge but I think in the cop's mind it was like this is a house party and the guy that's playing is in charge so he's like hey Matthew hey you've been getting a bunch of noise complaints from the neighbors you You need to turn it down. Looking over your shoulder like, am I supposed to respond to this? And he's like, all right, man, well, I got like three songs left. Cop's like, all right, well, can you turn it down? And the drummer goes, I don't know where the knobs are.

The drum kit wasn't mic'd up. Dying laughing, so baked. So they go and they try to turn their mic. They're like, can you do an acoustic set? And he's like, no, I don't have acoustic stuff here. So they turn everything down. He plays the song and he can't get through it because no one can hear anybody it's just like kind of all fucked up so finally he goes hey man to the crowd he's like hey man he's like this isn't even my fucking house he's like if we get like a citation is everyone cool with like pitching in 10 bucks it's like a vemo

account to pay for the citation everyone's like yeah then he's like all right fuck it then Then he turned everything up and jammed out to Trash Can to close out the night. It was amazing. It actually felt like more fun because I think it transported everyone back to their high school days when that would happen. But anyways, even the cops aren't ready for live music again, which was beautiful. But it was just the most fun night ever well i am so happy for you yeah it's just adorable maybe don't tell sarah that it was like the best night ever if she wasn't there yeah that's fair you're like this is the most satisfying night of my whole life yeah don't tell't tell Sarah that. Okay, like other than like getting engaged

in Fiji, which actually that was pretty great. Yeah. That was a pretty good night. Okay, that was the best night I've had in like a year. There you go. That's fair. That's fair. Anyways. Alright, quick PSA

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solutions, you need ShipStation to help you scale your business. ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiency with a robust all-in-one fulfillment system that integrates ShipStation to help you scale your business. ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiency with a robust all-in-one fulfillment system that integrates with over 180 of the most popular e-commerce platforms, marketplaces, and carriers. Listen, the holiday season is right around the corner. Odds are that you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce. If you're shipping, you got gotta do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time,

extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 89% off UPS, DHL, Express, and USPS rates. What, you don't wanna save money? Come on. Deliver a better customer experience with industry-leading features that help you find the best carrier rates, print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping

software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code yourfavoritething to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code your favorite thing to sign up for your free 60 day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code your favorite thing. Do it. You got some fave things, bro? Bro. Did you ever watch Mare of Eastfound?

No. Because you're on it. I watched the finale last night. Oh my gosh. It's so good. You really do need to watch it. Okay. I guess they're not going to do a season two.

I feel like they could if they really wanted to. There were just so many twists. And it was such an interesting show because it wasn't action-packed or anything like that. You know what I mean? Like it was, it was just very much like focused on the characters and their stories and like stuff happened, obviously like girls are getting kidnapped and there's murders going on and everything, but it,

it wasn't like this rollercoaster ride of a story. It was just kind of like, you know, it just trucked along, but there were so many twists and turns where like, you thought you knew somebody and then, Oh shit, there's somebody totally different like you. But it was so subtle. Like I just I really liked the way they did it. And a lot of these characters, you're kind of like, oh, they're no big deal characters. You know, they're just like secondary like, oh, yeah, that's so and so's husband character, like no big deal. And then by the finale those characters are a very big deal like they play a very large role and i just really liked that about it there is a pretty big twist in the finale that i didn't see coming because it was kind of like a back-to-back double twist where

like it's like they they get you once and you're like ah you're like okay like i didn't think it was him but all right but it's pretty early in the episode so you're like all right so what else is gonna happen in this hour like they've already revealed you know one thing it's like what else can they do and so then they're kind of tying up loose ends like they're tying up some emotional things that Kate Winslet's character has been going through the whole season you know and just tying up some loose ends like with her daughter going off to college blah blah whatever and then all of a sudden, wham, at the very end, one more twist, baby, really gets you. Ooh, I love like a multi-twist sitch.

Yeah, it's really, really good. All the acting was just amazing. Wait, do you have a bell? Yeah. You gotta ding it. We haven't done a single ding. Thank you. I did in the intro of the show.

Oh, thank you. Mayor of East Town. Very good. All right. Must watch. A must watch. All right, all right, all right. I did in the intro of the show. Oh, thank you. Mayor of Easttown. Very good. All right. Must watch. Must watch. All right, all right, all right. I'll get on it.

