Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Just a Horse Girl and an Alien Conspiracy Theorist

Episode Date: April 7, 2021

This week on YFT, Wells details a horrific murder on his run that ended with some serious sh!t in his eye. We also ask a series of polls we’d love your feedback on. We learn that Wells was not invited to be a part of KB’s April Fool’s prank (sad) but that he has his own trauma from an April Fool’s past involving a fake pregnancy scare. Don’t do that people... Never do that. Brandi ran into the Bachelor crew who always seem to travel together and we get the inside scoop! We then, as always, dive into our list of fave things including a special song for Brandi that Wells found while “strolling” (?) through TikTok. Oh, we also talk aliens. Enjoy!  Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers:  NUTRAFOL – Go to nutrafol.com and enter promo code YFT for 20% off your first month’s subscription plus free shipping on every order   ARTICLE – Go to article.com/yft to get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more  BILLIE – Go to mybillie.com/YFT to get your starter kit for just $9 plus free shipping always   SKYN – Shop SKYN condoms on Amazon.com Join our community at Patreon.com/YourFavoriteThing 

All right, guys, a lot has changed over the last years. And if you're growing your e-commerce business, yeah, you can relate. Whether you're looking for better efficiency during the hectic holiday season or your business has outgrown your old shipping solutions, you need ShipStation to help you scale your business. ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiency with a robust all-in-one fulfillment system that integrates with over 180 of the most popular e-commerce platforms, marketplaces, and carriers. Listen, the holiday season is right around the corner. Odds are that you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce. If you're shipping, you got to do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches.

It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 89% off UPS, DHL, Express, and USPS rates. What, you don't want to save money? Come on. Deliver a better customer experience with the industry-leading features that help you find the best carrier rates,

print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code YOURFAVORITETHING to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code YOURFAVORITETHING. Do it. All right. Let's go back from a run. And, uh, I killed a fly. With my eyeball. So, live with that now. With my eyeball.

Death by eyeball. What a bitch way to go out for a fly. What killed you? Eyelashes. Ding-a-ling-a-doong. Bing-bong-boom what you gonna do? hello

what's up? nothing what are you doing? I'm about to do a podcast with my friend Brandi oh really? oh you are? that's cool I just got back from a run you are outdoors a lot and in nature and stuff.

Has this ever happened to you where a fly has flown into your eyeball and then you kill it with your eyeball? And then you have to go fishing for the corpse of a dead fly on your cornea? I have contacts. So my contacts catch it, which is pretty nice. No, because the contact only goes over like the colored part. And a lot of times it's like deep in the recesses of the, you know? Yeah, it's really not the best. What's worse though, catching it with your eyeball or swallowing it?

Catching it with your eyeball, I think. Huh. I get pretty disgusted when I think I've ingested a fly. What happens to everyone when they die? They void their bowels. It's a fact. Look it up. So what's happening here, and I assume it happens to all animals, even insects.

So what the fly does is it flies into your eye. It starts to suffocate and die due to the mucus and the tears in your eye and the, you know, the eyelid going up and down trying to figure out what's going on. So then it shits itself in your eyeball. So you got fly shit in your eye. It's the worst. I was on a run. If someone was watching me, they would have thought that i got shot by a sniper in the bushes i went down like a sack of potatoes and then i didn't know what to do and i was just like oh no so then i had my phone with me so that i'm using my phone looks la that

looked like i was like trying to take some like like the weirdest selfie ever where I had this thing straight up to my fucking eye. And I can see this dead fly in there. And then I'm like, how do I get it out? Do I use my dirty ass fingers? Do I get a stick? Well, that's probably dirty too. I don't have Q-tips with me. So what did you do?

I ended up using my fucking nail and I went in there and I fished her out. And by doing that, I think I scratched something. Now my eye just hurts or my eyeballs allergic to fly shit, which is definitely still in there. Is fly shit in your mouth really that much better? I don't know. I guess like the question is, is like, would you rather have human shit in your mouth or in your eye? That's a tough one. That's a tough one.

The hard-hitting questions here on YFT. I can't even answer. Hey, YFTers. I literally can't answer. Would you rather have human shit in your eyeball or in your mouth? Answer the poll on the Instagram. Oh, God. It makes me sound so bad.

Here's the thing. You get human shit. The fact that I'm breaking this down is fucked up, but whatever. Because if you get human shit in your mouth, that's gross. Nothing probably will happen to you. There's a good chance you won't get sick. You know what you will get? What?

That's how you get pink eye. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying like, I know you're going to get pink eye. And to be honest with you, I would rather, even if I were to get sick from shit in my mouth, that's like, what, a day's worth of throwing up? But pink eye is for like three days. No one wants to get close to you because you become so fucking contagious. You're a toxic monster.

