Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Telescopes are just binoculars for people with one eye

Episode Date: July 10, 2019

This week on YFT, Wells calls in from the future in Fiji, and we hear the backstory about getting outsmarted by super models this week on Celebrity Family Feud. We also learn why we all never want to be his neighbor. Meanwhile, Brandi recounts the seemingly near-death experience trying to land in the airport with Miley & her crew, which makes the obvious conclusion: Pilot Pete should probably become Miley’s new pilot. We also have lots of favorite things, Bachelorette predictions, HGTV show ideas, and more. Enjoy! Thanks to our awesome sponsors. Couldn't do this show without their support! ARTICLE – go to Article.com/YFT for $50 off your order of $100 or more BILLE – go to MyBillie.com/YFT for 10% off your shaving starter kit CARE/OF - go to TakeCareOf.com/YFT for 25% your order of vitamins or supplements

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print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code YOURFAVORITETHING to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code YOURFAVORITETHING. Do it. What's up, dude? Dude, you're so far away right now. I know. Still in the islands. But here's the weird thing about where we are. Okay. So we are five hours behind you tomorrow, or we are 19 hours ahead. So I celebrated. That's crazy. I celebrated the 4th of July twice. You're like, you're in the future though, right? I am. You're living in the future. I celebrated Fourth of July twice. You're in the future, though, right?

I am. You're living in the future. I'm in the future. And let me tell you what, Brandy, it's beautiful, all right? Is it? I mean, you know what? That's encouraging. The water's bluer, you know, the fruit tastes richer, you know, the smell smells smellier.

You know, it's just a lot of stuff. Wow. You know, it's the future really is amazing. Interesting. Also terrifying. Terrifying. Okay, so Fiji is so far. Is it worth going all that way?

Yeah, it was only like a 11-hour flight. From L.A.? Yeah, from L.A. So you do fly west? Yeah, you fly west. Like, we're not that far from Australia. It's like a five-hour flight east to Australia, where we are right now. Okay, but Australia's so far.

By the way, this is so bougie, but it's just a funny thing. Like, we opted for business class, all right? Of course, as you should. And if you're on, here's the thing, everyone out there. If you're on a flight that's longer than eight hours, you really should probably get business class. If nothing more, so you can sleep on the flight and not feel like an absolute piece of garbage while you're on vacation.

Exactly. I completely agree. But here's the thing. So, like, have you ever been, like, on a really big, like, transatlantic plane or whatever? Yeah. When you board, you kind of board in the middle of the plane, right? The haves hang a left. Yes.

Take a left. Uh-huh. The have-nots, you hook a Ricky. Yes. Take a left. Uh-huh. The have nots. You hook a Ricky. All right? And so Sarah and I are boarding the plane, and I'm like, I just want to fucking take a left. Take a left. Take a left.

Take a left. I want to take a left. And so we were getting close, and she's like, I don't think it's a take a left situation. I was like, no, I want to take a left. And then we got there, and it was like, oh, Sarah Hyland, Wells Adams, please come this way. And I was like, take a left. All right. Oh, no, she's frozen.

You there? All right, sorry, I lost you there. I'm in the islands, dude. I legitimately Googled tsunami in Fiji. Here's the thing. God doesn't want me to be funny. I feel like I was on a really good rant there about taking a laugh. You were.

Anyways, there's just nothing better than hanging a Louie on an airplane. All right, guys? That's just the best stuff in the world. You know what's actually better? I'm about to out-bouge you. All right, good. Out-bouge me. When you're on the double-decker plane.

Oh, I've never been on one of them. And it's only business class up top. Yeah. And you get a whole different ramp to even go up to the second level. Oh, man. I don't even know about that life. I don't know if I'm ready for that. You get a whole different ramp to even go up to the second level. It's everything. Oh, man. I don't even know about that life. I don't know if I'm ready for that.

It's pretty nice. That's pretty fantastic. Anyways, do you want to start the show? Yeah, we probably should. Is it me or you? I think it's your turn. All right. Buckle your seatbelts, bros and hoes. You're listening to your favorite podcast with

Wells and Brandy. That's great. It is 834 in the morning right now. What time is it for you? Yesterday. It's 330 p.m.

Okay. Yeah, on Monday. How wild. All right. So did you see my Family Feud episode last night? I did not. I was traveling yesterday. I actually had the travel day from hell. Okay. But I have it queued up, ready to watch on Hulu. Well, you don't have to do it.

Listen, here's the thing. It's not great? No, here's the thing, Brittany. not great? Here's the thing, Brittany. You've already seen me on Family Feud, and I won fast money. I'd like to remind the populace out there that there was a time in which I won $20,000 for a fantastic charity. Now, some days, LeBron James isn't on his game every single game. You know? Some nights, he has off nights.

So you're comparing yourself to lebron james now yes you know some nights i'm out there just draining threes from beyond the arc my crossovers breaking ankles left and right and then sometimes i'm blowing my achilles heel and i'm out of the playoffs wow it was that bad that bad, huh? Well, I haven't seen it yet because obviously we're gone, but I was there. So we played the Victoria's Secret models. Yeah, my friend Josephine was on the other team.

