Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - The Boys Are Back in Town

Episode Date: August 4, 2021

John Krasinski’s lesser-known twin Derek Peth co-hosts, and, well, it’s quite the show. They start by inventing the ShitBit, a unique innovation that, you guessed it, tracks your poop. Wells then gets a call from Sarah Hyland herself, and we see the sweet side that he hides so well from us. They discuss who is the most famous Tom in the world and briefly acknowledge Brand-eye’s absence. We also learn that Derek ripped his pants because his Covid weight makes his legs rub together a little more. He and Wells tell us all about their shopping spree that included an almost threesome in a fitting room and question overload at Chipotle. Lastly, Derek discusses how everyone needs to quit dumping on Olympians… we’re all just out here, trying our best to fit into pants and win gold metals, okay?!   Don’t forget to rate, review, and follow Your Favorite Podcast! Plus, keep up with us between episodes on our Instagram page, @yftpodcast.   Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers:  Policygenius — Head to policygenius.com to get started right now   Just The Tipsy — Shop Just The Tipsy at tipsybrand.com  Article — Go to article.com/yft to get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more Billie — Go to mybillie.com/yft to get the best razor you will ever own, free shipping always  

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Give me a check. Check. 3, 4, 5. 20 minus 10 is 10. Just talk. B-O-O. No, I'm just kidding. Tell me about your day. All right. So I've taken three shits today. Have you? Yeah. It was a rough day with food yesterday. There's a lot of different types. I think my body was confused as to what to do with all of it. Yeah. So it was just like, no, let's just get it out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Let me let me talk to myself.

Let me talk to myself. I don't know why I said it like that. Okay, I think that's I think it's pretty good. Okay. You know, I going to keep in the shit bit. What? I'm going to keep in the shit bit. No, I don't want to. We did shit last time. We do shit every time. I don't want to focus on that. No?

No. Shit bit. It's like Fitbit for your anus. It tracks all your shits. for your anus it tracks all your shits instead of tracking your sleep tracking your shits how much weight each one yeah i mean i gotta keep the shit bitty now because because now the shit bit is the good idea i mean it's always funny now this is more for like legal reasons so that nobody else takes our idea we have this yeah in stone wait your bell oh hey babe hi baby how are you good we just sat down to start recording a podcast and i

call you back i love you too bye bye don't cut the hi baby from sarah yeah i might i might though i don't know i think it's funny like you're always very like yeah you know whatever yeah and then when you talk to sarah you just it's like this very sweet person that you suddenly become yeah do you think i'm full of shit after hearing like how i talk to my fiancee i think you're just embarrassed to be who you are which is we need to let wait so what is what what am I really like? Am I really more of a soft, sweet guy? And then I try to put on a cool front?

Let him out. Yeah. Free yourself from the jail cell that you've created. All right. Back by popular demand to YFT, we have Derek Peth on the show. People, that's...

Lots of fans. Tens of people are excited to see you back. Two dogs are certainly excited. This is the first podcast I've done with somebody in the same room in over a year and a half. We are still socially distanced, though, technically. Yes, you are. We are about six feet away from each other. You're six feet away from me.

My favorite thing is this studio. Well, I'm happy you're here. You came in because? Ben Zorn. Yeah. Feller, Feller? Feller. Feller, bachelor man.

Got married last weekend and- Dog guy. The dog guy, yeah. Yeah, and I, by the way, met Zeus. Did you? He was there. Yeah. Very similar to like how Carl just like dopily walks around and just checks people out. Like just a larger version of that, which is kind of hard to imagine, but beautiful wedding in Napa. And then was like, all right, well, I'm on the West coast. So let's see if Wells will let me pop down.

Yeah. Sarah's in Toronto. So yeah, come on down here. We'll be like bosom buddies. That's a reference no one gets. I didn't get that. That's the show that Tom Hanks started his career on. No way. Yeah, bosom buddies. And him and his roommate dressed up as women a lot. I don't even remember why, but they did.

They were very ahead of their time. That's not what I would. Yeah, I don't envision his career beginning with a cross-dressing yeah hold on i want to look at that the way you spell bosom is weird it almost looks like bossam here it is bosom buddies two young single ad men must disguise themselves as women to live in one apartment they can't afford. Bosom buddies. This is, this sounds like the wildest pitch that someone went in and made. I think it was like an all women's apartment or something.

And they like wanted, I think it was something like that. I thought they were like pretending to be the same woman. No, no, no, no. They, they, two different ones. Tom Hanks is brunette and the other guy's blonde. Gotcha. And I've talked about this before, like Three's Company. Do you know the premise of Three's Company?

I forget. I used to. Yeah. And it's like one of those things, like I think everyone forgets the premise of Three's Company. And that was a guy, Jack Tripper, played by John Ritter, RIP, lives with two women. Right. And in the 70s, that was like very much frowned upon for one guy to live with two women and so jack has to pretend to be gay for mr furley the landlord or whatever yeah to allow them to all live there together but he's not gay yeah so and that's why it's like a lot of like the whole thing is like misunderstandings.

Yeah. I mean, Hollywood has been woke forever, right? Yeah. Who do you think is more famous of the Toms? Of the Toms. Tom Cruise. Tom Hanks. Tom Selleck.

Tom. Arnold. Arnold. Tom Hiddleston. Tom Arnold. Tom Hiddleston. Tom Hardy. Tom Holland. By the way, I didn't realize this is like the Chris's. Yeah.

But Battle of the Chris's. There's a lot of Tom. There's a lot of Tom. I didn't realize. I think this comes down to more what you think about Tom Cruise's couch jump. Did that set him where you're like nah i can't do tom cruise anymore or were you like this guy's is here to have some fun or or is this you know scientology yeah it's hard to get past the scientology portion i think those are like

tied together the couch thing and the sign because Because he was actually going through it. Of all Toms, who would you rather be? You know what? I think Tom Cruise has done more fun stuff. Yeah. So I think like, I'm so jealous of the actors that do all of the action movies. Yeah. That just seems like, by the way, way easier. I could never do like Tom Hanks does so much emotional.

