Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Live, Laugh, Love, Wells
Episode Date: November 16, 2022This week Wells is running the show solo, and he’s really struggling, because his lips are chapped. However, his spirits remain high because it’s mid-November and he just played golf in shorts. * ...We’d now like to put a parental advisory in place as Wells spends a good chunk of time discussing how he bought drugs in high school, how he was caught, and the torture he endured as punishment. * He has a few questions about sneezing when you sleep, then talks fave things, including his Disney movie marathon with Sarah where he fell back in love with Aladdin and decided Sebastian’s a b*tch. He chats about TikTok and whether or not dragons are real, plus discusses the National Park Service asking people to stop licking a toxic desert toad, and what that says about where we’re at as a society. He’s also done some investigating in to where witches come from that he’d like to share, and thanks to a YFTer calling in, gives his opinions on The Challenge. Enjoy! Don’t forget to rate, review, and follow Your Favorite Podcast! Plus, keep up with us between episodes on our Instagram page, @yftpodcast and be sure to leave us a voicemail with your fave things at 858-630-1856! Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers: Faherty — Go to fahertybrand.com/yourfavoritething and use code yourfavoritething at checkout for 20% off your order BetterHelp — Go to BetterHelp.com/favoritething today to get 10% off your first monthÂ
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That's ShipStation.com. Code your favorite thing. Do it. All right, we going? How's everybody doing out there? It's your old pal Wells.
Time for another episode of YFT. I got to be honest with you. This is not going to be easy
for me to say, but it's, I feel like it needs to be said. Just, I've always been transparent with
everyone and I just need everyone to know the truth. And sometimes, sometimes the truth is hard to say out loud. It's hard to admit to yourself
and to those you love, i.e. YFTers. But, you know, the mission statement of this show always was
full transparency. Always be honest. Facts, not feelings. Show, don't tell walk the talk and talk the talk and then walk and talk at the
same time don't be a little bitch and finally and most importantly live life love so with all that
being said um here's my announcement i have chapped lips all right guys they're chapped
so it's a chapter right now and i don't know how to unchap it because I put on the chapstick, and I'm still chapped.
And I know what it is. It's the weather. But I love this weather.
Yesterday, I went and played golf, okay? November 12th, I went and played golf, and it was like 68 degrees, which I think as we all know, um, is the perfect temp
for the thermostat. And I was doing that in November. That's why California is greatest.
That's the thing right there is this November 11th. I'm playing golf in shorts, having an
absolute blast while everyone in other places is freezing their nutsack off. Okay. Move here. Or don't. I
don't know. Listen, everyone's like, it's so expensive there. Oh, you know, In-N-Out Burger
really sucks. And oh, there's a lot of homeless people. Yeah. All that stuff exists. But you know
what else? Mid-November playing golf in shorts, having an amazing time. Now, here's the thing.
It is wintertime, and that means the air is dry, and thus I have a chap lip.
I don't love it.
And there's nothing I can really do about it because I put the chap stick on.
I put the Beats Birdswax.
The Beats Birdswax?
The Beats Birdswax. Yeah, that's, the bees, Birch Bees Wax.
Yeah, that's what I do.
I do it.
And I have Carmex, sure.
What's the other one?
Carmex is the one that like everyone dips their dirty finger in.
For some reason, we were all like, this is cool.
You know, I used to do that when I was in high school.
I'd hollow that thing out and then I'd put weed in it.
That just shows you how much weed I had I could afford in high school. We call them twamps. Did you guys have twamps? It was a 20 bag. So it was like,
you know, I guess it was a third of an eighth. A third of an eighth. Is that a thing? God,
it's terrible. This is, I'll tell you how I bought drugs in high school right here. My mom gave me $5 every day to get like cheesy fries
or something from the cafeteria.
But I also had a sack lunch
because so spoiled.
And I would take that $5 every day
and then I would add it up
after by Thursday
had $20
and then I could go buy
the twomp from my buddy out of the back of his Volvo.
Won't say names, but it was out of a Volvo. And yeah, I don't smoke weed anymore, but that's my
story about how I would buy that little, and we're getting ripped off by the way. Totally. I'd take
that little, little nugger, throw it in a Carmex. Cops are never going to find it. They did though.
Throw it in a Carmex.
Cops are never going to find it.
They did though actually.
I did get caught for weed when I was a minor.
At a fucking.
Oh my lips are so chapped.
At a fucking national park.
Andrew Malera State Beach.
At the gorge.
What's what we called it?
It was called the gorge.
Pfeiffer.
A freaking park ranger caught us like hot box in the car.
Came.
Searched our car.
Took all the freaking booze we had. Then he nailed for some weed and then i had to go i lost my license for six months and then i had to go to
court and i was like hey my bad i smoked weed i don't i shouldn't smoke weed uh totally take
responsibility so then they sent me to like uh like this class i had to take and it was obviously
a class for people who got like duis and so they showed a bunch of like gruesome photos of people that have been killed in car crashes and stuff.
People who like fell asleep on – got drunk and like fell asleep on the railroad tracks and on like their bodies.
And I was sitting there and I was in high school and I was like, this is fucked up imagery that you're showing me.
