Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - PSA: Don't Buy Your Kid a Prostitute!

Episode Date: May 6, 2026

Brandi is back from Stagecoach with stories of wind evacuations, Post Malone sounding a little rough, Big X stealing the show, and a newfound obsession with female comedians after seeing Chelsea Handler live at the Ryman.Meanwhile, Wells dives into an absolutely INSANE FLDS cult documentary (Trust Me: The False Prophet) recommended by a YFTer, shares a cochlear implant video that will emotionally destroy you, and gives a spooky Widow's Bay recommendation for the Stephen King lovers out there.Plus: the Kentucky Derby has everyone crying, Brandi's mom adopts a family of ducks, and Wells reminds everyone not to buy their kids prostitutes. Seriously. Don't do it.And that's our show, folks. We love ya!FAVORITE THINGS:(22:29) Trust Me: The False Prophet (31:45) Imperfect Women (Spoiler Alert!)(34:33) Widow's Bay (40:03) Full Swing Season 4Thank you to our incredible sponsors:Article: Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit article.com/discount/yft and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout.Betterhelp: Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/YFTHers: Ready to reach your goals? Visit forhers.com/yft to get personalized, affordable care that gets you.Firstleaf: Head to TryFirstleaf.com/YFT to sign up and you'll get 50% OFF your first box PLUS FREE shipping for an entire year.Quince: Head to Quince.com/yft for FREE shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too! Don’t forget to rate, review, and share with a friend!   Keep up with us between episodes on our Instagram pages, @yftpodcast, @wellsadams and @brandicyrus and be sure to leave us a voicemail with your fav things at 858-630-1856!   This podcast is brought to you by Podcast Nation. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This podcast is brought to you by Podcast Nation. So we're going to start it out. Oh, that sounded good, didn't it? Why are we doing that? Are we celebrating something? We're having a beer. We're having a Shinerbach. Oh.

Have you ever had a Shinerbach? Have you had a Shiner? You're going to think this is insane. Okay. I have had exactly one sip of beer in my entire life. That's it. Well, what was high school? like. I didn't drink beer. You didn't drink beer in high school? No, I didn't have my first sip of

alcohol until after high school. I think it was like the summer between high school and college. And I had a smearing off ice as my first alcoholic beverage. Okay. But that's not a beer. That's a like wine cooler. Yeah. So wine coolers is what I drank in college. You had you just drink. You just ice yourself every in every party. Yeah. Yeah. They were so yummy. They had great flavors like strawberry, watermelon, you know. Because you put jolly ranchers in them? Yes, I did. Yeah, you did. Let's venture down memory lane when we used to ice people all the time. As punishment. And we would come up with elaborate ways to trick people into discovering an ice and then we'd make you get on a knee and drink it all in one sitting or one knee.

That was the bad part about it. I know. I think we got to bring icing back. Like that was peak humanity. I'm here for it. That was pretty fun. Be like, get a can of pringles, take them all out, put one in there with like a couple pringles on top and be like, you want some pringles?

And then, ah. Those were the days. Those were the days. You know, I look at these young kids and I think that sucks to be that. It really does. They're not. having any fun. Did you play Edward 40 hands in college? I don't think I did that. You know, I only went to college for a year, so I didn't have quite the experience that you had. I went for five years.

I went for an extra year. Wow. He loved it that much, huh? Called it a victory lap. I loved it so much that I didn't pass classes and here we are. Edward 40 hands was you would take two 40s and you would duct tape them to your hands and you couldn't do anything. I saw people do this. Yeah, and you couldn't do anything until you drank them both. And then because you couldn't go pee, you couldn't open the door, you couldn't do anything with it. That was pretty fun. I also like, do you remember the wizard staff?

No. Oh, man, the wizard staff was great. Okay, so every beer you drank, you duct taped it to your next beer. And then by the end of the night, you would have a nice long staff. Obviously, you're very drunk. You'd have like a really tall one. And then you would start saying things like, you shams. not pass, which was the Lord of the Rings reference to Gandalf.

Wow. Defeating the bell-wrong. Wow. In Cossett Doom. Anyways, you know, I just, my heart breaks for these youngians who just like aren't partying anymore. I know. They're really missing out.

They really are. So when you had your first beer, were you just like, this is the grossest thing I've ever had my entire life? Yes. Yep. And it was, I think it was a bud light. So, you know, horrible choice of first beer, is what I'm told. I'm just not a beer girlie. It's not for me.

If we're being honest, it doesn't taste that good. No, it's terrible. I don't get why anyone drinks it. And it makes you fat and like bloated. And I just don't get it. I know. But there are some elite beers brand I that like we should talk about. We should talk about our favorite beers. Oh yes. There are a few beers. I don't have any. It's not the brand of beer. The best beers, it doesn't really matter what they are. It matters where they all. You ever flown to Mexico?

Yes. So you've flown to Mexico. You're about to go on some big girls trip, some bachelorette party. You're going to let loose and get wild with all your girlfriends and maybe one gay guy that you came along with. And you land in Cabo-Sat-Lucus Airport

and you get your bag. And then you walk outside. And there's, for some reason, a bar outside of the airport. And you go up and you get yourself a Corona or a Modelo or a Dosecchi. On Estrella, whatever. Or a margarita.

I know, but you, but okay, fine, that's fine. But you have that beer. Give me the good stuff. You take that beer. You've landed in Mexico. It's nice and hot, cold beer in your hand. You get into your sketchy-ass fucking Uber or taxi. You don't even know this person.

You get in there, you drink that beer while you're going towards Pedregal or whatever it is. Elite beer. Okay. I'll take your word for it. I'd rather have a margarita, honestly. Barbecuing on Fourth of July. July, you're the one in charge of the barbecuing. You go outside, you got in one hand a spatula.

And in the other hand, you got yourself an ice cold beer. You throw the burgers on, the buns on, you throw everything. Everyone's, ooh, that smells good. Guys are coming over talking to you about your grilling skills. You pop that beer, elite beer. You know what I'd like to have on the Fourth of July? What? A crisp, apparel sprits, baby.

