Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - See you in heaven, Marjorie

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

What do you think the Disney characters do after hours? Get absolutely trashed at a bar? The backyard birthday party that never ends must take a toll on them. Anywho, we’re on episode 241 now so if we start to recycle some content, deal with it, okay?! Brandi has been on a bender since Park City and has now joined Wells on the “maybe it’s time to stop drinking” train. Is alcohol the new cigarettes? Are we really collectively calling it quits here? Your hosts share their initial thoughts on The Bachelor and make their next Bachelorette prediction; then, Wells has lots to say about bidets and Allen wrenches. Lastly, they read some f*ck you very muches and play a voicemail from a Jehovah’s Witness ... enjoy!  Don’t forget to rate, review, and follow Your Favorite Podcast! Plus, keep up with us between episodes on our Instagram page, @yftpodcast and be sure to leave us a voicemail with your fave things at 858-630-1856!  Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers:  Blissy — Get better sleep now with Blissy and use YFT to get an additional 30% off at blissy.com/YFT  Farmer's Dog — Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/YFT. Plus, you get FREE shipping 

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print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code YOURFAVORITETHING to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code YOURFAVORITETHING. Do it. Oh, how's everyone doing? I'm back from Disney World, which by the way is so magical. I get it. I totally get it. It's a beautiful place. It's so fun. But can you imagine working there, keeping up that level of positivity, happiness, energy all day long. Oh my God. They've got to all go to the bar afterwards and just get trashed and be like, dude, I can't smile

anymore. Like the people that are like in the Mickey suits and in the goofy suits. I just wonder if like the smoking section backstage is just full of butts because it's all these snot nose kids yelling and screaming. You know, it's like one big crazy backyard birthday party and it never ends. Every day it's another screaming kid. Oh, man. Those cast members are the salt of the earth, man. They're the best people I've ever seen in my entire life. I don't know if I could do it.

I think I would lose my mind. It's good for them. Anyways, let's call Branzino. Let's cut her up. What up? I think I might have to go get Little Dog. Why? Is she done?

She's out there just fucking barking. Like she's getting paid, you know? I love that you have a dog named Little Dog. Zero effort went into that one. That's Miley's fault. It was her dog first. Yeah. It's a great name.

Like don't get me wrong. Like I, fantastic name, but that pretty good. It would be hilarious if it was like named by like a seven year old. Yeah. But she's a full grown adult and she was in her twenties. Oh, she, okay. And those were formative years. I still think for a while, a little dog, do you have a, do you have a medium sized dog and a big dog? Do you know how many times you've asked me this? I know, but it's still so funny. It's not, though. It is pretty hilarious. I think it was maybe funny the first time, but time two and three.

Listen, we're on episode 241. We got to start recycling some material there, sister. Yeah, I think you're right. The problem is I think the six people that listen to this podcast have listened since day one, and they know all the shit. Yeah, they're into the bit. You know, they're into the shtick that we're doing. I guess they are because they're still here. Speaking of, at the end of this, let's do some fuck you very much because we haven't done it in a while. Oh, yeah.

And I was reading some of them today. Got some good ones? Well, I'll tell you what. They're fucking you very much to themselves. It's insane. what do you mean there's some hate for us playing yfters on the show oh like they're hating on each other they're just like don't play those clips i don't want to hear them oh yeah and it's like but that's interesting But that's you guys. You can't fuck you very much yourself, can you? Yeah, you can.

I guess you can. Yeah. That's great. It's hilarious. Do I need to wrangle the beagle? Can you hear? No, I can't. Oh, okay, great.

How you doing? How is LA? How is the party for Miley's new song, Flowers? So there will be no video of me this week because i look like garbage okay because i've been on like a fucking bender since i left for park city utah yeah i think i've been slightly buzzed ever since last friday that's what i think actually i was wasted friday but then after that i was slightly buzzed up until last night through last night, really. Well, good for you. Good for me, but I think I'm done. I think I'm with you.

I think I like, I'm ready to give it up. Yeah, I know. I think I have to. Yeah, I know. We're just at that age. Maybe I gotta start like playing around with some weed strains. Maybe that's-

Honestly, I think so because everybody I know right now is just California sober. Yeah. And stays home to just get high on the couch and chill. I don't want to do that though. Because every time I smoke weed, I go into the bathroom and I look myself in the mirror and I'm like, get your life together.

What are you doing? It freaks me out, man. I don't know the answer. I just know that this can't be it. It's not. It's not. It doesn't feel great. I saw a video on TikTok and someone was like, is it just me or is alcohol today turning into like what smoking cigarettes were like 15 years ago?

Where everyone's realizing like this is, we shouldn't all be doing this. I think so. I know. But a bar is fun. It is fun. And you can't really enjoy it the same if you're not drinking alcohol. I know. You just can't.

You can't, you know? No. And that's their thing. Like, it's going to be tough having tacos without like a Pacifico. Yeah. Like, there are things that go with things. I know. Man.

Yeah. It's tough. You know, we're at a crossroads. I got back from Orlando. Yeah, I didn't know if you were still there or what was going on. I just, like I said, I've been blacked out for a week, so. Yeah. We got back a couple days ago, and I totally get Disneyland.

Like, I understand it. Like, it is so beautiful. Like, amazing. Like, fun. But the cast members there, I was talking to the YFT years before I called you like amazing, like fun. But the cast members there, I was talking to the YFT years before I called you, like they must, so when I used to wait tables, we'd all go get drinks afterwards

and it'd be like an industry bar that we'd all go to and we would all, it'd be like every restaurant kind of in Nashville would all come together and we would all just kind of lament about how much we fucking hate everyone that came to the restaurant, right? So for me, i worked at j alexander's yeah in cool springs and our spot was the tgi fridays oh really ours was ours was

spring water i think i don't even know what that is yeah and there's a place in hillsborough village we went to as well they have like industry on wednesday night anyways and and you know you just sit there and you'd be like fuck i had a five top and there was like four of them were kids and they were yelling and screaming leaving fucking sugar packets everywhere. And I'm like, oh, yeah, man. Well, I had a bunch of fucking people that didn't tip. And so all of us just like chain smoking cigarettes, just like taking whiskey shots, being like, fuck our lives. I fucking hate this fucking job.

