Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Snail Trails and Hatfishing with Keltie Knight

Episode Date: May 27, 2020

This week on YFT, Keltie Knight joins Wells and Brandi to talk about her favorite things (adult stickers, anyone?) and to tell us about the LadyGang’s new book, Act Like a Lady, which includes a very important dictionary with words that will soon become a permanent part of your vocab. The hosts talk about their feelings on handjobs (are they overrated?), head injuries (suh-many), and their new potential theme-song (even though it’s Ep 104). Brandi and Wells have plenty of fave things to introduce you to this week, including Russian TV shows and Michelle Rodriguez. As usual, we ask very important questions like, will we ever see each other again in person? And should we write a book? Let us know your thoughts. Thanks, YFTers! Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers. SHIPSTATION– Try ShipStation FREE for 60 days when you go to ShipStation.com, click on the mic at the top of the home page, and use code YFT! NUTRAFOL– Go to Nutrafol.com and use promo code YFT to get 20% off, plus free shipping on every order BEST FIENDS– Download Best Fiends for free on the Apple App Store and Google Play

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Hello. Hello. You do know it's summer, right? right yeah but it's also eight in the morning and my hair looks like shit so i got a fucking hoodie on and a beanie all right lay off me lady haven't seen the beanie in a hot minute well you know here i'll take it off for you here we go it's getting bad that bad huh, I actually trimmed it the other day, so it's not looking terrible. But I took a shower before bed last night and then just went to bed with wet hair. And then now it's just like the most curly.

You know, because I didn't do anything. I didn't blow dry. I didn't add any product. Wait, you normally blow dry your hair? This is a new thing in the past year that I've come do anything. I didn't blow dry. I didn't add any product. Wait, you normally blow dry your hair? This is a new thing the past year that I've come to learn. And I will hate right off the bat, right off the bat, not even an ad, but I'm throwing it out there. The Dyson hair dryer that Sarah has is the Tits McGeester. I can't tell you the last time I've used a hair dryer and not because of

quarantine well you know my hair's hard to tame so you know you get that hair dryer and you know it does it all it can do really uh your studio looks like it's really coming together i know right it's looking pretty good i need more of the sound barrier things. And also Amazon, get your dick out your face because I ordered a fucking rug like a month ago and it was supposed to be here like within days. And now it's just like stuck. And I don't know what to do because it's like in California now. You know, you can watch that you track that shit like a bloodhound. And I'm sitting there like looking at it and it's like in

california now but it's like well we're so sorry that it's late you can ask for a refund it's like no it's so so close now you know just get it here yeah i'm gonna give you a pro rug tip also not an ad okay my favorite place to get rugs is rugs usa.com have you ever shopped on that website i'm guessing no uh it's great they ship super fast and all the rugs are pretty freaking cheap like rugs are an expensive thing you know what i mean like that's something you don't really realize until you're an adult rugs are freaking expensive yeah for sure and um because i live in a house with three dogs i like to destroy the rugs like Like if they puke, there's like a whole house of hardwood floors to puke on,

but they pick the rug. I like don't get it. So I go through them a lot. And then, so my mom told me about Rugs USA and like you can literally get like a nice, like eight by 10 rug for like $300 and it ships super fast.

Just saying. Really? Shout out, Rugs USA. Yes, please. If you're a big fan of pens, you know, there's a website called Pen Island. Never heard of it. But I don't get it.

There is a website for pens called Pen Island. Like pens you write with? Yeah, if you need pens. But when you look at it, someone wasn't really thinking about how that was going to look on the internet. Because penisland.com looks a whole lot like penis land. I see it now. But it's real? Yeah, you can buy pens there. Or at least it used to be. I don't know. Ah, fascinating. Yeah. So how are you doing you doing? We're just here to educate the people. That's right.

Yeah. Rugmunchers dot com. You got penis land dot com. I'm doing great, I guess. It's not raining for once. That's cool. I'm noticing that you have a tie dye sweater on, which apparently is like the quarantine rage right now. Oh, well, it's been like it's been on trend for over a year now.

So it's actually the quarantiners are a little behind, but it's fine. What? You just like shamed quarantine people. Yeah. That's everybody. You're behind. Everyone's quarantined. You just shamed everyone. Yeah, pretty much. I'm excited about today's everybody. You're behind. Everyone's quarantined. You just shamed everyone.

Yeah, pretty much. I'm excited about today's show. Later on, we're going to have Kelty Knight on the show from the Lady Gang podcast. I see you have her book, as do I. Yeah. Also, how about how we talked about Jara Hearts and the author freaked out when she heard that we were talking about it and then started tweeting about it. Which is so funny because like she was kind of fangirling that we were talking about it. But I'm freaking out that she cares that we talk about it because I love the book so much.

I know. Did you get your mom on the development deal or what's going on? She's on it. She's all about having Sarah in it, producing it. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do it. You've got a new shtick going on on your Instagram.

It's like tour of the farm with Brandy and you show a bunch of animals. Yeah. It's called Meet the Farm. Meet the Farm. I've been actually wanting to do this for a long, long time. But then quarantine, like I just, there's nothing else I can post about because that's all I'm doing. Yeah. So it just kind of made sense to start it now.

Honestly, it's gotten rave reviews, especially the donkey posts. People are loving the donkeys. Shout out to AJ, BJ, CJ, DJ, and Buckley. Wait, how many jobs are in there? You got blowjob, you got handjob, you got. There's no HJ actually. There's no, there's no HJ? No.

That's all right. HJ is the worst. I think that's a good idea is an hj isn't hj even worth it anymore at your age or like sometimes i mean i like the inverted hj this it's harder really it's harder to do but you know if you can really get a good a good elbow snap in there i ain't gonna kick it out of bed you know i can't breathe i say i'll say this you know i don't hate an hj really well i like it's a part of like the whole landscape of the

hookup you know it's a good starting place like here's my thing like i would assume that most women would much rather have a guy go down on them than to finger them. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So, but you're saying an H.J. So it's a good starting point. And then, you know, H.J. to B.J., B.J. to Z.J., and then Z.J. to. Yeah, what's next? Well, you got to ask.

You don't want to know. Damn. All right. I feel like I've retired the want to know. Damn, alright. I feel like I've retired the H-J a little bit. Maybe I need to bring it back out. You know, it's a starting point. You know? Yeah, sure. Noted.