That's what I want to be drinking on the Fourth. Yeah, nothing's. says the independence of the United States, like a Italian drink. Yeah, it's better there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything's better in Italy. Why would I, I've wanted to, you know, channel the vibes. I mean, I don't disagree.

When I look at Italy, sometimes I'm like, that could be California, though. A lot of Italy looks like California to me. Some of it. I guess like the wine country, northern California, you know? Yeah, and then you go down to like the water, the riviera, all that stuff. It just looks like the coast of California. I think it's different. Yeah.

Rome is definitely different. I'd never been to Rome. What? Never been to Rome. That's fucking crazy to me. I know. I've been to... Because you're so well-traveled.

That's shocking. Rome's amazing. I've been so much. I think Rome is probably the foreign city I've been to the most, except for Cape Town. But Rome's amazing. It's so like, it's this huge city. And there's so much going on, but there's something just so laid back. about it. It's very cool. The food's amazing. The shopping's great. Everyone's so nice. You got to go to Rome.

I know. I need to go to Rome. I haven't been to Rome. I've been to Italy, just not to Rome. That is wild. You're talking about... You're not going to the Vatican? No. That's insane. Why? Because I'm Catholic? You're Catholic. You're Catholic. I know, but I don't know. I don't need to go to the Vatican. You're not really. You're not practicing. I'm not even signed up for the sport, let alone practicing it. No. No. No.

But I will go, much like a Jewish person, I feel like goes to the temple on like bar mitzvahs, bat mitzvahs, and like Passover, maybe they go for. I wouldn't know. I don't know. I'll go on Easter. If like my mom's around, she like gilts me and do it, you know? And then fantastic night to go is Christmas Eve midnight mass. Oh, it's the best time to go with the candle. Do you guys do the candlelights in the Catholic Church?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but candlelight mass is a different one than midnight mass. Oh, see, ours is the midnight service when we do the candles. Okay, that's pretty cool. But anyways, yeah, you go there with, and it's when you go back home and you're staying with your parents and everyone you know goes to midnight mass and everyone's there just all drunk. And you're like, hey, there's so-and-so, there's so-and-so. And so-and-so got fat freshman year. That is great times. That sounds fun.

We were talking earlier today. You were just talking about 4th of July, but we were talking earlier today about like this is going to come out on May 3rd, May 4th, May 5th. Sinkgo de Mayo. Yeah, this is going to be coming out on Cinco de Mayo. And we were talking about having a birthday on Cinco de Mayo was a pretty great birthday because everyone wants to party, you know? Like everyone's like, yeah, I'll party.

True. Absolutely. You know? No matter what day of the week it is, you're like, It's my birthday. We're going to go party. Okay. Yeah, it's four.

It's single tomorrow. You're going to eat well. You're going to drink well. Everyone's down to hang, you know? The other birthdays that are great. Fourth of July, that's a great one. Everyone wants to go hang out in Fourth of July. It's usually a pool situation, a grilling situation.

Yep. Maybe a boat situation. Ooh, even better. Yeah. But then like the ones that suck are like Christmas. What about New Year's Eve? No, that sucks. I think New Year's Eve could be a good.

No. Everyone's partying. Everyone's going out. Yeah, but everyone's focused on just being with one person. And if it's your birthday, then no one's focusing on you. Huh, I guess. It's tourist season right now, baby. It is. You and me are tourists.

How are we similar? Oh, I'm a Gemini. When's your birthday? May 26th. I'm just over the Taurus cusp. Oh, that makes a lot of sense. Big difference between a May Gemini and a June Gemini, by the way. Big difference.

Really? Oh, yeah. I'm a late May Taurus. Yep. How old are you turning? 42. I know, but look how good I look. You do look pretty good.

I feel like you've lost some weight. You think so? I think it's the hat. I think it makes my head. No. No. Maybe you've been drinking less. Some things...

I have been drinking a lot less. That could be it. Yeah. I don't know. I remember last time I got drunk. I've stopped like completely... Yeah, you're right. That's what it is.

That's it. All right, Brandi, I got a big Memorial Day party coming up. I'm going to be doing a crawfish boil in the backyard. We'll pool party. And we got to get the house ready, which means we got to buy some new furniture from Article. article has got the best stuff, man. They make it effortless to create stylish, long-lasting home decor. At an unbeatable price,

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Oh, my God, Brandy, you know how much I like a nice crisp white wine. Yes. I'm a big Sauvignon Blanc boy. Oh, really? I am, and that's why I'm bougie. Because it's hot here in California, and I like to have a nice chilled drink, and that is perfect for me. I like a good glass of wine at the end of day, but I know. never really know what to buy. So I just grab something and just hope for the best. Then,

Brandy, I found First Leaf. And honestly, it just makes the whole thing super easy. They match wines to your taste and send them right to your door. Here's the best part too. Like, I hate having to go to store for wine. I love that you can control your own delivery schedule with first leaf. If you need wine by Friday, you can adjust the timing. If you're going on vacation, you can skip a shipment. It really does fit life just so perfectly. And if a bottle, doesn't hit the mark. First Leaf has a hundred percent satisfaction guarantee. They'll make it right and you definitely don't get that buying at the wine store. First Leaf works directly with wineries, which means we get access to award-winning bottles, including wines you can't always find at your

local stores at prices well below retail. Stop settling for wines that don't quite hit the mark. Head on over to try firstleaf.com slash YFT to sign up and you'll get 50% off your first box. What? Plus free shipping for an entire year. T-R-Y-F-I-R-S-T-L-E-A-F dot com slash Y-F-T. Anyways, glad you could make this one. We missed you on the last one. Thank you very. Well, you were out here, like, last minute,

trying to switch up the fucking plans on me. No. Very last minute. I said, let's do it that evening. And then right when I called you, which is it like seven or six, you're like, I'm driving back from Palm Springs. I'm like, that's going to be three hours. Well, you texted me at like 4 p.m.