One, with my fragile brain.
And two, I'm not here because I drank and drived, drank and drove.
I'm here because I smoked a little ganja in high school in California.
Like, it would be weird if you didn't do that.
I'm like, why are you poisoning my mind with all these horrible visions?
And I remember at the end of the class, they had like a comment section.
And I wrote, I was like, you shouldn't be showing me this. I don't need it. Anyways, you might be
saying to yourself, Hey, Wells, when do you call up Brandi? And, um, I mean, I can still do the
thing if you want me to do the thing. My lips are so fucking chapped. Oh yes, they are. Um, Anyways, we're not going to call Brandy, though.
I don't know what she's doing. She's busy, and I'm going out of town later today, and she is,
I don't know, she's somewhere DJing or something or riding horses. Maybe she's DJing a horse show.
I don't even know what she does at this point, but anyways, she can't be bothered to do the show,
and you know what? I was going to get Sarah, but I believe that she's hunging a horse show. I don't even know what she does at this point. But anyway, she can't be bothered to do the show. And you know what?
I was going to get Sarah, but I believe that she is hung over in bed.
So I'm just going to do this one.
I'm just going to raw dog this one.
I'm going solo for you.
Have I gotten lazy on this show, you think?
Or I don't know.
I can do the show solo, though.
I've done it before, and I'll do it again.
And so you're just going to get like a kind of like extreme of consciousness from me,
just kind of like we're just going to pile on through and just see what happens.
And it might be a great show.
Might be terrible.
I don't know.
I mean, we started off strong with a chap lip bit.
I think that was great.
And we'll see where it goes from there.
So, yeah, I should probably shut the show, though.
Let's do it.
Bros and hoes, you're listening to your favorite thing podcast with Wells.
Ha ha.
Not Brandy.
She's gone. All right, quick PSA for those of you out there who rent. If you haven't heard of
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All right, guys, a lot has changed over the last years.
And if you're growing your e-commerce business, yeah, you can relate.
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or your business has outgrown your old shipping solutions, you need ShipStation to help you scale your business.
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are that you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce if you're shipping you gotta do it
with ship station lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time
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more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code your favorite thing. Do it. By the way, I listened to
the episode with Brandy and Tish and boy, oh boy. Love both of them together, but that was a bad
show and I apologize for it it was just
i mean maybe this will be bad too but like that just made no sense which was pretty great um
but i um i enjoyed it but i think that's why i never listened to sorry you're stone because it
was just like this is a stone person talking a lot and it's not really going anywhere but i love
them and um and i appreciate when they can cover for me even though your boy can do this show alone
normally this is when i would talk about bachelor in paradise but i gotta be honest with you they
didn't send me the episode early like they normally do so i haven't watched it also it's episode 13
which i'm not in so one episode i'm not in this season which sucks i'm paid episodically and i
want to be in every one you know but c'est la vie oh and by the way they did um i went and filmed
this after show i will vent more about this later, I went and filmed this after show. I will vent more about this later, but I went and filmed the after show, whatever it was
last week.
I had to go do a rehearsal with Jesse and production the day beforehand, which took
like five hours.
And then I had to film the entire day.
I'm not really complaining.
I'm just like telling you how it went down.
Like I got there at like 11.
We wrapped around like 1230 at past midnight but it was fun
and um we do some fun things and then also it's like really juicy and dramatic and stuff and then
um a producer called me the other day and he goes hey so I think we're cutting everything you did
I'm like what why why would you? Ah, we know you kind of do
all the funny stuff and we want this to be serious. What? What? Why the fuck did I go?
12 hours of filming and you cut your boy out? How could you do that? So I don't know if I'm
going to be in the, in the after show. What?. So when they did invite me, I was like, guys, why do you need me there?
I'm not hosting it.
Jesse's doing it.
What's the purpose here?
I think it'll be like an intro of me in the beginning, like, hi.
And then it'll be at the end, it'll be like, bye.
And then that'll be the entirety of what I did, even though your boy had to learn a bunch of lines and stuff and did a whole couple of different bits.
So anyways, that's show business.
That's Hollywood, kids.
Just so you know.
Sometimes you'll go to work and then you'll do a bunch of work and then they don't show it on TV.
And that's fine because you got chapped lips.
By the way, have you guys heard of Turo?
Turo?
It's not an ad.
It should be.
Maybe it will be.
I'm driving up the coast today with my brother and Dino actually. And this is my
brother's birthday gift. And I'm taking him to play a real fancy golf course up in Monterey
Peninsula. And so I got us a rental car and I thought, you know what, let's get a Tesla because
your boy's trying to save the world. You know, I don't want to put any more emissions out there,
even though I'm not even sure if it's that much better for the environment because of like lithium
ion. I'm not sure if that's good for you, but it doesn't really matter.
I was like, I want to run a Tesla.
So you can go on this app called Turo, and it's like just people renting their cars out to you.
It's like Airbnb, but for cars, which is a smart idea, but like also crazy guy.
Why would you ever let anybody ever drive your car anywhere?
You know, seems like a terrible idea.