No one hates to get a little tug-tug. How do people listen to this podcast? I do not know. I don't know. All right, let's... There's going to be some women going home and giving some H.J.s tonight. I know, and a bunch of guys are going to be like, what the fuck? Are we in high school?

What's going on? All right, let's start the shizzo. Oh, yeah, probably should. You, me... I think you. All right. Bros and hoes, you're listening to Your Favorite Thing Podcast with... Wells and Brandy.

I like how we try to switch up the intro. No, we can't do it. There's really not a whole lot you can do with it. I know. Well, I saw that, you know, Blood is writing the intro for you and your mom's podcast. Can we go one up? Sure, it is. Can we get Miley?

Can we get Miley to fucking do an intro? Chances are slim. Why? You know who would probably do an intro? Although it'd probably be the saddest intro you've ever heard. No. She actually did make an intro for us. Can we bring it back to life?

Let me see if I can find it real quick. Hold on. She's so funny. How do you want to intro it? I don't know. Do we need like a jingle intro? Let me see if I can find it real quick. Hold on. She's so funny. How do you want to intro it? I don't know. Do we need like a jingle intro? The first episode ever. No. It just needs to be like, alright, here we go. Podcast time. Okay.

You know? Yeah. Sure. Are you ready? Yeah. Alright, this is episode one of Your Favorite Thing podcast with Brandi Cyrus and Wells Adams. Which better be your favorite people on your favorite thing. Is that going to be the billing?

You first than me? I was actually thinking. Okay, okay, okay. Someone needs to describe. This is not on the radio. This is a podcast. So he's wearing a skin tight red shirt with his nipples popping out.

Some skin tight, like really light blue jeans. Yeah, I forgot. This was the episode. With a light brown belt. This was the episode where Noah Cyrus and Brandi Cyrus just ripped on my fucking outfit. You should be glad Miley Cyrus wasn't here. She would have really been. Oh, and light brown.

Hey, listen. On your case. I don't think that Miley gets to make fun of anyone's choices in wardrobe, okay? I recall. Oh, she does. Yeah, right. Here it is. Point.

These are a few of my favorite things. Oh. Should that be our theme song? Red drops on the end and then pretty. He just doesn't know the words, though. Snow bells and sleigh bells and whiskers on kittens. Brown paper packages tied up with strings. Walt hates kittens.

These are a few of my favorite things. Yes. Love it. Hold on. Maybe that's the theme song. It her doing that i would love it and then you that's funny in the first episode i'm like maybe that's the thing and then we totally forgot and then on episode 104 we're like that should have been the thing it should have been the thing although i feel like she stole that song so probably could have been sued also she's so

not close on the lyrics no not at all so maybe we wouldn't have been sued. Also, she's so not close on the lyrics. No, not at all. So maybe we wouldn't have been sued. Sleigh bells. Sleigh bells. What? How do we find the actual song? It's from the Sound of Music.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Oh, shit. White copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. I feel like I need to take some acid right now. Packages tied up with strings. These are a few of my favorite things. Sleigh bells and rain bells. Cream-colored ponies and crisp apple strudels. Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles.

Oh, shit! Wild geese that fly with a moon on their wings. These are a few of my favorite things. Wait, she was right. Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles. Wild geese that fly with a moon on their wings. These are a few of my favorite things. Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes.

Snowflakes that stay on my nose. All right, well. Damn, dude, that's a fucking creepy song, though. It is very creepy. Can you imagine, like, getting kidnapped and whoever is kidnapping you was just playing that song over and over again? You'd be like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's terrifying. We've been talking for, like, over ten minutes and we haven't really accomplished anything.

Do you got some favorite things? Sleigh bells and rain bells and whiskers on kittens i gotta tell you you got nothing i have watched pretty much nothing but lost i am on season two episode like 10 i am ripping through lost like when did i start this like a week ago first of all lots of fans wanted to hear my thoughts so So you're just going to have to deal. Season two. First of all, hello, Michelle Rodriguez. Question is, was this her?

Did she get her start on Lost? Or was it Fast and the Furious and then she was on Lost? Because I remember her from the Fast and the Furious. She was badass. Also, shout out. Loved the first Fast and the Furious. Paul Walker was my crush. Had his poster on my wall.

Yeah? Did some ZJs to it? Paul Walker? Something like that. Yeah. Something like that. Okay. So Michelle his poster on my wall. Yeah? Did some ZJs to it? Paul Walker? Something like that. Yeah. Something like that. Okay, so Michelle Rodriguez comes in the picture.

Love her. She's super badass, super hot. But it's weird. Like, a couple episodes in, they like her. Okay, here's my one complaint about Lost.

A lot of things happen that they never, ever resolve, never go back to, and never talk about ever again. And you're like, well, but what about that? How come no one is questioning this whole like we got to type the code in every four hours situation in the hatch? Like, why is no one questioning this? Why is everyone just like, yeah, we'll do what the video says.

That makes a lot of sense. How does not one person say like, let's just see what happens if we don't push it? Like, don't you? Are you just dying to know what happens if you don't push the button? Yeah, but then you might die. No. Might. What's going to happen?

The whole island's just going to explode? Listen, here's what I think happened. I think that J.J. Abrams wrote the pilot being like, this is never going to get picked up. And then it did get picked up. And he's like, well, I don't know. Let's just start throwing shit at the wall and see what sticks. And they're just like, yeah, all right. I guess. Polar bears. You want to do polar bears? Fuck, I don't know let's just start throwing shit at the wall and see what sticks and they're just like yeah all right i guess polar bears you want to do polar bears fuck i don't know how much weed you smoke not enough all right polar bears make sense you know

so yeah i don't know what the heck's going on i don't i don't know i need answers dude i watched this show a decade ago well it's got me hooked it's just as good as it was a decade ago you want me to start breaking down like old episodes of step by step for you i don't i don't remember well that's where i'm at i need answers because if they don't start giving me some answers they're gonna lose me in season three all right also the main character jack his hotness has worn off i need another hot guy to enter to keep my attention span well. Well, Ian Summerhalter is doing it. Huh? Ian Summerhalter. Oh, he

died forever ago. Oh, he did? Yeah, he died in season one. It was real sad. What about James Sawyer Ford? Huh? Sawyer. He's like a kind of bad guy. Oh, he is not hot at all. In fact, he looks like he's almost 50, and he's such an asshole. There are so many characters on this show that are so unlikable.

