Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Olivia Caridi
Episode Date: November 1, 2017This week Wells and Brandi invite Bachelor alum, Olivia Caridi on the show to talk about the girl fight she got into at Brandi's Halloween party. Wells talk about his love for Netflix programming and... buys Olivia a sex toy. Brandi makes fun of Wells...again.
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code your favorite thing do it but i don't like like I would rather be in a studio if I can. Well, ob.
Ob.
Except when I'm at your house and I'm recording
in my bed. That was really nice.
It's hot. It was pretty
sexy. It got good. I didn't
let Wells in the bed. I made him record
on the couch.
I think that's good though. We need to have
boundaries set. For sure. Okay, let's get this out.
Boundaries.
You want wanna start?
Yeah You're listening to
Your Favorite Thing Podcast with
Wells and Brandy
Hold on though
You said something cool last episode
That we need to do again
You said something
I said
Borderline creepy
I said boys and girls
Everybody
And you were like
I don't like that
And then you were like
I was like
Oh oh
Bros and hoes
Yeah that's it
Bros and hoes You're, that's it. Bros and hoes.
You're listening to.
My new favorite intro.
All right, let me start over.
Yeah, do it again.
Bros and hoes, you're listening to your favorite thing podcast with.
Wells and Brandy.
That was good.
And special guest Olivia.
Hello.
Caridi.
Hey. In case he doesn't know. That's how you say your last name?
That's how you say it
Karidi
No one knows how to say my last name
Olivia
Let's be fair though
When you're on The Bachelor
Last names do not matter
No one has a last name
But I feel like you're kind of special
If you get like a last initial
I wanted a C
Yeah but was there another Olivia on your season?
No I was actually the first Olivia ever
Really?
Yeah and then Olivia Burnett From Nashville? No, I was actually the first Olivia ever. Really? Yeah, and then Olivia Burnett from Nashville.
No?
I don't know her.
She was on Nick's season for one night.
Oh, I don't remember her.
I don't know.
But Olivia, can I just tell you that no one else has been here from start to finish of an episode.
I know.
I don't know if I like it.
I get to come the whole time.
Yeah, I don't know if I like it.
You can kick me out at any time.
You're special.
It's fine.
Normally, we talk for like 30 minutes, and it's like the big tease that people have to
like-
Stay for-
Yeah, like wade through the BS and the minutiae that we do.
Do you want me to leave for a little bit?
No, you can stay.
What if you sat there in silence for 20 minutes?
That would be really hard for me to do.
I know it would.
But I'll try.
You guys go.
You guys go.
Tish started from the beginning, because she was on the phone with me.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
In the car.
But she tried to be quiet in the beginning.
And then she just couldn't stop chirping.
And I loved it.
I will sit here silently.
You guys continue.
No, absolutely not.
Olivia, have you met her mom?
No.
Yes.
Yeah.
In New York, outside of that tall building.
Oh, yeah.
That one tall building in New York.
Olivia and I shared a taxi from the airport because we're cheap and because it was way
more fun.
Yeah.
And then she dropped me at SNL and then went her own way.
And then I went into SNL, dropped my suitcase, and left with my mom to go shopping or something.
And Olivia was standing by.
You wouldn't know that I lived in New York for two years because I walked the wrong direction
down an entire avenue.
With a suitcase.
With a suitcase.
And then I realized, oh my gosh, I have to walk all
the way the other direction, but
then I would also pass you guys.
I saw you guys out there and I was like, do I say
something or do I just walk past and
act like... Had you met her
before this? No, but she actually recently liked
one of my tweets. She did? She did. That's great.
I took a screenshot of it.
Of Tish?
Yeah, that's good. I can't remember what it was about.
Let's just talk about, real quick, by the way.
Like, you and I are really good friends.
We do this show.
Yeah.
We're friends.
Yeah, we're friends.
We're acquaintances.
Yeah, we are, yeah.
Can you get your dad to follow me back on Instagram already?
I don't think he runs his Instagram.
All right.
I don't think he knows how to do it.
Can we get your dad to cut his hair?
Yeah, get in line on that train.
That's one thing we could do probably before
No. No, that's
still the king though, right? That's part of the show.
Well, that's his excuse.
My mom begs him to
shave his head. Can't do it.
I gotta be...
You don't even know your dad's character's
name. Billy. Is it Billy?
I'm still the king. Billy the king.
I gotta be Vernon.
Vernon's got long hair.
My dad, though, has a Blackberry still to this day.
Like, the same Blackberry he's had for like a decade.
With the little rollerball?
Yes.
He refuses to change.
The little clitori?
Do you remember that thing?
I'm gonna not tell my dad that.
I actually don't.
At all.
Are we talking?
Never mind.
Sorry.
I'm so sorry. Anyway, hence, he has no Instagram. Bl we talking? Never mind. Sorry. I'm so sorry.
Anyway, hence, he has no Instagram.
Blah, blah.
Someone runs it.
I'll do my best.
All right.
I don't care really either way.
You do, but it's okay.
I totally care.
He totally cares.
I'm like, I'll go check it every couple of days and be like, I wonder if Billy Ray's
following me.
He's not.
I hope he follows me before he follows me.
Then I'll unfollow him.
Then I'll follow him back.
That will happen.
100%.
Probably already follows you.
He probably does.
I have to look right now.
Do you have a blue checkmark?
Yeah.
You do.
Of course he does.
Okay, I'll just check in.
Do you?
Duh.
Yeah, she's got one.
Yeah.
We're so cool, guys.
It was easy to get on Twitter, but the other parts, yeah, it was pretty brutal.
Mine just magically appeared.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
iHeart had to do mine.
iHeart had to be like, uh.
Shout out to iHeart.
Yeah, let's give this guy some legitimacy.
Well, I applied for one on Facebook.
You can apply?
Well, you know, like whatever.
Like, so please let me have one.
Then I woke up the next morning and I had one on Facebook.
And I was like, oh, cool, whatever.
That doesn't really, like, affect my life, but whatever.
And then my best friend Lexi texted me, you have a blue checkmark on Instagram.
It disappeared.
Yeah, I don't know how it happened.
Really?
Magic.
It just happened.
There's a lot of people that pay for that.
No.
I almost did.
I almost did.
I was that.
How much?
Like $500.
No.
Yeah.
And people hit me up from the show being like, hey, can you get me a check mark?
And I'm like, no, I don't know how to do that.
You're like, for 500 bucks, I'll get you a check mark.
I can't tell you how many people I met that were like, I can do that.
Hey, iHeart, gonna need this.
You could probably make some good money doing that, actually.
You should make that a side job.
I know.
Why not?
I know, hit up Tom Pullman or Bob Pittman and be like, hey, want to split the profits here?
They would probably be like, yes, I'm down.
Duh.
Done.
Into it.
Love it.
Let's do your favorite things because that's the name of the show.
Yeah.
So I told her we're really bad at that, but that she should be slightly prepared.
Thank you for the bell.
I mean, you know I'm going to say the Halloween party that I hosted that was lit AF.
Okay.
So Brandy threw a Halloween party this past weekend.
I did.
It was my favorite party I've had at my house so far.
There were so many freaking people there.
It was so great.
Was that the best one you've had so far?
Oh, hands down.
Oh, I'm so excited.
The best house party, yeah.
Great.
I'm so glad.
Can I tell my favorite part of that night?
Please, yes.
Okay, so I walk in, and right when you walk into Brandy's house,
there is a stairwell that goes up to your bedroom.
There is.
And there are a bunch of people sitting on the stairwell.
Everyone's already in costume,
and I'm already kind of like that guy with face blindness,
where I'm like, oh, hey, I don't know who the fuck they are.
Whatever.
So I walk in,
and there are these two people in costume
dressed like butch trucker dudes.
Mullets and fake cigarettes.
Slim Jims.
Slim Jims, yeah.
I found a few of those in the cleanup.
They looked like guys that would have Confederate tattoos.
You know, like those freaking guys.
My mom thought they were Duck Dynasty.
She thought that's what they're called.
Exactly. Like young Duck Dynasty. Yeah, exactly.
Like young Duck Dynasty.
Young Duck Dynasty.
So I walk in and they're like, they're in characters.
Like, hey, Wells, what's up, yo?
What's up, bro?
They like knew you.
Yeah, and I was like, oh, hey.
Oh, my God.
And I was like, oh, my God, I'm a hit out.
And so I walk away.
Finally, someone comes up to me and goes, oh, my god, is this weird that you're here and she's
here too? And I was like, who are you talking about?
And they're like, your TV
girlfriend, ex-girlfriend's
here. I was like, Ashley
Iaconetti's here?
And they're like, no, JoJo's
here. I was like, shut the front door.
Where is JoJo?
Come to find out, it was JoJo and
Becca sitting on the stairwell.
JoJo and Becca absolutely win best dress.
They won Halloween for sure.
I mean, you looked, everyone looked.
I mean, you.
Don't even get me started.
It was the most amazing turnout of costumes.
It was great, right?
Like, no one.
Well, I put costumes required on the invite because I wanted people to dress up.
Smart.
Because it's so much more fun.
But, like, not only did people dress up, they, like, they went for it.
I know.
So, Becca, they showed up pretty early.
And so, this whole party got popping, like, way earlier than I expected.
I was popped by 10 people.
Yeah.
And Becca showed up and her crew, and she walked into my kitchen, and hardly anybody
was there.
And I'm standing in there with, like, two other girls, and she walks in.
I don't recognize her at all.
And she's like, which one of y'all is single?
Yeah. And I literally didn't know who she was so I was like,
uh, these two.
And then she started talking
a little more and I was like, Becca!
She looked so good.
Unrecognizable. I gotta say though,
I got mad props for
Becca and JoJo, like two of the
prettiest people you'll ever see.