Yes. And so she's the one who I go against. It's her and I are like the team leaders, by the way. Oh, love it. And it was so funny. The internet's so petty like you know the thing is you're supposed to do like a funny thing when you go up to the podium and so like like i i'd hung out with josephine a couple times before she's really good friends

with sarah uh like we hung out with her like iheartfest and then i went to like paris hilton's christmas party and she was there and we actually ended up getting wasted. So then when she came to the... She also was at Fourth of July last year at Miley's. Oh, she was? Yeah. Oh. You and I were very drunk. Yeah.

I was really drunk. I feel bad. I've only really hung out with her when I'm just shithoused. And then when they came backstage, she was like, hey, good to see you again. And I was like, nice to meet you. And then I'm like, oh, I know you. Wow.

I know I felt really bad about it. And we joked about it. So, you know, you do like a funny thing before you go to the podium. You plan it. Here's the thing that I think people don't really understand. Like you plan what you're gonna do. And so I was like, let's just, I'll go in for a handshake and she's gonna do like one

of those where she like pulls her hand back and like brushes her hair you know i think that's what she did and i thought i was like that's funny let's do that because we were the first ones and then i see on twitter like josephine's so mean shading wells like that how dare you do that to our sweet baby wells i was like oh my god like i feel like the internet just wants to mean girl other pretty girls just because that's how people are so i was like going on like the fire i was putting out last night on twitter was like no josephine and i are cool actually i've hung out with her a bunch and like that was a total joke but anyways that was like the first thing i saw, I didn't do great. And here's the thing. I got one question that basically lost it for us.

Okay. Aw. And the question was, something that you would have if your next door neighbors were nudists. So like someone did like a fence and someone did curtains or something like that.

So Steve comes up to me and he's like, what do you think? And I was like, telescope. And I was like, I'm sorry, Steve. I was like, telescope, like binoculars, you know? And he was like, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, whatever. And then they stopped the game.

And they're like, wait, what did you say? Did you say telescope or binoculars? I said, oh, I said telescope. But, you know, like something like look into the distance. And they're like, what did you say? Did you say telescope or binoculars? I said, oh, I said telescope. But, you know, like something like look into the distance. And they're like, what did you say? And I said, well, I said telescope. Then I said, like, binoculars.

And I was like, that's like the same thing. And they're like, no, you can't say two different answers. And I was like, oh, okay. So they go to telescope. It's not there. So then it goes to the girls. And they go to telescope. It's not there. So then it goes to the girls and they go, binoculars and it's ding, ding, ding, ding, all the points and that's basically how they won.

And I was like, so I lost it for our team, but I still like... What a bummer. I still like stand by like that's the same type, and they always do that too and it'll be like name something that'll keep you warm. And someone says comforter And it'll be like, name something that'll keep you warm. And someone says comforter

and it'd be like blankets. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. It's like, it's kind of the same thing, but not the exact same thing, you know? And in my mind, I was like, that's the same thing. What are you talking about? Like, I didn't say microscope.

If it was microscope, that would be different. But telescope and binoculars, really just ones for someone who has two eyes and then ones for a pirate. That's got only got one eye. Totally. So anyways, so we lost that one. I'm sorry, Wells.

My question is, how has the Cyrus family not been invited to Family Feud? Totally. When Kanye and the Kardashians, the West family of the Kardashians went, it really should have been the Kardashians versus the Cyrus's. 100%. That would have made so much more sense because no one other than Kanye and Kim, no one knows anyone in his family, you know? Yeah, yeah.

I'm trying to think that you have five players. So you'd have Billy Ray ray you'd have tish you'd have miley you've had noah and then you have you so your brothers would get would get kind of the shaft on that well you know what they do their own thing anyway although trace would be pretty good on it i feel but we'll boot him we're gonna go by number of instagram followers here yeah and i have more than so sorry okay so i have a question okay sean mendez camila cabello are they together is this just um hayley baldwin all over 2.0 what's going on yeah i was actually just listening to this on the radio on my drive home from the barn today and they were discussing it and they were saying that there was somebody that they knew that was like backstage at one of their shows or something and that um that she was there and that the way

the dynamic seemed it seemed like they were dating yeah like that he would constantly like check on her and be like i'm so sorry like let's take a Yeah. Like that he would constantly like check on her and be like, I'm so sorry. Like, let's take a minute and like whatever, like kind of like doting on her a little more than you would just like a buddy. OK. But didn't he go on and like publicly say we're not together? I don't know. I don't know that. No, I feel like I saw.

Also, I feel like I feel like I've heard rumors that he might not be straight. I think he said that he is straight, not that there's anything wrong with not being straight, like that old Seinfeld episode. I don't know. All I know is I'm here for it, you know, because they're both very attractive. They're both stunning.

