Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - The Christmas Poo

Episode Date: December 11, 2019

This week on YFT, Brandi is jetlagged AF after getting back from her DD adventures in South Africa, and Wells is truly living in a winter wonderland in a house full of (fake) Christmas trees. Brandi has just realized she is essentially living in a Netflix rom-com, or a female-porn depending on how you look at it, with her long-distance romance (but Reinhardt is suh-much hotter). The hosts discuss their favorite holiday movie, their love of Jack Black, and why holiday gifting is making it a tough time to be alive here in America. To the dismay of many YFTers, Wells reads a few of his favorite 5-star reviews in his movie trailer voice. Plus, listen to Wells' countdown of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummy Bear reviews starting with #4, and find out which woman’s name might actually be the worst (or best) one ever. Tune in next week to find out if Brandi did in fact poop glitter after her Christmas party!  Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers.  DRINKWORKS – Go to Drinkworks.com and use the code GIFT100 at checkout to save $100 SHOEDAZZLE– Get your first ShoeDazzle style for as low as $10 as a VIP when you go to ShoeDazzle.com/YFT AUDIBLE– Visit Audible.com/YFT to text YFT to 500-500 to get three months of Audible for $6.95 a month QUIP– Get your first refill free at GetQuip.com/YFT  

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so maybe I need to get one of these. I just got one. It's, first of all, it's space age, it's cool looking, and it makes some of your favorite drinks. Super easy to use. So here's the deal. The Drinkworks Home Bar makes cocktails, not coffee. It looks awesome. It's small enough to sit on your countertop, your bar cart. There are over two dozen different drinks to choose from, so there's literally something for everyone. The Drinkmaker creates bar-quality cocktails freshly made at the push of a button. The Drinkworks pods are made with premium spirits, real ingredients, and natural flavors. Dang, I'm going to have to see how fast I can get one of these because this sounds like it would be perfect for my holiday party this weekend.

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so that's G-I-F-T 100 at checkout, you'll save a hundred bucks just like that. Don't wait. This amazing offer will not last. And it's the perfect gift for your friends and family. That's drinkworks.com and use our code GIFT100, G-I-F-T 1-1-0-0 at checkout and remember please enjoy responsibly do you follow grape juice boys no on instagram what's that no what's that it's an instagram account man noah's got a lot of instagram followers how many does she have 5.4 mil damn well miss 5.4 mil noah reposted from grape juice boys and i i follow this instagram account too it's hilarious it's a photo of my father from the vmas with a quote from him talking about santa claus he is such a nut his quote is and this has to be like from a red carpet or something embarrassing quote i have no respect for Santa.

Don't sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man. What a psycho. But also your dad is such a sweetheart and I feel like a pacifist that that's not true. Oh, yeah, not at all. He would run the other direction. Yeah, he'd be like, oh, man, the weed's really kicking in now. I got to get out of here.

Santa's here. Totally. So you're late again. You know what? When you said seven my time, I just really thought that was a loose seven. I know. I got back early and I texted you at 530 my time being like, we can go early. I should have texted you before I

took a nap because I was like maybe maybe he'll get home earlier and then I won't have to nap because here's the problem I am so jet lagged that I have struggled to stay awake past nine o'clock like usually like nine is it like my eyes are closing by eight but then I force myself to not go to sleep until nine because I feel bad for the dogs to put them away so early. Um, and so I was like, man, if we don't start till nine, I got to stay up to at least 10 30, which means I have to take a nap. Yeah. Sorry. I didn't even think about the jet lag thing. Jet lag is a real, a real thing. I know. And it really snuck up on me this time because the first night I was home, I slept through the whole night and I slept like normal hours. I went to bed at 10 and woke up at six something.

And I couldn't believe it. Usually I wake up like a million times and I was like, oh, I don't jet lag. I beat it this time. Like, I'm good. And then the next night I woke up at four and never went back to sleep. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's been me ever since, which is not fun.

I'm sorry. That sucks. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's been me ever since, which is not fun. I'm sorry. That sucks, dude. It's all good. It was, you know, it's like, Jellic sucks, but like the trip was worth it, you know?

Yeah, I get it. And now, yeah, I mean, you got some deep juggling and now you're back. Now I'm back. Did you have fun? I did have fun.

We didn't do anything like insane this time because I just wasn't there very long. Yeah. Did the huge, like one horseback riding and then he was cute and tried to surprise me and take me to that cute place.

And it was nice. I don't love being surprised because I'm a control freak and I like to be in charge. But it was nice. It was a nice little surprise. Oh, well. I'm glad you got to go out there. So when's the next time you're going to see him? I'm going to go

back like end of feb beginning of march ish okay and then uh and then i think the next time after that he'll be coming on over here uh one way wow yeah this summer coming this summer to theaters near you brandy get some deep ticking permanently forever that's amazing well congratulations on the deep docking happy for you speaking of deep dick and over the holidays in africa i had so many people send me messages saying you're living the real life holiday in the wild and i was like what are they talking about and so i i looked it up and it's a Netflix movie. Have you seen it?

The movie, The Holiday? No, Holiday in the Wild. It's literally called Holiday in the Wild. And it's about a girl that goes to Africa and meets a guy and never comes back. Oh, amazing. Did you watch it? It's actually terrible. It's like Hallmark movie status.