I'll get on it. For some reason, I don't know why, I really thought that I watched the newest episode of Handmaid's Tale last night. And some, I don't know why I thought it was the finale. Like I thought this was it. And I also thought this was the last. Like I thought this was it. And I also thought this was the last season of Handmaid's Tale. But I'm watching the episode last night and I'm like, this can't be it.

Like this is not a finale episode. Looked it up. We've got like three or four more episodes left of this show. I don't know who told me that it was only seven episodes, but you were freaking dead wrong. And then someone else told me that there's going to be another season. Handmaid's is so good you know what's kind of crazy is that elizabeth moss plays like this uh i don't know this like rebel in this like weird religious cult that is like objectifying and using women in like very incorrect ways while also being a Scientologist. Like in real life, you mean?

Yeah. Oh, I didn't know she was. Yeah. That's interesting. It's a little disingenuous, but I don't know. Damn. She also directed three episodes of this season, which was pretty cool, I thought. I fell off Handmaid's Tale a long time ago,

and it's too far gone to cut back. You're not. You're not. You need to jump back in it's so good I didn't love the book I didn't love like the first season I just I think women can identify with it much more than men can for sure I mean men are made to be yes we're villainized the devil yeah in this so yeah i don't i don't see how a man would want to watch it because men ain't shit in this movie in this show for sure i will concede that i know that a lot of people love it like sarah loves it i just didn't couldn't get into it so good speaking of things i didn't love oh least favorite army of the dead just came out on netflix it's like you know number one amer America right now or whatever on Netflix. You know what I've learned about number one in America on Netflix?

They are awful. I don't know why. I think that Netflix is now out of new shit. And luckily things are getting back and going because they do need some new shit. Because, however, this this movie it looks like they spent a lot of money on have some big names in it and it's just terrible acting okay so basically the lead is Dave Bautista who is in like Guardians of the Galaxy I think he's Grax and he's really funny in Guardians of the Galaxy because he has to play Grax. And he's really funny in Guardians of the Galaxy

because he has to play this really deadpan, no sense of humor guy that ends up being really, really funny. So he's the lead. And I hate to say this, I don't think he's a leading man. He's not a strong enough actor. He's just not.

I'm sorry, guys. You can disagree with me, but I just do not think that he can carry something like that. Anyways, it's a shoot-em-up zombie movie that takes place in vegas this is when i was like well i'm in vegas here it like starts out with i don't want to ruin it for anybody but i should there's no one should watch me i'm sorry it's fucking horrible it starts out like the army transporting some like crazy

crate across the desert and they get into a car crash and then what's in the crate gets out and find out it's like this like crazy zombie guy and the crazy zombie guy just like start just fucks all the the army guys up and bites them and stuff and then starts to create like this army of the dead and then so then they take over vegas and there's like really cool montage of like it being taken over and everything by the zombies so then basically america like builds like this giant wall around vegas so there's like refugee camps like outside of the wall of the army of the dead and like basically the government's like so we're just going to nuke this place this like chinese businessman hits up dave batista who was in his past like a badass army guy, but now is flipping burgers at the refugee camp and is like, I'll pay you $50 million to go into Vegas, to go to like the Bellagio, to get inside the vault, to get all that money and bring it out.

And you can keep $50 million and compose a team. compose a team if it was like shot of the dead where it like knew how stupid it was and it was like being funny about it then this could have worked but it's like a serious zombie movie with like really bad acting amazing effects it's zach snyder fucking directed it and wrote it so like i could be totally wrong it was a movie that halfway through i I turned off. I was like, I can't do this anymore. What? Yeah, I was like, I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry. This is just so bad.

Like, the acting's bad. God, guys. And I hate to do this. I hate to be that guy. But, like, Army of the Dead, no ding. Mm-mm. No ding. Bumskies.

I'm telling you, I will never watch a number one show on Netflix again. Yeah. You're not wrong with that, you know? It's like, what are you doing? Are you putting these things at number one so people will watch them? Because everyone's already watched what's truly number one, and then we need more? I mean, I don't know. It's weird.

It's almost like a tactic. They're putting things on this top 10 list that aren't really in the top 10, but they just are trying to get people to watch stuff. Kind of like startup. So I actually started startup on the plane. It's like this show is so old, and it's on this like top 10 list all of a sudden. Did they just put it there

because everyone's watched everything else and they're just trying to give you something that you think is new? Yes. And I think that Netflix probably just recently acquired the rights for it. It's like they didn't have it before. So it's new to Netflix.

Right. Did you like Startup, though? I love it. Okay, cool. I'm like halfway through season one. Here's the thing. It is really violent. I wasn't prepared for that, I don't think.