He's like, could play any part ever. Yeah. I feel like at least Tom Cruise is like that would be much more exciting. Yeah. So you're going Tom Cruise. I'm going Tom Cruise. Okay. I'm going Tom Hanks purely because like he's got a bunch of Oscars.

Yeah. Well, that's like because that's like what I said. Yeah. He's way better actor. Sarah and i had this conversation a lot it's so much easier for a comedic actor to become serious than for a serious actor to become a comic or a comedic actor and tom hanks was a comedic actor he was a rom-com guy bosom buddies was a sitcom that was sitcom is situational comedy and then he was able to flip

it whereas tom cruise i don't know if he was ever really funny no but i will say this his portrayal of the agent in tropic thunder is one of my favorite things in the world that movie is an underrated movie yeah and like you could never get away with that now no no no you know at least it's like that movie is a little bit self-aware it's very self-aware like they were aware enough to point out that it's like that movie is a little bit self-aware it's very self-aware like they were aware enough to point out that it's wrong that like robert downey jr was doing what he was doing in the movie yeah so like if they wouldn't have pointed that out it would have been so horrible i'm amazed that robert downey jr agreed to do that me too like what a really really big dangerous move that could really big risk couldous move. That could have. Really big risk. Could have sunk everything.

I went and saw that in the theater. Did you? And I'll never forget. We were. Do you remember the beginning of that movie? Is it him crying with the blown up arms? It's the ads. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. With the booty juice. Booty juice. Yeah. And then there's like a Brokeback Mountain version. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

With everyone's favorite Spider-Man is a monk or a priest. Yeah. And then there's like a Brokeback Mountain version. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With everyone's favorite Spider-Man is a monk or a priest. Yeah. What's his name? What's his name? Tobey Maguire. Tobey Maguire. Yeah. For some reason, he's just in the commercial.

Exactly. So that was what, that beginning isn't as good, like streaming it or renting or whatever, because you put it in, you know that it's starting. Yeah. But because you went straight from the, we, like my friend and I went to the actual theater. So it goes from the previews straight into what are essentially like prank previews. And on the third one, he just, there was maybe five people in the theater. He just started laughing hysterically.

Who did? My friend. His name is John. And I was like, what? And he goes goes this is all fake yeah and i hadn't realized it but at the same time both of us i think were like what is going on are these this is really where you know things are going anyway yeah and then jack black's one was that he was in like basically an eddie murphy movie where he played all the fat

characters oh that's right yeah you know what was that movie eddie murphy movie where he played all the fat characters oh that's right yeah you know what was that movie eddie murphy did um was it the clumps that was this follow-up yeah you're right those ads are really booty juice that's the most memorable one yeah oh god it's almost as good as shit bits by the way we haven't started the show yet so we shut the show let's start the show i God, I don't know. It's almost as good as shit bits. By the way, we haven't started the show yet. Should we start the show? Let's start the show.

I screwed it up last time, so I'm just going to give it to you. Okay. Bros and hoes, you're listening to your favorite thing podcast with... Wells and Derek. I think Brandy's in Chicago at Lollapalooza. And I was like, Derek's going to be here. We'll just knock it out. Yeah. You know, like I didn't even try to call her.

Maybe I should. Or you, I mean, you could always just cut that little part. Yeah. And save this for whenever Brandy's out. That's true. We'll just keep, make sure that this is just timeless. I know. I want to.

Our friendship is timeless. That's very true. Zales needs to make some sort of jewelry. And like the friendship collection. Wait a minute. Timeless. So the first credit card I ever got was from a Zales. Really?

Yeah. It was. Oh, no, I'm sorry. It was K Jewelers. Same thing. You were really going to rack up a lot of points at the jewelry store? No, I remember. I was in high school. And was like getting a girlfriend, a ring.

Yeah. Oh, you know, this is 0% financing for 180 days. Yeah. And not that I had saved up for this, but then I was like, oh, great. Like, this will be a great idea. I'll do this. Well, of course, because I was a freaking high school kid, I was over 18 at that point. So it wasn't that they were illegally asking me.

Of course, 180 days later, I totally forgot to pay the first payment. I didn't know what I was doing. So my credit was rock bottom at first moment because most people start at kind of like, well, we don't have credit history on you. And mine was like, well, the one credit card you did have, you just totally didn't pay for three months. You didn't pay for the love everlasting pendant. Exactly. And I think it was like $120. Yeah, it was the dumbest thing I ever did. Jane Seymour. When you keep your heart open, love always finds its way in. Medicine woman, right? Yeah. Yeah. Jane Seymour is hot. But she was also in Wedding Crashers. Yeah, she's the crazy mom. Call me Kitty.

Call me Kitty Cat. Were they built for speed or built for comfort? You motorboat son of a bitch. You old sailor, you. I'm so bad at movie quotes. All right, quick PSA for those of you out there who rent.

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solutions, you need ShipStation to help you scale your business. ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiency with a robust all-in-one fulfillment system that integrates with over 180 of the most popular e-commerce platforms, marketplaces, and carriers. Listen, the holiday season is right around the corner. Odds are that you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce. If you're shipping, you got to do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 89% off UPS, DHL, Express, and USPS rates. What, you don't want to save money? Come on. Deliver a better customer experience with the industry-leading features

that help you find the best carrier rates, print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code YOURFAVORITETHING to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code YOURFAVORITETHING. Do it. We just went to the mall. We did. I ripped my pants this week. It's a thing that happens. Does it happen a lot to you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ripped the taint area. I would say... Grundle. Yeah, down to the leg. I have just really thick legs. You do. You're a thick boy.

