Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - The Oscars and our last episode ever?!

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

Not only did Brandi not get Wells a wedding gift, but she doesn’t even invite him to parties! This week we hear about Miley’s album launch party, including all the celebs that made the cut and the 2 besties who did not. Poor Sarah doesn’t get an invite, and is married to someone going downhill at an alarmingly rapid rate. Speaking of bad things, there was an avalanche in Palm Springs, Southwest Airlines sucks, and Wells has more least fave than fave things to talk about. Your hosts have lots to say about the Oscars, The Bachelor, sushi, and buttholes (well, Wells rides the butthole convo solo), and Brandi shares that Sorry We’re Stoned is back, plus Miley’s new album is out now, which, if you’re not streaming it, get on it!!  Don’t forget to rate, review, and follow Your Favorite Podcast! Plus, keep up with us between episodes on our Instagram page, @yftpodcast and be sure to leave us a voicemail with your fave things at 858-630-1856!  Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers:  Jenni Kayne — Find your forever pieces @jennikayne and get 15% off with promo code YFT at jennikayne.com/YFT! #jennikaynepartner  Prose — Go to prose.com/yft for your FREE in-depth hair consultation and 15% off your first order today  The Farmer's Dog — Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/YFT. Plus, you get FREE shipping  Zocdoc — Go to Zocdoc.com/YFT and download the Zocdoc app for FREE 

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What did you say? I said I would tell you that my hearing's excellent, but that would be a complete lie. Yeah. I can't hear shit. I'm super deaf. Same. Definitely blew my eardrums out, you know, listening to loud music my whole life. Well, I'm playing it, I'm sure. Yeah, that too. And now you live in headphone mix. Yep. That was my problem is that was years of radio of me living in a headphone mix and then now i'm like what my whole life my whole relationship with sarah is what i can't hear shit man no good sarah poor sarah she when she met me i was at my prime you were yeah i was thriving i know and i am on the downhill it's so so true. It's going so fast.

Yeah, very true. Yeah. Yikes. All right, YFTers, guess what? We're in person today. Mm-hmm. How does it make you feel? Live and in studio.

Yeah. We're not live. I feel great. I love coming in here. Yeah. It's a vibe, you know? But it's good to have you here. I wish you guys had some nicer weather for me,

to tell you the truth. I know. The Arctic River is flowing. It's some sort of like atmospheric river that's happening. I see. But you know what? I'm going to say some dad shit real quick. Okay. It's good. California is the first time we're like not in like a severe drought in a very long time. That's true. But the floods are cray cray. I know. Have you seen Lake Arrowhead? No. There's so much fucking snow. They're digging people out of their homes that have been buried under,

like their whole house is buried under snow for weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And people are dead in there because they've starved to death or froze to death. It's serious. I know,

there's a lot of rain up there. But the good news is that I do think that all this snow will melt and then fill up Lake Mead because Lake Mead has been like, hopefully almost drained.

Yeah. And that's how Vegas and Palm Springs get all their, no, get all their electricity. Oh, through the Hoover dam. Ah. And so it's like,

it was like super, super low. It was so low that they were finding so many dead bodies over there. Yeah. But we just got to think back in the day when the mob ran Vegas, they would just pay people out to like me and they would just put them in barrels and kill them. For sure. And so now there's just so many, there's so many dead bodies.

So we need more water so the dead bodies can stay. Right, right, right, right. Because we don't want to discover any more dead bodies. Too many dead bodies. Yeah. Did you see the avalanche in Palm Springs? No, there's an avalanche in Palm Springs? Sure is.

We got aliens. Yeah. We got Silicon Valley Bank failing. Oh yeah. Heard about that. We got way too much snow. Yep. We got avalanche in We got Silicon Valley Bank failing. Oh, yeah. Heard about that. We got way too much snow. Yep. We got avalanche in Palm Springs.

Cray cray. You can't have bad things happen in Palm Springs because it's all old people over there and they can't move fast. No. You know? Maybe they can be attacked by like a glacier because that would move slow enough for them to be able to like use their walker to get away. Definitely no glaciers in Palm Springs.

No, there's not. There should be though. It's way too fucking hot there. People love Palm Springs. Can't stand it. I don't like it either. Can't stand it. No. It's not my vibe. It's too hot. Way too hot. And I like the heat. I like the heat. I have a bone to pick with you.

With me? Yes. What'd I do this time? Well, you know, a couple weeks ago, you were like, I'm coming to LA. I'm coming to LA. And I was like, oh, what are you coming for? And she goes, oh, I'm coming for Miley's big. Oh, release party. Release party.

And she's like, you guys should come. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, okay, great. Let me know. And then I'm looking on Instagram. And what do I see? The party happened. No invite.

Whoops. In my defense, you guys never actually come. That's no reason to not. Well, first of all, you invited us and then you reneged on the invite. Well, I just never like sent you the deets. That's what I mean. I was kind of hoping for like if you were serious about coming like a, hey, what are the deets for the party? And I never got it.

I didn't know when it was. I don't want to come. That's not how invites work. You invited us. And then I was like, okay, great. Whenever it is, I'll go. It was fun. It looked like a great time.

And the celebrities that were there, it was like, well, we actually know them. No, I know. I actually was at the party and said to my mom, like, you know, I really feel like Sarah and Miley would just be besties because they have a lot of the same friends. And they're very similar people, both Sagittariuses. I feel like Miley and Sarah need to hang out more. Well, we would love that if we were ever invited to the parties. Also, that party, a lot happened last minute. A lot.

I don't want excuses. And I can't. We'd have to cut it if I really tell you what happened. But it did change last minute. It was supposed to be Friday night because that's when the album came out. But then they changed it to Thursday night, really last minute.