And it's funny because it's like Adam brody and his thing and like i just you don't picture him having this like violent show you know what i mean yeah so it's pretty violent and uh and stuff but i do love it and it's really like yes it's it is about cryptocurrency obviously because that's that startup that they're trying to do. But, like, it's really just more of, like, I don't know, I guess, like, an action show, right? Because, like, the mobs involved and, like, bad FBI guys, you know. Oh, that guy? What's his name in real life, the FBI agent?

Martin Freeman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What else has he been in? He's been in so much. He's Bilbo in The Hobbit. Oh, that's right. That's right. He also, I think he's like a classically trained Shakespearean actor from London.

Oh, really? I think he's like the real deal fucking Holyfield. Oh. He's in Black Panther. He's in all The Hobbits. He plays Dr. Watson in Sherlock. Oh, that's right. He's in Captain Americaica civil war like he is

he's been in so much he was in fargo tv series that's the hallmark of early good actors when you fucking hate them on hate hate yeah speaking of like i know these are old, but I'm running out of things to watch. I started watching Lost in Space. I never watched that. So it's a remake, right? It was a popular show in our parents' era that they've now recreated. So it came out in 2018, so we are old on it. Here's the tag.

After crash landing on an alien planet, the Robinson family fight against all odds to survive and escape but they're surrounded by hidden dangers lost in space basically i don't know if you ever like if you watch the original one this one's a little bit different but um the robinsons are just like a normal family the mom's like super smart the dad's like army guy all the kids are like really really smart and they're on this like transport ship to a different world because it's a tale as old as time we're ruining this planet so we have to go find another one they get attacked while in route to this new planet and it looks like they kind of fall through like this weird like wormhole and then all of a sudden they show up they're on like the other side of the galaxy when they were attacked on their on their

ship going over they're attacked by like what these like robot looking things when they land on the planet they're just like trying to survive and stuff and the youngest boy whose name is will robinson gets like separated from his family and he gets like kind of stuck in this tree and one of the robots that was like killing everyone up on the the ship when they were in route his ship had crash landed right by this tree and he the robot had been ripped in half and And so the robot's upper body is stuck in a tree with Will Robinson. It's trying to kill this little boy. And his legs are way down on the ground or whatever. And because the robot's ship had crashed where they were, the entire forest was on fire.

And Will's like, well, we're going to die. We're both going to die. I might as well try to help you. And Will's like, well, we're going to die. Like, we're both going to die. I might as well try to help you. So he figures out a way to, like, get the robot's lower body to attach to its upper body. And then when he does that, the robot realizes that Will Robinson is good.

And he wants to, like, keep him alive. And so he becomes, like, basically his protector. His catchphrase, which is from the old one, is danger,inson danger will robinson but anyways this robot's badass like it's fucking super strong it's got fucking laser eyes got crazy stuff but then all of a sudden all the people are like that's the fucking thing that shot us up in space like you can't keep this thing but they're all crossed because this robot has like continually saved this family's life. And obviously there's like other dangers on this planet. Anyways, it's real sci-fi. It's kind of nerdy, but I really like it.

And Parker Posey's in it. I don't know if you remember her. She was in a lot of stuff, but I think her biggest thing was Days of Confused. And then she also did Best in Show. Anyways, she's the bad guy in this. And she is such a good bad guy. That's funny. Yeah. Anyways, she's the bad guy in this, and she is such a good bad guy. That's funny.

Yeah. Anyways, it's not bad. I'm digging on Lost in Space. I'm three years late to it, but it's good. Better late than never. Game of Thrones. Yeah. Creator, George R.R. Martin.

Uh-huh. Do you know he's got a sci-fi show out called Night Flyer? martin uh-huh do you know he's got a sci-fi show out called night flyer no but i feel like i remember people talking about how he was doing another show yeah and so i started watching i watched like the first episode last night and so i'm not sure if i'm giving this a ding or not right now but okay i mean you know he's a good storyteller, obviously, because of Game of Thrones. It's kind of similar to the Lost in Space thing. Effectively, they've created a team to go after what they think is an alien spaceship that's in our solar system, and they're sending out a spaceship to go get in contact with. It's all about trying to make contact with aliens, even though we're going to find out