That whole group though. She was with a group of like six girls because it was her birthday weekend.
She brought them all from LA.
And I know a bunch of them.
And they're stunning.
And for all of them to be able to pull that off.
Well, they went from being the hottest chicks that I know to just the ugliest things ever.
But here's what's amazing.
Did you see that Becca drew on her leg hair?
Yes.
It was my favorite part of her outfit.
I know.
That was great.
She drew on her leg hair.
Yeah.
And they all had bought those tennis shoes that really elderly people wear that lift
them off 10 feet.
But not the new cool New Balance.
No.
It was like Walmart.
Walmart.
Walmart New Balance.
Someone who was wearing Crocs.
Oh, yeah.
I saw the Crocs. It was insane. They, New Bounce. Someone who was wearing Crocs. Oh, yeah. I saw the Crocs.
It was insane.
They really went for it.
And they, I don't know if you saw, I watched her story the next day, and they all dressed
up again to go to Cracker Barrel.
Yeah.
Yes.
Really, really impressed with the commitment level.
They went to Cracker Barrel?
Yes.
I'm just happy they went to Cracker Barrel.
I mean, Cracker Barrel is great.
I haven't been since I moved here.
It's Noah's favorite thing ever, as we know.
Cracker Barrel.
Yeah. The chicken dumplings, right? here. It's Noah's favorite thing ever, as we know. Cracker Barrel. Yeah, the chicken dumplings, right?
Yeah.
That's Noah's jam.
That's Noah's favorite dish at Cracker Barrel.
My favorite is the chicken fried chicken.
It's a real good one.
Chicken fried steak.
Chicken fried chicken with the gravy.
Hey, man, you know what would make this better?
If we fried it again.
I might just fry it.
It's already fried, but I'm going to fry it again.
Fry it one more time. Put some gravy on it and then
put some taters on it. Oh my god.
You know what my favorite thing about that place is? What?
Thank you. The intelligence test. You know that
little thing. Yes, I can't win that thing.
Can you? Yes, I know how to do it.
It's like the only time I ever look smart. And I can also drop a lot of money
there in that little gift shop. Oh yeah.
I bought all the stuffed animals.
It's all about like if you go like around
Christmas time because you're just like,
these would be great stuffing stockers.
Stocking stuffers.
Stuffing stockers.
Oh my gosh.
Wait, okay.
I don't have a fireplace in my house.
I don't know where to hang stockings.
Oh yeah.
What do I do?
Oh God, that's embarrassing.
I mean, it's just me.
I don't know why I really care.
It's like my one stocking.
I know.
I'm just going to have my one.
Stocking for one, please.
I'm going to have my stocking stocker.
I'm going to stock my own stuffing.
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Code your favorite thing. Do it. Oh, that sounded sexual. Do you have a blackboard wall?
No. I have a cork wall. You can put it in the cork wall.
Cork wall.
There you go.
It's in the office.
I'm just going to hang stockings in the office.
I would.
No.
I don't like it.
What about this?
Your TV?
Yeah.
Because you can do the Yule log candle.
Oh, and I can hang it from there?
You can hang it from right below there.
That's not a terrible idea, Wells.
I'm not mad at that.
All right.
Yeah.
I'm open to that idea.
Same. Yeah, Wells. I'm not mad at that. All right. I'm open to that idea. Same.
Yeah, cool.
I feel like you guys are surprised that I came up with a good idea.
Yeah, I am, actually.
You're just like, holy shit.
I'm like, oh, wow.
Wells didn't say something stupid.
Yeah.
What?
I'm into it.
I need to get the Yule Log thing on my TV.
Yeah, it's good.
It's really romantic.
Oh, yeah, it's on Netflix and YouTube.
The best one was, you know Nick Offerman from Parks and Rec?
You do.
He is...
I mean, maybe.
Maybe.
I'm bad at names.
Okay, so anyways, Nick Offerman's hilarious.
He's like the kind of...
Did you watch Parks and Rec?
I have it on in the background.
So, oh my God, who am I talking to?
So he's like...
I turn it on for my dog.
Same!
That's literally what I turn on for Feather.
It's like my go-to.
Oh my God, it's like one of the best shows ever.
So I've heard.
I just, I don't like stuff that makes me laugh.
I love the guy that's also on...
You don't like stuff that makes you laugh?
I'm more of like a crier.
Oh my God.
I'm more of like an action.
I'm more of like a this is us kind of girl.
Like superhero.
Oh my God.
Something.
Parenthood.
Saying bye-bye self.
This is Nick Offerman. Oh,. Oh my God. Parenthood. Saying bye bye self. This is Nick Offerman.
Oh, I do know him.
I know him.
He's actually married
to the woman
on Will and Grace
that's got the really high voice.
You know that chick?
Never seen it.
You've never seen Will and Grace?
I'm too young for that.
What is happening?
I'm too much of a millennial.
Oh my God.
I only watch Riverdale.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I watched this one
show in Riverdale one time.
It was really good.
Stranger Things.
Anyways, hold on.
Just really put a bow on this Nick Offerman thing.
He's got a Yule log where he just says,
buy a fire, drink scotch, and that's it.
I don't drink scotch.
I'm a millennial.
All right, I'm out.
Rose only.
I'm more of like a Giza Tito's.
Preferably white girl Rose.
Tito's water.
I hate this show now.
I feel like I've Completely lost track
This is my favorite episode
We've ever had so far
What is my favorite
Favorite episode
This is my least favorite
Episode
Favorite episode ever
I'm actually sweating
Are you
That's a sign of a good episode
I know
Is when I start sweating
Yeah I mean
Oh god
Sweat is a good sign
Of a lot of things
I have Botox in my armpits
So if I sweat
No
Do you really?
Yeah, that's like, whoa.
What is that doing?
I don't sweat.
Is it so you want no wrinkles on your pants?
No, I don't sweat.
No, it's for no sweat.
Literally, I could run a mile, and I'd be like...
Is that healthy?
Yeah, but then where does the water go?
Where does sweat go?
It comes out other places.
Oh.
My chest.
See, no.
My chest.
I sweat a lot on my chest.
Chest sweat?
Like under boob sweat?
I sweat in my ears, behind my ears a lot.
Really?
Yeah, it's like because I cut off these sweat glands, now it goes to like my chest a lot.
See, I don't know if I want to jump on board with that.
Then don't.
Then don't do it.
I tell you, okay, so like I don't want like grundle sweat, you know?
I do sweat in the grundle.
Yeah, that's a bad. So can I get some Botox to shove up my taint and stop that. I do sweat in the grundle. Yeah, that's a bad.
So can I get some Botox to shove up my taint and stop that?
You could probably unsweat the grundle.
Yeah.
Ball sweat is pretty gross.
Their feet?
They unsweat their hands.
Like you get Botox in your hands.
Your scalp.
Your scalp.
My head sweats a lot.
Wow.
It's amazing.
Learning so much about Botox.
It's really great.
What else do you want to know?
Yeah.
Botox is It's really great. What else do you want to know? Yeah. Botox is my favorite.
We got to really dive into this party of yours.
Okay.
First of all, first of all, who was your favorite costume?
This is tough for me.
My friend Karun was Jake from State Farm.
Great.
That was pretty good.
I thought that was really great.
It got a lot of-
Great.
Great.
It got a lot of love.
Did you get some Botox in the throat?
A lot of love on my Insta.
Yeah, he did.
As far as the best photograph from the party goes,
I set up a photo booth and had a little party hashtag,
hashtag bloodbash17 if you guys want to check it out.
I thought there was a tie of best photo between Olivia, who was Khaleesi,
and Danielle, who was Dolores.
Oh, okay.
Both of their photos were phenomenal.
I don't know if I saw it.
I also didn't use your hashtag when I posted it.
Jerk.
Actually, no, I didn't post that picture.
I didn't use it at first.
She found me.
She was like, use the hashtag.
Use the hashtag.
Okay, sorry.
Yeah, here's my thing.
I walked into your party early because I knew I was going to come early.
But I asked you to come early, yeah.
Well, yeah, but I knew that I was going to dedicate myself to getting the photo.
The photo.
The photo, like, before it all happened.
Yeah, that was smart.
Because when I get drunk, my eyes get really messed up.
Same, same.
I knew, like, once I start drinking, I'd have a gut.
One of my eyes is half closed in all of the photos.
Yeah, I do, like, a weird, like, I look really aggressive.
And so I just wanted to get it done right away.
And I like to post it and do it.
You killed it.
And it was over. Oh, you posted that night? Yeah. Oh, man. She posted it, like, in the beginning of to post it and do it. And it was over.
Oh, you posted that night?
Yeah.
She posted it in the beginning of the evening.
Yeah, it was a good one.
But here's the problem, is I kept taking photos later in the night thinking I'd post them
tomorrow.
Oh, yeah.
And when I looked at them the next day, I'm a mess.
I'm a hot mess.
So there were some amazing costumes.
There were.
My other favorite, there was a group of, well, two dudes and a chick who were Migos.
Did you ever see them?
No.
Oh, great. None of them have any
tattoos. They bought these stick-on
sleeve tattoos and neck tattoos
from Amazon and they killed it.
Do you remember when we interviewed Migos
and we were terrified of them?
Well, they didn't respond.
They came with a puppy and they
were so stoned and we were just like, well,
let's hope this works out. I'm not kidding. We would ask them
questions and there was silence. I have been there so many times and were just like, well, let's hope this works out. I'm not kidding. We would ask them questions, and there was silence.
I have been there so many times where I'm like, well, OK.
We just talked to Migos about the puppy.
That's what we did.
That's all we could say.
Well, you have, and you go for it.
Because we had to just keep talking.