I always have, yeah. And I've also put on some thickness in the leg. I have just really thick legs. You do. You're a thick boy. I always have. Yeah. And I've also put on some thickness in the pandemic. So I think there was extra friction happening. Yeah. 30 pounds extra of thickness. I showed you that chart this week. Yeah. That was really funny. Tell the YFTers about that. At the beginning of the pandemic, I had been like really doing a solid job of working out. And it's around the time. Because you were single. It starts.

Yeah, it does start before the pandemic. You were a single man. Single man. I met Saffron who, she doesn't care how in shape like a person that she's dating is. She should. So she was like, she's hot enough for both of them, I guess. You got to keep up appearances if you're gonna date a supermodel you need to at least at least try i think i've got i think i'm about at the time before the world opens up yeah that i'm gonna be going to any

events with her where they'll see me a side be side by side and be like oh yeah this guy you know you're really slumming it these days. Yeah, exactly. I was at 190. I had been really like working. And that's like, for me, that was like pretty healthy. I'm at about like 60-year-old heart attack now if I continue on this path. So yeah, within the course of once I met Saf, I instantly gained 30 pounds in like five months of time.

Yeah. Well, happiest of pig and shit, I guess. I am. But what was funny about the story was that his Fitbit, not his shit bit, his Fitbit tracks his weight. Yeah. He pulled up this graphic, this graph on his phone and he goes, when do you think I met Safron?

And I put the lowest part of the y-axis or whatever i was like right there and he was like yep and it was just looks like the stock market is doing like bitcoins fucking rise to fame just goes straight out and that was really funny so you got some work to do anyways we went to go get jeans because you ripped them because you're a fatty i did yeah i've been struggling although and don't forget then they were like well what's this dip down because i there was a dip down there was a dip and that was right before i asked saff to marry me yeah yeah so you tidied up requirements were up i took care of the short term you know know. Listen, I know I'm going to take some pictures here, so we better look a little bit respectable. Right, right.

Oh, that's so funny. They just rub out all the time. It's just the thing that I have to do. Rub it out. Oh, no. But then it's not an easy thing for me to find jeans either. I think this is what's happened. I used to be able to go and get jeans, and it was like jeans.

Yeah. But then when the skinny jeans thing happened yeah they basically decided to start making as many options for men's jeans as like women's jeans have and i know women's jeans like you're a different size at every single yeah store every single brand and that's now what it is so the tell for me is when i stick my foot in the jean and if my calf can't even get into the knee part yeah it's a quick it's a quick try on it does not take me long yeah as you saw i was like i tried on like eight pairs of jeans yeah we went to macy's that didn't cut it no we went to express first we did yeah not not happening there then we went to Macy's. Nothing. Which, by the way, so in the Macy's

store, this is what happens. So we're walking around and Derek gets a couple pairs of pants and he's like, where's the dressing room? And I'm like, I don't know. I think it's over there. And then so like out loud, I say, Derek, do you want me to go in the dressing room with you and help you put on your pants? I at you and said that sounds perfect yeah and like right as this is happening an older what i assume to be a gay gentleman comes up to us and looks you dead in the eye he looked into my soul yeah and it looked like he knew you so i was like oh you know he knows you i thought it was someone realizing who like we were. Yeah.

And that he was confirming by looking at my eyes since we were wearing masks. And I did not expect that to just be some random dude. And he goes like, that sounds like some fun. Can I join? Like what? And then neither of us knew what to say. We were just silent. Yeah.

Like just like a a couple steps away and he kind of like turned and walked away i think he realized how uncomfortable we suddenly became yeah yeah yeah it was like no this is our little joke and i was like where did you come from he like jumped from behind a mannequin being like hey i'll come in there too oh it was so funny and so awkward anyway so we went to macy's then we went to bloomingdales and then we went to old navy we did go to old navy what a jump between i was gonna try some stuff on in bloomingdales and then the jeans were like 200 oh yeah that's right that's just too much because i know i'm gonna rub them out yeah yeah if i If I didn't have this problem. Just the fact that like your terminology for fucking up jeans is I'm going to rub it out

is what my favorite thing is thus far. So I couldn't justify it. Yeah. And also Bloomingdale's. Relax, guys. You're not that great. Okay. Yeah.

You know, it's the same shit everywhere else. It's denim. Yeah. This is not like your denim is not special. No. Anyways. You know, it's the same shit everywhere else. It's denim. Yeah. This is not like your, denim is not special. No. Anyways, we were like kind of over it. We're like, fuck it. Let's go get some Chipotle and be done.

Then I saw Banana Republic. Should have known they knew how to take care of the banana area. Yeah. Of the pants. That's right. They were perfect. Of course. And very on sale.

And very on sale and very on sale yeah and then we ran into uh matt shively and ashley newborough who they are together and matt actually has helped co-host this show once has he yeah nice so there you go was his better than mine no but a lot of people did like it a lot of people were pretty pumped about that this was maybe two years ago but he's a funny guy oh so then we go to chipotle funny guy. Oh, so then we go to Chipotle. Oh, yeah. So here's what happened. We go to Chipotle and I'm like, I'm going to get a veggie bowl. The guy's like, okay.

And so he starts, he's like, do you want brown rice or white rice? And I was like, oh, brown rice. And then I saw that, you know, they have like the tofu, like the fake meat now. And I was like, ooh, maybe I'll have that. And then he goes, well, once you go with this fake meat, it's officially like we charge it like meat. It's not like a veggie. And then I was like, oh, okay, nevermind.

I'll just stick with veggie. And then we move on to the next thing, which is what type of meat do you want? And he goes, what kind of meat do you want? And I go, yeah, no, still veggie. So- So the veggies. So yeah, still the veg, the vegetables.

