Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Olivia Caridi

Episode Date: November 1, 2017

This week Wells and Brandi invite Bachelor alum, Olivia Caridi on the show to talk about the girl fight she got into at Brandi's Halloween party. Wells talk about his love for Netflix programming and... buys Olivia a sex toy. Brandi makes fun of Wells...again.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 All right, guys, a lot has changed over the last years, and if you're growing your e-commerce business, yeah, you can relate. Whether you're looking for better efficiency during the hectic holiday season or your business has outgrown your old shipping solutions, you need ShipStation to help you scale your business. ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiency with a robust all-in-one fulfillment system that integrates with over 180 of the most popular e-commerce platforms, marketplaces, and carriers. Listen, the holiday season is right around the corner. Odds are that you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce. If you're shipping, you got to do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches.
Starting point is 00:00:44 It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 89% off UPS, DHL, Express, and USPS rates. What, you don't want to save money? Come on. Deliver a better customer experience with industry-leading features that help you find the best carrier rates,
Starting point is 00:01:00 print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers switch to ship station today go to shipstation.com and use code your favorite thing to sign up for your free 60-day trial that's even more savings that shipstation.com code your favorite thing do it but i don't like like I would rather be in a studio if I can. Well, ob. Ob. Except when I'm at your house and I'm recording in my bed. That was really nice.
Starting point is 00:01:32 It's hot. It was pretty sexy. It got good. I didn't let Wells in the bed. I made him record on the couch. I think that's good though. We need to have boundaries set. For sure. Okay, let's get this out. Boundaries. You want wanna start?
Starting point is 00:01:46 Yeah You're listening to Your Favorite Thing Podcast with Wells and Brandy Hold on though You said something cool last episode That we need to do again You said something I said
Starting point is 00:01:56 Borderline creepy I said boys and girls Everybody And you were like I don't like that And then you were like I was like Oh oh
Starting point is 00:02:02 Bros and hoes Yeah that's it Bros and hoes You're, that's it. Bros and hoes. You're listening to. My new favorite intro. All right, let me start over. Yeah, do it again. Bros and hoes, you're listening to your favorite thing podcast with.
Starting point is 00:02:19 Wells and Brandy. That was good. And special guest Olivia. Hello. Caridi. Hey. In case he doesn't know. That's how you say your last name? That's how you say it Karidi
Starting point is 00:02:28 No one knows how to say my last name Olivia Let's be fair though When you're on The Bachelor Last names do not matter No one has a last name But I feel like you're kind of special If you get like a last initial
Starting point is 00:02:38 I wanted a C Yeah but was there another Olivia on your season? No I was actually the first Olivia ever Really? Yeah and then Olivia Burnett From Nashville? No, I was actually the first Olivia ever. Really? Yeah, and then Olivia Burnett from Nashville. No? I don't know her. She was on Nick's season for one night.
Starting point is 00:02:50 Oh, I don't remember her. I don't know. But Olivia, can I just tell you that no one else has been here from start to finish of an episode. I know. I don't know if I like it. I get to come the whole time. Yeah, I don't know if I like it. You can kick me out at any time.
Starting point is 00:03:01 You're special. It's fine. Normally, we talk for like 30 minutes, and it's like the big tease that people have to like- Stay for- Yeah, like wade through the BS and the minutiae that we do. Do you want me to leave for a little bit? No, you can stay.
Starting point is 00:03:13 What if you sat there in silence for 20 minutes? That would be really hard for me to do. I know it would. But I'll try. You guys go. You guys go. Tish started from the beginning, because she was on the phone with me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:24 In the car. But she tried to be quiet in the beginning. And then she just couldn't stop chirping. And I loved it. I will sit here silently. You guys continue. No, absolutely not. Olivia, have you met her mom?
Starting point is 00:03:34 No. Yes. Yeah. In New York, outside of that tall building. Oh, yeah. That one tall building in New York. Olivia and I shared a taxi from the airport because we're cheap and because it was way more fun.
Starting point is 00:03:43 Yeah. And then she dropped me at SNL and then went her own way. And then I went into SNL, dropped my suitcase, and left with my mom to go shopping or something. And Olivia was standing by. You wouldn't know that I lived in New York for two years because I walked the wrong direction down an entire avenue. With a suitcase. With a suitcase.
Starting point is 00:04:04 And then I realized, oh my gosh, I have to walk all the way the other direction, but then I would also pass you guys. I saw you guys out there and I was like, do I say something or do I just walk past and act like... Had you met her before this? No, but she actually recently liked one of my tweets. She did? She did. That's great.
Starting point is 00:04:20 I took a screenshot of it. Of Tish? Yeah, that's good. I can't remember what it was about. Let's just talk about, real quick, by the way. Like, you and I are really good friends. We do this show. Yeah. We're friends.
Starting point is 00:04:33 Yeah, we're friends. We're acquaintances. Yeah, we are, yeah. Can you get your dad to follow me back on Instagram already? I don't think he runs his Instagram. All right. I don't think he knows how to do it. Can we get your dad to cut his hair?
Starting point is 00:04:43 Yeah, get in line on that train. That's one thing we could do probably before No. No, that's still the king though, right? That's part of the show. Well, that's his excuse. My mom begs him to shave his head. Can't do it. I gotta be...
Starting point is 00:04:59 You don't even know your dad's character's name. Billy. Is it Billy? I'm still the king. Billy the king. I gotta be Vernon. Vernon's got long hair. My dad, though, has a Blackberry still to this day. Like, the same Blackberry he's had for like a decade. With the little rollerball?
Starting point is 00:05:14 Yes. He refuses to change. The little clitori? Do you remember that thing? I'm gonna not tell my dad that. I actually don't. At all. Are we talking?
Starting point is 00:05:23 Never mind. Sorry. I'm so sorry. Anyway, hence, he has no Instagram. Bl we talking? Never mind. Sorry. I'm so sorry. Anyway, hence, he has no Instagram. Blah, blah. Someone runs it. I'll do my best. All right.
Starting point is 00:05:30 I don't care really either way. You do, but it's okay. I totally care. He totally cares. I'm like, I'll go check it every couple of days and be like, I wonder if Billy Ray's following me. He's not. I hope he follows me before he follows me.
Starting point is 00:05:40 Then I'll unfollow him. Then I'll follow him back. That will happen. 100%. Probably already follows you. He probably does. I have to look right now. Do you have a blue checkmark?
Starting point is 00:05:51 Yeah. You do. Of course he does. Okay, I'll just check in. Do you? Duh. Yeah, she's got one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:59 We're so cool, guys. It was easy to get on Twitter, but the other parts, yeah, it was pretty brutal. Mine just magically appeared. Really? Yeah. Oh, man. iHeart had to do mine. iHeart had to be like, uh.
Starting point is 00:06:10 Shout out to iHeart. Yeah, let's give this guy some legitimacy. Well, I applied for one on Facebook. You can apply? Well, you know, like whatever. Like, so please let me have one. Then I woke up the next morning and I had one on Facebook. And I was like, oh, cool, whatever.
Starting point is 00:06:23 That doesn't really, like, affect my life, but whatever. And then my best friend Lexi texted me, you have a blue checkmark on Instagram. It disappeared. Yeah, I don't know how it happened. Really? Magic. It just happened. There's a lot of people that pay for that.
Starting point is 00:06:34 No. I almost did. I almost did. I was that. How much? Like $500. No. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:41 And people hit me up from the show being like, hey, can you get me a check mark? And I'm like, no, I don't know how to do that. You're like, for 500 bucks, I'll get you a check mark. I can't tell you how many people I met that were like, I can do that. Hey, iHeart, gonna need this. You could probably make some good money doing that, actually. You should make that a side job. I know.
Starting point is 00:06:59 Why not? I know, hit up Tom Pullman or Bob Pittman and be like, hey, want to split the profits here? They would probably be like, yes, I'm down. Duh. Done. Into it. Love it. Let's do your favorite things because that's the name of the show.
Starting point is 00:07:13 Yeah. So I told her we're really bad at that, but that she should be slightly prepared. Thank you for the bell. I mean, you know I'm going to say the Halloween party that I hosted that was lit AF. Okay. So Brandy threw a Halloween party this past weekend. I did. It was my favorite party I've had at my house so far.
Starting point is 00:07:30 There were so many freaking people there. It was so great. Was that the best one you've had so far? Oh, hands down. Oh, I'm so excited. The best house party, yeah. Great. I'm so glad.
Starting point is 00:07:38 Can I tell my favorite part of that night? Please, yes. Okay, so I walk in, and right when you walk into Brandy's house, there is a stairwell that goes up to your bedroom. There is. And there are a bunch of people sitting on the stairwell. Everyone's already in costume, and I'm already kind of like that guy with face blindness,
Starting point is 00:07:56 where I'm like, oh, hey, I don't know who the fuck they are. Whatever. So I walk in, and there are these two people in costume dressed like butch trucker dudes. Mullets and fake cigarettes. Slim Jims. Slim Jims, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:14 I found a few of those in the cleanup. They looked like guys that would have Confederate tattoos. You know, like those freaking guys. My mom thought they were Duck Dynasty. She thought that's what they're called. Exactly. Like young Duck Dynasty. Yeah, exactly. Like young Duck Dynasty. Young Duck Dynasty.
Starting point is 00:08:27 So I walk in and they're like, they're in characters. Like, hey, Wells, what's up, yo? What's up, bro? They like knew you. Yeah, and I was like, oh, hey. Oh, my God. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm a hit out. And so I walk away.
Starting point is 00:08:41 Finally, someone comes up to me and goes, oh, my god, is this weird that you're here and she's here too? And I was like, who are you talking about? And they're like, your TV girlfriend, ex-girlfriend's here. I was like, Ashley Iaconetti's here? And they're like, no, JoJo's here. I was like, shut the front door.
Starting point is 00:09:00 Where is JoJo? Come to find out, it was JoJo and Becca sitting on the stairwell. JoJo and Becca absolutely win best dress. They won Halloween for sure. I mean, you looked, everyone looked. I mean, you. Don't even get me started.
Starting point is 00:09:13 It was the most amazing turnout of costumes. It was great, right? Like, no one. Well, I put costumes required on the invite because I wanted people to dress up. Smart. Because it's so much more fun. But, like, not only did people dress up, they, like, they went for it. I know.