Yep, I've had a couple of those where you're like, so, how's the weather?
It was a good interview.
It was OK.
Whatever.
OK, so Danielle's Westworld.
She was great.
Great.
Yeah, it was fantastic.
And your Khaleesi.
It was.
It was a really last minute thing, so I was so excited.
Two Beyonces.
Wait, hold on.
Can I tell my favorite story other than the first one?
Had to do with JoJo.
Got to put freaking Robbie on blast right now.
Oh, no.
I never saw them interact.
I did.
I got to be honest with you.
Record this. I got to be honest with you. Record this.
I got to be honest with you.
Yes, please do.
Yeah, get your phone ready.
Give up already.
I would say that like 75% of the reason why I came to your party was to watch this interaction happen.
So you knew about this interaction.
Yes.
Okay, good.
Because JoJo hit me up and she was like, hey, you going to this party?
And I was like, yeah, of course I'm going to this party.
And then I hooked Robbie up with like a hotel situation,
so I knew he was going to be in town.
And I was like, oh my God.
I had no idea.
Worlds are going to collide.
I'm like, JoJo and I are chill, right?
And P.S., Luke was supposed to be there too.
So I was like, this is going to be a massive JoJo ex-boyfriend party.
I know, and so I was so excited to see that happen.
All of it, yeah.
All of that happen.
So what happened?
I never saw Robbie and JoJo interact at all.
I didn't either. I'm sitting in the kitchen. We're about
to leave, right?
And Robbie rolls in
wearing the Hugh Hefner thing.
Yeah, yeah. Right? And I was like,
any excuse to wear freaking slippers, Robbie?
Like, Bob, I know your schtick, alright? You just want to wear
slippers. And so he turns to me.
He really loves them. He loves those slippers.
He turns to me and he's like, where's my ex-girlfriend?
And I was like, you're never going to be able to recognize her.
You will not spot her at this entire party.
Nowhere.
We tried to, I tried to avoid telling him she was going to be there.
And this hoe, the night we went out to drinks and she was like, yeah, Brandy, who else is
going to be there?
Oh, yeah.
So she was out with you guys the night before him?
Yeah, he came out.
He met us at Bar Sovereign.
Oh.
And he, like, I didn't even know what he was doing.
We were just trying to figure out, like, what he was doing here.
Yeah, like, why he was in town.
He's by himself in town, and I guess he, like, had a plan.
He says he did.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Apparently, like, Chase and Jeff with one F and a bunch of people were-
And Sheena from Vanderpump, they were all supposed to be here and then they all canceled
and so he was here by himself.
But he seemed to have a great time.
He bought those weekend tickets.
How much did he spend?
Some insane amount of money?
He said a couple.
I tried to get some for him
and I couldn't do it.
Anyway, so JoJo comes up to me
and she was like,
hey, Jordan gets in town tomorrow.
So she's giving me a hug
and she's like, I really want to go to brunch. We're all going to go to brunch together. And I was like, yes, perfect, great, Jordan gets in town tomorrow. So she's giving me a hug. And she's like, I really want to go to brunch.
Like, we're all going to go to brunch together.
And I was like, yes, perfect, great, whatever, awesome.
And then right there is Robbie sitting next to me.
And she just turns to him and she goes, oh, my God, I literally can't even.
And puts her hand up and is like, no.
I did not see this moment.
I wish I had.
Has she not seen Robbie since?
I don't think.
No, no.
We all hung out in Vegas last year for the iHeartFest.
And I think it was part like, oh my God, Robbie's here.
And also probably a part of I look like a man right now.
A straight dude.
I don't think it was her trying to be like, screw you, dude.
I think it was more like, dude, I just can't.
I always pictured that if I see you, I'm going to look like, screw you, dude. I think it was more like, dude, I just can't.
I always pictured that if I see you, I'm going to look like a freaking 10 and I'm going to look amazing.
And she looked like a man.
Yeah, a literal man.
I hardly recognized her.
I had no idea.
They walked in and I was like, who are these people? Who are these freaks in my house?
But I was also like, damn, I wish I would have thought of that.
Yeah, it was good.
I know, it was really good.
I usually do man costumes or jokes.
Was it an exact character or was it just something they made up?
Because she kept saying she was Klein with a C.
I think they were just, they said they were, I don't know if this is appropriate, but they
kept saying like they're white trash or like they're just like-
Hashtag white trash, Duck Dynasty.
Got it.
Like kind of all over the place.
Yeah.
From what I think, so.
Well, I think we need to tell you our favorite story from the night.
Yeah, I heard, need to tell you our favorite story from the night. Yeah, I heard
tell of this. Do you know there was a
girl fight? Yeah, so the only reason
why I know there was a girl fight, because I
must have left. Did I leave? I must
have been upstairs. I was gone. I missed the
whole thing. All of the people who should have been
there to witness this were not there, apparently.
Although, when it did occur
between me and this
person, I thought everyone
was there. Like, it was pretty embarrassing.
But I also didn't care, because I felt
so proud of myself in the moment. The only reason
why I found out is I came to work, and I
invited my friend Jackie to your party,
and she was like, oh my god.
Was she there? She was there.
Did I meet her? Yeah, you met her. She was wearing
like a blonde wig on.
Gosh, I don't know.
I must have been pretty lit.
Anyway, she was a part of the fight.
No, there were a lot of people a part of this fight.
So she was like, where were you for the fight?
And I was like, what are you talking about?
She was like, there was a girl fight.
And I'm like, push some bitch.
And I was like, what?
It was real.
Yeah, okay.
So tell it.
So yeah, let's hear it.
Because Olivia was part of the fight.
I missed it.
Let's hear it.
Okay, can I start by saying I'm a pretty peaceful person until you fuck.
Can I cuss on this?
Yeah.
Until you fuck with me or a friend of mine, and then you're in trouble.
And so I'm dancing, and I dress like a slut.
I had just gotten dumped, so I was really in the mood to be a slut.
But it's Halloween, you're supposed to.
And I was a very tasteful slut, but I admitted I was a little bit of a mess.
I thought you looked great.
And I was just kind of getting in on the dance floor by myself, mind you.
And Becca Tilly, who is like the nicest person on this earth.
Like you could not even get her to say a mean thing about anyone.
This random girl, and you're convinced you know her, but I don't think she knew you.
I'm not going to say her name.
She had the worst costume at the party.
Oh my God.
So like first of all, she's talking shit, but she don't think she knew you. I do know her. I'm not going to say her name. She had the worst costume at the party. Oh my god. So like, first of all,
she's talking shit, but she literally dressed so stupid.
What was she dressed as? Nothing. She was
wearing jeans and a pink tank
top and like pigtails. I believe
she wasn't to be Britney. Well, whatever. She looked like
shit.
Get it. I'm telling it like it is. Tell it.
So she starts shitting
all over Becca and saying, you look like a lesbian dyke.
Okay.
Let me just preface by saying, Becca was truly in character.
She went all night.
All night.
She was going up to all the girls, hitting on girls, grinding on girls.
But it was a joke.
I agree.
It was a joke.
I think that's how it started.
Becca was probably, quote unquote, hitting on this girl.
Becca was grinding on this girl.
And this girl decided that she just wasn't having it.
Did not think it was funny.
And instead of just saying, like, hey, can, like, eh.
Like, no.
Or just, like, walk away.
I don't know.
Like, I would do.
She was like, bitch, like, you're a stupid dyke lesbian.
Get off me.
And she goes, can you go bug someone somewhere fucking else?
And Becca literally, like, you know.
I mean, she literally was like, oh, OK.
And walked away.
But for some reason, Olivia, in her state of just where I was at in the moment,
I was not okay with what happened.
And so I walked away.
I got a drink.
And I was like, what am I going to do here?
Because she also told Becca that I was the sluttiest girl at the party.
I did hear that.
That's insane.
Yeah.
Which, like, I don't care.
Calm me out.
But I don't think you were.
I was tasteful.
I'm pretty sure everybody, it's Halloween.
That's what girls do.
Anyway, so I got a drink and I was walking back into the dance floor.
And actually my friend Shiva decided to start some kind of shit where she was like, those bitches, they suck.
And they heard.
Also, Shiva is a title boxing coach.
She has bigger biceps than like my entire body, right?
And so these girls heard and they look at me and her and they're like, what the fuck did you just say?
And I was like, all right, it's time to step up to the plate.
Oh, my God.
So I was like, and I was like, okay, well, if you really want to know what our fucking problem is, I'm really sorry.
I don't speak like this normally, but I was drunk.
And I was like, you talked shit about me and you talked shit about my friend.
And they were like, no, we didn't.
And I was like, yeah, you did.
I'm not stupid.
I heard you talk about us.
You called me the sluttiest girl at the party and you called my good friend Becca a dyke
lesbian, which first of all, who the fuck says the word dyke anymore?
Who says that word?
Also, a dyke lesbian is redundant.
It is.
A little redundant. But I was just like, who the fuck says that word also a dyke lesbian is redundant it is a little redundant but i was just
like who the fuck says that and they were like well we we can't help that like we thought it
was funny that she was dressed like a dyke and i was like it's halloween you're literally making
fun of a girl for her halloween costume when she it's a joke she's not a lesbian dyke she's a girl
who's beautiful who dressed like a boy because your costume sucks and you're just jealous
because her costume
is ten fucking times
better than yours
and mine is too.
I started screaming
at this girl.
And I was,
it was my favorite moment.
And then I,
and then I went on
to the moment
where I was like,
you don't even know
the host of this party.
What is her name?
You don't even know
the host of this party.
Then you got a little crazy.
But she does know that, like I do know her. But she wasn't? You don't even know the host of this party. Then you got a little crazy. But she does.
I do know her.
But she wasn't acting like it.