But I watched it and loved it just because it was ironically very similar to my life. However, I will say I did it better because okay, so this chick, like, her husband decides to leave her and then the next day she goes to Africa by herself for Christmas and I didn't have to go by myself. It wasn't that sad when I

went. I went with friends. And I think Reinhardt's way hotter than the guy in Holiday in the Wild, so that's cool. They couldn't get Michelle Hilsman for this movie? They should have, but I guess they couldn't afford him. Yeah, because it wasn't great. But the guy was handsome. It was like a classic,

really great-looking guy. Gets together with average-looking chick. You know, they do that to make girls feel good about themselves. I feel like it's our version of porn. Those like romantic movies that are just like really fairytale-like. It was cute. Everyone messaged me about it, so I had to watch it.

Like if you like Hallmark and Lifetime movies, you'd probably like this movie. That's your version of porn. That is... You shouldn't know what Guy's version of porn is because it's just porn. Our version of porn is because it's just porn. Our version of porn. It's not a super hot chick dating a really hot guy. That's our version of porn. Just dating, huh?

That's your kind of porn? Oh, that's so funny. Speaking of, I would say we were watching it last night because we were decorating the tree. And I think that one of my favorite Christmas movies is the movie The Holiday. I love that movie. And it is a Christmas movie, but I would watch that movie year round. Yeah. So we were watching it last night and I was like, you know what? I think that this is better than Love Actually.

They're very similar films, right? I like The Holiday better as well. Yeah. and you know what i mean like everyone is good in it but jack black really he really shines he really shines in that he does jack black might be the next guy that i think will get like an egot you think well like he has all the things right he's a good actor he's a good singer he He's a good singer. He's got a good band that could, probably has won a Grammy. I don't even know.

I could see him doing Broadway. Yeah, I could too. He's a 5'2 player. You're right. Like, what's he done lately though? Jumanji. I did not watch that. He literally is in the biggest blockbuster

of the holiday season right now. Oh, that's out right now? Yeah, Jumanji 2. Oh, excuse me. Yeah. Don't be stupid. Jumanji 2. Oh, excuse me. Yeah. Excuse me. Don't be stupid. I'm really blind.

I haven't even seen the remake of Jumanji 1. Oh, it's good. You should see it. Is it? It is. I love the original. Like, I really, really, it's one of, the original is one of my favorites of all time. The OG.

Yeah, that's a good one. I will say, well, it's got Robin Williams, you know? Uh-huh. But I will say that, you know, Kevin Hart and The Rock are just, like, they play off each other so well. And then Jack Black is just awesome as well. Wait, also, there's a Jonas in there, too. There is? There's a Jonas in there.

Huh. You know, it's got something for everybody. Okay. Wells, and I've talked about it before, but am still loving shoe dazzle it's one of my favorite places to shop online have you checked it out before yes i have and i've gotten some amazing shoes for my ladies in my life like my fiancee or my mother or my sisters it's super easy just take a super quick 60 second style quiz and you'll receive the personalized showroom of pieces specifically catered towards your own unique style. This takes the guesswork out of what

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Yeah, we probably should. You or me? I think maybe you. Did we even start the show last time? Yeah, we did. Okay, you go. Buckle your seatbelts, boys and girls. Ready for 45 minutes of absolute nothing.

Bros and hoes, you're listening to your favorite thing podcast with Wells and Brandy 45 minutes of nothing I have so many people ask me What my podcast is about Like Reinhardt's parents for instance And I'm like um It's really about nothing

We just shoot the shit People listen to it i guess i know we have some fuck you very much is actually of course we do happy holidays fuck you very much i know let me read some real quick yeah sure which by the way it's so annoying when you go down to see the the hosts and guests they haven't gotten my picture up there but there's a picture circa like 1997 of you in there you have seen I've seen that. I hate that photo. Yeah. Here are some reviews from the Apple podcast store.

Five stars from Chloe and Sud. Quality has gone down. But five stars. Love them. Love the premise. But Wells and Brandy seem like they'd rather be anywhere else but doing the podcast uh disagree i disagree too i mean actually to be fair brandy would rather be napping right now than doing this podcast but that's because i feel great my nap really did me a solid okay here's another one this is from panda 012 exclamation point subject line stop with the ugly voices

five stars skip what felt like half of this pod this week because wells kept using that ugly voice to read the synopsis hold on let me do this again from panda 012 exclamation point subject line stop with the ugly voices five stars skip what felt like half the pod this week because wells kept using that ugly voice to read the synopsis of TV shows and books. Skip the synopsis and just tell it from your perspective in your own voice. No grandma, no grandpa voices either. Hate it.

Love y'all. Well, fuck you very much. I like the voices. And guess what? It's our show. So I'm going to do the voices if I want to. I wouldn't call it an ugly voice. Maybe the

grandma voice is a tad ugly. I don't know. Did you just call my grandmother's voice excuse me, Brandy? This is your grandmother. Very rude. Okay? No soup for you. Great. And then this is so funny this is from freak frequent traveler biz

okay so i hate your name love your what does that even mean traveler this is someone who travels a lot and definitely comments on a lot of yelp reviews because for sure this is why you're alone five stars i love the podcast but i was disappointed when brandy brought up when they see us Yelp reviews because this is why you're alone. Five stars. I love the podcast, but I was disappointed when Brandi brought up When They See Us. When she first asked Wells about it, I was excited that they were going to discuss the series and talk about the injustices in our justice system. But then neither of them had seen the series. Wells incorrectly called the Central Park Five the Memphis Five and a few details Brandi shared didn't really cover the actual story.

Okay, I'm going to stop right there. That was fucking 12 episodes ago. And then you watched it. And then everyone got mad at you for watching it. Yeah, that's true. But in his review, he says neither one of them have seen it. And then it says that I did give details but didn't cover the story. I don't know.

