Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Tongue-Tied and Highly Caffeinated

Episode Date: January 26, 2022

Is anyone still on Facebook? If you are, please tell us why; Wells is on it for the guys who build pools. Your hosts have returned from their horse showing and golf playing, and Brandi is coming in hot, working off of a good 600mg of caffeine. Wells gives us a quick recap of his golf event and Brandi opens up about her terrible experience on the great American interstate. Conclusion: we should have to retake driving tests every 10 years, at least. You also get a serious Bach recap, and your hosts inquire as to the hoodie-chic fashion we have got going on this season. Plus, they chat recurring dreams, tongues, football, and, wait for it, music!! If you sue us for saying we love your music, you are a trash human. K, bye!!  Don’t forget to rate, review, and follow Your Favorite Podcast! Plus, keep up with us between episodes on our Instagram page, @yftpodcast.   Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers:  Green Chef — Go to GreenChef.com/yft130 and use code yft130 to get $130 off, plus free shipping  Beam — Go to beamorganics.com/YFT and use code YFT at checkout to get $20 off $75 or more  SKYN — Shop SKYN.com now and get free shipping on orders over $30 in the contiguous US or explore SKYN on Amazon now 

All right, guys, a lot has changed over the last years. And if you're growing your e-commerce business, yeah, you can relate. Whether you're looking for better efficiency during the hectic holiday season or your business has outgrown your old shipping solutions, you need ShipStation to help you scale your business. ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiency with a robust all-in-one fulfillment system that integrates with over 180 of the most popular e-commerce platforms, marketplaces, and carriers. Listen, the holiday season is right around the corner. Odds are that you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce. If you're shipping, you got to do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches.

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print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code your favorite thing to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code your favorite thing. Do it. All right. What is this? YFT 189. A lot of episodes. A lot of episodes. Is anyone still on Facebook other than like your friends from high school? I open it up when I get into my office, but I'm like looking through it and I'm like, wow, it's just people from high school and college now, you know? That's all it is. It's just like friends from college that

never transferred over into the Instagram age. They're like stuck. Then again, I guess I'm on it as well. So I'm one of those people. I'm just really there for like the woodworking videos that somehow pop up. And those two guys that like build crazy pools with like two sticks in the Amazon. That's basically all I'm on Facebook for. Well, that and pimple popping videos. All right, let's do this thing. Color up. Hello. What's up? I'm using the microphone

that you like. I do like that microphone better than the last. Really? Yeah, it's got better compression, bruh. Very interesting. How you doing? Not too bad. I'm not going to lie to you. I've had 600 milligrams of caffeine today. So. Wow. How do you even know that? What do you have like a beaker? What are you, a scientist? I know that there's a, I'm pretty sure there's approximately like 80 milligrams of caffeine in a cup of coffee and I've had two. Okay. And then I'm pretty sure they say, I'm pretty sure they say there's either like 150 or 200 milligrams. No, I think it's a hundred milligrams per shot of espresso. And I had a latte with two shots. So that's 200 milligrams. So that's almost 400. And then I had a Celsius that's 200 milligrams. So we're almost about 600.

Is that a lot or is that not enough? I don't really know. Pretty sure that's enough to make my heart explode, but here we are. All right, good. Well, then you'll be high energy for the episode. That was the whole point. I feel like there's a lot more ribbons

from horse shows behind you right now than there normally are. No, they're about the same. Are you trying to flex on me right now? No, they're about the same. Are you trying to flex on me right now? No, they're always there. Those are all old ribbons. Are you done horse showing for a walk? I feel like

you've been on a circuit. I have been on a circuit. The winter circuit, if you will. I have one more at the end of February and then I take a little break probably until, I don don't know I might do one in the spring but listen I'm sick of this non-international traveling that COVID has you know dealt upon me I miss my international travel and I am determined to go see some places this

summer yeah fair enough yeah so I'm gonna take a little break from the horses, I think, in the summer and try to hit Europe, maybe Greece, maybe do a birthday trip, see some places, you know? All right. Well, you're back from the horse showing circuit. I'm back from my golf tournament. Yeah, you aren't too far from me. Why the fuck is it so cold in Florida?

Dude, I don't know. It was on Sunday, the final too far from me. Why the fuck is it so cold in Florida? Dude, I don't know. Like, it was on Sunday, the final day of the tournament. I had to go off at like 8.09. Oh, that's what time my class was. It was 39 degrees. 37 degrees where I was. Uh-huh. Okay, first of all, you're not supposed to do anything in 37 degrees.

You just can't do it unless it's skiing, you know? Or like figure skating. Other than that, you're not trying to do anything in 37 degrees. Can't do it unless it's skiing, you know? Or like figure skating. Other than that, you can't do dick. If you're doing anything with your hands, give me a break. Because you can't feel them. Hello, I have to hold the reins with my hands. It's dangerous. The thing about, I don't know about golf, but like I can't go in there bundled up.

You have to wear the attire, right? Like the show jacket and the paper thin white breeches. Yeah. Like you can't bundle up to go Like the show jacket and the paper-thin white breeches. Yeah. Like you can't bundle up to go in the show ring. I was fucking freezing. Suffice to say, I don't know how your Sunday went, but my Sunday went very badly. Mine was tough, yeah. Yeah. I just, I just, I kind of gave up. I'm not going to lie. I'm not proud to say it, but your boy kind of gave up. And that's what happens. It's not a cold-weather

boy, you know? I'm a warm-weather guy. I did feel like you and Ben got quite a bit of press on their Instagram, though. Well, to be fair, there are real celebrities there, right? There are, like, real athletes. World Series winners and, you know, quarterbacks

and real, actual celebrities. And then there are people like Ben and I, who are, quarterbacks, and real actual celebrities. And then there are people like Ben and I, who are not real celebrities, but we do have a big following. So we help in other ways, you know? We got there for like a players meeting, and they were like, hey, so we'd really love it if you guys would all like post, and like do stuff, and use the hashtag.