Which is not nighttime. Yeah, but that's the thing. So in my mind. But I was in central time. Well, that's, that is your mistake for not doing the conversion and telling me night. Because to me, nighttime is definitely like 6 p.m. or later. Even 6 p.m. is like a bit of a stretch to be calling it night. You know, like I feel like night is when the sun goes down.

Yeah. Well. Like 6 p.m. is still. evening. It was 6 p.m. when I texted you. But it was 4 p.m. where I was and I would have, I made it back to L.A. by night time. You did. You're a working boy, so we're going to, we're going to cut you some slack. I had an early call time. You're on a job. I'm on a job. I got to go. I got some sleep. Speaking of jobs, you were at the stage coach. How was it? Did you see, did you see some folks? I saw your sister was there. I saw your dad was there. Everyone was there. Yep.

Everybody was there but you. I had a great time. Fabulous time. You can't tell because it's fucking freezing here. So I'm wearing long sleeves. But I got a great tan, which I'm thrilled about. And I saw, I went to the festival Friday and I saw Noah, of course, and Ella Langley. And it was my first time seeing Ella. So that was fun. She had a huge crowd. She brought the Yvonne out. It was very cute. Saturday, I had to work the Levi's event during the day. And then that night, we were going to go see Lainey because we love Lainey. But we went back to our house in between, like after Levi's.

We were like, let's go do a recharge and we made the mistake of getting in the hot tub. And we were like, oh, fuck, we don't want to go anywhere. And so we were literally sitting there all deliberating whether we were going to go all the way back to the festival for Lainey and then we get a text.

And by we, I mean, my manager, who's best friends with whoever puts on the entire festival. And the text says, we're about to evacuate the festival grounds because of wind. Oh, no. And lo and behold, five minutes later on social media, everyone's on there.

And the footage is actually insane. The wind looked really fucking bad. And they're evacuating everybody from the festival. Everyone's trapped because there's not enough Ubers and everyone's trying to leave it once. And it looked like an absolute shit show. And I'm so fucking glad I missed it. I do feel bad for Lennie. They postponed her set.

They ended up reopening it. Lany still got to perform. But it was like an hour later. I'm sure half the people fucking left because it's such a nightmare to get in and out. Like once you've gotten out, I would imagine a lot of people, didn't want to go back in. So I felt really bad for Laney, because that's a huge bummer for her to have to deal with all that.

But she did get to play, which is great. So I dodged a bullet. And then Sunday, I went back for Post Malone and only could watch like 30 minutes of the set because then I had to leave to go offsite to work to DJ an event. I got to say, I'm a massive Post Malone fan, like massive. And I've seen him perform a few times. He did not sound very good.

What's going on with Posty? I'm not sure. But like vocally, he just didn't sound for it. He didn't sound his best. And I hate to say that because I fucking love Posty. But I saw him at sand in my boots last year. And Matt and I watched the whole show. Like we loved it. He sounded amazing. It was a phenomenal performance. And God, I just like, I don't know what was up. But he, he did not sound great. So my party. I DJed. I opened the party and then Big X performed after me. And so I got to stay and watch Big X. So sick. Truly, honestly, like even if you don't like hip hop, big. X, the tone of his voice is sick. Like, he really is so talented. Like, I would just encourage you guys. If you don't think you're a big X fan, like, and you get a chance to see him go, because I think he'll be pleasantly surprised. Like, he puts on a great performance. And his voice is just really incredible. So yeah, that was my stage coach. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I was doing today, which is why I postponed an hour. Why? What? Because I wanted to watch the Kentucky Derby. Oh, yeah. I'm surprised. I think.

we talk about this every year but like I feel like you have a love-hate relationship with a Kentucky Derby. I do. Well, I do. I'm not just the Derby, all horse racing. I'm just, I'm truly, I'm not very educated on it. And maybe I you know what I'd like to do? I'd like to go to a track and go like behind the scenes in the stable and just like I'd like to see it in person like what really goes on. Maybe that would change my mind. I really

just don't know much about it. All I know, all I see is during the race. There's a, everyone carries a whip, which I hate. and there's just a lot of whip thrashing and I'm very aware that they're not hitting the horse every single time. I think there's rules against that. Like we have rules against that and the type of riding that I do. You can't hit a horse more than twice in a row. You get literally, you can get fined. You can get eliminated from competing for the year and worse.

Like it spends on what it is. But I don't love the use of the whip. That's my biggest complaint with it. I also like, and I'm just curious, like today as I watched. And I'll get to the derby in a second, but like as I watch, like at the end of the race, the winner is being interviewed. Like at the second they crossed the finish line, they bring the horse back to like a walk trot and they're being led, I guess, to the winner's circle.

And they're being interviewed by someone else on a horse, like right after the fucking race. And I get it. But also like that horse just ran its fucking hard out in the fucking heat. Can we like take care of the horse before you give your fucking interview? Like it's just those little things where I just feel like horse care should come first. and it's just a little bit, you know, of a show and like all the things. So I really, before I judge it, I should probably go and see it in person and learn more about it. But it's just those little things that bother me.

However, it makes me very emotional. Like the past few derbies that I've watched, I fucking cry every time, every time one crosses the finish line. It's insane. I don't, it just makes me so emotional that these horses run their hearts out and these jockeys and these trainers. They work so hard for this moment. And then one person gets to win it all. It's just very emotional. And this year, the winner of the Kentucky Derby, the trainer of the winning horse, is the first female trainer to ever win a Kentucky Derby.