And everyone knows you have shit in your eye. Yeah, exactly. So I'm going with shit in my mouth. Oh, wow. Are we this desperate for content? Oh, the sad thing is that this is as good as the show is going to get. That's probably true. You know what? It's all downhill from here.

Which, by the way, I was asking that on my Instagram the other day. And the whole, like, it's all downhill from here thing has always confused me. And I did a poll. Did we talk about this? Mm-mm. But I saw it on your Instagram. What do you think when someone says it's all downhill from here? What does that mean to you? When I hear that, I feel like it means it's going to get, everything's going to get easier. Going downhill is so much easier. That's what I said on Instagram. But the thing is,

is that like, it's all downhill from here means it's going to get worse. Yeah. But people don't say it's all uphill from here. No, they don't. They say it's all downhill from here. So anyways, second poll for the YFTers out there. It's all downhill from here. Does that mean I got human shit in my eyeball? Or it's all downhill from here. Does that mean I got human shit in my mouth? What does it mean? There's a song called that when like emo rock was in. Pete Wentz's band, Newfound Glory. Newfound Glory. I don't know if I even even remember i actually am friends with the guitar player in this band name droppy should i call i was gonna say should i call him and ask him what the song means yeah you're hiding something cause it's burning through your eyes

i try to get it out but all I hear from you are lies. In a guitar, you're going through the motions. Thinking you were arrested, ask your boss. Once again, we're playing off emotion. All those bands sound the exact same. Yeah, they do. I couldn't even really hear any of those lyrics. Could you?

No, I couldn't, but it sounded just like this. Right? Uh-huh. I mean, no offense to your friend, but like Newfound Glory and Blink-182, all those bands sound the same. So send to me. Yeah. Well, he's not the singer, so I don't think he would be that offended. Yeah. And also

I know they made a bunch of money, so whatever. So whatever. It's all good. Anyways, I'm back home now. Well, can you tell us anything from your travels? I don't think so. I think, I don't think. I was just hanging out in Albuquerque. Mm-hmm.

Just hanging out, huh? Hanging out in the Kirk. That's what they call it down there. They call it the Kirk. Do they? No, I don't know. Maybe they do. They should.

If they don't, they should. The real question is, were you part of the whole Caitlin Bristow, April Fool's prank? There were so many people on the group text. I couldn't, I didn't really go through to see who was on it. Were you on there? No. And I'm a little offended, actually. Because I talked to her about it and I should have been like, you know what?

Fuck you, man. Because I'm friends with jason what are you i guess not honestly i hate april fools but it felt really good to be part of that prank because it was pretty epic so if everyone isn't out there doesn't know we're talking about caitlin april fooled jason by this was such a long con, dude. Like, kind of twisted. She sent him a nude the night before. Okay. And then the next day on April Fools, she had like 30 of his friends text him at the same time being like, did you mean to post that?

Which made him think that he accidentally posted the nude of caitlin which is a great prank by the way phenomenal really good dude everyone in the kirk i'm sure was freaking out about it everybody really like got creative with their text yeah like i know he posted a bunch of them and i was not very creative at all because I was riding my horse. I had an alarm set to remind me. And I was like literally cantering around and my alarm was up and I'm like, shit. And I like pull thing and he was angry. Rightfully so. Yeah. Freaking out. But also, I mean, he should just post the picture now. Like next year on April Fool's, he should be like, April Fool's, here's the picture.

All right. That would be so bad. Oh, God. Anyways, I was telling her about the April Fool's prank that was played on me. And have I told you that story? I don't know. I think I have, but I'll tell it again because it is a pretty good one. Okay.

So this was back in college. I was like casually dating this girl. We weren't like boyfriend, girlfriend. It was college, you know, like a college relationship, you know? And this is when I was playing rugby. And this is so far back. I mean, cell phone service is spotty now, but like go back to 2005. Okay. And just like, try to remember those days. So I was traveling for a rugby game and we were like driving back from like Georgia or Alabama. I can't remember who we were playing. We had a huge van for the team. And so I'm driving with 20 guys in a van and I get a text message from the girl at the time that I was dating. And she wrote, hey, listen,

when you get back, we really need to talk about something. And so I'm thinking that, hey, you know, I don't want to date you anymore or, you know, or like this needs to be serious or whatever. I'm just like, okay, well, like, can you like give me like a vibe as to like what we need to talk about? And she goes, I wanted to do this in person, but you know, I'm late. And I went and took a pregnancy test. My heart sinks. Holy shit. And of course I'm like, my life is over. My college career is over. No way. And so, of course, I'm like telling all, I'm showing the phone to like my close friends in the team.

And they're just, everyone's just like, holy shit, dude, your life is over. No offense to anyone who's ever gotten pregnant and unwanted pregnancy. To be fair, I was actually a mistake. True story. Same. No, so there you go. We turned out great. great we turned out great like we're the joy of our parents lives so i text her back and i'm like okay we really need to talk and so we pulled over at a uh like a gas station or whatever and i call her and i have no service nothing right like no service at the time like we need to Like we need to talk.