I would never do that, but I will employ
this service because I think it's like self-driving. So I can, I can just like sit back and relax,
maybe edit this puppy while I drive up the coast. I'm going to report back to how Turo goes, but
kind of interesting. I guess I got to Uber over to this guy's house and then take his car from him
and then bring it back in a couple of days. It's crazy, man. I guess we're just taking,
we're just like cutting out the middleman, you know,
with like the Airbnbs and the Turo's of the world.
By the way, dude, like the Roan is back.
Bigger and badder than ever right now.
Everyone's got the Roan, I feel like.
I heard like the most recent Omicron strain
is like just doesn't give a fuck about the vaccine.
Just like sweet.
Glad I got that.
I mean, I am glad I got that, but like,
so now do I gotta get another one? Because here's the thing, man. Every time I got that. I mean, I am glad I got that, but like, so now do I got to get another one?
Because here's the thing, man.
Every time I get that shot, it will get sick.
And with the chapped lips, that's too much.
It's way too much.
They got another, you know, another vaccine.
I'll go do it.
Because you know what?
I'm trying to save the world.
I didn't watch Boundary in Paradise because, yeah, I didn't get sent the episode.
And I'm not in the episode.
I did not watch it because I'm not in the episode, but I know I'm not in this episode.
So like, I'm not sure if I would have so much insight into the episode because I wasn't
probably a part of it.
I think this is when Eliza goes to see Justin in Chicago.
And obviously I wasn't there, but really funny if I was, though, like the Danielle Michael
day where I was just following them around like, hey, in in the Windy City 2, what are you guys doing?
Oh, yeah.
It looks like it's going to be not a great experience for Liza.
So a lot of people are saying, you know, Rodney for Bachelor, which I'm here for.
You know, he's great.
I don't know how good Zach is going to be, but I definitely would have rathered Rodney.
Seems like a nice, I know Rodney's a nice guy.
I'm sure Zach's a nice guy too, but, you know, why wouldn't you go with the Rodmaster?
So yeah, anyways, I didn't watch it.
So next week, I guess we'll do like a whole freaking recap for everybody.
Okay.
You got some fave things, bro?
Dude, bro, do I ever.
First of all, I'm going to start with my buddy Matt Shively's show, Lopez versus Lopez.
I'm also actually friends with his daughter, Mayan, who's the star of the show.
And I've met and hung out with George Lopez a few times.
Anyways, they've got a new show.
It's on Peacock and then also on NBC.
Here's the tag.
A working class family comedy about dysfunction, reconnection, and all the pain and joy in between.
Lopez vs. Lopez on NBC.
So the premise is, is that Mayan Lopez makes a TikTok about how her father was a piece of shit,
which is a real thing that happened. Mayan made a TikTok in like the beginning of the pandemic,
you know, like my father cheated on my mom and all this kind of stuff. And then this TikTok
went viral. And I guess a producer saw it and was like,
we can make this into a show.
The show starts with her making that TikTok
and her dad, George Lopez, is there,
like is in her house, like helping remodel the kitchen.
And then it comes to find out that like George is
like down on his luck and like needs a place to stay.
So he moves in with his daughter
who's married to Matt Shively, my buddy.
And it's really funny because they have a kid. And my favorite so far, my favorite bit of the whole
thing is that George Lopez doesn't believe that Matt Shively is the real father of the kid because
the kid looks very Hispanic and Matt is very, very white. And it is so funny. And it's a true like
live in front of an audience multicam show, Big Bang Theory or Friends or Seinfeld.
It's so good.
And I mean, obviously we all love George Lopez's old show.
I mean, that thing went forever.
And so like, this is kind of like a reboot.
It's a little, it's a different storyline than the old one.
Cause I think he was like a factory worker in the old one.
Anyways, Lopez versus Lopez on NBC
and then also on Peacock.
Go watch it.
It's great.
And support my buddy Matt Shively's show because he's great.
He's very funny in that show, by the way.
Oh, my God.
My fucking lips are just flaking off.
You know?
So good.
Hey, quick question.
Could you sneeze when you're asleep?
Have you ever sneezed while you were sleeping?
I don't think you can,
which is a weird thing because I feel like a sneeze is like an automatic thing. Like you get some pepper up in your nose and like, and I imagine it happens when you're sleeping,
but I've never been woken up by a sneeze. I think that would be terrifying. You're in the middle of
a dream, just like living your life, having the best time in the world. And then all of a sudden
you sneeze and you get ripped out of that thing, like a shotgun blast to your dick.
So yeah, I think that there must be
some sort of like evolutionary tool
that says like, hey, if you're sleeping,
we can't sneeze because we don't want to rip you
out of this dream state and terrify you.
Can you imagine though,
if you were like having like a good fantasy wet dream
or something and all of a sudden you sneezed,
jizzed and sneezed at the same time?
I don't know what happens then.
They always say that if you sneeze with your eyes open,
they'll pop out.
What happens if you sneeze and jizz at the same time?
You shit yourself.
Does everything come out?
I don't know.
Still watching the peripheral.
Peripheral.
Peripheral.
Peripheral.
By the way, someone sent me a TikTok about how you're supposed to actually pronounce that.