And then they changed the location. Originally it was in Malibu. Then it changed to Beverly Hills, like Gucci. So a lot of changes and some things, I'll tell you, off mic that were happening last minute that made it a little sketch. Well, we wouldn't have made it sketch. We'd have raised the cool factor in there.

You would have, you would have. You guys would have been a great addition, but like I said, y'all never actually come, so. That's because we get pseudo-invited to shit. No, you've been actually invited before. And when we first met, you came, wait, you came all the way out there to Miley's birthday and stayed like five seconds.

That's not true. I stayed like an hour and a half. Your dad's place is an hour away from Nashville. I had three drinks. I was like, if I stick around, I'm not going to drive home. Then I'm going to be stuck here. Also, it was out in a field. It was so cold.

It was so fun. So cold. It was the best night ever. Hold on so cold. It was so fun. So cold. It was the best night ever. Hold on. I came. You invited me. I came. Let's be honest.

I would have done the exact same thing at her party this time if I was truly invited. I would have come for about an hour and then been like, okay. I actually think you guys would have stayed. It was fun as fuck. Don't fucking rub it in. No, it was lovely not to rub it in. But let's see i don't know how or why really but a couple of the kids from white lotus were there um adam demarco who plays the dorky guy

that falls in love with the prostitute yeah and i think her name is hayley hayley lou is that her name the girl that plays uh j plays Jennifer Coolidge's assistant? Oh, yeah. She was there and she was lovely. We know both of them. She was lovely. Obsessed. Also Paris Hilton, Diplo were there.

So let me ask you this. How did they get invites? I don't know. Because Miley doesn't, had never met them. So I guess just because they're the cool kids and it's Oscar weekend, they're here and whatever. They were like, someone was like, this is a good look. So they got invited. But they, but Miley loved Haley and she was so cute.

And they were just great additions to the party. Also Baz Luhrmann was there. And I, out of everybody, that's who I was fangirling over. I was obsessed. He's my fave. I might stop the podcast. Not for today, for good. Because I'm now starting to realize that I don't think we're really friends.

Yes, we are. No, because if I was having a big party. It wasn't my party. Val was there. But Val's friends with Miley. I'm friends with you! Val got a personal invitation. I'm just telling you like it is. People that don't even know

her got personal invitations. Fucking kids from White Lotus Season 2. I know. Maybe if you'd been in White Lotus Season 2, I don't know. Jesus Christ! This brings me to a fuck you very much that I wanted to read. Oh, is it about me?

Yes. And I think it's poignant and I think it's timely. And I wasn't going to do this. I wasn't going to do this. Oh, here we go. But you know what? I think the YFTers need to know what type of friends we really are. Oh, here we go.

This fuck you very much comes from Moe P71528. Is this a dude? I don't know. Subject line, fuck you very much, Brandy, in all caps, five stars. Thanks for that. Brandy, got to admit, I loved you. Huh. Past tense.

Fascinating. And yeah, sure, maybe I loved you. Huh? Past tense. Fascinating. And yeah, sure. Maybe I still do, but to now find out you are a person that doesn't give gifts at the wedding of good friends. Not sure if we're good friends, guys. Has me shook to the core. Toss the bride and groom a few bucks at least to cover your plate.

Okay, maybe don't cover your plate at Wells and Sarah's wedding since they serve freaking caviar crusted Wagyu beef steaks on top of a layer of bluefin tuna drizzled with white truffle oil and 24 karat gold. Okay, that's not true. We didn't do all that. I also didn't eat that. Because we didn't have that. Well, I don't eat any of those things, so. I don't give a shit.

Just because you didn't have that. Well, I don't eat any of those things, so. I don't give a shit. Just because you didn't eat at the wedding doesn't mean that we didn't buy the plate for you. Go ahead and finish, and then I have some things to say. So yeah, maybe don't cover your plates for their wedding, but come on, Brandy, be better. I wish I could total up the amount I spent to even attend your wedding weekend, but I don't have receipts in front of me, but I would say just, just purely guessing

the flight from Nashville to LA had to have been at least three 50 round trip. That's at a minimum. If I booked it in advance, which I'm pretty good about that. So that's, we'll say three 50. Um, the Airbnb was like three 50 a night or something like that. And I did stay two nights. So we're, then we're looking at like over a grand. Okay. I did get to borrow my mother's car, which helped because I didn't have to pay for a rental car, but I did have to pay for gas to drive from LA all the way up there and back. And Lord knows gas is almost six, $7 a gallon at the time. So we're looking at, you know, probably at least $1,200 I spent just to attend. Okay,

that was the rehearsal dinner drinks for you. That also didn't include my dress, which was very pricey because, you know, I had to look great

considering Vogue shot it, you know? Yeah, that's true. So the dress was probably $400. I mean, I think what we've learned here is that I threw a party

and I invited you. We should start the show. Yeah, we should start the show. Go for it. Bros knows. I know you hate me, but you're listening to your favorite thing podcast with. Wells and Brandy. All right, quick PSA for those of you out there who rent.

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into the future with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 89% off UPS, DHL, Express, and USPS rates. What, you don't want to save money? Come on. Deliver a better customer experience with the industry-leading features that help you find the best carrier rates, print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code YOURFAVORITETHING to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. your free 60-day trial.

That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code your favorite thing. Do it. This might be the last episode we ever do together. No, it's not. Just so you know. Well, it has nothing else to do. We will continue this.

It's not true. Don't worry. I got plenty of shows I can do. What are you doing? I have another podcast with iHeart. How are you doing? Well, I just went to South by Southwest. I saw that.

Yeah. I love South by. It was fun. I love Austin. I used to not be able to say that out of like allegiance to Nashville. Ah, but they're so different. Yeah, but one's Music Capital USA and one's Live Music Capital USA, like too similar. Yeah, I agree.