We need to talk right now. We go through like 45 minutes stretch of like no service, right? And I'm losing my mind. 45 minutes of just like pure hell. Like I've seen my life end before my eyes and I can't believe it. And all my fucking teammates are just like, Jesus Christ, well, I couldn't wear a goddamn condom.

And finally we get back like in like the city limits and cell phone reception comes back on. And she of course had like right after I was like, wait, hold on, we need to talk. Had been like, April Fool's. And that was the last time I ever spoke to that woman. Oh my God. Honestly, that's warranted. like that's pretty bad that's a horrible joke to play

horrible should we start the show or yeah we gotta start the show good yeah uh is it me or you i think it might be me go for it bros and hoes you're listening to your favorite thing podcast with Wells and Brandy. Don't forget to wear condoms. Seriously. All right. Quick PSA for those of you out there who rent. If you haven't heard of built, you're about to thank me. Earning points on rent is now a reality when you pay your rent through built. You don't even have to check with your landlord to start earning points that you can use towards

flights, hotel stays, fitness classes, and even your next rent payment. All right, let me break it down for you. There's no cost to join built. And as a member, you'll earn valuable points on rent and your everyday spending. Built points can be transferred to your favorite hotels, airlines, and even the ones you haven't heard of. There are over 500 airlines and 700,000 hotels and properties around the world you can redeem your built points towards. Points can even be redeemed towards the future rent payment and unique experiences that

only built members can access. So start earning points on rent you're already paying by going to joinbuilt.com slash YFT. That's joinbuilt, J-O-I-N-B-I-L-T dot com slash YFT. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you. Again, joinbuilt.com slash YFT to start earning points on your rent payments today. All right, guys, a lot has changed over the last years. And if you're growing your e-commerce business, yeah, you can relate. Whether you're looking for better efficiency during the hectic holiday season or your business has outgrown your old shipping solutions,

you need ShipStation to help you scale your business. ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiency with a robust all-in-one fulfillment system that integrates with over 180 of the most popular e-commerce platforms, marketplaces, and carriers. Listen, the holiday season is right around the corner. Odds are that you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce. If you're shipping, you got to do it with ShipStation.

Lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 89% off UPS, DHL, Express, and USPS rates. What, you don't want to save money? Come on. Deliver a better customer experience with the industry-leading features that help you find the best carrier rates, print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code your favorite thing to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings.

That's ShipStation.com. Code your favorite thing. Do it. How you living? Pretty good. Have I been somewhere? I feel like I've been somewhere. I'll tell you where I've been. Where you been? I went out on the town. No. To a club on Friday night. You can do that? It's the first time I've done it since February. Yeah. Right, of last year. I mean, it's been a long time. Is everyone wearing masks? You have to wear a mask to get in the door. Yeah. But then once you get in there, definitely not everyone's wearing them because people are, quote unquote, drinking.

Yeah. Uh-huh. Wow, what's it like? It was something. It was limited capacity, so it wasn't like, you know, like body to body, like fully packed or anything. So it was definitely a different club vibe. But I went out to support our boy, Balake, who was DJing. Oh. My precious little, little Balake.

How were his transitions? Good transition, bad transitions? I think he went to DJ school and I can tell. Yeah. Yeah. Like I was impressed. He started out really strong he did a couple transitions around the bat and i was like look at blake go like we are going from like hitting

space bar on the caitlin bristow tour to actually making transitions and using tractor and djing like he was getting it um blake's music choices are very different than mine so you know blake blake likes what Blake likes. But the girls were loving it. They were loving it. A lot of Bachelor people were there. I don't know how that works. They seemed to all travel in a group.

Have you noticed this? They're like dead heads. Parrot heads. Jimmy Buffett's version of it. What should we call Bachelorette Bachelor fans that travel? No, I mean actual contestants. Oh, I saw it was Dylan who had tweeted like Bachelor producers must be loving the fact that everyone's hanging out or something like that.

And I didn't really know what that meant. Who was all there? I'm sure they're all friends, but I really feel like they like they really PR these opportunities of like, let's all go to Nashville and be seen and get our Instagram engagement pop in. For sure. For sure. But everybody was super nice. A couple of them I've met before. Clay was there.

I've seen Clay a bunch. Chris Bukowski, always a nice guy. And then a bunch of newbies. Spencer and who was the other newbie? Oh, Jason. Jason was there. Jason, by the way, is the most bro name of any Bachelor guy ever. It's pretty bro-esque, yeah.

And also Chris that used to be with Crystal was there. The Goose? That one, yes. The Goose was loose on the town in Nashville. So it was quite the crew. Kelsey Weir was there. I think she just moved to Nashville. She's also super sweet.