And I was saying it wrong.
I was saying peripheral, but really it's pronounced peripheral.
Fuck, I don't know. You
know, you say a word so many times that just sounds start to sound wrong in your head. And
that's probably because of the weed, but that's just what happened to me with peripheral peripheral.
Fuck. I don't know. The peripheral is still great. Still watching that it's getting better.
Big fan of that show. So go just go watch that please. Thank you so much. Sarah and I started
watching a new show with Stanley Tucci who does, who doesn't love Stanley Tucci, right? He's the best.
The show's called Inside Man. It's on Netflix. Prisoner on death row in the US and a woman
trapped in a cellar under an English vicar cross paths in the most unexpected way. The Inside Man,
just just Inside Man. Stanley Tucci's in it and then also david
tennant is in it who he was kilgore in jessica jones um which by the way that's still one of
my favorite shows but he's also in like doctor who which i think that's what he's most famous
for is the doctor who stuff but he's great in it he plays a vicar which i didn't know that was a
thing but apparently in in england there's like a guy who is like kind of like runs the church, but like not a priest because he's married with kids with a kid.
I don't really understand British church.
But anyways, he's a vicar.
Stanley Tucci is on death row in the United States.
It's almost like he is Sherlock Holmes.
I guess he's a lawyer. And so people are coming to him for answers because I guess he can
like solve things really quickly and like give people the answers that they need and stuff.
And this reporter comes to the jail to interview him because he is known as the guy that everyone
comes to for problems. And while it's happening, the vicar, and so he's at church and like one of
his choir boys or something comes in to his office.
He's like, here, take this flash drive.
My mom's going to find it.
She's going to freak out.
And he's like, it's porn.
Just hide it for me.
And he's like, yeah, okay, whatever.
So he takes the flash drive, and then he leaves, goes and picks up his son's tutor.
His son's tutor is at the house, and she's like, hey, I need to get on the Wi-Fi.
And so the son, like, finds this flash drive and was like, here, this will connect you to the wifi and plugs in.
And all of a sudden she's looking at all the porn, but porn isn't just regular porn. The porn is,
is kiddie porn. And so she freaks out and she's like, Oh my God, your son is into
kiddie porn. He's like, no, no, no, no, it's not, no, it's not my son. It's mine or whatever.
And she's like, okay, that's not that that make things better somehow he like gets her down in the cellar and she's like trapped in the cellar the journalist is now being like hey
stanley tucci what happened to this this woman it's really fucking good and i did a terrible job
of explaining it but it's really good the only thing that's confusing is is that he's on death
row in the united states but the woman is definitely in England. The journalist met the
woman on the train to go to the jail. So it's like, is this in England or is this in the United
States? I'm so confused. Anyways, that's my one big qualm with it. Cause it's just like, I don't
know what country we're in right now, but anyways, it's a BBC show and it's on Netflix. You should
go watch it. It's pretty good. I liked it it so i got drunk day drunk yesterday because i was playing a golf tournament and then
when i got home i passed out and she decided to get drunk while i was asleep and so then when i
woke up she was just singing crazy musical numbers oh my what the fuck's happening if you watch my
instagram stories i documented the whole thing anyways we ended up watching a bunch of Disney cartoon movies, you know, and I
just got to say, dude, Aladdin fucking still slaps so hard. That is such a good fucking movie. I can't
even get over it. And then also Sarah was like, tell me about it. There's like a deleted scene
where you see Aladdin as a little boy and you see his mom get killed and that's how he becomes an
orphan. Why did they cut that out?
That makes his story so much more compelling.
But like the songs.
One Step.
Like that song is so great.
And then let's just appreciate some of the fucking bangers that's on Aladdin.
Real quick.
Also, R.I.P.
The two biggest stars in that movie are in Aladdin real quick. Also, R.I.P. The two biggest stars in that
movie are no longer with us.
Robin Williams and
Gilbert Gottfried are so freaking good.
First of all, this song slaps so hard.
I'm telling you, it's
a world-class magic.
Prince Ali, handsome as he,
Ali Ababwa. That's a zig-class menagerie. Prince Ali, handsome as he, Ali Ababwa.
That's a zig, how can I speak?
Wake up the name.
Well, get on out in that square.
I'm just a man of prepared.
Talk gawk and grovel and stare at Prince Ali.
He's got 95 white version monkeys.
He's got the monkeys.
He's got the monkeys. That's my favorite thing right there.
He's got like some amount of monkeys.
He's got the monkeys.
He's got the monkeys.
That's so...
Dude, okay, first of all, so that slaps so hard.
I mean, let's just not forget about like this absolute gem.
I come from a land, from a far away place place where the caravan camels roll
where it's flat and immense and the heat is intense it's my daddy but hey it's home
when the winds from the east and the sun's from the west And the sand in the glass is bright Come on down, stop on by
Hop a carpet and fly
To another Arabian night
Arabian nights
Like Arabian days
More often than not
A hotter than hot
In a lock of
okay I mean so that's Laps
and then I'm sorry but this song
will always and forever
just be one of the greatest
songs ever written by anybody
one jump ahead of the law man
that's all and that's no joke
these guys don't appreciate I'm broke
wrist wrap
straight breast scoundrel, take that.