Who goes to someone's party
and then makes fun of the guests?
Insane.
You would never go to my party
and call my guests a dyke lesbian.
I would never call anyone that ever.
You clearly don't know Brandy
if you think that you can
come into her home
and make fun of her guests.
I was like screaming.
I was really on one.
And then I called them dumbasses.
And then some of them ended up outside, right?
No, well, here's what happened.
They were just coming at me.
And I said, you guys, you bitches need to leave.
It was her and her friend.
And they were like, you don't tell us what to do.
And I point blank looked at both of them.
I said, I think I just did.
Oh, snap.
Yay.
So this blonde chick named Polly Wogg or whatever
walks towards the door, and I turn around.
Someone's watching Stranger Things.
I have, sorry.
Oh, yeah.
Episode three.
So, I walk.
She walks towards the door, and Shiva, my friend,
who has bigger biceps than anyone in this room probably.
Me included.
Wells included.
Obviously.
This girl, Mary Poppins, rams into Shiva on the way to the door.
Okay, but low-key, I think they have beef.
They do have beef.
Yes, okay.
But she body slams Shiva, and Shiva goes,
oh, no, you fucking didn't, and turns around
and pushes her into a wall and then pulls her down by the pigtail.
Oh, what?
And it hurts. At like, pulls her hair.
At first, people thought like me and this blonde girl were maybe just like playing around
or like, I don't know.
And that's when it got real.
But then when like the hair was pulled, it was like, whoa.
So she pulled her hair down.
How is there not a video of this?
And all the guys are like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, fuck, fuck.
And Shiva's like, get the fuck out of here.
Oh my God.
So she actually peacefully walked out the door.
That's insane.
But then, like, the brunette friend that was with this blonde girl tried to come at me again.
And, like, she was like, we need to squash this.
Like, there's beef.
And I was like, there's no beef.
I'm at this party.
You're an idiot because your friend sucks.
And you're defending your friend who called my friend a lesbian dyke.
Like, the fact that you're defending someone like that is so embarrassing. She called
Shiva an Armenian bitch.
I think she actually said
Arabian is what I heard.
Which is so just not accurate.
Your Arabian bitch friend is crying.
Arabian bitch.
I don't know
why she came to the party
and decided to make fun of people
but I decided to take care of it. Is it really a party if there's not a girl fight? I don't know if she came to the party and decided to make fun of people, but I decided to take care of it.
Is it really a party if there's not a girl fight?
I don't know if I've ever even been at a party where there was a girl fight.
The fact that I missed a girl fight makes me so upset.
Well, the funny thing was, when I have heels on, I'm probably like 6'1", 6'2".
So this girl was pretty small.
But she's tall, though.
She is, but I was the biggest girl there by far just because I was wearing my wedge shoes and stuff.
And so she kept trying to come at me.
And I thought, okay, if she punches me, that's okay because then I'll just make money and sue her.
So go ahead and punch me.
But she kept coming close to me and then realizing that I could literally squash her.
So she would back off again.
Oh, my gosh.
It was one of my favorite moments of all time.
Favorite moments. That was an unintentional favorite. I don't know where I was. It was one of my favorite moments of all time. Favorite moments.
That was an unintentional favorite.
I don't know where I was.
I was maybe upstairs.
The next morning I went to Brandy's and I thought she would be mad at me for starting
a girl fight at her party.
I thought it was great.
So I apologized and I was like, I'm really sorry for bringing that kind of stuff into
your home.
But I was just mad because I feel like-
Oh my gosh.
Becca also apologized even though it was obviously not Becca's fault in any way, shape, or form.
I mean, it just, yeah, like, I was drunk.
But I support it.
Like, fuck with my friends, and you're done.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I support it fully.
I just can't believe no one videoed it.
I can't believe it either.
It honestly happened so fast.
Like, the hair pull and the push.
The hair pull.
I needed that.
It was almost like, whoa.
Like, I yelled, but that was like holy crap this is actually like pushing
people okay so maybe we do need security maybe we do yeah i thought you were gonna have a door
he bailed he didn't want to come freaking brandy like hits me up early that day and she's like hey
can you give me your guest list yeah i was like guest list what is this you live in woodbine
there's just there's been some like not so appropriate comments on my Instagram account and on some of my
friends'
I don't want to-
About what?
I don't want to glorify this person by giving them time on my fucking podcast, but yeah,
there's just been some crazy stuff.
So I was like, okay, I leave my door open all night.
I'm drunk.
Anyone can come in.
Maybe we should have security.
Totally.
It's probably smart.
To be fair, it was a pretty star-studded
It was a star-studded event.
There were so
many people who were quote-unquote famous,
but no one could tell who anybody was.
Nobody could tell. No, I know. It was amazing.
I didn't recognize anybody.
When Wells walked in, I was like, wow, that's a really great
Eleven costume. She's awesome.
He was like, Wells!
It was just so funny.
I was with security. He bailed. It ended up being fine, although! It was just so funny. No, I was with security.
He bailed. It ended up being fine, although it would have been nice to have him for the girl fight.
I had it, though. I had it on lock.
Yeah, you did. I would have never
gone farther than I needed to go.
I just wanted her to leave because I felt
like she was bringing down the vibe of the
entire party. Yeah, I mean, I missed that
and I thought, like, just overall, the party
was so great. It was great. Oh my god. After this happened, I literally missed that and I thought, like, just overall, the party was so great. It was great. Oh my god.
The crew this year. After this happened, I literally went back
and I was just like, oh! Yeah, yeah, and you were living.
I was living the best life I've ever lived.
It was so much fun. And it's continued onward.
Yeah, we can't stop talking about it, clearly.
No, we still talk about it. Can't stop posting photos.
Just can't stop. Well, I can't pose any because my eyes
were like, rawr! In all of them.
But, yeah. It was great.
So that's my favorite part of the night.
I was annoyed with the Sam Hunt band that was there.
What?
I'm going to be honest with you.
Why?
Those are my friends.
I know, but we went in to go take a picture.
It was a line to take a picture.
How did you even know they were in Sam's band?
Because I work in radio.
I know this stuff.
How do you know?
I don't know.
I just know.
Don't worry about it.
Anyways, I was in line to go and then then it was my turn, and then those guys came and
came, and I was like, whoa, no, we're in line.
And luckily, I think it was either Becca or JoJo who was taking our picture, and I think
it was JoJo, and she was like, hey, motherfuckers, out.
They're first.
JoJo knows those guys.
I think she's been to a few of Sam's shows before.
She kept going up to all of them saying,
do you remember?
You don't know me, do you?
And they know her fully,
and they were like, oh yeah.
But they couldn't tell.
They couldn't recognize her at all,
which was so funny.
But I think it was JoJo,
because she ended up jumping.
I have a group photo of me and the guys and JoJo,
and she's in it,
so I do think it was JoJo.
She literally looked unreal.
I can't get over it.
I know. Those guys are sweet. Wait, what unreal. I can't get over it. I know.
Those guys are sweet.
Wait, what guys?
I'm confused.
Who are we talking about? The Sam Hunt band.
Sam wasn't there, but his band was there.
No, Burke, Ty.
Yeah.
I don't think they're the best.
Listen, I don't think that they're, I don't dislike them.
That moment, I was just like, guys, come on.
What's the line here?
It's like when you're driving the bigger car, you just cut them off. I know. And you just do your thing.
That's what happened.
And they're tall.
I don't know what to say.
They are.
Wow.
There's like the black guy.
Ty, he's like 6'5".
Yes.
I was like, because you are such a huge basketball fan.
I was like, what Cleveland Cavalier is this?
What Cleveland Cavalier?
I freaking wish.
Honestly, that's exactly what I was like.
That's hilarious.
That's a Cavalier. Ty, we're going to kick out of that. Oh, I know who what I was like. That's a cavalier.
Ty will get a kick out of that.
Oh, I know who you're talking about now.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sorry it took me a while.
Just the 6'5 black guy.
Yeah, I remember him.
How many 6'5 black guys were there that night?
No, I remember him because he was the only person who was tall enough for me to potentially make out with.
There you go.
Did you make out?
I didn't.
He didn't make out?
Coulda, shoulda, woulda.
He flirted with me a little bit.
So, Ty's a flirt.
Ty's a flirt.
I was busy screwing people up.
Speaking of Olivia's status right now, we were just at dinner, and one of my favorite
things that has come up about this ex of hers is that she just told me he keeps a diary.
Have you ever met a male adult that actually writes
handwritten diaries? This is
Nashville. Every man
in this town. He's not from here.
He's not a musician. There is no
way. So have you read
his diary? She read it!
First of all, time out. Number one,
I do not keep a diary.
But I do have like a, when I
wanted to be Like a musician
No this was like
A lyric book
You wanted to be a musician
Yeah that's why
I got into radio
Because I was like
Well I'm not gonna be good
To do this
So I can just talk
To these people
Okay here's the thing
Like I'm all about like
Like writing
Like write
Like if you're like
I'm a writer
I like to write
I like to whatever
Get my thoughts out
It's 2017
We have laptops
Oh yeah
Type it in your notes on your phone.
Like, this is what I'm thinking today.
Yes, a handwritten journal is just so emo and feminine.
It is a little, yeah.
Okay, so he's got a moleskin journal.
It was actually like something that you would have at school.
Didn't have a lock?
Did it have a little lock?
It was wide open.
It was a Polly Pocket.
It was wide open.
Girl went for it.
Okay, so you read it.
How long were you dating this guy?
Just context. Three months. Oh, my God. You went for it. Okay, so you read it. How long did you date this guy? Just context.
Three months. Oh my god!
Three months?
Okay, so he's got a
diary. There's so many
problems. We don't have to go into all the problems.