And it's also the same vibe. It's like a southern town that has like a lot of culture and artists living in a very liberal progressive city inside a very conservative ecosystem eggshell everyone's got a lot of money but they dress like they don't and like the whole vibe is like be a hipster and then also i'll tell you what that austin's got over Nashville. Barbecue? Food just in general. I know.

Like, they fucking destroy us in food. Agree. We did a cool thing for iHeart. For everyone that doesn't know, I do a podcast with Tyler Florence, who's on Food Network and stuff. And he's got the Great American Food Truck Race going on right now. And so we went out there to do, like, an iHeart party where we effectively cooked in front of a bunch of like ad executives and I heart big wigs and stuff. And it was a lot of fun. And and but we also did a podcast with this guy named Tyson Cole.

And so I guess this episode will be coming out next week. But Tyson Cole is like one of the best sushi chefs in America. You don't think of Austin being like a sushi chef place. No, but there's some good sushi there. And what's amazing is that he's a white dude. Which, I think only in Austin could you like pull that off. If you were in New York, people would be like, we can't go to the white

guy. Au contraire. Yeah. In Seaside, Florida. Did you ever go to 30A Seaside area? Yeah. That's like the place to go from Nashville for vacation. They have a restaurant down there. I forget the fucking name of it, but it's like the most popular like fish restaurant there. And the sushi chef is a white guy with a beard.

Okay. And he's great. Well, anyways, this guy, Tyson Cole has, has a bunch of restaurants in Austin, but we went to one called Uchi.

Oh, I love that place. You've been there. They have one in Denver. I've been to. Oh really? It's amazing. One. I learned so much. Everyone should go go listen this episode mainly because i ask him questions

that i feel like everyone should know about going to like a very nice sushi restaurant you know we go there as americans and we do like the bullshit ordering you know you order like volcano row and california row and like you order like way too many things and like and basically he talks a lot about if you go to a really nice sushi restaurant, you should let the chef. Yes. Just be like, send everything out. Just take us on a ride.

Yeah. Like just do that. So we did that and it was fucking amazing. That's what I did there too. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's like the thing to go there and do. Yeah.

At that place specifically. Yeah. Just like take the wheel. Jesus. We can't, we don't know what we're doing. But the other thing I was like, so what do you pair with everything? At that place specifically. Yeah. Just like take the wheel, Jesus. We don't know what we're doing. But the other thing I was like, so what do you pair with everything? Because like people know like when you go to an Italian restaurant and you order, you know, something, you get the wine, you get the Chianti or whatever.

And French restaurants, you get the Bordeaux. And I was like, how should you order booze in a sushi restaurant? And he was like, all right, you should always start with sake, chilled sake, get a good one. Everyone should have some. Then you should get a Sapporo or a Kirin, like just a good, easy drinking beer. And then he was like, you should close the night out with a very good Japanese whiskey. So I was like, I didn't know that. Anyways, I learned so much. I met another chef.

I was like hobnobbing with big chefs this weekend. Who are you? I'm killing it over here. Do you know who Jose Andres is? No. So he's a world renowned, amazing chef. He's from Spain. He's the most lovely man I've ever met. He's just out here saving the world. So he owns a nonprofit called World Central Kitchen. Oh, like literally. Yeah. Okay. And he goes into like ravaged nations, Yeah. Okay. And he goes into like ravaged nations, countries, states, whatever. Hurricanes that like destroyed, you know, down South or like he was just in Ukraine. He went to Turkey after the

earthquakes and he goes there and he makes millions of plates of food for people. Changing the world. Jose Andres, give him a follow on Instagram, I guess. And yeah, he's got a bunch of obviously restaurants everywhere. Yeah. Austin's great. Austin is great. Jose Andreas. Give him a follow on Instagram, I guess. And yeah, he's got a bunch of, obviously, restaurants everywhere. Yeah, Austin's great. Austin is great. When did you get back? Yesterday? Yeah. I'm an in-and-out guy. Flew in, did my biz. I almost didn't go out to dinner.

Oh. I almost didn't do that, but then I was like, I should do this. I should go experience it. Went and did that. Ran into Gavin DeGraw. Oh, cute. Hung out with Gavin. We got wasted together. And then I was on the 9 a.m. flight and did that. Ran into Gavin DeGraw. Oh, cute. Hung out with Gavin. We got wasted together. And then I was on the 9 a.m. flight back. Wow. Yeah. I had to fly Southwest because South

by Southwest. And I fucking hate Southwest. I mean, it's not the best. Here's my question. What's better? Exit row or bulkhead? It depends. Okay? Because I fly Southwest a lot. Yeah.

If I have to check a bag and I have to wait around at baggage claim anyway, I would rather have the exit row. Okay. Let me ask you this. Can you lean your seat back in exit rows? Because some exit rows you can't. So here's the catch with that. Okay. The actual exit row you can.

It's the row in front that goes into the exit row that can't lean back. you can, it's the row in front that goes into the exit row that can't lean back. And so on bigger planes like Delta and American that have two rows of exit rows, the back, the last one, the second exit row can recline. The first one cannot because it can't recline into an exit row. So that's the key. You can't, don't ever sit in the row in front of the exit row because then you can't recline. Yeah. I'll tell you what I do like about Southwest. Okay. I do like the little bag of nuts that it's not even nuts. It's like snack mix. Yeah. Yeah. It's like Chex Mix, I think. Yeah. But also, can we bring down the number of pretzels

in there and then ramp up the little wafer thing? I agree. The wafers are great. Or just a wafer packet. Yeah. I also like the Chex. Yeah, me too. I like that too. Yeah, they are yummy. Those are great. Yeah. They've got their internet very dialed. Oh, really? I think so. Yeah, they are yummy. Those are great. Yeah. They've got their internet very dialed. Oh, really?