Just a little snack, guys.
He just wants some bread, guys.
Open, take it back, guys.
I can take a hint, gotta face the facts.
You're my only friend, Abu.
Oh, it's that Aladdin to the bottom.
All the bitches wanted to fuck Aladdin, but he was like, nah, dude.
Yeah, I'm going to Pete Davidson this thing.
I'm going for the queen.
I'm going for the queen.
I don't know what that means.
A nom de plume?
Round the block. I think I'll take a stroll around the block. Anyways, it's just so good. And Robin Williams is so fucking funny. It's insane. Also, Apu is like the cutest little
thing in the world. And he's, I mean, maybe my favorite, my favorite monkey ever. He's got the
monkeys. He's got the monkeys. I also watched Little Mermaid a little bit. And also, like, Sebastian's a bitch.
He's a little bitch.
And I don't really like him as an adult.
I'm not a big Sebastian guy.
So that's my thought on Disney.
You guys still listening?
Okay, cool.
Great.
Wonderful.
Have you guys seen this guy on TikTok that, like, goes up to people in the middle of New York City and they're like, hey, what do you pay for rent?
And they're like, uh, like, three grand a month. And he's like, hey, can I get a tour? And then they were like, hey, what do you pay for rent? And they're like, uh, like three grand a month.
He's like, hey, can I get a tour?
And then they were like, sure.
And he goes, gets a house tour from them.
First of all, have you ever been to New York?
I'm sorry, if this wasn't all staged, Caleb Simpson,
you would be murdered.
New Yorkers would be like, get the fuck away from me.
What are you doing?
No, you're not coming to my house.
You can slit my throat. Don't fucking talk to me, get the fuck away from me. What are you doing? No, you're not coming to my house. You can slit my throat.
Don't fucking talk to me. I gotta make the train.
But they're always like, hey,
yeah, sure, come on
over. Just invite a stranger
into your flat
in Brooklyn.
What? No one would ever agree to this.
And then I look at this thing and he's like, the new
aged MTV Cribs. And I'm like,
oh, okay, so it's a bit. Gotcha. That makes sense. Then I'm like, good for you. I guess. I thing and he's like, the new age MTV Cribs. I'm like, oh, okay. So it's a bit like, gotcha.
That makes sense.
Then I'm like, good for you, I guess.
I bet you he's got a big flat because he probably makes a lot of money on TikTok.
Definitely figured out.
I don't understand how TikTok works.
When we make like really good videos, especially like funny bits from this show and I put them
up there, they don't do well.
But then if I put up a 30 second reaction video to the dumbest fucking thing in the world, a million views, it's almost like TikTok doesn't want you to be good at anything.
You know, they're like, we really the algorithm really is great for when it's shitty, like zero production value.
I put up the trailer for Best in Doe, which is like really professionally well done.
And also the same thing.
We did the whole Nicole Kidman
AMC theaters ripoff for Paradise we shot that shot for shot scene for scene I had director
Michael Shea in there who's an amazing fucking director we did this whole thing put it all
together no one no views but then it's like a video of me watching a water tank fall to the ground and making a fart noise.
Two million views.
What?
Is the algorithm showing like people are stupid and they like stupid shit?
That sucks to someone who I think wants to make better shit.
Also, I do a fucking Cooking Wales video where I do this stupid effeminate southern voice.
And I think that's culture and talent.
No, it's stupid.
Well, howdy there, friends.
Time for an episode of Cooking whales it's it's it's pretty funny i saw something on
uh tiktok speaking of people are talking about like whether or not dragons are real which all
right hear me out this is the pitch as to why dragons were real every culture has like a
depiction of dragons and having to fight them you know you have the knights in
england king arthur and stuff having to slay dragons and then you have the exact same thing
in like asian folklore same thing with like the mayans and the native america like every culture
has these winged lizards and you had to fight them right and it makes no sense that like how
would all of these different cultures
who never touched one another have the exact same kind of like thing going on? And obviously
dinosaurs are real, but like dinosaurs were knocked out before we came around, but who knows,
maybe some dinosaurs like stuck around or something. The theory is here and stick with me
because it is kind of stupid, but it might work. The theory is that just like birds of today,
the dragons would have to have hollow bones to be able to fly. And I don't know if you know that,
but like birds have like very hollow bones so that they're lighter so they can obviously fly
into the skies. And so the thought would be that the dragons would have to have the exact same
thing. And hollow bones don't fossilize very well in comparison to bones that are dense. And so
they wouldn't have been preserved because the bones are hollow. And that's why you don't find
any fossils of dragons. And that would be cool if there were dragons. You know, I don't know if
they're fire breathing, like a little lizard that just kind of like flies around. And here's the
thing. If it was real, could we recreate it? Or were they just like pterodactyls these are the things that go through
my mind at night because i am a fucking dork so that's fun people magazine put a thing out on
instagram that said it's just a picture of a fucking frog looking into a night camera like
like a black and white game tracker camera, and it says, National Park Service
asked people to stop licking toads
that cause hallucinations.