Oh, really? Pretty fucking cool. She's the only female trainer. Yeah, the only female trainer out of the field of 20 to even be in it. And I think there's only been like one other female trainer to win one of the Triple Crown races. Like just insanely groundbreaking, which is kind of insane to me in show jumping, which is is what I do. There's a lot of females in the sport, but I guess in horse racing, there's not for whatever reason, right? Like, all these jockeys are male. Like, I don't know what that is, but very

cool for her. And her whole family was there in the winter circle during interviews. Everybody was sobbing. Like, it was very cool to watch. And the jockey as well, it was his first win. And if you guys go back and watch the replay, two really cool things. The first one, this horse started in the fucking back. Like, out of the gate, he's in the back. And he makes his way all. And that's what gets me emotional. Like in the back has to make up so much ground and comes from behind to win it. Like, I think that's so cool. And then also the jockey, his brother was also in the race. And the two of them were the ones fighting at the very end when they crossed the finish line. I just thought that was really cool. Good storyline. Yeah. That's cool. Well, I'm glad that a woman

won this. That's pretty cool. Isn't that cool? Yeah. Yeah. I know. I love that. Was the horse, was the horse a boy horse or a girl horse? It was. It was a gelding. I was kind of hoping it was a mare. There was, like, I love all the stories. Like, and I'm sure, listen, I, you know how the press loves to like pull the heartstrings, but there was another horse in the race named So Happy and it was a mare and it was named that because it's the opposite of So Happy. Mairs are like notoriously like in a bad mood constantly.

And this horse so happy. That's who I was rooting for. I wanted it to win so bad because I love mares. But no, this one was a gelding. Golden something was its name. It's golden, golden something. Pretty crazy that in like the animal kingdom. there's no difference in like terms of like muscle or speed at least with horses right like a girl

horse can be just as fast as a boy horse yeah it can and it's like and i mean in a lot of in a lot of scenarios i mean listen they're both equally you know physique-wise they're equally as talented but there's something to be said for like you know a mayor has a lot more fire a lot of the time than a boy horse i guess that it's a little bit different with racing i don't think they gelled the the boys, they're all probably stallions and like with show jumping they're all gilded so the mares are usually a bit spicier which kind of comes in handy when you're competing

but yeah I guess that is interesting that physical physicality wise like they're equals. When you say gelding does that mean that they've had their nuts cut off? Yep. Yeah. Very cool. I'm glad that that horse won and I'm glad for that lady.

Pretty cool. Pretty freaking cool dude. Pretty freaking cool. So anyway, yeah. So that's why I pushed an hour. I really wanted to watch the race. Nice. Yeah. You want to start the show? Yep.

Me or you. You. Bros and hoes. You're listening to your favorite thing podcast with... Wells and Brandy. Bing, bing, bong, boom, bong, boom. I want to start with something that annoys me. Oh, please.

Okay. You know sometimes when you're having to fill out information, like on an app, it's generally on an app. It's not like on the computer, but it's like on your phone. It's on an app and you have to fill in your name and your gender and address, all that stuff. And you have to put it in your birthday, you know? Yeah. And we have to put your birthday in.

It's like you can't just like type in the, you have to scroll through the years to get to yours. And it takes a long time and your thumb starts to hurt. And you're like, fuck you, man. This is ridiculous. Just let me type in. 1984. I don't need to have to fucking scroll from 26 down to 2000

then down to 1984 you bitch. It is a very far scroll. You know what I'm talking about? You've done it and you're like Oh yeah. It really grinds my ears. It's very specific complaint. I know I was doing it the other day and I was like, this annoys me. Hey, by the way, I was talking to the wife tears by myself last time about this, but I want to talk to you.

What happened to Savannah Guthrie's mom? We just stop talking about her. You're right. I have no idea. Is that lady dead? No one don't. Dude, you can't. It's like starting a story and then never finishing. I mean, we need to know what happened to her.

Are we still looking for Savannah Guthrie's mom? Do we think that she's alive? Have we all just given up hope? Did you ask chat? I ask chat, GPT, everything these days. It's very alarming. What happened to Savannah Guthrie's mom? Savannah Guthrie's mother, Nancy Guthrie, has been missing since overnight between January 31st and February 1st from her home in the Catalina Foothills, Arizona.

The case is being treated as an abduction with signs including a trail of blood and a disabled doorbell camera. Savannah temporarily stepped away from her role on the Today Show to focus on the search and returned in early April. The FBI is still investigating and a reward over a million dollars has been offered. How come no one's talking about Savannah Guthrie's mom anymore? Even though there's been less media coverage lately, Savannah Guthrie's mom, Nancy, is still missing and the case remains active. Investigators in Arizona are still working on the evidence, but no major new breakthroughs have been announced. The initial big publicity faded as the case moved into quieter investigative stages, but authorities are still reviewing tips and lap results. All right?

Damn. She's dead, right? I think so. She's got to be dead, right? You know what are we doing? Yeah, I think. It's pretty crazy. That's too bad. That's pretty nuts.

Yeah, that's sad. I just want to know what happened to her. I thought we were going to blame it on the brother-in-law and all that stuff. I was really excited about that. I was excited about the Netflix movie that would come out, obviously, about it. Speaking of Netflix, I got this suggestion from a YFT or from YFT in our DMs, the documentary. Okay. Trust me, the false prophet.

Have you heard about this one? I have not. Okay, this is right up our alley, Brandi. The fact that we miss this. Oh, boy, boy. I can't believe it's a cult. It's Mormonism. It's fundamental Mormonists.

Oh, all the things we love. A cult expert and her videographer husband embed themselves into a vulnerable FLDS community where they discovered disturbing evidence It's about Samuel Bateman, who claims to be the successor to the imprisoned prophet war and Jeff's. Trust me, the false prophet. So this husband and wife, they moved to Utah or wherever, wherever all these Mormons are hanging out.

Utah? Yeah, Utah. And sometimes in Idaho and Fiji, they're all over the place. Anyways, there was a documentary a while back about Warren Jeffs, and that guy went to jail because he had like 25 wives and like a lot of them were like underage, you know. Anyways, so what ended up happening with all these FLDS ladies is that none of them were having kids anymore because this guy's in jail and they're only like allowed to have sex with this one guy for some reason. Don't ask me why. I don't know.