She's got great hair. She's got a big old booty, by the way. I didn't know she had such a badonkadonk until I was looking at the pictures of them, like, noodling. And I was like, come on, look at Bayo. Oh, yeah. No, she's got it going on. And he's beautiful.

Like, he's so cute. I get that. When Miley was doing all that Grammy stuff with him, I was so jealous. I was like, he's so cute. Yeah, but is he seven feet tall? And is she three feet tall? Because I mean, look at those pictures. Like, she's coming up to his nipple.

I think both. I think he is tall, but I think she's really short yeah yeah anyways i don't have it i don't have a bell but i dig it you know i'm here for it thanks it's good thing yeah for it also you got any favorite things i touched on it last week but i'd only seen one or two episodes i binged watched designated survivor season three so freaking fast you don't even understand. Netflix kills it when they take over a show from Network Channel. They make it so much

better. That's the argument for you, right? Because that was a Lifetime show. Yeah, exactly. Now it's like, I'm sure it's going to be even. It was already kind of risque on Lifetime. I can't even imagine what the second season is going to be like. I know.

I know. I feel like there's another show that Netflix took over from Network, too. But this one is tremendously better. And it's just so good. My favorite thing about it is that they bring up so many social and political issues that are absolutely real and going on right now. That they put into the storyline of the show. in political issues that are absolutely real and going on right now that they like put you know like put into the storyline of the show and they use all of these like interviews with with people with like you know american citizens or whatever that they use for the show but then at the end of the episode they say like these are real interviews taken from real people you know about real issues

like abortion and like all the things so i don't know it's just very cool very cool so we were talking about that book recursion that you suggested then i read it like oh gosh i just bought it did you i finally got yeah so i saw i think someone tweeted to me or like dm'd me being like by the way netflix sorry you bought the rights for that's gonna be a show and i was like what no not just a show yeah netflix bought it as a movie and a. So first, I dove deep into this on the plane last night because I was curious about it. So they're going to do a movie first, and then from that movie, spin off and do a series of it. Pretty cool.

I'm here for it. Speaking of Netflix, give me a ding. Stranger Things Season 3. Did you watch it already? Finished it. What? How so fast? Dude, we're in Fiji right now,

and we're straight up leaving the beautiful, crystalline waters and beaches to come inside and watch Stranger Things Season 3 because it's that motherfucking good. I'm going to start it tomorrow. I literally, it's all I have planned tomorrow is to sit there and watch Stranger Things. Okay.

I won't ruin anything. The end is great. The whole thing is good. Sarah and I were talking about it. I was like, I think this is the best season yet. And I was thinking about why that is. In the season one, the kids were funny, but they were still super green,

I'm sure, to just acting in general and comedic timing. Whereas now they're pros, right? Like they've got this whole thing down. Dustin, his comedic timing is so tight now. Like it was always good, but like he is just so good. And that's amazing. The guy, Steve.

Oh, yeah. The hair. Yes, the hair. I think that he might be one of the better actors in the world right now like i'm sorry like really he is a for me at least an absolute show stealer like wow he is so funny in this one because his love for dustin one is just the funniest weirdest thing in the world you know like their bromance is i'm just so here for it but then but then he you know he has this like great character arc where he's like no

longer popular anymore and he like he works at this ice cream stand he's kind of like a a dork now you know and yeah so so he's like coming to terms with that and then so he's got like a new co-worker that that like is introduced in the show. And she's great. And their dynamic is hilarious. Him and Dustin's dynamic is hilarious. We were watching it last night and I was like, well, this is going to win all the awards again. It's just going to happen.

I love Millie Bobby Brown so much. I think she's so freaking cool. That's because she follows you and likes and comments on your pictures. It is not I. She's so sweet, though. But she's so sweet. But she's also so freaking badass. Yeah.

I can't wait until next week when I've binged this entire season so we can really go into it. Oh, I know. It's fantastic. Big fan of Stranger Things season three. It looks like they set it up for a Season 4, which is nice because... Oh, good. ...needs some more of it. Yeah, for some reason I thought this was the final season, but maybe that's not true.

It very well could be. Huh. But then they, like... It ends and you're like, oh, it's over. Like, it looks like it's over, over. And then, like, credit roll, and then all of a sudden, like, new scene, and it's like, oh, it's over. Like, it looks like it's over, over. And then, like, credit roll. And then all of a sudden, like, new scene. It's like, wait, what?

Like the Marvel movies. They kind of do that to you after the credits. Exactly. I like that. Everything about it, like the music on that show is so good. The clothes. They really were able to do a very good job of, honing in 80s americana really really well on the show totally you know god show's so good man i can't wait to watch it wells i have to tell you

about one of my new favorite things okay can i first just tell you that in the summer especially let's be honest in the winter i don't shave my legs but in the summer when i have to shave like every three days i can never find a razor it's something that I always end up having to go out and buy when I'm traveling. Somehow, I never have a razor. It's insane. You don't shave your legs in the wintertime? No, I wear pants. Why would I do that?