This is the second time I've met her as well. She's really nice. So everyone had a great time. Blake put on a great show and it felt good. I can't believe I'm saying that. It felt good to be back in a club. It did. Can I ask you this?

Do you have any tea for us? Was anyone fucking hooking up yet? Was it stagecoach 2019 all over again? No, one could only hope. It was very tame, actually. Everybody was drinking, but like they were playing limbo, which I don't really get that. Do you know that's like a thing? Like people do this often where they get drunk and they're at a party or in a club and all of a sudden start playing limbo.

Have you noticed this? Like where they try to go underneath the bar and they limbo under it? Is that what you're talking about? Yeah. Yeah. And in this instance, like I guess somebody had like a really long scarf that they were like holding, like two people were holding. It definitely wasn't Kelsey. I don't think it was Bachelor Girls.

I think it was fans that were doing it with the guys. And literally every single one ate shit going through there. Like one girl was like had like two drinks, one in each hand. And she was like trying to like, you know, be impressive or whatever. And she literally fell, legs spread wide open, both drinks just going everywhere. Cooter out. I think it's so hard not to laugh, but yes. Yeah.

Okay, so. It was something. For Kay, I have a lot of questions about this, and I love the fact that you've got the inside info, and I don't. One, what club was this at? Like, what, was it Kid Rock's Bar? Please tell me it was. No, no, no, no.

It was, you know, the Dream Hotel. They have a club on in the basement like underneath of it called dirty little secret and that's where we were got it okay speaking of kind of new speaking of secrets what did you find out i know someone who is vibing with kelsey their name kelsey kelty kelsey kelsey i didn't i don't i really kelsey was just like doing her own thing she she was like like had a very cool had it together. It was her birthday and her sister, you know, she's a twin sister. Her sister was there, too.

So maybe she was like being PG because her sister was there. I don't know. But she wasn't flirting with anybody. She was just there to hang because, you know, this is going to be important information for me to have in paradise. Uh huh. Yeah, because I mean, i could definitely see kelsey going she wasn't flirting with anybody there so maybe she's been talking to somebody else yeah right on instagram yeah right not that wasn't there i'm telling you no there were no there

was no energy there with her and anybody else don't believe it you know who i do think is going to paradise for sure i mean i don't i don't know this for sure i'm just speculating kelly she's paradise ready she is paradise ready i saw her she was like posting on her story about like i guess i didn't really notice that she lost a bunch of weight because i thought she looked great on her on the season she was on but i guess everyone's saying she's gotten really skinny and she looks great and i'm like you're going to paradise aren't you all signs point to paradise is happening this year oh yeah i agree and i think this is going to be one of the best seasons ever because there's so much talent to choose from and by talent i mean people with

no talent other than they look amazing on television. Yeah, it's going to be good. I mean, I don't know why they wouldn't have it. If they can have The Bachelor and The Bachelorette and they do Paradise the same way where they quarantine everybody before and test everybody and then, you know, in Paradise, they really they always just stay in one location. So I would think of all of the shows that would be the easiest one to pull off. Yeah. Anyway, that's where I've been. That's great. Good for you, kid.

I'm jealous of you. Well, we should do some favorite things, bro. Okay, bro. You got some fave things or no? I got some fave things. Okay, give me something. I don't know if it's plural. I haven't thought that far, but I do have one

big thing. What do you got? This new HBO Max series called Made for Love. Have you seen it? No. Tell me all about it, though. I was hoping you'd seen it, because I'm very curious to hear your take. You have to go watch. Made for Love.

Comedy. Drama. Sci-fi. What? What? Wait, hold on. What? Okay. Yes, I know. It's not like a reality show? No, no. Oh, I thought it was like a dating show. No, it's not reality. Got it. Okay. A young woman on the run after 10 years in a suffocating marriage to a tech billionaire suddenly realizes that her husband has implanted a revolutionary monitoring device in her brain that allows him to track her every move. Made for love. Whoa, dude. So Elon Musk. It's pretty Elon Musk It's pretty good

I don't know what the theme is these days With like love and technology It's because like you know We just watched The One which I loved so much And it was also kind of like that situation But this is like taking it To a whole nother level Okay and so here's what's interesting about this show

Is it is Like very much trying to be a comedy, but it's very dark. She's like killing people and then like they're laughing about it. And it's like the comedic timing of everything is very interesting. That's why I'm curious for you to watch it. It's Chris Miloti. She was in Palm Springs, which we talked about. I was. Okay.

Yes. I couldn't remember. I was like, I feel like I've seen her before, but she, but I didn't know where. And I don't know, she, I don't know. She didn't stand out to me that much, but she's really, really good. Yeah. She also did an episode of Black Mirror. She was in Modern Love. She's a little bit of the new it girl, I feel like. Oh, I can see that. Yeah. It is a little Black Mirror-ish, I knew it, girl, I feel like. Oh, I can see that. Yeah.