And then- Veggies is short for vegetables i don't know maybe he didn't anyways and then you were like i just feel like they don't fucking listen yeah so i think that anyone who works at chipotle you're not helping yourself you're making it harder yeah i'm not judging this i think they're they're definitely taught this because every chipotle i've ever been to they do this this. They'll ask you, okay, so what would you like? And then what's your rice? And then what's your beans?

And what's your meat? And this is usually while they're either getting the bowl ready or getting the burrito ready. They're asking all of this. And then it comes to make the rice decision. And they go, I'm sorry, what was your rice again? And so as a customer, it is the dumbest thing to get frustrated about, but it is a little bit like, dude, I just told you what rice I wanted. And then it's like, okay, and what beans do you want? And what meat do you want? I think it's like

to maybe feel people like they're being helped. Let's just keep it simple. One thing at a time, because you guys are working too hard you're doing 17 things at once to try and get the whole order up front and then memorize it for when every single person is ordering a different thing it's just asking it's expecting too much for yourself yeah just one question at a time one at a time what's the healthier thing is black beans healthier than pinto i don't know i think they're just i think beans are beans i don't even know if they're good for you at all and like i assume brown rice is better than white rice but i'm not i don't know. I think they're just, I think beans are beans. I don't even know if they're good for you at all. And I assume brown rice is better than white rice, but I'm not, I don't know.

You know what the weird thing is? Some of that stuff is like, it's such a marketing. Brown rice was supposed to be better for us because it wasn't bleached. Yeah. But then it turns out like at some places, I don't know if Chipotle is this way, but at some places they were just taking the bleached rice

because it was cheaper. Yeah. And like making it brown. Oh, you're putting like brown food coloring in there? Yeah. So like in the end, it's not whole wild rice, kind of like you're not getting wild rice. This is just brown rice. And a lot of times it's actually worse for you than if you would have just got white

rice now. We went to a fancy, well, I wouldn't say it was fancy, but it was a very popular sushi restaurant. It was. Called Fumi Sushi, and it was in Hollywood. So we went there to go meet up with one of your buddies. My buddy Ross, funny stories about him. He broke his penis and wrote a book about it. Did he really?

Yeah. It's called Broken Banana. Yeah. This isn't like some massive plug for him or anything. No, now I want to know so we didn't even talk to him about that we didn't so his dick still broke no it's it's i met his wife now i feel baffled it's his girlfriend um but no it's a temporary fix yeah he had like a cast the whole thing you he had a cast yeah you wear it you wear a cast really yep? Yep. Oh, that's right. You do.

Yeah. Really? Yeah. Because you can't like hit it on things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what happened? Do you understand like how it works? It's like, would he like get himself aroused and then it would like, it would have to go

straight in the cast? I think basically, yeah. Yeah. Although it's so painful that I don't think your body is like, no, we're not, we're not doing this. Yeah. For a while. You should sometime talk to him about it.

Next time I'm back. Yeah, I don't know. Is that an uncomfortable thing to ask someone? Yeah, like I just met you. Hey, tell me about your dick. Yeah, I think you need to go over. Hey, I heard you broke your cock a while back. I think what you needed is like go over to his place and there's like eight bookshelves of like the books that were never sold.

It's like, do you remember the movie What About Bob? He's walking around his office. There's a great new book out by... It's called Baby Steps. He wrote the book. His book? Yeah, it's like 45 of them.

Gives them to Bill Murray. God, what a throwback. Baby Steps. That's a great Bill Murray movie. It's my favorite Bill Murray movie. That's a good one. Favorite Bill Murray movie. Do you have a great Bill Murray movie. It's my favorite Bill Murray movie. That's a good one. Favorite Bill Murray movie. Do you have a favorite Bill Murray movie?

Because that's generally, it's high on people's list. That has to be my favorite. Over like Caddyshack? I'm not a Caddyshack. Like Caddyshack is good. I think there's almost too much forced jokes in there. He's also not the lead. No, no, no.

Exactly. Chevy Chase is the lead. Yeah. What about Ghostbusters? Ghostbusters is classic, but it's not the same kind of... I like that comedy versus the straight comedies. Yeah. They're good in their own way, but yeah.

What about Groundhog Day? Ooh, gosh, I haven't seen that in so long. Such a good movie. I don't think I... Actually, I don't think I've seen that since I was a kid, and I don't think I liked it when I was a kid. Rise and shine, sleepyhead. It's gonna be another cold one here in Punxsutawney.

Of course you would like that one because you just, you probably bragged it. That's how you, that was your radio tryout. I loved Groundhog Day. Okay, hold on, there's a bunch more. Royal Tenenbaums. Ooh, great movie. I don't even know if that's my favorite Wes Anderson film.

Great movie though. Great movie. I mean, that's his breakout. That's like his that's like his pulp fiction you know scrooged i don't remember that i know is that much more bill murray lost in translation oh i hate that movie i hated it too wow everyone always talks yeah i remember watching that that was in high school for me yeah i remember watching it and getting done and being like that was was stupid. That was like a bad Coen Brothers movie. And I know that that's like an award-winning movie too. Oh, I know.

What is your favorite Coen Brothers movie? Let's look them up. Big Lebowski is a Coen Brothers movie. Is that? I think that's got to be my favorite. That's a good one. What's the one with Brad Pitt? Burn After Reading?

Yeah, that was a good one. You like that one? I like that one. Okay, so let's go through all of them because they do have an amazing series of fucking phenomenal movies. Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou? Yeah, that's great. We're in a tight spot. Such a good movie.

They love George Clooney, don't they? Love George Clooney. Who doesn't? And John Turturro. Wait, I don't know who that is. John Turturro is the pederast in Big Lebowski. He's also I'm Very, Very Sneaky in Mr. Deeds. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. Oh, I love that guy. Yeah, he's amazing. Okay, there's that one. Hail Caesar, a lot of people liked. I was whatever. No Country for Old Men. I am a huge Cormac McCarthy fan.