I don't know if a guy hooks up with you. You don't want him thinking that you're Sasquatch, but whatever. Continue on. Well, the guy is my boyfriend, and we're already at that point in the relationship where I'm just like, sorry. You're already at the I don't give a fuck stage? I was at that stage like a month in. I was like, the first day my legs were shaved, and then I'm just like, sorry.

But to circle back and get back on track, I'm so excited because I just discovered this new razor called Billy. And they spell it so cute. It's B-I-L-L-I-E. And the best part about it is that they deliver to my door. Razors are so expensive. Can we talk about this? And women's razors are actually more expensive than men's, which is so sexist. And it's why I normally buy men's razors. Yeah, it's insane. It's a real thing. So the great thing is that the Billy razors are half the price of the ones that you buy in the store and you don't have to go get them. So if you're new to these razors, you can go to mybilly.com and get

their starter kit. And not only do you get a razor for $9, but you get four refill blades and the blades are like five razors in the one, which is so great because you just shave so fast and you get nice, clean, smooth shave. They also send you some shaving cream soap. And my favorite part about this stuff is that it's cruelty freaking free. And it's really hard to find shaving cream that's cruelty free these days. They're already cheap, but we're going to hook it up even cheaper because you guys listen to YFT. Go to mybillie.com for 10% off your razor. Plus shipping is free. So make sure you go now and save 10% off your razor at mybelly.com slash YFT. All right, quick PSA for those of you out there who rent. If you haven't heard of Bilt, you're about to thank me. Earning points on rent

is now a reality when you pay your rent through Bilt. You don't even have to check with your landlord to start earning points that you can use towards flights, hotel stays, fitness classes, and even your next rent payment. All right, let me break it down for you. There's no cost to join build. And as a member, you'll earn valuable points on rent and your everyday spending. Built points can be transferred to your favorite hotels, airlines, and even the ones you haven't heard of. There are over 500 airlines and 700,000 hotels and properties around the world you can't heard of. There are over 500 airlines and 700,000 hotels and properties around the world you can redeem your built points towards.

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We watched another movie last night, which is, I think it's a Netflix original. It's a movie. What's it called? It's called I Am Mother. Oh, I've been seeing the thing for that. What is that? So it's like post-apocalyptic world and this robot android is raising this little girl

in like a bunker. The little girl growing up with this robot as a mom and it's just really them two and then all of a sudden, cut to a little bit later, Hilary Swank comes in with a gunshot in her side. She's very much scared

of the robots. Ah. Don't like the robots. What are we talking about out of five stars? What do you give this? Hmm. I give it a 7.58. It was good. are we talking about out of like five stars what do you give this i got a seven seven point five eight it was good oh and rose out of ten i'll give it an eight okay all right i'll give it a pretty good i'll give a solid b and rose burn is the voice of the robot oh that's pretty cool i

like her yeah so it's star-studded man like rose burn hillary swank this little girl it's pretty good so anyways check it out. I liked it. All right. Will do. Like that. What else you got? I got a book, but I got to pull up the synopsis of it.

Because I'm like halfway through with it and I don't want to give things away. While you're pulling this up, can we talk about freaking electric cars that like the engine turns off and then turns back on when you start going again? I hate that. Mine does that. I hate that. I do not understand it. Why do you do that? It's like so jolting and no.

You know who would love this conversation because she agrees with you fully percent is Tish the Dish. Yes. I think everyone agrees. Here's the thing. I disagree. No. We just get used to shit, but it's just so freaking weird, man. It doesn't bother me. I'm saving gas. I'm helping

the environment. I'm fine with it. I don't know if you really are saving that much gas. Yes, my car gets great gas mileage and I guarantee you it's because it does that. That's the only reason why? Yeah.

All right. Well, I always, whenever I get like a rental car that's got that or I can get in my mom's car, I always turn that function off immediately. I say, you know what?

My mom does too. She hates it. See, Tish? Like, you need to be a thing where you can be like, you know what? I never want this to be on. I want to disengage this forever or I want to be like Brandy and save the earth.

You can do that with my car. You can with mine. But you have to do it every time you start at the beginning of the ride. You can't be like, you can't go in the system and be like, for here on out, guys, no more of this start and stop bullshit. You know what, though?

I think, so mine has a little button to the right of the steering wheel that turns it off. Yeah. And I'm pretty sure if I hit it, it's still off when I turn the car back on. Nope. I don't think so. I'm going to test it today. All right, test it. Let me know.

Okay. Well, my BMW, I'm pretty sure if you turn it off, it stays off. But I'll investigate for you. My Beamer is saving the environment. My Beamer. Okay. You want to hear about this book? Yes, I do.

It's called Trust Me. It's a nice little crime thriller book. Okay. Written by, I think it's a chick, but her name, I'm pretty sure it's a chick. Hank Phillippe Ryan. Okay. Wait, like Ryan Phillippe? That's a confusing, but her name, I'm pretty sure it's a chick. Hank Phillippe Ryan. Okay. Wait, like Ryan Phillippe? That's a confusing name.