Let's just tackle the one issue
of a diary. Yeah, yeah. So wait, hold on.
No, no, no. We know!
We know there's an issue with the
diary. That was where it all began and then it just got worse.
So that first night when
you realized that he had a diary,
was it like, huh, what's that?
He told me about it at night
and I said, I gotta get in this thing.
Yeah, he told you over a glass of wine?
Yeah, I like to put my thoughts down.
He was talking about how he was going to
write or something and then he would wake up
really early and leave and I would sleep later.
So I had to write this to myself.
In a diary.
It was my best bet.
I literally just opened it up.
That's insane.
Is this NYC or is this here?
This is here.
Oh, my God.
He just dumped me last week.
Can you believe?
Did he dump you because you went through his journal?
No.
Well, I don't know if you want to get into it.
I don't know why.
No, okay, hold on.
I just want to know what he wrote about.
It's insane.
Give me like one passage.
Well, he wrote that he was going on a date.
Yeah, with you.
Literally was writing about Olivia.
Yeah, that's nice.
But he goes, it's not just any girl.
It's a girl from The Bachelor.
Yeah, well, that's fair.
No!
That's fair.
For me, like such a turn off.
Such a turn off.
I know, but that's fair for him to be like.
No, for me, the red flag, which I had heard multiple times before this so this
was a mistake on my part to continue
on but he literally
wrote I asked a girl
out for the first time ever. Oh
wow. Is he like really good looking?
Yeah. He's hot. He's hot.
Which is like so he thinks that like
Yeah he's never had to work for anything his entire life.
And so the minute that I
that I like bother him that he's not giving me enough,
he's like, nope, I can't do this.
I have to leave.
I can't be here.
And that's what happened.
I was like, wait, I'm a fucking queen and you're a queen.
Oh, my God.
Yes!
Yes, queen!
Yes!
And I was like, you don't treat me like I'm a queen.
And he was like, oh, I can't do this.
I have to go.
Bye!
In the middle of the night.
So it's fine. But it was at your place? It was at my place, I can't do this. I have to go. Bye. In the middle of the night.
So it's fine.
Was it?
But it was at your place?
It was at my place.
So at least I got to go back to sleep.
I think you should have just been like, that's fine.
I don't date losers who keep diaries.
And slammed the door in his face.
Honestly, I forgot about the diary.
But I just kept a running list of all the things where I was like, this is not right.
Where did diary keeping land on that list?
Well, it was like three.
So there were two other things that were more fucked up than the guy keeping it.
What were they?
Or do you not want to put them on blast?
No, the first one was for- He'll never listen to this podcast.
This is a very popular podcast, guys.
We were dating for three months.
Tens of people listen to this.
Number 175 on the top podcast list.
Mine's like 250, so it's fine.
It's great.
Are we? Is that where we are? 175? I don't know. I made it up. I made it up, so it's fine. It's great. Are we?
Is that where we are?
175?
I don't know.
I made it up.
I made it up, too.
I don't know.
Probably, like, at least number nine.
Let's look.
No, he.
No, don't.
That'll make me look the best.
He, uh, we dated for three months, and he never made out with me.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Let alone, like, felt my boob.
Yeah.
Oh, so there was just no.
Not even just one boob.
Like, no, like, there was no, like, he didn't even, like, graze my nipple on accident. Oh, so there was just not even just one boob. No, like there was no like you didn't even
like graze my nipple on accident.
Like it was like pause. This leads us perfectly
into a segment that I was going to call hashtag
Ask Wells. Okay. Where we ask
you advice. Okay, so this is great. This is
perfect. Continue. So if a guy
proceeds to date me
for three months without making out
with me and or feeling my
vagina
and he claims that it's because he's been three months without making out with me and or feeling my vagina.
And he claims that it's because he's been a huge dick in the past and he just wants to like be a better man.
Like that's bullshit, right?
He wants to find a better man.
That's what I said.
I said he is.
I'm sorry, Olivia, you are really hot.
That's what I'm saying.
It would be very hard to not make out with you.
There was a day where I...
We slept together at least 25, 30 times.
Like literally slept together.
Slept.
Literally just sleeping.
Where I would take my shirt off, and I have fake tits.
They're perfect.
They look great.
Saw them today.
They're fabulous.
I'm not wearing a bra, and they're still up and perfect.
They look great.
So this is the one thing I have going in my life.
The one thing.
Well, and I'm pissed.
Can I talk about my vagina too?
Can I talk about sweating?
I'm just going to talk about my vagina.
Sweating is good.
So I usually wax.
Sweating is good.
I usually wax.
Yeah.
I kept thinking that like, oh, this is the day that we're going to, he's going to feel my vagina.
I'm sweating.
And so I kept shaving
and like, you know, like shaving your
vagina is really bad. It's awful. It's really hard.
It's the worst. He kept not
touching my vagina and I kept getting really
mad.
I kept wasting my wax because
of it.
Because I kept, like now I have to get a
I have to let it, like, you know. Let it grow back out. There's a whole thing. He dumped me so now I have to get away I have to let it like you know
let it grow back out
let it grow out
there's a whole thing
he dumped me
so now I have to
grow it out
but um
yeah yeah yeah
and now you gotta
time your next
hook up
with my vagina
yes that's tough
now I'm just really upset
because I dated someone
for so long
and I kept thinking like
okay like
I get the whole
like being a good man thing
but there's a difference
like I wasn't saying
I need you to have sex with me that wasn't what I was saying I was literally saying can you like grab
my face and stick your tongue in my ear or something like anything anything nothing nothing
I think he's either he likes men which is fine just let's own it my issue was like look I I am
a little crazy and I've got my own shit going on.
But like, I am attractive-ish.
You know, like I literally told her earlier, she's like Scarlett Johansson.
She's like super sexy.
No, you know, do you remember what I told you in New York?
And you had no idea who I was talking about.
Who were you talking about?
Oh, boy.
No, it was a compliment.
I was like, you've always reminded me of Michelle Pfeiffer.
And you're like, I don't know who
that is.
I'm in that all the time, but I don't even know who that is.
What lies beneath?
What?
One of my favorite movies.
Grease 2.
Oh, eh.
I never saw.
I always just, people always tell me it's either Cameron Diaz or, who's the girl from
Grease?
Olivia Newton-John.
All right.
But anyway, look, regardless, it started affecting my psyche, and that's when I'm like, look.
You're like, uh-uh.
So I brought it up, and he realized,, oh my God, this girl has opinions.
This is not good.
So then he dumped me.
Okay, I either think, okay, maybe he's gay, whatever.
My option, too, was if he's not getting it from you, he's getting it somewhere else?
He didn't have time.
Wells, what are your thoughts?
The whole excuse of I'm not not ready I can't give you
what you need
that's bullshit
yeah
that's like
I don't want to get
into a relationship
because I'm focusing
on my career
that's literally what he said
work is so crazy right now
I have so many priorities
and I just hate
that you treat me so well
but that I'm half-assing
what we have
no so that's BS
the career thing
is always BS
the side piece
is also BS
because if you've got a side piece, well, then you also should
be hooking up with the main piece and then the side piece.
My thing was at least try to get some before you dump me.
What a weirdo.
Did you ever grab his hand and was like, vagina, right here.
As a girl, you do not want to be that person.
The first time, I love initiating.
I love sex.
I think it's great.
But I don't want to initiate the first time.
No.
And especially, I'm not going to initiate sex with you if you haven't even pushed me against a wall and sucked my face off.
No.
That's just weird.
You can't go from pecking to I'm going to suck your...
So it was only pecking?
That was it.
Can you handle?
They spent so much time together.
So much time together.
Were you ever just like, dude, are you going to make out with me or what?
I did in bed and then he literally put his clothes on and broke up with me.
Literally.
Okay.
I think there's some deeper seated issues with this poor man.
There has to be.
All right.
Well, I even told him I got the orgasm shot.
What is that?
So we know about this?
There are so many shots I don't know about.
Is this Botox like in the clitoris?
It is.
So I get blood taken out of my arm and mixed with like, I don't know, like hormones or something, whatever gets you off.
And half of it is injected into my clit and half of it is injected into my clitoris.
Are you dying right now?
This is not real life.
Yes, it is.
She did this.
And so I have like a mound of a G-spot
and like my clit is like more...
And I literally told him this thinking...
I literally told him,
when I have an orgasm...
Well, if your girlfriend told you this,
what would your reaction be?
Babe, when I have an orgasm,
I will punch a hole in the roof.
Okay.
Wouldn't you want to like challenge that?
What is your response to that, Wells?
I think I would want to be like,
all right, let's see what we got going on down here.
Exactly!
It's almost like it got worse!
You told him that?
You were like,
I have a giant G-spot now.
In New York, I was like,
hey, I'm here,
I'm recording some shows,
and I'm getting an O-shot.
He was like,
whoa, that's cool.
And I was like, yeah.
When I get an orgasm,
it's going to rock.
Can we send this guy a bill
for the wax and the O-shot?
I'm not kidding.
My vagina is a mess right now.
So is my psyche.
It's weird.
It's not.
You're living your best life.
I am.
Life is good.
The first couple days,
I was taking walks in forests
and stuff and crying.
2018 is going to be the year for Olivia.
I thought 2017 was. No, screw it. I just the year for Olivia. It is. I thought 2017 was.
No, screw it.
I just don't understand why.
This is a question for another man.
You have any questions, please.
Mine are really stupid.
Why do men pursue you when they know full well they're not down to be in a relationship?
Why?
Like, do they just want to go on dates?
Like, what's the deal?
If you're not ready for a relationship, then don't fucking message me.
Okay, especially if you're not going to bang.
Especially if I'm not getting a wiener out of it.
That's the one thing, right?