That's ridiculous. Obviously, like that, I did watch it if I was talking about it. I know, but frequent traveler biz. You're like 17 episodes back, dude. You're so far behind. That's really it. Then a lot of really nice ones. A lot of people liked Matt Shively being on the show, which I thought was cool.

It's always nerve-wracking when you have a guest host because people are just used to us doing the show. I thought Matt did a pretty good job. Nice. Really nice of you guys to let me skip out that week. I was literally in a plane for 17 hours that Monday, so a little impossible to record, which made me sad, but well, stepped up, got a great guest, and here we are.

You got some deep dick. We should say that coming up, we have Ryan Serhant. Am I saying his name right? I don't know. I guess we'll find out when he comes on. Sophia Bush is going to be on the show soon. Sessed with her.

I'm fangirling very hard. Here's the thing about having Sophia Bush on. All I'm going to want to talk about is One Tree Hill, which is probably the last thing she wants to talk about. Well, you know what? The last thing I want to talk about usually is The Bachelor, but you know what? You got to do it. Okay? So, welcome to talk about. Well, you know what? The last thing I want to talk about usually is The Bachelor, but you know what? You gotta do it. Okay? So,

welcome to town. We're also gonna have Ariel Vandenberg on the show, I think, soon. So, buckle up, boys and girls. Let me ask you, have you ever had to eat a sweet potato filled with shredded barbecue chicken?

No. Wells. Good? Holy shit. It is so good. Ooh, Brandy never swears. You got an S-H-I-T out of her? Oh, man. I'm eating it right now, but I'm not because I didn't want to, like, chew in your guys' ears.

But one thing that I decided to do, I really feel like my health is deteriorating because I don't make healthy food for myself because I really, truly don't have time to cook. I feel like cooking is, it just takes so much time. And to prove my point, the girl that came and cooked for me this week spent four hours in my kitchen. That's four hours I don't have. And so I was like, you know what? I'm going to invest in my health and I am going to try having like a, she's not really a chef. She like comes and just meal preps for me for the week. Basically you have a personal chef. It's not a personal chef. A personal chef comes every day and cooks you a hot, fresh meal and puts it on your table.

She comes on Fridays and she meal preps, makes me like four dinners and like three lunches just to like help me get through the week and have healthy food. And it is a game changer she made me sweet potatoes with shredded barbecue chicken and i have never had anything better in my entire life oh my god you have a personal chef i don't that's amazing well you know what come come may i'm gonna actually have a personal chef because rye loves to cook and he said he would cook for me when he comes here oh my god can't wait you're really living the life aren't you sis yeah i've made it yeah we've been doing all of our decorating of the house yeah and i gotta say there are people out there that you know like the rockefeller center thinks that they're all they know about christmas decorations you know i would assume

the movie elf thinks they know what the fuck's up but none of them have met sarah hyland how many how many christmas trees do you think we have in the house i mean an average person would have one so i'm gonna say three yep we have three we have three fucking christmas trees all right where are they okay so they're all fake, by the way. So anyone who wants to come at us about that, suck it. You know how like everyone has that room in their house that no

one ever goes into, you know? Yes. So that's like right when you walk into our house, we have that room. And in that room, it looks like Frosty the Snowman took a huge shit on top of it, you know? It's like frocked or it's it's feathered it's it's white whatever frocked frocked or flocked i believe it's flocked flocked i think it's i think

it's my mother and i just discussed this today because she thought our christmas tree was going to be flocked and alas i came home to a non-flocked christmas tree i think it's frocked i don't think now that sounds weird too anyways that. I think it's frocked. I don't think so. That sounds weird too. Anyways, that one is white. You know, it looks like, I don't know, it's like a cocaine Christmas tree for some reason with like giant blue balls on it. I think it's like our Hanukkah tree to be fair. And then you walk into the living room where like our real tree is. And that's got like all the like our actual Christmas ornaments. And then you walk upstairs to our bedroom and right outside our bedroom, we have another tree with all the ornaments from my Nashville house. I don't know if you remember,

but there was a year that we decorated a tree in my Nashville house with only food ornaments. Oh, yeah, that's cute. You know, so there are food trees upstairs. So we have three Christmas trees. Wow. I'm a little jealous, actually. It's a lot of work. And it's flocked. Flocked? Yes, with an L. Not frocked? No, no. So am I right or

are you right? I'm right, for once. Alright, fair enough. Usually you're right. I do got some fave things, bro. Okay, bro. Watched a movie called Freaks recently. I wanted to watch that the other night and my friend Kirsten was scared. Is it scary? No, I didn't think so. Kind of, but not really. Okay. Tell me about it. Okay. So, Emile Hirsch is the father and then there's Love him. Yes.

And then there's like a little girl who's relatively unknown but she's fantastic and they kind of like, they seem like they're hoarders living in like a post-apocalyptic world.

They're not allowed to leave the house because something's going to come attack them and you're not really sure what it is. I don't want to give too much away.

So I'll just read the thing. And also to that one person that said she didn't like this voice. Suck it. A bold girl discovers a bizarre, threatening, and mysterious new world beyond her front door after she escapes her father's protective and paranoid control. Freaks. It's awesome. It is like... I really want to see it. Okay.