Insane. It starts with like them like looking through like this attic and like it was like all the cribs from the community because there's no one having kids anymore. So anyways, there's all these women who are just stuck now because the guy that they were all living with is in jail. So they don't know what to do. They can't make any money. So like she starts this little store where they can sell knick-knacks and things that they make by hand and stuff. And she gives all these women some purpose. And she starts to like build trust with all these women, right? Then she starts finding out about this guy named Sam Bateman who was like a fucking nerd, dork. No one liked him. Failure at business. Fat, ugly, whatever. and he says that he is, that he says that Warren Jeffs is actually dead

and it's a smear campaign and the fake news, big media is saying he's alive, but really he's dead. And Warren Jeffs has come to him as a spirit and told him that he is the new prophet. And now he's having all these wives. And of course, none of them. Well, most of them are like under 16 years old.

And he's, but he's such a egomaniac that he's having this. wife and his husband film him because he thinks he's some fucking prophet, not some weirdo pedophile piece of garbage. Anyways, you need to want to trust me the false prophet because it is fantastic. It sounds good. It does sound like it's right up our alley. God bless these crazy Mormons, you know?

I just, it's messed up. Like there's these scenes where like she's talking to like all the wives. they're like, I just know that he's the only way that I can meet Heavenly Father. And you're like, what? That's fucked up. This piece of fucking love. He needs to go to jail and he needs to get absolutely just the shit kicked out of him in jail for doing what he's done. But like, it's amazing.

This guy, he takes, he makes this wife and this husband go film him all over the place and likes to hike. And he thinks he's like really good at hiking. And so he like runs up hills and like runs down boulders. And like, he's like, look at me. And he's like kind of parkoring it up. And it's like, dude, what are you doing? He makes the husband film him on a motor, like on a little motorcycle, like a dirt bike to do jumps. But he's so fucking fat.

He doesn't get any air, dude. But he thinks he's getting air. But he's not getting any air. And of course, the husband's like, you know, they're like, they're like embedded in. So they're like pretending that they're like for him or whatever. And they're like, he's like, wow, what amazing air. He's like, he fucking didn't get any hair, dude. Anyways.

Wow, so there's some comedy in there. Okay. I mean, it's messed up and it's like you shouldn't be laughing at it, but like, fuck that guy. And I'm, yeah. So anyways, that's a must watch. It's a must watch. Please go check it out. Okay.

What do you got? Well, guess what I did the other night? You went and saw Wicked 2. No, but I did go out of the house and I went to a actual live. comedy show and I saw Chelsea Handler at the Ryman. How was it? It was amazing. I'm so glad I went. I kind of feel like, was this my first comedy show? I think this might have been my very, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's true. You know who I, who I've seen back in the fucking day is Dan Cook when he was a thing. I did see him a couple times. No, yeah. This was the first one in a long time. I mean, I fucking

love Chelsea Handler. We had her unsary where Cyrus last year. And I just, she's, I think she's fucking hilarious. She's an absolute icon. Like, come on, Chelsea lately. Are you kidding me? I read her latest book. I thought it was fantastic. And the thing I love about Chelsea, she just does such a good job of, she's so unapologetic. You know, like, she, like, she talks a lot about, like, her family and makes jokes, you know, about family vacations. And, like, she's so personal with her content and, like, what she talks about and writes about. But, like, somehow balances her family doesn't hate her, you know? Like, if I, I did that to my family.

If I said one little tiny joke about any of my siblings, I would be freaking blacklisted. Like, they would never speak to me again. I'm like, how does she do it? It's incredible. I love it. That's good. Did you get to hang out with her afterwards?

Yeah, I did. I went and saw her after. She's so fun. Where did you guys know afterwards? I was just like, we were just backstage at the Ryman, like in her dressing room hanging out afterwards. And then I need to look up and see whoever is opening for her. Hold on.

Let me try to find out. Yamanika. Do you know who she is? No. You don't? I feel like she's been on something. Anyway, she is opening for Chelsea, and she was fucking hilarious. Like, honestly, and you know me, I'm not really big on comedy at all.

But she was just so funny. I was just so impressed. And I feel like it would be so scary to go and open for someone like Chelsea, who's just been doing this for so fucking long. And, like, obviously, that's who everyone's there to see. Like, it must be so intimidating to just walk out and have to entertain all the people that did not come to see you, you know? And she really killed it. She was so funny.

10 out of 10 recommend Chelsea's on tour right now. So if she's coming through your city, you guys need to go see her. Something else I loved that she did towards the end of the show is she was like, she was like, okay, guys, like, I have to go and do this Kevin Hart roast for Netflix, like in a couple weeks or something. She was like, can I test out some of my stuff on you guys? And she did. And it was fucking hilarious, but also just very cool of her.

I just feel like she's like, I can't imagine like playing a DJ set and being like, I'm going to play some unfinished songs for you guys. You know what I mean? Like I just, it's very cool that she's so authentic and just so like cool like that. And so it's fun to do that. And now I'm like, well,

now I have to go watch the Kevin Hart roast because now I have to see if these jokes land. Yeah. That's fun. I like that a lot. Yeah, it was very cool. Maybe you are a comedy girl and you just.

Maybe I just like female comedians, you know, which I mean, is my, that would be on brand. So. Yeah. Well,

then you should, you know, you should watch Lysisessinger. You should watch, watch Nikki Glazer. You should watch Janine Garofalo. You should watch Sarah Silverman. There's a lot of good female comics. Maybe I'll dip my toe in the comedy water here with the females. I was surprised. I was surprised. Chelsea makes

like a lot of digs about men. You know, it's like, but she also like, her whole thing is like dogging men, but she loves men, you know. She's so open about her sex life and everything in her dating life. There were so many men. And, you know, there were so many men. the audience. It was actually insane. I was shocked. And like, it's Nashville, you know. So I was like, are there even enough, you know, Democrats here to even like fill the rhyming? And there were. And I was like looking around and I was just shocked. Like a lot of the people I was looking at looked like they would be Trumpers, you know, but they were there and they were laughing and all the shit. I loved it. It was great. That's awesome. I'm glad you went to a live comedy show. People need to

go to more comedy shows. Yeah. And you know what? You know what else I fucking loved about it. So low commitment. Like a comedy shows an hour. It's just an hour. It's not like you have to if you're going to watch a band. There's like three openers. The band plays for 90 minutes to two hours. Like it's so late. You don't get out of there until midnight. This was so much fucking better. I showed up at eight. The opener played for 20 minutes. Chelsea went on for an hour. I was out of there and in bed by 11 o'clock. Like way better timings for me. I didn't have to sit there for very long. Like, I didn't even have to take a bathroom break. That's how short it was.