And I think for all these like, you know, 55 year old pitchers in baseball, they're like, I don't know what the fuck is, what they're talking about, you know? But for Ben and I were like, okay, you know, we know what to do. Yeah, we got it. So I think once they figured out that we were savvy with our social media, they were like,

just go to them for any, you know, just make sure they do the talking. But it was so much fun. first day when i'm gonna do a quick recap okay okay so i was playing in an lpga pro-am event pro-am events is like it happens in the pga as well where they have like celebrities play alongside the pros okay but this one in particular it was interesting because i don't have like a pro teammate. It was just all the celebrities were against all the other celebrities and all the pros. You can see all the other pros.

Okay. Oh, okay. So I went out there first day, very nervous because there's cameras and, you know, photographers and gallery and everyone, you know, up next on the tee from Monterey, California from from The Bachelorette, it's Wells Adams. And you're just like, oh my God, I'm going to kill somebody. But I went out the first day, shot 78, left a lot of stuff out there on the course, but I was tied for eighth after the first day. How many are there total?

How many days? You said you were tied for eighth? Yeah, there was like 59, 60. That's a lot. Yeah. And also, there are much better players than me. There's probably 20 to 25 players that have higher handicaps than I do, or lower handicaps than I do. So I went out there, played great.

Second day, not so much. Came back, was tied for 17th. Still top 20, still feeling it. Third day, played great in freaking sideways sideways wind and it was cold and everything and i went out there and i was focused to play great i think i moved up a little bit like tied for 16th i don't know how everyone else did well and the last day happened we lost a lot of strokes there not gonna lie ended up falling down to, I believe I was solo 22nd. But for my first time out there, not bad. Could do better? Yeah. All right. Was I terrified? The whole time. Did I have a lot of fun? Yes. Can't wait to do it again next year.

And I'll tell you what, a lot of YFTs were out there and a lot of Batch fans were out there. Wow. How'd Ben do? Not as good as me, but he, but here's the thing. He blew his knee out. So he hasn't been able to play for the past like six months. So he went in there like having not played golf for a very long time. And I think he thought he would do better. Dude, if you don't do something for six months,

I mean, I was amazed that he was able to get around the course with his knee. So he didn't do as great, but he has done well in the past. So we had a lot of fun and it was great. And Deanie. I saw his parents were there. I freaking love them. Dude, Dave and Amy.

Dave and Amy. That's the best. We're adopted by them now, my brother and I, because we went out to dinner with them every single night. I hate to break it to you, but they adopt everyone. Yeah, I know. I think everyone feels close to them. They make everyone feel like they're the most special person on the planet.

Yeah. They are very, very wonderful people. Anyways, it was so much fun and had a blast thanks to the LPGA and Hilton Grand Vacations and all that kind of stuff. I will say this. No one believes in the pandemic in Florida. Like no one wears masks. Like we went into a gas station and like not even the attendant was wearing a mask.

And I was wearing a mask in there, of course. And I feel like everyone looked at me like I was a crazy person. You know? Yeah. They're like, man, where are you from? New York City. New York City. Remember that? That was like a salsa commercial back in the day. Made a few birdies, had some fun. Oh, so this is my favorite part of the whole thing. So the 18th hole is tough because Cause it's kind of like, there's like grandstands,

lot of people there. There's a DJ playing music when you walk up to the green and it's like, from season 12 of the Bachelorette and everyone's favorite bartender, it's Wells Adams. Everyone's like, yay. And you're like, hi, what's going on? So every day I'd gotten to that tee and I was just so nervous i was like oh my god

everyone's gonna laugh at you and i double bogeyed it every single day and so finally in the last day i was playing bogey again bogeys one over double bogeys two over so is that bad really bad really really bad like the actually no the first day i didn't have a double bogey the first day i bogeyed it and the second day i double bogeyed it the third day i double bogeyed it and i didn't have a double bogey. The first day I bogeyed it. Then the second day I double bogeyed it. The third day I double bogeyed it. And I didn't have a whole lot of double bogeys. But it always happened on the 18th because I was nervous. And the last day my brother who was counting for me, he was like, we're not double bogeying 18. We're not doing it the last day.

So finally I hit a drive that was in the fairway. The second one I was too much of a wuss. I mean, I tried to go for the green, but I was scared of the water. So I landed a little bit right and I I chipped up to about eight feet. Everyone's there. I was like, this might be my last opportunity to do something like this. Finally, right before my putt, I look over to the crowd, and I was like, come on, let's go, like that. Everyone started screaming, like, okay, go.

My brother, who's caddying for me, goes, you fucking idiot. What are you doing? I was like, what? He was like, you can't do that before you putt, because if you don't make for me, goes, you fucking idiot. What are you doing? And I was like, what? He was like, you can't do that before you putt. Because if you don't make it, you look like a fucking idiot. And I was like, oh, you're right, man. So I step over the putt. And he's like, oh, shit, I don't know.