It is a little Black Mirror-ish, the way it's set in the future. And Billy Magnuson, the guy, the lead guy, whatever, he plays this tech billionaire. They live in this compound that apparently they haven't left the compound for 10 years. And they have a dolphin swimming in their pool. And where the sci-fi stuff comes in is like anywhere in the world that they want to like transport to they can like snap their fingers and all of a sudden they're there even though they don't leave the compound like crazy stuff like that like right off the bat the first episode opens with her escaping the compound she's like soaking wet and in this like fancy dress and escaping and you're like what and then they but then they go back and forth between showing you like the escape now and like, and like what her life was prior in the compound.

Right. So it's like constant back and forth. And basically like they've been married for 10 years, but what this guy's working on is this microchip that you put in, like couples put it in their brains, like both of them do. And it's basically like you can read each other's like entire every thought the way he spins it is like two souls but one mind kind of thing like you and your you know it's gonna like solve love because no you and your partner will be on like one wavelength yeah it's psycho well just think about just think about when you have sex with somebody because sometimes you're having sex with somebody you start thinking of like other shit you know or like and if they knew the things that you were thinking about, oh, let her get murdered.

There's endless reasons why this is not a good idea. And so he starts talking about this. And she has, like, you know, she's, like, having an oh, shit moment where, like, I think she's, like, already miserable and wants to leave. And then they announce that, like, this is happening, like, very soon. And she escapes. And then they announced that like this is happening like very soon. And she escapes. And then like in the first episode, you find you find out that he's already put the fucking chip in her brain. So when she escapes, he knows exactly where she is and exactly what she's doing and thinking and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And so that's how it starts. I really like it a lot. There's only it must be coming out weekly because there's only three episodes out. So that's kind of a bummer. But it's really good. Very cool. I'm into that. I'm going to watch that.

We're like super late on this and I feel bad. I really like it. It's a show called For All Mankind. Have you heard that one? Yeah. Is it on Apple? Yeah. So yeah, it was like came out in 2019.

So I'm a little late on it, but whatever. Here's the tag. In an alternate version of 1969, the Soviet Union beats the United States to the moon, and the space race continues on for decades with still grander challenges and goals for all mankind. So, you know who's in it? Joel Kinnaman. The first season of Altered Carbon.

Did you watch that show no i didn't oh that was so good i love the first season of altered carbon i absolutely loved i thought it was amazing anyways okay that's when i first met him but uh he was also in the killing that one we talked about i was on netflix um he was robocop in the new one he's in like the new suicide squad like he's like everywhere and he's the lead in the new one he's in like the new Suicide Squad like he's like everywhere and he's the lead in the show but there's a lot of other big names anyways it's really cool because how crazy and how different our world would have been if like we didn't win the space race to the moon yeah for all mankind I really really like it okay staying on the apple plus train have you seen cherry no but i've been seeing how it's a

popular one uh-huh i have not watched it yet but it's i was watching previews last night and that one came up and it definitely seems like something you would love yeah i think we need to watch that this i know it just seems to work really heavy uh i know but it does sound really good. War vet, has PTSD is what the kind of vibe is. Here's the tag. Cherry drifts from college dropout to army medic in Iraq, anchored only by his true love, Emily. But after returning from the war with PTSD, his life spirals into drugs and crime as he struggles to find his place in the world. It's Tom Holland. Mm-hmm.

This is such a good thing for him to do because he's just like the funny Spider-Man guy. Right. And pivoting over to like this like very serious role is, we're probably going to see that he's like a really good actor and not just like a silly 5'6 Spider-Man. Mm-hmm. You know? Mm-hmm. Just like quick update on the challenge.

Oh boy. CT's going to make it to the final guys. And like, I'm just the biggest CT fan. Listen, I know a lot of people out there think that CT's an asshole and he's like burning bridges left and right. And you know what? You may be right, but CT is phenomenal television. Every interview he does, I'm like, fuck, he's so good at this. I need to be better.

I need more like CT in the interview booth. And he's just good. And you know what? He's played his way. He's an old fucking dog that's learned some new tricks. And he's played his way. It looks like he's played it into the final because he's a man without a partner right now. And it looks like there's probably only going to be one playoff left to go and he can't get in it because he got no partner.

Sad that Big T's gone. She was amazing. But Big T, here's what you got to do, girl, because your social game is so amazing. Everyone loves you. But here's the thing. You're not in good enough shape. And that's no shake against you because you're a tiny little thing. You're not in good enough shape and that's no shake against you because you're a tiny little thing but if you just do a little bit of cardio and a little bit of weightlifting and like who am I to talk but I'm just saying like a little bit of that

before the next one. Sky's the limit for you, Big T. That's all I'm saying. Sky is the limit. Loved you. An amazing character on reality TV. The challenge is good. I do think the YFTers also love the challenge.