It is confusing. Huh. Interesting. All right. I'm going to read you the synopsis real quick. Grief-stricken journalist Mercer Hennessy, the heroine of this intriguing standalone from Mary Higgins Clark award winner Ryan, Say No More, and four other Jane Ryland novels, believes there are no more good

days after her husband and three-year-old daughter die in a car crash until she's assigned to write a true crime book about the baby Boston murder trial. She gains a renewed sense of purpose to avenge two-year-old Tasha Nicole Bryant, whose body was dumped in Boston Harbor. Tasha Nicole's mother, Ashlyn Bryant, is accused of her daughter's murder, and Mercer is sure she's guilty. But when Ashlyn is found not guilty, Mercer must write a redemption story instead. After spending time with Ashlyn, Mercer begins to wonder whether Ashlyn is in fact innocent and whether the book will be Ashlyn's redemption story or her own. Ryan casts a revealing light on media sensationalism, ethics in journalism, and the nature of truth. media sensationalism ethics and journalism and the nature of truth oh it's really interesting because this the main character yeah is watching a murder trial on tv and writing a fiction novel

about it so you're reading a fiction story about somebody writing a fiction book about a murder a fiction murder trial and which is it's an interesting take i like that so i'm halfway through and um and i don't know if she did it or not yet i'm still like i don't know oh wow that's always good so that means you're not gonna find out i know i know because the trial is it's like a three-part book and the trial ends after part one and then but you still don't know if she did it or not so i don't think i'm gonna find out until the very end it's pretty. I just started a new book. I'm just in the beginning stages of it, so I can't give you a review, but I can tell you what the overall thesis is of it.

Okay. It's called Station Eleven. Oh. An audacious, darkly glittering novel set in the eerie days of civilization's collapse, Station Eleven tells the spellbounding story of a Hollywood star, his would-be savior, and a nomadic group of actors roaming the scattered outposts of the Great Lakes region, risking everything for art and humanity. One snowy

night, Arthur Leander, a famous actor, has a heart attack on stage during a production of King Lear. a heart attack on stage during a production of King Lear. Javian Shadari, paparazzo turned EMTs in the audience and leaps to his aid. A child actress named Kristen Ramondi watches in horror as Jevon performs CPR, pumping Arthur's chest as a curtain drops. But Arthur is dead. The same night as Jevon walks home from the theater, a terrible flu begins to spread. Hospitals are flooded, and Jevin and his brother barricade themselves inside an apartment, watching out the window as cars clog the highways.

Gunshots ring out, and life disintegrates around them. Station 11. Enough. I really liked your voice there. Yeah, I felt right. You know that one guy that narrates all the movie trailers?

Whenever he dies, you should take over. Yeah, the In a World, that guy? Yes. Yeah, so there's a movie that you should, okay, give me a ding for this. There is a fantastic movie called In a World about those guys. Oh, really? Yes. There is a fantastic movie called In a World about those guys. Oh, really? Yes. And you know, Dax Shepard has a new show out right now. Oh, no, I didn't know that, but I love him.

The co-star in that is who plays his wife is the writer and lead of In a World. And it is that that movie is it's not a documentary. It's like totally like a movie, but it's about those people that do voiceover stuff. And it's so good. Okay. So yeah, anyways. Is that a new movie?

No, it's probably like four or five years old. Okay. But seriously, check it out. I think you will actually really like it. Sounds great. seriously check it out you i think you will actually really like it this sounds great i still am getting compliments on my chairs from article.com it's ridiculous every time we have a house party everyone's like where did you get them and i'm like dude well listen to my podcast but article.com is the shiz yeah i actually saw that you posted a photo of the chairs on our YFT Instagram

and they are so freaking cute. I kind of want to get the same ones. Would you be mad? No, not at all. Imitation is the highest form of flattery? Yeah, sincerest form of flattery. That would be like, yeah, Brandy likes my style, yo. For real though, I love Article. It's an online furniture store dedicated to modern

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Yeah, it's that easy. 25% off of your first care of order. Go to takecareof.com and then enter YFT. And then boom, you'll be shredded just like me and Tyler from The Bachelorette. We're going to get a complaint call from Tyler. I didn't endorse this. Sarah has been making me watch. No, let me rephrase that.

Sarah has been watching this show called Dance Moms, and then I've been kind of like checking it out, you know? Just checking it out, huh? Whatever. I'm not above this this but here's the thing so it's all these little girls and like one little boy who are like dancing in this like dance troupe i think in texas or something that are just like they're just like the best in the country and they travel around go to these like dance competitions and like this dance troupe, like, generally wins. And the coach is so mean, all right?

She is such a biatch, okay? And here's the kicker. I don't exactly know what happened, and I'm probably going to get in trouble for this, but she's in a wheelchair, okay? Okay. So she's wheeling around everywhere in an electric wheelchair, but she's yelling at these girls for their, like, dance style, and I'm sitting there being like,

you're being so mean! You're being so mean to these people! And the irony is that you can't do any of this right now because you're stuck in the chair! Be nice to these girls! And guy. I know that's really rude, and I'm sure something terrible happened.