Anyways, I ended up making the putt. And I was like, you, you, you, you, you. And I was like, you're like pointing at the crowd like I had just fucking won the Masters. But I was 22nd place. Isn't golf like a quiet sport? Yeah, I know, but not this one. Anyways, great times. Great times had in Orlando.

You want to start the show? Oh, yeah, we should do that. Yeah, so me or you? I think maybe you. Bros and hoes, you're listening to your favorite thing podcast with Wells and Brandy. All right, quick PSA for those of you out there who rent if you haven't heard of built you're about to thank me earning points on rent is now a reality when you pay

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you need ShipStation to help you scale your business. ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiency with a robust all-in-one fulfillment system that integrates with over 180 of the most popular e-commerce platforms, marketplaces, and carriers. Listen, the holiday season is right around the corner. Odds are that you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce. If you're shipping, you got to do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 89% off UPS, DHL, Express, and USPS rates. What, you don't want to save money?

Come on. Deliver a better customer experience with the industry-leading features that help you find the best carrier rates, print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today.

Go to ShipStation.com and use code YOURFAVORITETHING to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code YOURFAVORITETHING. Do it. So, The Bachelor. Okay, wait.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. Before we do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been in a car for 10 hours today, and I have a few things to say. Oh, okay. I know America as a whole, like, as a country. We're not that smart, like, right? Like it's pretty well known, but honestly, I really start to lose faith that any Americans have any sort of like decent IQ at all when I'm driving

the interstates. Totally. Everyone's against self-driving cars. Not me. I think we all need to go that route. Okay. Let me tell you. Okay, here's my first problem. Okay, Georgia. Let me give Georgia a quick shout out. They've been doing what I've been saying for years. I don't know when this happened because I don't recall the last time I drove through Georgia this being a thing. So they have a three-lane freeway and trucks, semi-trucks, cannot drive in the far left lane. It's illegal.

There's signs. Start trucks with six or more axles or whatever the fuck the sign says. You can't drive in the far left lane. It's illegal. There's signs. Start trucks with six or more axles or whatever the fuck the sign says. You can't drive in this far left lane. Okay, genius. Because that is what causes all of the fucking traffic when those stupid semis see you coming up, going 82, and they decide to whip in front of you going 45 for no reason at all. They shouldn't be allowed to do that. Georgia, you got it right.

No semis in the far left lane. The minute you cross over into stupid Tennessee, trucks everywhere, trucks in all three lanes, trucks going 40 miles an hour, people weaving in and out trying to get around the trucks. Can't do it. Causes all this traffic, causes all these pileups. I just sit for like 45 minutes in one spot because all these semis were in all three fucking lanes all the way across the interstate. Tennessee, why can't we get a lane where no semis are allowed? It would be so much better, so much less traffic, so much less road rage, so many more happy Americans. That's all I have to say about that.

Also, let me just, guys, if you're driving and you're in the far left lane, okay, this is like lesson one. The far left lane is the fast lane, okay? The right lane is for slower drivers. If you are in the far left lane and you're going 70, I understand the speed limit's 70, but if you're going to 70

and you see someone come up behind you clearly going faster than you, clearly wanting to continue going faster than you, and you have room to move over to the right and you don't, you're a fucking piece of shit, asshole. And I came across so many of them on my 10-hour drive today, have room to move over to the right and you don't you're a fucking piece of shit asshole and i came across so many of them on my 10 hour drive today i could explode wow like how do you not move over how do you not move over like listen if someone if there's a big truck in the right lane totally

like that's one thing it still pisses me off that you're going slow in the left lane but whatever there's a car there but if it's open and you make me going 82 on my cruise control and you make me cancel my cruise control to go around your slow ass in the other right lane because you can't move over, I'm pissed. Yeah, I feel you. I like when people don't use their turn signals when you're waiting to go right out of a parking lot or something and someone's coming up and then they turn right.

And you're like, motherfucker, dude. If you had turned your turn signal on i could have gone because i would have trusted that you'd have done it but you didn't do it yeah dude we need self-driving cars immediately i mean tesla's got some i know here's the thing i like driving cars though so i'm gonna keep my license but i'm also a good driver well how do we not have to retake a driving test i had to when I moved out here. Oh, really? And I got to tell you. Tough?

I was, well, not really, but I was nervous because I was like, first of all, I'd been at the DMV forever because I had my Tennessee driver's license. And finally I was like, I need to have my California driver's license for voting reasons. And like, I just think it's like the law.

So I got up there and they're like, you have to retake the test. And I was like, what? And I'd been there for like an hour and a half waiting in the DMV line because sucks a hard. So then I had to go like sit down and get ready for the test. And of course, and I just like started looking up the, you know, what the questions were and I was able to pass it just fine, but still scary.

I think we should have to retake it every like minimum 10 years. Well, I don't even know if you need so much the written test. Right. No, no, no. The driving part. Yeah. Like just show that you can still drive around. Yeah.

Because there's people that are like 85 out there that can't see that are driving. Yeah. But they know, you know, like you need to turn your wheels towards the right if you're parking downhill, you know, on the right hand side. You know, like they know the rules of the thing, but that doesn't mean they can drive, you know? I know. Serious concern. Yeah, old people.

Mm-mm. Mm-mm. All right, and rant. But I'm just, like, nothing makes me more mad than having to turn off cruise control. Yeah. You know? You're a cruise control baby, you know?

Having to hit that brake and cancel out cruise control just, mm, nothing makes me more mad. They got some of those cars with like smart cruise control that'll like see the car in front of you and like slow down and stuff. My Jeep has that, but I have trust issues and I don't use it. Yeah. Smart. It scares me.