It's not scary in that way. In the beginning you think it is, but then it kind of dovetails into a different thing. Anyways, really, really suggest watching it. Fantastic movie. Okay, cool. Five dings all around. All right. It's next on my list. Well, I wanted to watch that, but instead we watched Ad Astra, not named after my dog. Yeah. Have you seen that yet? We just watched it two nights ago. Oh, perfect. What are your thoughts? Because I feel that it's a poor man's interstellar. Yes, I would agree with that. Did not. And I love space movies. Me too. Didn't love this movie. I didn't love this movie i didn't either and i really wanted to really bad because space brad pitt and it's called astra yeah exactly it's got this weird film noir

vibe to it with him narrating it he's like an old detective from like the 40s you know it's really really fast in the beginning so you're like wow okay here we go and then it slows down and then it kind of picks up and then it's just no bro i know i didn't love it i thought it was very predictable too like once you figure out like you said like it starts out off really fast and you're like oh we're okay, here we are. And you figure out what's going on and that his dad's alive. Then the rest of it's just so predictable. I don't know. I just didn't love it, and I wanted to really badly.

I did think that it looked great, looked very cool, made me really want to go to Neptune. Yeah. I mean, who doesn't want to go to Neptune? You know? I'll tell you what I don't want to do. I don't want to ride dune buggies on the moon, though. That shit seems dangerous. I know.

Okay, so answer me this, because it was late, and I was dozing off here and there, so I may have missed something. Where the heck did the space monkey come from? Okay, so just to put it in context, there's a ship that's asking for Mayday, so they have to stop and help and so when they stop to help Brad Pitt's like we're not stopping we have a mission and they're

like no we have to it's like maritime law we have to stop please stop and I think that they were doing tests on the monkey or on the orangutan or whatever it was the monkey went crazy and ate all the people and then all that was left was the monkey went crazy and ate all the people. And then all that was left was the monkey in space. And so when they came in there, then they had to fight off the monkey. Got you. That monkey was scary.

That was a scary monkey. I feel like that monkey had to be scarier than the entire Freaks movie was. Yeah. Dude, Freaks is good. No. I'm telling you, Freaks is good. I got no complaints on Freaks. Oh, man. Anyway, monkey was scary i is i don't know i at astra i paid 20 bucks to watch it on itunes and i regret

it same i guess what we're trying to say is if you're thinking about buying the 20 bucks you can't wait until i think it's like december 13th when you can rent it. Yeah, that's like five bucks. Wait until then, all right? Yeah. And then do it. Agreed, yeah. Another film that everyone has been talking about that was very long that I watched recently was The Irishman. I saw you tweet about that. Yeah. My tweet was,

we started watching The Irishman this weekend. It's still on. Like, it's so long. Was it good, though? Here's the the thing it's a scorsese film so if you've seen one scorsese film you've seen them all it's like about gangs you know it's got robert de niro and al pacino and joe pesci so it's good fellas and gangs in new york and casino Gangs in New York and Casino. It's the same fucking movie. But because it is a Scorsese film, it's fantastic, you know? Okay. But it is three hours long.

Yikes. Three hours long. That's very long. My favorite thing about the film is, okay, you know how in Avengers they make Mark Ruffalo in the Hulk, and you see how they make Mark Ruffalo in the Hulk. He's got all those dots on his face, you know, and then they use CGI to, like, make him into the Hulk. Yep. So in this, they're doing, I think they're using that technology to CGI either young versions of Al Pacino

and Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci or old vert like even older versions of them so like they're able to play mid-30s Robert De Niro you can kind of tell but not really it's like damn you're never gonna need to like cast young gangster we'll just use the same one yeah so that was pretty cool it's it was good it was good it was just really really long and really really slow and like every Scorsese film I've ever seen in my entire life. I'll probably watch it at some point. Yeah, it's worth it. Maybe on my next 17-hour flight, that would be a good one.

Yeah, you can watch it on the way there. And on the way back, you can watch it. Because it still won't be done. And it'll take up the whole flight. It'll still be going when you're coming back next month. Great. I started a new Netflix series. What do you got?

It's totally a chick flick series. This is not a show that Wells Adams is going to watch ever. I don't know. It's called Virgin River. I love Virgin River. Shut up. You're such a liar. You're such a liar.

Okay. So tell me about it. So the lead girl that's in it, it's Alexandra Breckenridge. She plays Kevin in This Is Us. She plays his girlfriend that he wanted to marry her, and then she broke up with them. You know who I'm talking about? Yep.

You don't, do you? No, I don't. She's like the pretty girl that he wants to be with, and I think she ends up leaving him or whatever. I knew she was familiar, but I did have to look her up to put two and two together um but i really like her in it okay it reminds me it's like a cross between did you ever watch everwood as a kid yes yes on cw okay it totally reminds me of everwood because it's set in like a mountain town okay it's kind of like soap opera you like that but it's literally it's about this girl um that that

girl alexander plays this uh this girl that uh is from la and she's a nurse practitioner and she moved it's classic star moves from la to the to the remote northern california mountain town to like you know start over or whatever and so i mean there's really not a lot of like like meat to this plot but um but it cute. It's like an easy watch. I do it while I'm like working on other stuff on my computer or whatever. And it's sweet. It's like there is like once you get into the first few episodes are like a little slow and like, I don't know, like just kind of like you've heard that story before. But as you keep going, that character development actually gets really good.

I don't know. It's sweet. I like it. Alright. Again, it's like if you like, I think it's a grade higher than like a Hallmark or a Lifetime series. Okay. But it is a chick flick. What's it called again? Oh, it's called Virgin River. Virgin River.

Which is the name of the little town. Got it. Alright. I'm into it. Yeah, I'm into it. Sarah and I started watching a new show on Netflix recently called The Society. Have you heard about that? I've seen it as Sarah and I started watching a new show on Netflix recently called The Society. Have you heard about that? I've seen it as I've swiped through. Yeah, it's pretty good.