Yes, they do. I get a lot of people writing me messages saying like, hey, quit hating on Wells when he does the challenge recaps because we love it. Yeah, no, I know. I don't know if you're watching Hell's Kitchen, but it's phenomenal. I saw some YFTers being like, do you really still think Declan's going to make it to the end? Yeah, really still think Declan's going to make it to the end? Yeah, I do think Declan's going to make it to the end.

All right. Of course, Declan is going to win this thing. No ifs, ands, or buts. And you know what? It doesn't even matter if he wins it because he's going to win the show. Because guess what Declan's going to get? He's going to get some Food Network show

about his ass traveling around Ireland or Scotland or wherever the fuck he is trying out shit or something. He's gonna be like the Anthony Bourdain of Scotland. Declan's gonna win. He's the best. Doesn't matter. All right. And that's all I gotta say about that. Wow. Did you watch the premiere of Manifest? No, because I was gone. So I came back and we watched last night. I came back. All this stuff is like in the queue. We watched Hell's Kitchen. We challenge so yes manifest is up the bris is up next don't worry the bris you're off the bris aren't you why are we calling it the bris all of a sudden

because that's how it's spelled it's stupid and i'm annoyed by how debris is spelled okay and okay okay i was a little nervous that Manifest was going to come back and not be as good as it's been. I was wrong. So good? The season premiere is great. I loved it. Only complaint I have. You know how they do, like, when they

have their callings, you see, like, not a flashback because it's not in the past, but they have these, like, flashes of something. All of a a sudden the calling flashes have gotten very fake looking okay so they've lost some cgi budget something's go or a part of me feels like they actually upped it and it just looks really bad because they're trying too hard yeah Yeah. That's kind of how I feel. But aside from that, loved it. I don't want to ruin anything for you, so I'll wait till you've watched it.

But like So Happy Manifest is back. Freaking love that show. Still need answers about the flight, about Flight 828. Yeah. You know? Of course. We all do. I know that a lot of people think I'm a crazy alien conspiracy theorist, and I am.

And I was in the Kirk, and I was really hoping I was going to see some aliens because I feel like New Mexico is like where aliens hang out or whatever. I don't know what's going on. So I went down like a rabbit hole of UFO stuff, and I watched a documentary that's on Prime called Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind. And you got to watch it. Great document. I don't think I can. You got to watch it. Great documentary.

You know who narrates it? Who? Ari Gold. Jeremy Piven. It's about this guy named Stephen Greer who was a doctor back in the day. And then he started being contacted by aliens and i know this sounds crazy but like he seems like a pretty normal guy and he's figured out how to communicate with

aliens like so there's all these like different stages like close encounter of the first kind is hearing a radio signal from alien close encounter of the second kind is seeing one third kind is like interacting with one fourth kind is you know it's like there's all these like different steps what's fourth kind i don't know i don't even know i'm fucking all up fifth kind is like the one where you like you're able to converse with them and stuff he's like figured out a way to fucking like call on these aliens and i know this sounds crazy but it's like a lot of these people like hanging out in the desert with him and they are like meditating and stuff they're like opening up their chakras to like the alien i know this sounds crazy but

they have footage of it and all of a sudden ufo show up in the night sky and like he's got a laser pointer he'll point at it and it'll fucking move around and you're like holy shit he did it it doesn't look like i mean what do i know but it doesn't seem like it's faked and they've even got a lot of footage of them feeling presence of like an alien coming down. Then they'll make this like crazy, like blurry picture of the alien right behind them and stuff. Anyways, Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind. If you are into aliens, you gotta watch it. He's also like a straight up consultant for the government about this stuff.

What? Yeah, because like the government's now is just like, yeah, it's real. We don't know what to tell you, but it is freaking real. So good checking. That terrifies me. It shouldn't. And I'll tell you why.

His whole thing is that the aliens are not scary or aggressive at all. Actually, the complete opposite. Opposite. They want like peace and stuff, and so, like, a lot of the stuff that they do is they'll fuck with nuclear bomb sites and, like, be able to, like, turn them all off, because I think they're scared

that we're going to kill everyone. It's really interesting. And that's why his whole meditation thing is all about showing love and affection and being positive and stuff, and that's what these aliens, they really identify with, because they're more of like a positive being than a negative one.

Very interesting. Yeah. So anyways, dude, I'm telling you, go check it out. And like the things like the government, it's all about how the government, of course, wants to weaponize all this stuff and they're not really smart enough to do it.

And gotta go check it out. Okay. My dad would love that. Oh, it's right up Blood's Alley. Go tell him. The last one is The Irregulars. I just started watching it last night with Sarah, but it looks pretty cool. Period piece Patricia, of course, loves this. That's what I call Sarah because Sarah loves a period piece. Okay. Okay. All about period pieces. Set in Victorian London, All about period pieces.