Starting point is 00:09:28 So, Becca, they showed up pretty early. And so, this whole party got popping, like, way earlier than I expected. I was popped by 10 people. Yeah. And Becca showed up and her crew, and she walked into my kitchen, and hardly anybody was there. And I'm standing in there with, like, two other girls, and she walks in. I don't recognize her at all.
Starting point is 00:09:42 And she's like, which one of y'all is single? Yeah. And I literally didn't know who she was so I was like, uh, these two. And then she started talking a little more and I was like, Becca! She looked so good. Unrecognizable. I gotta say though, I got mad props for
Starting point is 00:10:00 Becca and JoJo, like two of the prettiest people you'll ever see. That whole group though. She was with a group of like six girls because it was her birthday weekend. She brought them all from LA. And I know a bunch of them. And they're stunning. And for all of them to be able to pull that off. Well, they went from being the hottest chicks that I know to just the ugliest things ever.
Starting point is 00:10:20 But here's what's amazing. Did you see that Becca drew on her leg hair? Yes. It was my favorite part of her outfit. I know. That was great. She drew on her leg hair. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:31 And they all had bought those tennis shoes that really elderly people wear that lift them off 10 feet. But not the new cool New Balance. No. It was like Walmart. Walmart. Walmart New Balance. Someone who was wearing Crocs.
Starting point is 00:10:44 Oh, yeah. I saw the Crocs. It was insane. They, New Bounce. Someone who was wearing Crocs. Oh, yeah. I saw the Crocs. It was insane. They really went for it. And they, I don't know if you saw, I watched her story the next day, and they all dressed up again to go to Cracker Barrel. Yeah. Yes.
Starting point is 00:10:53 Really, really impressed with the commitment level. They went to Cracker Barrel? Yes. I'm just happy they went to Cracker Barrel. I mean, Cracker Barrel is great. I haven't been since I moved here. It's Noah's favorite thing ever, as we know. Cracker Barrel.
Starting point is 00:11:05 Yeah. The chicken dumplings, right? here. It's Noah's favorite thing ever, as we know. Cracker Barrel. Yeah, the chicken dumplings, right? Yeah. That's Noah's jam. That's Noah's favorite dish at Cracker Barrel. My favorite is the chicken fried chicken. It's a real good one. Chicken fried steak. Chicken fried chicken with the gravy.
Starting point is 00:11:18 Hey, man, you know what would make this better? If we fried it again. I might just fry it. It's already fried, but I'm going to fry it again. Fry it one more time. Put some gravy on it and then put some taters on it. Oh my god. You know what my favorite thing about that place is? What? Thank you. The intelligence test. You know that
Starting point is 00:11:32 little thing. Yes, I can't win that thing. Can you? Yes, I know how to do it. It's like the only time I ever look smart. And I can also drop a lot of money there in that little gift shop. Oh yeah. I bought all the stuffed animals. It's all about like if you go like around Christmas time because you're just like, these would be great stuffing stockers.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Stocking stuffers. Stuffing stockers. Oh my gosh. Wait, okay. I don't have a fireplace in my house. I don't know where to hang stockings. Oh yeah. What do I do?
Starting point is 00:11:59 Oh God, that's embarrassing. I mean, it's just me. I don't know why I really care. It's like my one stocking. I know. I'm just going to have my one. Stocking for one, please. I'm going to have my stocking stocker.
Starting point is 00:12:08 I'm going to stock my own stuffing. All right. Quick PSA for those of you out there who rent. If you haven't heard of Bilt, you're about to thank me. Earning points on rent is now a reality when you pay your rent through Bilt. You don't even have to check with your landlord to start earning points that you can use towards flights, hotel stays, fitness classes, and even your next rent payment. All right, let me break it down for you. There's no cost to join Built. And as a member, you'll earn valuable points on rent and your everyday spending. Built points can be transferred to your favorite hotels, airlines, and even the ones you haven't heard of.
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Starting point is 00:13:46 Listen, the holiday season is right around the corner. Odds are that you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce. If you're shipping, you got to do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 89% off UPS, DHL, Express, and USPS rates. What, you don't want to save money? Come on. Deliver a better customer experience with the industry-leading features
Starting point is 00:14:16 that help you find the best carrier rates, print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code your favorite thing to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code your favorite thing. Do it. Oh, that sounded sexual. Do you have a blackboard wall? No. I have a cork wall. You can put it in the cork wall. Cork wall. There you go.
Starting point is 00:14:47 It's in the office. I'm just going to hang stockings in the office. I would. No. I don't like it. What about this? Your TV? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:55 Because you can do the Yule log candle. Oh, and I can hang it from there? You can hang it from right below there. That's not a terrible idea, Wells. I'm not mad at that. All right. Yeah. I'm open to that idea.
Starting point is 00:15:04 Same. Yeah, Wells. I'm not mad at that. All right. I'm open to that idea. Same. Yeah, cool. I feel like you guys are surprised that I came up with a good idea. Yeah, I am, actually. You're just like, holy shit. I'm like, oh, wow. Wells didn't say something stupid. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:15 What? I'm into it. I need to get the Yule Log thing on my TV. Yeah, it's good. It's really romantic. Oh, yeah, it's on Netflix and YouTube. The best one was, you know Nick Offerman from Parks and Rec? You do.
Starting point is 00:15:26 He is... I mean, maybe. Maybe. I'm bad at names. Okay, so anyways, Nick Offerman's hilarious. He's like the kind of... Did you watch Parks and Rec? I have it on in the background.
Starting point is 00:15:38 So, oh my God, who am I talking to? So he's like... I turn it on for my dog. Same! That's literally what I turn on for Feather. It's like my go-to. Oh my God, it's like one of the best shows ever. So I've heard.
Starting point is 00:15:49 I just, I don't like stuff that makes me laugh. I love the guy that's also on... You don't like stuff that makes you laugh? I'm more of like a crier. Oh my God. I'm more of like an action. I'm more of like a this is us kind of girl. Like superhero.
Starting point is 00:16:01 Oh my God. Something. Parenthood. Saying bye-bye self. This is Nick Offerman. Oh,. Oh my God. Parenthood. Saying bye bye self. This is Nick Offerman. Oh, I do know him. I know him. He's actually married
Starting point is 00:16:08 to the woman on Will and Grace that's got the really high voice. You know that chick? Never seen it. You've never seen Will and Grace? I'm too young for that. What is happening?
Starting point is 00:16:17 I'm too much of a millennial. Oh my God. I only watch Riverdale. I don't know what you're talking about. I watched this one show in Riverdale one time. It was really good. Stranger Things.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Anyways, hold on. Just really put a bow on this Nick Offerman thing. He's got a Yule log where he just says, buy a fire, drink scotch, and that's it. I don't drink scotch. I'm a millennial. All right, I'm out. Rose only.
Starting point is 00:16:40 I'm more of like a Giza Tito's. Preferably white girl Rose. Tito's water. I hate this show now. I feel like I've Completely lost track This is my favorite episode We've ever had so far What is my favorite
Starting point is 00:16:50 Favorite episode This is my least favorite Episode Favorite episode ever I'm actually sweating Are you That's a sign of a good episode I know
Starting point is 00:16:58 Is when I start sweating Yeah I mean Oh god Sweat is a good sign Of a lot of things I have Botox in my armpits So if I sweat No
Starting point is 00:17:04 Do you really? Yeah, that's like, whoa. What is that doing? I don't sweat. Is it so you want no wrinkles on your pants? No, I don't sweat. No, it's for no sweat. Literally, I could run a mile, and I'd be like...
Starting point is 00:17:14 Is that healthy? Yeah, but then where does the water go? Where does sweat go? It comes out other places. Oh. My chest. See, no. My chest.
Starting point is 00:17:21 I sweat a lot on my chest. Chest sweat? Like under boob sweat? I sweat in my ears, behind my ears a lot. Really? Yeah, it's like because I cut off these sweat glands, now it goes to like my chest a lot. See, I don't know if I want to jump on board with that. Then don't.
Starting point is 00:17:37 Then don't do it. I tell you, okay, so like I don't want like grundle sweat, you know? I do sweat in the grundle. Yeah, that's a bad. So can I get some Botox to shove up my taint and stop that. I do sweat in the grundle. Yeah, that's a bad. So can I get some Botox to shove up my taint and stop that? You could probably unsweat the grundle. Yeah. Ball sweat is pretty gross.
Starting point is 00:17:53 Their feet? They unsweat their hands. Like you get Botox in your hands. Your scalp. Your scalp. My head sweats a lot. Wow. It's amazing.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Learning so much about Botox. It's really great. What else do you want to know? Yeah. Botox is It's really great. What else do you want to know? Yeah. Botox is my favorite. We got to really dive into this party of yours. Okay. First of all, first of all, who was your favorite costume?
Starting point is 00:18:14 This is tough for me. My friend Karun was Jake from State Farm. Great. That was pretty good. I thought that was really great. It got a lot of- Great. Great.
Starting point is 00:18:22 It got a lot of love. Did you get some Botox in the throat? A lot of love on my Insta. Yeah, he did. As far as the best photograph from the party goes, I set up a photo booth and had a little party hashtag, hashtag bloodbash17 if you guys want to check it out. I thought there was a tie of best photo between Olivia, who was Khaleesi,
Starting point is 00:18:40 and Danielle, who was Dolores. Oh, okay. Both of their photos were phenomenal. I don't know if I saw it. I also didn't use your hashtag when I posted it. Jerk. Actually, no, I didn't post that picture. I didn't use it at first.
Starting point is 00:18:53 She found me. She was like, use the hashtag. Use the hashtag. Okay, sorry. Yeah, here's my thing. I walked into your party early because I knew I was going to come early. But I asked you to come early, yeah. Well, yeah, but I knew that I was going to dedicate myself to getting the photo.
Starting point is 00:19:07 The photo. The photo, like, before it all happened. Yeah, that was smart. Because when I get drunk, my eyes get really messed up. Same, same. I knew, like, once I start drinking, I'd have a gut. One of my eyes is half closed in all of the photos. Yeah, I do, like, a weird, like, I look really aggressive.
Starting point is 00:19:19 And so I just wanted to get it done right away. And I like to post it and do it. You killed it. And it was over. Oh, you posted that night? Yeah. Oh, man. She posted it, like, in the beginning of to post it and do it. And it was over. Oh, you posted that night? Yeah. She posted it in the beginning of the evening. Yeah, it was a good one.
