Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - No one should be engaged at 23

Episode Date: January 31, 2024

In case you forgot, we’ve reached the age where everything we do hurts. Brandi says her brain has also gone to shit so this episode is promising y’all. Wells is still in Florida and while he absolutely hates the drivers and TBH most things about the state, he is a BIG Disney guy and recounts his latest adventures, detailing the best and most underrated rides. Big news for Brandi whose Wynn residency was just announced, so she’s been celebrating in the sun too. Your hosts have some bones to pick with hotels before chatting fave things, The Bachelor, the people who froze to death in Kansas City, and salad.  Thanks to our awesome sponsors for supporting this episode! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers:  ShipStation — Use promo code YOURFAVORITETHING today at shipstation.com to sign up for your FREE 30-day trial  SKIMS — SKIMS Bras are now available at SKIMS.com. Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75! If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you! After you place your order, select "podcast" in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. And if you are looking for a gift for your Valentine or for yourself - SKIMS just launched their best Valentine’s Shop ever - also available at SKIMS.com  BÉIS — Right now, BÉIS is offering our listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/YFT  VIIA — Try VIIA Hemp! https://bit.ly/viiayft and use code YFT!  Don’t forget to rate, review, and follow Your Favorite Podcast! Plus, keep up with us between episodes on our Instagram pages, @yftpodcast @wellsadams and @brandicyrus and be sure to leave us a voicemail with your fave things at 858-630-1856! 

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Do it. What's that? Hey. Hey, bro-wells. Listen. There's a lot of aesthetics going on. Band tea, which it's giving indie rock. Cardigan, which is giving

old man on the golf course. And backwards hat, which is giving frat douchebag. Mm, mm, mm. You were wrong about every single thing that you just said there. What are you going for? Okay, first of all, this is a car tee. It looks like a band tee.

Okay, but it's not. But it looks like one. This is a Pendleton that is... Oh, so it's giving Wyoming tourist. What the dude wears in the Big Lebowski. And this is a golf hat. So you were all over the place there. I bring Kirsten sitting across from me and she said, I'm the worst.

What is that noise? Is that my computer? It might be the AC in here. No, it's my computer being like, you have not enough battery. How come it can't charge and work at the same time like most computers? Okay, so just to keep like get, get the YFTers caught up, what happened was is that I brought my computer on the road with me. I'm in Fort Lauderdale.

I'm in my third hotel of this trip. So close. Hello. I know. You're in Miami, apparently. Yeah. So I didn't bring, like, the big brick, you know, that comes with a computer.

I just brought, like, a brick, you know, that comes with a computer. I just brought like a small one. Oh, I see. And when I woke up this morning at 7 o'clock and I opened my computer and it said 96%. But you know how sometimes when you open your computer, it like thinks it's still when the last time it opened and it shows you what the last thing was? Yes. So I was like, we're gravy. Yeah, I was like, we're gravy. shows you what the last thing was. Yes.

So I was like, we're gravy. Yeah, I was like, we're gravy. And then when I sat down at 8.55, because we were going to start recording at 9, I was at 9%. And then when I plugged it in, it said it was plugged in, but it said it was not charging. So now I've had to steal my wife's brick.

This is the first she's hearing of it, because she's in bed right now, because she got food poisoning last night from the hotel lobby oh no where are you guys staying somewhere janky spinach dip are you somewhere janky no it's a nice it's a relatively nice hotel and the restaurant was really nice too and we basically shared the exact same menu last night except she got spinach dip and i had a little bit of it but she was just raw dog and spinach dip i was like you need some sort of like spinach dip is bomb spinach dip is bomb i know yeah but unfortunately for my poor wife she'll never eat it again damn she just

said oh my god you made me throw up so we can't talk about so does she um okay i'm sorry does she stink up the bathroom with you there and not give a fuck? And do you also vice versa do this or no? We are a poopery family. I told Kirsten she needed some poopery in her life. Yeah. So her fiance, if he were here and we were in this situation, because we just take shits and don't give a fuck, you know what I mean?

Yeah. But I was like, if your fiance fiance was here what would you stink up the bathroom or like what would you do and she said he would go downstairs to take a shit in the lobby that they don't open the same bathroom so he would go to such lengths that he would go down would you do that or would you just stink up the bathroom i used to do that for sure used to do that okay so like a few years in a marriage that stops, is what you're saying. Yeah. I mean, listen, if it's going to be a grumper, like we know we're dealing with some nuclear waste. Nuclear waste. Yeah. Is it nuclear or nuclear? I don't know. Nuclear? Yeah, I don't know. Anyways, I will because I'm a gentleman and a scholar. A lot

of times I'll go to the gym or the spa area. That's a good idea. You should tell Ryan. Go to the gym, bathroom down there. Yeah. Genius. So yeah, now I feel bad. We got a rehearsal dinner tonight we're going to because we're in Fort Lauderdale for a wedding. Why can't I say Fort Lauderdale? I say like I'm a kid. Fort Lauderdale wedding. Oh yeah, today is Friday, I guess.

Yeah, so I got a rehearsal dinner I got to go to. So many weddings. I just can't even keep up. No. I don't know if you saw it on my Instagram, but I've reached the age where anything that I do could cause serious injury to my body. The other day, I sneezed.