I didn't have to go use the public toilet. I'm here for it. Yeah. So I did that. And then the other thing I wanted to chat about, which it's just like such a bummer that you don't watch it. But the finale of Imperfect Women aired last week. Such a great show. Like, I loved this show from episode one until the very end.

Elizabeth Moss also produced it. She's in it. And then she also produced the whole thing. It was so well done. I guess, spoiler alert, if you haven't seen it and you don't want it to be ruined, can you fast forward a minute and a half here? The first few episodes, they kind of jump around. And at the end of every episode, you think it might be somebody that killed Nancy.

Nancy's when they died. Every episode, you're like, oh, maybe so-and-so killed Nancy. Oh, maybe it was so-and-town. Maybe it was the husband. Maybe it was this person. And you're jumping around. And then like three quarters of the way in, you land on Mary's husband. And he's, you know, who it's looking like.

And it, but it wasn't close enough to the end for me to be like, oh, it can't be him. Like, we can't know this early that it was him. So I kept thinking it was fucking Mary, who Elizabeth Moss plays Mary. I just kept thinking like it has to be her because she was seeming kind of crazy. And once she found out, found out quote unquote, the husband did it. She like didn't want to report him. And she was being a freaking psycho and going back to him and wanting to like run away with him and all this shit. And like, you're like, hello, he's a fucking murderer.

Why would you do that unless he's not a murderer and you are? And so it just started to look questionable for Mary. Lo and behold, it was her fucking husband. husband. And at the very end, in the very last minutes of this finale, they fast forward and show she's at a birthday party for one of her kids. And Nancy's fucking husband is there. The rich husband. His name's last name is Hennessy. Mr. He's there. And they share this look at the very fucking end. And you're like, holy fucking shit is Mary the new Mrs. Hennessy. And what's crazy about this is like you find out during the season that she is,

is pretending to be Nancy who's married to the Hennessy guy. She's like pretending that with her husband. And they like have sex and role play and pretend to be them. And it's so fucked up and weird. And then at the end, Nancy dies. And she gets with her fucking husband. It's crazy. Brilliant.

Genius. I fucking loved it. But also like you're not sure. They like leave it up to you. They like show. And you're like, wait a second. Wait a second. Is she with fucking Hennessy guy?

Like holy shit. It was great. Like you spoiled it for me right there. So not going to watch that. Well, were you going to watch it anyway? Probably not. I mean, I didn't know it was a, I mean, now it sounds kind of good. Now I kind of want to watch it.

I've been telling you this whole time that it's good. What's it called? Imperfect Women. Yes, imperfect women. Like even like Matt only watched like the first half of the season. And he wasn't like, I think the title like turned him off, which fair. And but like even like he would like scroll his phone while I would watch it. But he was into it.

I could tell. Like, he was watching it. You know, I do think he'd like it. I watched a show on Apple that I liked a lot called Widows Bay. Have you heard about this? No. The lead is Matthew Ries. He was, remember that kind of like murder mystery with Claire Daines?

And she was doing that, like, story on him. And you were like, is he a murderer? Is he not? It's that guy. Okay. Yep. He's the main character. He plays the mayor of this, like, little island.

kind of like Nantucket or Martha's Vineyard called Widows Bay. A skeptical mayor leads a superstitious residence of a cursed New England Island. Widows Bay. So it kind of opens with, he's the mayor of this tiny little town and he's been trying to get tourism back to this little kind of fishing village. But it's marred with like a kind of a checkered past of, you know, ships gone missing and, you know, wives being left. hence the Widows Bay thing left because their husbands have died at sea and stuff

and everyone thinks the place is haunted and there's like this like crazy story about this like deadly fog that rolls in and it turns everyone into zombies and their eyes go white and all this stuff but like that's not real that can't be real and so he's like really trying to change the narrative

so he has this like writer for the New York Times come in and he wants to like show them around and everything and then of course it was like the night before there was like a crazy storm. The fog rolled in. This one main fisherman is missing. Another fisherman's like, you need to shut the island down.

The fog's coming. It's, you know, and scaring everyone. All the while, the mayor is trying to be like, shut up. We have this writer here. He's going to change like the tourism and in this entire town with like one good article. It's very like Stephen King-esque. It's creepy.

It's spooky. It's haunted. But it's also got like a lot of, comedy and it's still very funny. Ding, ding, ding, Widows Bay on Apple TV Plus. I'll give you a ding for that. Yes. Go check it out. I think you will like it. Very good. Yeah, that sounds really good. Yeah. I watch a terrible movie. Oh, geez. It's called proximity. Okay. It doesn't sound, it sounds terrible. I saw a clip on TikTok and it looked cool. And then I watched it and I realized it wasn't.

A young NASA JPL scientist is abducted by extraterrestrials. But when no one believes his story, he becomes obsessed with finding proof, which leads him on a journey of discovery, proximity. So it sounds cool, right? He gets abducted. I think this is happening kind of like in the early 2000s. He's got like a camcorder and he's out like on a hike and he's like doing this video journal because his therapist tells him that he should be doing that. And then he sees this like fireball in the sky. He like follows it down to where it landed and he sees a UFO spinning up above him.

And then he turns around and there's an alien, a little gray there. And he like films the entire thing. He then gets abducted, gets taken up into the ship, but you don't really know. Then he wakes up like four days later, like on the side of the road. There's footage of the alien, of the spacecraft, everything in his, in his tape reporter. And so he uploads it to YouTube. And so he becomes, like, famous. Everyone thinks he's full of shit, though.