Starting point is 00:19:29 But here's the problem, is I kept taking photos later in the night thinking I'd post them tomorrow. Oh, yeah. And when I looked at them the next day, I'm a mess. I'm a hot mess. So there were some amazing costumes. There were. My other favorite, there was a group of, well, two dudes and a chick who were Migos.
Starting point is 00:19:43 Did you ever see them? No. Oh, great. None of them have any tattoos. They bought these stick-on sleeve tattoos and neck tattoos from Amazon and they killed it. Do you remember when we interviewed Migos and we were terrified of them?
Starting point is 00:19:55 Well, they didn't respond. They came with a puppy and they were so stoned and we were just like, well, let's hope this works out. I'm not kidding. We would ask them questions and there was silence. I have been there so many times and were just like, well, let's hope this works out. I'm not kidding. We would ask them questions, and there was silence. I have been there so many times where I'm like, well, OK. We just talked to Migos about the puppy. That's what we did.
Starting point is 00:20:12 That's all we could say. Well, you have, and you go for it. Because we had to just keep talking. Yep, I've had a couple of those where you're like, so, how's the weather? It was a good interview. It was OK. Whatever. OK, so Danielle's Westworld.
Starting point is 00:20:24 She was great. Great. Yeah, it was fantastic. And your Khaleesi. It was. It was a really last minute thing, so I was so excited. Two Beyonces. Wait, hold on.
Starting point is 00:20:31 Can I tell my favorite story other than the first one? Had to do with JoJo. Got to put freaking Robbie on blast right now. Oh, no. I never saw them interact. I did. I got to be honest with you. Record this. I got to be honest with you. Record this.
Starting point is 00:20:45 I got to be honest with you. Yes, please do. Yeah, get your phone ready. Give up already. I would say that like 75% of the reason why I came to your party was to watch this interaction happen. So you knew about this interaction. Yes. Okay, good.
Starting point is 00:20:56 Because JoJo hit me up and she was like, hey, you going to this party? And I was like, yeah, of course I'm going to this party. And then I hooked Robbie up with like a hotel situation, so I knew he was going to be in town. And I was like, oh my God. I had no idea. Worlds are going to collide. I'm like, JoJo and I are chill, right?
Starting point is 00:21:14 And P.S., Luke was supposed to be there too. So I was like, this is going to be a massive JoJo ex-boyfriend party. I know, and so I was so excited to see that happen. All of it, yeah. All of that happen. So what happened? I never saw Robbie and JoJo interact at all. I didn't either. I'm sitting in the kitchen. We're about
Starting point is 00:21:28 to leave, right? And Robbie rolls in wearing the Hugh Hefner thing. Yeah, yeah. Right? And I was like, any excuse to wear freaking slippers, Robbie? Like, Bob, I know your schtick, alright? You just want to wear slippers. And so he turns to me. He really loves them. He loves those slippers.
Starting point is 00:21:43 He turns to me and he's like, where's my ex-girlfriend? And I was like, you're never going to be able to recognize her. You will not spot her at this entire party. Nowhere. We tried to, I tried to avoid telling him she was going to be there. And this hoe, the night we went out to drinks and she was like, yeah, Brandy, who else is going to be there? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:00 So she was out with you guys the night before him? Yeah, he came out. He met us at Bar Sovereign. Oh. And he, like, I didn't even know what he was doing. We were just trying to figure out, like, what he was doing here. Yeah, like, why he was in town. He's by himself in town, and I guess he, like, had a plan.
Starting point is 00:22:17 He says he did. Yeah. I don't know. Apparently, like, Chase and Jeff with one F and a bunch of people were- And Sheena from Vanderpump, they were all supposed to be here and then they all canceled and so he was here by himself. But he seemed to have a great time. He bought those weekend tickets.
Starting point is 00:22:31 How much did he spend? Some insane amount of money? He said a couple. I tried to get some for him and I couldn't do it. Anyway, so JoJo comes up to me and she was like, hey, Jordan gets in town tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:22:43 So she's giving me a hug and she's like, I really want to go to brunch. We're all going to go to brunch together. And I was like, yes, perfect, great, Jordan gets in town tomorrow. So she's giving me a hug. And she's like, I really want to go to brunch. Like, we're all going to go to brunch together. And I was like, yes, perfect, great, whatever, awesome. And then right there is Robbie sitting next to me. And she just turns to him and she goes, oh, my God, I literally can't even. And puts her hand up and is like, no. I did not see this moment.
Starting point is 00:23:02 I wish I had. Has she not seen Robbie since? I don't think. No, no. We all hung out in Vegas last year for the iHeartFest. And I think it was part like, oh my God, Robbie's here. And also probably a part of I look like a man right now. A straight dude.
Starting point is 00:23:19 I don't think it was her trying to be like, screw you, dude. I think it was more like, dude, I just can't. I always pictured that if I see you, I'm going to look like, screw you, dude. I think it was more like, dude, I just can't. I always pictured that if I see you, I'm going to look like a freaking 10 and I'm going to look amazing. And she looked like a man. Yeah, a literal man. I hardly recognized her. I had no idea.
Starting point is 00:23:37 They walked in and I was like, who are these people? Who are these freaks in my house? But I was also like, damn, I wish I would have thought of that. Yeah, it was good. I know, it was really good. I usually do man costumes or jokes. Was it an exact character or was it just something they made up? Because she kept saying she was Klein with a C. I think they were just, they said they were, I don't know if this is appropriate, but they
Starting point is 00:23:53 kept saying like they're white trash or like they're just like- Hashtag white trash, Duck Dynasty. Got it. Like kind of all over the place. Yeah. From what I think, so. Well, I think we need to tell you our favorite story from the night. Yeah, I heard, need to tell you our favorite story from the night. Yeah, I heard
Starting point is 00:24:07 tell of this. Do you know there was a girl fight? Yeah, so the only reason why I know there was a girl fight, because I must have left. Did I leave? I must have been upstairs. I was gone. I missed the whole thing. All of the people who should have been there to witness this were not there, apparently. Although, when it did occur
Starting point is 00:24:23 between me and this person, I thought everyone was there. Like, it was pretty embarrassing. But I also didn't care, because I felt so proud of myself in the moment. The only reason why I found out is I came to work, and I invited my friend Jackie to your party, and she was like, oh my god.
Starting point is 00:24:40 Was she there? She was there. Did I meet her? Yeah, you met her. She was wearing like a blonde wig on. Gosh, I don't know. I must have been pretty lit. Anyway, she was a part of the fight. No, there were a lot of people a part of this fight. So she was like, where were you for the fight?
Starting point is 00:24:53 And I was like, what are you talking about? She was like, there was a girl fight. And I'm like, push some bitch. And I was like, what? It was real. Yeah, okay. So tell it. So yeah, let's hear it.
Starting point is 00:25:03 Because Olivia was part of the fight. I missed it. Let's hear it. Okay, can I start by saying I'm a pretty peaceful person until you fuck. Can I cuss on this? Yeah. Until you fuck with me or a friend of mine, and then you're in trouble. And so I'm dancing, and I dress like a slut.
Starting point is 00:25:17 I had just gotten dumped, so I was really in the mood to be a slut. But it's Halloween, you're supposed to. And I was a very tasteful slut, but I admitted I was a little bit of a mess. I thought you looked great. And I was just kind of getting in on the dance floor by myself, mind you. And Becca Tilly, who is like the nicest person on this earth. Like you could not even get her to say a mean thing about anyone. This random girl, and you're convinced you know her, but I don't think she knew you.
Starting point is 00:25:41 I'm not going to say her name. She had the worst costume at the party. Oh my God. So like first of all, she's talking shit, but she don't think she knew you. I do know her. I'm not going to say her name. She had the worst costume at the party. Oh my god. So like, first of all, she's talking shit, but she literally dressed so stupid. What was she dressed as? Nothing. She was wearing jeans and a pink tank top and like pigtails. I believe
Starting point is 00:25:55 she wasn't to be Britney. Well, whatever. She looked like shit. Get it. I'm telling it like it is. Tell it. So she starts shitting all over Becca and saying, you look like a lesbian dyke. Okay. Let me just preface by saying, Becca was truly in character. She went all night.
Starting point is 00:26:12 All night. She was going up to all the girls, hitting on girls, grinding on girls. But it was a joke. I agree. It was a joke. I think that's how it started. Becca was probably, quote unquote, hitting on this girl. Becca was grinding on this girl.
Starting point is 00:26:23 And this girl decided that she just wasn't having it. Did not think it was funny. And instead of just saying, like, hey, can, like, eh. Like, no. Or just, like, walk away. I don't know. Like, I would do. She was like, bitch, like, you're a stupid dyke lesbian.
Starting point is 00:26:34 Get off me. And she goes, can you go bug someone somewhere fucking else? And Becca literally, like, you know. I mean, she literally was like, oh, OK. And walked away. But for some reason, Olivia, in her state of just where I was at in the moment, I was not okay with what happened. And so I walked away.
Starting point is 00:26:53 I got a drink. And I was like, what am I going to do here? Because she also told Becca that I was the sluttiest girl at the party. I did hear that. That's insane. Yeah. Which, like, I don't care. Calm me out.
Starting point is 00:27:02 But I don't think you were. I was tasteful. I'm pretty sure everybody, it's Halloween. That's what girls do. Anyway, so I got a drink and I was walking back into the dance floor. And actually my friend Shiva decided to start some kind of shit where she was like, those bitches, they suck. And they heard. Also, Shiva is a title boxing coach.
Starting point is 00:27:22 She has bigger biceps than like my entire body, right? And so these girls heard and they look at me and her and they're like, what the fuck did you just say? And I was like, all right, it's time to step up to the plate. Oh, my God. So I was like, and I was like, okay, well, if you really want to know what our fucking problem is, I'm really sorry. I don't speak like this normally, but I was drunk. And I was like, you talked shit about me and you talked shit about my friend. And they were like, no, we didn't.
Starting point is 00:27:48 And I was like, yeah, you did. I'm not stupid. I heard you talk about us. You called me the sluttiest girl at the party and you called my good friend Becca a dyke lesbian, which first of all, who the fuck says the word dyke anymore? Who says that word? Also, a dyke lesbian is redundant. It is.