I sneezed, and now look at my eyeball. You popped a blood vessel? All of a sudden it looks like I was in a fight with Conor McGregor and lost. From a sneeze? I think so. I thought, see, I started listening to your story and then I think I muted it or skipped it, you know. But I heard something about sneezing and then something else happens. And I thought you were saying you sneezed and then you farted at the same time yeah yeah yeah i got a lot of messages saying oh i thought

you were big misdirect thought you're gonna say you shit yourself same i mean i might have you know yeah i wonder if every time you sneeze you poop a little bit maybe you know just you know yeah no this was um this wasn't a brown eye this was a red eye that happened here does it hurt so i'm in this wedding and i'm over here looking like actually it's i mean maybe it's the computer i can't really tell unless you do that which don't do that at the wedding yeah well this happened a couple days ago so it's starting to kind of go away well and you know i'm one of those guys that goes and like holds his nose you know you shouldn't do that i don't think i think you should just let let it sneeze let it come out i know but i'm a big you know, I'm one of those guys that goes and like holds his nose, you know? You shouldn't do that, I don't think. I think you should just let it sneeze, let it come out.

I know. But I'm a big, you know, every man, they get to like a certain age and they just become the loudest sneezers ever. Yeah. Like your dad, I assume, is a very loud sneezer. Truly haven't heard him sneeze very often. Okay. My mother is like the quietest sneezer of all time.

Yeah. Well, for men, we just get louder and louder. Decibel levers get higher and higher, and I can't control it anymore. I'm a loud sneezer. Are you? Yeah. You let it go? Oh, yeah.

Good for you. Gotta let that shit out, you know? I get it. Because if you don't, it comes out the other end probably. I don't want that. Or my eyeball. Or your eyeball pops out of socket. I'm not trying to have that.

And you look like a freaking monster. Yeah, I don't want that. So I'm just Or your eyeball pops out of socket. I'm not trying to have that. And you look like a freaking monster. Yeah, I don't want that. So I'm just going to keep letting it come out. And I've also got this other thing going on where just one nostril is clogged all the time. So that nostril is just constantly getting nasal spray. That's called hotel air. You think so? Yeah, you've been in a few hotels, right?

This is my third. That's what happens when you stay in hotels all the time. Fucking hotel air, man. Speaking from existence. Yeah. Well, that's your life. Experience. My brain's not working. Is it not? Why not? Speaking from existence. I mean, that technically makes sense too. Kirsten's laughing at me. But here's the thing. Because I'm old. Well, it's because I'm getting old. My brain's gone to shit. My memory's gone to shit. My back's gone to shit. Did I even tell you I threw my back out and had to go to the chiropractor? And he said that my last vertebrae,

ow, see this hurts, is compacted. I don't know if he knows what he's talking about. He knows. He fixed me for like two days. And now I got to go back. This is what they do though. I told you the exercise you got to do for your back.

He took it. He took the x-ray. No, the exercises you got to do for your back. Oh, exercise. Is it lower back? Yeah, the very lowest. I the exercises you got to do for your back. Oh, exercise. Is it lower back? Yeah, the very lowest. I told you, you got to do the cow pose, and then you got to do cat pose, and then cow pose, and then cat pose, and then cow pose, and then cat pose, and then cow pose, and then cat pose. I don't have time.

You don't have to. Oh, do you have time to go to the chiropractor and then take x-rays? I did make time for that. Yes. Okay. So all I'm saying is every morning, this is what you got to do. And for all the YFTers out there that are getting the wrong side of 30 like us, every morning, you got to do cow pose, cat pose.

Every morning? And then into, I forget the name of it, but you kind of, you go back onto your heels, you know, and then you lay down flat. That's child's pose. Child's pose, yeah. And then you do the one where then you put your dick to the ground and then you lift up, you know?

And that's like, is that sinyasa? I don't know. I don't know either. Then you do that one and then, and only then, will your back be perfect. My mother has this pillow she sits on. Would you call it a pillow?

It's like a cushion that's anatomically shaped. Yeah. And I make fun of her so much. She literally has them all over her house. And now I need one. And I almost took it with me on the airplane. Is that the most embarrassing thing ever? Or like, fine.

That's embarrassing embarrassing it's pretty embarrassing right i was like am i gonna carry this on and the problem is when you sit on it you're like four or five inches higher up you know because the question is for hemorrhoids is a hemorrhoid is one of those little circle those little donuts it's not a donut it's like shaped like your ass kind of and my mom my mom got it because the cairo told her she needs it for her lower back. Does it work for her? Yeah. I think I might have to start flying with it, and then I'm going to be

sitting five inches above everybody else, and it's going to be really embarrassing. Yeah. Well, you know. It is what it is. Because the plane really hurts it. Yeah. All right, should we shut the show? Yeah. Is it me or you? I think it's you. Okay.

We let Sarah do it last time. I know. Bros and hoes, you're listening to Your Favorite Thing Podcast with... Bro Wells and Miami Brownie. All right, quick PSA for those of you out there who rent. If you haven't heard of Bilt, you're about to thank me. Earning points on rent is now a reality when you pay your rent through Built. You don't even have to check with your landlord to start earning points that you can use towards flights, hotel

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Again, joinbuilt.com slash YFT to start earning points on your rent payments today. All right, guys, a lot has changed over the last years. And if you're growing your e-commerce business, yeah, you can relate. Whether you're looking for better efficiency during the hectic holiday season or your business has outgrown your old shipping solutions, you need ShipStation to help you scale your business. ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiency with a robust all-in-one fulfillment system that integrates with over 180 of the most popular e-commerce platforms, marketplaces, and carriers. Listen, the holiday season is right around the

corner. Odds are that you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce. If you're shipping, you got to do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 89% off UPS, DHL, Express, and USPS rates. What, you don't want to save money? Come on. Deliver a better customer experience with industry-leading features that help you find the best carrier rates, print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers.

Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code YOURFAVORITETHING to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code YOURFAVORITETHING. Do it. Yes, YFTers, we are literally 45 minutes away from one another

not even really i'm in fort lauderdale i didn't realize fort lauderdale was basically just like a suburb of miami yeah like sometimes if the flight times aren't good into miami i'll fly into fort lauderdale and just uber here can i say one thing about the floridians. Love that. Just one? Shocked. The Florida drivers are fucking assholes. It's because there's no rules here. Yeah. I didn't see any cops, and maybe that's why. So this is what happened yesterday. So I was driving from Orlando to Fort Lauderdale, right, in my rental car.

Speed limit was 70 miles an hour. I'm going 80 miles an hour. I'm behind a Jeep, Okay. And there's a car next to me. Right. So I'm kind of like boxed in and this guy comes up behind me, starts flashing his lights. So I go like, what can I, where do you, where can I go? You, I know you can see the guy next to me. Okay. And I assume you think that there's somebody in front of me where do you want me to go so i do this you know and if you can't see me i'm doing like the what do you want me to do cool thing and then he drives past me and he fucking mean mugs me the entire way and i do the do what what was i supposed to do guy i couldn't go right because there was a car i couldn't slow

down because your fucking ass was right up my shit. And then there was a Jeep in front of me. So you telling me to go or do something, couldn't do it. So once you realize that I was not able to go anywhere, you should have not done the mean mug this fucking poor guy who's just trying to get by. Okay? What rental car did you have?

Well, I was told I was hitting a RAV4, which big Toyota guy over here, hence the cheap shirt. And I ended up getting a Chevy. It's like a small SUV. Okay. My only thing is this. As long as I have CarPlay, we are gravy, baby. True.

That's all I need. So anyways, I hate Floridians for a lot of reasons, but mainly for the driving of it all. Florida man, tax California man in the fast lane, even though he was going 10 miles over the speed limit and he could not go anywhere. Yeah, go take some bath salts. Go eat your fucking face off, Florida man. I hate you. Can't stand you. Jesus.

Not into this state, okay? Not into this state at all. The only thing I do like about this state is, give me a ding. You'll have one. I'll have a bell. Okay, ding, ding, ding, is Disney World. How was it? We had an amazing time at Disney World.

I feel like you go to Disney World a lot. I go every year. Every year? Well, for the past two years. That's a lot. Yeah. We went with, Sarah? Well, for the past two years. That's a lot. Yeah. We went with, Sarah was here obviously, and then Ben and Jess joined us this year, which was nice. Cute. And then my brother and his wife were there, and we had two days in the park. Is two days enough at Disney? Here's the thing. I think so. Sarah disagrees with me.

I feel like it's not, but- Here's the thing. Obviously, I work for Disney, not but you know here's the thing so obviously i work for disney abc so i can say hey can you guys get us a guide which is so lovely that they'll provide that for me are they doing it for you or are they doing it for sarah let's be honest they're really doing it for sarah but i'm the one who like put in the request and then we had like make a video for them and then uh but they really didn't give a shit about me i mean i was racked up but it was like let's just have sit let's let's have the professionals talk, kid. Right, right. I feel so terrible.

You know, when you get a guide, you get to cut the line. Yeah, you do. It's nice. And you go in and you see what the wait time is. Yeah. And it's like Guardians of the Galaxy is like a two-hour wait. Mm-hmm. There's like a world where it's like you go to Disneyland.

If you don't have like a fast pass or something, you go to like three rides. Yeah. With kids who have no attention span whatsoever. I'm sure they're just losing their minds. Yep. And then you get up there and there are these kids who've been waiting for, you know, so long. And then they're like, excuse me, sorry, you need to wait. These fucking assholes who are adults, who have no business jumping on Slinky Dog.

Nope. Need to go first. Mm-hmm. And you're like, ah! And then you'll see the Make-A-Wish kids, and you're like, ah! No, no, no, no, no, no. Let them go, let them go. Ah, I feel like a terrible person,

but I don't want to wait in line. A couple things about Disney World that I just put down. just put down okay ben plays in this golf tournament we go to disney world so i end up being like do you want to come to disney road with us and like you have to take pictures with us too but like you know i can tag you along and he's like hell yeah man so we get to disneyland right disney world excuse me We get to Disney World and we go on the first ride, which is like a chill ride, right? Like no big rollercoaster-y things, right? The second ride, it's like the three dwarves one, you know? And so that's a little bit of, that's one of those tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, whatever. Ben's in front of us and he won't put his hands up.

He's so tall. Because he thinks that his hands are going to hit. I mean, come on. You're tall, but not that tall, right? I worry about that at Space Mountain. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He did not like it. Have you ever ridden Space Mountain with the lights on?

No, but I've heard it's just terrifying. Terrifying. And it's also very slow, apparently. Yeah, it is. But it's also terrifying. Yeah. It's only 26 miles an hour just crazy yeah and he's wearing a hoodie and all of a sudden it's you know it's kind of a scary

fast ride he puts his hoodie on and he bends down and afterwards we're like ben are you are you scared of roller coasters and he goes yeah i don't i don't like the really fast ones. And I said, Ben, why did you agree to come to Disney World to ride roller coasters if you don't really like roller coasters? He goes, well, you know, last time I was here was years ago when I was a kid. And I think he thought that we were going to go on the Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, like the slow ones, you know? Pirates of the Caribbean. That one's fine. There's just like one drop and that's it and we're like

Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben where are you going Space Mountain not his cup of tea Tower of Terror what about Tower of Terror Tower of Terror he kind of liked

but I will say this he loved and we all loved Guardians of the Galaxy ding ding ding the best ride I've ever been on in my entire life

haven't done it come out here just for that just for that it is the best ride ever and ever been on in my entire life. Haven't done it. Come out here just for that. Just for that. It is the best ride ever. And you know why it is? One, it's like one of the best, like smoothest rides ever. But there's a music component.