Like, I can see it.
Guys just want to have sex.
Great.
It's the only thing on their mind.
Great.
This guy doesn't want to do that.
At 25, I'm hornier than I've ever been.
So I literally will have sex with anyone.
You guys are asking me a question and then, like, not letting me answer it.
Wells, answer.
Please.
Well, okay, so go back to the original.
The whole concept for me, which I was annoyed.
Wells still can't talk.
Wells, I was annoyed because he pursued me very, very hard.
And then all of a sudden, he, like, one night in bed is like,
you know what, I'm not ready for this.
I can't do a relationship.
I've never been ready. So my thing, as he's walking out the door was like then why the
fuck did you message me in the first place yeah and why did last week you were like i want to
meet your mom and your grandma and your dad like he literally at the hockey game two hours before
he dumped me was like hey next month we're gonna get tickets like front row for my birthday all
right but then i bring up the fact that you haven't sucked my face,
and you're like, just kidding, I can't do this.
Maybe he was just like, I want to be close to the hockey players.
I think you're right.
I think you're leaning towards the fact that he just wanted a male.
Yeah.
That's what I think.
Okay, so great.
I've dated a gay man.
That's awesome.
I mean, I think a lot of women have.
Yeah.
I've dated a few, debatably.
Haven't we all, Wells?
I have.
Wells hasn't. I haven't. I've dated a few, debatably. Haven't we all, Wells? I haven't. You do, Wells hasn't.
I haven't.
But I want to answer your question, the question that you originally posed.
Yes, please.
Which was about, like, why do you even message someone if you're not ready to get into a relationship?
Exactly.
Okay, I think that guys think that the way to get laid is to go on dates and start dating somebody.
That's what I'm saying, but this guy didn't even want to do that.
I know.
Like this guy's an oddity.
Like I don't even know
where to start with that guy.
I don't know what's happening.
Yeah.
We need to put him
on a shelf over here.
I mean,
and I talked to you about this
and we're both kind of
emotionally stunted
and I think we're both
going to end up
just dating each other.
I'm just going to be alone.
It was something where
I've just never,
I talked to my girlfriends about this.
I talked to my mom and everyone was just like, I don't know.
Yeah.
What did your mom say?
Her mom, you know Olivia's mom.
You know her.
You met her at Bar Taco.
My mom is, she's, you know, well she just, she didn't like him from the get go.
Moms always know.
They do.
And we had dinner.
He set up a dinner with her and she she, right afterwards, goes, no.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Honestly, I wish I learned my lesson.
When my mom says, uh-uh, it's just time to break up.
My best friend Lexi and my mom are the guy before him that I dated.
Lexi met him, talked to him for 10 seconds, and goes, no.
Yeah.
God.
Because it's true.
The people closest to you really have They have a They know me Like my
Sixth sense about it
My mom knows me
And knows
Like I'm such a freaking lover
That literally every guy I meet
I'm like he's my husband
Every time
Literally every time
Really
Yes
That's how I am
Oh my gosh
I'm such a lover
And I want to see like
The best in everyone
Hence why I give people chances
Longer than I think they deserve
Yeah you did do that this time
Like I gave him
Two months longer
Yeah yeah yeah
And like many miles And a lot of gas.
You did.
Drove to Murfreesboro every day.
That's what I meant.
He lived in Murfreesboro?
Yeah.
That was your first clue.
Hey, my horse lives there.
That's where horses live.
Not people.
Actually, Wells, I have a question for you, too.
There was like a white supremacist rally there.
The first question that my mom asked my ex and Luke Pell when we had a podcast together was,
my mom likes farts and stuff.
So she was like, and stuff.
Farts and stuff.
So she was like, well, how long is it okay until a girl farts in front of you?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a valid, yeah, Wells.
Okay, so hold on.
Tongue.
Or would you rather us fart loud and not smell or fart quiet and smell?
That's an obvious answer.
Okay, loud and not smell.
Really?
Obviously, yes.
Yes, 100%.
So you'd rather me do it and I'd be like, oops, sorry, but it's okay.
Yeah, but I'd also need you to like die laughing.
I laugh.
So like that I can like get in on the joke with you, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I'm also that guy
that like never farts
in front of anybody
you don't?
but I
that shocks me
you've never farted
in front of anyone?
I mean I
like once you start dating
someone long enough
like you just can't hide it
but I'm a guy that will
never fart in front of you
but I will let you know
that I'm going on a fart walk
no
so you'll say
yeah I'll be like
I'm going on a fart walk
that's my new favorite term I'm going to go over here now and so oh so I I'll be like, I gotta go to the fart walk. That's my new favorite term.
I'm gonna go over here now.
I let it be known that I'm being a gentleman.
Oh, is that what you're being? Yeah, being a
gentleman. I get that though. I'll be like, hey,
I gotta fart. I'm gonna go in the hallway really quick.
That is insane. Or I'll go
pee and fart in the toilet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Turn the sink on. I also have like, I have like
my half bath. Oh yeah. When the sink on. I also have like, I have like my half bath.
Oh, yeah.
When people are over, that's where we go take poos.
Gotcha.
All right?
Main bathroom, pee-pees.
Half bath, that's where we're just unloading.
Next time we go to Wells.
I think, like, if I ever move in with a man, which I once again won't think, I don't think
I'll ever meet a man.
It's not in the cards.
But if it does happen, we have to have our own bathrooms.
Yeah.
Really?
That is absolutely
100%. Or just like
two different toilet stalls. Or a full bathroom.
There you go. My parents have that. And then a half bath.
Or a half bath. Or a toilet
that has a door on it. Yeah.
You know? That's what I want. I want
two toilets. It's like my
toilet and her toilet.
And then we can have like a
his and hers mirror thing. That's fine. But we don't talk about what happens in our toilet. And then we can have his and hers mirror thing.
That's fine. But we don't talk about what happens
in our toilet. That's what it is.
I don't really think
I care that much. Is that why I'm
single?
I've had some
real bad nights at Hattie B's
and that things
just shouldn't, people shouldn't know
that that could happen to a human.
I just hate going on dates in general because after dates I always have issues. and that like things just shouldn't, like people shouldn't know that that could happen to a human.
I just hate going on dates in general
because like after dates,
like I always have issues, you know?
And so like when you go to dinner on a date,
like I'd rather go for a walk in like the woods or something
and we can like talk or something.
But I don't want to eat
because then I guarantee you have to fart afterwards.
What's the most romantic date you've ever been on?
TV excluded. Well, I never went on a romantic
date on TV.
Honestly,
I can't think of one.
Olivia!
The Predators game? No? Like, literally, I told
this story on my podcast, but my college
boyfriend who I dated for three years,
for Valentine's Day, he took
me to Raising Cane's.
What's that? It's like a fast food restaurant.
Oh. And bought me a t-shirt
at Cane's. No. And that's why we broke up.
Because I was like, are you fucking
kidding me? He said,
close your eyes. And I thought he was going to like hand me a ring
or something, you know? No, just kidding.
Like a kiss? Like a kiss or something.
Like a kiss. Because apparently that's really hard to come by
lately. But yeah.
He literally said, close your eyes, and went to the counter and bought me a Raising Cane's t-shirt so I looked like a fucking employee.
That's insane.
And then was he like, go get me a soda?
And I bought him a movie that I wanted to watch with him, which was really very not
good on my end either.
But other than that, I have not been.
But I don't like romantic dates. I don't really either. Is that weird? I don't end either. But other than that, I've not been... But I don't like romantic dates.
I don't really either. Is that weird?
I don't really either.
I don't know. You know me. I'm like, basketball game.
I guess that's whatever your definition
of romantic... The question was, what's the
most romantic date you've been on?
Not like you have to go to fucking France
and sit underneath the moonlight.
For me, the last guy I was dating,
we had really fun dates.
He put a lot of effort into going to the Predators game
and we had great seats and we got beers and pizza.
That's fun to me.
That sounds cute.
Plus, hockey is a great date because you're cold.
That's true.
Oh, yes.
Wells is taking notes.
I am taking notes.
I'll give you some love.
I love hockey dates because you're automatically going to be cold.
So there's a reason to see.
You can also see how cuddly he is if he's going to put his hand on your leg to keep you warm or offer you his jacket.
I like ice cream dates.
All right.
Yeah, going for ice cream.
I mean, there's a lot of licking.
A lot of phallic shapes.
I like it.
I'm really glad
everyone knows about my vagina.
We're kind of like...
Do you talk about your vagina
on your podcast?
I talk about so many things
I should talk about.
Have you listened to Olivia's podcast?
It's so good.
Have you listened to the episode
where I admit I've never had an orgasm?
You haven't?
No.
You're getting shots
straight into your clitoride.
That's why she got it.
That's why I got it. That's why I got it.
Damn, girl.
Yeah.
Let me tell you something.
This last guy aside.
Yeah.
That would fuck with my mind.
Yeah.
If I couldn't get my girl off.
Really?
Yes.
I totally understand that, which is why I was like, I don't think men, half of them,
at least all of the men I've ever slept with, don't even know what an orgasm is.
They wouldn't even know whether I had one or not.
Well, that's, I mean, the fact that we can fake it so easily and get away with it is
like-
I mean, I always, after I think that I've given someone an orgasm, I say, did you have
an orgasm?
See, I've never, like, at least the men that I've-
And if they say, if they say, if they say like, not yet, I go, okay, well, I've got
to go back down south.
Back down south.
Got to figure this thing out.
That's fair.
Most guys ask.
They think if I'm, like, screaming that that's me having an orgasm.
Oh.
Usually, for all the women out there, if you are having an orgasm, yell out that you are
coming.
Orgasm!
Oh my gosh.
What?
Well.
What's wrong with that?