So I'll give you like a quick synopsis. Basically, it's like a really nice, sweet town. And it's focused on the high school kids, right? There's like this weird smell in the town for some reason. And they can't really figure out like what that reason is. So at some point during the first episode, they decide to send all the kids on, like, a camping trip while they, like, kind of try to figure out what the smell is all about. Maybe take care of the sewage issue or whatever. All the kids in the high school get on, like, five buses or whatever and go to this camping trip.

And they ended up going towards wherever they were going to camp and then turning around and just coming back. Like, so they didn't camp. When they got back, all the parents, all the adults are gone. And the smell is gone, too. So everyone kind of goes home. They're like, this is weird. I don't know where everyone went. You know, whatever.

They all probably went, like, on vacation because, like, we were all camping or whatnot. And then so the next day they're like, man, the Internet's not working. And, like, we can't text out. We can only text people that are, like, in the's not working. I'm like, we can't text out. We can only text people that are like in the town with us. So they like put together like a team of people to like go to like the next town, like figure out what's going on. So they jump in a car and they go and one of the exits of the town, completely blocked off.

So they're like, okay. So they jump in the car and they go to the other exit of the town and yeah, completely blocked off. So they are essentially stuck in this town and they are now having to create their own society. I like it. Yeah. It's cool. I mean, we're like five episodes in. It's great though.

It's just like, you know what it is? It's Lord of the Flies but like now and like a little bit older, you know? And then did you ever read the book back in the day called The Golden Compass? No, but didn't they turn that into a movie? They did.

And I read the book, actually. I really liked it. I thought it was cool. They made it into a movie and I thought the movie was cool, too. Anyways, HBO is now doing a series on it called His Dark Materials. Oh, I tried to. We talked about this, right? Because I tried to watch episode one. Oh, I don't i kept falling asleep yeah i don't know do you love it

sarah loves it because sarah never read the books or watched the movie so like this is all kind of cool to her whereas like i'm watching it being like i know who's bad i know who's good because i read the books you know but i will say you can glass half full these things in glass half empty them with the advent of movies basically going away it means that you don't have really great films anymore. But what it's doing is it's making it much easier to tell the tale of a book because you have longer format runs. You know, the book, they didn't do it justice in the movie theater because it was hard to squeeze in the entire book in the two hours. And now they're making this into a miniseries. They're not missing anything.

They're expounding upon characters. It's kind of cooler that way. I don't know. Right. Very true. Yes. I thought his dark materials is really cool. Oh, and then I watched another one.

We watched a lot of stuff this week. I know. Documentary murder documentary. It's called Who K, I know. Documentary, murder documentary. It's called Who Killed Little Gregory. That's creepy. Yeah. Okay, so this happens in France, okay? So listening to voiceovers and reading a lot of subtitles or whatever is going to annoy you.

This might not be your movie. So basically the story is this. It happens in like 1984, 85. This cute little family comes from like a big family in this like tiny little village. There's like one brother in the family who's like really doing well for himself. And he's married and he has a beautiful wife and a newborn baby boy. And for some reason, someone keeps prank calling the family, calling themselves the Raven and just talking so much mad shit to them and like really scaring them a lot. Then the Raven kind of like leaves him alone for a while.

And then the Raven returns, is calling them, kind of harassing them. And then one day, the mom comes home. The little boy is outside playing in the yard. And she comes out like 30 minutes later. He's gone. And like three hours later, they find his body in the river. Little boy's body in the river who is the raven trying to figure it out everyone in the family thinks it's someone else in the family

and then it's all about the trial and like this one judge just gotta watch it all right okay that sounds great yeah who killed little gregory little gregory oh i feel so bad then you watch like in france we think like our press and our media is bad like i feel like the press that that's where paparazzi stuff like that's where that stuff was like created like the press there is brutal bro wow yeah so anyways i've been trying to christmas shop oh i tried yesterday all day online it's so hard do we talk about this last week that i'm really not good at gifts no but i know gosh i'm a horrible gift shopper have you done your christmas shopping like i need to know

i need to know these two things i need to know what is your go-to gift for like a family member yeah and i need to know what is your go-to white elephant dirty santa gift oh are you asking me you're like asking the listeners both i need help well usually what i do with family is i like convene with the siblings and i'm like let's all go in together for something for mom they don't want to do that okay they you know when they well um one sister who will remain nameless wants to get her once she's already done gifts for everyone so it's just like because i begged everybody i begged the whole family to do white elephant or not white elf i'm sorry um like draw names yeah so that we everybody gets one great gift secret santa thank you or everybody can

just like really focus on one person and that sounded really stress-free and then miley was like well i've already bought all my gifts so like you guys can do that but that's like if she doesn't gonna do it it just won't work. Here's my thought on that. Yeah. But then also like, don't you want to get Miley's gift? Like everyone wants to get Miley's gift. Well, yeah, that's the thing.

Like she gets really good gifts. So if she's, I got to get her a really great gift. And then if I get her a really great gift and don't get Noah a really great gift, I'm going to be in big trouble. And then if I get both my sister's great gifts and get my brother's like socks, they're going to be like, what the hell? Yeah. I mean, I'm in a pickle. And then if I get both my sister's great gifts and get my brother's like socks, they're going to be like, what the hell? Yeah. I mean, I'm in a pickle. It's a tough time, you know, pickle.