And like that, I imagine that's what's happening with the cast members at Disney World and Disneyland. They just go to some bar and they're just like five five fucking snot-nosed kid with fucking sticky fingers, like wouldn't leave me alone. You know, like the people who play Goofy and Minnie, who are like so expressive and stuff. I imagine they come all together and they're just like, fuck my life. I hate kids.

I say that to say this. One day Sarah and I are going to have kids. Obviously this is not how I really feel, but it is kind of how i feel i never want to go to disneyland with kids ever i know i think you might have to like once maybe i know but like i'm i'm willing to pay for someone to take them but it just like every parent i see they're lugging so much shit they got stroller parking everywhere it seems like an absolute nightmare you have to go on shit rides you can't ride everything you know true jumping on it's a small world after

that's that stupid fucking ride all right sucks dude then sometimes you have like an older kid like a younger kid so like one parent has to go like on the shit ride with a younger kid and then one parent gets to go on like the cooler ride with the younger kid and then one parent gets to go on the cooler ride with the older kid. How do you decide that? Fucking rock, paper, scissors to see who gets to go on the shitty ride with the snot-nosed kid? It just seems like an absolute nightmare. But going in as an adult where you don't have any kids, boy oh boy.

Favorite thing. So fun. Yeah, are we going to get like a top five moments of Disney World? Oh yeah, you want to hear my favorites of Disney World? Yeah. Okay. Far and away, not even close.

Guardians of the Galaxy at Disney World. Very cool. I haven't read that. It's so fucking awesome. Guardians of the Galaxy at Disneyland is old Tower of Terror. And that's one of my favorite rides at Disneyland. But this one is so much better. It's an indoor roller coaster ride. You effectively have to like go

back in time to like go fight this like big giant creature thing. And the roller coaster is smooth as butter. So it's not like, it's not one of those, you know, one of those. Yeah. It's like a wooden roller coaster. Yeah. It's, it's on wheels. So it can pivot like sideways really smooth and then also goes up and down like a roller coaster. And so you're going down and spinning at the same time. And so it's like facing you towards the screens and stuff. And it's in the dark, which is – this is what Disney does very well. A lot of their roller coasters are indoors and in the dark. So you don't know how you know you think i'm not

like a hit with something you know like you don't know you don't know how high up you are yeah exactly you don't like where the turns are so that just it's like you have no idea and it's smart because if you saw it in the light our guide was telling us that is it um space mountain space mountain they're like do you know how fast you're going? And we're like, I don't know, like 60 miles an hour. He's like, no, man, Space Mountain, you're going 25 miles an hour. But it's, yeah, it's like one of those, he's like, we've ridden it with the lights on. And he's like, it's a-

So have I, actually. You have? It's been a long time, but yeah. Completely different ride, apparently. It is different, but it honestly is pretty scary how low the metal shit actually is. Like, you're not going to get a limb cut off,

but it's not that hot. Yeah. You feel a little claustrophobic when you turn the lights on. Yeah. So anyways, I highly recommend going to see Guardians of the Galaxy

in Disney World. So good. I would say- What about like food? Like top food? No, no, no. Let me do rides first and then we'll get into some food. Oh, okay.

I thought we were just going to do one ride. Number two, Everest. That's a ride? It's like an outdoor roller coaster ride and it's fast. It's balls. It's so much fun. Number three is the new Avatar ride. Sounds great. So it's a lot like Soarin'.

Okay. But the difference is is that you're on a banshee the dragons you know and soren you're sitting you know it kind of like leans you forward as if you're like hang gliding um yeah this one you kind of like get on it like a motorcycle okay but then the same thing like you start flying and you're like dipping and diving and you're like trying to run away from like the big dragon thing. And you go by the, you know, the, the, the sea world for the new, the new one. And it feels like you're riding the Banshee and is so, so fucking cool. Sounds great.

Yeah. And then, you know what? I'm still, I still love Soarin'. Soarin', I love, it's just, it's just so fun and so nice. Thunder Mountain. Still love Thunder Mountain. Oh yeah. Love', I love. It's just so fun and so nice. Thunder Mountain. Still love Thunder Mountain. Oh, yeah. Love.

I love an old school roller coaster. Yeah. Food wise. I tell you what, going up to the Bay Station dinner. You did that? Yeah. It's cool, but our food was not great. Really?

It wasn't great, but we had an amazing time. I'll tell you what, we spent the most amount of time in Mexico, in Epcot. That doesn't shock me at all. We went to Hacienda for lunch, there's a bar there. Very on brand for you, you know? Oh, yeah. Mexico's the best, guys. Yeah.

I don't know why. Stop pretending. Mexico's the best. Uh-huh. Open that border up, man. Let's get some more mexican restaurants up in here we did a drinking around the world video and i'm excited to release that because not that i really did get progressively more drunk but i started acting progressively more drunk and it's really funny because then i start doing the voices in France. I'm like, oh, and Sarah's just like, what the fuck is wrong with you? So anyways, Disney World is fan-freaking-tastic. It is, yeah.

Disney World, excuse me. I like them both. I'm a purist, though. Disneyland's my jam. Yeah. Disney World's too big, though. Disneyland's my jam. Yeah. Disney World's too big. That's what I was thinking. Yeah, it's just...

I mean, usually bigger is better, but, you know, in this case, maybe not. Yeah, it's three parks. It's a whole thing. I do think that upkeep of Disneyland is better than Disney World, and I think that's because of the size. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I forgot about Star Wars. Star Wars World or Land or whatever is so cool. We went to the cantina.

We had that drink that like numbs your mouth. I don't know how it does that. Whoa. Yeah. It's called a Fuzzy Tauntaun. Highly recommend. Okay. It's just so good.

Oh, and it was so funny. My brother who's never been to Disney Land or Disney World and like gives zero fucks about any of it, never seen any Disney movie. We went on the Frozen ride. And afterwards, he was like, I get it. We're like, what? He's like, that was fucking awesome. We're like, this is for kids. And he was like, oh, the music and the little snowman.