Really? Yeah, and so when they made that, I was like, fuck. It was an homage. Well, it's a book by Cormora McCarthy that they turned into a movie. Oh, I didn't know it was an actual. Javier Bardem is so good in that. And then Josh Brolin is great in that. Tommy Lee Jones is good.

And then obviously, The Big Lebowski, True Grit. I really did like True Grit. What's that one about? Well, it's a remake of an old John Wayne movie. I don't think I saw that one. It's got Jeff Bridges as the John Wayne character, and Matt Damon's really funny in it. Josh Brolin's good in it. I really loved Inside Llewyn Davis.

Did you watch that one? Mm-mm. I'm just trying to think of Jeff Bridges as... That's the same guy from Tron and... Yeah, and The Big Lebowski. And The Big Lebowski Big Lebowski right yeah so all I can imagine is like dude you know there's not enough room here for us bro do you know what my favorite Jeff Bridges movie is I think what did you ever see White Squall as a kid no you didn't see White Squall it was like a winter one right No. So White Squall was, Jeff Bridges had a boat that they sailed around

I think like the Caribbean, but he taught young boys. It was like a schooling thing. And so rich parents would send their kids on this summer to learn and go to school and also become men. It's a coming of age story.

Got it. Was that Captain Jack? Wasn't that a comedy Got it, got it. What was that, Captain Jack? Wasn't that a comedy? No, you're thinking of Captain Ron. Captain Ron, yeah. Such a good movie, dude. That was Kurt Russell. That was Kurt Russell, yeah. And then another boat movie that Kurt Russell's great in

is Overboard. Do you remember the movie Overboard with Goldie Hawn? No one fucking is going to know any of these movies because I'm so old. You are old, man. Dude, I just, I also have like a fucking rat trap of a memory for like old movies. You were more like on the art side early in your life too, I think. Like you knew that you were going to do something creative. So anything, radio, movie, music, you are like like you just know everything you'll start asking

me about anything in those in that world yeah and i'm always like god and anybody else i can have a normal conversation but you pull something out and i'm just like i i am not worthy to be in this combo no it's only because my i i'm the youngest of five and so i had all these older siblings imparting all the things that they thought were cool to me. That makes sense. That's all it is. Oh, so we went to this really fancy dinner the other night. It's called En Naka.

And it's like 13 courses and takes like three months to get a reservation and stuff. My brother took me there. He was like, hi, this is Wells Adams agent. And they were like, who? We had an interesting conversation last night about flying first class. Okay. And so I want to ask this question to you. Okay.

You are flying first class, but you only get to fly first class there or back for a vacation. Do you choose first class there or first class back? Oh, wow. this is a tough question actually take your time i think um i think i'm gonna go with there okay i'm gonna i the thing is i could have argued either way yeah i know but i'm gonna argue this way okay what was yours so i did the same thing yeah and then i heard the argument for the other and i was like yeah you're right i'll take it i'll take it on the way back my argument is i'm ready to go i don't want to come and have like worse jet lag i feel like the jet lag is is is lessened by not being like

scrunched into a ball yeah and so that's why that's why i'm gonna say on the way there because yeah yeah i actually i also get hit by jet lag really weird i did i started doing some weird stuff dude like i wear compression socks and like compression pants you're like that old guy yeah yeah and i swear to god swear to god it helps it helps yeah really it does anything that's over like three hours i'll usually do that it's over three hours not really getting jet lag it's like a time change of like one hour that's what i'm saying over three hours, you're not really getting jet lag. It's like a time change of like one hour. That's why I'm saying over three hours. Like obviously like end to end across the US. If you're going anywhere internationally, I think you should do that. Here's the argument for the other way.

You have no room for my talking about wearing compression pants. No, I don't. I just can picture it. Okay, let's move on. I can picture it and I'm concerned. It's not comfortable. It's not? No.

You don't rub those out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're safe. Close enough. So here's the argument for the other side. When you're going to vacation, you're pumped, you're excited, you're like jazzed up. You're probably with your significant other, your friends or something. I'm going to drink on the plane.

We're going to be talking in Chile, you know, and acceptable to be like in coach and like talking and whatever. And then when you're done, when you're coming back, I just want to fucking sleep and have an easy way back because I've been drinking and partying the entire time. Totally. So that was the argument for. Kind of get that because that's what I do when I'm like on a vacation.

I'm all jazzed up. I'm your boys getting to Bloody Mary at 7.30 in the morning. Right. Because airports are a godless place where rules of society do not exist. Except for masks now. That's the only thing they've ever... And they can't even really truly get that one hammered down. Especially because everyone's fucking drinking Bloody Marys at six o'clock in the morning.

So we have to take your mask off to do it. That makes me think of something else. I've thought about this. You know how there's general rules, time rules. You don't call somebody after 10 PM. They should be chilling, winding down. I think that was probably more of when we had house phones thing, because then it would ring. For sure. But, or you don't play your music. Like that's when things need to get turned down. What is the rule in your opinion on windows up?

At what time is that acceptable on an airplane? The layer that I think people don't realize is some people are driving like an hour and a half to get to that airport. And so they're up at like 4 a.m. Yeah. They've been driving. They need to sleep. And sometimes those flights are like 7.30. People are in different scenarios.