about the aliens this month. We're going to have about the aliens this month um we're gonna have all the answers this month yeah so one thing that they kind of explain in in it is that like the alien ship is putting off these certain energy there's certain rays that they have been noticing are also being put off by people who are telepaths on earth and so this is in like 2099 or something like that it's like way down the road and so their thought is is that we should bring like one of these telepaths with us in case we need to use the telepath to talk to the aliens turns out telepath real bad guy really fucks with a lot of people and it turns into it's a little space odyssey it's a sci-fi show but it's like a ghost story because because like people are seeing things people are seeing like dead people and they're all thinking it's a telepath everyone's

like the telepath is we've got him fucking sedated and he's asleep but what do you talk you know like and so it's a little bit sci-fi a lot bit kind of ghost story only not through the first episode but i'm feeling like it's gonna be a good one okay love a good sci-fi i got a it's now a funny story but before it wasn't a funny story okay so sarah's been gone i've been at the house basically just taking care of the dogs and the dogs because sarah's gone the dogs are starting to act out a little bit like getting upset and so they're starting to like eat stuff on the counter when i'm gone okay so do you leave your dogs out to roam the house when you're gone? I was and, and now they've lost that privilege. Yeah. Like, do you put your dogs up when you leave? Have to either up? Like I thankfully have like a laundry room, like mudroom situation for them to go in. Or if it's nice out, out in the yard, out in the yard. They cannot roam the house.

They either eat things, get into shit, or for some reason, even though they don't do this at all when I'm home and they're completely potty trained, the two little dogs go upstairs and take a shit in one of the bedrooms up there every time I leave them out. Yeah, I think it's like civil disobedience for dogs. It's crazy. You restrict my rights, this is what happens.

It's insane. So, you know, it was my birthday a couple weeks ago, and so someone, I actually think it was See's Candy, I think they sent me like a birthday thing, right? Okay, yeah. And, you know, I'm not a huge sweets guy, but I do enjoy a piece of candy every once in a while. And so I have like this box of See's candy like on the counter, but like kind of far away.

It's hard to get to or whatnot. And so I come home one day and they've eaten the entire box of See's candy. Oh, no. And anyone who has dogs knows that chocolate is like toxic to dogs and this isn't like a milky way this is fucking dark like god luxurious chocolate you know it sees candy so i'm like fuck i call my vet and the vet's like you need to call because it was like after five so they're like you need to call like the 24-hour one down the streets then i'm like okay so then i call the 24-hour one down the street and they're like all right you need to call because it was like after five. They're like, you need to call like the 24 hour one down the streets. Then I'm like, OK.

So then I call the 24 hour one on the street. And they're like, all right, you need to call this number. And I'm like, motherfucker, I gotta call someone else. Like you gotta call this number and you need to talk to them. And they're going to tell you if you need to bring your dog here or not. And I was like, is it like some sort of like for toxic stuff? Like hotline? Yes.

Have you done this? Oh, yeah. So you call them up and they're like all right we're gonna tell you if your dog is gonna die but first it's gonna be 65 and you're like oh you're not doing this out of goodness of your heart okay great here's my credit card don't know what to do by the way carl is a fucking billy goat dude he's eating panties he's eating bras he just shits that stuff out and he's bebopping around the house what are you doing like one if carl ate it fine the billy goat is gonna fucking survive this

now boo on the other hand is like laying on the ground like i'm like oh no i tell the toxic lady i'm like what do i do here and so she's like well i gotta do the math for both of them and then do the math if they eat half of it let's start with car and i was like i don't think the billy goat's in trouble right now he's bebopping around like he's fucking thinking this is a party and so she's like hey you know how much does he weigh i was like 95 pounds immediately she was like he's fine and i was like what do you think he's like he's too big he's like he might have a tummy ache but he's like human size don't worry about him so then i was like all right so boo you know 60 pounds you know a labrador so she's like well that one and i was like i think

boo did it because she's the one that's laying on the ground, whatever. And Carl's be whopping around. And so she's like, here's what you got to do because Boo might be in trouble. You got to feed him hydrogen peroxide. Peroxide, yeah. You knew this. Yeah. So I'm like, how the fuck do I get a dog to drink hydrogen peroxide?

So she's like, dip it in some bread and the bread will absorb it and then take them outside and walk them around they'll throw up and so she's like just to be safe do it for both the dogs and i was like the billy goat's gonna be fine don't worry about you're like we're not we're not ingesting peroxide just to be safe i give it to both of them. Faze is Carl's zero, okay? Oh, God. Carl's just like, ooh, bread.

Let's go play. Be bopping around. I give it to Boo. Boo's like, uh-oh, this is not right. So Boo's just, Boo! Boo!