Smart. That's not past trauma or anything rearing its ugly head. No, no, no. No. Nah. Speaking of past trauma rearing its ugly head, this episode of The Bachelor was very, very traumatic for a lot of people. Yeah, it was a doozy.

They brought Caitlyn in to do like the Nick Viall bit. Totally. Which is like, do your feelings. I thought the one Nick did was a bit more intense than this one. Well, the one Nick did was he was like, just so you know, a bunch of your ex-girlfriends have DM'd me telling me how terrible you guys are. That's right. So do you have anything you want to say? So you just

sort of lied, whereas Caitlin was like, you know, what are some of your insecurities? Which you know, I mean, it was cool that everyone got to kind of show what their insecurities are, but everyone has the same insecurities, if I'm being honest, you know? Yeah, for sure.

But that's not where we're going to start. We're going to start with Cassidy because why does she have to go home? I don't want her to go. I don't understand how, first of all, how you tell one of the other girls in the house your secrets and don't think that they're that's gonna get out like and it she didn't like even when when Clayton was like I have to talk to you

that's not even what she thought he was gonna talk about but like she how do you not know like oh I told this other girl she's gonna tell on me yeah like hello you can't tell these girls that shit. No. And you can't tell other girls that, and you can't say that with producers around because producers are just looking for things like this. Like, have you never seen the show? Like, what is wrong with you? Aside from the fact that you've got a fuck buddy on the side. Like, whatever.

Who cares? Like, that's the first time that's ever happened on this show. But to be so dense, to think that it was an okay idea to tell anybody, I mean, I have got no sympathy for you, sister. No, zero. I did love that when, she lies about it and lies about it and lies about it. And finally she and finally she's like so i've been facetiming so everything that you said yeah yeah so everything you actually yeah everything they said was is true and i've been facetiming with this guy and you know if i go home and i even ran whenever uh and then i love it she starts crying like crazy and she's like i just didn't

think i was going home so what she's upset about is not... Is going home. Yeah, is not losing Clayton. It's going home and like not being on the show. Like... Totally. All the things she said. She said everything wrong. Which is why I love her so much that I want her to stay there so badly. Well, she'll come to Paradise, obvi. I hope

so. She's like prime Paradise material. Yeah. So good. The other thing that I liked. So he likes Eliza, it seems, right? I like Eliza. Yeah. After the AA meeting that they go to talk about their feelings.

He's talking to Eliza. And, you know, they're like looking in the mirror. And they're like, man, we're a power couple. You know? Which I'm like, like, OK, whatever. And then Clayton goes, we have impeccable taste. And once again, I'm like, Clayton, bro, you're wearing a hoodie. A hoodie.

Underneath a fucking blazer. Like, I don't know. That's not it. Like, it's not it. I don't know who you think you are. Also, how hot are you? Because there's a bunch of I know i've been there there's a bunch of lights in there you got you got a hoodie and a blazer on bro and also like like i just

is this like the athlete like maybe that's something i don't know about like athletes are just like they just always wear hoodies i don't know know. I think so. I think they do. Yeah. And the fact that he's like, man, our style is impeccable. What? No, her style. Yeah, she looked great. Yours? No. If I was one of the girls, I'd be like, sweetie,

we gotta get you out of the hoodie. I don't know what's happening here. Like, are you worried? Is it gonna rain later? Like, do you know something we don't know about the weather? So then Sarah goes on this date that Becca's hosting. And I'll be the first to admit that I defend the show a lot more than most people. Because let's be fair, they still pay a lot of my bills. That was a stupid date. And I didn't.

It was just like, I don't. But you guys got to get kind of naked, I guess, but not really. I don't understand. Why are we taking their clothes off and running around? No, I thought it was weird. Honestly, like, is that even legal? I mean, sure. They weren't really naked, but like.

No. It was just like, what? And then the singing was just like, oh, cringeworthy. I can't do it. I thought Sarah's rap was pretty good. Her rap was great. But like Clayton just being like grabbing the mic and being like, making this up as I go along.

I was like, oh, God, what is this? It's like drunk karaoke, you know? Yeah, it was bad. Thank you. I really like Sarah, though. Seems sweet. Got a good story, you know? Then they have the Baywatch date, which is like, today it's about people getting kind of naked.

Like, that's the episode we're doing. Got it. First of all, no one on that date was alive when that Baywatch was on the air, by the way. No one knew that actress's name. They had to feed that to them for sure. For sure, bro. And they couldn't even get Yasmeen Bleeth or Pamela Anderson. They had to get like some seventh, eighth person on the call sheet in Baywatch, you know?

Like, where's David Hasselhoff? He couldn't be Hasselhoff. Can't Hasselhoff. I love when she was like explaining CPR to people. And I wanted to be like, lady, lady, lady, lady. You're not a real lifeguard. Okay. She probably doesn't even know CPR.

No, no, no, no. Someone taught you how to look like you know how to do CPR when you were filming in the mid nineties. But you don't know what you're talking about right now. No, I thought that date was so boring.

Also his, his like undershirt tan, real bad guys. Real bad. Can we undershirt tan, real bad, guys. Real bad. Can we get a spray tan in here? I know. What's happening? Where's the spray tan budget?