There's like five different songs you can get. Is it a roller coaster? Yes. Cool. And it's similar to Space Mountain where it's inside but it's like screens everywhere so you it seems like you're outside that's sick you gotta go back in time and there's this music element to it and so every time there's a different song it kind of changes the ride a little bit it's so amazing cool the other thing we finally rode tron we didn't ride it last year because

it wasn't done that roller coaster coaster is badass. It is fast and you're like on a motorcycle so you're kind of sitting in a different weird way. That's cool. The Ben Hayden. Boys, that is fast and fun and I like it but I do like Guardians of the Galaxy more.

And then my last thing that it was kind of like a rolling bit that I was doing the entire time but you know when you go to Toy Story Land into and so you walk in and you become one of the toys. Right. So all the things around you get really big as if you are one of the toys. You know, you're seeing it through Woody's eyes, I suppose. Yeah. In the bathrooms made with like blocks and like Lincoln logs and it looks like a toy, you know, like that kind of stuff. I was like, you know, they should have like an adult

side of this land, of Toy Story land, where like Andy has gotten a bit older and the toys are a bit different. Like one of the toys is like a giant

vibrator and you walk inside and it's a strip club. Not what I was picturing. No? Call it the starch sock? Huh? I don't know. I mean, obviously no, it's Disneyland, but you have like a giant bra hanging, you know? You go wash your hands at like a giant thing of like KY jelly.

Oh my God. Like Astro Glide. No. You know? No, I don't know. There's a fountain of just jizz. Don't want to know. Yeah.

Anyways, that's what my mind does because I have a problem. Yeah. There's something wrong in this old noodle there. I would say so. But Disney World was fantastic, and I highly recommend and thank you to Disney World. Here's the thing. Fucking Everest, so underrated. Like one of the best rides in the park is Everest.

Okay. I don't think I've ridden that. Here's my underrated list for you guys. Okay. Everest is great. There's a Yeti. That's very scary. He like rips up the track, and then you have to like go backwards.

You catch a lot of Gs in Everest. Did that used to be Matterhorn? Maybe. I mean, it's Matterhorn. I don't think there's Everest in LA, but there's Matterhorn in LA. But Matterhorn's different. Matterhorn's like you're – isn't that like you're going to water? Yeah, I think so.

No, this one's just like you're into that. Okay. Slept on rides like you're into that. Hmm. Okay. Slept on rides that are just absolutely phenomenal. Mm-hmm. Everest. Slinky Dog. Slinky Dog's fun. Okay.

Okay? Mm-hmm. Not worth it. Test track. What's that? You're like in a car and it's like, it's kind of jostling you around. Oh, Jesus Christ. And then you go really fast, but you're like 65 miles an hour and that's really it not worth it oh we did the new avatar i think we did it last

year too we did do last year but that is so cool that sounds cool very very cool and um we drank around the world which was great but can i say this about disney world can around the world have drinks that aren't like 99 sugar can we do that yeah you know can we just have like whatever the shot is of that world let me just have that yeah you know yeah what about do they have i know like soren is like the over california i know that's a disneyland do they have something like that at Disney World? They have Soarin'. They do. I love that.

Yeah, last year it was Soarin' Around the World. This year it's California, which I'd never done because in Disneyland it's Soarin' Around the World now too. Oh. Did you like it?

I love it. Soarin' is my favorite. It's so good. I know. It's the best. The smell, the oranges. The puff little smells. It's you.

It's so nice. By the way, I was a case study for consumerism in that park. I could smell the popcorn. And I kept on being like, the popcorn thing is way over there. There's no way I can smell this thing right now. But I'd be like, man, that popcorn smells so good. And people around me are like, yeah, I could smell it too.

And I'm like, how is it getting over to my nose? And people around me are like, yeah, I could smell it too. And I'm like, how is it getting over to my nose? You know? Like that cartoon pie where like the smell goes and like all of a sudden the wolf smells it from like a mile away. And it's like, oh, I gotta go. And I'm pretty sure that they're puffing out fucking popcorn smells when they hear the word popcorn from people around the park. Every time I was like, do you guys smell that?

Interesting. Yeah. Anyways, we went and got it. I went and got the popcorn. Brought it back. Jess got it. Brought it back. It didn't smell like the smell that I was smelling.

You know? They probably have little diffusers that are puffing out popcorn smells. Yeah. I believe that. A hundred percent. The other thing that I do not like about Disney World that they're doing, and this is just constructive criticism, but when I got to the Yacht Club, which is where we were staying, they have the check-in tables, right? There's the woman behind the desk, and there's a computer or whatever, and you go put your

arms up, and you're like, okay, I'm checking in now. Now, there's no one behind those desks. They still have those desks. There's no one behind those desks. There's just a woman. There's just people that come out with an iPad in front of the desks there's no one behind those desks there's just a woman there's just people that come out with an ipad in front of the desks huh so then you like come meet up with somebody and you're like and they're like it's almost like you know sometimes when someone's like taking your information about like a survey or something yeah and you're like i don't feel i

don't feel comfortable and so i was like why are you guys doing this like oh we want to be more personal experience of like checking in stuff i'm like i'd like this i'm like why not and i was like i want to put my bag down put my arms up on the thing you know you type away this seems very uh weird to me i hate it i need to be a bad there would be a barrier yeah okay you know you're in charge i'm asking for something this is like too much of like a give and take and i hate it so much. But I get it. You know, they're trying out new things. Gotta try some new things.

Anyway, so that's all I have on Disney World. What have you got? That was a lot. That was a lot. Yeah. That was 28 minutes on Disney World. Don't worry. I'll cut it down to like 20.

What have I been doing? Yeah. Well, I have just been in Tennessee in the trash weather, just dreaming of the sunshine, you know? Just like craving the feeling of my skin burning. Like I need it. You know what I mean? I'm so pale. I haven't seen the sun in eons.