The National Park Service is asking people to
put their hands and tongues away
if they encounter any
sonoran desert toads.
In the past, people have risked potential
poisoning as they chase hallucinogenic hives from the frog's venom.
But whether it be a banana slug, unfamiliar mushroom,
or a large toad with glowing eyes in the dead of night,
please refrain from licking.
That is a quote from the National Park Service.
It seems like that would be an Onion article,
and I think it's not, and I think it's real,
and I think that that is amazing. And also maybe why everyone likes stupid videos on TikTok,
because they're all fucking licking toads and tripping balls. But the picture is just amazing.
Go put it up on our Instagram. It's just so fucking funny. It's just a toad with glowing eyes
looking into the camera. You know, when Donald Trump talks about making America great again,
I think that that's what he's talking about.
I think we've gotten to a point in our society
that is truly beautiful.
It's gotten so bad that they were like,
hey, listen, we got to put out a press release
telling people not to lick frogs anymore
because they're tripping their balls off.
They're not turning into princes.
But maybe, maybe that's how it happened.
Is it like these old fairy tales of people like kissing a frog and turning into prince?
Maybe what happened was they like licked a frog and they just started tripping out
and they thought that frog turned into a prince.
But really they were just like making out with a tree the entire time. I kind of liked that. Speaking of, I was reading up about how like witches came about.
I don't know if you guys have heard of this. So they think that the way that witches came about
was they were women who were making bread. And I guess if the grain that they're using for the bread gets frost on it or gets frozen or something,
then some sort of bacteria called ergot can get on the grain.
And if you ingest it, it's a hallucinogen similar to psilocybin or LSD.
And so it was all these women who were like bread makers would boil stuff in big vats,
you know, the cauldrons and stuff
making like beer or bread whatnot so there are these women who are like around cauldrons who
would accidentally get hallucinogens in their system and then just trip their fucking nuts off
and everyone's like that's a witch but really there's out here looking toads i don't know if
that's true but it's a pretty interesting theory so So if you think about it, a woman who's like making bread and making beer,
they're brewing stuff in a big bowl or big cauldron, right?
And then if they're using grains or barley or whatnot,
they're having to probably sweep up all the grains from the floor, broom.
The hat thing, I don't know, maybe it's to stop like from the flower getting in their eyes.
I'm not sure about that.
So yeah, it checks out, I guess. Also, have you ever tripped out and heard someone laugh? It's a cackle. When
you're tripping balls, you're cackling a lot, you know? That's a witch laugh, but maybe you're just
fucking seeing the face of God for the first time after licking the toad. I don't know,
but I like that thought. I like that theory. Kind of fun. All right, I got to go pick up my Tesla from some fucking guy in Burbank at some point,
so I'm going to have to go soon.
But before we do go, I thought that place some voicemails.
Where are we going here?
One, two, la-da-ba-da-da, lip-bop, do-da-ba-doo.
Hi, Wells and Brandy.
Yo, just Wells today.
First, I have a really funny story for Brandy specifically.
So I'm from Louisa, which is really close to Ashland, where your parents are from.
And actually, my first concert was a Billy Ray Cyrus concert at the Paramount.
And Ashland, I'm sure you know where that is.
I was maybe eight.
And the funny thing was, my little cousin, who was younger than me um went to that concert
with us and she got an apple which first of all i don't know why there's some apples at a concert
that's very weird but she bit into it and probably a whole lot to make a bull to smoke weed out of
i don't know lost her front tooth what at a billy ray's concert so that's the story that she had for the rest of her life she probably wasn't the only person missing teeth at a Billy Ray Cyrus concert.
So that's a story that she has for the rest of her life.
She probably wasn't the only person missing teeth at a Billy Ray Cyrus concert.
Oh!
You can say she lost her front tooth
at a Billy Ray Cyrus concert
biting into an apple.
He also signed my
Junie B. Jones book
because that was all I had
and he was signing autographs at the end
and I really wanted something signed so my Junie B. Jones book was the only thing that I had. And he was signing autographs at the end, and I really wanted something signed.
So my Jimmy B. Jones book was the only thing that I had.
One of my favorite things is right now the Great British Bake Off.
It is one of my favorite comfort shows ever.
And I can't bake.
I can't cook for the life of me.
But for some reason, I get sucked into this show,
and I hate waiting a week to watch the next episode.
So that is one of my favorite things right now.
Thank you guys.
Well, thank you.
By the way, if you love the great British Bake Off, you should watch a little show called
Best in Dough.
I heard it's great.
Speaking of Best in Dough, so Daniele, the guy that I did the show with, he, for our
wedding gift, it's a beautiful, super nice wedding gift.
He gave us a Gosney pizza oven.
And your boy made some pizza the other day.
It might be a chef.
It was so good and so easy, by the way.
When you rip that thing up to 900 degrees, your shit cooks in no time.
It's kind of fun, too.
I made a bunch of dough and I had some different ingredients.
And I was like, we'll make it.