Also, was that sunscreen even real? Because he got so sunburned on that date. I don't know. I don't know. Which brings us to Sinead. Oh, freaking Sinead. I love her so much. I'm sure you do i just like can't imagine i can't imagine

clayton like watching this right now that it's live and like seeing all the bullshit she says off like when in her little what is it itms or whatever i mean when she goes and tells him that she's being bullied by everybody and then goes into interview and is like, I was so good. I even started to cry. She believed me. Oh, I know. It's like, oh, my God. She's evil.

She's pure evil. And I love her. If she says, like, this is a competition one more time, I'm going to freak. Like, it's not. I mean, it is freak like it's not i mean it is but it's not like that's not like go sign up for uh like survivor or something yeah you want to be on a competition show well here's the thing she's right and she's wrong right because well there's only one person at the end of this like you should i mean i know so she's right but you're not competing like you're

not really competing directly against the other girls though for shit like i don't i don't know that's what i'm saying she's right and she's wrong her being like it's so annoying that they're all being like so happy for one another you know it's like okay you're not wrong about that because you want it to be you but it's also showing that like you are maybe a sociopath like you have no empathy at all like you don't care about anyone but yourself, which is great. I love it. But she's not wrong when it comes to what she's saying. I know I'm not a therapist, but now I've done the show so many times. It's always the same thing. It's always people who are insecure projecting their own fears about themselves onto other people. It's

always the same bit. Yeah. Everyone's mean. Everyone's a bully. Wait, hold on. In your ITM, you just said all these girls are stupid. They're all pretending to be friends with each other. I hate them all. I want Elizabeth to go home. Okay, that's you being mean. That's you. You're talking about yourself here. I do feel bad for Elizabeth because it's like she picked her at random to make the enemy. You know what I mean?

And I do feel bad for her. I do feel like she got too emotional when Clayton brought it up. I wish she would have just kept it together a little bit more, but at the same time, you kind of can't blame her because the girl is just relentlessly making her the enemy for no reason. Yeah.

It's like have you ever been accused of something you didn't do and it's so frustrating because you can't convince anyone otherwise. But it makes you so upset because you're like, I didn't do that. I didn't do that. I didn't do that. And then when you start getting crazy, people are like, maybe you did do it. I didn't do that. I didn't do that. And then when you start getting crazy, people are like, maybe he did do it. I don't know. I know. It's terrible. Yes. My favorite line of the entire episode

was, no one's bullying you. It's just no one likes you. There's a difference. I know. One of the girls said that. I know. And I wrote it down being like, it's so funny. And is that bullying? I don't know. I think that's a word that we just throw out a little too easy these days. Yeah.

People aren't being mean to her. They're just not being overly nice to her. You know what I mean? They're just not like being fake friends. Yeah. They're just kind of ignoring her because nobody likes her. And I think that's fair. Yeah.

Anyways, I just hope she sticks around for a while. I don't know. The problem is that all those girls are going to come to Elizabeth's defense, you know? Yeah. Anyways, I just hope she sticks around for a while. I don't know. The problem is that all those girls are going to come to Elizabeth's defense, you know? Yeah. And so it's going to be over. But I'm hoping that they figure out a way because it looks like they're teeing up for a two-on-one. But that wasn't an option for the three dates this week. Well, I feel like it's so early for a two-on-one.

I know, but we got a good feud going, you know? We do. We do. Let's push the rose ceremony back and get a good, let's get a helicopter and have a good old-fashioned two-on-one. It's been too long since we've stranded somebody on like a hillside with a helicopter. Poor Olivia.

Olivia got stranded. I think Ashley I. Kennedy got stranded. For sure. There is nothing. I mean, that's what I miss the most is just that this is what COVID's done a lot of things to hurt me this past couple of years, but not being able to use the helicopter to strand someone in a two on one is fucking up there. It's true.

Oh, God. All I know is I'm just excited for Paradise because right off the bat, we're going to get Cassidy. I mean, I'm pretty sure that Sine Because right off the bat, we're going to get Cassidy. I mean, I'm pretty sure that Shanae ain't going to be there for the whole thing. So we're getting her. Engaged girl, Sally. She's got to come down there. I was doing an interview for Us Weekly while I was doing that golf thing.

And they were like, who do you want to see down at Paradise? I was like, I want to see the engaged girl. And then you know who else I want to see? I want to see the engaged guy. We didn't get to meet him, but I want to hear about him. I realize he hasn't been on any show, but you know what? He was brought into this whole thing, and I got to know who this fucker is. I got to meet this guy.

You know? Oh my gosh. I need Elizabeth. I need Elizabeth down there. I need Elizabeth to be in a relationship with somebody, and then I need freaking Sinead to come down and steal him for a date. God, I mean, the possibilities are already beautiful in episode three or something, you know?

That's all I got, I guess, on Batch. All right, well, good stuff so far. Loving it. You got some favorite things, bro? Bro, no offense, Bachelor, but my favorite reality trash TV is back. Have you started season three of Too Hot to Handle? Oh, no.

Oh, it's so good. It's on Netflix. Netflix, yeah. So what's good about it? It's just so bad it's good, you know? Is Too Hot to Handle the one that's like- They can't kiss. They can't have sex.

They can't touch. Yeah, and there's like an Alexa. There's like prize money and they deduct. Yeah, there's an Alexa that's like watching the entire time. Yes. What's your name? deduct. Yeah, there's an Alexa that's like watching the entire time. Yes. What's your name? Lana. Lana, yay.