I'm like, you can go. Bye. OK, so just for the sake of the show that we do once a week, can you diversify what you're watching so we don't we don't just get an update on a show that aired a decade ago? Yeah. So, you know what else I watched? Have you even started or attempted to watch Defending Jacob? I attempted last night, but we didn't get to it. But we are going to start. Okay. There's only one left. Next week's is the season finale. It's over very quickly. So the past couple episodes

have been a little slow. But last week's, this one I just watched, was fantastic. Lots happened. It was great. Now that we're into the trial, I love a trial. Who doesn't love a trial? Person on trial, probably. They left it on a nice cliffhanger, ready for the season finale. Chris Evans still so hot. But now, the way they've set up the season finale, I feel like if they go down the path I think they're on, it's going to be a little bit of an anticlimactic letdown if it goes the way I think it's going to go.

Honestly, this kid is so unlikable like i almost feel like his actions have been so stupid even though he didn't do it he honestly kind of deserves to go to jail but i don't think he deserves to be tried as an adult do you think it's really messed up they can try a 14 year old kid as an adult because i think it's messed up speaking of jail i started reading a book about this guy who went to jail for raping and murdering and then burning the body of a 14-year-old girl. It's called The Life We Bury. Sounds good. It is so good. College student Joe Talbert has the modest goal of completing a writing assignment for an English class.

His task is to interview a stranger and write a brief biography of the person. With deadlines looming, Joe heads to a nearby nursing home to find a willing subject. There he meets Carl Iverson and soon nothing in Joe's life is ever the same. Carl is a dying Vietnam veteran and a convicted murderer.

With only a few months to live, he has been medically paroled to a nursing home after spending 30 years in prison for the crimes of rape and murder. As Joe writes about Carl's life, especially Carl's valor in Vietnam, he cannot reconcile the heroism of the soldier and the despicable acts of the convict.

Thread by thread, Joe unravels the tapestry of Carl's conviction. Will Joe discover the truth before it's too late to escape the fallout? The life we bury. You go into it being like, this motherfucker raped and killed this poor young girl. And then things start unraveling and you're like, wait a second. And they start kind of digging into the past.

And I'm only halfway through. And I'm like, he definitely did not kill this woman, but went to jail for 30 years. This is fucked up. And so they start, and they start like, so at a point right now where he's gonna, he's gonna go get the help of the Innocence Project, which is a real thing, which is like,

if you watch like Making a Murderer, like the Innocence Project was like the people that got him out the first time. All right, great. I finally saw 1917. I don't think I saw that. Dean Charles Chapman is the star and he was like the younger brother in Game of Thrones

when that kind of just like walks out the window. I shouldn't laugh, but yeah, not real. So it's him and this other guy, George McKay. So it's Lance Corporal Blake and Lance Corporal Schofield. April 6, 1917. As the rain men assembles to wage war deep in enemy territory, two soldiers are assigned to race against time and deliver a message that will stop 1600 men from walking straight into a deadly trap. Sarah and I were watching it and I was like, cause I was, I'm a big, like a war movie guy. Yeah. I was talking to her like as a boy, if I were an actor, here's what I would want to do.

Number one, I'd want to do a Western. Number two, I'd want to do a war movie. And then like number three, I think I'd want to do like a, like a buddy cop comedy with like Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart or something like that.

Yep. And this war movie, it's going to change the way that they make war movies. Like I used to think that Saving Private Ryan was one of the visually the most stunning, crazy movies I've ever seen in terms of like war movies. I mean, of course, there's like Apocalypse Now. And so do you remember in Birdman

how it's like single shots for like 17 minutes and you're like, they haven't cut yet. They have not fucking cut yet. How are they doing this? It's like that. It's shot like that where you're like, where was the cut yet. They have not fucking cut yet. How are they doing this? It's like that. It's shot like that where you're like, where was the cut? I think we're 30 minutes in and I haven't seen a cut. And like the way they do it will be like a bomb will go off and smoke will like pass

through, pass over them. And you're like, I think that's where the cut was. That's cool. It is so beautifully done. And the cameos they have in it are amazing. Benedict Cumberbatch has like that tiniest role in the world. And you're like, how did that happen? You know, I think it was Benedict Cumberbatch.

Benedict Cumber snatch. Colin Firth is in it. I mean, it is phenomenal. Okay. Where'd you watch it? You just bought it on Apple? Yeah, I always bought it on Apple. All right.

So 1917. Check it out, dude. Yeah, well, for sure. It sounds really good. Yeah. Okay. on an apple all right so 1917 check it out dude yeah well for sure it sounds really good yeah okay so you know how the other day i was telling you about that belgium show with the overdubbing called into the night and i was like it's really good even though there's like a bunch of like overdubbing but whatever i've heard a lot of people talk about this show this week oh all right like they're loving it yeah this is how far deep into quarantine we are. Like now I'm like getting into like other countries shows that are overdubbed.

Like we've reached the end of Netflix. No. I think we have. There's no end. Oh, there's an end. So we started watching this overdubbed. I think it's a Russian show. It's kind of like a shitty Westworld, like a shitty west world but it's pretty good

here's the synopsis a family on the brink of splitting up becomes the owners of a cutting edge robot being sought by a corporation homicide investigators and terrorists it's pretty good okay so they're in russia and like it's like the apple of r Russia are like unveiling like the new, they call them bots, but they're basically just like robots. Right. And they got like, they basically buy or steal the new cutting edge one from Japan, I think. And they're going to like reverse engineer and figure out how like it's, it works and then sell it, whatever. And so the best and brightest new bot comes and it's's this hot chick, and she escapes and then imprints on this little girl. And so the little girl's her owner.

Everyone's after this one bot because, obviously, they invested a lot of money into it. But this bot looks like it got a little bit of a past. All right? You're losing it. If you can handle overdub better than us, not bad. You're insane. Whatever. All right, Wells.

Yep. I've jumped on the train where everyone's cleaning out their house, going through their closet, getting rid of stuff they don't want and need. And I have a lot of that laying around this house. it, get them rid of stuff they don't want and need. And I have a lot of that laying around this house. So I successfully sold a few pair of riding pants that I don't wear because I don't love the way they fit me. And they're honestly like brand new. So got on Facebook, sold them. And because I didn't want to have to go to the post office because, you know, the Rona, I shipped everything from my house using ShipStation.com.