He's like, oh, my God, I loved it. And so now he's like going and watching Frozen movie and it was so funny to see like a 50 year old man be like in that ride be like, I totally get it. Cute. Yeah. You want to start the show? Yep.

Me or you? I have no clue. I think it's you. Yeah. I think so too. Yeah. Bros and hoes, you're listening to your favorite thing podcast with... Wells and Brandy. Wow, you are coming in low energy. All right, quick PSA for those of you out there who rent. If you haven't heard of Built, you're about to thank me.

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Odds are that you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce. If you're shipping, you gotta do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 89% off UPS, DHL, Express, and USPS rates. What, you don't want to save money?

Come on. Deliver a better customer experience with the industry-leading features that help you find the best carrier rates, print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code YOURFAVORITETHING to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code YOURFAVORITETHING. Do it. There she is. Still have the cough, by the way. Yeah. It's never going away.

Did you watch Bachelor? I did. You did? Yeah, I did. Okay, so did I. I saw your IG commentary. Yeah. Initial thoughts?

Okay, so initial thoughts. I think I'm going to like Zach more than I thought I would. Yeah. All the women are gorgeous. Totally. Like, is it just me or do they get prettier every season as a whole? I think people have gotten better with contouring. I don't know, but there's a couple girls that are, of course, my faves

that look like they're not wearing hardly any makeup at all and they're so beautiful and I love them. It sounds silly coming out of my mouth because I'm 35. But I felt like there were a good good handful of like, quote unquote, like older women, aka 30, the appropriate age to be getting married. I liked that, that not everybody was like 23. You know what I mean? So super pumped about that. I can already tell who your favorite is. I'm sure Kat is your fucking fave. Which one's Kat? Kat's the Looney Tune. No, that was Madison. No, Kat, the one who, when she came in, she's like, remember me?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she does it, and I'm like, oh, God. No, I don't know if. That's not your fave? No, I don't think so. I would have thought for sure. My fave was Madison, and I'm so frustrated that she left night one. She gone.

Sometimes I'm just like, can we get a producer in there to be like, guys, we got to float this girl for a couple more episodes. We got to squeeze every last drop out of this absolute head case. It was, she was so good. Her crying against the fence was beautiful. I loved it. I'm sure you did. No, I think Davia. I think she's cool.

I think she's very pretty. The Barbara Mandrell's daughter. I don't, I think she's on the wrong show. I think she's on the wrong show. Yeah. I don't think she's supposed to be there. And that frustrates me a little bit. Yeah.

So funny. I think she was cast for the Kevin Jonas show. Yeah. And then ABC was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Well, let's send her over to The Bachelor. This seems like a better thing. So I do like this girl, Kimberly. So Kimberly was the one.

Which one is she? She had short kind of blonde hair. And she's the one that like when Madison starts losing her mind, it's like crying outside. Kimberly's just like talking to her and her eyes are just wide open, like wide, wide eyed. And she's just like, you could see the inner monologue of like, this bitch is crazy. Oh man. But she's like, you're worth that. You know, she's like trying to pump her up or whatnot. I was like, I was like, I like this chick. i think she's funny okay a greer so oh she's i can't believe she got the first impression rose well have you heard that shocked me did you hear the

like she so she's like under fire because she's the one who like defended a friend on Twitter for doing blackface. No. Oh, I thought that was, oh, I did hear that. Yeah. Not funny. Okay. If you are going on the show and you have ever done or defended blackface, you're not allowed to go on the show.

That should be number one question. Hey, thoughts, thoughts and feelings on blackface, go. And if it's not like that's fucked up, we shouldn't do it. That's not your first initial response. If your first initial response starts with, well, out of there. Out of there. Yeah, I agree. If he fucking gets engaged to this chick, it's going.

There's no way. Well, that's what happened with Rachel McConnell. But she didn't do blackface. She went to a Southern Belle party or whatever. Yeah. But anyways. Not that that's any worse or any better.

I don't even know. I went down a rabbit hole and she's like a MAGA supporter. Oh God. Listen, anyone can be what any type of political party they want to be in. But I think if you got pictures

with like a MAGA hat on, you've gone too far to one side. For television just for like also like if you have crazy biden stuff or something you've gone too far you've gone too far in one direction we need you kind of down the middle because you're gonna be a nightmare at fucking thanksgiving regardless true true there's one girl who seemed like she was having diarrhea anxiety shits all night long and like was like, I don't know what I'm doing here. But it was like very genuine. Jess. I liked Jess.

They never look anything like their stupid portraits online. Yeah, I know. Never do. I'm like, wait, some of these girls. I'm like, who are they? I'm sorry, Christina. There's something about her. I know everyone's saying it, but she looks so much like Kelsey Ballerini.

Oh, this is Barbara Mandrell's daughter? Yeah. Yeah, I can see that. It's something about her eyes. Like, I don't know. Yeah, I can see that. I can see that. Wait, Jess?

Did she have on a pink dress? Yeah, and she was just, like, terrified the entire time. But he kissed her. But I think she was the one with not very much makeup on that was so beautiful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm bummed that he got rid of Holland. She seemed like she could have been a hot mess express. I agree.

You know? Yeah. I think it might have been Katie that I really thought was going to get the first impression. Or maybe it was Catherine. Is Katie the one that spells her name K-A-I-T-Y? Yeah. Hey, that's not how you spell that name at all. You know what?

Let her live, okay? No. Yeah. To, that's not how you spell that name at all. You know what? Let her live, okay? No. Yeah. To her parents. So it's confusing because Katie and Catherine are both nurses, and they both kind of look alike. And I can't remember which one is which, but there was one that I really thought was going to get that first impression,

Rose. Yeah. A lot of nurses on this season, you know? Yeah. Everyone's so beautiful. It's nuts. What are your thoughts on zach so i think i like him more than i thought i would just in the sense of like at first i thought he was

gonna be someone that's just way too fucking nice you know and but he but he he told your girl to hit the bricks you know he was like he right, you know, being brutally honest and saying, this is not working for me, you gotta go. So I was like, okay, all right. Listen, you don't need to be the most gregarious, outspoken, hilarious person to be The Bachelor. Like I've said it before, it's not about the lead, it's about the stars are, is the cast.