I think so. Like one, it's free to watch movies, but I also like you can watch live TV. And like that was important for me because I wanted to watch the golf. So I got to watch the entire live thing or like any sporting event. Like that was cool. But then they also have a thing where you can message for free still. Yeah. That's key.

I feel like a lot of airlines are hopping on that. That's great. Yeah. I hate Southwest so much. Yeah. And what sucks is that it really is like a big Burbank hug. And that I would, I love to fly out of Burbank.

That's only a couple of minutes away. And like LAX is at the worst place in the world. Worst place in the world. I think that there's like a realm of hell. That's like not as bad as that. I know. I refuse to do it. Yeah.

Yeah. Did you watch the Oscars? Yes. Same. I watched the entire thing. I didn't watch the entire thing. Sarah did. I think Jimmy Kimmel did okay.

I thought he killed it. Yeah. I think he's very funny. Obviously he's very funny. His starting monologue or whatever was so fucking long. That guy talked for 15 minutes straight. I looked at the, I was like, this is a 15 minute monologue or whatever was so fucking long. That guy talked for 15 minutes straight. I looked at the,

I was like, this is a 15 minute monologue. The only thing that kind of annoyed me is that like, I get you have to make the Will Smith joke. It was funny the first time. Yeah. But like they did it like four or five times. I get it.

I know it was funny the first time though. But then it was like, okay, we told that joke. Yeah. It's like pineapple on pizza or moist. Like we know. We know.

Okay, first time, yuck, yuck, yuck. And then like, okay, I don't give a shit anymore. I did think like overall, I thought the monologue was very funny. I thought he did a good job. What did you think about... Everything Everywhere All at Once?

Yeah, like do you think that... I didn't watch that, did you? I didn't. I talked about it on the show. It is very, very good. Do you think that deserved all the awards that it got? Probably. It was far and away the best movie of the year.

But I think the triangle of sadness was like right up there. And it didn't win very much. It didn't because I think it just got ran over. I guess so. I think the Academy likes storylines a lot. The storyline of Everything Everywhere All at Once is so great. I mean, you have the guy who was this child actor that was in like Indiana Jones and the Goonies and like wasn't able to get work for a very long time and worked as like a DP and clawed his way back into this thing. Like that's such a great story.

And then you have Jamie Lee Curtis, who's never won an Oscar, which is crazy to me. That's so wonderful. And then the lead of it, obviously winning like she's iconic. Yeah, she's awesome. So I was like, I get this whole like this is the reason why. This is why I'm not really, I'm not so like sold on the Academy Awards. The best movie this past year was Top Gun. And it wasn't even close.

You know, in terms of like dollar sales. I mean, yes, Top Gun had the most dollar signs or whatnot. But like that's not really what the Oscars are about. It more about the art of it you know the creativity of it like and the specifics of like all the all the different like and that's I feel like that's why they give awards for like cinematography and sound and writing and like all the like like specific awards for everything it's like you're really breaking down like what makes a movie great and like celebrating each individual aspect of it for the most part I mean obviously it's like picture of the year and things are more broad but i don't i don't i think it's like the grammys the grammys aren't about what songs sold the best

or did the best numbers right it should be because it's about the art of like the performance or the songwriting or the vocals or like whatever yes i agree with that but there is a quantifiable number of people who enjoyed the art that was created the most and that is by so that effectively is the best movie but like is it the best just because everybody wanted to see like i don't know i don't agree with that do you know anyone who didn't like top gun i didn't even see it well fuck okay so but that doesn't mean you didn't like it true but like i mean i think like top gun what you know an easy watch yeah it's enjoyable but like i don't think there was much depth to top gun the same way there was some of these other films and things like that you can't say that because i can't that would just be my guess if i had to guess yeah like did

you cry during top gun yes i did i definitely would not have cried i don't cry you need to go watch top gun are you kidding me watch it on your plane ride back i could it's so good yeah i guess brendan frazier went like another that was a great win but that's another like storyline of like a guy that worked forever in the 90s then like was kind of canceled because i think i think it's a fucked up story of like he said he was something happened on set like i'm uncomfortable and he got kind of canceled for like saying that oh shit uh and that now he has this like big resurgence you know he seems so grateful and i think people like that yeah which is great yeah i don't know to know. To me, these awards, these Oscars and Grammys, are just more about celebrating the art and the creativity of it

more so than the sales and the numbers. There's plenty of other awards to celebrate that and shit, and I don't know. Those are my thoughts. What I learned was I need to see All Quiet on the Western Front. I know. I read that book as a kid. You did?

Yeah. It's fucking heavy, dude. I bet. It's not. Yeah, it cleaned house It's fucking heavy, dude. I bet. It's not. Yeah, it cleaned house. Elvis didn't win shit. I know.

Which I think compared to the other things nominated that that was fair. Here's my thing. I do think Austin was good, but you know. It's just a tired storyline for me. Ray Charles or Johnny Cash or- I know. They've done that like biopic thing to death. Yeah, they have. I think that if they had made Elvis more gritty,

the real story of it, because a little bit of a puff piece for Elvis. I think if they had done that, he would have had a better shot at it. Yeah. Agree. I did want more Banshees of Inner Sharon to win. I know. I like that movie. Yeah, I think they got a little snubbed for sure. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. Agree. I did want more Banshees of Inner Sharon to win. I know.

I like that movie. Yeah, I think they got a little snubbed for sure. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. Do you want to do like a quick batch thing? Sure. How do we feel about... I feel like Zach's really under fire these days.

Yeah, you know, it seems like he doesn't love it when there's like any difficulty in a relationship. Yes, which is a relationship. Yes. Which is a massive red flag. Kind of, you know. Kind of. Because, you know, like this whole thing you're driving toward disengagement. Let me tell you something about being engaged, kid.