I don't even know the history behind it all, and I feel terrible for her, and it's sad, anyone in a wheelchair, but you're so mean to these little girls. Oh my gosh. Then there's the moms, who are also just like, the moms of little girls are also just vile, angry, just like panthers that are just like clawing each other's eyes out.

So you have the moms who are mean to each other. You have the dance teacher who's in a wheelchair, just mean to everybody. And then you have these little girls just crying and be like, I just want to be the best I can be. And it's like, dude, go play in the jungle gym. Do they really cry? They're crying the whole time. Every time someone's crying. I've never seen the show.

So anyways, Dance Moms. Whoa. Sounds traumatic. It's a lot, man. Oh, my gosh. Oh, there's like, it's so funny. The people that watch reality TV like it's like there's two guys people in the world people that just live for reality tv and people that don't watch it at all

yeah and we were talking about this um on our glastonbury trip last week um because miley and her best friend bradley and i think jesse also. They all three just live for Housewives of Beverly Hills and RuPaul and what's the other one? Oh, The Bravo Show. Shayna's on it. Why am I blanking on the name of this stupid show? Chrisley Knows Best? No, no, no, no.

It's about the girl, everyone that works in the restaurant. Oh, Vanderpump Rules. Vanderpump, thank you. I was escaping me. Yeah, so that works in the restaurant. Oh, Vanderpump rules. Vanderpump. Thank you. I was like escaping me. Yeah. So Vanderpump,

the Real Housewives and RuPaul's like they live for this stuff. And Caitlin, um, Jenner and I were just sitting here like, what is everyone talking about? Like we have no clue. We're completely clueless. We're on totally the outside here.

And they were just mind blown that we don't watch these shows, but like there's just two types. And I'm just the type that doesn't watch reality TV, except the one thing I do watch is The Bachelorette. But I feel like it's a little different. So Sarah and Miley are in the same boat. I feel like I think they watch the same reality TV shows. Exactly. You should tell Miley about Dance Moms.

I think it would. I actually think she would really probably relate to a lot of it. You know, like being like a Something tells me she's seen it. Is Dan's mom? No, you know what I'm thinking of that she used to live for is Toddlers and Tiaras. Oh, yeah. So this is a similar thing. Yeah, I don't watch Vanderpump.

I don't watch any Real Housewives stuff. But Sarah does love, I mean, she like lives for RuPaul. Says Mile. I think that Sarah likes RuPaul more than like the Bachelor stuff. I don't want to speak for her, but like that shit she's into. You know what I didn't realize until we were traveling on the plane? Miley is watching the season of The Bachelorette. Oh, really?

Which is hilarious. She had never seen it before until I made her watch. I think it was Rachel's season. Yeah. We watched a couple episodes of, and I guess now she watches it. Yes. Because they were watching Alabama Hannah on the plane. Oh, yeah.

She's hooked, man. You just got to get her on Paradise, you know? I know. If I tell her you're on it, she'll definitely watch it. Does she not know that's what I do every summer? I don't think so. Yeah. All right.

That's fine. Speaking of The Bachelorette, I know we've got an episode tonight, but are you caught up? Not at all. Hold on a second. I want to get some more coffee. This is so sad. I'm in the most beautiful place in the entire world, and I mean, I don't want to leave here, but I'm also like, but when I go home, I get to catch up on all my shows. Get to find out what's happening with Alabama Hannah and Luke P.

And Tyler and Pilot Pete. I love Pilot Pete. I flew on a Delta flight home yesterday from Salt Lake City. And I was like, I wonder if Pilot Pete's my pilot. Oh, my God. You're such a dork. He flies for Delta. Does he?

Yeah. Good for him, you know. I like the guys that actually have jobs you know me too and he like like I know I don't know shit

but it seems like he really loves his job like from what you hear and what you see on his Instagram stuff seems like he just really flying every day would be so fun I guess

actually maybe not it would terrify me to be responsible for all those people all the time. I would be terrified. I know, but there's a part of me that's like, a lot of it's probably automated, right? Like, there's a lot of computers that are doing some things. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There are times when it's scary. Like, I don't know if I even told you this, but when we landed, did I tell you that when we landed in the UK for Glastonbury that our plane tried to land twice and had to come back up because there were other planes in our way, basically. There were planes in your way? Yeah. So I'm on a plane with my mom, my sister, my sister's entire management team,

her whole band, the guys that run her show, everyone's on this plane with us. And we're trying to land in the UK. And you know, we're like going down, wheels are out, like we're going down, we're descending. And it's a little bumpy. And my mom and Miley are both very nervous flyers. And when they get nervous, they just feed off of each other and just make each other more nervous. And then Miley's other manager, Adam, is almost a worse nervous flyer than my mom and Miley combined, which is insane to even think about.