Starting point is 00:28:04 A little redundant. But I was just like, who the fuck says that word also a dyke lesbian is redundant it is a little redundant but i was just like who the fuck says that and they were like well we we can't help that like we thought it was funny that she was dressed like a dyke and i was like it's halloween you're literally making fun of a girl for her halloween costume when she it's a joke she's not a lesbian dyke she's a girl who's beautiful who dressed like a boy because your costume sucks and you're just jealous because her costume is ten fucking times better than yours
Starting point is 00:28:29 and mine is too. I started screaming at this girl. And I was, it was my favorite moment. And then I, and then I went on to the moment
Starting point is 00:28:38 where I was like, you don't even know the host of this party. What is her name? You don't even know the host of this party. Then you got a little crazy. But she does know that, like I do know her. But she wasn't? You don't even know the host of this party. Then you got a little crazy. But she does.
Starting point is 00:28:46 I do know her. But she wasn't acting like it. Who goes to someone's party and then makes fun of the guests? Insane. You would never go to my party and call my guests a dyke lesbian. I would never call anyone that ever.
Starting point is 00:28:56 You clearly don't know Brandy if you think that you can come into her home and make fun of her guests. I was like screaming. I was really on one. And then I called them dumbasses. And then some of them ended up outside, right?
Starting point is 00:29:08 No, well, here's what happened. They were just coming at me. And I said, you guys, you bitches need to leave. It was her and her friend. And they were like, you don't tell us what to do. And I point blank looked at both of them. I said, I think I just did. Oh, snap.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Yay. So this blonde chick named Polly Wogg or whatever walks towards the door, and I turn around. Someone's watching Stranger Things. I have, sorry. Oh, yeah. Episode three. So, I walk.
Starting point is 00:29:36 She walks towards the door, and Shiva, my friend, who has bigger biceps than anyone in this room probably. Me included. Wells included. Obviously. This girl, Mary Poppins, rams into Shiva on the way to the door. Okay, but low-key, I think they have beef. They do have beef.
Starting point is 00:29:52 Yes, okay. But she body slams Shiva, and Shiva goes, oh, no, you fucking didn't, and turns around and pushes her into a wall and then pulls her down by the pigtail. Oh, what? And it hurts. At like, pulls her hair. At first, people thought like me and this blonde girl were maybe just like playing around or like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:30:11 And that's when it got real. But then when like the hair was pulled, it was like, whoa. So she pulled her hair down. How is there not a video of this? And all the guys are like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, fuck, fuck. And Shiva's like, get the fuck out of here. Oh my God. So she actually peacefully walked out the door.
Starting point is 00:30:27 That's insane. But then, like, the brunette friend that was with this blonde girl tried to come at me again. And, like, she was like, we need to squash this. Like, there's beef. And I was like, there's no beef. I'm at this party. You're an idiot because your friend sucks. And you're defending your friend who called my friend a lesbian dyke.
Starting point is 00:30:42 Like, the fact that you're defending someone like that is so embarrassing. She called Shiva an Armenian bitch. I think she actually said Arabian is what I heard. Which is so just not accurate. Your Arabian bitch friend is crying. Arabian bitch. I don't know
Starting point is 00:31:00 why she came to the party and decided to make fun of people but I decided to take care of it. Is it really a party if there's not a girl fight? I don't know if she came to the party and decided to make fun of people, but I decided to take care of it. Is it really a party if there's not a girl fight? I don't know if I've ever even been at a party where there was a girl fight. The fact that I missed a girl fight makes me so upset. Well, the funny thing was, when I have heels on, I'm probably like 6'1", 6'2". So this girl was pretty small.
Starting point is 00:31:19 But she's tall, though. She is, but I was the biggest girl there by far just because I was wearing my wedge shoes and stuff. And so she kept trying to come at me. And I thought, okay, if she punches me, that's okay because then I'll just make money and sue her. So go ahead and punch me. But she kept coming close to me and then realizing that I could literally squash her. So she would back off again. Oh, my gosh.
Starting point is 00:31:40 It was one of my favorite moments of all time. Favorite moments. That was an unintentional favorite. I don't know where I was. It was one of my favorite moments of all time. Favorite moments. That was an unintentional favorite. I don't know where I was. I was maybe upstairs. The next morning I went to Brandy's and I thought she would be mad at me for starting a girl fight at her party. I thought it was great.
Starting point is 00:31:53 So I apologized and I was like, I'm really sorry for bringing that kind of stuff into your home. But I was just mad because I feel like- Oh my gosh. Becca also apologized even though it was obviously not Becca's fault in any way, shape, or form. I mean, it just, yeah, like, I was drunk. But I support it. Like, fuck with my friends, and you're done.
Starting point is 00:32:08 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I support it fully. I just can't believe no one videoed it. I can't believe it either. It honestly happened so fast. Like, the hair pull and the push. The hair pull. I needed that.
Starting point is 00:32:19 It was almost like, whoa. Like, I yelled, but that was like holy crap this is actually like pushing people okay so maybe we do need security maybe we do yeah i thought you were gonna have a door he bailed he didn't want to come freaking brandy like hits me up early that day and she's like hey can you give me your guest list yeah i was like guest list what is this you live in woodbine there's just there's been some like not so appropriate comments on my Instagram account and on some of my friends' I don't want to-
Starting point is 00:32:49 About what? I don't want to glorify this person by giving them time on my fucking podcast, but yeah, there's just been some crazy stuff. So I was like, okay, I leave my door open all night. I'm drunk. Anyone can come in. Maybe we should have security. Totally.
Starting point is 00:33:03 It's probably smart. To be fair, it was a pretty star-studded It was a star-studded event. There were so many people who were quote-unquote famous, but no one could tell who anybody was. Nobody could tell. No, I know. It was amazing. I didn't recognize anybody.
Starting point is 00:33:18 When Wells walked in, I was like, wow, that's a really great Eleven costume. She's awesome. He was like, Wells! It was just so funny. I was with security. He bailed. It ended up being fine, although! It was just so funny. No, I was with security. He bailed. It ended up being fine, although it would have been nice to have him for the girl fight. I had it, though. I had it on lock. Yeah, you did. I would have never
Starting point is 00:33:34 gone farther than I needed to go. I just wanted her to leave because I felt like she was bringing down the vibe of the entire party. Yeah, I mean, I missed that and I thought, like, just overall, the party was so great. It was great. Oh my god. After this happened, I literally missed that and I thought, like, just overall, the party was so great. It was great. Oh my god. The crew this year. After this happened, I literally went back and I was just like, oh! Yeah, yeah, and you were living.
Starting point is 00:33:49 I was living the best life I've ever lived. It was so much fun. And it's continued onward. Yeah, we can't stop talking about it, clearly. No, we still talk about it. Can't stop posting photos. Just can't stop. Well, I can't pose any because my eyes were like, rawr! In all of them. But, yeah. It was great. So that's my favorite part of the night.
Starting point is 00:34:05 I was annoyed with the Sam Hunt band that was there. What? I'm going to be honest with you. Why? Those are my friends. I know, but we went in to go take a picture. It was a line to take a picture. How did you even know they were in Sam's band?
Starting point is 00:34:18 Because I work in radio. I know this stuff. How do you know? I don't know. I just know. Don't worry about it. Anyways, I was in line to go and then then it was my turn, and then those guys came and came, and I was like, whoa, no, we're in line.
Starting point is 00:34:33 And luckily, I think it was either Becca or JoJo who was taking our picture, and I think it was JoJo, and she was like, hey, motherfuckers, out. They're first. JoJo knows those guys. I think she's been to a few of Sam's shows before. She kept going up to all of them saying, do you remember? You don't know me, do you?
Starting point is 00:34:52 And they know her fully, and they were like, oh yeah. But they couldn't tell. They couldn't recognize her at all, which was so funny. But I think it was JoJo, because she ended up jumping. I have a group photo of me and the guys and JoJo,
Starting point is 00:35:01 and she's in it, so I do think it was JoJo. She literally looked unreal. I can't get over it. I know. Those guys are sweet. Wait, what unreal. I can't get over it. I know. Those guys are sweet. Wait, what guys? I'm confused.
Starting point is 00:35:09 Who are we talking about? The Sam Hunt band. Sam wasn't there, but his band was there. No, Burke, Ty. Yeah. I don't think they're the best. Listen, I don't think that they're, I don't dislike them. That moment, I was just like, guys, come on. What's the line here?
Starting point is 00:35:20 It's like when you're driving the bigger car, you just cut them off. I know. And you just do your thing. That's what happened. And they're tall. I don't know what to say. They are. Wow. There's like the black guy. Ty, he's like 6'5".
Starting point is 00:35:32 Yes. I was like, because you are such a huge basketball fan. I was like, what Cleveland Cavalier is this? What Cleveland Cavalier? I freaking wish. Honestly, that's exactly what I was like. That's hilarious. That's a Cavalier. Ty, we're going to kick out of that. Oh, I know who what I was like. That's a cavalier.
Starting point is 00:35:45 Ty will get a kick out of that. Oh, I know who you're talking about now. Yeah. Okay. Sorry it took me a while. Just the 6'5 black guy. Yeah, I remember him. How many 6'5 black guys were there that night?
Starting point is 00:35:55 No, I remember him because he was the only person who was tall enough for me to potentially make out with. There you go. Did you make out? I didn't. He didn't make out? Coulda, shoulda, woulda. He flirted with me a little bit. So, Ty's a flirt.
Starting point is 00:36:06 Ty's a flirt. I was busy screwing people up. Speaking of Olivia's status right now, we were just at dinner, and one of my favorite things that has come up about this ex of hers is that she just told me he keeps a diary. Have you ever met a male adult that actually writes handwritten diaries? This is Nashville. Every man in this town. He's not from here.
Starting point is 00:36:31 He's not a musician. There is no way. So have you read his diary? She read it! First of all, time out. Number one, I do not keep a diary. But I do have like a, when I wanted to be Like a musician No this was like
Starting point is 00:36:46 A lyric book You wanted to be a musician Yeah that's why I got into radio Because I was like Well I'm not gonna be good To do this So I can just talk
Starting point is 00:36:53 To these people Okay here's the thing Like I'm all about like Like writing Like write Like if you're like I'm a writer I like to write
Starting point is 00:36:59 I like to whatever Get my thoughts out It's 2017 We have laptops Oh yeah Type it in your notes on your phone. Like, this is what I'm thinking today. Yes, a handwritten journal is just so emo and feminine.