And getting married. There is a lot of adversity in that. Yes. And the way you have a very strong relationship is being able to like wade through those waters. Uh-huh. And it seems like he does not want to do that at all. Not at all. It's not good.

I know. When I watch it lately, like I'm just half paying attention, but then I see all like the highlights on TikTok. You know, when he let go or when the girl, the cute girl that I was- Catherine? Cat? No, the girl before that, the cute one that never wears makeup. Brooklyn? Really quiet.

Oh no, Jess? Jess. cat no the girl before that the cute one that never wears makeup that's brooklyn really quiet oh no jess jess when he when jess left i saw the clips on tiktok where it was like literally one second he's saying i feel so strong about us and now you're doing this and then the minute he realizes like it's not like he's gonna send her he's like i just i'm not sure like i'm just not feeling very confident it's like you literally just said you how confident you felt and you couldn't believe him acting this way you You're totally changing your story. And then, um, and then I think it was her that like, yeah, he, he sent her home, I guess. But I felt like it was kind of a mutual thing. Like she was ready to leave and like whatever. And he immediately goes back and he's like, I had to send Jess home. And it's like, did you, or did she kind of leave

on her own? Or maybe it was Kath that I felt that way about. It was one of them. And I was like, oh, he's real quick to say, like it was, you know, he was sending her home. But to me, it kind of felt like she was ready to go. Yeah. Because both those girls, I think, like knew they weren't at the top of the list, right?

And so they just wanted to go. It's a little bit of like, I want you to be authentic and I want you to be vulnerable and I want you to be open. But then also, but don't do that actually. I don't want that at all. Yeah. I also think it's like just over.

Like I think that Katie, I think Katie is the winner. I know. And he's maybe just a bad actor. Maybe. Like he just can't like push on through. Yeah. But my whole thing is this. And I keep seeing teases of like fantasy sweets are all around the

corner and we're not gonna have sex oh yeah whose idea is that his he says it i don't know but again we had this problem in paradise this last year is that no one would go to the boom boom room because they didn't want like the perception of like what that means and i and i get that that can live with you this whole like there for the right reasons thing, I question your being there for the right reasons if you're not allowing yourself to become intimate with someone that you might get engaged to. I agree. And then it seems like you just want to get engaged to somebody on TV. And listen, if you're super religious and don't believe in that, that's one thing. But I don't think any of these people are like that. No. If you're serious about getting engaged to

somebody, you better know if you are serious about getting engaged to somebody you better know if you are compatible sexually it is a very important part of a relationship yep and so when i hear like we're not gonna have sex then i'm like then this is all bullshit i know i agree i agree and i think he's gonna fuck one of them you do i think he's gonna fuck katie yeah the problem is is that like this stigma of the past couple of seasons have happened. Was it Maddie who told Peter, like, if you fuck anybody else. Well, that's because she's super religious. Super religious. And also, like, there's a whole other storyline of her and her husband.

Oh, God. They're weird. And that's a very good example of, like, knowing your sexual compatibility before you get married. Uh-huh. Because they're having issues with that from what I've seen. Shocker. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, no shit

because you guys didn't know if like your P and V matched up. I know, it's a big deal. It is a huge deal. You only get to fuck one thing for the rest of your life. Yikes. Might as well make sure it fits.

It's gotta. You know? Yeah. But then the same thing happened with Clayton. Oh. You know, when, I forget who. Yeah, Susie. Susie was like, I can't get there if you fuck somebody else.

Uh-huh. Dude. So all these people are seeing that and being like, man, if I do that, then I'm just going to ruin everything for me. I see, uh-huh. And I feel like we need to change the narrative of this show. If this show is going to work. Right. Going forward, we need to go back to the, like, the lead gets to fuck all of them if he wants to.

Because that's a big part of making the decision about who you want to get engaged to. Yes, true. Very true. Anyways, I'll get off my soapbox. I remember having this conversation with people in Paradise when they were like, we're not going to the Boom Boom Room. And I was like, why? And I was like, you know, it's going to look bad. Like, you know, I don't want, you know, my grandma.

I'm like, you're on a show called Bachelor in Paradise. Like, it's already trashy what you're doing. You're already like flaunting it around in like a string bikini. Yeah. Like, I don't understand. This moral compass of yours is spinning on its axis. What is happening here? Yeah.

Anyways, I'm rooting for the kid. I guess. I guess. Alright, is that enough batch stuff? Yeah. Okay. Have you watched anything recently? What have I watched? Did you watch the end of Last of Us? Yes. The last episode comes out. No, that was

last night. Did you watch it? Yeah, of course. Last night? Yes. After the Oscars? Yes oh you didn't watch the oscars really we watched the oscars and we watched last oh i watched the oscars and went straight to sleep dude this is the second week in a row of a show that you started that now i'm obsessed with but we can't talk about but it just came on late last night i know my bedtime oh my god but i'm caught up until then okay is this the end of it or is there a season two? It looks like there's going to be a season two.

Okay, because everyone's saying it's done. But I feel like that can't be. I mean, the way that it ends, it doesn't seem like it's done. Okay, great. Love that. Yeah, well, we can't talk about that yet. No, but this last episode is Pedro Pascal's episode. Oh, good.

And so it's like we were talking about it and she was like, do you think everyone's going to win an Emmy? And I was like, I think like the little girl's definitely going to win. She's so good. Yeah. Nick Offerman has to win for his episode. Has to. And then Pedro Pascal, I think has to win.