Tough time to be alive here in America. Yeah. I say like the white elephant gifts or whatever. I always just. Yeah. I was always with alcohol, you know. That's it. Yeah.

I think I've done that before. I'm having a little Christmas gathering here on Friday. Bummed you're not here for it. And we're doing White Elephant. And I was like, I need a good gift. Olivia is flying in for it. She says that her gift is going to be the gift everyone wants. So now I want to outdo her.

And I want to get a gift everybody's going to want. Just get $1,000. Put $1,000 in an envelope. It's $30 and under. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, I don't have to tell you then. Put $30 in an envelope.

Not that I would ever put $1,000 into a gift. You want people to be into that gift. You throw $1,000 out. One year I did. It's funny because I don't smoke weed at all, but I got like an eighth of weed or however much. And everybody wanted it. It was like the hot white elephant gift. I was really proud of myself.

Yeah, I don't know. Good luck. This is my question to women. Would you rather, from your fiancé or boyfriend or husband, would you rather have 10 cool but relatively cheap gifts or one really nice gift for me i would have one really nice gift yeah that's kind of how i feel yeah i don't want to get you like 15 things and wrap it up i want to get you one really nice thing that blows your socks off and then be done but i don't know yeah that's the way to go like i know that sarah's gonna get me like 15 you you know, 15 things.

And then I'm going to only have one gift for her. Then I'm going to be like, God, I feel like such an asshole. But if it's really great, then it's really great. And that's just it. So have you done your Christmas shopping? You're done. No, I haven't really even started. I did like some Amazon stuff.

I think tomorrow I'm doing some stuff. Over the weekend, I'm doing some stuff. Okay, this makes me feel a little better. I felt like I was really putting it off to the last minute. I'm so excited. Tell me. Audible is now sponsoring the show. Oh my gosh. You've made it. You have made it. Yeah. Dude, you know, if you just kind of put out those positive vibes into the universe, it sometimes works, you know? It's very true. And I've been talking about all the books that I listened to on Audible. And now they're like, you know what?

We're going to sponsor this show because they do so much advertising for us for free. So here's the deal. Audible is hooking it up. And you know what? You guys know that I freaking love Audible. So here's the deal. It's a time of the year that when everyone is like traveling

or running around and getting thoughtful gifts for people that they care about. But you know what? You got to be selfish every once in a while. You got to think about yourself and maybe yourself an audible membership. And now is the best time to do it. They're offering 53% off for the first three months. Access to unbeatable selection of audiobooks, including bestsellers, motivation, mysteries, thrillers, memoirs, and so many more. You can choose three titles every month, one audiobook, and two exclusive Audible originals you can't hear anywhere else. You can listen on any device, anytime, anywhere with the Audible app. It's really great while commuting, at the gym, during your holiday travels, or like Wells likes to do on his runs. And right now for a limited time, you can get

three months of Audible for just $6.95 a month. That's more than half off the regular price. I wish I could show you guys the amount of titles that I've listened to on Audible. And you know, I paid full price when I got it. And now we're hooking it up with this great deal. So here's the deal. Once again, for a limited time, you get three months of Audible for just $6.95 a month. That's more than half off the regular price. Visit audible.com slash YFT or text YFT to 500-500. That's audible.com slash YFT or you can just text YFT to 500500. Brandi, so earlier today, I went to go see my good buddy, Chris, aka Cupcake. I saw this. I'm confused. I thought he lived in Nashville. He did, but now he lives in LA. And if you guys don't remember, Cupcake was on Caitlin Bristow season of The Bachelorette, and he is a dentist. He's like one of my favorite people from Bachelor Nation.

He's super nice. He's obviously super smart. He's a freaking dentist. So this is the second time I've seen him. So he's been my dentist for the past year. And he was like, dude, your gums and your teeth look really good. What have you been doing? And I had to be like, well, let me tell you about

my quip toothbrush. Oh, there it is. I freaking love my quip toothbrush. One, it looks cool. That gum metal gray. Two, it sticks to my mirror. So it's off all the icky stuff on my sink. Three, they send me reusable heads when I need them. Four, it vibrates, so it cleans my teeth better. And it gives me like notifications when to like switch sides of my mouth. So I brush for at least two minutes every time I clean the teeth. I love Quip. I do too. I have the rose gold toothbrush. So mine also looks super chic hanging on my bathroom mirror. And it is just so easy to pack. I travel so much and this toothbrush basically takes up no space in my cosmetic bag, which is so great because I take

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A YFTer sent me after I did the review of the vibrator on Amazon. They were like, dude, you need to read the reviews for the Haribo sugar-free gummy bears on Amazon. And I was like, okay. I have it here if you want me to do one. Yeah. There's a whole website. This is just the top four funniest reviews of Haribo sugar-free gummy bears. Huh.

Okay. So maybe we could do one, an episode. Are they awesome? They're just funny. Okay. Great. Do you want me to read the number one or the number four? If you're going to do all four, I think you got to start at four.

Okay. I thought I'd play like a sad song to go with this. I thought Sarah McLachlan's Angel would be a good. Oh, it's the saddest song ever. Okay. Oh, man. Words could not express what happened to me after eating these. The gummy bear cleanse.

If you're someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute and joy, my order is to run. First of all, for taste, I would rate these about a five. So good. Soft, true to taste, fruit flavors. I was a happy camper. But, or should I say, but with two Ts. Not long after eating about 20 of these, all hell broke loose.