So I'm sitting with the three of these people. And it's bumpy. And they're kind of freaking out. And then out of nowhere, as we're landing, we swoop back up and, like, bank to the left and turn. And, like, it feels crazy. And they just start losing their minds, my mom, Miley, and Adam. And so even though I'm scared, I'm like, someone has to be level-headed here. So I'm, like, my mom, Miley, and Adam. And so I, even though I'm scared, I'm like, someone has to be level-headed here. So I'm like holding, Miley's in my lap. My mom's

holding my hand across the aisle. Adam's freaking out. And we're like, no one's telling us what's going on. Like there's like a flight attendant, but they're like in their seat, like strapped in, like they can't get up. So we're sitting here thinking like, what in the world's going on? What in the world's going on? And then like a full five minutes goes by and we're clearly like going all the way back up and then they finally come back and tell us like no need to panic but uh somebody was in our lane in the sky and we were gonna hit them so we had to come back up and move that's terrifying to think about like you're going like what 400 miles an hour and a plane is like in your lane like That's insane.

So then after 10 minutes to circle us around, they go back to land again. Same freaking thing happens. They had to swoop back up and bank again. And then the second time, my mom's really like, she starts crying. She's like, if we die, Noah's alone, and freaking out. And I'm just like, holy crap. I'm trying to hold it together for everybody. And then they're like, we're so sorry. Now there's a plane on the runway in our way we had to come

back up it was a nightmare they were like it's just so busy because of the festival like everyone's trying to land we're like hello like you guys knew how many planes were landing today there's a schedule why did why is this happening like it was very scary no need to worry but we almost crashed twice maybe don't say that maybe no need to worry we thought we'd let you finish the bachelor on the flight so we just coming back around a couple more minutes in the air really crazy it was really crazy and like i if i hadn't had to be like the strong person in the group like i would have been scared but my mom was and miley were really like losing it and so i was trying to keep it cool but um it was pretty insane but it was funny because i had these three up front with me just like freaking out and then you look back and like

half miley's band is like still sleeping like they're chill they're fine like they don't even know what's happening it was pretty nuts but all that to say being a pilot and like having that responsibility is terrifying wait can we get pilot pete to be miley's new pilot is this that would be so tight who do we gotta talk to to get this i don't know i wonder if i could probably just dm him i wonder if you make mo yeah because no one's DMing him right now. Because that fucking DM inbox isn't jam-packed full right now. There isn't some thirsty bitches sliding in there. But I wonder who makes more money, private jet guys or commercial jet guys?

That's a good question. I bet the private jet guy has um commercial jet guys it's a good question i bet the private jet guy has a much better schedule yeah uh-huh because miley isn't always needing to fly whereas like if you're like a commercial guy like there's a flight to newark every fucking day you gotta do you know i don't know this but i think like sometimes they'll be gone for like a few days right like doing different flights that kind of connect different places and then they get back I don't know this, but I think sometimes they'll be gone for a few days, right? Like doing different flights that kind of connect different places, and then they get back home after a couple of days of travel is kind of what it seems like. I know flight attendants do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Sounds hard. It's tough with that PJ life. Sounds hard. Okay, back to The Bachelorette. Okay, yeah. What am I missing out on? I freaking called it that Luke P. would make it to freaking hometowns.

Oh, yeah, of course. You got to meet the family. You got to meet these crazy people. We got to see where this psychopath comes from. I don't know. Well, I'm about to see it tonight. I'm also terrified to meet him because, let's be fair, I've dragged him a good bit on this show. And I'm not sure.

Everybody has. Yeah, that's true. Okay, so we got Luke freaking P. We got Tyler. We got Pilot Pete. Yeah, that's true. Okay, so we got Luke frickin' P. We got Tyler. We got Pilot Pete. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And who am I leaving out? Scandal Jed.

So here's what I think is going to happen. I think she's going to choose Jed because so dumb. So dumb. Yeah, and I just don't think she's going to choose Luke P. And then I think Tyler is going to probably be the Bachelor. And people love him. I can see that. Yeah.

People really love him. I know. Not that I don't. I just love Pilot Pete more. Yeah, but like Pilot Pete. Here's like I think the problem with America right here. I actually don't know what Tyler does and he might have a great job but everyone's just it says he's a contractor which actually is pretty cool

that's true then great then perfect easy pivot to HGTV for the next thing but actually maybe I should call him because my mom and I were like if we ever do a season two of Cyrus versus Cyrus we need a smoking hot contractor to like be our third counterpart. Maybe I need to give Tyler a call. Yeah. Sliding those DMS. I'm sure those things aren't fully. I'll have Tish do it.

Brandy's sliding into all these guys. DMS being like job opportunity. Do you want to fly? Hey, do you want to be on our new show? No, I don't want to fuck you i've got a boyfriend in south africa but i would like to employ you yes to all of this but yeah but like going back to like i feel like women are so distracted by the shiny thing, you know? 100%. The abs and the hair.

And they are not thinking about like, Pilot Pete has like probably a pension and like a 401k and like totally normal guy. He should be the bachelor. But everyone's like, but look at the abs on that thing. What does he do? Oh, 100%. We don't know what he does.