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What do you know about the HBO series with Mark Ruffalo? Have you seen anything about that? I saw a trailer for it and I was like, Mark Ruffalo's in this. I should probably watch it. I know. Yeah, I watched the trailer, too, and it didn't really hook me, but I love Mark Ruffalo so much. And it's HBO. I feel like I need to give it a shot.

It's called I Know This Much Is True. Yeah. What's the synopsis? Mark Ruffalo leads this family saga, which follows the parallel lives of identical twin brothers in an epic story of betrayal, sacrifice, and forgiveness set against the backdrop of 20th century America. The six-episode limited drama series is based on Wally Lamb's New York Times bestseller and award-winning book. So, yeah, that's what I liked about it. It was Mark Ruffalo's playing two characters. He's playing twins.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did we talk about this? Because you were like, do you get paid? Oh, we were talking about James Marsden. Yeah. In Dead to Me. We were like, do you get paid double if you play two characters? I love him so much.

So I think I'm going to dive into that this week because I want to see him pull that off. Do it. We had Sheridan on last week. Yep. And he was talking about his favorite things. And one of them was magic for humans. Mm-hmm. He won Lion. Really? You love? It's so good. Oh. about his favorite things and one of them was magic for humans. He wasn't lying.

Really? You love? It's so good. Oh. And so funny. Okay. Also like how do they do that shit? I don't even understand magic. You know? I don't either. Was it on Netflix? I forget. Yeah. Magic for Susans. For whatever reason they come across

a lot of Susans in this show. He was like on the street. He'd be like, hey, what's your name? And like some old lady, like Susan. And it cuts to magic for Susans. So there's like 15 of these, just like small vignettes of him meeting Susans. But like, there's a lot of like really funny ones and really, really good ones. And a lot of like commentary on society and everything.

It's just, it's just really good. Okay. Hey, have you watched worst cooks in America? Celebrity edition starring yours truly Wells Adams. Well, I told you that I watched the first two episodes and they were very long. I can't say I've watched the newest one.

Oh, well you missed a good one. I made it through. Thank God. And you know what? In in this episode it was a nod to you and i'm so upset that you didn't watch the episode because there's a little nod to brandy sigh i can go watch it so in in the episode we have to um like butcher a fish to find out if a fish is good there's a couple signs and so i don't really know them but they're asking me the questions and so one of the things is if it has cloudy eyes then it's like a bad fish or whatever and if it stinks like hot death it's a bad fish and if the

tail is limp or flaccid i don't know bad fish huh so in it you of me so they're like how do you spot a good fish and i'm like uh doesn't smell like hot death the tail is something firm or flaccid and then and then the eyes uh if the eyes are cloudy it's not good so clear eyes open hearts good fish clear eyes full hearts can't lose yeah see it was i knew it was something like that and what is that show that's from the football Clear eyes, open hearts, good fish. Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose. Yeah, see, I knew it was something like that. And what is that show? That's from the football show. Yeah, Friday Night Lights.

Friday Night Lights. The best show ever. So anyways, that was for you, and you don't even watch the show. You know what? I sound like I haven't watched any. I'm just a week behind. Cut me some slack. I'm watching Lost.

You know, I watch TV before bed and, Wells, your face is just not really what I want to see just right when I'm going to sleep, I feel. I know, because women dream about me. They got those good dreams. You want a flat fish. Not exactly what I want, you know, going

into dreamland at night. Clear eyes, open hearts hearts can't lose I was thinking about the other day I was thinking about a funny a funny story from my childhood that I thought I would tell in the pod we're getting that desperate huh yeah I was probably 12 it was her graduation so I'd woken up that morning I was watching cartoons in my bed and I had I think everyone had it like one of those basketball hoops that suction cups to like the door or whatever and then you can totally so I was playing with that suction cup basketball hoop and I um I was watching cartoons and I suction cut right to my forehead right and

I was like just like suction cupping thing suction cupping suction cupping suction cupping oh suction cupping just like my body guys you do because you're a weird 12 year old and then i ended up suction cupping my forehead so right on the forehead and then i just watched like the rest of saturday morning cartoons so had it there for like a half an hour 45 minutes minutes, right? You know, then my mom comes up and she's like, Wells, it's time to get ready for your sister's graduation. So I take a shower and all of a sudden I'm looking in the mirror and I have a giant hickey right on my forehead, okay? Huge red spot all over my forehead. Right before I have to go to the Santa Catalina upper school graduation

for my sister. The Catalina wine mixer? The fucking Catalina wine mixer. And so I run downstairs. I'm like, mom, what the fuck did you do to your head? And I was like, I stuck a suction cup to it. And they're like, for how long? I was like, I don't know, 45, 15 minutes. Oh, my God. I was like, there stuck a suction cup to it and they're like, for how long? I was like, I don't know, 45, 15 minutes.

Oh my God. I was like, there's nothing we can do here. You just have to check. Couldn't she give you a hat? No, because we're going to graduation. So she's like, everyone's going to think that I beat you. Not even like an attempt at a little concealer or anything? So we start slathering makeup on my forehead.

So much concealer, but it doesn't do anything because it's so prominent, this hickey on my forehead. So I'm walking around the Santa Catalina Y Mixer graduation and everyone's like, what the fuck happened to your head? And the thing's dripping out of my head. And I'm telling everyone that I got hit in the forehead with a baseball. Because apparently that's a better story than I gave myself a hickey with a suction cup. That's a way better story. Yeah, it is. But anyway, it's time to come clean, folks.

Didn't for all you out there who were like, was like, what's wrong with Wells' forehead 25 years ago? It was because I suction cut my head and I'm an idiot. So there you go. Doesn't shock me. There you go. It's a true story. I'm the oldest, so the roles are kind of swapped. But like, I feel like if that was Trace, he would have been like, yeah, my sister hit me in the face with a baseball bat or something and like blamed me.

Oh, I was telling everyone that I got hit by a baseball and like make it a cool story. And then my sister was totally like, no, Wells is an idiot. And he sucks up his head. And I was like, shut up. Play it cool, Mark. Play it cool. Play it cool. Fun fact.