Like I'm desperate to feel my skin burn so called keys on Tuesday and I was like what you got going on this week you know and she's like oh some appointments but you know and I was like should we go to Miami and she was like what's the weather like and I already had screenshots you know I'm like 80 and sunny baby you were ready i was ready and so i was like should we go to miami and she was like yeah i need to know by today end of day today but like yes and i was like all right so i went to work by the end of the day ding ding ding had a hotel yeah so we booked flights we get out of flight the next day here we are in miami the sun's coming out as i speak and we're just celebrating you know i don't know if you saw, but my DJ residency was

announced. I saw that. Congratulations. It'll be a few days ago when this podcast comes out. Thank you very much. And I knew that was coming, but I haven't been able to talk about it until they made the announcement, really. I've talked about it here and there, but I couldn't really make a big deal about it. So knowing the residency was getting announced, that was something to celebrate. He's actually got a new job, which is something to celebrate. And, you know, we're just celebrating life, really. Like, life's so good. So we came to Miami, and we laid out yesterday. It was pretty cloudy until about 1 o'clock.

So we were, like, we're sitting down there, and we're like, do we put on sunscreen? You know? Like, we looked at the UV rating, and it said, like, 2. And it's cloudy, and we're not feeling burnt. We're not feeling any burning skin so we just laid down there with with like not no sunscreen basically i put a little sunscreen on my chest because just you know don't want to get turkey neck turkey chest situation yeah other than that like raw dog in it no sunscreen good for you then you know like one the sun comes

out we're like oh the sun yes and then we i put on like a little sunscreen like an hour later, but nothing crazy because I want color. You know, I came down here for my skin to burn. And we're looking around the beach, you know, and everyone's sunburns. Fuck. You know, those guys that are like they have like the backwards hat, the sunglasses with the thing around the neck, all the tats, you know, just bros. And they're all sunburns. Fuck. And I'm like, how are these guys getting so much sun? Like it's cloudy. Like I want that want that i want to be that i want to be a lobster oh baby oh baby did i become a lobster yesterday you don't look sunburned not my face because i had a hat on but my chest i like okay and like i put sunscreen on my chest and like you can like see see how red i am here oh yeah i like missed so many spots like so if anyone's anyone's wondering, the sun is working in Miami.

It is on. Even though it is not on. That's not good for you. Aerosols aren't good for you, first of all. Well, let me tell you what else isn't good for you. Skin cancer. No, I know. But like, I didn't put any sunscreen on my arms.

Like a freaking idiot. Okay. But I was using, you know, like an organic reef safe sunscreen on my chest. That was your first mistake. Big mistake to just, what was I thinking going like this? Like a freaking idiot. Yeah, come on. Like, ugh.

So I'm basically a lobster from like here down. I love that for you. And you better believe I'm going back for more. Just going to flip it over and- At 1030? Fry the other side at 11 o'clock. Yeah, by the way, so the wife hears. Because my battery was not charged. I have to check out of the room.

No, you don't. Yes, I do. 1030 checkout. Request a late checkout. I did. They're fully booked tonight. I have a bone to pick, by the way, with hotels about this exact thing. I've got a billion.

Let's hear it. Okay. Hey, hotels, what's going on? Why is it that if I'm paying to stay there for a day, my check-in time is three o'clock and my checkout time is 11 o'clock. Why are you stealing four hours of my stay here, guy? Okay. Unacceptable. If I check in, let's say I check in at 5 p.m., I get to check out at 5 p.m. the next day. Them's the rules, kid. You don't get to just all of a sudden say, hey, listen, I'll give a fuck when you get

it. No, I'm paying for an entire day, okay? And here's the other thing. If you get a red eye, you get in on a red eye, you have to book the night beforehand or else you got to go put your bags in somewhere and then wait until God knows three o'clock. It's not good. Go fuck yourself. Yeah. Right? I agree.

Why are we standing for this, America? Great question. Democrat, Republican, liberal, conservative, libertarian. I think we all can agree that we're getting fucked by the man here and we shouldn't be and you know what i'm not exactly sure what's happening with this presidential race but i tell you what whoever decides to run on let's fuck over the hotels so we get at least the day yeah that's who's getting my vote i agree that and daylight savings gotta go and guess what i think the guy that owns hotels isn't going to be the one who does that.

So. Oh. I gotta go for Biden, I guess. So true. So true. It is fucked. But yeah, I have to check out of here and then store my fucking bags because our flight's not until 7 and we wanted to lay out all day, you know?

So. Ridiculous. Crazy. And the fact that they have the audacity to charge you, like most hotels will be like, yeah, we'll give you like an extra hour for free and then we're going to charge you $50 for every hour later or whatever it is, you know? Will they charge you for the late checkout? Past a certain point, hotels do.

So like a lot of times, like they'll give you till 11 or 12 and then anything after that they charge you for. Because I've had times where like they're because of flights, like I've been like, well, can I check out at like three? And're like yeah for 300 bucks and I'm like but it costs 300 for the whole night why would I why would I pay 300 to stay three more hours ridiculous fucked okay so there's some things in the news I think we gotta talk about oh I'm I don't know anything about the news do indulge me okay Have you heard about Scott Peterson? No. Okay.

So Scott Peterson was the guy who, it looked like he killed his wife and dumped her body in the ocean and weighed her down with a cement block that he made in his backyard or something like that. And he was cheating on his wife. I think Gone Girl was kind of based around it. And this guy, he was put away in jail forever. Do you know about the Innocence Project? No.