A little cheesy, but okay.
I understand how it messes with a man's psyche,
hence why I was also putting in effort to make it easier
because I want to have one just as much as I want the person that I'm with to give me one.
Yeah, but if you're faking it all the time, then he can't put in the effort.
Totally.
But hold on.
Have you had one?
I don't masturbate.
Okay, well, you've got to start working on that.
I told her Amazon Prime something immediately.
I told my friend to prime me a vibrator because I won't actively go on Prime and buy one.
She even tweeted, which one should I get for, apparently, are you gonna prime me a vibrator?
I'm gonna video this.
I'll vidmo you.
I'll vidmo you.
I mean, how much are vibrators?
They're not a lot.
But then, what do you do?
Like, what, do you turn the lights off, and you just start?
I think it's different for everybody, really.
You gotta explore your body.
Mom, actually.
What are you doing right now, Wells?
I'm buying Olivia a vibrator right now.
I didn't even know until last week that girls have a separate hole that they pee out of.
Are you kidding me?
I thought I peed out of my hole that you also put your wiener in.
Olivia.
I'm telling you.
There's a lot wrong with that statement.
Okay, hold on though.
Did you go to school?
As the son of a gynecologist. Oh, yeah. There's a lot wrong with that statement. Okay, hold on though. Did you go to school? As the son of a gynecologist.
Oh, yeah.
Did you know?
Your mom was a gynecologist?
Dad is a gynecologist.
We called him once on the show.
Can we call him and I can-
He was very cranky last time.
Yeah, he's-
Okay, then maybe we shouldn't call him.
Okay, hold on.
So you got vibrating toy for men, so your ex could get one of these.
Vibrating toy for adult, vibrating ring, vibrating egg, vibrating panties. I don't want an egg. Vibrating toy for men, so your ex could get one of these. Vibrating toy for adult. Vibrating ring.
Vibrating egg.
Vibrating panties.
I don't want an egg.
Vibrating jeans.
I want like a semi.
Honestly.
Oh, wait.
Lexi.
Something like a pocket rocket, but a little bigger.
Hold on.
Lexi sent me the names of, oh, I keep saying Lexi.
Sorry, no one knows who she is.
It's fun.
My best friend keeps, she tweeted something.
There's two options.
You want me to read them to you?
Yeah.
Is this going to arrive at your house or? I'll come
pick it up.
Vibrate toys for
adults. Oh my gosh.
Well, this looks nice.
This looks like a nice one. The Jesse
Wave Vibrate Toy. The Jesse
Wave. It looks like it's got like a
remote control. I can't take too many arms.
I don't know.
I don't know.
The egg ones aren't great.
Okay, so, Brandi,
you pick it out
and then I'll pay for it.
There's a Feeho
or a Wow Yes,
and everyone said
that I need a Wow Yes.
Why?
Okay, so, yeah.
Here's the Feeho.
Okay.
That looks very big. Let me see that. That looks kind of like what I just showed her. Okay, yeah. Uh-huh. Okay. That looks very big.
Let me see that.
That looks kind of like what I just showed her.
Okay, yeah.
Or there's the wow-yes.
But see, that looks scary that there's like a vagina and a butthole.
I don't think that's what it is.
I think the smaller one is for your clitoris.
That's what she needs.
That's a good little starter.
Thank you.
That's kind of like the yow-wes.
Wow-yes. Yow-wes. It's pink of like the Yow-Wes.
It's pink.
I love pink.
I'm adding it to the cart.
The fact that Wells is buying you a vibrator is everything. I owe Wells literally for the rest of my life.
No, you just owe me $19.95.
That's a great price. I'll give you $19.95.
Okay, hold on.
Brian, when was the last time
that you had an orgasm?
Oh, it's been a while.
How long?
Oh, God.
Are we both that bad?
Two years, maybe?
You haven't had an orgasm in two years?
Yeah, I haven't done anything except a mild hookup at South by Southwest since my last boyfriend.
I know.
I'm the worst.
We're going out.
I'm busy.
I know, but we're going out one night, and we're going to just be- I can't just hook up with somebody ugly. It's just not in me. I know. I'm the worst. We're going out. I'm busy. I know, but we're going out one night and we're gonna just be
I can't just hook up with somebody ugly.
It's just not in me. I can't do it.
Yeah, I get that. Put in your
information. Okay, you guys talk while I'm
entering my name. Should we talk about favorite things?
Have we done that at all? Not at all.
But this whole podcast has been one of my favorite
things. Okay, hold on.
I really, okay, one of my
favorite things right now, I think obviously I like Stranger Things. Just finished it. I really, okay, one of my favorite things right now,
I think obviously I like Stranger Things.
Just finished it.
I haven't finished it.
Finished it.
Okay, hold on.
A couple thoughts on Stranger Things.
Stop with the voice.
Don't do that.
Okay, so the first season, Will's in the Upside Down line, right?
And so you don't really get a whole lot of,
you just don't even know what kind of actor this kid is.
No Will, yep. And the second
season, you realize
holy shit, man, he's the
best actor in the whole thing and they didn't
even use him in season one.
But I think they probably cast him knowing
they would use that in season two. He's 14.
14 years, and dude, I looked at
his Instagram. Do you know what it says?
No. It's like, it's like
avid traveler. No. It's like, it's like, uh, avid traveler.
No.
Search.
It's like, search for the places where the Wi-Fi's the worst.
No.
And I was like, who is this little Dalai Lama?
That's the kind of kid I want.
I swear to God.
I messaged Gaten.
I don't know.
I don't know anyone's name.
He's Dustin.
The guy who posts all the selfies that he takes with his fans.
Yeah, yeah.
And he messaged me back, and he was like, I would love to interview with you one day,
but I'm so busy right now.
And they are like all, I would, they're like the definition of what child actors should be.
They're so precious.
Wait, I want to make this a gift, this vibrator, and have a funny message that goes along with it.
Oh, cute.
Oh, no, I'm very scared.
Yeah, Olivia.
You're the king of funny, so.
Yeah.
I don't know if I should say what I want to do out loud.
Oh, just do it.
Make it a secret.
Just do what you want.
And yeah.
Is this like prime?
Is this going to arrive tomorrow so I can have my first orgasm tomorrow night?
And like by the time that this, oh my God, your face right there.
Sorry.
Is that your O face?
We don't even know what your O face is.
She doesn't even know.
I mean, I imagine it's what it always is.
Yeah, just a giant mouth.
Just my mouth wide open.
Probably, honestly.
And my eyes probably roll into the back of my head, and I'm like a psychopath.
That's the best.
That's when you know.
Do you like it when girls make really kind of weird faces during sex?
That way, because then he knows.
I'm obviously big into affirmation.
I need to know that I'm doing a good job.
I'm a people pleaser.
You're like the words of affirmation kind of guy.
Yeah, so like screams of affirmation.
What?
Orgasm!
Orgasm!
Can we talk for like three hours?
Is that okay?
How long have we been talking?
One hour.
That's pretty good.
We probably should wrap up soon.
Hold on. A little more about Stranger Things. And then I good. We probably should wrap up soon. No. Hold on.
A little more about Stranger Things.
And then I want to go into my other thing that I really like a lot.
Okay.
Dustin's character in this season is written so funny.
Yep.
It's funny.
They've done a really good job of developing his character.
They obviously realize, oh shit, this kid's funny.
Let's start writing for him.
Yep.
Loved him.
Nancy's scene where she gets wasted.
Oh yeah.
What do you think about that?
I really like it.
You liked it?
I was like, oh, it's a good scene.
I thought it was a really good scene.
I thought her acting was absolutely terrible in that scene.
Do you know, like, everyone on that show is British?
No.
Yeah.
It's so annoying.
You know who I really love this year?
And, Wells, when you finish, you're going to love him even more.
Steve.
Oh, with the hair.
Steve with the hair.
Got gray hair.
He got a really good edit this season.
Did he?
Oh.
He's going to be really big in season three, I feel it.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay, I thought, you haven't seen the end though.
You know who's hot as shit too, and I don't know why he was a character, but Billy.
Is he the guy that drives around the firebird with the mullet?
Yeah, he's hot.
Oh, I didn't think he was that hot.
I thought he was very feminine looking.
Yeah, I'm only on episode three, but I was like, I think this guy's gay.
Yeah, I thought so, and I thought too.
So don't ruin it for me, because I have a feeling that there's-
No, they don't do the gay route this season.
Oh, they don't?
No, they don't.
But did you guys get that feeling too?
They're like, what's a little feminine?
Yes, I thought he was very feminine.
Okay.
Yeah, I did.
What else did I-
Okay, but the way the season-
I really like-
Okay, first, I was like, I think that Samwise Gamgee, or Sean Austin-
See, I don't know anyone's-
I just know them by their names.
Okay, so he was in Frodo, or he was in Lord of the Rings.
Who?
And he was Rudy.
Who was?
It's-
What's her name?
The mom's new boyfriend.
Oh, Bill.
Bob.
Bob.
Yes, Bob.
Bob.
That's who that is!
I love Bob!
I kept wondering how I knew him.
Oh my God.
So at first I was like-
He's Sam in Lord of the Rings?
Yes.
And he's also Rudy.
Oh my God.
I love Bob.
He's got, he's, he's-
Bob is literally the guy I need to date, but I never go after him.
But Bob, man.
God, Bob.
So at first I was like, is Bob a bad guy?
Oh wait, that's valid.
You finished, right?
Oh yeah.
So I was like, okay, so you guys have seen it. that's valid. You finished, right? So you guys have
seen it. I haven't finished it. Here are all my theories.
Can you freaking finish it already?
I know, sorry. You have a flight tomorrow, right?
Get on it. Yeah, I actually am. That's what I'm going to do.