I get wanting to look out the window. I understand it. But unless you're a child who's never experienced aviation before, it all looks the same. It's going to be a bunch of farmland in squares and sometimes circles. And that's kind of it. So I am a, you could have it up for takeoff and landing. Cause I like to watch us coming down. Yeah. Planes going down like the sea. I'm going to die to see where I'm going out at everything else down. If it is, if it's really early in the morning people gotta sleep yeah i am with you i think way too many windows are open all the time i would rather there'd be no windows on their plane yeah like i actually think that would be probably better for for everyone

i like you i don't understand why people want to look out but i see there's like have you ever seen the passenger shaming page yeah i love that and people people's thing on that is like well if you got the window seat it's yours yeah claim yeah and i kind of don't agree with that if you're an aisle guy can you like hey can you put that down right you can that's tough that is would you ever do it i probably wouldn't know you know i actually travel like with an eye mask i don't do the eye mask because that's like i feel like i if i needed to instantly see somebody like karate chopping me yeah i would at least be able to open my eyes i don't know i'm just trying to come up with a reason if someone recognized me they'd be like

wow what a fucking hollywood elite piece of crap he's so good john krasinski who does he think he is john i'm just trying to avoid john krasinski getting hate. That's what it is. I mean, as you should. I think the very first time I was on the show, actually, is what it was. We talked about when that lady put her seat down before we were meant to. Yeah. And that one fires me up. Oh, really?

Yeah. Oh, that doesn't bother me. Oh, yeah. It was the same thing. It was early in the morning. Yeah. And so I was like, I'm not going to, we're just going to start a chain domino of forcing everyone to illegally have their seats back. I mean, legally.

I'm a rule follower. I know. I am too. I never understood. Is the mechanical fortitude of the seat much stronger when it is up than when it is back? And it needs to be this way when landing. You know what it is with transportation? You have to plan for the dumbest thing. Yeah.

And so, you know, somebody has done something really stupid with the seat down. I think it has to do if you crash because you're supposed to put your head like between your knees. Bro, if you crash, you're done. I know. But I think that's what it is. You need to put your head between your knees. And if you got the seat back, you're like, I can't believe what happened to my knees. Oh, true, you're done. I know. But I think that's what it is because you don't have to put your head between your knees. And if you've got the seat back, you're like, I can't believe what happened to my knees. Oh, true, true, yeah. I think that's what it is. But I think it's so, because you're right.

Like, if you crash, you're done. Everyone recline. Right. Go for it. This is a 2%. Enjoy your death. Yeah. They should, honestly, you know what?

The oxygen that they pass down, that kind of makes you high. Yeah. Just pure oxygen. Well, like in Fight makes you high. Yeah. Just pure oxygen. Well, like in Fight Club. Wow. You're in Fight Club. Well, in Fight Club, Brad Pitt's character talks about why they do the things they do on an airplane. Yeah.

And I don't know if it's true, but the oxygen does calm you people down. Yeah, pure oxygen. Yeah, pure oxygen. Putting your head between your legs, apparently when you crash, that makes, so your head goes into the seat in front of you and it snaps your neck immediately so there's no like pain and suffering no yeah you don't remember that clip or i forgot about that part no so there you go do you care about the olympics i've always loved watching the olympics but it's been hard i don't i just don't feel like the coverage is as good this year or something i think it's a little too fragmented some of it's on peacock some of it's on normal one and normal embassy and some of it's

on like the the golf channels taking care of some of it and it's is it all over the place too many options yes i think what they did wrong is they didn't commit to the streaming we're all streaming now yeah and they want people to. So they're putting a lot of stuff on like the Peacock app. And I think that they shouldn't have half-assed it. Cause I think a lot of people don't know that that's where they should go. Like, I think that they've almost got too much on live cable and they need to be like putting more there so that that's where you're going to see all of it. Does that make sense? Yeah. You know what? It's like when, uh, they got rid of the aux cable

and they were like no you need to buy bluetooth headphones now yeah like i think that they needed to follow apple dongle is that what that's called i've got a dongle right here whoa whoa whoa don't show me that yeah you want to rub one out uh oh anyways i just like the fact that like they had to create that thing because they did that with the phone. And then some guy was like, well, we got to name this thing. And he was like, dongle. And people were like, you know what? Sure.

Let's go with that. Why not dongle? Where did that come from? I don't know. But like in my mind, and it's like, what's funny is it's something that like hangs from the bottom of the phone. Yeah. And like kind of like waggles around. And when i think

of dong i think of dick a dongle is like you know like it's just like your iphone's dick they could have very easily have made it like dingle and it would have been the same but but without like the sexual part i still think dingle is sexual i don't think so dinggle. My ding dong? People call their wiener their ding dong. Yeah, but they also call a popsicle a ding dong. No, a ding dong is a chocolate dessert. Oh, that was like one of those hostess ones. Yeah. Okay.

Do you remember those? Dude, those were... Wait, that makes me think of what we were talking about earlier too. What? Okay, so food has changed so much. Yeah. When we were kids, our parents 100% just like stuffed us with sugar. Yeah.

So much sugar. So much. Because the hostess treats. Now, have you gone back and ate any of those? No. They're so bad. I bet. They're not good at all.

From the 80s and 90s? Not like they were manufactured then. Because like those things last forever. They do. Yeah. The only thing that's any good, and this is myowa state fair things is uh is deep fried twinkies and deep fried oreos oh and then we were talking earlier about the juices right off the bat ones that people will remember is squeeze it oh yeah squeeze it is just sugar water 100 you know And Capri Suns. Capri Suns, sugar water. Yeah. Sunny D, sugar water.

Oh my God. Sunny D is, I had one of those at a hotel. Yeah. Because they like still have those sometimes, the little ones. And I was craving orange juice and I took a sip and I was like, this is. This is not it. Not orange juice. Tang sugar water.

You ever Tang? I do, yeah. I love Tang. Do you know that NASA created that? Really? Yeah. Because they need so much sugar because Do you know that NASA created that? Really? Yeah. Because they need so much sugar because their bodies need energy. Oh, really? Yeah. It's amazing that we are all

diabetic from the mid-90s. We wonder why it's a problem. Yeah, I know. We got used to being, I'm parched. I need hydration. Here's a squeeze it. I wanted to tell this story because I thought that was kind of interesting. Last night we went to this place called Ennaka. I want to tell this story. That's kind of interesting. So last night we went to this place called En Naka.