Set in Victorian London, the series follows a gang of troubled street teens who are manipulated into solving crimes for the sinister Dr. Watson and his mysterious business partner, the elusive Sherlock Holmes, the Irregulars. In this world, Sherlock Holmes is not a great guy. Oh. And that's the twist on it. And all these kids are like kind of orphan kids and stuff. I'm really early on it. It's on Netflix.

Just came out a couple days ago. It's pretty interesting. So if you are like period piece Patricia, you might like this too. Sarah loves it. Last night we were watching and we were like, all right, this is cool. We're into it. Okay. I was strolling around TikTok and I saw this

and I thought this was really funny for some reason. You were strolling around TikTok, aka wasting hours of your life strolling through TikTok. This is true. I got this for you, okay? Oh, lovely. Yes. She's a horse girl.

She's crazy about horses. Loves horses. And her horse too. I'm a bad boy. Cause I don't have any horses. I'm a bad boy. For breaking her horse horse she's a horse you're a horse girl horse girls are a thing though yeah Especially there's like a whole horse girl, I guess, club on TikTok,

like a lot of horse videos on TikTok. Oh, I believe it for sure. I got a book rec. Ooh, love a good book rec. I will say this. I did finish The Gray Man. It's very good. And also they almost got me with, this is a series now. It was really hard for me not to fall down the, let's just rip through the series thing. And I didn't, I was strong and I went and I pivoted over to something new. But The Gray Man, very good. Can't wait for the movie. Snow Crash is a book I just started reading and I got a lot of YFTers telling me, they were like, listen, if you're a fan of Ready Player One, you need to read Snow Crash.

Okay. Ready Player One is kind of like a ripoff of Snow Crash. like listen if you're a fan of ready player one you need to read snow crash okay uh ready player one is kind of like a ripoff of snow crash i was like uh okay here's the synopsis in reality hero protagonist which by the way that's his name which i think is really cool it is you're like all right so who's the hero protagonist in this thing and so he he's got weird well it's his fake it's not his real fucking name it's like a fake name that he's created and so his name is hero protagonist in reality hero protagonist delivers pizza for uncle enzo's coaster nasta pizza incorporation but in the meta, he's a warrior prince plunging headlong into the enigma of a new computer virus that's striking down hackers everywhere. He races along the neon lit streets on a search and destroy mission for the shadowy virtual villain threatening to bring about Infopocalypse Snow Crash. to bring about Infopocalypse.

Snowcrash. It's similar to Ready Player One in the fact that there is a real world that people are living in and then everyone is escaping into this. In this one, it's called the Metaverse. Instead of in Ready Player One, it's called the Oasis. Oh, yeah. But like Ready Player One is obviously dives headfirst into cult classics of the 80s whereas this is a lot darker and deals with it seems like it's a lot of drug use and like the underbelly of the internet snow

crash is a drug that you can take while you're in the metaverse and it's like a virus and i'm really early in on it but it but it seems really fucking cool. Very dark, gritty version of Ready Player One. And I'm here for it. So, uh. Okay. Snow Crash by Neil Stevenson. I'm early, but I'm liking.

I think it was the one. Did we talk about you reading that instead of watching it? Or did you already watch the show? The one? Yeah. I watched like the first couple episodes. I didn't see the end of it though. Oh, yeah.

Well, there's a book. I think there's a book. And remember you, I think you mentioned wanting to read the book to see. Oh, yeah. It was different. You got to get on that too. You can read too, sister. But I've already seen the show.

It's different. And also, I really, unless I'm on an airplane, I really don't have time to read. It's my plane hobby. it but you know what flying to denver on friday so why give it a go why are you going to the mile high city because i love it there okay duh duh i'm a big fan of lake street dive i think i played for you oh that song being a woman which i think you liked a lot. And they're just awesome. But on a playlist of mine, something from back in 2014 showed up. And I was like, I love this.

And so this is kind of before I discovered them. It's a song called Bad Self Portraits. It's just so freaking relatable, I feel like. I bought this camper to take pictures of my love Now that he's gone I don't have anybody to take pictures of A lonesome highway is a pretty good subject I'm gonna make myself make a use of this dirt I'm taking landscapes I'm taking still life I'm taking bad self-portraits

Of a lonely woman Very well, Adams. It's so good. I'm taking landscapes. I'm taking bad self-portraits of a lonely woman. It's so good. I mean, I'm not lonely, but I got a really nice camera, and I just take shitty pictures.