Lana. And it's just like everyone's beautiful, gorgeous, of course, but it's like all these girls with like huge tits and huge lips and glammed up 24-7, and they're dumber than a box of rocks, and I love it so much. Yeah. But you know what's funny? My favorite couple so far, of course like i'm such a

sucker for like the real deal it's beau and i can't remember the guy's name he i can barely understand him he's from somewhere in the uk where he talks like so his words are so slurred like i literally can barely understand what he says and she hers is kind of like that too they're both brits and you can barely understand a word they say but they're so cute and she's like the most plastic looking girl I've ever seen and she's so sweet I'm obsessed with her all right let's start watching that I do love too hot to handle yeah there's some hotties on there this time on both sides or oh yeah they're like all there's some really pretty girl my favorite girl I think the girl I think is the prettiest is a girl from Colorado. Her name is Holly.

She's so beautiful. I always like the girls that don't wear makeup and still look stunning to me. Yeah. And that's Holly. She's so pretty. She's got jet black hair. She's just so pretty. And there's a guy on there that's very Machine Gun Kelly vibes.

He's like Pete Davidson vibes. He paints his nails. And he's completely tatted. He's super pale. He's like paint in like Pete Davidson vibes like paints his nails and he's got he's completely tatted. He's super pale. He's California boy and he's got like curly hair like fro to one side. I mean, he is a vibe

and he's kind of hot. It's good. You got to watch. All right. Speaking of Pete Davidson, man. What's he doing? I haven't heard anything. Well, he's dating Kim Kardashian

and then now Kanye West is like rapping about him and it's like, you know, saying that he's gonna kick his ass or something and i just i gotta be like i think p davidson's an evil genius he's got everyone talking about him it's true he has made zero bad moves in this crazy game of celebrity chess that yeah everyone else is playing checkers and he's playing fucking 3d chess over here with this celebrity status and it's just with this big old donkey dick i guess but i'm just impressed with everything that's happened

he bought a ferry with colin jose for some reason don't know why but can you imagine getting to the point where kanye west wants to beat you up that's tops i thought that nailing kim kardashian was tops wasn't even close wasn't even close yeah. That's like Eminem writing a rap about you. You know? As cool as it gets. You're right. Speaking of shows on Netflix. There's so many.

How come all the shows come out at once? How come all the, like, I've got six shows to watch that all just came out at the same time. I don't know, but. Why don't they just stagger it for us? I don't, I don't know, but... Why don't they just stagger it for us? I don't know. Just for months, we've had nothing to watch. Now, all of a sudden,

we've got too hot to handle new season. We've got the new season of Cheer. We've got the new season of Ozark. We've got... I'm still watching 1883. We've got The Bachelor. I got so many shows, I can't keep up. Okay, you can't complain about good shit being out,

all right? Anyways, you just mentioned it, but have you started Ozark? No, because I'm trying to finish all this other shit. Ooh, girl. I tell you what. Jason Bateman is in it again. They're never going to be able to get out of this mess.

You know? Oh, never. Marty Bird keeps on making deals that are going to like keep me stuck in this. Marty Bird. Marty Bird keeps on making deals that are going to keep me stuck in this. Marty Bird. Marty Bird and Wendy Bird keep on making bad deals with worse and worse people. Oh, you got to make a deal with the heroin dealer. Oh, you got to make a deal with the FBI.

Oh, you got to make a deal with the gangsters down in Mexico. Who's next? Eventually, Marty Bird's going to get to the final boss. It's going to be like Vladimir Putin. He's going gonna make some deal of him like get out of something and it's not gonna work out and his kids gonna be like that's dad fucking made up our deal you know but anyways yeah you got to get into it because like now ruth and marty are on the outs. And, you know, Jonah is angry that, you know, his mom had her brother killed from the last season. Dude, Wyatt's still slamming Darlene. I can't with that.

I can't either. I'm surprised Ruth isn't like, Wyatt, what are you, gross. Like, what are you doing? You know? Like, not only she is, like, 50 years older than you are, but like she's crazy person. She's terrifying. What's happening? She's not being a good big sister.

No. Anyways, Marty Bird, stop making deals. Eventually, it's going to run out of time. I do love it, though. And then the other thing that I started watching on Netflix I'm digging on is a show called Archive 81. Have you heard of it? Oh, I've heard of it. I heard that I'll never sleep again if I watch that show. Yeah. So I watched the first episode. It does seem kind of scary. It's a scary, spooky thing. So here's the tag. An archivist hired to restore a collection of tapes finds

himself reconstructing the work of a filmmaker and her investigation into a dangerous cult. Archive 81. Oh, sounds great. Yeah, it's pretty cool. So it's this guy, his name's Dan Turner. His whole thing is he takes like old VHS tapes that have been damaged

and he can fix them up and clean them, you know? They've been in like smoke damage or flood damage or whatever, fix them so he gets hired by this one guy to go save all these tapes but he has to do it up in the catskills can't move the tapes because they don't want to be ruined you're like what's going on there like up in the catskills of course like there's no internet service and like his phone doesn't work and kind of creepy. So he's there all alone in this like little compound and he's like slowly unraveling the story of what happened. And he's like somehow tied into it, I think. So yeah, it's super creepy, but it's really cool

because you have him doing it in present day and then he's watching the footage of this girl that's like filming on like an old Super 8 camcorder. So you get to watch her footage. And then of course you also get to see like the footage of her filming it's not all like grainy and you know like blair witch project archive 81 on netflix i'm only one episode in not for the faint of heart but very good is there something about like you go to like a different dimension or something i'm not there yet maybe all i know is i was told that there's like a like i sleep to like a white noise machine every night you know and i'm told that

that noise is what they listen to to like get transported to some freaky dimension and i'm like well i can't i can't associate that with the sound that puts me to sleep every night yeah that'd be crazy i mean every time we do go to sleep we do kind of like fall into a different dimension anyways if you want to get specific about it it's terrifying dream state could be like a whole different reality that we don't realize you know well i never remember my dream so mine's boring hardly ever wow interesting very rare no soul yeah i guess so i remember my dreams are pretty weird do you have any that are like always recurring? I have the one that everyone else has that like I haven't been to class all year and I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail this class and fail out of college. I get that one all.