Like the men and black guys come. Anyways, at the end, I'm just going to ruin it for you because it's terrible and you shouldn't watch it. Please. But it's also kind of fun. So the whole thing is about aliens, right? And you're like, all right, this is fun. And they're running away from the men and black guys and whatnot. And at the end, he gets reunited with the alien.

And the alien, they've got some device that they're able to talk with the aliens. the aliens like explaining why they're there and they're like you know we travel the universe looking for the creator the source code and we just have one question for you and they're like okay what's the question and they're like who is this person and then it's a video of jesus ascending into heaven and they're like i'm like wait this is a religious movie what anyways and the guys like this is jesus and they're like okay thank you for answering our question it's like hold on, you had to do all this to find out that was Jesus? Like, it's like the main thing everyone talks about on this planet.

Interesting. I was bamboozled. I thought it was an alien movie and it turned in to be like some sort of like Christian propaganda. Bomer. Proximity. You didn't happen to see the new, the movie Apex that's on Netflix right now. Is it Charlie Staron? No, but I heard it's good.

Yeah, I really want to watch it. But I feel like I should wait for Matt because I think he's going to want to watch it. And he's out of town all week. I got the house to myself. A mountain climber haunted by a fatal decision in Norway retreats to the Australian wilderness for isolation. Her journey turns into a desperate hunt when a deceptive local targets her

as his next ritualistic prey in the bush. Apex. Ooh, that looks fun. Sounds good, right? Yeah, psychological thriller, action, survival. Charlize their own. Sounds great. Eric Banna's in it?

Love him. Terran Egerton? Yeah. Wow. Big cast. Big cast. All right. I want to watch this.

That's in my watch list. Yeah, that's in my watch list this week. I know you don't care about this, but full swing season four is out. It's kind of like drive to survive with golf. I don't. Anyways. Right. It's fantastic.

It's all about the Ryder Cup, which was a wild one. I went to that Rider Cup, actually. Anyways, I know that you guys don't care about that. Well, some might. You never know. That's true. This one, Y of Tier D. me about golf and she was like, I want to surprise my husband for his 40th birthday over the golf trip.

Like, I'm thinking about it. And I was like, I got you. And I gave her all the information. Wow. Okay. We're, we're telling some folks. I like it. You ever seen a video of a deaf kid get a cochular implant? You ever see that? I have not. There's a lot of videos out in the world right now, you know? A lot of ones that make you want to really pull in your heartstrings are that make you cry. But let me tell you something. There is nothing better than watching a deaf kid. all of a sudden here. You will cry every single time.

I want to show you this. God, there's just nothing better than watching one of these kids get some hearing. No. Can you hear me now? No? Do you hear beeps? Yeah.

It's right, beep, beep, beep, beep. When we're talking, can you hear beaks? Yeah. Yeah? That's your cochlear implant. It'll turn into words. Oh, oh. Yeah, so you're hearing with them.

I'm talking to a hearing? Yeah. Yeah. So like everybody be quiet. I do, but when I'm talking, I can hear it. Yeah. You can hear? Can you hear yourself?

Yeah, I can hear myself. Yeah, I can hear myself talking on a tree. Beep, beat, beat. Yeah. How's the volume? Oh, great, like, perfect. Would you turn it up or down or would you leave it? I'll keep you like this.

Okay. It's great. Okay. Okay. Can you hear me? Then put it on top when you're done. I'm stopping here unless you want me to turn it up more. Okay.

Do you want me to turn it up more? Do you want it up more? I do, yeah. A little bit? Okay, here's a little bit. Test one, two, three. Is that better? Yeah, that's better.

I like this. Yeah? I want this. Hey, your urinate is off. This is just your cochlear implant. Wait, I can hear you. Yeah. No way.

Can you hear? No way. No way. Can you hear me? You can hear me? Oh my goodness. Okay. Is it too loud?

Does it hurt or is it okay? Is it okay? It's okay. Is it too loud? It's good. Are these happy tears? Are they happy tears? Are they good tears?

Yeah. Okay, good. You're doing so good. What a little cutie! Is there anything better than watching a kid get a cochlear implant? I maintain, no. I don't think there is. It's pretty good.

So cute. So cute. When he realizes that he's no longer using the hearing aid, it's just the implant, he's like, what? Oh my God, I can hear myself. I can hear myself. Oh, my goodness. That's crazy. Ding, ding.

Ding, ding. Popular implants. Those are pretty great. Very cool. The last thing I have is a really weird video. Oh, boy. Yeah, I know. But where would we be without some of my weird videos?

Okay. Great question. We might have more listeners. I don't know. That's maybe true, actually. This is a guy who entitled this Instagram video, The Night My Father bought me a prostitute. Oh, boy.

The night that my father bought me a prostitute was the night that he ceased being my father and became my best friend. Not only did he want to talk about what the experience was like, but he then suggested that we go to the casino and gamble all night. And let me tell you why these two things are a problem. Children need parents, they don't need best friends. When my dad introduced me to prostitution and gambling, it became an issue for me. He normalized it for me. I want to speak to the fathers that are watching this video. Please do not buy your son's prostitutes, and please don't take them gambling.

It had devastating consequences, and I don't want that to happen to your family. Your algorithm is something. Hey. It's something. Any dad's out there, there's, I know this is primarily a lady's show, but any dad's out there, just don't buy your kid a prostitute and then take a seat and talk about the hooker. You're a kid. Oh, man.

I want there now to be a little bit. a companion video of the father being like, my son's a little bitch. Yeah, yeah, y, y'i. The day I told my son I wasn't proud of him anymore, the day he told me that it wasn't cool that I got him a prostitute and I took them to the casino. Anyways, yeah, you should be a good father or not do that, but that's pretty funny that someone made a video of that

because he thinks that that's like an epidemic in the world. Wow, on that note. Hey, did you see on Instagram? We didn't talk about it last week. Did you see on Instagram? Did you see how my mom has ducks and ducklings living in her pool? No, she does? Did she buy?