I think you will. He's like now like the zaddy and like everyone's into it. But this last episode, you're you're like oh this one's yours and oh it's hard and also like so he does this thing in the episode that's so fucking amazing where he walks this tightrope of being the most vulnerable he's ever been and being also the toughest he's ever been and it's really really cool to see that juxtaposition in his character. Can't wait. Where you're like, you feel for him, but then you're like, fucking kill him.

Fuck yeah, Pedro. Go, Joel, go. It's so good. The show is so, I went to bed last night and be like, it's a good show. It's a good show. Such a good show. It's such a good show. It's so good.

Oh my God. And yeah, I hope it goes for a while. I think because of how popular it is, it will. Like even if they hadn't really planned on it, I think now they're probably going to be like, wait, this is our biggest show. Yeah, they can't get rid of it now. Now they're figuring out ways that they can do three seasons of it

or four seasons or whatever. Exactly. Great show. Yeah, I agree. I got a couple I didn't like. Oh no. Yeah. And you know what?

This show is about things that we love, but also to veer you away from things you might not love. It's very true. Okay. Everyone knows I love like a murder mystery doc, right? Uh-huh. This isn't really a murder mystery, but it kind of is, I guess. Yes.

I started it, too. MH370, The Lost Flight. Uh-huh. I can't stand it. Why? I watched the first like half, I'd say. The main guy who looks like a knockoff version of George Stephanopoulos is the biggest fucking hack I've ever seen in my entire life

when it comes to aviation journalism. It's so frustrating. This fucking guy, he's like, here's what might have happened. And then they create this entire scenario and it's so fucking far-fetched yeah and you're like what the fuck are you talking about and then they have like one aviation guy who's like that's the dumbest thing and like that it could never happen that way and he has all these cockamamie ideas and you're like dude you're just you're making life miserable for a bunch of people and a bunch of people's families whose lives are already fucking miserable because they all died. You're such a piece of garbage.

And then there's this one guy who his title is Adventurer. Oh. And it's like we're talking to the adventurer right now. This is the crack squad of people we have for this documentary. Come to find out the adventurer is actually fucking legit. But then that fucking guy makes up some cockamamie idea.

All of a sudden he's a spy for Russia? The adventurer is? Why would you say that? Anyways, do you think the Kremlin's like, you know what we need? We need adventurer on our side. We need this hack man who... No, dude.

He's a fucking washed up John B. Dad wannabe. Not a real guy, but he does find a bunch of pieces of the plane. Does he? Yeah. That's the only... I mean, here's the thing. Yeah. You know I love a conspiracy theory more than anyone.

Yeah. The plane fucking crashed. Yes. Like, that's just it. Yes. It's somewhere in the vast ocean. Yes. Pie pieces are going to come up here and there we're never going to find it there's no there's no i i think it just crashed i think the airline to cover their ass is creating all this like oh no something else happened so that they don't have to say like no

our plane fucked up and crashed yeah the main fucking dork guy is like this. His whole first theory is that the pilot wanted to kill everybody. Yeah. That's not true. The wife of this pilot already like lost her husband. And now you're creating this dialogue that he was like a mass murder. Like, fuck dude,

like shit on a grave already. Like if that's true, then yeah, it should be exposed but like hearsay and circumstance and libel they should sue that guy anyways don't fucking watch mh370 that's terrible i have another not favorite thing you can skip out on this one really bummed me because i was really really excited and I was a fan of the original one. But History of the World Part 2.

The original one came out in like the early 80s. Mel Brooks is so great and it's so iconic. And so they did it again and it's basically if you don't know what the History of the World is, it's basically like telling the stories of our past in like a very, very funny way. The cast they have for it

is insane. I mean, Mel Brooks is there and you have Ike Barinholtz, you have Wanda Sykes, you have Nick Kroll, J.B. Smooth, Ronnie Chang, Dove Cameron. Everyone is in this thing. And we watched the first two skits, like the first ones about Ulysseses S. Grant and it's like, wasn't funny at all. It wasn't good. And then we ended up watching like another one. We're like, after the first two I was like, I don't want to watch this anymore. I feel very awkward about it.

And I hate it because I like all these characters. I like all these actors. And I like the idea, but it wasn't for me. I'm sorry. I know. You know what I was thinking about the other day? You got to respect a fart. Do you?

Sometimes you got to respect a fart. What do you mean? You know, I've gotten to an age now where like if I got a fart, I can't gamble with like it being a fart. I got to go to the bathroom and, you know, make sure it's just a fart. Got it. Got to respect it. Huh. Because you can have, we've all been there.. Got it. Got to respect it. Huh.

Because you can have, we've all been there. We've all sharted a little bit. You never sharted? I don't think so. How? Is it lonely in your ivory tower of perfection? Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. Well, I imagine a lot of wives do. I like peed a little sometimes. Okay. Like laughing too hard. That's different. Yeah. Also, it happens to girls a lot. That does not happen to guys.

What's going on with your urethra down there that you can't fucking hold that shit in? Couldn't tell ya. It's worth arguing though that that's better than the alternative. Agreed. But you know what's crazy? If you think about like the engineering of the butthole is amazing. Your butthole can tell

I hate this. What's gas, what's solid, and what's liquid. What do you mean it can tell? hate this what's gas what's solid and what's liquid wouldn't mean it can tell you know what's what like if you okay so does your butthole know or does your brain know your butthole tells your brain hey listen this is a lot of liquid fucking clench that shit up until you get to a toilet because and then it'll be like, this one's gas. You can do this here. You know? And then like,

when it was like, you gotta poop. You gotta go poop now. Go to the bathroom. But that's amazing that it knows all three of those things. Like when I throw up, I don't know if it's bile

or the, you know, the chunks of food. Ew, I hate this conversation. But you know what I'm saying? Like your mouth and throat don't have the same chunks of food. Ew, I hate this conversation. But you know what I'm saying? Like your mouth and throat don't have the same type of sensibilities as your butthole. I guess it's because that doesn't happen as often. Maybe so, yeah.