The only problem is that, like, I made one and I was like we'll make it the only problem is
that like I made one and I was like full after that I want to make like six and like try different
ones you know so I'm gonna have a party you guys can come what else we got hey guys this is Natalie
I'm a long-time listener and big fan of the pod big fan of you um first off I just want to say
I am in Denver and I know how much Brandy loves Denver. If you guys ever need an excuse to come here, I would 100% buy tickets to the show.
So I highly, highly recommend doing that.
Anyways, my favorite thing this week is a show called The Midnight Club.
Sister Anne, I talked about this five episodes ago because my boy,an Gale wrote it. It follows the lives of eight
kids in hospice and
it goes into
the backstory of each and every one of them.
It's super good. It's not too
spooky, but it's still really interesting
and it's made by the same people that made
The Haunting of Hill House. Yeah, Ilan Gale.
Which I think you guys have talked about before.
We have. Yeah, highly recommend that one.
Nice. And then I also love the show Trying.
It's on Apple TV.
It has like a 93% on Rotten Tomatoes.
It's been out for a while, though.
There's like three seasons.
Come here with the stats.
My boyfriend and I don't even really want kids,
but it's about a couple that's trying to have kids,
and then they end up having to adopt.
I know Wells might be trying to have kids soon.
I think it'd be a really cute show. It really tugs at your heartstrings and it's like super
wholesome. So highly recommend that one as well. Anyways, thanks. Love you guys.
You know, I'll hold off on watching that one because I feel like if we watch it,
Sarah's ovaries are going to start to explode. Then we're going to fast forward the timeline
for kids. I don't know if I'm ready for that. I'm just selfish right now. And I don't know if I have enough money for a nanny full time.
You know,
I need to need,
need to sell some more ads on this podcast.
Uh,
what else we got?
Hi,
well,
hi,
Randy.
This is Elizabeth calling from Ohio.
Oh,
first time caller dropping in with a book rec.
Nice.
I'm sorry if you guys have talked about this one before.
I can't remember,
but I just finished the silent patient by Alex Michael.
Ladies.
It's one of those books that I feel like no one is on the fence about. You either love it or you hate it. And I'll be honest, it went through some ebbs and flows where I felt like
we were just chugging along, but oh my gosh, about 30 pages from the end, when I finally realized
what was going on, I legitimately gasped out loud. So good. And then I also want to know which team
is Wells' pick to win this season
of the challenge um obviously bananas and nanny and nani are amazing and i hope they make the
final but besides them who's your pick to go all the way i love devon and tori and i think
caracio and olivia could be really dangerous if they quit getting tossed into elimination
thanks guys love the show okay i mean obviously mean, obviously Bananas and Nani.
Am I saying her name right?
Every time I say it, I get fucking a million DMs being like,
Wells, you're saying it wrong.
Anyways, Bananas' team.
Bananas is just really good.
Also, everyone's scared of him.
It was insane to me that Jay and Michelle didn't send them in
because it's well known that Bananas doesn't like Jay
because Jay dated Morgan before him. The week before, I feel like they threw him in send them in because it's well known that like bananas doesn't like jay because jay dated morgan
before him the week before i feel like they threw him in anyways and then jay didn't do that was the
terrible gameplay i like jay too terrible gameplay from jay and michelle i thought that was so stupid
and bananas he will kind of say whatever needs to be said to get get going like bananas politics
game is so much better
than jay it just made no sense um who do i think is gonna win i do like devon and tori and i do
think that tori is a great female challenge contestant she's tough she's fun she's funny
devon always has been like his weakness is that he's just like not as athletic as everybody else
but looks like he's coming in with some actual like firepower this season like he's been working out and stuff and obviously his
social game is so good so i do like the devon and tori pick yeah i don't know if olivia and
harasio have are long for this world i don't i don't see it i also don't really know what's
going to happen because i think that they're going to get split up at some point the rider
dies are going to die and split up and people are going to have different partners.
So we'll see what happens. I just don't want Fessy to win. I think that he is terrible and annoying.
And, um, all right, we got one more. Hey, welcome Brandy. This is Christy from St. Petersburg,
Florida. I'm going to try and go through this quick because I feel like I have some things
I want to say, but I also have morning duty at my school
in about like five minutes.
Duty.
So first favorite thing right now,
DIY costumes that you buy stuff from Facebook Marketplace.
Oh my gosh.
I am turning my dog into Vecna
and I bought a $5 sweatshirt off of Facebook Marketplace.
I got backing rods for like 10 bucks
and then I sponge painted it.
It looked really cool.
Okay, Superbums bought that.
Second favorite thing,
my husband and I just went on our one year anniversary road trip.
We went back up to North Carolina in the mountains
where we got married.
And favorite thing is, I can't believe I'm saying this,
but those really cheesy religious billboards
because my husband and I turned them into songs.
Okay.
So if you're driving on I-95,
there are several yellow signs with red text that say,
forgive my sins,
Jesus,
and save my soul.
So this is how my husband and I sing it.
Great.
Forgive my sins,
Jesus,
and save my soul. I saw that billboard on a mountain road and then drove away.
That's funny.
So anyways,
two favorite things there.
Now, least favorite thing. Can't believe you guys haven't talked about this there is that movie that came
out with kaylee cuoco and pete davidson called meet cute it had so much potential it just
awful um i felt like the intro dragged on for so long and then the rest of it was like, oh, I guess intro's over.