That's two Michelin stars. Oh, two. Two Michelin stars. Do you know what the Michelin star rating derives from? I mean, I know Michelin. I know it's the same company as Michelin tires. Isn't that crazy? Yeah.

That we judge. That's all I know. Yeah. Yeah. company as Michelin tires. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. That's all I know. Yeah. Yeah. So we judge the best restaurants in the world because a tire company tells us to. Yeah. So here's the history behind it. It's very, very interesting. You can only get three stars. Three stars is the most, right? So back in the day, they were trying to convince more people to drive more outside of their towns and stuff. Right. and so to do that a tire company

was like we're going to make a guidebook for people to get out and observe the you know they were building all these highways and interstates and stuff they wanted people to go and and see the world or see the country yeah and they wanted them to drive a lot so they can buy more fucking tires, I guess. I don't know. Whatever. That is a long play. Yeah, exactly. So how the rating works, if you have one star, if you're driving through a city,

and it has one star, you should stop and go to that restaurant. Okay. If you're driving through. If you're driving, if you're on a vacation, you're going to Yosemite, and you're driving through. If you're driving, if you're on a vacation, you're going to Yosemite and you're going through Lincoln, you should stop there and eat. That's all I've ever been at is a one star. Yeah. If it's got two stars and it's not on your

way, but it's somewhat close, you should divert your trip to go to that place to try it because it's that good. And if it's a three-star Michelin star restaurant, you should plan a trip just to go to that place. Got it. And that's how it came to be. Yeah. Which is crazy because I think I've been to a three-star Michelin restaurant in France. I was just going to say probably over in Europe.

Yeah. I guess maybe Europeans also were driving around, so it makes sense. But in my mind, it's like such an American thing. Yeah. How many two-star Michelin star restaurants do you think are in LA? I'm going to, because I'm just going to pick a guess, I'm going to undershoot it and say like four. One. Whoa.

Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Interesting. Yeah. But we were talking, I think we talked about this the other night, but I was talking about this last night because we were at a very luxurious dinner. And I listened to some interview with this guy that was talking about what luxury is to us. Didn't we talk about this drunk the other night? We probably did. You remember? A little bit. Okay, good. Well, I'm going to tell it to you again, and then people will think it's interesting. And he was talking about why we love luxury and what it is about luxury that we absolutely love and love to tell people about and stuff.

And he was talking about it. When it comes down to it, luxury is time. And time is the one thing that everyone wishes they could buy more of, but they can't. Totally. Finite. Yeah. more of, but they can't. Totally. Finite. Yeah. But what luxury is, it's something that took someone a lot of time to create, as if you're buying their time for you. You buy really nice Louboutin shoes that took fucking time to make, a long time, you know, the hand stitching. You buy

a, you know, a really nice bottle of wine that took months and months, and they do some weird stuff with the grapes or whatever it is. And so luxury, all you're trying to do is try to buy someone else's time, which is interesting. And I think it's cool because it makes you think of like really luxurious things differently because I think we as Americans are so used to just the cheap bullshit thrills. Well, McDonald's's and like walmart kind of ruined yeah don't get me wrong you know i definitely go to walmart and get get stuff but saf actually got me on this she read this book the story of stuff yeah great go nice love it go go read that book it will scare the shit out of you yeah because it just it's that like

over consumption mindset yeah and it talks exactly about the idea of that. You were talking about your boots, I remember, in this conversation. When are they from? They're Justin boots from the 70s. They don't make them anymore. Keep on getting them resold. And they're so old that every cobbler is like, just get some new boots. And I'm like, no, these boots are old and cool and sentimental to me.

And they're great. Well, really well made. They're from the 70s. I'm still fucking no, these boots are old and cool and like sentimental to me. And they're great. Well, really well made. Yeah. They're from the 70s. I'm still fucking wearing today. Right. So instead of having to buy a whole new boot. Yeah.

You just get the sole. Yeah. And that's like the overconsumption thing is like we constantly. Yeah. Are just buying weight, just replacing it. Yeah. Instead of, you know, like instead of just like maybe reupholstering a couch or like getting one thing.

No, no, no. We get the whole living room new every like four years or whatever. Yeah, I know. And then have you ever heard of that thing that I think it's like Asian culture where when they break a bowl, they don't go buy a new bowl. They go fix it and they use gold to fill the crack. It's like an allegory for like what life is like. Like an appreciation for the

broken seams in us all. It's the idea of embracing flaws and imperfections. You can create even stronger, more beautiful pieces of art with things that have been broken. One of my things I think I'm going to try to be doing is that exact thing that Saf was talking about

which is like fixing shit instead of just buying new shit. We kind of are with the car. I know. Because I talked about it last episode that I got this old Mercedes. You did, okay. So people understand what we're talking about. But Derek's gotten a ride in it.

Do you think that this is a fool's errand or do you think it's kind of cool? I think this is going to be a journey. Yeah. This is going to be your car journey yeah yeah because i'm not gonna lie it like when we were riding around yeah there's some like little potholes around la and i was probably probably went around like the second or third one and i was like this suspension is gonna need some love yeah yeah and then you know there's all sorts of little things and um i think because I know you

and like you've worked on some things before. Yeah. I literally drove you to your bike that was broken once in Nashville. I've been... Motorcycle. Yeah, your motorcycle. I guess I was just calling it a bike.

Yeah. I've experienced like struggling in the Toyota before. So like, I think you're going to enjoy it. It's going to be a love with some pain involved. Yeah. It'll be bittersweet. I think you can make it really cool though. I think so too.