Starting point is 00:37:10 It is a little, yeah. Okay, so he's got a moleskin journal. It was actually like something that you would have at school. Didn't have a lock? Did it have a little lock? It was wide open. It was a Polly Pocket. It was wide open.
Starting point is 00:37:21 Girl went for it. Okay, so you read it. How long were you dating this guy? Just context. Three months. Oh, my God. You went for it. Okay, so you read it. How long did you date this guy? Just context. Three months. Oh my god! Three months? Okay, so he's got a diary. There's so many
Starting point is 00:37:33 problems. We don't have to go into all the problems. Let's just tackle the one issue of a diary. Yeah, yeah. So wait, hold on. No, no, no. We know! We know there's an issue with the diary. That was where it all began and then it just got worse. So that first night when you realized that he had a diary,
Starting point is 00:37:50 was it like, huh, what's that? He told me about it at night and I said, I gotta get in this thing. Yeah, he told you over a glass of wine? Yeah, I like to put my thoughts down. He was talking about how he was going to write or something and then he would wake up really early and leave and I would sleep later.
Starting point is 00:38:06 So I had to write this to myself. In a diary. It was my best bet. I literally just opened it up. That's insane. Is this NYC or is this here? This is here. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:38:13 He just dumped me last week. Can you believe? Did he dump you because you went through his journal? No. Well, I don't know if you want to get into it. I don't know why. No, okay, hold on. I just want to know what he wrote about.
Starting point is 00:38:22 It's insane. Give me like one passage. Well, he wrote that he was going on a date. Yeah, with you. Literally was writing about Olivia. Yeah, that's nice. But he goes, it's not just any girl. It's a girl from The Bachelor.
Starting point is 00:38:33 Yeah, well, that's fair. No! That's fair. For me, like such a turn off. Such a turn off. I know, but that's fair for him to be like. No, for me, the red flag, which I had heard multiple times before this so this was a mistake on my part to continue
Starting point is 00:38:47 on but he literally wrote I asked a girl out for the first time ever. Oh wow. Is he like really good looking? Yeah. He's hot. He's hot. Which is like so he thinks that like Yeah he's never had to work for anything his entire life. And so the minute that I
Starting point is 00:39:03 that I like bother him that he's not giving me enough, he's like, nope, I can't do this. I have to leave. I can't be here. And that's what happened. I was like, wait, I'm a fucking queen and you're a queen. Oh, my God. Yes!
Starting point is 00:39:16 Yes, queen! Yes! And I was like, you don't treat me like I'm a queen. And he was like, oh, I can't do this. I have to go. Bye! In the middle of the night. So it's fine. But it was at your place? It was at my place, I can't do this. I have to go. Bye. In the middle of the night.
Starting point is 00:39:25 So it's fine. Was it? But it was at your place? It was at my place. So at least I got to go back to sleep. I think you should have just been like, that's fine. I don't date losers who keep diaries. And slammed the door in his face.
Starting point is 00:39:35 Honestly, I forgot about the diary. But I just kept a running list of all the things where I was like, this is not right. Where did diary keeping land on that list? Well, it was like three. So there were two other things that were more fucked up than the guy keeping it. What were they? Or do you not want to put them on blast? No, the first one was for- He'll never listen to this podcast.
Starting point is 00:39:55 This is a very popular podcast, guys. We were dating for three months. Tens of people listen to this. Number 175 on the top podcast list. Mine's like 250, so it's fine. It's great. Are we? Is that where we are? 175? I don't know. I made it up. I made it up, so it's fine. It's great. Are we? Is that where we are?
Starting point is 00:40:05 175? I don't know. I made it up. I made it up, too. I don't know. Probably, like, at least number nine. Let's look. No, he.
Starting point is 00:40:11 No, don't. That'll make me look the best. He, uh, we dated for three months, and he never made out with me. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let alone, like, felt my boob. Yeah. Oh, so there was just no. Not even just one boob.
Starting point is 00:40:23 Like, no, like, there was no, like, he didn't even, like, graze my nipple on accident. Oh, so there was just not even just one boob. No, like there was no like you didn't even like graze my nipple on accident. Like it was like pause. This leads us perfectly into a segment that I was going to call hashtag Ask Wells. Okay. Where we ask you advice. Okay, so this is great. This is perfect. Continue. So if a guy proceeds to date me
Starting point is 00:40:39 for three months without making out with me and or feeling my vagina and he claims that it's because he's been three months without making out with me and or feeling my vagina. And he claims that it's because he's been a huge dick in the past and he just wants to like be a better man. Like that's bullshit, right? He wants to find a better man. That's what I said.
Starting point is 00:40:59 I said he is. I'm sorry, Olivia, you are really hot. That's what I'm saying. It would be very hard to not make out with you. There was a day where I... We slept together at least 25, 30 times. Like literally slept together. Slept.
Starting point is 00:41:11 Literally just sleeping. Where I would take my shirt off, and I have fake tits. They're perfect. They look great. Saw them today. They're fabulous. I'm not wearing a bra, and they're still up and perfect. They look great.
Starting point is 00:41:20 So this is the one thing I have going in my life. The one thing. Well, and I'm pissed. Can I talk about my vagina too? Can I talk about sweating? I'm just going to talk about my vagina. Sweating is good. So I usually wax.
Starting point is 00:41:33 Sweating is good. I usually wax. Yeah. I kept thinking that like, oh, this is the day that we're going to, he's going to feel my vagina. I'm sweating. And so I kept shaving and like, you know, like shaving your vagina is really bad. It's awful. It's really hard.
Starting point is 00:41:50 It's the worst. He kept not touching my vagina and I kept getting really mad. I kept wasting my wax because of it. Because I kept, like now I have to get a I have to let it, like, you know. Let it grow back out. There's a whole thing. He dumped me so now I have to get away I have to let it like you know let it grow back out
Starting point is 00:42:06 let it grow out there's a whole thing he dumped me so now I have to grow it out but um yeah yeah yeah and now you gotta
Starting point is 00:42:11 time your next hook up with my vagina yes that's tough now I'm just really upset because I dated someone for so long and I kept thinking like
Starting point is 00:42:18 okay like I get the whole like being a good man thing but there's a difference like I wasn't saying I need you to have sex with me that wasn't what I was saying I was literally saying can you like grab my face and stick your tongue in my ear or something like anything anything nothing nothing I think he's either he likes men which is fine just let's own it my issue was like look I I am
Starting point is 00:42:43 a little crazy and I've got my own shit going on. But like, I am attractive-ish. You know, like I literally told her earlier, she's like Scarlett Johansson. She's like super sexy. No, you know, do you remember what I told you in New York? And you had no idea who I was talking about. Who were you talking about? Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:43:01 No, it was a compliment. I was like, you've always reminded me of Michelle Pfeiffer. And you're like, I don't know who that is. I'm in that all the time, but I don't even know who that is. What lies beneath? What? One of my favorite movies.
Starting point is 00:43:10 Grease 2. Oh, eh. I never saw. I always just, people always tell me it's either Cameron Diaz or, who's the girl from Grease? Olivia Newton-John. All right. But anyway, look, regardless, it started affecting my psyche, and that's when I'm like, look.
Starting point is 00:43:24 You're like, uh-uh. So I brought it up, and he realized,, oh my God, this girl has opinions. This is not good. So then he dumped me. Okay, I either think, okay, maybe he's gay, whatever. My option, too, was if he's not getting it from you, he's getting it somewhere else? He didn't have time. Wells, what are your thoughts?
Starting point is 00:43:41 The whole excuse of I'm not not ready I can't give you what you need that's bullshit yeah that's like I don't want to get into a relationship because I'm focusing
Starting point is 00:43:50 on my career that's literally what he said work is so crazy right now I have so many priorities and I just hate that you treat me so well but that I'm half-assing what we have
Starting point is 00:43:59 no so that's BS the career thing is always BS the side piece is also BS because if you've got a side piece, well, then you also should be hooking up with the main piece and then the side piece. My thing was at least try to get some before you dump me.
Starting point is 00:44:15 What a weirdo. Did you ever grab his hand and was like, vagina, right here. As a girl, you do not want to be that person. The first time, I love initiating. I love sex. I think it's great. But I don't want to initiate the first time. No.
Starting point is 00:44:31 And especially, I'm not going to initiate sex with you if you haven't even pushed me against a wall and sucked my face off. No. That's just weird. You can't go from pecking to I'm going to suck your... So it was only pecking? That was it. Can you handle? They spent so much time together.
Starting point is 00:44:47 So much time together. Were you ever just like, dude, are you going to make out with me or what? I did in bed and then he literally put his clothes on and broke up with me. Literally. Okay. I think there's some deeper seated issues with this poor man. There has to be. All right.
Starting point is 00:44:59 Well, I even told him I got the orgasm shot. What is that? So we know about this? There are so many shots I don't know about. Is this Botox like in the clitoris? It is. So I get blood taken out of my arm and mixed with like, I don't know, like hormones or something, whatever gets you off. And half of it is injected into my clit and half of it is injected into my clitoris.
Starting point is 00:45:21 Are you dying right now? This is not real life. Yes, it is. She did this. And so I have like a mound of a G-spot and like my clit is like more... And I literally told him this thinking... I literally told him,
Starting point is 00:45:32 when I have an orgasm... Well, if your girlfriend told you this, what would your reaction be? Babe, when I have an orgasm, I will punch a hole in the roof. Okay. Wouldn't you want to like challenge that? What is your response to that, Wells?
Starting point is 00:45:44 I think I would want to be like, all right, let's see what we got going on down here. Exactly! It's almost like it got worse! You told him that? You were like, I have a giant G-spot now. In New York, I was like,
Starting point is 00:45:54 hey, I'm here, I'm recording some shows, and I'm getting an O-shot. He was like, whoa, that's cool. And I was like, yeah. When I get an orgasm, it's going to rock.
Starting point is 00:46:04 Can we send this guy a bill for the wax and the O-shot? I'm not kidding. My vagina is a mess right now. So is my psyche. It's weird. It's not. You're living your best life.