I don't know anyone else that has that dream. Oh, it's one of the most recurring dreams for everybody. It's like that, like being naked or whatever. I don't have those either. My two, when I do have dreams, the top one always, it'll rotate between like, usually one of my animals,

but usually like one of them's missing or stolen or something. And I'm like panicked, right? Trying to find them or save them or whatever. Yeah. That's like number one. And number two is I'll have dreams occasionally usually after i've watched certain television uh where i'm being chased it's terrifying i still have the in the

weeds at a restaurant dream don't love that one what's that you know when you're in the weeds like you're like you've got 17 million things to get for different tables and you're just like in the weeds oh oh yeah yeah you were a hostess you never had a deal with that, but us waiters, you know. Oh, I waited tables a little bit. Did you? Yeah, at a pizza place. It was really fun. Oh, nice.

So I saw this on the internet and I thought it was so interesting. Did you know that your tongue doesn't rest on the bottom of your mouth? It rests on the top of your mouth. Think about it. I think I knew that. You knew that your tongue rests on the top of your mouth. It rests on the top of your mouth. Think about it. I think I knew that. You knew that your tongue rests on the top of your mouth?

Yeah. And defies gravity? Well, it's a muscle, so it's like programmed to just sit there, I guess. I know, but you would think it would sit on the bottom part. I think it would just be limp, but instead it's up. I hate that visual. Yes, I'm doing the thing with my hand. I hate it.

Okay, everyone else out there that isn't Brandy, right now, think about it, close your mouth, and realize where your tongue is sitting. And it's always- My tongue, I can just, I'm like always aware that my tongue is touching the roof of my mouth. You are? Yeah.

I'm not. That's weird. I'm not, no, you're the weird one. Anyways, I thought that was very interesting. But apparently I'm stupid. I need to go get some hoodies to wear underneath my blazers. You got a hoodie on. I know.

God. A Nike hoodie. Swap a blazer on that. I got to get to the bottom of this. I got to talk to a producer being like, are we sponsored by a hoodie brand? Like what's happening, guys? I'm not sure I've seen Clayton in a button down yet. Other than maybe the first night.

I don't know. To be honest, I don't pay that much attention. I don't either. Should we talk about football at all? Or is that just like way like above us? Well, I mean, I do want to talk about it because I mean, it was some amazing games. What do you think about this coin toss drama? What's the coin toss drama?

Everyone's like up in arms on Twitter saying that coin tosses shouldn't determine the outcome of football games. I guess I'm assuming they're talking about the chiefs and bills. Yeah. Cause it's the way it works is that over time, basically whoever wins the toss, get the ball first. And that means they could win the game first.

Yeah. So everyone's up in arms saying that, like, the Bills should have been able to answer. I agree. Right? Like, the whole rules of the overtime need to be changed, and everyone's freaking out about it, and then you got the other side being like,

well, if your defense sucks that bad, you don't deserve to win, and it's just a whole thing. Well. I don't know how I, here's my thing is, like, I get the argument that the coin toss shouldn't determine the game and i get that obviously whoever wins the coin toss it has an advantage but at the end of the day like you can't just continue to play

football until eternity like it's gotta end and a coin toss is the most objective way to end the freaking game you'd still need a coin toss no matter what to decide who gets the ball first i think yeah but if you keep letting teams answer, it could go on forever. I just think that they should have you play another quarter or have them do something crazy. Like in hockey, we have the shootout. Same with soccer, they have PKs. They should do something crazy like that,

where it's just like mark the two kickers out there and they both got to kick until someone misses one. Until someone misses. out there and they both got a kick until like someone misses one. Until someone misses. That would be kind of fun. I don't know. So how many more games do we have until Super Bowl?

So we have the AFC championship and the NFC championship. So just two more games and then the winners of those two go to the Super Bowl? Yes. So technically three more games. Right. Go sports. Go sports, three more games. Right. Yeah. Go sports. Go sports, guys.

Big sports gal. Big sports guy over here. I wear a lot of hoodies underneath blazers. See, it's how you know I'm a sports guy. You want to do some fuck you very muches? Ooh, yeah. Alright. F you very much, five stars from J. All right. F you very much, five stars from J-B-Z-E-G.

I'd like to send an F you to all the musicians who are suing the pod. I love when Wells and Brandy go through all their fave new artists and songs. I was hoping that Wells and Brandy

would also make a Spotify playlist so we can enjoy some of the new tunes, but they won't get sued thanks to the weekly entertainment. By the way, we do have a Spotify playlist so we can enjoy some of the new tunes, but they won't get sued. Thanks to the Weekly Entertainment. By the way, we do have a Spotify playlist. So go find that.