I don't know if anyone's ever told this story. I feel like they have. Trace used to play baseball as a kid. Yeah. And he actually was like, I don't know know like playing in the front yard or something and had a bat and went to like backswing the bat and miley was right behind him she was so little like so young like probably five and smashed her in the forehead with the bat true story she got hit in the head a lot as a kid she also got kicked in the forehead by one of our horses she was really young and my mom was so mad at my dad because he was there it was his

fault it was the horse's fault i suppose what's my dad's fault she walked right behind it yeah yeah a lot of head trauma in the cyrus family that totally makes sense actually yeah what's your excuse i i fell off a horse like every day of my life, probably no helmet because that's how we rolled back then in the 90s. For the record, I do wear a helmet now riding horses before I get like attacked. But for this and I even though I didn't wear one as a kid on the farm, but then I went to horse camp when I was like eight and started to wear a helmet and I've worn one ever since. And if anyone comes and rides on my farm, we all wear helmets. Don't worry. Horse camp is the worst name for camp.

It just sounds like it's a camp for just ugly people. What do you mean? I'm so like, I got a horse camp. It's the greatest time of my life. Pony camp sound better? I get it because it's, you're actually riding horses,

but it sounds like a camp for ugly people. You're actually riding horses, but it sounds like a camp for ugly people. You're insane. I love horse camp. Wells, I told you a few weeks ago that I've started using Nutrafol hair vitamins. Still loving it. They're super easy to take. The recommended dosage is four pills a day you take with food. So I split it up. I take two in the morning when I have a little breakfast and then two with my dinner. And I am really excited

about this. I actually am a big believer in hair vitamins. I took them in my twenties when I fried my own hair with bleach, like a dum-dum. And so now since we're all quarantined and we're doing the self-care thing and, uh, we have time to take better care of ourselves. I am back on the hair vitamin train. I'm super pumped because Nutrafol grows thicker, fuller, healthier hair and it's formulated with potent botanicals to help grow hair as strong as you are because I'm real strong with all the whole horse poo scooping these days. You always somehow get in horse poo into like our advertisements. It's a

part of my daily life, bro. I get it. Here's the truth, man. When you think of like people with thinning hair, you think of guys, but the truth is 30 million women experience hair loss, but it's not openly talked about. So going through it yourself can feel really lonely and frustrating. It's time to change the conversation and join the thousands of women standing up for their strands. and join the thousands of women standing up for their strands. Nutrafol is physician formulated to be 100% drug free. They use natural clinically effective botanicals for better hair growth through whole body health. You can visit Nutrafol.com and take a hair wellness quiz for customized product recommendations, which is always great to do.

So you get something specific for your needs. And when you subscribe, you'll receive monthly deliveries. So you never miss a dose and you don't have to go to the store and shipping is free. You can pause or cancel anytime. Everyone's asking, does it work? And the answer is yes. 70% of women saw improvements in just 90 days. So you can grow thicker, healthier hair and support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and using promo code YFT to get 20% off. This is their best offer available anywhere. You get free shipping on every order and 20% off with this code at Nutrafol.com and use our promo code YFT. 20% off at Nutrafol.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com promo code YFT for hair as strong as you are. All right, Brandy, you know, still stuck in the shelter in place and it's fine.

I'm not losing my mind at all because I have been killing it on Best Fiends. Have you downloaded this game yet? It's on my phone and i really am wanting to give it a try because my boyfriend is a big gamer and he's been begging me to get on and play this game with him but give me an update what's your status on here it's first of all the first version was amazing but the game has gotten more challenging and more fun. If you're like into strategy and solving puzzles, this game is for you. I've also got like my family playing it now. And so I'm competing with my brother who's always beating me and I freaking hate him, but love you, bro. I find myself being able to burn so much of this

quarantine time off. Thank God for best fiends. Honestly, I think the coolest part about it for me is that it doesn't require the internet to play. Honestly, I think the coolest part about it for me is that it doesn't require the internet to play. So you don't have to worry about being on Wi-Fi or using cell data. Like when I'm down at the pool, there's no cell reception. And so this actually would be a really great thing for me to do when I'm getting my suntan on. Yeah, Best Fiends has thousands of levels already with new levels, events, and characters added every month. It's hours of fun right at your fingertips. And yeah, like Brandi said, you can play offline.

With over 100 million downloads and tons of five-star reviews, Best Fiends is a must play. You can download Best Fiends for free on the Apple App Store or Google Play. That's friends without the R. Best Fiends. Download it now, dude. Get your game on. All right, you want to call Kelty real quick?

Yeah, let's give her a rang. Let's call up Kelty. So she's one of the hosts in the Lady Game podcast, which I've been on. Have you ever been on that podcast? No, but I'm actually going on it soon. I have known Kelty for so long. We go way back. How so? Because she's been in the industry for so long, you know, as a as a on

air correspondent, like interviewing red carpet events and award shows and stuff like it's just very chaotic. And most of the time, like most people in that situation aren't like the nicest and most accommodating. And she was just always really, really sweet. It was just always like a friendly face to see at events and everything. So we just, I don't know, we kind of became friends out of seeing each other so much at events and stuff and yeah, so I just, I don't know, I've happened to know her for a really long time just like through all the Hollywood hustle and bustle.

Alright, well let's give her a jingle jangle. I want to hear some of her favorite things and then also she got a new book out called Act Like a Lady. Yeah. We should write a book. No, we should. No one needs to hear from us no one needs to read about colton jumping over a fucking fence you know i love colton but he wrote that book and i'm just like who's gonna read this

people read it no i know it's like a new york times bestseller but i'm like what the fuck is going that's what you're right we should write a book okay let's call kelty first and then we'll write a book okay great hello hello kelty your skin looks so glowy and dewy like what the heck are you doing i want to do that you should talk you know that i'm really into the snail no tell me about the snail the snail is like like, it's Korean from Korean skincare. And snails allegedly, when they get freaked out, they like secrete essentially like their snail trail. Snail trail is filled with like all of the regenerative like stuff

because they have to like regenerate their bodies really quickly. And so allegedly it's like slightly cruel, but I'm not sure that I think they're on the level of like what I care about, but they like freak out the snails. They collect the mush, they put it in a thing and then you put it on. So they don't send you actual snails that are you're putting in your face? No cream.