I had a gaseous intestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating, beyond my worst nightmare. I had food poisoning from some bad shellfish, and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside of me. And then the, oh god, flashlights. Heavens to Mortgard. I don't even know what that is, but it's fucking funny. Heavens to Mortgard. The sounds like trumpets calling the demons back to hell. The stench like a thousand rotten corpses vomited.

I couldn't stand to stay in one room for the fear of coming to my own odors. But wait, there's more. And what came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was gaping, projectile

vomiting, a torrential flood of toxic waste, 100% liquid, flammable liquid, napalm. It was actually a bit humorous for a nanosecond as it was just beyond anything i could imagine possible and it went on for hours i felt violated when it was over which i think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day there was stuff coming out of me that i ate at my wedding back in 2005.

I had five pounds of these innocent-looking, delicious-tasting hell bears, so I told her friend what happened to me, thinking it had to be some type of sensitivity, and I had to the sugar substitute. And in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands. Silly woman. All the same for her. And a phone call from her whilst on the toilet because you kind of end up living in the bathroom for a spell. Telling me she really wished she would have listened.

I think she was crying. Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work since there was still 99% of the five-pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day.

I can't imagine where all those poor men and women pooped that day. I kept envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs, and trying to decide if they could make it down the ladder, or should they just jump? If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershock. P.S. When I ordered these, the warnings and disclaimers and legalese were not posted. I'm not a moron.

Also, not sure why so many people assume I'm a man. I'm a woman moron. Also, not sure why so many people assume I'm a man. I'm a woman. We poop too. Of course, our poop sparkles and smells like a walk in a meadow of wildflowers. Thanks for all the great comments. I've been enjoying reading them and so glad that the horror show that I experienced for snacking on these had at least made some people smile. Jeez. Jeez.

People, I actually get really impressed with people's creativity when they write reviews. That's the worst of the best. Oh, my God. That's so funny. That's insane. Well, I will not be buying sugar-free gummy bears ever. I know. Yeah.

Like I, I was reading through a bunch of these. One of them includes someone who was like getting on up, was like going to the airport and getting on a plane. So he got some sugar-free gummy bears in like before a security checkpoint. And then like things went wrong during the security checkpoint. We'll read that one later. Oh, that sounds

good. Yeah, like real bad. Oh, man. Speaking of pooping, I bought some edible glitter to put in some apple cider champagne for my party. I know.

Do you think I'm going to poop glitter after I have that? I sure as hell hope so. Me too. I'm kind of excited about it. Yeah. That's amazing. I'll take a picture for you. Yeah.

No, actually, don't do that. I'll just, I'll take your word for it. You know? I'll post it on Instagram. Yeah. No, don't do that. I'll just, I'll take your word for it. You know? I'll post it on Instagram. Yeah, no, don't do that. Yeah, that would really hurt my brand. I can't do that. Hold on.

I just want to get everyone ready for next week's Haribo sugar-free gummy bears. Okay? Haribo's never going to sponsor us now, just so you know. No, that's okay. Unfortunately, I was unaware of these reviews before consuming Satan's little death bears. After reading these little jewels

were made in Austria, I imagine rogue Nazi chemical weapon scientists escaped to Austria after the war and set up shop making unsuspecting masses suffer for their defeat. And it's hard at the end of the day. making unsuspecting masses suffer for their defeat. My experience started like many others. Some customer dropped off some bags of these for Christmas.

Looking at them for the better part of a month, I decided, let's eat some. First day, I had about 20 to 25 of them. That night, I experienced some slight discomfort and some crazy fucking dreams. But I did not associate them with the demon-spawn gummy bears. The next day, I had about a handful more of these delicious little devils, and all hell broke loose. After several short trips to the bathroom and gas noises like I have never heard coming from my stomach before, I decided to head home. But first, stop by the store and pick up some antacids.

This is so fun. Unfortunately, I was unaware of these reviews before consuming Satan's little death bears. Oh, man. We got three more episodes of this. This is going to be so good, man. Oh, my gosh. That's nuts.

I got some songs. You want to hear some tunage? Yeah, I got a song, too. Oh, my gosh. That's nuts. I got some songs. You want to hear some tunage? Yeah, I got a song, too. What do you got? I am a big Harry Styles guy, post One Direction. Okay. But he's put out some weird songs lately. Okay.

But he just put out one called Adore You that I really love. Speaking of One Direction, I think that Niall Horan is the worst name anyone's ever been named ever. Yeah, but I kind of like his music. No, yeah, that's totally fine. I agree. He's a wonderful singer, but

performer. But that Niall Horan is the worst name anyone's ever given anybody. It's not the worst. It's pretty bad. I feel like there's worse. It's scary to say.

Like my grandmother tells a story about from way back in the day where she met a woman named Anita Dick. That's awesome. That's a terrible name. But did she marry into that i don't know was her name like was her name like anita swanson and then she met someone named bob bob dick and she was like you know what i love him i'm gonna do it ladies and gentlemen may may I pronounce Anita Dick and Bob Dick. Wait, what's the Harry Styles song? It's called Adore You. All right. I mean, I just feel like this guy is just really living his best life right now. You don't have to say nothing. You don't have to say you're mine, honey.

I'll burn fire for you. Just let me adore you, honey. I'll burn fire for you. Just let me adore you. It's the only thing I'll ever do. Okay. Real dancey. I like it. You know, I feel it. Cool.

I was doing our children's podcast, our kids' podcast, by the way. If you got kids and you, I don't know know you're driving to work and you're like dude man i wish i had something to listen to to make these kids shut up the early birds podcast i do with my buddy steve lee who's a children's singer it's pretty great he played this on the show this past week and i loved it so much i was like i need to play this on your favorite thing this song is the cutest freaking song in the world, hands down. So it's by this guy who used to live in Nashville. His name's Elliot Park, and it's called Always.