First I was like, I think Sam's going to
Bob's going to be a bad guy. And then I was like, no.
Bob's a good guy. Like him a lot.
The two new characters, the mullet guy
and the red-headed girl. Max. I was like,
there's something going on here, because
I'm not sure if they're brother or sister. I agree.
Something's happening. Not loving it.
Ba-da-ba-ba.
Oh my god.
Hashtag not an ad.
Not an ad.
Sponsored. So anyways,
I really like that show.
The other one that I really, really love is
Manhunt. You guys seen that?
No.
Okay, so you know the guy from Avatar?
Yes.
Main character from Avatar.
Sam Worthington?
Yes.
Wait, he's one of the hottest guys that's ever walked the face of the earth.
Okay, so he's the main character in this-
He is?
In this series that's all about the Unabomber.
Wait, I'm going home to watch this immediately.
So he's the detective that cracks the case on the Unabomber. Where, I'm going home to watch this immediately. So he's the detective that like cracks
the case on the Unabomber.
Where can I watch this? Netflix.
Okay, question. How do you watch Netflix
on a plane? You download it to your phone.
How do you download it on Netflix?
So you have it on your phone? No.
Okay, well you download Netflix to your phone
or your tablet or whatever.
Can I get it on my laptop? No, you don't need
the service. I want it on my laptop.
Let me fucking tell you how to do it!
Poor Wells has not gotten a word in.
This is your favorite thing podcast
with Brandy and Olivia.
I'm co-hosting this week.
Oh, God, I lost my podcast in my own studio.
Yep.
So you gotta get on your phone and your tablet.
I assume you can download the app to your computer
as well. That's what I want. Okay.
Then you go to my downloads
and usually it's only like Netflix
originals or like a certain number
of movies. Then you can download those ones
and then watch them whenever without
Wi-Fi. I need it on my laptop. I don't
like watching things on my phone. You don't? It's so
small. Yeah, it doesn't bother
me anymore.
I hate it.
My favorite thing is you guys.
Oh, that's sweet.
That's nice.
I mean, this feels like my favorite episode we've had.
I'm not going to lie.
Really?
Yeah.
It feels great.
I'm really sorry.
Yeah.
Wells is like so mad he has to edit this one.
To be honest with you, I don't know if I'm going to edit any of this.
I don't think you're going to take anything out. One, because I'm going to freaking Toronto tomorrow. And two, what am I has to edit this one. To be honest with you, I don't know if I'm going to edit any of this. I don't think you're going to take anything out.
One, because I'm going to freaking Toronto tomorrow.
And two, what am I going to edit out?
Her talking about getting shots into her vagina?
Hell no.
Or me giggling about how my shave is wrong.
I think one of the things, Bran, at least, that you love about me is that I just say.
She has no filter.
Whatever.
Zero. Whatever I want say whatever. Zero.
Whatever I want to say. Yeah, I'm here for it.
And it gets me in trouble, but it's always out of love.
Always. Yeah.
Wells looks unsure. It's my favorite thing about
myself. You don't know.
Wells. What? Your beanie
is annoying.
Oh my god. Are you doing
this because you're like, I haven't made fun of your clothes
yet today? Actually, also, though, I got you a beanie.
You did? It's at my house. That's really nice.
I should have brought it. I got a good haircut, actually.
Then why are you covering it up? Oh, it is a good haircut.
It's nice. I know, but I washed my hair
yesterday. Can I take a picture? I washed my hair
and so I need like two days
before my hair looks good. What's that called
where the sides are shorter?
I don't know. I've been rocking the same haircut since
like... Smile 1987.
Yes, exactly.
Oh my gosh.
High and tight.
High and tight.
That's what it's called.
The high and tight.
All the East Nashville guys have that haircut.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, bro.
Don't...
See, you're...
See what she did right there?
She said like, oh my God, like...
You live in East Nashville!
I know, but it was like...
It was like, oh,
it's a good haircut.
And then it was like,
everyone thinks
it's such a good haircut.
You had to like
bring me down a peg.
You couldn't let me live
in like happy land
for like the end of the show.
Let's get back to happy.
Okay.
You're going to be real happy
when that vibrator shows up.
Or the next day.
I can't wait to text you guys
and be like,
guys,
it happened.
Yikes.
Like, do you want to text me? Nope. I'm good. I do. I want to know. I want, I wait to text you guys and be like, guys, it happened. Yikes. Like, do you want to text me?
No, I'm good.
I do.
I want to know.
I want, I just, and you can just do like, like, you can just use emojis.
Oh, that's okay.
Like, so like first I want the, the okay, hand okay.
Then the water.
And then the finger, and the finger like that.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
And then the water.
And then the water shoot.
Oh, yeah, that's good too.
And then.
And then the eggplant.
Well, you.
And then there's the, no, no, that's good. And then the water shoots. Oh, yeah, that's good, too. And then the eggplant. And then there's the, no, not only eggplant, then the emoji where the guy's like, ah, drooling.
That's what I want.
Wow.
I'm going to listen back to this.
But only when it happens.
I'm going to give my all into this.
I really am.
It's amazing to me that the greatest thing that I've ever experienced is something that you have never experienced.
I've never experienced it.
God, that is so depressing.
But I've never dated someone who...
Well!
No, but I've never dated someone who cares about it.
Yeah.
Your time will come.
What?
I've never been with someone who's like, I really just want to love you, like pleasure you.
I've just never had that.
I've had guys who are like, yeah, let's just fuck.
Great. Screw those guys, because no.
I just haven't had it yet.
You will.
Or I have guys who literally, I couldn't, like, put their hand in my pants.
They'd be like, oh, God, it's hot.
I stand by the fact that we have to get out of this town if we want to meet men.
Well, I just moved here, but I'm down to move.
We will not meet men in Nashville.
Information that would have been good to know a couple months ago.
I'm not saying we have to move.
I'm saying we have to travel.
I can easily move.
We're going to travel.
I can move anywhere in the world.
Long distance.
Try it out.
I love a long distance relationship.
I didn't mind it, honestly.
Are you mad about yours?
Because I think they're great.
My best relationships have all been long distance.
I don't actually like being around anyone.
I just like to have sex once a week and then go home and watch my Netflix.
Especially if you're laying in bed with someone.
Sorry.
And you want to watch Stranger Things and he doesn't watch Stranger Things.
It's a nightmare.
And then he's like, well, I want to watch Hard Knocks.
And I'm like, oh, I don't want to fucking watch Hard Knocks.
Picking movies with somebody is the worst.
Like, we'll come together once a week to have sex.
And then the rest of the week, like, you do you.
I do me.
And, like, maybe we'll go to dinner or something.
I'm telling you, long distance is not bad.
It's great.
I love it.
I'm all about it.
I don't want to be around the person I date.
All right, so I think our hotspot cities for dating, I think Austin's high on the list.
Well, we can always move in with my parents.
I think Toronto could be high on the list. Well, we can always move in with my parents. I think Toronto could be high on the list.
Going there tomorrow.
I love a Canadian.
Let me know if you find anybody.
There's beautiful girls there, but there's not that many men.
No, I really?
Yeah.
I love Canadian guys.
Yeah?
Except the one that was on The Bachelor.
He was not a good match.
I would not go with that.
Chicago?
I see a lot of hot guys when I go to Chicago.
Problem with Chicago.
Sucks in the winter.
That's true. So we'll go there only in the summer?
Yeah, you got a summer in Chicago.
Okay, summer in Chicago.
To be honest, where I'm going this week, Dallas.
A lot of them? Really?
I went to Dallas a couple weeks ago, and I got off the plane, and I was like, I could see myself marrying each of these men.
No.
Well, let's go.
You're going tomorrow.
I hate you.
We're all just traveling. Are we all leaving tomorrow? Yeah. Well, let's go. I'm going tomorrow. You're going tomorrow. I hate you. We're all just traveling.
Are we all leaving tomorrow?
Yeah.
See you at the airport.
I straight up might just
export this bitch
and put it straight up
onto the internet.
What time is your flight tomorrow?
The car is picking me up
at 3.30.
You have a car?
A.M.
A.M.
Bougie.
Bougie.
Bougie.
Bougie.
Bougie.
Bougie.
Bougie.
Bougie.
Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bachelors pay for it.
You're going to love it.
You're going to have the best time.
They really roll out the red carpet for you.
Clearly, he's got a car.
It's great.
Must be nice.
The hotel is beautiful, and they do your hair and makeup.
I don't do that. The set is great.
Well, they'll do it.
They told me to bring three outfits.
I was like, I have one outfit.
He has one.
They check your outfits.
You have to put on your clothes.
Listen, let me tell you something, Bachelor Canada.
You're getting a fucking leather jacket.
And a beanie.
And a beanie and a cool t-shirt.
That's where we're going.
And cool is up for interpretation.
And I had to go buy a dress because they were like, eh.
No.
Okay, so you're going to Toronto.
I'll be a bitch about that.
You're going to Toronto and then where are you going?
And then I might be going.
I got to go to LA for business. He's got to Toronto and then where are you going? And then I might be going I gotta go to LA for business.
Gotta. He's gotta go to LA.
Gotta go. Business.
Gotta go. Alright, just export this thing. There was nothing too incriminating.
Nah. Nah? Nah. We're good with that?
Yeah. Yeah. Does anyone get mad that I'm calling
this guy, he might be gay?
I think he is. Yeah.
And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
I just wish he wouldn't not date my friend.
But just don't date me and make me feel like I'm ugly just because you don't like vagina.
Totally.
I can say 110% as a man, you are not ugly.
Well, thank you.
I just, now I need to, I just have to have an orgasm.
I'll be okay.
And scene.
And on that note, bye.
Love you guys.
Bye.
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