I think that the thing about it is I'm not doing it to sell it. Right. I think a lot of people have a hard time of understanding that aspect of it. It's like, why are you doing all this if you're not going to sell it? And it goes back of people have a hard time of understanding that aspect of it's like why are you doing all this you're not gonna sell it and it goes back to like brings me joy and that's just throwing it away or giving it or selling it for whatever a couple thousand dollars that's not and for me that's not solving the problem honestly that to me is half hobby yeah do you know what i mean oh sure i think we like nobody has hobbies anymore. Thankfully, the pandemic has made some of us like have hobbies.

We all work on a computer on spreadsheets and email that has that adds no value to anyone's life. And half of the time we're just annoyed that the formula won't work in Excel or that person won't reply to your email on email. And like nobody does anything to make stuff. And it's like a version of because you've seen it now you take your photos and then you're gonna make it nicer and better yeah and then like i just don't think and we don't really do that anymore yeah unless like you're an artist you know where you take a blank canvas and make something out of it but oh i have one more thing i have a least different thing we all need as a society to talk about group text messages and when they are acceptable and when they are not. And also what the threshold for how many people can be in

a group text message. There needs to be a number. There needs to be a cutoff. Okay. Because recently I was put into a group text message. Okay. It was like 50 people, way too many people. And I don't know any of them. Right. Who is making this? Someone who is in trouble, okay? Off the bat, don't put me in that big of a group text message. Like even like seven people, I'm like, this is a lot. Yeah. But here's the other thing. If you are going to do that, don't you fucking dare put someone in that group text message

that isn't an iPhone user. Oh. Because then you have fucked up the algorithm and i can't leave this chat now right exactly i am i you have held me hostage i can never leave someone makes a funny comment or sends a funny gif and the next text message you get ryan thumbs up that message oh god who's the fucking android guy this literally just happened with me while i've been staying here with a with a bachelor party yeah chat and they shifted it to whatsapp yeah um because one person yeah thank god and they were like oh nobody can leave this so they canceled it they were

thankfully they were smart about it yeah all right what's your favorite thing my least favorite thing and this has nothing to do with like the simone biles stuff even okay but people need to chill yeah on their dunking on olympians okay yeah people think seem to talk about them like they're like professional paid athletes like nba athletes nfl athletes yeah these people don't get paid anything yeah some of them work part-time at home depot home depot did a whole thing where they were like NBA athletes, NFL athletes. These people don't get paid anything. Some of them work part-time at Home Depot, right? Home Depot did a whole thing where they were like allowing them to work less hours because they were trying to support like Team USA.

They would pay them full because, but they were like, thank you for your sacrifice to make our country look good. But we've gone into this thing where like, we now just expect because they're an American for everyone to win gold. And like these people are doing the weirdest sports that we don't know anything about. I don't know anything about like swimming competitions. All I know is that it comes to the Olympics and like there's mostly new people and a couple people I know from last time.

Olympics and like there's mostly new people and a couple people I know from last time yeah and these people have been busting their ass like 10 hours a day doing something that I will only do like once a week for 30 minutes case in point my weight yeah you haven't done that so says the graph for quite a while the graph proves this And I'm generally a fairly fit person still. So like let's chill on just expecting if it's not gold, like this has become too much like the disappointed parent. Yeah. Instead of the like, go, let's go, go, we're with you, we're behind you kind of thing.

Okay, that's my least favorite. My favorite thing is, very small thing, but I love the lights in your guys' bathrooms. Oh, yeah? Because they turn on by themselves? My favorite thing, because this is such a weird thing that I, the second I walked into your bathroom, I was like, holy shit. Yeah.

And then it just all made sense. So they're like, Wells and Sarah have these like sensors in your bathroom, right? By the way, this is not like some crazy expensive, whatever. You just need a sensor. in your bathroom right by the way this is not like some crazy expensive no whatever like you just have you just need a sensor yeah and it doesn't turn on like all of the lights yeah it turns on the soft lights yeah so especially when you're like an old man like me and you got to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night you don't get like you don't have all or nothing yeah you've got this nice soft light leading you in and you're like, this is good for me.

We can have a relaxing experience in here. I used to do a thing because I'd have to turn the light on to go pee. I would only open one eye. Yeah, exactly. Thinking that like that is going to solve the issue. This side of my brain can be asleep, but this one can be focusing in. Or you use like your cell phone. But it's like the bright blue LED. not it yeah so i'm gonna do this now because i'm renovating my houses i'm

gonna put this in my house you should yeah it's good do you want to go out on a song some music let's do it i don't have anything new i've just been listening to audiobooks for like the last you know oh you've been doing red rising yeah that was your suggestion yeah i think i just that's why i two years long ago you like it i do there's a small enough cast of characters it happens in the future in the solar system so i already know where these places are you know i have to like look at something to understand it and i think it's i'm on the third one it's been great all right red rising red rising book series i'm gonna play some fish i feel like brandy would understand it and I think it's I'm on the third one it's been great alright Red Rising Red Rising book series I'm gonna play

some fish I feel like Brandy would always make fun of me if I did this but oh yeah alright well you're gonna play some Dave Matthews too we're gonna smoke some Doja Man we're gonna go and watch some jam bands and it'll be great I do

I still love fish, man. All right. Thank you for being on the show again. Always good to be here. Glad to be your first in-person one. I know.

I'm probably first for a while still. Yeah, I don't like this. I mean, you're here. Yeah. But like, that would have been

involved like me inviting people over that like weren't staying here. Yeah. I'll just assume. Mm-hmm. Yeah. All right. right uh thanks buddy glad to be here but i don't know how if i could i would and i take you now If I could, I would.

And I'd take you now. Shit bit. We got to get that trademark, dude. That was so dumb. I think we both, at the same time, were like, like, oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, this is good. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.