I think you guys are really going to like it. At your worst, at your best, stinky feet, hair in a mess, always, always. mess always always chocolate ice cream on your face blue ribbon smile or in last place always always in all of your odd ways you're big in small ways straight and crossways Pink or blue No matter what they say No matter what you do Any and always I'm for you And if you fell into A big black hole

And came out squeezed down Infinitely small You know you'd be my favorite singularity oh it's so good uh so anyways elliot park the song is called always but always is spelled it's two words not one and then the other song that i actually heard on like someone like made an instagram video and played this and And I was like, oh, this is so good. It's a dude named Alex Guthrie. The song is called Colorado. And really, I just love the first like 35 seconds of it.

I think it's just like lyrical gold. So here's the song called Colorado. I got sepia tones running through my bones And an old-timey tune played through analog phones And here's where the living only twat need to show Some may say that I'm an old soul Some may say that I'm an old soul. I had a pain in my heart and no smile on my face.

So I let it all go, life's too precious to waste. That's Alex Guthrie. The song is called Colorado. You got any other ones? Nope, that was it. Just Harry Styles this week. All right. I got a new book I'm reading.

Oh, a book. Well, so you weren't on the episode when I was talking about the book that I'm reading called Red Rising, but it's so good, by the way. Were you a big fan of The Hunger Games? Massive. Especially the books. Oh, okay. If you like The Hunger Games, you should read Red Rising. Okay.

And I also think it's going to be like the next Hunger Games. I think they're making it into a movie. So I finished Red Rising. Did you listen to that Shively episode? I have not yet. Jerk. Well anyways, go listen to that episode where I talk about the premise of Red Rising and now I'm on the second book which

is called Golden Sun and it's just, we left off it was crazy and then we're back in it baby. So I'm It's just we left off. It was crazy. And then we're back in it, baby. So Pierce Brown writing some good books, man. Liking it. Are they young adult books or no?

I would say yes and no. It reminds me a lot of the Hunger Games. Hunger Games were YA books. What is that? Young adult? Young adult. Yeah. Okay, I'll give Adult? Young Adult. Yeah. Okay, I'll give you

the quick synopsis. So basically, it's years down the road, we are colonizing and terraforming the other planets. They've now created a caste system,

like low class, middle class, and upper class, and they've done it with colors. And so the people that are on Mars, they are mining in Mars for this thing called H3, which I guess is like their new fuel.

And they are reds. They're people who are known as the reds who are basically mining in Mars. And they're trying to get the planet ready to be terraformed. And they've been kind of like basically the slaves of the human race the past like 700 years and then what you find out is that mars is completely terraformed it's a huge city beautiful on top and they didn't even know it they've just been slaves this entire time and it's about one guy who is going to go from being a red all the way to being a gold, which is the top, and how he has to get there. And there's a similar thing.

They have to go to this kind of crazy school, and there's this kind of crazy battle that's all kind of a simulation almost, very similar to The Hunger Games. Okay. Sounds good. I just put it in my Amazon cart. Yeah, you're going to like it.

Anyways. All right. You got anything else? I don't it in my Amazon cart. Yeah, you're going to like it. Anyways. All right. You got anything else? I don't think so. All right. Well, I'm going to go downstairs and make another drink. Okay. I'm going to try to go to sleep now that I've taken way too late of a nap.

Yeah. Sorry, dude. That sucks. That's okay. That's okay. It was worth it because I had a really nice energy burst for this podcast. And that's how dedicated I am, guys. Yeah.

I love it. Even though that one person said it seems like we don't even care anymore. I know. Little do they know. But anyways, but also like, yeah, love it. Give us five stars. Say whatever you want. We'll read it on the podcast.

You know, that's all that matters. We just want that five stars, you know. Next episode, can we read some nice ones? Yeah. You want me to end read some nice ones? Yeah. You want me to end with a nice one? Yes, please. Okay. This is the most recent one from Gigi.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, seven.

Love it. Five stars. Oh my God, Wells, that voice recording you shared had me crying on my commute to work this morning. People probably thought I was just another nut in the subway. Anyhow, I went to work and told my friend the story,

and he told me of another one he had read about which included a poop knife. This guy was at his friend's house and asked where his friend kept his poop knife. His friends were all like, wait, what? So, I guess it's when the poop's too big and you fear it may not flush, you use a poop knife to cut it up.

Apparently, this is a thing because he said in the comments, because he said in the comments, some people said yes, they have a knife or a poop spatula. So there you go. It's a crazy world we live in. LOL. Thanks for making my commute fun at least once a week. Wait, do you have a poop knife?

No. Oh, my God. It's not a thing. I think it's a thing. I would never, ever stick my hand in the toilet and cut my poop in half. Or in thirds, depending on how big it was. It's never that big. Well, it's going to be glittery, apparently, a little bit later.

I'm excited about this. I'm sending you a photo. You didn't pick. Merry Christmas. Yeah, that's what I want. Christmas poo. The Christmas poo. Yeah, Mr. Hanky.

Yeah. All right. Well, good luck with your Christmas shopping. Thanks, Wells. I'll talk to you next week. The Christmas poo. Yeah. It's Mr. Hankey. Yeah. All right. Well, good luck with your Christmas shopping. Thanks, Wells. I'll talk to you next week. Okay. Bye. Okay.

Bye. Christmas poo. Hello. Bye. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.