Okay. guy is he was put away in jail forever do you know about the innocence project no okay so the innocence project is this like band of lawyers who go and look at cases that they think they might have gotten wrong oh okay yeah so like there's been a bunch of convicted yeah like that like that that podcast serial that guy the innocence project went and helped him and try to get him off so the instance project is now teaming back up with Scott Peterson, or teaming up with Scott Peterson, which a lot of people were like, that guy fucking killed his wife. Come on. He was cheating on her.

You know, he had a boat. They found her in the ocean. All this, like, all this stuff. There's new DNA evidence, okay? So I guess Lacey Peterson witnessed a robbery across the street. Okay. This is what TikTok has explained to me. All right.

And I guess the robbers realized that she saw. So the new theory is that they took her and they killed her. And there was this van where they were robbing. They were putting all this stuff that they were robbing from the thing next door. And there was a mattress. They found the van. there's a mattress. They found the van. There's a mattress. And if that mattress has her blood on it, then- He's innocent?

He could be innocent. Whoa. I know. Wow. Crazy. Damn. I was like, that guy fucking killed that girl. Come on, let's be realistic.

What are we doing here? And now I'm like, owl theory. It's the owl. He didn't push her down the stairs. It was the owl. Call back to the staircase. The fucking owl. I love the owl theory

because when anyone ever wanted to talk to you with a staircase and then you brought up the owl theory, they were like, what the fuck are you talking about, man? Owl theory. Go look it up. It's more for the bit than really anything else.

I just like the ability to tell the story, not that I thought it was true or not, but I do believe owl theory go look it up it's more for the bit than really anything else i just like the ability to tell the story not that i thought it was true or not but i do believe owl theory yeah um i don't think that that guy killed her really i don't think that that guy killed her interesting the yf2 years are confused what we're talking about this was something that happened maybe 100 episodes ago we were talking about a documentary called the staircase you haven't seen it ding ding ding i do think he killed her. You do? I do think so. He's too nice of a guy just because he was a little, you know, like the locals and stuff.

He's got a lot of secrets. I don't trust his ass. Men are garbage. I don't trust it. Yeah. Speaking of not trusting some ass, give me all the dings. I have no bell. Give me all the dings, YFTers. Have you started watching The Curious Case of Natalia Grace?

No. What is it? You are in for such a treat. Really? Oh my god. Okay. Is it the most insane thing? And also, it takes you on a journey of emotional rollercoastering that I have never experienced in mine or any other generation.

Okay. Do you remember the movie Orphan? Yes. Okay, so like a little girl gets adopted by this family. She's like really old, but she's got some like disease that makes her look really young or whatever. This is what's happening in the curious case of Natalia Grace. It's this little girl from Ukraine. She's six years old and she's got some sort of dwarfism.

She's a little person, okay? And so this family who's got like three boys, they adopt her. After the first week, they're giving her a bath and she has like full bush right and the mom's like what's going on dude she's got she's got bush you know and so they like look it up and you know like the earliest someone can some can get the pubes are like eight you know and so they're like i don't think that i think that she's like much older than we think she is i don't think she's six years old. And the kid's like, well, no, I'm six years old or whatever. But like talks really well for a six year old, you know, like full senses and

stuff. So then she's from Ukraine. So they bring, you know, someone from like the church that they're hanging out at is Ukrainian. They come over, the lady starts talking to her, knows zero Ukrainian, by the way, none none some weird stuff starts happening they keep on waking up in the middle of the night and she's like standing over them with a knife i don't want to watch this and they're like what are you doing and she's like i hear voices you hear voices and then they like go to like this they go like milk cows and like they find out there's an electric fence and like the mother's like she's trying to pull me into the electric fence she's trying to murder me

they send her to to uh like a psyche val ward or whatever like the sane asylum and all the people there like this person's a sociopath like this person is a liar making up stuff oh my god this this little girl's like a murderer and then all all of a sudden, somehow the show twisted around. You're like, the parents are liars. Like, I think none of this is true. I think this poor little, you know, disabled little person is being totally taken advantage of. And you're like, man, that sucks so much. And then the next episode, you're like, no, that little girl is a fucking demon spawn.

I don't believe her and then the next episode you're like oh my god they had the parents like go and get her birth date changed from six to 22 years old and they're like we don't want to be around this girl so they get her a apartment you get her one apartment that's like up 16 stairs she's a little person she has a hard time getting upstairs leave her there like bring her food and like you're like, well, if she is 14, that's fucked up. You're just leaving this person that she doesn't know what she's doing. No job. Then you're like, the fucking parents

are terrible. And then she starts fucking with the neighbors. And the neighbors are like, this fucking bitch, I don't know about this one. Then you're like, she's crazy. It is... I don't know how I feel about it. I don't know what's going on. I just know that you need to go watch The Curious Case on Natalia Grace. Okay.

Where is this, Netflix? HBO. Oh, okay. There's also a second season where it's like Natalia speaks. Because in the main one, it's just- So you've seen both seasons? No, I'm only in the first one. And also, you got this dad is the most dramatic, so full of shit.

Their son is this really, really genius mathematician who's got autism. And you feel bad for him. And he obviously does not want to be doing this interview and feels bad about it. Dad and this son telling the story. You're like, this guy's so full of shit man like i don't believe it it got to the point last night and i'm still not 100 sure okay but it got to the point last night where i was like sarah i'm almost positive this is satire that this is not real like this is the blair witch where like you think it's real but like none of this like it cannot be real the lawyer that they have talking

i'm like this seems so scripted like this cannot be real but then you like look it up news articles about it and like the local news talks about it and shit and you're like i guess but then i guess you could like make that up for the thing yeah please everyone i implore you go watch the curious Go watch The Curious Case, Natalia Grace. I'm freaked. As you should be. As you should be. Okay. Seriously, though, for your flight home or whatever, start watching it. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Are we going to talk Batch at all? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can talk some Batch. I watched the first episode. Yeah, same. My thing about The Batch, and I like Joey. I met him recently. Everything he said the first night was, I that man i love that like on tv you mean yeah yeah yeah every everything any girl said was like i love that and i want to be like the drinking game is drink every time this

motherfucker says i love that okay because you're gonna hate that tomorrow morning when you're throwing up yeah i feel like everyone's got got a thing they say a lot, though. Yeah. I like the girl that kissed him first and then went and fucking told everybody immediately, God bless you, lady. You're so dumb. So dumb. I love that for us.