His voice sounds like Carl's voice. It's like, Hey, how's it going? And the more I hear it, the more I can, I just hear the spirit of my dead dog fucking in this guy's voice. Very interesting.

Hey, how's it going? Holland. A lot of the women say his voice is very sexy. I know, but that's that thing that you do when you see something. Like if you run into somebody and they're wearing some fucking crazy outfit, the first thing you do is you compliment that crazy outfit because you got to say something. You got to say something out.

You got to put it out there because you're like, fuck, I can't stop. I can't stop looking at this thing. I think that's what's happening with the voice. They're like, well, I don't know what's going on with his voice. Here's the thing. I'm going to hang out with him next week. Oh, perfect. Give us the tea. So don the thing. I'm going to hang out with him next week. Oh, perfect. Give us the tea.

So don't worry. I'm going to have so many Zach. Yeah, I'm probably going to come back and be like, he's a wonderful guy, and I'm totally rooting for him. But I'm glad I had this experience beforehand so I can be like, who is this guy? Also, his last name. Oh, not great. Zach Sh Shallcross. Yeah.

What? What are you, part of Game of Thrones? You shall not cross! Okay. My only complaint, and I say this on my stories, there weren't a lot of, like, kooky entrances. No, there weren't. Like, so Barbara Mandrell's daughter,

by the way, she's only going to be Barbara Mandrell's daughter. I'm never going to learn her name. The whole time. And Paradise coming up and be like, oh, it's Barbara Mandrell's daughter she's by the way she's only gonna be Barbara Mandrell's daughter I'm never gonna learn her name the whole time in paradise coming up and be like oh it's Barbara Mandrell's daughter unless she gets it she's gonna hate you for that sorry she got a party bus which I thought was ridiculous cause they ended up utilizing it cause everyone came in there

and I do like that she didn't kind of bitch and moan about that the one girl came with a trombone player cause she was from baton rouge like that was cool it was all right i liked the pig the pig was cool but then i felt bad because she's gonna be no pig girl for the rest of the time you know there's worse things though pigs are so cute that's true but also girls don't be called pigs no no but i love pig they're adorable. I know. But I'm looking for people being wacky. I know, there weren't. Because I did that.

I had the band, you know? I had like a shtick, and it's... Yeah, I know. Yeah, I think they're just like really trying to play it safe this year. That might backfire. It might. Yeah.

Yeah, we'll see. Last thing. Who's going to be the next Bachelorette? Oh, God. Night one, man. You got to do it. Do you? I think so.

I think it's way too early to know. Like, I don't even know anyone's name, you know? I know. I'm going to kill the Beagle. I think they're going a blonde bombshell. I think they need to go blonde. It's been a minute. I could see Barbara Mendrell's daughter being it.

You could. Yeah, I mean, she's got a story, I guess. I don't really want that, but yeah. I's been a minute. I could see Barbara Mandrell's daughter being it. You could. Yeah. I mean, she's got, she's got a story, I guess. I don't really want that, but yeah. I could totally see it. I really, not that she's going to be the bachelorette, but I'd really like Bailey. I'm going with Davia. There's not a lot of blondes, honestly. I'm going with, she's not blonde, but I'm going with Davia.

It might also be Katie. I like Katie. It seems like Katie goes from like the super tease and stuff. It looks like she goes far. Yeah, I know. Genevieve's beautiful, but there could be only one Genevieve on the Bachelorette. True, very true. I can't have two Genevieves. No, we can't. And like, well, listen,

Genevieve number one is like irreplaceable. I'm voting that Davia is going to be the Bachelorette. Really? Yep. Okay, make your vote and then let's get on with the fucking show. I can't. It's too early. Come on. It'd be fun. I guess Katie. That spells your name K-A-I-T-Y?

Uh-huh. Okay, that's a good guess. Yeah. Okay. All right, that's enough batches. Brianna is so gorgeous, by the way. Holy shit. They're all hot.

I know. I'm just looking at photos. Brianna's just stunning. Yeah. Okay. They cast it well. I'll say that. Yeah, they really did.

All right, that's enough batch. All right. All right. it well. I'll say that. Yeah, they really did. Alright, that's not a batch. Alright. You got some favorite things, bro? I re-watched The Last of Us with my mother. Oh, yeah? What does Tish think of it? She actually loved it, and I was surprised. I didn't really peg my mom for a zombie gal. You know? I'm an idiot. I didn't realize that Pedro

Pascal was the prince in Game of Thrones. Oh, yeah. The Dorne prince. I don't know why. I guess that the season he was on really truly came out so long ago. He looks so young in that show. And obviously he looks his age in this one. And I just like when I Googled him with my mom, I was like, oh, my God. He's I forget. I forget his name, but like the prince that's from Dorne.

Yeah. Whoa. Mind blown. Yeah. The show's good. I finally I watched the second episode. The zombies are scary. They're very scary.

Yeah. If you guys haven't seen this, maybe spoiler alert. Give us like two minutes starting now. I'm kind of surprised that they killed the woman. I know. In episode two, because she's like a big, she's strong in the HBO family. She was like one of the main characters in The Leftovers. I'm not sure if you ever watched that show.

Loved that show. And so, oh, she's going to be in this thing this entire time. Yeah. And they sacrificed her in the second episode. I know. But her death is great. She's very good. She's so,

fantastic actor. So good. Everyone's so far been really good in this. The way she dies. It's insane. The kiss with the things coming out.

It's so gross, but so good. It's so gross. I don't know if you, do you ever watch after the episode where they talk about it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. she's it's it was interesting to hear her say like that's not how I saw the scene going and then when we shot it that's how it went and it felt so right but she

was like in my mind I played so differently and I thought that was interesting yeah yeah yeah that show's great it's so good yeah it's it's fantastic Did the zombies resemble the Stranger Things? Oh, yeah. The Demogorgon a little bit? Yeah, a little bit, don't they? I feel like the same person had to have worked on both or something. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of cool what happens to their heads.

Like it turns into a mushroom, but it also kind of looks like a brain around it, you know? I know. And then the teeth. I love the idea of the mycelium coming up from the ground because that's how trees communicate is through mycelium in the ground. And yeah, it's really cool. It's also terrifying. I know.