Starting point is 00:46:16 I am. Life is good. The first couple days, I was taking walks in forests and stuff and crying. 2018 is going to be the year for Olivia. I thought 2017 was. No, screw it. I just the year for Olivia. It is. I thought 2017 was. No, screw it.
Starting point is 00:46:26 I just don't understand why. This is a question for another man. You have any questions, please. Mine are really stupid. Why do men pursue you when they know full well they're not down to be in a relationship? Why? Like, do they just want to go on dates? Like, what's the deal?
Starting point is 00:46:43 If you're not ready for a relationship, then don't fucking message me. Okay, especially if you're not going to bang. Especially if I'm not getting a wiener out of it. That's the one thing, right? Like, I can see it. Guys just want to have sex. Great. It's the only thing on their mind.
Starting point is 00:46:53 Great. This guy doesn't want to do that. At 25, I'm hornier than I've ever been. So I literally will have sex with anyone. You guys are asking me a question and then, like, not letting me answer it. Wells, answer. Please. Well, okay, so go back to the original.
Starting point is 00:47:07 The whole concept for me, which I was annoyed. Wells still can't talk. Wells, I was annoyed because he pursued me very, very hard. And then all of a sudden, he, like, one night in bed is like, you know what, I'm not ready for this. I can't do a relationship. I've never been ready. So my thing, as he's walking out the door was like then why the fuck did you message me in the first place yeah and why did last week you were like i want to
Starting point is 00:47:33 meet your mom and your grandma and your dad like he literally at the hockey game two hours before he dumped me was like hey next month we're gonna get tickets like front row for my birthday all right but then i bring up the fact that you haven't sucked my face, and you're like, just kidding, I can't do this. Maybe he was just like, I want to be close to the hockey players. I think you're right. I think you're leaning towards the fact that he just wanted a male. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:56 That's what I think. Okay, so great. I've dated a gay man. That's awesome. I mean, I think a lot of women have. Yeah. I've dated a few, debatably. Haven't we all, Wells?
Starting point is 00:48:03 I have. Wells hasn't. I haven't. I've dated a few, debatably. Haven't we all, Wells? I haven't. You do, Wells hasn't. I haven't. But I want to answer your question, the question that you originally posed. Yes, please. Which was about, like, why do you even message someone if you're not ready to get into a relationship? Exactly. Okay, I think that guys think that the way to get laid is to go on dates and start dating somebody.
Starting point is 00:48:25 That's what I'm saying, but this guy didn't even want to do that. I know. Like this guy's an oddity. Like I don't even know where to start with that guy. I don't know what's happening. Yeah. We need to put him
Starting point is 00:48:32 on a shelf over here. I mean, and I talked to you about this and we're both kind of emotionally stunted and I think we're both going to end up just dating each other.
Starting point is 00:48:40 I'm just going to be alone. It was something where I've just never, I talked to my girlfriends about this. I talked to my mom and everyone was just like, I don't know. Yeah. What did your mom say? Her mom, you know Olivia's mom.
Starting point is 00:48:53 You know her. You met her at Bar Taco. My mom is, she's, you know, well she just, she didn't like him from the get go. Moms always know. They do. And we had dinner. He set up a dinner with her and she she, right afterwards, goes, no. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:07 Really? Yeah. Honestly, I wish I learned my lesson. When my mom says, uh-uh, it's just time to break up. My best friend Lexi and my mom are the guy before him that I dated. Lexi met him, talked to him for 10 seconds, and goes, no. Yeah. God.
Starting point is 00:49:21 Because it's true. The people closest to you really have They have a They know me Like my Sixth sense about it My mom knows me And knows Like I'm such a freaking lover That literally every guy I meet I'm like he's my husband
Starting point is 00:49:31 Every time Literally every time Really Yes That's how I am Oh my gosh I'm such a lover And I want to see like
Starting point is 00:49:36 The best in everyone Hence why I give people chances Longer than I think they deserve Yeah you did do that this time Like I gave him Two months longer Yeah yeah yeah And like many miles And a lot of gas.
Starting point is 00:49:46 You did. Drove to Murfreesboro every day. That's what I meant. He lived in Murfreesboro? Yeah. That was your first clue. Hey, my horse lives there. That's where horses live.
Starting point is 00:49:58 Not people. Actually, Wells, I have a question for you, too. There was like a white supremacist rally there. The first question that my mom asked my ex and Luke Pell when we had a podcast together was, my mom likes farts and stuff. So she was like, and stuff. Farts and stuff. So she was like, well, how long is it okay until a girl farts in front of you?
Starting point is 00:50:19 Yeah. Yeah, that's a valid, yeah, Wells. Okay, so hold on. Tongue. Or would you rather us fart loud and not smell or fart quiet and smell? That's an obvious answer. Okay, loud and not smell. Really?
Starting point is 00:50:31 Obviously, yes. Yes, 100%. So you'd rather me do it and I'd be like, oops, sorry, but it's okay. Yeah, but I'd also need you to like die laughing. I laugh. So like that I can like get in on the joke with you, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm also that guy
Starting point is 00:50:46 that like never farts in front of anybody you don't? but I that shocks me you've never farted in front of anyone? I mean I
Starting point is 00:50:52 like once you start dating someone long enough like you just can't hide it but I'm a guy that will never fart in front of you but I will let you know that I'm going on a fart walk no
Starting point is 00:51:00 so you'll say yeah I'll be like I'm going on a fart walk that's my new favorite term I'm going to go over here now and so oh so I I'll be like, I gotta go to the fart walk. That's my new favorite term. I'm gonna go over here now. I let it be known that I'm being a gentleman. Oh, is that what you're being? Yeah, being a gentleman. I get that though. I'll be like, hey,
Starting point is 00:51:13 I gotta fart. I'm gonna go in the hallway really quick. That is insane. Or I'll go pee and fart in the toilet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Turn the sink on. I also have like, I have like my half bath. Oh yeah. When the sink on. I also have like, I have like my half bath. Oh, yeah. When people are over, that's where we go take poos.
Starting point is 00:51:29 Gotcha. All right? Main bathroom, pee-pees. Half bath, that's where we're just unloading. Next time we go to Wells. I think, like, if I ever move in with a man, which I once again won't think, I don't think I'll ever meet a man. It's not in the cards.
Starting point is 00:51:41 But if it does happen, we have to have our own bathrooms. Yeah. Really? That is absolutely 100%. Or just like two different toilet stalls. Or a full bathroom. There you go. My parents have that. And then a half bath. Or a half bath. Or a toilet
Starting point is 00:51:53 that has a door on it. Yeah. You know? That's what I want. I want two toilets. It's like my toilet and her toilet. And then we can have like a his and hers mirror thing. That's fine. But we don't talk about what happens in our toilet. And then we can have his and hers mirror thing. That's fine. But we don't talk about what happens in our toilet. That's what it is.
Starting point is 00:52:10 I don't really think I care that much. Is that why I'm single? I've had some real bad nights at Hattie B's and that things just shouldn't, people shouldn't know that that could happen to a human.
Starting point is 00:52:24 I just hate going on dates in general because after dates I always have issues. and that like things just shouldn't, like people shouldn't know that that could happen to a human. I just hate going on dates in general because like after dates, like I always have issues, you know? And so like when you go to dinner on a date, like I'd rather go for a walk in like the woods or something and we can like talk or something. But I don't want to eat
Starting point is 00:52:38 because then I guarantee you have to fart afterwards. What's the most romantic date you've ever been on? TV excluded. Well, I never went on a romantic date on TV. Honestly, I can't think of one. Olivia! The Predators game? No? Like, literally, I told
Starting point is 00:52:57 this story on my podcast, but my college boyfriend who I dated for three years, for Valentine's Day, he took me to Raising Cane's. What's that? It's like a fast food restaurant. Oh. And bought me a t-shirt at Cane's. No. And that's why we broke up. Because I was like, are you fucking
Starting point is 00:53:13 kidding me? He said, close your eyes. And I thought he was going to like hand me a ring or something, you know? No, just kidding. Like a kiss? Like a kiss or something. Like a kiss. Because apparently that's really hard to come by lately. But yeah. He literally said, close your eyes, and went to the counter and bought me a Raising Cane's t-shirt so I looked like a fucking employee. That's insane.
Starting point is 00:53:33 And then was he like, go get me a soda? And I bought him a movie that I wanted to watch with him, which was really very not good on my end either. But other than that, I have not been. But I don't like romantic dates. I don't really either. Is that weird? I don't end either. But other than that, I've not been... But I don't like romantic dates. I don't really either. Is that weird? I don't really either. I don't know. You know me. I'm like, basketball game.
Starting point is 00:53:52 I guess that's whatever your definition of romantic... The question was, what's the most romantic date you've been on? Not like you have to go to fucking France and sit underneath the moonlight. For me, the last guy I was dating, we had really fun dates. He put a lot of effort into going to the Predators game
Starting point is 00:54:09 and we had great seats and we got beers and pizza. That's fun to me. That sounds cute. Plus, hockey is a great date because you're cold. That's true. Oh, yes. Wells is taking notes. I am taking notes.
Starting point is 00:54:23 I'll give you some love. I love hockey dates because you're automatically going to be cold. So there's a reason to see. You can also see how cuddly he is if he's going to put his hand on your leg to keep you warm or offer you his jacket. I like ice cream dates. All right. Yeah, going for ice cream. I mean, there's a lot of licking.
Starting point is 00:54:42 A lot of phallic shapes. I like it. I'm really glad everyone knows about my vagina. We're kind of like... Do you talk about your vagina on your podcast? I talk about so many things
Starting point is 00:54:54 I should talk about. Have you listened to Olivia's podcast? It's so good. Have you listened to the episode where I admit I've never had an orgasm? You haven't? No. You're getting shots
Starting point is 00:55:01 straight into your clitoride. That's why she got it. That's why I got it. That's why I got it. Damn, girl. Yeah. Let me tell you something. This last guy aside. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:10 That would fuck with my mind. Yeah. If I couldn't get my girl off. Really? Yes. I totally understand that, which is why I was like, I don't think men, half of them, at least all of the men I've ever slept with, don't even know what an orgasm is. They wouldn't even know whether I had one or not.
Starting point is 00:55:27 Well, that's, I mean, the fact that we can fake it so easily and get away with it is like- I mean, I always, after I think that I've given someone an orgasm, I say, did you have an orgasm? See, I've never, like, at least the men that I've- And if they say, if they say, if they say like, not yet, I go, okay, well, I've got to go back down south. Back down south.