She's fucking barfing all over the place and Carl's like, fucking chocolate barf! So then Carl's like, fucking try to eat the chocolate barf and I'm pulling Carl off and he's like no no no he's like fuck you man I didn't get on the first go around I'm going for it now! And Boo's like

what the fuck did you just feed me? Blah blah blah Carl be like oh yeah! Barf! Ah! It was this fucking chaotic 30 minutes of my life where one dog couldn't stop throwing up the other dog wouldn't stop trying to eat throw up oh my god oh my god come to find out was there was there chocolate in her throw up i could see like peanuts and stuff so that like oh man so anyways here's

what i learned i do think that chocolate can be toxic to dogs. I think it's really toxic for really tiny dogs. Because I freaked out. And then when I talked to the toxicologist, they were like, you know. I was like, what are we looking at here? Are we looking at death? You know? That's why, you know.

Well, I don't know. And everyone's like, cocoa for dogs is like cyanide. And I'm like, what am I looking at here? I was like, are we talking death here? Because, by the way, this is Sarah's dog. My dog, the billy goat, is going to be just fine. And so she's like, no, no, no. Like, throwing up and diarrhea.

If they can't stop throwing up and having diarrhea, they need to take them to the vet. Not death. I feel like there's a stigma amongst Americans that it's like cyanide for dogshuh amongst americans that like it's like cyanide for dogs this happens to you here's what you do you get some hydrogen peroxide uh you feed it to them you put one dog away from the other one because they'll just try to eat it and um yeah by the way they never threw up the only time the dog got sick was when i made it

sick with hydrogen peroxide boo never got sick never had like diarrhea just shat normally the next day so there you go that's nuts so the reason i know all about this many many years ago when i had feather yeah noah and i were sleeping in an rv at a horse show we like when we were horse showing in San Diego, we took the RV down and she and I slept in the RV and Feather was in there. And Noah used to have a thing. There's this like chain place called Nothing Bunt Cakes. You ever seen it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Noah was obsessed with it. And she made me take her to get a chocolate bunt cake. And she put it like on the counter in the RV. And I guess didn't tell me she left it out. And we came back and Feather had eaten the entire thing. Yeah. And it was chocolate.

And so, of course, I lost my mind. And I had to do all this as well. But she was fine too. She was totally fine. I don't want to trivialize the chocolate myth. I know. Because I'm sure this has affected some people. It's like,

well maybe worry about it, but I just love the, Oh my God, we need to save your dog. But first can we have $65 credit card? Will that be Amex or MasterCard? Uh huh. Okay.

It's insane. All right. Well you got any music? Maybe, but before we get to that, I just want to say to the wife tears. Yeah. I would,

I really would like to read a new book. Like, I need some book recs. I miss reading, you know? Yeah. So if you guys have any good book recs, maybe shoot them my way in the DMs because I got to be on a bunch of airplanes coming up and I just miss reading. I'm telling you, you need to read Beneath the Scarlet Sky. Please read that book. Oh, yeah.

I do need to read that one. Please read that book. Oh, yeah. I do need to read that one. Please read that book. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. Do you remember how you played Vance Joy last week and I made the joke about Foy Vance and

Vance Joy showing up at a party and someone needs to change their name? Yep. Well, funny enough, I was listening to my release radar and I really liked this Foy Vance song. It's called Sapling from the record Saplings slash Signs of Life. Am I strong enough? I once built a power I could build you a home Together forever, but forever and on It's still not long enough

It's still not long enough The look of fear was in your eyes And I could see myself as a child such a devastating feeling Floyd Vance has got like this kind of Van Morrison vibe to him that I really like

yeah he does have you heard of Patsy P-A-T-Z-Y no this song Bleeding showed up and I was like okay oh this song bleeding showed up and i was like okay I like that one. It's not groundbreaking or anything.

I think it's actually been out for a second. But you know what song I really do like? I played it's actually been out for a second. But you know what I, what song I really do like, I played it in Vegas this weekend and was like, you know what? This is, I like this. Did you ever get into glass animals?

Yeah, man. They've got out a new ish song called heat waves. And it's like on all the like pop hits playlist on Spotify right now, which is really funny that glass animals is like on pop playlist, but yeah, I know, but it is to bop.

You just need a better life than this. You need something I can never give. Fake butter all across the road. It's gone now the night is come, but sometimes all I think about is you. Late nights in the middle of June. I like that. It's good, huh? Yeah.