Come on. Okay. All right. I just, I don't know. I would never know. I just imagine someone having a bunch of snails on their face and then someone else just running up to them and being like, ah, and scaring the snails.

And then they all just trail all over your face. It's something Gwyneth Paltrow would do for sure, right? Yeah. No, I do the snails. And then I have this like $11 cream off Amazon called Skin Food that I'm like obsessed with because I was on the plane. This is many years ago when Victoria's Secret was a thing and they had the fashion show and I was on assignment and I was flying to Paris for the Victoria's Secret fashion show. And Victoria's Secret was on CBS that year. I got to be on the Victoria's Secret angel plane, which was like amazing and also like hard on my self-esteem.

And I was sat beside the victoria's secret official makeup artist and i was like can you just tell me like one thing that like i can afford and like what should i should do and she's like all the girls use this cream it's 12 in amazon they slather their whole bodies and it's like the most moisturizing delicious thing of all time that's insane well it's working wow your skin looks amazing wait what is that what is the name of the cream the cream's called skin food it's by this and it's the opposite it's supernatural crude cruelty free it's called lolita it's like an all-natural and i think it's supposed to be like hand and body cream but

allegedly you put it all over i use it everywhere so no snails were hurt in the making of this cream no that's a good one and then the other one is the snails. And I was like, oh, well, how's your quarantine going? It's good. I miss people. It's been an emotional rollercoaster. I'm in a circle of first, I'm happy because I'm at home and I'm probably living the most balanced life I've ever lived because I'm not like doing 16 hours of work every day. And then I'm like in a dumpster fire of depression because everything that we had going on for late again got canceled like we're supposed to be leaving next week we had like a tour bus with our faces on it and a shower and like matching track suits we're going to do like a national

tour we're so excited so that all got canceled then I get really sad then I get feeling guilty because I'm feeling sad about something as stupid as a book tour and there's like people dying so then I'm feeling guilty and terrible that I'm a horrible person that I'm so self-centered. And then I just get sad for the world. And then it goes around in a circle that never ends. Yeah. I think I'm right there with you. It's a cruel, cruel, cyclical situation of just shit. I mean, it's so hard. And then I've been like reliving your Africa vacation.

What was that? Babe, I did Africa when Chris and I, I guess, were we married yet? Maybe we're married. I don't know. It's like five years. And it was like, it was amazing and life changing, but it was not, I don't know where you went, but it was like way different. Dude, it was the sickest place ever. Like you guys should go back when you renew your vows or something and go to this place. It was amazing. My boyfriend's South African. So, but I too, I like posted the blog about it a few days ago and it like made me so sad. Just like reliving all of it.

Cause I'm like, I just want to be there right now. The life hack is not to go there with your significant other. The life hack is to do what Brandy did and that's go to Africa and then steal an African man and then force him to move to America?

I did not force him. He wants to. Did you meet on that trip? My first trip to South Africa was in November of 2018. I went with Miley. She was there filming a show, and I met him on that trip. And so I've been back, like, I don't even know, like five times since then. I love an international love affair though.

That's so sexy. He's pretty great, but he's stuck there right now. Cause of freaking the Rona. And sorry, this is your podcast. I'm like, now I'm just asking Wells questions cause I want to catch up with y'all. Okay. No, do it.

Cause here's the thing. Your podcast, Lady Gang, it's like a popular, really like well-known podcast that people still will like tweet to me about the time that I was on your guys' show. And that was a long time ago. Yeah. You know, Wells, I do want to commend you. You are one of our top episodes of the year.

Really? It's always interesting. I think what the most surprising thing about podcasting is it's sometimes it's who you expect and sometimes it's not. And obviously you're a sometimes it's not. And obviously, you're a well known guy, you have a popular podcast. So podcast fans already know how to find you on a podcast. And you have been on television, like you you have all the things that make a great guest. But then it's like you get someone that's like so famous. That's like magazine cover famous. And you're like, Oh, yeah, I didn't. People didn't come for that,

you know. And so it's always really surprising. So I do want to give you a like your top 10 on lady gang episodes this year which is probably why you keep getting messages about it because I think what's so interesting about podcasts is we always assume that people are listening like as we drop them we have fans that discover us like two months ago that start from the beginning five years ago. We do too. And so it's like, oh, my God, what did I say five years ago? My outlook is different. But yeah, it was such a great interview and you were so funny.

So I think that's why it did so well. Well, it was so much fun to be on your guys' show. And I'm really excited because you DMed me the other day and you were like, Hey, I want to send you something. And now I have in my, in my possession, a book written by you. Yep. You're welcome. I'm such a great gift giver. Is this your first book Kelty? They send you one too good. Um, this is my third book. Okay. I thought, I thought you'd had another one. Jesus.

um this is my third book okay I thought I thought you'd had another one Jesus when I used to date he shall not be named um and I think I knew Brandy during that time well right after in the buzz net days anyway so um I was really heartbroken and I realized in my 20s that all I did was date musicians which is a bad idea horrible idea is such. It is such the worst idea. And sorry, you have come from a family of like all musicians. I had to learn it the hard way too. Yeah. So I realized that all I'd done is date these musicians over and over again. And so I started, I had this like journal on this blog and I was like, let me just like write some sort of like love. Like, why can't I get anyway? So that was my first book. I self- it. And then we I wrote this second, very experimental book and self published it as well, which was actually horrible. Like I went

back and read it. I was like, this is the worst thing I wrote it with a guy and it was supposed to be like this. He said she said thing. It was a disaster. This is my first real book. This is like the we went to Penguin Random House, Michelle Obama sitting, like book was sitting on the shelf. They're like, you guys want to do a book with us? And I was like, I'll do whatever Michelle Obama does. Like, okay. And we worked on it for a year. We had a graphic, you know, Jack did the graphics designs. We, you know, had to write and edit and record an audio book. And now it's in your hands and it's shiny and it's pretty and there's vagina paper in it. And it's like everything. Wait, so I haven't read this yet. But there was a portion when I was skimming through that I was like, I really want to talk about this on the show.