Oh, my God. I have no idea what i'm doing did you ever get into kishibashi no i remember we played a bunch of kishibashi back in my uh lightning 100 days but this song popped up the other day and i was like oh i love this uh this is a song called Honey Body. I think I know what's happening to me, Brandi. What? I'm getting ready for summer. Because it's like starting to get nice here in LA. We're on the precipice of coolness. It's always nice in LA. Very true. We're like almost in like

pool days. Sarah and I are like reconfiguring the backyard right now and I'm getting into summer mixes and that's what that Kishi Bashi tune was all about. Me being like, oh, we're going to be sitting by the pool. The Jimmy Buffett margarita machine is going to be coming out. Oh, boy. Hells yeah. I need one of those. You do need one of those.

All right. Well, I don't get a free one. I don't know. When's your birthday? I'll buy you one. Coming up, actually. May 26th. That's right.

It's right after mine. Are you a Taurus or a Gemini? I'm a Taurus. That's what I thought. Yeah. You're a Gemini? Loser. Taurus. That's what I thought, yeah. You're a Gemini? Loser. Tish the Dish is also a Taurus.

Of course she is. That's why her and I are secondary soulmates. Right. I want you to tell her that I have come up with a term called secondary soulmates, and she's my secondary soulmate. She'll probably be like, that's genius. We need to make that a television show because that's a great title i would watch that or tell your dad that's a good song title as well or your sister or your sisters or your brother fuck tell osiris secondary soulmate seems like a good title for something. Can we add one final poll for the YFTers this week? Sure.

What is it? My hair is very long. I can't decide if I should chop her off or keep it long and let it grow. I need answers. Why can't you just chop a little bit off? I'm an all or nothing kind of gal. Wow. I'm either short or long. In between is just like, hmm.

All right. What do you guys think? chop her off for summer or let it grow and keep it long i just don't know decisions we got patreon polls here which burger place deserves a spot at usc i forgot we even did this okay we went with five guys shake shack In-N-Out. Five guys won by a landslide. Wow. It's the best. In-N-Out was second. Shake Shack was third. And Water Burger was dead last.

That's because it's the worst. Don't forget, tomorrow we have a live Patreon for all Tier 2 members. That's erotic grandpa members. 5 p.m. Pacific time, 8 p.m. Eastern. We'll post a link in Patreon then for everyone to come out. That's exciting. I was told to tell you guys, for all you that are erotic grandpas, if they don't include their address, you won't get

merch. Oh, and then also because I complained about the producers not giving us the last name, some people don't want their last names read. So to streamline the process and to be fair to everyone, it's just getting a first name and last initial. I still don't like that, but whatever, whatever you guys want. I think that's fair. Okay, Brandy. The rotted grandpa is here. I shaved my chest hair and waxed my balls for this, so here we go.

Can I take my headphones off? No, you must listen to it, but don't make eye contact. You know the rules. Shout out to Andrea H. from Pennsylvania. Is it Andrea or Andrea? That's the most annoying name ever because you can never remember if it's one or the other.

Let's just go ahead and say for the rest of time, it's Andrea. Andrea is dead. Also shout out to Pia R. from Texas. Oh, Pia. What an interesting name. Shout out to Babs B. from New York City. I hope that's Peter's mom, Barbara, but I don't remember Peter's last name because I'm old. So maybe not. Shout out to Shannon M from California. Shout out to Danielle S from Texas. We have a lot of Texas fans, which is interesting because you guys all hated Whataburger. Shout out to Jaden M. from Nevada. Also shout out to Mackenzie G. from Tennessee. Mackenzie G. has the big letter as the K, which is interesting because usually the big letter is the C. I wonder if Mackenzie is a big C. Oh, gosh.

Shout out to Hannah L. from Washington. Love the Pacific Northwest. Once in the Pacific Northwest, I met a woman named Sharon. And Sharon and I made love on the rocky beaches of the Pacific Northwest. And I never saw her again because she was rather ugly. Shout out to Samantha Bee from Tennessee. All of that rhymed, which is nice and neat. Which makes sense because everyone in Tennessee rhymes everything because they're all songwriters.

Shout out to Melissa M from California. Shout out to Claire R from Minnesota. I hope that's not the Claire from the season of The Bachelorette, because we made fun of her a lot. It probably would anger her to listen to this podcast. Shout out to Cara, or Cara P., similar to the Andrea Andrea problem. She's from New Hampshire. New Hampshire?

Interesting. Do you go to Lake Winnipesaukee? That's where my favorite movie was filmed called What About Bob? Starring Bill Murray. And shout out to Samantha M. from Illinois. Once again, I don't believe there are any boys in the erotic grandpa club. Which is fine because boys are stupid. And I love the women.

But boys are so stupid. Okay. I think that's it, Brandi. Oh, thank God. Thank God it's all over now. She's a horse girl. Goodbye, everybody. Crazy about horses.

Love horses. Goodbye. We love you so much. And horses, too. about horses love horses and horses too I'm a bad boy if I don't have any horses I'm a bad boy breaking her horse she's a horse

horse girl horse. She's a horse. Horse girl. So good. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.