We got to invite Vern on the show real quick. Oh, boy. But we did ask some Patreoners out there what I should do with the wedding, and the majority said wait a bit longer for the big day. I think so, too. I think so, too. Daisy Mendez says,

I agree with Wells. The emotions on the actual day will last a lifetime. I've been married 16 years and still never forget how I felt that day. Definitely worth the wait have a small ceremony with your close friend says beth then throw a big blowout party next year all right well i think we're gonna wait i don't know i don't know what the fuck i'm gonna do sarah is like is bouncing around for verne to take over the

radio program and do erotic shout outs to his favorite harem of women yay shout out to lauren c from texas do you think that's lauren conrad brandy because she's very attractive Shout out to Lauren C. from Texas. Do you think that's Lauren Conrad Brandy? Because she's very attractive. I doubt it. L-C. Oh, baby. Also, shout out to Jillian P. from Georgia.

Where do you think she lives in Georgia? Buckhead? I think that's the rich area. Yes. I like Buckhead. When I went to school, I went over to Buckhead, and I got drunk over there, and I met a woman named Kim G from Pennsylvania, and we made sweet, sweet love. Also, shout out to Kim G from Pennsylvania. PA is Pennsylvania, yes?

Uh-huh. Okay. Also, Darcy. Darcy. Darcy R. from Oregon. She brews her own micro brew and lives on a farm. She's like the Pacific Northwest version of Brandy. I was going to say, I love Oregon.

I could live there. It's just kind of chilly. See, I like that. I could live there. It's just kind of chilly. See, I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to Abby M. from Georgia. Two Georgians. Georgians?

Georgians. Georgians. Georgians. Sounds good. Yeah. Also, shout out to Stacy A. from California. If your name is Stacy, either you are really cool or a big

bitch. There is no in-between with Stacy's. You know? I don't think I know any Stacy's. I know Stacy's mom. Me too. I was going to say that, actually. She's got it going on. I actually slept with Stacy's grandma once.

Oh, boy. Back after the Korean War. A shout out to Marcy W. from Washington. Another Pacific Northwesterner. Marcy. Is Marcy short for anything, you think? Probably. Maybe like...

Marcia? Marcella? Marcella? I think Marcia.cia maybe marcia i don't know anyways those are the shout outs we love you guys very much love you guys all right so you're going to vegas where people go watch you spin the discs man to fucking back to vegas baby bro yeah it's sold out but oh so it's this is actually really cool i booked this it's been on my calendar for like i swear almost a year i've been looking forward to this so like in the height of covid they asked me to do this and i was just like i really hope this happens like you know we were so deep in the roan situation that i was like this is i don't want to get my hopes up like this will probably get canceled but here we are and it's happening

with uh if you listen to country music it's it's with dustin lynch he's throwing like a weekend long party in vegas basically so uh if you bought a ticket to this i'm pretty sure it was just all inclusive you have access to everything all weekend long and And I am DJing at Dre's for the opening party on Thursday night. And then Friday, Dustin and Jordan Davis are playing at Encore Beach Club during the day at a pool party. And I open for them on Friday. And then Saturday, there's a closing party that I just get to go hang out at. I don't have to play at that one. And that's with a guy named Hardy.

And I think Dustin might play there as well. So it's going to be a jam-packed weekend. Everyone's going to be litty kitty. Oh, baby. I love that new slogan. Also, it's going to be 105 degrees all weekend long. Well, that's just Vegas, dude. Yeah, it's going to be real hot.

So hydrate, guys. Hydrate. Bring your water bottles. You going to do gambling? No. No? Now, when I go to Vegas, I don't do gambling. I do some shopping.

Yeah. And I lay by the pool and get a nice tan, and that's about it. And I drink a lot, but you know. Yeah. Well, have fun. To all the Patreoners out there that we're looking forward to our live tomorrow night, we're pushing it because Brandy's going to be in the vague. I'm going to be Litty Kitty in the vague.

We'll have a date for that soon. Stay tuned for that. We love you guys. Hey, Brandy, be safe. Don't sleep with any hookers out there. I will not do that. You know when they say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? You know what that means?

What does that mean? It means that the hookers won't tell your wife about it. That's all that means. Yeah. I don't have a wife. Or husband. Or husband. And I don't hook up with hookers. So I think I'm good.

Alright, you're good then. But just so everyone out there knows knows that's what that slogan means alright guys see you later bye bye woo woo woo I'm tired. I'm tired. Oh, when his father's sick. Hey there.

Yeah, I'm doing the outro thing where I'm playing music and we're going out. I can't hear it. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.