You didn't? No, did she buy those ducks? No, they're wild ducks. They just, the mom duck, they named her Mildred. Mildred decided to have her babies in my mom's backyard and has decided to call her pool home, and it's the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen. There's just Mildred and three baby ducks just swimming around. Literally all day, all they do, they wake up.

My mom feeds them oatmeal, which is what chat. GPT said she could feed them. And then they swim and they sunbathe. And they swim and they swim and they swim and they sunbathe and they nap. And then they swim and then they sunbathe and then they nap. And then she feeds them oatmeal for lunch and dinner. And they're just fucking living the dream in Toluca Lake. Wait, are they shitting in the pool? I didn't see any duck shit.

Really? So, I mean, I'm sure they are, but like it must not be crazy. And then it's hilarious. Every day around like 4 o'clock, Mildred flies off. And the baby dogs are like, they're quacking and they're freaking. out and she brings the daddy duck to the pool and he hangs out for like 10 minutes maximum and then he flies away and he's literally not seen again. I'm like what the fuck is he doing? What you know me? I'm like oh he's off fucking other ducks. Well behold ducks are monogamous during

breathing season. So for one year he's monogamous to the one duck apparently. So I'm like okay, well if you're not fucking other ducks, what the fuck are you doing all day? You're not bringing them food home. We're feeding them. So what are you doing? Typical man, like shows up for 10 minutes and like, what the hell? And also, he's been to the pool so many times. How can he not find his way? Why does Mildreid have to go get him and bring him back? Like, can't he find his way back daily at 4 o'clock?

I just don't understand. Yeah, she has like go to the bar and get the deadbeat dad to come home. Literally. Yeah, that's pretty funny. I mean, maybe he's with like his other family that's got boy ducks and he's buying them prostitutes and taking them to the casino. Very possible. He seems like that kind of duck, you know?

Does the dad duck have a name? Is his name Donald? He does not. No, he doesn't have a name. Donald would be good, though. For many reasons. And then are the baby ducks named Huey, Louis, and Dewey? They don't have names yet, but I'll throw that out there as options.

Are they mallards? I don't know. The daddy duck looks like a mallard. He's got some green on him. Green in him and a green head. The dad duck is, but the mama duck is. I think so, yeah. But the mama duck is.

is mostly brown and just has like a little bit of blue on her wings. Yeah, that's a hen mallard. Well, she's very cute. Yeah, mallards are great. You should let ducks live in your backyard in your pool. Have I ever told you the story of when we had geese living with us? I feel like you did mention that maybe. My brother.

Were their babies? Yeah, my brother came across like two Canadian geese out like in the wilderness. I think that my dad and my brothers were hunting or something and they came across these two geese. So we brought them home. We built them a little pond. And my brother... How did they transport them?

In a car. Just like no cage, no box. Just throw them in the car? Yeah. And then we had like a little shed with like a heat lamp that like kept them more and we fed them and stuff. And then we built them a little pond in our backyard. And then they imprinted on my brother.

He called them the geisty boys, which is very funny. Very funny. We lived on a golf course and he would ride his BMX and they would fly right next to him, similar to fly away home. That movie's also bullshit because they're like, we have to show them how to get south. Fucking, that's not true. Geese know where to go. It's like ingrained in them. So when they got old enough, they left.

They went south. And then they would come back every year. And we had these French, we had these French doors and the geese would, well, first of all, before they went south, they would, they knew where my brother were. we went to school. And so they would fly to school and they would hang out like where we had PE because they went to see Brett. And then they'd fly home and then they started flying south. And then they'd be gone for like a couple months. And then they'd come back and we'd have these French doors. And all of a sudden every one day we was sitting there watching TV. We watched like days of our lives or whatever. And then they'd come up and they would tip top top top top top top top on the

French doors. And my mom would be like, the geisty boys are back. And then my brother would go out. My brother had could talk to them. He had different calls. One was like come home. One was like come home. one was like time for dinner one was like do you want to play or whatever um and then like one year like only one came back so we were like oh maybe one died and then there was one that's fucking sad i know they don't live forever you know oh well my mom is like so attached to these fucking ducks and she really hopes that the mom comes back next year yeah well they're getting free food i mean i know i was like she's got it good i bet she comes back for sure.

Yeah, she must be like, and also the, I'm surprised that dad's not like, I don't need to go like foraging LA River for a trash, you know. You must be up to no good. I'm telling you. Yeah, he's a deadbeat dad. He's taking kids to hookers and the casino probably. For sure. Definitely.

All right. Well, I think this is a successful show. Great. What do you got coming up? I'm at home for a couple of weeks working on the house, trying to keep things on track while Matt's on vacation. Or is he? Matt is riding his motorcycle up the west coast with like 10 of his friends. Fun. Yeah. Camping along the way. I'm sorry, call me crazy. But if I'm going on vacation, I want like a

fucking fluffy king size bed and a fucking view of the ocean. But he wants to sleep on the side of the road in San Francisco. So good for him. He's doing that. And then I, what's my next gig? I think my next gig is in Vegas, actually, but it's not for a few weeks. So I'll give you guys the tea on that later. All right. Cool. Yeah. How long are you on this job for?

I leave on Friday, and then I fly to Hawaii. Oh, must be nice. Very nice. I fly to Hawaii, and then I'll be in Hawaii for a wedding. Yep. And then I fly home. Okay. And I'll be reunited with my wife, of whom I never see anymore.

Yeah. Oh, by the way, our pools leaking, so that's going to cost a freaking fortune. Oh. Good thing you're working. No kidding. All right, YFTIRs, we love you. We love you guys.

Hey, and just guys, don't buy your kids occurs, okay? Don't do it. Don't do it. And don't join an FLDS cult. Don't do that either. All right, well, until next week.

See you later. Love you, bye. Bye.