Yeah, you know. But like you know exactly what's happening generally. But I will say this, as you get older, you can't trust it. You know, sometimes you can and sometimes you can't. I don't think I'm there yet it's coming so Jamie Lee Curtis

was doing an interview and I've never agreed with something more than this statement from Jamie Lee Curtis and as a suggestion you two do a matinee Coldplay do a matinee. Coldplay. Do a matinee. What about a 12 noon concert

Coldplay? What about it? Bruce Springsteen. Do a fucking matinee. You're old. Why wouldn't you let me come see you, Bruce Springsteen, in your glory days. Pun intended. Pun intended. Nice. And do it at noon or 1 o'clock, 2 o'clock. 2 o'clock matinee, theater in New York, 2 o'clock. I will come and hear your five-hour concert, Bruce, at 2 o'clock, and I'm going to be home and in bed by 7.30. I have never agreed with anybody more than I agree with Jamie Lee Curtis right there that's so fucking true yeah and I tell you what this is why music festivals are great because you do that you'll be like okay I'm gonna see like the noon show the 2 30 show the four o'clock show

and then you can be like I don't give a fuck about Diplo at closing things out so I'm gonna go fucking hit the sack early uh-huh but i agree yeah and this is what i think the pandemic did to us we got so used to not going out anymore that we don't want to go out anymore late that's true and we started to see the benefits of being like it's so nice to get in bed at nine o'clock and like get a good seven hours i'll get eight and a half. Do you? Oh, fucking Jamie Lee Curtis, dude. What a mensch. She's so funny. Dude. Bruce Springsteen, you're old.

Fucking so good, dude. That's too good. Back to the Oscars. Hugh Grant had like one of the most cringey interviews ever. But I'm not sure. That it's his fault.

Yeah. I know there's a lot of people. When I clicked on the comments for this, everybody was defending him. Yeah. So I know this is going to sound like me being bitter, but this is why you have journalists do journalist stuff. Yeah. And I get having star appeal up there and it's great. And let me tell you what, Vanessa Hudgens is a close friend of ours and I thought she fucking killed.

I think Ashley killed too, but like you didn't go to school for this. Right. And so I think that there's a little bit of that. Hughes seems like a fucking cunt in this, a little bit. But there's a part of me that's like, if I was doing that, I would have been able to- Navigate it better. Yeah, and notice that he wasn't into this.

Feeling it, yeah. And then you go to like those blasé questions of like, what movies did you love this year? Or just end the interview. If you can tell he doesn't want to be there, wrap it up. What are you most excited to see tonight? To see? Yeah, well, I know that you probably watched

a few of the movies. Are you excited to see anybody win? yeah well i know that you probably watched a few of the movies are you excited to see anybody win do you have your hopes up for anyone um first off that's a bad question horrible question who you excited to see what i know are you excited to see rihanna or lady gaga because that's what you're seeing right but not everyone knows exactly what's on the playbill no so it's like are you excited to see that? Like, are you excited to see Jimmy host? Like, this is his third time. What do you think? That's an easy question.

And so then you're putting him on the spot of like, I don't fucking know what I'm going to see. So I get his reaction here. I hate when people do that to me. Yeah. Not, no one in particular. Okay, well, what are you wearing tonight then? Guys don't know that.

Especially old guys like this, who's had this suit forever or this tux forever i feel like you gotta know who you can ask that question to and who not yes like somebody asked the rock that and he knew exactly what the fuck he was wearing but that's it of course like because the rock has a stylist who's like hey this was gifted from tom ford so fucking say it yeah you gotta know who your audience a little bit there but i will say like hugh should know what his tailor's name is. Just my suit.

Your suit? Who made your suit? You didn't make it. I can't remember my tailor. That's okay. Shout out to... So, a little bit of a dick move. You should know who your tailor is.

Yeah. And you should give him a shout out. You got to know that Hugh Grant's not wearing Gucci. Actually, in the 90s he was probably. I mean, yeah, he might have been. Yeah. But... All right.

That's a fine question. I'm not, like, it's funny because it's kind of a sexist thing of, like, it's a question that gets asked to women all the time, but not to men, and then you ask it to a man and he doesn't know, and that's why you don't ask it to a man. So it's not sexist anymore. It's because women know that shit and guys don't. So I think

that's fine. It gets worse. The Taylor. So tell me, what does it feel like to be in glass onion it was such an amazing film i really loved it i love a thriller how fun is it to shoot something like that well i'm barely in it i'm in it for about three seconds yeah but still you showed up and you had fun right uh almost okay all right okay well thank you so much it was nice to talk to you yeah all right back to you guys yikes yeah so that was he didn't answer that well no he didn't that's on him hugh if you're going to walk a red carpet and do interviews you better be ready to fucking answer questions about

the movie that you're in that you just did that you're the reason that's why you're here buddy yeah yeah yeah yeah so i give her some grace on that because like i think at that point in the interview he was like what the fuck am i doing get me out of here she should have worded it more like like what how did it feel to be part of the movie the glass onion like because he did just what make a cameo or whatever the fuck yeah it was quick so like instead of asking like oh what was it like to film this movie well you know yeah he's in it so quite like ask what it was like to be part of that franchise or something like that. It was just like not worded right. And also like, isn't it nice to know that like so many people love that film?

Right. Because then they're stroking his ego of like, people love me and shit. But yeah, it was cringe. It was bad. And also like, if I'm his PR guy, I'm like, hey guy, let's be better about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because now you look like an asshole. Yeah.

But here's my last thing. Tape motherfucking delay. Yeah. Why do you give a shit if you're 20 minutes behind? I've never understood this, like, live to tape thing because that shit happens. Uh-huh. It's such a wild card, especially if you're throwing like actors in roles that they are not used to, you know?