He's a forklift driver. It doesn't really matter. He's hot. Let's put him in there and Oh, 100%. We don't know what he does. He's a forklift driver. Doesn't really matter. He's hot. Let's put him in there and be the bachelor. I don't know shit. Tyler might be the nicest, most genuine guy in the face of the earth, but the way he comes off to me is that he's the kind of guy that just knows the right thing to say all the time. And Hannah just eats that shit up. If it were me, I'd be like, cut the bullshit.

You can say nice words all the time, but let's deliver with your actions, buddy. You know what I mean? But I feel like America is with hannah where they're just like oh tyler he just says all the right things abs yeah but i mean then that means you're then you're team jed because jed didn't tell her but jed didn't tell her what she wanted to hear jed told the truth hey man i came here for my music career but now I kind of like you. So let's just go. Let's just start going, you know, like.

But here's the thing. I liked that about Jed until I find out that he's a lying sack of shit and had a girlfriend at home. So if he was really telling the truth, he would have been like, all right, Hannah, I'm going to shoot you straight. I had a girlfriend a week ago, but I'm here and I actually like you. Like if he had shot it that straight, I would really respect him. But he didn't. He tried to play it like he was telling the truth by giving us the little tidbit about music career, blah, blah, blah.

But secretly, his real truth is that he's got a girlfriend back home. He's a sack of shit. Did you hear the story of he cheated on that girlfriend with another girl before going on a show to cheat on the original girlfriend? There's just so many layers to this. The inception of this is crazy it's insane and isn't there another layer that he's like a male dancer somewhere in nashville we've talked i think we talked about it like i think it was actually on

uh derek's podcast i was like we have male dancers in nashville what where is this like an underground thing i don't know about like if all this stuff hadn't come out about him about the girlfriend and all the things i would have really liked him for hannah like i would have thought like oh you know what he's great they're a great match but now all this stuff has come out now i'm like oh jed like yeah i will say this we've talked about hose water before man love hose water hose water's banging but you know what's really good uh water fountains dude water fountains jam. You know what I'm talking about? The school water fountain with like the, not the button where the spigot is, the

button that's down here. Oh, yeah. I would say it tastes similar to hose water. Like, it's in the same category. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a full heavy stream, you know? It's real cold. The problem is, is that fountains just got like a bad rap during the Civil Rights era,

and I feel like we've got to bring that back, guys. All right? They're in your courts. I know. And I do love that they have it so you can even pour a big jug now and everything. But, dude, those water fountains with the button down by your belly button? Oh, yeah. Those things fuck right there.

They do. Yeah. They do. All right. I'm going to go sit by the pool. Okay, fine. I'm going to go watch Stranger Things. Maybe I'll start it today.

Dude, you should do that. You should really do that for yourself because it'll be the best thing that's ever happened to you. But I also have to catch up on Big Little Lies. It's like I got a lot going on. I finished that shit a while ago, dude. You gotta get going. Wait, is it finished? Is the season over? Yes. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Caught up before I left.

That was one show I wasn't able to download at all when I was traveling overseas, so I'm a little behind. Oh, can I just real quick, just real quick. So this past weekend, I went to Atlantic City to play a gig, and I went to Park City to play a gig. And I have to give a shout out to a girl named Caitlin at the Atlantic City show.

She was a YFT listener. It was her 30th birthday, and she partied with me all night long. And I just wanted to give her a shout out because she's a YFTer, and I love her. Okay. Great. We're doing that now? I love her. Okay. Great. We're doing that now? I mean, yeah. Alright.

Okay. Can I get a ding for the dog that's living on this beach where we're hanging out at? Because that dog's fucking chill, dude. Coco? Stop, bro. Alright, dude. Well, go watch Stranger Things. Enlighten yourself. It'll make your life so much better.

All right? Isn't it insane that you went from fake paradise to real paradise? I know. Everyone's like, oh, yeah, such a hard life. You got to leave Mexico to go to Fiji. And I was like, yeah, fair. Do they drink Fiji water in Fiji? No, they don't actually.

Really? Is that water not from Fiji? Yeah, it's like foster in Australia. They don't actually drink that horse piss. That's just such an American thing. Interesting. Yeah. See, in Switzerland,

they do actually drink Evian. I can see that. Yeah. Okay, that was all. No. All right, well. Have fun, get a tan for me. I'm pasty. AF. Alright. I think we're good.

Oh my god. What? Did you just do? Oh my god. I have felt so much pain. So dramatic. Oh my god, Will. I have felt so much pain. That was so dramatic. Oh my god. Okay, it's better now. Wow, that was the most dramatic thing I've ever witnessed.

Oh, that hurt so badly. It wasn't even funny bone. It was right on the edge of this this bone Right on the edge of this thing So hard Sounds horrible Oh my god Okay I'm gonna go ice this I think you're in Fiji and you're gonna feel better in about.2 seconds

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