Just go to our Instagram and then the link tree has it there. And you know what? Yeah. I'm thinking we should bring it back. We haven't gotten sued now. Come on. Yeah, we could. If someone did sue us for playing 30 seconds of their song and saying it was one of our

favorites that's such a dick thing to do you know i know can you imagine being like but people people are people are crazy i know but that's such a bitch thing that's like we're saying we love it and we're telling people about it like don't you want people to hear your music no people want money people want the money yeah hey listen but here's the thing us telling about telling people about their music makes it so more people stream their music which makes them more money well i guess what we could do is just list it off and not actually play it no we gotta you gotta play it because you can't you know it doesn't make any sense if we're just like, oh yeah, the new one from Toenail. And people are like, I don't know what that sounds like. Then I try to describe all the, you know, it's kind of like indie pop. Okay. What's that? Can you sing it? No, I don't know. I'm not Clayton on that date. I can't sing

it. No, no, no, no, no. This one, one's coming at you. You want me to tell you the one that's coming at you? Sure. This is Sassy Massey, 8787. Five stars. F you very much. Listener since day one. Love the transparency and the authenticity Wells brings the show. Brandy, I guess you're too concerned with your influencer life to actually be vulnerable and authentic with your audience.

Can't even give us the details more than liars and red flags. Bye, girl, bye. I want to love you more, but I can't when I don't feel like you're authentic. People want the tea, girl, you know? So me pouring my heart out about Reinhardt and all the tragedy I went through with that clearly

means nothing to this YFTR. Not to Sassy Massey 8787. Wow, wow, wow, seven, eight, seven. Let's see. This is from Abby Pretority. Five stars. Hi guys. I listened to the episode.

Mercury is retrograding and men are liars. The morning of my interview for a big internship, as you guys always make me laugh and I needed some giggles. Long story short, I took the tick tock advice on saying I'm excited and it worked. I got the interview. Thanks. The random stories, great recommendations and TikTok advice on saying I'm excited, and it worked. I got the interview. Thanks to the random stories, great recommendations, and great advice. Such a great pod. Hey!

Oh, I meant to tell you, I tried that. Yeah. And I had a rail down in my classic, so it didn't work for me. I tried it too, and I hit a lot of balls out of bounds. But you know what? I was excited. I was excited. Okay, this one is from

AlM2, 5 Stars, Island Boys. Not sure if Brandy actually knows what the word insane means or she has some sort of insanity scale but her response to everything is that's insane and it's not even close. Find another phrase. Also, Wells, congrats on that hole

in one. You are officially an old white dude. Love you guys. That's insane. That's insane. I do say that a lot. You do. I like that one. That was good.

That was good. Five stars from Bree D3. Great name, by the way. I'd be watching crap TV without you guys. That's true. And for Mandino1234, subject line, funny stuff, five stars, love the banter, and erotic grandpa is my favorite. Always makes me laugh.

Don't stop erotic grandpa, man. Oh, man. Erotic grandpa is going to make a return one day, and it's when you're least going to expect it. You know what we could do, Brandy? Because you don't listen back to these shows, I could totally just edit in an erotic grandpa, and you would never know that it happened.

You're right. I would never know. I never make it past like 10 minutes into our pods. I'm like, yeah, I had to listen to it. Oh, my God. I love it. I just really can yeah, I had to listen to it. Oh my God. I love it. I just really can't stand the sound of my own voice. Yeah, that's insane.

You love your voice, huh? Love it. I love to listen to myself talk. Great. I'm so funny. I'm so hilarious. Great timber. Timber?

Timber? I don't know. I don't know either. Yeah, you know what? I'm going to do some music to close this out. Oh boy. I don't care, man Yeah, you know what? I'm going to do some music to close this out. Oh, boy. I don't care, man. I'm coming to LA in two weeks.

You're coming to LA? I'm coming to LA. Why are you going to LA? For the Super Bowl, duh. Can you get me tickets? No. Oh, why not? I'm not even going to the game.

But Miley's performing Saturday night at Crypto Arena or whatever it's called now. Oh, cool. With Green Day, actually. So I'm going to that. Wow. You trying to go? Yes, can I go? Mm-hmm.

Okay. Cool. See you there. Sweet. Who's suing us this week? I'm going to do some Wild Rivers. I like them too. It's called Bedrock.

I'm trying to get back. Well, I end up just driving around I can't keep crawling back I'm out of the red then down to the bedrock I can't keep crawling back I'm out of my head then down to the bedrock They're great. And also, I do believe they messaged us before and said thank you for us promoting their stuff. So I don't think they'll sue us, which is good news. Oh, that's great news.

Yeah. I feel like we should go out on this. Seems really right, considering what happened on The Bachelor this past week. But I want to say, uh, we need some more fuck-you-very-muches out there, so hit us up on, you know, on the Apple Podcast.

Give us five stars, tell us whatever you want, we'll read it, and we love you guys. Those this week were good. They were good. You guys are getting back into it, I like that. And you know what? I'm just going to start throwing in some erotic grandpa without Brandi knowing and then whatever. Right. Do you know what the song is that we're going out on?

No. Oh, man. What does that do with The Bachelor? This is the Baywatch theme. Oh. I'll always love you I won't let you out of my sight Well, yeah, maybe don't sing. We spent all our money on the Baywatch theme

We couldn't afford to get Yasmeen Blee Though Pamela Anderson or definitely not Harrison Ford. It also cut into our spray tan budget for Clayton. I think this is worse than his song. It is. But it's less embarrassing because less people are watching it. You know?

Alright. You good? Yeah, yeah. Let's go. Later. Who left you out of my life?