It's just too, it's too realistic for me. Like, I feel like this could happen. I just don't like the idea of like something that I wasn't scared of. I'm now scared of, I know, like I take mushroom pills every day. Like, should I keep doing that? I was trying to visit the South American rainforest at some point in my life, but now I just don't know why what's happening down there. Fungus grows. Yeah. But it can't, it can't hurt humans. It hurts bugs. It can't until it does, you know? Very true. Like the show. You could be.

God. I mean, I do run pretty hot. What if my body temperature is higher than your average human one day and a fucking fungus just takes me over? True. I get it. Scary. Terrifying. Yeah.

Speaking of terrifying, I finally watched Smile and I don't think I can watch that I'm telling you I used to be terrified and hated and would never watch scary movies and I don't know what's happened in my old age

but I absolutely love them now like I can't like I don't get scared I get kind of scared actually like last night I went to go take a pee and I was like looking around like uh oh I don't want to, actually. Like last night, I went to go take a pee, and I was like looking around like, uh-oh. I don't want to get the smile demon to get me.

I love them now. I don't know why, but I do. And if you haven't seen Smile, and you kind of like scary movies, please go see it. It's fantastic. The way it's shot is very Stephen King-esque. The acting in it is beautiful.

That's the one thing that usually falls by the wayside when it comes to horror movies. It's kind of like hokey and shitty acting. This one is very, very good. After witnessing a bizarre traumatic incident involving a patient, a psychiatrist becomes increasingly convinced she's being threatened by an uncanny entity. Smile. The girl is Sosie Bacon. So she is Kevin Bacon and Keira Sedgwick's daughter.

But she looks exactly, exactly like Megan Edmonds King from Real Housewives. Hmm. For the first like 20 minutes of it, I was like, I didn't know she was an actress, which is funny because I went to college with her actually. Really? Yeah. Not Soci Bacon, but Megan Edmonds. She's great. Cal Penn is in it.

He was in Harold and Kumar. Oh, yeah. The cast is so good. The acting is phenomenal. The demon is like the scary thing in it is very scary. It follows the rules of a horror film to the T. The ending is a little weird, but I enjoyed it. Sarah thought it was a little hokey, but that's also that kind of goes with like, you don't show the scary thing until the end. Like it really followed the rules really well. The way it was shot was great.

A lot of establishing shots and like you'll see like it starts where like a lot of these establishing shots are kind of drone shots. And it starts out right side up. And then every shot that they have an establishing shot starts to turn. And by the end, it's completely upside down because everything's gone completely upside down for this woman. Like it's so well done. I can't tell you. I told Sarah. Right now, it's my favorite movie of this past year.

Wow. I know. So good. All right. Go check it out. Smile. And fuck, it's scary. Very g. Go check it out. Smile. And fuck it's scary. Very gory.

Ew. Yeah. I don't know if that's for me. I know. See, I'm the opposite as you. When I was younger, I loved scary movies and I didn't mind gory stuff. But now that I'm older, I'm... I watched about 20 minutes of Bros.

What's that? It's Billy Eichner's movie and it's like the first gay rom-com oh it's kind of old yeah but i finally watched it yeah i'm gonna go ahead and say it didn't love didn't love i think he hired too many of his friends because there's a lot of bad acting in it he sings for some reason. It's not necessary. He doesn't do the thing that he does so well, outrageous yelling comedy.

He did so well on Billy on the Street and he was fantastic on Parks and Rec. Kind of plays it like low key and you're like, but hold on, you can't go away from your comedy. You need to do the thing that got you here. Dance with the girl who brought you, bro. It just didn't do it for me. It had all the makings of a great film.

The producers of Trainwreck and Bridesmaid and the director of Forgetting Sarah Marshall were all working on this project. Billy Echner's hilarious. It has all the makings of being a fantastic film, and it just didn't do it for me. And I feel terrible about it. Well, damn. I know. So anyways. Bummer.

Bummer. Oh, you know what's back? What? How I Met Your Father. Yeah, is it any good? I'm obsessed with it. Oh, you like it? But listen, I love a Hilary Duff sitcom, you know?

Yeah. I love it. I loved Younger. I was obsessed with it. And I love this. Sarah was the one who was like, I think I want to start watching it. And I'm like, I don Younger. I was obsessed with it. And I love this. Sarah was the one who was like, I think I want to start watching it. I'm like, I don't know. It's so hard to recreate something that already was such a good thing. See, I never watched How I Met Your Mother.

Oh, it's fantastic. That's what everybody says, but I've never seen it. Really? Maybe that's why I like this so much. But my best friend Kirsten loved How I Met Your Mother. I watched it and she loves this. OK. I don't know. All right.

Good to know. I mean, I'm sure it's very different. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I just I love Hillary and I love Samantha. What's her name in real life? Samantha from Sex and the City. Oh, I forgot Francie is in it, too.

Oh, yeah. Sarah doesn't watch it. Chris Lowell is who i love jesse yeah jesse he's british right everyone's pretty great like i just really think it's so cute the thing i fucking hate is that episodes are so short they come out once a week i just want to binge it oh i'm, tragedy. Speaking of reboots, we started to watch That 90s Show. Oh, is it good? Yeah, I figured. Okay, so here's the thing. If you're a fan of That 70s Show, which I was very much so.

Loved. The thing that's great about That 90s show is the cast from that 70s show red and kitty are still first of all they look exactly the same i don't know how that worked but like because i remember watching that show thinking they looked old then and they still look great that's so crazy um red's his character has changed a little bit now he's grandpa, he's a little different than as dad. I always thought he was like one of the best characters on that show. And then, you know, Topher Grace and Donna and Kelso, like all of them are great. Like they just, we were able to like fall back into those roles very, very easily.