Starting point is 00:55:44 Got to figure this thing out. That's fair. Most guys ask. They think if I'm, like, screaming that that's me having an orgasm. Oh. Usually, for all the women out there, if you are having an orgasm, yell out that you are coming. Orgasm!
Starting point is 00:55:57 Oh my gosh. What? Well. What's wrong with that? A little cheesy, but okay. I understand how it messes with a man's psyche, hence why I was also putting in effort to make it easier because I want to have one just as much as I want the person that I'm with to give me one.
Starting point is 00:56:13 Yeah, but if you're faking it all the time, then he can't put in the effort. Totally. But hold on. Have you had one? I don't masturbate. Okay, well, you've got to start working on that. I told her Amazon Prime something immediately. I told my friend to prime me a vibrator because I won't actively go on Prime and buy one.
Starting point is 00:56:29 She even tweeted, which one should I get for, apparently, are you gonna prime me a vibrator? I'm gonna video this. I'll vidmo you. I'll vidmo you. I mean, how much are vibrators? They're not a lot. But then, what do you do? Like, what, do you turn the lights off, and you just start?
Starting point is 00:56:42 I think it's different for everybody, really. You gotta explore your body. Mom, actually. What are you doing right now, Wells? I'm buying Olivia a vibrator right now. I didn't even know until last week that girls have a separate hole that they pee out of. Are you kidding me? I thought I peed out of my hole that you also put your wiener in.
Starting point is 00:56:59 Olivia. I'm telling you. There's a lot wrong with that statement. Okay, hold on though. Did you go to school? As the son of a gynecologist. Oh, yeah. There's a lot wrong with that statement. Okay, hold on though. Did you go to school? As the son of a gynecologist. Oh, yeah. Did you know?
Starting point is 00:57:07 Your mom was a gynecologist? Dad is a gynecologist. We called him once on the show. Can we call him and I can- He was very cranky last time. Yeah, he's- Okay, then maybe we shouldn't call him. Okay, hold on.
Starting point is 00:57:18 So you got vibrating toy for men, so your ex could get one of these. Vibrating toy for adult, vibrating ring, vibrating egg, vibrating panties. I don't want an egg. Vibrating toy for men, so your ex could get one of these. Vibrating toy for adult. Vibrating ring. Vibrating egg. Vibrating panties. I don't want an egg. Vibrating jeans. I want like a semi. Honestly.
Starting point is 00:57:30 Oh, wait. Lexi. Something like a pocket rocket, but a little bigger. Hold on. Lexi sent me the names of, oh, I keep saying Lexi. Sorry, no one knows who she is. It's fun. My best friend keeps, she tweeted something.
Starting point is 00:57:40 There's two options. You want me to read them to you? Yeah. Is this going to arrive at your house or? I'll come pick it up. Vibrate toys for adults. Oh my gosh. Well, this looks nice.
Starting point is 00:57:53 This looks like a nice one. The Jesse Wave Vibrate Toy. The Jesse Wave. It looks like it's got like a remote control. I can't take too many arms. I don't know. I don't know. The egg ones aren't great. Okay, so, Brandi,
Starting point is 00:58:08 you pick it out and then I'll pay for it. There's a Feeho or a Wow Yes, and everyone said that I need a Wow Yes. Why? Okay, so, yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:19 Here's the Feeho. Okay. That looks very big. Let me see that. That looks kind of like what I just showed her. Okay, yeah. Uh-huh. Okay. That looks very big. Let me see that. That looks kind of like what I just showed her. Okay, yeah. Or there's the wow-yes. But see, that looks scary that there's like a vagina and a butthole.
Starting point is 00:58:33 I don't think that's what it is. I think the smaller one is for your clitoris. That's what she needs. That's a good little starter. Thank you. That's kind of like the yow-wes. Wow-yes. Yow-wes. It's pink of like the Yow-Wes. It's pink.
Starting point is 00:58:49 I love pink. I'm adding it to the cart. The fact that Wells is buying you a vibrator is everything. I owe Wells literally for the rest of my life. No, you just owe me $19.95. That's a great price. I'll give you $19.95. Okay, hold on. Brian, when was the last time that you had an orgasm?
Starting point is 00:59:05 Oh, it's been a while. How long? Oh, God. Are we both that bad? Two years, maybe? You haven't had an orgasm in two years? Yeah, I haven't done anything except a mild hookup at South by Southwest since my last boyfriend. I know.
Starting point is 00:59:21 I'm the worst. We're going out. I'm busy. I know, but we're going out one night, and we're going to just be- I can't just hook up with somebody ugly. It's just not in me. I know. I'm the worst. We're going out. I'm busy. I know, but we're going out one night and we're gonna just be I can't just hook up with somebody ugly. It's just not in me. I can't do it. Yeah, I get that. Put in your information. Okay, you guys talk while I'm
Starting point is 00:59:33 entering my name. Should we talk about favorite things? Have we done that at all? Not at all. But this whole podcast has been one of my favorite things. Okay, hold on. I really, okay, one of my favorite things right now, I think obviously I like Stranger Things. Just finished it. I really, okay, one of my favorite things right now, I think obviously I like Stranger Things. Just finished it.
Starting point is 00:59:49 I haven't finished it. Finished it. Okay, hold on. A couple thoughts on Stranger Things. Stop with the voice. Don't do that. Okay, so the first season, Will's in the Upside Down line, right? And so you don't really get a whole lot of,
Starting point is 01:00:04 you just don't even know what kind of actor this kid is. No Will, yep. And the second season, you realize holy shit, man, he's the best actor in the whole thing and they didn't even use him in season one. But I think they probably cast him knowing they would use that in season two. He's 14.
Starting point is 01:00:18 14 years, and dude, I looked at his Instagram. Do you know what it says? No. It's like, it's like avid traveler. No. It's like, it's like, uh, avid traveler. No. Search. It's like, search for the places where the Wi-Fi's the worst. No.
Starting point is 01:00:29 And I was like, who is this little Dalai Lama? That's the kind of kid I want. I swear to God. I messaged Gaten. I don't know. I don't know anyone's name. He's Dustin. The guy who posts all the selfies that he takes with his fans.
Starting point is 01:00:42 Yeah, yeah. And he messaged me back, and he was like, I would love to interview with you one day, but I'm so busy right now. And they are like all, I would, they're like the definition of what child actors should be. They're so precious. Wait, I want to make this a gift, this vibrator, and have a funny message that goes along with it. Oh, cute. Oh, no, I'm very scared.
Starting point is 01:01:01 Yeah, Olivia. You're the king of funny, so. Yeah. I don't know if I should say what I want to do out loud. Oh, just do it. Make it a secret. Just do what you want. And yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:11 Is this like prime? Is this going to arrive tomorrow so I can have my first orgasm tomorrow night? And like by the time that this, oh my God, your face right there. Sorry. Is that your O face? We don't even know what your O face is. She doesn't even know. I mean, I imagine it's what it always is.
Starting point is 01:01:24 Yeah, just a giant mouth. Just my mouth wide open. Probably, honestly. And my eyes probably roll into the back of my head, and I'm like a psychopath. That's the best. That's when you know. Do you like it when girls make really kind of weird faces during sex? That way, because then he knows.
Starting point is 01:01:40 I'm obviously big into affirmation. I need to know that I'm doing a good job. I'm a people pleaser. You're like the words of affirmation kind of guy. Yeah, so like screams of affirmation. What? Orgasm! Orgasm!
Starting point is 01:01:57 Can we talk for like three hours? Is that okay? How long have we been talking? One hour. That's pretty good. We probably should wrap up soon. Hold on. A little more about Stranger Things. And then I good. We probably should wrap up soon. No. Hold on. A little more about Stranger Things.
Starting point is 01:02:07 And then I want to go into my other thing that I really like a lot. Okay. Dustin's character in this season is written so funny. Yep. It's funny. They've done a really good job of developing his character. They obviously realize, oh shit, this kid's funny. Let's start writing for him.
Starting point is 01:02:20 Yep. Loved him. Nancy's scene where she gets wasted. Oh yeah. What do you think about that? I really like it. You liked it? I was like, oh, it's a good scene.
Starting point is 01:02:29 I thought it was a really good scene. I thought her acting was absolutely terrible in that scene. Do you know, like, everyone on that show is British? No. Yeah. It's so annoying. You know who I really love this year? And, Wells, when you finish, you're going to love him even more.
Starting point is 01:02:42 Steve. Oh, with the hair. Steve with the hair. Got gray hair. He got a really good edit this season. Did he? Oh. He's going to be really big in season three, I feel it.
Starting point is 01:02:53 Really? Yeah. Okay, I thought, you haven't seen the end though. You know who's hot as shit too, and I don't know why he was a character, but Billy. Is he the guy that drives around the firebird with the mullet? Yeah, he's hot. Oh, I didn't think he was that hot. I thought he was very feminine looking.
Starting point is 01:03:05 Yeah, I'm only on episode three, but I was like, I think this guy's gay. Yeah, I thought so, and I thought too. So don't ruin it for me, because I have a feeling that there's- No, they don't do the gay route this season. Oh, they don't? No, they don't. But did you guys get that feeling too? They're like, what's a little feminine?
Starting point is 01:03:18 Yes, I thought he was very feminine. Okay. Yeah, I did. What else did I- Okay, but the way the season- I really like- Okay, first, I was like, I think that Samwise Gamgee, or Sean Austin- See, I don't know anyone's-
Starting point is 01:03:28 I just know them by their names. Okay, so he was in Frodo, or he was in Lord of the Rings. Who? And he was Rudy. Who was? It's- What's her name? The mom's new boyfriend.
Starting point is 01:03:38 Oh, Bill. Bob. Bob. Yes, Bob. Bob. That's who that is! I love Bob! I kept wondering how I knew him.