Is this like the conflict?
Oh, is this the climax?
I guess that's resolution.
It was just like, bleh.
So much potential.
Did not hit it.
Need to know what your thoughts are.
And yeah, I think that's it.
Anyways, this podcast is the highlight of my Wednesdays.
Wednesdays are my busiest day.
I'm an art teacher in elementary school.
So Wednesdays are my busiest day. I'm an art teacher at an elementary school, so Wednesdays are crazy
for me. They are nonstop for like
you know, 11
hours. So anyways, this is the highlight
of my Wednesday and love listening
to it. Hope you guys have a fabulous
Halloween and yeah, thanks
for listening to me ramble. Alright, see ya.
Ding for art teachers.
Like I feel like that's
something that's going away from schools.
And fuck if we need them so badly.
Because not everyone is going to be a fucking accountant, you know?
We need people who are creative.
And it's, like, scary that art programs and music programs are going away from school.
I'm going to get on a fucking soapbox here.
But it's true. The reason why I'm able to do what I do today
is because there were opportunities in middle school
and high school to do like drama class and guitar class
and radio stuff, like all those weird things.
If you take all that away,
then everyone's going to be a boring ass motherfucker
making bad TikToks, which they're already doing anyway.
So anyways,
uh,
our teachers are that fucking awesome.
I loved art too.
I was a little pretty good artist.
I need to show you some of my stuff back in the day.
Actually,
one of my things in the middle of high school,
before I really kind of fell in love with radio,
my plan was to go to the art Institute in San Francisco.
And then I diverted from that and decided to do journalism because,
you know,
anyways, do we have
any musics that's the question I mean beside Aladdin oh I saw that Andrew Bird and Phoebe
Bridgers have a new song out and I like both of them I actually interviewed both of them back in
the day it's so funny then how I interviewed Phoebe Bridgers is amazing so I was the morning
show host on a station called lightning 100 and we weren't playing phoebe bridgers yet at all but she was on ryan adams's label which that didn't end well for
them i digress but ryan adams was playing a show at the ryman and it was sold out and i wanted to
go and i was friends with the manager of phoebe and of ryan adams and so i was like hey his name
was ray i was like, can I get some tickets
to go see Ryan Adams? And those sold out. And he goes, I can get you tickets, but you need to do
something for me. And I said, okay, what, what do you need? What do you need from me? And he goes,
I need you to put Phoebe Bridgers on your morning show. And I went to my program director at the
time and asked him if I could do that. And he said, no, because we weren't playing her, but I
want to get on the list to go see Ryan Adams. So I still had her on my show
and I got in trouble from my boss
because he said, no, I did it anyways.
But you know what?
Your boy wanted to see Ryan Adams.
And then I also interviewed Andrew Bird.
I was very nervous
because he's kind of known as like a tough interview
but the poor guy came in with the flu.
He was sick and he was so sweet to me and i felt so bad that
he had to come in and sing and play with his like throat hurting so anyways i got nothing but good
memories of both those people so um this is andrew bird and phoebe bridgers coming together
and that was a really long story for me just to play song
my mom was going numb
My mind was growing
And then I heard them lift a box
And creep across my soul
With the same boots to let again
And space, space began to talk
All right, I can dig.
The milk carton kids got some new stuff.
Let's check on that.
Let's see what's going on with that one.
Is it a beast of rage?
Either way, I'm never at my age.
I'm running free.
I'm running wild.
I'm running still.
Running child. I'm running still Running, child
Running down my burden
Running on sweet smile
I mostly feel like hell
That's the Milk Carton Kids.
The tune is called Running On Sweet Smile.
I love that band.
But they're kind of polarizing, I feel like.
My brother hates them because they are real kind of sleepy music.
But the lyricism, the guitar playing, it's just everything for me.
Sad Bastard at its core, you know?
All right.
I feel like we need to go out on this.
I feel like this makes the most sense to go out on.
YFTers, thanks for hanging with me solo today.
I had fun time doing the show by myself, if I'm being honest.
You know?
By the way, I've got a new podcast I'm going to be doing coming out very, very soon.
I'm not sure if I can announce it yet.
But your boy's going to be doing
a cooking podcast, and I'm
doing it with a pretty famous cook.
We've recorded
a couple episodes, and
I gotta say, I'm really excited.
If nothing else, I'm going to learn more
about cooking, which I think is going to be cool, so I think you guys are going to
be into that. Or if not,
whatever. You don't have to listen to it. I'd like you to, though.
Next week, Brandy will be back.
I promise. Sorry. Our schedules
are fucked.
Yeah. So sorry about that.
But I love you guys so much.
And
my lips are still chapped. So that's fun.
Nothing's changed. Actually, it's gotten
worse because I've been talking a lot.
So that's fun.
You guys be good. See you
next time. Oh, don know, so that's fun. All right. You guys be good. See you next time.
Oh, don't forget the hotline number, 858-630-1856.
858-630-1856.
Counting on you guys to call us up.
Give me the beat, boys, and free my soul.
I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away. through.
Bye.
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