Obviously they did forever it's the kids that aren't doing it for me yet and maybe they'll get better as the show goes on but i wonder if they spent too much money on getting the original cast back that they didn't have any money for the kids that's very probable yeah yeah. Yeah. So anyways, we're going to stick with it, but we're on the fence right now. Okay. I have a question for you. Oh,

okay. Okay. So last week we were talking about the Toto bidet. Yes. And how it's the greatest thing in the world. One of my favorite things in the world. And I, how I love bidet,

but I don't know if I love like the OG bidets. Do you know what I'm talking about? So yeah, like the ones that are in like old hotels in Europe. Yes, and they had them at Disney World and so we had one there and so you have your toilet and then next to it you have a bidet, right? Yeah.

And there's like knobs and stuff. Okay, I have questions. Okay. Number one, are you supposed to sit down on it or are you squatting over it? Honestly, I don't really know. It is a lot lower to the ground.

And there's no seat really. It's like if you try to sit down on a toilet seat where the lid was up. Yes. So I think you're supposed to squat over it. Now here's my second question. And this was up to much debate amongst the folks at Disney World. Are you supposed to face forward or face the wall? Forward, like a toilet, right?

That's what I thought. But a lot of people are like, no, you're supposed to face the wall because the little knobs and stuff are then in front of you instead of like trying to turn the knobs behind you. But then does it shoot the wrong direction? I don't think so. Oh. I don't, I honestly don't know. Do you Google it? Like, are you supposed to ride it like a motorcycle

or are you supposed to ride it like, this is what I don't love about it so much because it's because, so usually this is how it was. The toilet was on the right side. The bidet was in the left side, but on, on where the toilet was, the, the toilet paper was obviously on the right side of the toilet. So once you wash your ass from the bidet, you're far away from the toilet. So it's a, it's a toilet paper. So it's, it's a lot of waddling and I don't love a waddle,

especially, you know, if I, if I have like had some diarrhea or something. And so you, you take your, your dump, your dumper, and then you waddle on over to the bidet of which you're then, so if you are supposed to go forward, then you're reaching back and you're trying to like figure out the knobs in the right temperature. I swear to God, I must've, I got third degree burns on my butthole because I did hot too much, you know? And then there's a knob in the middle where you got to turn up the stream with, you know, it's like, it's like hit the bunghole. Right. And then so much has happened for you and your thighs are burning like crazy like you're doing wall sits over here. And then you got to waddle back on over to the toilet

to get the paper to pat dry. True. This is why the Toto's genius. I know. Now, don't get me wrong. I still enjoy it. But man, oh, man, it's a lot of work to clean, clean up over there. Yeah. And also, here's the other thing that I don't love about it so much. This didn't happen to me, but like, the drain in it isn't like a toilet where you flush it. And like what happens if you've got like particles coming down, you know? You shouldn't have that. You shouldn't have that.

Well, yes, you should because that's the whole point of – so like for a traditional bidet, then are you supposed to like wipe first? I think so. And then go over to the bidet? I think so. Okay. That would be what I – my thought. Because otherwise you're like shuffling over there with shit all over you. I don't know. Okay. That would be my thought. Because otherwise you're like shuffling over there with the shit all

over you. I don't know. I feel like you wipe first, right? And then you go over there for a quick rinse just to get clean. Oh my god. What? I think you're supposed to sit on it facing the wall. Really? Wait, no. That one is maybe for your vagina.

Which is really nice, might I add. Here's what Go Ask Alice says. Bidets come in many shapes and sizes. Similarly, they're used in a variety of ways. For the most conventional, stand-alone bidets, the following steps may be helpful when attempting to use for the first time. Number one, always use a toilet before using a bidet.

The bidet isn't an actual toilet. Good to know. Don't take a shit in the first time. Number one, always use a toilet before using the bidet. The bidet isn't an actual toilet. Good to know. Don't take a shit in the bidet. Oh shit. That's so funny though, because I can totally see people doing that and be like, I don't know. Okay. Number two, mount the bidet. You may straddle, sit, hover, or squat facing either direction. It really depends on where you want the water jets to hit and how you're the most comfortable. Some people find that straddling the bidet to face the nozzle gives the best control over the jet settings and water temperature. You may need to take your pants off in order to comfortably mount the bidet without getting your clothing wet. Okay. So yeah,

I can see that because if you have your pants on, you can't face towards the wall. Right. Right? So you have to get completely ass taken in there. Got it. Okay, number three. If adjustable, make changes to water temperature and pressure so that the experience is comfortable for you. Beware of notoriously powerful jets.

This is what happened to me. The third degree burns. you. Beware of notoriously powerful jets. This is what happened to me. The third degree burns. It may be helpful to inspect the bidet before turning the water on so you can identify where the water will come out and position your body accordingly. Stories abound of unwary users getting a jet of water in the face. That would be so gross. Number four, readjust your position so that the water hits the areas you want to clean. Some bidet models fill with water instead of spraying jets. In this case, use the water and your hands to clean your genitals and the anal area as you would in a shower.

What? That's just a bowl of water. No, no. Dry off. Some bidets have a heat setting or built-in air dryers for that purpose, Toto. If not, you may decline to use toilet paper for a designated towel? I don't know about that. I don't know about that either. Okay, this says, note that most bidets don't have seats but are still meant to be sat upon and just sit directly on the rim.

Really? Why wouldn't they just put a seat in there? I'm not sure. One more fucking thing to clean? I don't know. I know, but, like, come on. Don't be a dick bidet company. Let me get a nice a seat in there? I'm not sure. One more fucking thing to clean? I don't know. I know, but come on, don't be a dick bidet company. Let me get a nice comfy seat. I guess so.

It's looking like you can face either direction from what I'm seeing. Mind blown. I thought for sure, why would you do a whole 90 degree turn? Or a 180 degree turn, I guess i guess yeah the more you know you know i know well anyways we've gotten so much airplay from bidets recently recently i'm not i got a bone to pick oh okay hey companies like ikea or any company where I got to put shit together. Can we please stop using the Allen wrench for just one build?

Okay? Can't stand the Allen wrench. Why can't you just have a screwdriver? I have no idea why it has to be the Allen wrench and the Allen wrench key. I guarantee you they're cheaper to make. Yes. And furthermore, if we're just going to accept the fact that we are using Allen wrenches to build our bullshit IKEA furniture, screwdriver companies, can you please make an attachment that goes in the screwdriver that fits in all the Allen wrench holes? I don't understand why you can't have that. Because then I can just instead of sitting there turning it like a fucking idiot.