Do you? Here's the thing. You want to hear one of my hot takes this year? Yeah, I do. I think they finally let him start drinking like they used to let him drink. also here's the thing you want to hear one of my one of my hot takes this year yeah i do i think they finally let him start drinking like they used to let him drink you think yeah yeah no one jumped in the pool which was would always be like the telltale sign but like i think people were getting a little turnt that night interesting okay everyone is just so young no we're just getting older. 23, 24.

Nobody should be getting engaged at 23. Come on. Oh, there's a girl whose name is Star. That's sick. I love that. Do you? Yeah, I do. She's also a mental health counselor.

Because of your horse? Yeah. Okay. But she spells it with two R's, which is so cute, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, standouts for me. I really like Rachel. Okay. She's from Hawaii. I really like Rachel. Okay. She's from Hawaii.

Love that for them. I really liked Daisy. Okay. She's from Minnesota. I love that. I really liked Kelsey. A lot of brunettes. Also, I don't think she's gonna,

she's definitely not winning it, but Maria, I think, is gonna be like a fun, like a good character. You know what I mean? For the season. Yeah. What do you think about the sisters?

They annoy me. I'm already ready for them to go. Yeah. I don't know about that bit. This whole sister thing, twins, we've seen it. We've done it.

Like it's, it's not it. Okay. Um, I like Allison. She seems a little unhinged. Is that one of the sisters? I think so.

Yes. Okay. That's not who I mean then. Uh, it was the girl that was like, I'm not gonna kiss him. Oh, Maria. She was like, I'm not gonna kiss him. Oh, I like Maria. I know. She's funny. And then is it Leah

who threw the card in the fire? I think it's Leah, but yes. Whatever. Yes, she did. What are your thoughts on that? Like the whole like card they gave her. I don't think she should have thrown it in the fire. I don't either.

Like I was really trying to think of like if it were me, what would I have done? Like listen, she was smart the way she played it, I think, because it does just automatically make you seem like such a good person that you wouldn't steal that from someone else you know what i mean like good play and i think i would have like definitely done like said that like i just like don't know like do that to somebody else like play that card but i do think i would keep it because like you don't want to get halfway in and then wish you had it and have thrown it in the fire like you got to keep that shit just because it's just nice to have a backup plan you know what i'm saying and also does her throwing it in the fire mean it's

gone because no it's not like a golden ticket like yes it is yes it is okay well who works on this show not you you. You work on Paradise. I know, but I'm just telling you, like, you're telling me that, like, if they have an opportunity to use this, they're not going to? She can't. She burned it. Okay. Let me tell you something. If there ends up being, like, a feud between her and another girl, let me tell you what I would do as a producer.

another girl let me let me tell you what i would do as a producer i would make sure that the other girl gets a date and then be like dude go use the steel card right now what do you do but she would get so much shit for having burnt she would never recover for having burnt it and then using it i don't know bane you would never recover who? All's fair in love and war, Brandy. No. Would you? Yeah. She shouldn't have gotten rid of it, I'll say that. I do agree.

I think she was playing it just fine. She was like, I feel so bad, I don't want this. Yeah. And then be like. Don't know how I feel about it. Yeah. Like, seems crazy. Like, I don't know if I could do that to somebody.

But keep it in your back pocket, you know? Well, I'll tell you this. What if another one shows up and they use it on her? Possibilities are endless. Because all those other bitches were like apps yeah to me totally yeah especially if it's like like a helicopter like a cool date you know yeah you're like i want to go dress shopping in fucking new york you know so i wonder wonder, like, are there any rules? Like, do you have to, like, use it before they say what the date is? Like, do you really get to know the date until, like, the moments that you're going...

Like, sometimes you don't even really know the date before you get there. The only thing you know is, like, what it says on the card. Yeah. But you can kind of suss out what it's going to be, you know? I mean, you can and can't. That would be tough to know, like,

what date you're getting into or not, but... Yeah. For the most part, it's like, let's soar away and find it out together. You're going to be flying. Yeah. True. Yeah, it's too early. And I will say this. I don't think I'm getting screeners for this. I can request, I suppose but we'll try to talk be more because we're gonna be like another week behind i know yes but sorry i think you should try to get the screeners i'll try to get the screeners episode one is always boring like i never i'm only half paying attention to episode one every every season totally in the bachelor world did you see that suzy and justin glaze finally i got the inside scoop on that because suzy went with me to sundance really and just finally admitted what are you all we all knew

for years yeah that they have been together and they're so cute it's like the worst kept secret in the world i know i know but but i was kind of fooled i mean i don't i haven't known her long i just met her recently she's lovely by the way i I mean, I always, I always liked her on the show, but so lovely. And she and I went to Sundance together. She's a videographer. So I took her with me to help me with my content. And so we were just like sitting at dinner one night and just getting to know each other and chit-chatting. And like, I genuinely, we were talking about dating and just like the struggles of it and blah, blah, blah. And I genuinely was like, oh yeah, like bummer you and Justin don't have the chemistry. He's so cute.