If it's Jason Kennedy and it's Brad Goreski and the guys that do that shit every fucking year, then great, go live. But if you've got actors who are, and that's not their job. And also if I'm an actor, I'm saying, hey, guess what i want i want to tell a prompter and i want to be fucking tape delayed because i want to go in my ear right

after that interview and say cut that fucking thing immediately yeah um ashley is not an actor though right or actress she's just she a model yeah okay more so than yeah people watch the oscars and they're like, it's so glamorous or whatever. And so like as someone who's gotten to go to these things, the show and like even like the pre-show, it's not where it's at. And like that's not the show. And it's unfortunately, I understand why it's, it can't be what I want it to be. But the show is the after party.

Yeah. When you see huge movie stars just absolutely hammer timed drinking an in and out burger on the steps yep and you're just like oh my god captain america is crushing a double double right now yeah um you know tizzle and i brought sorry we're stoned back oh yeah i saw that should probably give that a plug yeah we took like over a year off she was just really stoned needed a break she well she also went through a divorce. The stoners, we like to call our little listeners. They've been like, you know, when does the show come back? When does the show come back? I think this was the right time because Tish has been through a lot. You know, a lot of changes have happened in the past year and she's

finally, I think, ready to spill some tea, you know, and to speak some truth on what's been going on in the Cyrus fam that's, you know, mostly centered around her. So, um, yeah, I think it's going to get juicy. Good. I think it's going to get juicy. So if you guys, um, listened to our podcast, it's called, sorry, we're stoned. If you guys were listeners before, um, we just launched it's season three. We just launched season three last week and, uh, we'll be doing weekly episodes for the rest of the year. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Go listen to that. Maybe we'll have Wellesley on as a guest. I'll probably be invited and then

the deets will be lost. Yeah. And forgotten about. Probably. I don't know. My mom loves you. That's true. Every time we were watching the Oscars last night. Why doesn't Wales host this? Yeah. They need Wales. He's the best. I agree. He's the new Ron Seacrest. I don't

know about that. That's what she says. Well, the new ron c crest oh i don't know about that that's what she says well okay so speaking of parties i wasn't invited to miley's new record is out have you listened and the summer vacation no i have not wales why would i listen to it this is why you weren't invited the reason why i'm not listening to it because i wasn't invited i know you would have listened anyway i've listened to flowers i'm surprised you didn't listen to the one brandy carlisle's on you like her i do love brandy carlisle yeah all right well i'm gonna need you to do some homework okay i'll listen to the record because i really i respect your musical opinion i would actually like to know what your favorites are it just came out didn't it it just came out last week and friday right yes yes i have been literally

listening to this album for a year. Yeah. You know, whenever she gets her demos straight, she'll always like, we have this little like, it's like a Dropbox type situation where, you know, you gotta have like password and shit, but like where like the team can listen and my mom and everybody and I got to be part of that or whatever. So I've been like listening to demos and listening to new versions and everything and watch them narrow it down from, you know, the 30 songs she started with to the 11 or so that made the album. But,

um, my favorite song is actually not on here. It will be coming out later. Okay. So we'll save that. But, but I think my second favorite song on here is jaded. Okay.

It's so good. I think it's also the second most streamed song on the album so far. Oh, wow. Well, it's the second song on the album. It is. Two might be River. It might be the third.

River's the new single. You're lonely now and I hate it I'm sorry that you're jaded So who's that one about? Oh, I couldn't guess. Couldn't guess. It's so good. It's really, I think it's, besides the one that one about? Oh, I couldn't guess. Couldn't guess. It's so good. It's really, I think it's, besides the one that's not out yet, it's probably my favorite. Other standouts for me, specifically, I love Violet Chemistry,

which Mike Will is one of the producers on. I love Mike. That one's one of my faves. Muddy Feet is so good. It features Sia. It's another favorite. And then the new single is called River and it is super good. So we can go out on River if you want to have a little outro in the video.

Stay me. All right. Well, it was good to see you. Great to see you. Even though I didn't get invited to the party, that's fine. I want to remember this forever. I'm like an elephant. What does that mean?

Elephants have the best memories of all the animals. Oh, that's cute. You didn't know that? I didn't. Well, I'm an elephant. Now you do. Never forget it. When are you coming back?

I'll be back, I guess, in a month, near the end of April. Okay. For some Coachella and stagecoach shit. Coachella's coming up? Yeah! I've never been to Coachella. Maybe this is the year. Maybe it's the year. Iella's coming up? Yeah. I've never been to Coachella. Maybe this is the year. Maybe it's the year.

I don't know who's playing. I don't either. But, I mean, Coachella's fine. I don't know that you're going to like it very much. Give me enough mushrooms. I like anything.

You might like stagecoach better. Depends on who's playing. No. No? It's, no. Okay. I'm also not a country guy.

Well, I know, but there's usually some decent, like, Sergil Simpsons or somebody in there, you know? Yeah, but there should be that at Coachella, I feel like. But there's not. There's not? I don't think. We should look up the lineup. I know.

See. All right, well. So I'll be back soon. Good. Yeah. Anything you're looking forward to? I'm looking forward to playing in New York next week. That should be fun.

And then, I mean, I know it's a couple months out, but my birthday is kind of coming up in May here. So we're trying to plan like a trip. Wait, no, it's not. That's not close. But it's close enough to like if you're going to do a trip, like a birthday trip, you got to start planning. So I've been like toying with some ideas on a birthday trip.

Oh. Yeah. I would say I'd invite you, but I probably't you won't yeah all right why have tears you have to deal with all right we're out of here uh be good love y'all later I know who that one's not about. That's funny. This podcast has been brought to you by podcast nation