I'm so frustrating. I've gotten to the point now where I'm like, I'm going to get my hacksaw. I'm going to take this Allen wrench. I'm going to cut off one of the ends. So then it's just a straight Allen wrench. And then I can just put it in my drill. Yeah, I think they're just trying to fuck with us. They're like, you know, what's the most annoying way to do this? Well, if they have to spin it with their finger in a clockwise motion constantly and it always falls out, you know, and it's always like stripping in there.

Do better. Damn. What are you putting together? Nothing. I was just thinking about it the other day. My brain works in mysterious ways. Interesting. I'm like, maybe I should start a company where I just sell the Allen wrench straights.

Yeah. Not at a curve. Genius. It's not a bad idea. No, it's not. I used to be such a healthy person. No, I'm just constantly sick. Yeah.

You know what you got to do? You got to make yourself some immunity shots. I do this every once in a while. Yeah, I know. I should. Yeah. Lemon juice, some ginger, some cayenne pepper. I know.

I know. Some turmeric. Right. And it's also, by the way, don't ever buy that shit, go out a juicer. You can make it yourself for no money. Yeah. And then you go to the juicer and they're like $12. What is this?

It's ridiculous. I have all these ingredients at home. Everything's so expensive. It's stupid. Yeah, I know. Do you want to do some fuck you very muches? Uh-huh. Okay, this comes from Calalily13.

Subject line, just my opinion, but five stars. Thank you for that. I really don't like the recordings of the phone calls from the listeners. I feel like they're just trying to make you all like them. They don't seem like they're being natural. I would probably sound the same way if I called you, but it's not interesting to me. I'd rather just hear y'all, okay?

Okay, wow. Well, I mean, here's the thing, like, this isn't really a fuck you very much to us. This is a fuck you very much to yourself, to your fellow YFTers. Yeah. Dirty, honestly. I know, man. I mean, thank you for you guys. We just want to is a fuck you very much to yourself to your fellow yf tears yeah dirty honestly i know man i mean thank you for you guys you guys which want to listen to our voices but i guess so we wanted to kind of make this interactive i guess yeah this is from page bayo subject line love the show but

please dot dot dot ellipses five stars thank you for that i cringe so hard listening to YFTers' voicemails. I have to skip the last part of every episode. Wow. I guess this is giving me a confidence boost in a weird way. You know, I was over here thinking, like, anybody could do my job, but apparently not. That being said, if you guys want to call in to YFT and leave a voicemail, the number is 858-630-1856. Again, 858-630-1856. Call YFT and we'll put you on the air. Well, shit.

Or maybe not. Yeah. This one's kind of funny. It comes from Reality Please. Subject line unsubscribe. Five stars. Thank you for that. line unsubscribe. Five stars. Thank you for that. I've always enjoyed this pod, but the conversations just feel insanely privileged about all the wealth and money, money to experiences. First of all,

is money to experience a word? I don't know if like money anyways, can't relate anymore. And I find it depressing. Well, maybe if you worked harder, my God, out of touch host with what life is like for normal people and families. I feel like this is coming off the heels of you telling parents that they have to sit in the back of the plane with the kids. No, it's not. I blame you for this. Maybe it's you talking about your bougie golf vacations.

Okay. Maybe. Maybe so. I feel like this is a lose-lose situation. Yeah. Either I tell you-lose situation. Yeah. Either I tell you about my daily life. Yeah. Or I don't and you guys tell me that I'm not authentic enough.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that I'm not like, I feel like I got shit for not being vulnerable enough and like open. All right, well, which one is it? Do you want to hear about my fucking like sometimes bougie life or do you want me to shut the fuck up and not talk about what I'm doing? Yeah. Do you want to hear about my fucking like sometimes bougie life or do you want me to shut the fuck up and not talk about what I'm doing? Yeah. Also, I would say this, though, like Brandy and I are kind of riding the coattails of actual bougie-ness.

Yeah. Oh, I'm riding it. I always say, you know, like once or twice a year I'm flying on the PJ to somewhere really fucking great. And the rest of the year I'm slumming it in the middle seat on Southwest Airlines, you know? You are a Southwest girl and I do not know how you- I'm a Southwest girly. They usually do me right. This last time they did not. Well, they did the country wrong.

Well, yeah, I know. They really did me dirty in Burbank this last week. But typically I love a Southwest flight. Like I'm a Southwest girly through and through. Here's the other thing though. I opened up with a story about how I used to wait tables and like. I used to also wait tables. When I started my career at Lightning as a radio DJ, I was making $30,000 a year,

which is way below the average for like a 25-year-old with a college degree in that sector or whatever. I paid my dues. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So anyways. Whatever. You can't please them all you know no she gave us five stars i really don't care if you guys want to uh talk some shit to us uh please rate and review at the podcast store and uh the apple app we don't care what the fuck you

say as long as you just do five stars and yeah we need some more of these because these are these make me laugh so much yeah yeah we haven't done that in a while. It's so good. I did have one thing. So this is a video taken at BYU, a guy asking BYU students what they hate about living in Utah. What's the number one thing you hate about living in Utah? Oh, number one thing. Probably all the witches that are in Salt Lake City. Man, it's got to be all the witches in Salt Lake City. The time I went up to Salt Lake, there were so many witches. The witches. Witches in Salt Lake City.

The witches in Salt Lake City. What about the witches of Waverly Place? Here's what I'm gathering from you Mormons. Are you stuck in the Salem witch era? So you think that there are real witches? I mean, do you think they think that? 17 guys just said the witches. So maybe it's like a...

Like, is it an inside joke? I don't think so. I think that they think people are witches. Your religion is fanciful enough that now you think that there's a bunch of witches walking around. Or are they flying around on broomsticks? Do they have a cauldron that they're fucking throwing filet of Philly bats in? I have Newton Toe of Dog in, too.

In what world are you guys living? I don't know. Do we need to go there? Do we need to go to the BYU? We need to go find the Witches of Utah. Also, great band name. Can someone please start a band called the Witches of Utah? Very good, yes.