And you guys seem like such good friends. And she was like, well, actually, I was like, oh, shit. I was like, you totally had me fooled. I guess because, like, I have a couple, like, I guess one or two, like, great guy friends that, like, I could kind of I do have sort of the same dynamic with. And so I totally understand, like, having a really great guy friend and it's just friend vibes and that's just it. So I just like was hook, line and sinker. Like she fooled me.

And then she told me she was like, actually, no, we've been seeing each other and we are going to announce it like very soon. So I did know. And I'm here for I think they're fucking adorable. Did they announce it because like they're starting a podcast together? Is that what happened? I don't know. I think it was getting really hard to keep the secret is what it sounds like

yeah you know it was i think it was one of those things like it's only a matter of time before people find out it's like why not be the ones to announce it like why let somebody else have that that's how i would feel i feel like everyone already had found it out yeah a year ago i mean they definitely were speculating they're making tiktok videos like every week no i know but like the worst thing would be like for a fan to take a photo of them kissing and then release it like if you're gonna if like if there's gonna be a first photo or video of you kissing like you want to be the ones to put that out you want to like you know yeah have control of that that's how i would that's how i would feel so yeah did you hear about the three guys who froze to death in Kansas City?

No. Okay. So all these guys, I think they rented a house in Kansas City to watch the Kansas City Chiefs game. Okay. And then three of them went out, left, and one guy was like, I'm going to go to bed. And then I guess he sleeps with earplugs on or something and an eye mask. And then the next day, maybe two days later, no one could be found and they were all outside frozen to death is it that cold in kansas city i

guess it is like one degrees but like also break a window what are you doing so everyone's like so i guess it's not murder and like no foul play but like these are like three adults who can walk to the next house and be like, hey, our friend is asleep and we can't get in. Can we get warm? You know? Or like call 911. I don't know. Or like call your wife and be like, hey, I'm sick. Whatever.

So they froze to death. The guy's like I just was a heavy sleeper and I was wearing a mask and da da da da I don't buy it I think one either he killed everybody

and they took him outside you know okay I think what's more realistic is I think they all did some drugs and OD'd and then he was like

what do I do and then pulled them outside and then was like what do you got where is everybody you're like hmm anyway it's crazy sketch sketch dude so we're gonna find out probably when this comes out like the toxicology will be out and we'll know exactly what really happened but um oh and then i guess there was like a fifth guy who like left at midnight but he's not not really a part of this whole thing but like well sounds shady it does sound shady does it does my last thing okay i love a salad okay i love a good salad i try to be a healthy boy a shitty there's nothing worse than a shitty salad yeah you know here's something that i want to i want to start number one i want to start a to-go salad packet that doesn't taste like hot garbage you know yeah like a good one i'll pay an extra couple dollars for like

something that actually tastes like seizure dressing and not whatever the fuck this is. Because this is not that. Right. You know? Yeah. This isn't ranch. This is some bullshit. Yep. My other thing is this.

I appreciate what you're trying to do with like giving me the maximum amount of lettuce possible. Mm-hmm. But I can't get a good toss if that thing's way too full. True. You know? Yeah. So here's my suggestion okay let's not put so much lettuce in there give me a little bit of space in there so i can really shake it up and get it all up in there you know yeah because what happens is that the top layer gets it's just soaked

in fucking balsamic or soaked in ranch and then you get down to the lower part and you're like, there's nothing on this. I'm just over here being a rabbit. And I'm not a rabbit. I'm a real boy. So that's the daily thought of Wells. Wow. That was riveting.

Yeah. It's good. Good stuff. Do you have anything else? I do have some music. Okay. A guy I met in at sundance we were just talking about music and stuff we liked and whatnot and we were talking about like tyler childers and a couple other people and he was like do you like colton moore yeah you know that is no i know colter wall that's who i thought of and i took me a minute i was like

i was thinking he was saying Colter Wall. And then I was like, Colton Moore? No, I don't think I know who that is. And he was like, oh my God, you have to listen to Colton Moore. So he saved an EP to my phone and I listened to it. Don't know how I haven't known about this guy. He's absolutely amazing. So he's got a little EP. I'm sure he has more music than just this. But the one I listened to, it's called Lone Wolf. It came out in 2016. So I've really been sleeping on this guy for a hot minute, but it's very good.

If you like, what do you call it, outlaw country or whatever? Yeah. Then I think you'll really like this. You can play any, maybe play Lone Wolf. I don't know. Whatever song you want to play. It's good. All right, let's go out on it.

Love that. So you're just going back to Nashville tomorrow? Well, I'm back tonight, actually. Yeah? I'm going back tonight. I am playing at the one... It's funny, I'm staying at the one hotel in South Beach now, but Saturday night to tomorrow night,

I'm DJing at the one hotel in Nashville for their one-year anniversary. Oh, nice. And then next week, I'm getting on a plane for L.A. Oh, I'll see you at L.A. I'll see you soon. So nice. Yeah.

It's like that Pedro Pascal bit of like, oh my God. Oh my God. I love him so much. Oh my God. I really feel like The Last of Us got seriously snubbed with all the awards this year, by the way. Yeah. Right?

Well, and everyone's upset because the only guy in the feminist movie is the one who's... It's so fucking ridiculous. Don't even get me started. Nominated for an Academy Award. It's so fucked up. I mean, it's ironic. I'm like, did you guys do this on purpose? Yeah.

The Academy should be like, we can't do this. This is going to be a contender fire. You know? How good is this guy? So good. Great voice. Alright, YF Tears, we love you.

Love y'all. I can't wait to not be in a hotel room next time I talk to you did you say bet? I said I bet I thought you were trying to be a Gen Zer I hate when people say bet same

alright YFTers I can't wait to be back in my studio I hate the fact that I don't have control over so many things right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right. We'll see you later. Bye. Bye-bye. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.