Do you mind if we go through a little bit of the lady slang dictionary? Love it. Can I tell you where this came from? Please. So we on the podcast, we always started making up words and we were like, one day we're going to write a book, which out, you know, from day one, the first one we ever had was Dick Sand. Yeah. from day one the first one we ever had was dick sand yeah it was like very famous in the late again community of like it's when you you you're getting the dick you're getting the d or like just in a relation in like sort of a thing with someone and you can't get out you're like help me i can't

get out of me keep getting pulled down into the dick sand and then we just started like girls were writing and they're like i have a word for you and all this stuff. So that's where it came from. And we thought it would only make sense if we put the dictionary in the book. We've used digmatized a lot. And that's here. Maybe we've just been fucking ripping off the Lady King podcast. I'm not saying that we own these words. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, so I just wanted to go through a couple of them that I thought they were amazing. I really like the fuckinging. Yeah, when you're in the fuckinging. Use it in a complete sentence. Try.

Everything was fine on March 14th, and then the fuckinging happened. Boom. Got it? A plus. I really liked sadsturbation. Sadsturbation. You would like that one. And there's a lot of people in quarantine right now that are in the middle of some sadsturbation. Masturbation. You would like that one. And there's a lot of people in quarantine right now that are in the middle of some

sadsturbation. Yeah, it says masturbate now. Masturbating while sad. It's different. You know it's different. We've all been there. We've all been like, what am I doing to myself? Yeah, exactly.

I am deceased that Justin Bieber's mustache made this dictionary. Okay, but hold on. That's a different topic. Hold on. But my favorite one is hat fish. That is so good. And that is now a person who is attractive only when wearing a hat, which I lived in Nashville, East Nashville, mind you, for a long time, and a lot of hipster girls

are hat-fishing guys out there. That's all I'm saying. Oh, yeah. With hats, like, especially as you get older and guys start losing their hair, and it's like that bro that was so hot in high school and college is not hot now, but with a hat, it's hot.

I feel like most guys are hotter in a hat. So like when you see a guy that you think is smoking hot and he's wearing a hat, you like, you can't give him that fully until you see him without one. It's like a rule for me. Right. It's like, you need to know the ear to brain ratio. Yeah. And not tell on a hat, like you can't tell. And you also need to know the ear to brain ratio. Yeah. You cannot tell in a hat. Like you can't tell. And you also need to know how this man, and I mean this in like the most loving way, is handling his balding. Because everyone is balding, right?

And there's a lot of different ways that guys handle it. So if they're like that dude from Five Seconds of Summer who's like, I'm not balding, what? And like has it combed down like he's President Trump, like's different and then puts the hat on top like and I love Michael he's great but like we all know your secret babe um and so then there's like the other guys that are like you know like I need to know what kind of confident man you are and and when you take the hat off it tells me a lot about your balding and that's fine because I have gray hair and gray pubes. So life goes on, you know what I mean? But I want to know what I'm dealing with.

Yeah, same. Because my first husband who I write about in the book that I had when I was 21, I met with hair and then in the middle of our very short 11 month marriage, he shaved his head because he was balding. And then I was like, I'm not attracted to you anymore and then it was over I mean that's not the reason it ended but you gotta like you gotta know what head shape you're dealing with in this relationship you know what drives my mom absolutely nuts my body similar to this so so blood aka my dad he dyes his beard like jet black with like box dye from CVS and my it like it like makes my mom want to barf like she can't even look at him when he does it she's like why not just let it grow out gray

like why do we have to dye it jet black with box dye I think that a salt and pepper man is hot my husband's beard is starting to come in with like some little grays and I was like I'm so attracted to you like your dad blood weird um would be so hot with a salt and pepper beard my mom drives the television all the time and he won't he won't give it hey it's like a guy thing it's like when I see guys like box dyeing their hair too like that yeah I'm like you don't understand your natural beauty and then I get in the 360 of like, do I not understand my natural beauty? Should I be tinting my eyebrows and wearing fake eyelashes? But we're in entertainment. It's different. Well, I'm ageism too. It's like a hot man with great and a woman with gray hair on TV is like, Oh,

we thought she was younger than that. Kelly, the show is called Your Favorite Things. So we talk about what our favorite things are. Obviously, one of our favorite things is this new book you guys have out. What are some of your favorite things? My favorite thing is adult stickers. I'm really into bujoing, which is a kind of meditational journaling that you do. And I've been getting a lot of shame from Jack and Becca during this process of our book coming out because I have a sticker chart for sales and they're like, you're a loser. You're almost 40. Like why do you stickers? I love stickers. I order them. I have

like closets of them. Like what? I don't know. I'm a loser. I love a sticker. Do we go in a round where I just make a list? No, like, but great. But hold on. I got to know. So. As a kid, were you like someone who got a lot of stickers in class or were you deprived of stickers and like a bad student and didn't get the stickers? And now this is why you're acting out like this. Oh, wow. So deep. No, I was always a good student too. And I had access to stickers. I think that some adults love Disneyland.

You know, like that adult that's like, I want to go to Disney just for fun and I don't have kids. Like, I'm not that person. I think stickers is my Disneyland. Like, I'm like, whoa, stickers are beautiful. And now there's so many cunty stickers. Like, I just got a sticker that was like, calm the fuck down. And I put it right in the middle of the page.

And I'm like, yeah. And for the girls, because I don't know that they'll hear this before it comes out or before I deliver it so the girls hate stickers and I when you pre-ordered the book wanted to give all the people stickers yeah or pack they'll be so cute for your like you know a water bottle and stuff and they're like adults don't do stickers and I was like okay well one of the three of us do does stickers and we like we decided to do a pin fine so I ordered them each special Larry David face stickers off the internet for their like book launch gift for me and there's like big stickers of his face that I'm essentially just gonna like that's all they're getting for me not flowers not a bottle of champagne they're just getting a Larry David sticker pack for the record I love stickers I put them on my

laptop and I put them on my suitcase because it that way like that's mine you know it's like owning your shit it's like those things the stickers make it mine stickers make it mine. But for any school, like I wouldn't. Yeah. I will say this.

The woman that I'm marrying fucking loves stickers. So there you go. And Wells, you know that you can now custom order. So like you could for an anniversary or for a present, you can take your five best pictures of you together

and you can get like a sticker sheet made and she would love that so i'm just all right that was such a weird one but i really really liked it same are people normally like i love tiger king like yes yes yeah no i'm a weirdo are you watching any For me, my husband has been working in New York, and so we never see each other. So this quarantine is the first time we've ever been like, okay, after dinner, let's watch a show. We've never done that.