Starting point is 01:03:46 Oh my God. So at first I was like- He's Sam in Lord of the Rings? Yes. And he's also Rudy. Oh my God. I love Bob. He's got, he's, he's-
Starting point is 01:03:54 Bob is literally the guy I need to date, but I never go after him. But Bob, man. God, Bob. So at first I was like, is Bob a bad guy? Oh wait, that's valid. You finished, right? Oh yeah. So I was like, okay, so you guys have seen it. that's valid. You finished, right? So you guys have
Starting point is 01:04:06 seen it. I haven't finished it. Here are all my theories. Can you freaking finish it already? I know, sorry. You have a flight tomorrow, right? Get on it. Yeah, I actually am. That's what I'm going to do. First I was like, I think Sam's going to Bob's going to be a bad guy. And then I was like, no. Bob's a good guy. Like him a lot. The two new characters, the mullet guy
Starting point is 01:04:22 and the red-headed girl. Max. I was like, there's something going on here, because I'm not sure if they're brother or sister. I agree. Something's happening. Not loving it. Ba-da-ba-ba. Oh my god. Hashtag not an ad. Not an ad.
Starting point is 01:04:37 Sponsored. So anyways, I really like that show. The other one that I really, really love is Manhunt. You guys seen that? No. Okay, so you know the guy from Avatar? Yes. Main character from Avatar.
Starting point is 01:04:49 Sam Worthington? Yes. Wait, he's one of the hottest guys that's ever walked the face of the earth. Okay, so he's the main character in this- He is? In this series that's all about the Unabomber. Wait, I'm going home to watch this immediately. So he's the detective that cracks the case on the Unabomber. Where, I'm going home to watch this immediately. So he's the detective that like cracks
Starting point is 01:05:06 the case on the Unabomber. Where can I watch this? Netflix. Okay, question. How do you watch Netflix on a plane? You download it to your phone. How do you download it on Netflix? So you have it on your phone? No. Okay, well you download Netflix to your phone or your tablet or whatever.
Starting point is 01:05:21 Can I get it on my laptop? No, you don't need the service. I want it on my laptop. Let me fucking tell you how to do it! Poor Wells has not gotten a word in. This is your favorite thing podcast with Brandy and Olivia. I'm co-hosting this week. Oh, God, I lost my podcast in my own studio.
Starting point is 01:05:41 Yep. So you gotta get on your phone and your tablet. I assume you can download the app to your computer as well. That's what I want. Okay. Then you go to my downloads and usually it's only like Netflix originals or like a certain number of movies. Then you can download those ones
Starting point is 01:05:56 and then watch them whenever without Wi-Fi. I need it on my laptop. I don't like watching things on my phone. You don't? It's so small. Yeah, it doesn't bother me anymore. I hate it. My favorite thing is you guys. Oh, that's sweet.
Starting point is 01:06:10 That's nice. I mean, this feels like my favorite episode we've had. I'm not going to lie. Really? Yeah. It feels great. I'm really sorry. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:18 Wells is like so mad he has to edit this one. To be honest with you, I don't know if I'm going to edit any of this. I don't think you're going to take anything out. One, because I'm going to freaking Toronto tomorrow. And two, what am I has to edit this one. To be honest with you, I don't know if I'm going to edit any of this. I don't think you're going to take anything out. One, because I'm going to freaking Toronto tomorrow. And two, what am I going to edit out? Her talking about getting shots into her vagina? Hell no. Or me giggling about how my shave is wrong.
Starting point is 01:06:37 I think one of the things, Bran, at least, that you love about me is that I just say. She has no filter. Whatever. Zero. Whatever I want say whatever. Zero. Whatever I want to say. Yeah, I'm here for it. And it gets me in trouble, but it's always out of love. Always. Yeah. Wells looks unsure. It's my favorite thing about
Starting point is 01:06:53 myself. You don't know. Wells. What? Your beanie is annoying. Oh my god. Are you doing this because you're like, I haven't made fun of your clothes yet today? Actually, also, though, I got you a beanie. You did? It's at my house. That's really nice. I should have brought it. I got a good haircut, actually.
Starting point is 01:07:10 Then why are you covering it up? Oh, it is a good haircut. It's nice. I know, but I washed my hair yesterday. Can I take a picture? I washed my hair and so I need like two days before my hair looks good. What's that called where the sides are shorter? I don't know. I've been rocking the same haircut since like... Smile 1987.
Starting point is 01:07:27 Yes, exactly. Oh my gosh. High and tight. High and tight. That's what it's called. The high and tight. All the East Nashville guys have that haircut. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:36 Yeah, bro. Don't... See, you're... See what she did right there? She said like, oh my God, like... You live in East Nashville! I know, but it was like... It was like, oh,
Starting point is 01:07:45 it's a good haircut. And then it was like, everyone thinks it's such a good haircut. You had to like bring me down a peg. You couldn't let me live in like happy land
Starting point is 01:07:53 for like the end of the show. Let's get back to happy. Okay. You're going to be real happy when that vibrator shows up. Or the next day. I can't wait to text you guys and be like,
Starting point is 01:08:02 guys, it happened. Yikes. Like, do you want to text me? Nope. I'm good. I do. I want to know. I want, I wait to text you guys and be like, guys, it happened. Yikes. Like, do you want to text me? No, I'm good. I do. I want to know. I want, I just, and you can just do like, like, you can just use emojis.
Starting point is 01:08:11 Oh, that's okay. Like, so like first I want the, the okay, hand okay. Then the water. And then the finger, and the finger like that. Oh, yeah, that's good. And then the water. And then the water shoot. Oh, yeah, that's good too.
Starting point is 01:08:23 And then. And then the eggplant. Well, you. And then there's the, no, no, that's good. And then the water shoots. Oh, yeah, that's good, too. And then the eggplant. And then there's the, no, not only eggplant, then the emoji where the guy's like, ah, drooling. That's what I want. Wow. I'm going to listen back to this. But only when it happens.
Starting point is 01:08:36 I'm going to give my all into this. I really am. It's amazing to me that the greatest thing that I've ever experienced is something that you have never experienced. I've never experienced it. God, that is so depressing. But I've never dated someone who... Well! No, but I've never dated someone who cares about it.
Starting point is 01:08:54 Yeah. Your time will come. What? I've never been with someone who's like, I really just want to love you, like pleasure you. I've just never had that. I've had guys who are like, yeah, let's just fuck. Great. Screw those guys, because no. I just haven't had it yet.
Starting point is 01:09:08 You will. Or I have guys who literally, I couldn't, like, put their hand in my pants. They'd be like, oh, God, it's hot. I stand by the fact that we have to get out of this town if we want to meet men. Well, I just moved here, but I'm down to move. We will not meet men in Nashville. Information that would have been good to know a couple months ago. I'm not saying we have to move.
Starting point is 01:09:30 I'm saying we have to travel. I can easily move. We're going to travel. I can move anywhere in the world. Long distance. Try it out. I love a long distance relationship. I didn't mind it, honestly.
Starting point is 01:09:39 Are you mad about yours? Because I think they're great. My best relationships have all been long distance. I don't actually like being around anyone. I just like to have sex once a week and then go home and watch my Netflix. Especially if you're laying in bed with someone. Sorry. And you want to watch Stranger Things and he doesn't watch Stranger Things.
Starting point is 01:09:59 It's a nightmare. And then he's like, well, I want to watch Hard Knocks. And I'm like, oh, I don't want to fucking watch Hard Knocks. Picking movies with somebody is the worst. Like, we'll come together once a week to have sex. And then the rest of the week, like, you do you. I do me. And, like, maybe we'll go to dinner or something.
Starting point is 01:10:12 I'm telling you, long distance is not bad. It's great. I love it. I'm all about it. I don't want to be around the person I date. All right, so I think our hotspot cities for dating, I think Austin's high on the list. Well, we can always move in with my parents. I think Toronto could be high on the list. Well, we can always move in with my parents. I think Toronto could be high on the list.
Starting point is 01:10:27 Going there tomorrow. I love a Canadian. Let me know if you find anybody. There's beautiful girls there, but there's not that many men. No, I really? Yeah. I love Canadian guys. Yeah?
Starting point is 01:10:35 Except the one that was on The Bachelor. He was not a good match. I would not go with that. Chicago? I see a lot of hot guys when I go to Chicago. Problem with Chicago. Sucks in the winter. That's true. So we'll go there only in the summer?
Starting point is 01:10:47 Yeah, you got a summer in Chicago. Okay, summer in Chicago. To be honest, where I'm going this week, Dallas. A lot of them? Really? I went to Dallas a couple weeks ago, and I got off the plane, and I was like, I could see myself marrying each of these men. No. Well, let's go. You're going tomorrow.
Starting point is 01:11:03 I hate you. We're all just traveling. Are we all leaving tomorrow? Yeah. Well, let's go. I'm going tomorrow. You're going tomorrow. I hate you. We're all just traveling. Are we all leaving tomorrow? Yeah. See you at the airport. I straight up might just export this bitch and put it straight up
Starting point is 01:11:14 onto the internet. What time is your flight tomorrow? The car is picking me up at 3.30. You have a car? A.M. A.M. Bougie.
Starting point is 01:11:23 Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bougie. Bachelors pay for it.
Starting point is 01:11:26 You're going to love it. You're going to have the best time. They really roll out the red carpet for you. Clearly, he's got a car. It's great. Must be nice. The hotel is beautiful, and they do your hair and makeup. I don't do that. The set is great.
Starting point is 01:11:36 Well, they'll do it. They told me to bring three outfits. I was like, I have one outfit. He has one. They check your outfits. You have to put on your clothes. Listen, let me tell you something, Bachelor Canada. You're getting a fucking leather jacket.
Starting point is 01:11:49 And a beanie. And a beanie and a cool t-shirt. That's where we're going. And cool is up for interpretation. And I had to go buy a dress because they were like, eh. No. Okay, so you're going to Toronto. I'll be a bitch about that.
Starting point is 01:12:00 You're going to Toronto and then where are you going? And then I might be going. I got to go to LA for business. He's got to Toronto and then where are you going? And then I might be going I gotta go to LA for business. Gotta. He's gotta go to LA. Gotta go. Business. Gotta go. Alright, just export this thing. There was nothing too incriminating. Nah. Nah? Nah. We're good with that? Yeah. Yeah. Does anyone get mad that I'm calling
Starting point is 01:12:19 this guy, he might be gay? I think he is. Yeah. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I just wish he wouldn't not date my friend. But just don't date me and make me feel like I'm ugly just because you don't like vagina. Totally. I can say 110% as a man, you are not ugly. Well, thank you.
Starting point is 01:12:37 I just, now I need to, I just have to have an orgasm. I'll be okay. And scene. And on that note, bye. Love you guys. Bye. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.

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