You guys are fucking armpits, number one, getting crabs up in armpits. Yeah. You're soaking your dick in a vagina, which, sorry, guys, is sex. Even weirder, you're having your buddy jump on the bed, and you think witches live in Utah. Do you live in, like, Lord of the Rings time? What world are we living in, guys? I don't know, but I want to find out. I think we need to go there and interview people and get some fucking answers.

We do. Yeah. We need some fucking answers. Yeah. By the way, I got a call from a Jehovah's Witness, I think. Oh, love that for you. I am so upset I missed this call. Good afternoon.

My name is Marjorie. Hey, Marjorie. I'm one of Jehovah's Witnesses. All right. Off to a blazing start. My purpose of calling this afternoon is to share the Bible's answer to a question. Okay. The question is, is it realistic to hope that there will be an end to violence and war. Yeah. What do you think? Well, the Bible gives the answer. It's Psalm 37, 10 and 11. Okay.

It says just a little while longer and the wicked will be no more. Okay. You will look at where they were. Yeah. And they will not be there. Cool. But the meek will possess the earth. And they will find exquisite delight in the abundance of peace. So that's a very comforting thought.

I guess if you're meek. And it's a wonderful hope for the future. If you'd like to learn more, I want to invite you to go to our website. I don't want to go there either. JW.org. JW. You will find helpful answers to many other Bible questions. Oh, okay. Thank you, Marjorie.

I wouldn't. I won't. Okay. Okay. Not going to call it. Should we call her? No. I won't. This number, 615. Okay. Okay. 0469. Not going to call it. Should we call her? No.

Thank you very much and have a wonderful day. I'm sorry, but she sounds like a gem. First of all, Marjorie, how the fuck did you get my number? She's like, we want to answer this question. How would you feel if it was just peace and prosperity? Yeah, fuck yeah. I'm down with that. But also, Marjorie, how do you feel about the witches of Utah?

Okay? Let's call her that. We got bigger problems, Marjorie. We got witches over in Utah. We got people fucking armpits. What are we doing? I think Marjorie sounds like a gem of a human being that she is spending her precious time calling people to save their souls and preach the good word. Okay?

Yes, I know. But. Meanwhile, I'm over here flipping people off that cut me off on the road. You know, screaming at people that fucking don't give me the answer I want at the airport. Like, she's a lovely human. Yes, she's great. But also, mind your own fucking business. You're so terrible.

You shouldn't be calling people. I'm sorry. Why not? Because I didn't ask for this. I find it very harmless. I, of course, do too. I just don't like the fact that the Jehovah's Witnesses have my number. I mean, it's...

Before you know it they're gonna come knocking on your door i know i'm gonna go dress up like a witch go put on go put on my lord of the rings costume oh man i love her she seems like such a wonderful person lovely here's my thing with religious people like that. Because you see them, you know when you see them on the street and they fucking come up and talk to you and you're just like, what's upsetting about it is that I would never do that to you. I wouldn't push my beliefs on someone else because I have manners. Right. That's not the right thing to do.

She really wasn't very pushy though. She was just. She called my personal cell phone number. That's as pushy as it gets. No. She was a sweetie. I want to be friends with her. No, you don't.

Yeah. No, because. I want to hang out with Marjorie in the park and preach the good word. She's going to be like, let's fucking read the Bible. And I'm like, no, let's not do that. I'm going to hell. But. Yep. be like, let's fucking read the Bible. And I'm like, no, let's not do that. I'm going to hell. But I think the meek will inherit the earth thing was written by meek people. That's for sure. For sure.

They're like, it sucks right now because we don't have the courage to stand up for ourselves. But you know what? One of these days, it's going to be our turn. I'm going straight to hell and I apologize. And I imagine I'm going to get a lot of hate. I'm going to get a lot of hate. But it is funny. It's so funny. Yeah. Anyways.

I'll see you in heaven, Marjorie. I'm going to be there with you. We're all going to the same place. You're terrible. All right. You got anything else? I do not. All right.

What should we go out on? Is there a good Jehovah's? I can't remember the flowers. No, we did it already. We're only playing flowers forever. No. Is there a Jehovah's Witness song? I don't know.

Let's look up and see if there's Witches of Utah. Let's play my buddy's band, All Them Witches. Remember that band? No. They were a Nashville band. I love them. By the way, I posted that video of me saying that like I thought that Flowers

was about masturbation. And people came for me. Yeah, they did. And people came for me. Yeah, they did. And I wanted to be like, okay, but hold on. Her sister is telling me to post this. You know?

Yeah. Oh, this is perfect. We're going to go out with All Them Witches, a song called When God Comes Back. Okay. All right, YFTers, if you are going to the AT&T Pro-Am at Pebble Beach, I will be there with Dean and Ben and Bob Guinea and Zach Shalcross.

Oh, wow. And maybe Andy Firestone. I don't know. It's a big old bachelor hootin' Annie. So we'll be down there if you are up there, depending on where you live. If you want to come hang out with us, that's where we'll be. What do you got coming up?

What do I have coming? Oh, my mother is coming in town today. Okay. She's coming to Nashville. And we are taking a fucking road trip up to Ashland, Kentucky. Cool. Where she's from to see her high school friends.

Oh, nice. Lord help me. How did you get roped into that? I have no idea. Damn. I know. So we're doing that and then I'll be in LA.

I come out to LA on Thursday. So see you there, brah. Perfect. We'll do a show live. Live. In concert. Not live, but live. Yeah.

All right, YFTers. We love you. If you want to call in and leave but live. Yeah. All right, YFTers, we love you. If you want to call in and leave a voicemail, even though other YFTers are talking shit about you doing that, we still highly recommend it. The number 858-630-1856. If you want to leave us a review in the podcast app, say whatever the fuck you want.

I prefer you guys talk shit. Just give us five stars. That's all I really care about. Yeah. And we'll see you next time. Love y'all. Love ya. Bye. Except for Marjorie. I love Marjorie. Don't do that to her. I know. I love you Marge. Don't call me though.

I'm going to hell. I don't listen to my voicemails. I'm going to send her a text message saying hey this is my new number and it's going to be your number yeah sounds good you're going to save your soul stay away from all them witches in Utah no I'm going to

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