So we have had multiple shows. We started with Better Call Saul, which we're 10 years behind, I know. Then we did Tiger King, which was great. Then I did, oh my God, then I did Normal People. Have you watched it? No, but my best friend Olivia is great. Then I did, oh my God, then I did Normal People. Have you watched it? No, but my best friend Olivia is obsessed. We started watching it and I feel like I thought it was going to be something different than what it is. Like it's kind of sad.

It's so sad, but it is pornography for women. Like just, you need to sit down with Sarah and you need to watch that, especially as an actress. Like the acting acting is so intense, and then there's so much, like, he's just sitting there with his penis out. Like, it is so aggressively sexual, and I loved it. I was like, if porn was this, I would watch porn every day. Like, I totally understand men in porn now because I'm like, wow, it is actually hot to watch people have sex, but, like, they have to be Connell and Marianne.

Anyway, normal people are so good. And so then I instantly followed the guy who plays the lead guy that i'm in love with who's 24 fucking weird um and i dm'd him and i was like i love you so much and i was like i'd love to interview you and then i followed there's another account on instagram he has this like silver chain on the show and he never takes it off. And then it's called Connell is his character. It's Connell's chain. It's the Instagram. So I followed that too. Loser. And then now I'm reading the book that it was based on. So fucking stupid. Anyway, that's what we've been watching. It was great. All right, Kelty, thank you so much for

being on the show. I imagine a lot of our audience listens to the Lady Gang podcast because we have a lot of females that listen to this show. But if you don't, you need to go listen to that podcast. It is so funny. For whatever reason, I'm the one who has to go do all the interviews. Brandy doesn't ever have to do them. I've done so many different podcasts and your guys' was my favorite one by far. Like, I didn't know what I was walking into. And then afterwards, I was like, that was fucking hilarious. So thank you for letting me be on. And and also good job on such a good show thanks i'm an anal red tent of producer at heart so you know everything's like produced within an inch of itself so it's like okay here we go game so i that's what makes it it makes it great and um and i just appreciate you guys like even during the

quarantine i was like oh my god can we go on your show? I think I'd like texted Brandy or DM you. I was like, why haven't you invited me on your show? But our book tour got canceled. Like in order to make a book successful, you really need to tour it. You need to be able to go to bookstores and like hand it out to people. And you need people to go into bookstores and see it on a beautiful table. And like, we don't have any of that. So you guys allowing us to me to come on the show and just talk about the book a little bit means so much. And everyone can order it. It's out June 2nd. Act Like a Lady.

You can order on Amazon or Barnes & Noble. So if you go to theladygang.com slash book, there is a link to this site called bookshop.org. And it'll link you to – it's essentially as easy and as fast as Amazon, but it buys the book from an independent bookseller. So you can, like, help these little baby booksellers. Cause you know, when you go to a town and you're like, let's get our coffee and walk down that cute street hand in hand and like just shop around in the boutiques and the shops and like every, you know, those like really quintessential cool parts of every city. Um, those bookshops are in danger of closing and they're one of my favorite things. So supporting like an indie is so important to us so yeah and i think the book's good i mean i know the book is great i am an idiot

so i only absorb books through audible is this thing going to be available on audible it is we it was so funny so the quarantine happened and they our publishers were like well we've never done a audio book uh like we were supposed to be in new york all sitting in their beautiful studio with like people bringing us snacks like i'm in my closet with a jack's in her closet with a blanket over her head like in our recording material with the producer for eight hours straight being like okay let's record so we record it all separately but the audiobook is dope it's so good so you will be able to listen to it on Audible. Awesome. June 2nd, Act Like a Lady is going to be on bookshelves and on the internet.

Everyone needs to go buy it. Kelty, thank you so much for being on the show, dude. You rock. Okay. Thanks, guys. See you soon. Thanks for having me, guys. Tish and I are going on Lady Gang soon, and my goal is for our episode to beat yours.

You know what? Please do, because I feel like we get a lot of listeners from their show and you know what? It can't hurt. Can't hurt. Actually, no. Actually, it's just going to help you guys get listeners to your guys' show and not to our show. All right.

Well, that was a fun show. Oh, yeah. I love Kelty. You know, we haven't done a Fuck You Very Much in a while and i feel like we need to get back to that what's the next week next week what's i want to give you a homework assignment because i feel like i come with this stuff a lot and you kind of just don't so oh really telling me how you really i'm telling you how i really feel i want you to find a funny review

and i want you to do it. Okay. Okay. Cause I've done all of them. And then I'll look through, I'll look through the, you know, you run the risk of not thinking what I pick is not that funny. Yeah.

You also run the risk of me cutting it. That's true. Noted. Okay. Well go sit by your pool and catch a, catch a bronze dude. I wish I was going to today, but I have a photo shoot.

Like what? Yeah, my first real photo shoot was since the Rona hit. For what? For some Instagram stuff, okay? Listen, I live alone. I don't have someone to take my freaking Instagram photos. Like Sarah takes all of yours for your hashtag paid Bacardi, whatever it is,

sipping on ad, alcohol, ad money. I love it. I just did not know that's what it was. I thought it was for like some like Cyrus family reunion show that was going to be like happening. Oh no, thank God this isn't a family shooter.

This would take like the entire day and there would be tears involved and fistfights and happening. Oh, no. Thank God this isn't a family shooter. This would take like the entire day and there would be tears involved and fistfights and all the things. Dude, get your content, bro. Yeah, I got to get that diamond status content. Get that diamond status. All right. Well, go throw some fucking snail jizz

all over your face so you look glowing. I'm going to. Her skin looked amazing. I know you guys couldn't see it, but man, like glowing. Like she was glowing. And she didn't have on a stitch of makeup. She looked great. I'm going to. Her skin looked amazing. I know you guys couldn't see it, but man, like glowing. Like she was glowing. And she didn't have on a stitch of makeup. She looked great.

Yeah. All right. Well, I miss you. Miss you. Love ya. See you next week. I mean. Honestly, am I ever going to see you

in real life ever again? No, but we're not going to see anybody in real life ever again. Crazy. You know, because the world's ending. It's nuts. This is the creepiest song, by the way.

I'm going to make Noah record a version. Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels. Sticking you in my basement and watching you die. Tying you up and then spitting your throat.

This is a fucking scary song. Oh, you're in the fucking string section I don't like it alright later dude later this podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation