Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Wednesdays Are For The Boys

Episode Date: May 12, 2021

We’re in for a very special treat this week… Brandi is away so Wells called in his best buddy, John Krasinski! Just kidding, it’s Derek Peth. They spend the first part of the show exchanging poop stories, and we can see Brandi rolling her eyes all the way from Mexico. But, we also learn that Wells and van-influencer Dean shared a bed in Cabo, so that’s exciting. Wells manages to keep the show on track as they ding in their fave (and least fave) things, plus we learn the real story behind Wells’ myriad voices. We are also then joined by THREE MORE special guests; Vern our erotic grandpa, and Derek and Wells’ grandmothers. What can we say YFTers, this episode is a real treat. Enjoy!  Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers:  JENNI KAYNE – Go to jennikayne.com and get 15% off your first order when you use code YOURFAVORITETHING at checkout  NUTRAFOL – Get 20% off your first month’s subscription plus free shipping on every order at nutrafol.com promo code YFT  GREEN CHEF – Go to GreenChef.com/90yft and use code 90yft to get $90 off including free shipping  THERAGUN – Go to theragun.com/yft to try Theragun for 30 days starting at only $199  SKYN – Shop SKYN condoms on Amazon.com   Join our community at Patreon.com/YourFavoriteThing 

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All right. Is that good? Doing it? All right. Got a treat for you, YFTers. Today, you're going to be hanging with the boys. Brandi's in Tulum, living her best life, posting bikini selfies, left and right, willy-nilly, showing off that farm bod. But guess but guess what? Don't worry. We're going to be bringing in your boy, John Krasinski, aka Derek Path. One of my best friends in the world. Can't wait to chat with him, do some, hello, Derek, this is your grandmother. Call him to make sure you're doing okay and eating plenty of food and drinking plenty of water. Gotta stay hydrated. Let's call them up.

Let's do the damn thing. Look at us with our guitars in the background. Oh, yeah. We're those guys that aren't really that great at guitar, but we have them out so people think there's a chance he could be great at guitar. Here's the thing. You need to know maybe two songs decently well that are like not not not like chord jammer songs you know i'm talking about like you need to know a couple of little fiddly

things you can do and then people think you're really good yep couple hammer-ons couple good bendos make sure yeah couple pull-offs make sure you've've got your A minor to C to G down pat. And boy, oh boy, you can play a lot of country songs. You've got to throw that minor in there so that you can play some sad songs and people know you're deep. Yeah, you're brooding, you're intellectual, and people should want to have sex with you. Speaking of deep.

Well, I did a little intro before I called you, but Derek Path, everybody, one of my favorite people in the world. We did Bachelorette. We did Bachelor in Paradise together. You gave me sage advice. See, because I don't consider you as like, we did Bachelor

in Paradise together. Yeah, well, I tried to get you to come to BIP3 where I was just like a normal contestant, but you't do it and then you came later but it's fine we all have our own journey wells that's right anyways i was just on a journey one of um debauchery and alcohol and celebrating the love our friend getting married and went to his bachelor party and let me tell you what ha this is the part of the story that i'm going bachelor party. And let me tell you what happened. This is the part of the story that I'm going to tell you. So let me tell you what happened, dude. And this is what happened to me last time I went to Cabo.

Okay. On the last night, I started getting like severe bubble guts. Okay. All right. I got a good story about this too. So this is going to be a good sharing session. Good, good, good, good, good. So I started to get severe bubble guts this is the last night so i'm wanting to go hard and like

you know really bring the wells energy and everything but i'm going to the bathroom i start counting and i was like yeah i gotta go i'm going again so there was a point where i was like gonna go uh for the seventh time tonight guys i think everyone was probably like that doesn't seem healthy at all but you know we're in me Mexico and we've been doing the dang thing. So I put myself to bed. I want to say like around 11. I was very, very responsible. Like I didn't stay out late.

Like I tried to rally, but I couldn't. Okay. So I put myself to bed around 11 o'clock, 11 p.m. My flight the next day out of Cabo was at 1030. At exactly a lot of time. A lot of time to just really recharge the bats. This is very responsible. You are reaching 40.

I am on the wrong side of 30. This is very true. By the way, I'm sharing a room and a bed with Dean. It's just Dean and I sleeping together and it's a lot of him.

I have so many pictures of him. A lot of scents. A lot of smells. Your bubble guts and Dean not showering. Exactly. Like, there was one point where I was like, our room smells like feet and vinegar, and I'm very concerned. And Dean's like, okay, I get it.

I get it. I'm the smelly one. And I was like, actually, I don't know. And it's both of us. I know. But, like, there was one day I had to air it out because I was like, Jesus Christ, this is absolutely. That's the thing. air it out because I was like, Jesus Christ, this is absolutely... That's the thing. You forget when you travel so much with a woman, they bring so many smells with them that really mask just how

absolutely disgusting men are in general. So two o'clock in the morning rolls around. I get up to go to the bathroom again for whatever time it was. And I'm just completely just like, I'm amazed there's anything left in me. Yeah. I know exactly what you mean. You just basically, you're just sitting there. Yeah. And it's just a lot of like.

Just in case. My body says, you know what? No more, no more butt stuff. Now we're doing mouth stuff. Oh, dude. Oh, no. So then I just start yakking up a storm, puking left and right. But there's nothing in there.

So it's just like the most poisonous bile ever. This is the great way to start a show, but, and this is just my life guys. So I start puking up so much thinking like that might make me start feeling better. No, no, no. It does not make me start feeling worse. So then I go back and lay down and I sit there and I writhe in pain as Montezuma gets its motherfucking revenge on me. And I just writhe in pain in the fetal position until I have to go get on a van. So first of all, at like 10 o'clock, I get myself to pack. Okay. And I'm having to do it all like doubled over and I shove everything in my bag, in my like golf bag. It was a golf trip.

And so, you know, comes and he's like, you know, doing the thing like, man, I just want to tell you how much like I love you. And I'm, you know, I love your heart and everything. I'm like, come here. And I was like, motherfucker, do not touch me. Any wrong interaction might start waterworks out of I'm not sure what hole in my body, but it's not going to be good. He's like, well, we're leaving. I said, I'm coming with you guys. So I get on the van and I go, hey, guys, I'm not sure what hole in my body, but it's not going to be good. He's like,

well, we're leaving. And I said, I'm coming with you guys. So I get on the van and I go, hey guys, I got to sit shotgun here. And the whole time I'm like in the fetal position. And so we're at Pedregal. And if you've ever been to Pedregal, it's like up on this mountain top in Cabo, right? And the hole, it's weird. The top of the tip of the top, right? The whole ride down. It's 1732 cobblestone lovey dove in my tum tum. And so I'm just being like, I'm going to fucking throw up all over the place. And everyone's like, well, how we do it? And I'm like, don't fucking talk to me. Don't even fucking talk to me.

So then we get to the airport. I make it there. Then we get to the airport. You learned how to meditate on this ride. Oh my God. I was fucking entering. You've reached the new place of Zen. Your soul left your body and was just holding it in from the outside.

I found my asshole chakra and I was really just fucking trying to keep it clenched. So then we get to the airport. Now, trying to go through customs is already kind of a bitch, right? But now they got this COVID protocol stuff. So you have to go talk to a gay agent, show them that you've passed the test in the last two days. Now, remember, I'm concerned that I'm not going to be able to get on the plane because I am so very visibly sick that they're going to be like, you definitely have COVID, even though I have the guy. I'm super dehydrated at that point.

So dehydrated. But I'm scared to like put any water in my body because if I do, okay, I get through like just like going through security thing. Oh, I felt so bad. Like, you know, this bunch of girls came up

and oh my God, you're our favorites. And I was like, I don't really don't want to be rude, but I might throw up all over your face i can't talk right now oh yeah and i'm just sweating like a hooker in church so oh so anyway so i get through security and i have to be like by myself so i'm just like in the fetal position just like trying to like wait for our thing to get called. And then of course they're like, boop. Here we go.

American Airlines flight 3502 into Falcon LAX. Here we go. Unfortunately, we have no sky bridge. So we're going to have to go get on a bus. So then we go get on a bus. And guess what? There's no air conditioning on said bus. Yeah. And it's packed like sardines.

So I'm in there just sweating being like, oh my God, we're not going to make it. Then, this is my favorite part, we get to the airplane that has the ladder, and we're in this long line. They're cleaning the plane. They haven't finished de-COVIDizing the plane, so they're still in there cleaning. It's Cabo, so I'm sweating so much, trying not to die, and I'm sitting there being like, I'm going to go throw up by the landing gear.

And then they're not going to let me go on the plane. So I get, we finally get on the plane. I just sat there and was in the fetal position the entire time. And I had to use the restroom 7 million times, but I wouldn't do it because I didn't want the rest of the plane to know that there was a good chance that I was dying inside. Then you have to go through customs. I still feel like hot death. Then I go through customs. I still feel like hot death.

Then you go through customs. That took fucking forever. Oh, and then LAX, like trying to get a ride share back home. God bless you. Anyways, so I was telling Sarah last night, I was like, I know that this is so like privileged of me to say, but it's kind of true. It was the hardest day of my life.

Oh my God. And that ladies and gentlemen is the whole show. The, the thank you for coming to today's episode. Wells, I can't believe you told me this entire thing just as proof as to why I shouldn't have come and stayed with you this week. Oh, no, that's actually not true. This is all just one big excuse. No, because I told you, I told you that before I did this to my body. So I was, I was, Wells and I were trying to see each other because it's been, I mean, basically over a year now and I'm vaccinated and like taking care of everything. So we were trying to, trying to see each other before we all, we had out in our, our separate directions, but then Wells

ditched on me last week. I'm calling you out, buddy. As you should. And I think it's fair to do so. I don't think that I'm wrong in my thought process on it all. I'm just really worried about my body. Obviously, very soon I'll have to keep the text message. Okay, but let me just set the table for everybody. Obviously, I'm going to have to leave to go work for a long time. My thought was like, I just want to make sure that like I'm as healthy as can possibly be before I go do that. So I feel good doing it. Okay. You read the text message. Should I do my Wells Adams voice? Yeah. Do it. Hey buddy, wanted to talk to you about your trip out here. I'm thinking we should have you come on and visit another time. You know, I'd love to see you and hang out, but I think I would just want to try and focus on getting super healthy and think the smart thing to do would be really focused on

getting ready. And I know if you come stay, I'll just be drinking tons of whiskey and getting fat. Please don't hate me. I love you, sweet prince. So I stand by this 100% because Derek, when we are together, we stay up until very late drinking whiskey. Don't worry. The funniest part about me calling you out for this is I was one day away from saying that I can't come. Oh, really? Wait, why couldn't you come? I have to fly out to New York and actually move some of Saffron's stuff around.

Because she's going to be in Europe for way longer than she thought she was going to be. And basically like help her with all of that stuff. So there's like so much going on with that. And then like with moving renter, like people moving into my rental property here and stuff. And I was like pulling my hair out. And so I just wanted to call you out before and make you squirm a little bit before telling you that I was literally just about to cancel on you. Damn it. So close. I know. All right. Quick PSA for those of you out there who rent, if you haven't heard of built, you're about to thank me. Earning points on rent is now a reality when you pay your rent through built. You don't even have to check with your landlord to start earning points that you can use towards flights, hotel stays, fitness classes,

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Again, joinbuilt.com slash YFT to start earning points on your rent payments today. All right, guys, a lot has changed over the last years. And if you're growing your e-commerce business, yeah, you can relate. Whether you're looking for better efficiency during the hectic holiday season or your business has outgrown your old shipping solutions, you need ShipStation to help you scale your business. ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiency with a robust all-in-one fulfillment system that integrates with over 180 of the most popular e-commerce platforms, marketplaces, and carriers. Listen, the holiday season is right around the corner.

Odds are that you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce. If you're shipping, you got to do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 89% off. UPS, DHL, Express, and USPS rates. What, you don't want to save money? Come on. Deliver a better customer experience with industry-leading features that help you find the best carrier rates, print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude.

Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code YOURFAVORITETHING to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code YOURFAVORITETHING. Do it. Okay, so my Mexico story, I'm going to shorten it because it's been a while and I don't have all of the details. But basically, so we drove from Phoenix.

It was like a group of, I think it was like 15, 20 friends, which it was really cool. It's this part that's in, I don't remember the name, Punta something probably. Yeah. Or Puerto something. Yeah. You know, that covers about, I think, 80% of Mexico on the coast. Yeah. Basically, like we rented this house that

looked like it was out of scarface you know it's like it sleeps like 25 people it had like 12 bedrooms and then half of us were like sleeping on these enormous couches anyway it was a really fun week but it was it was about three of us that we went to uh this like hotel and they were giving us cans of drinks like we were just getting cans of beer and i think that's what like gave it to us because like something on the rim of that or whatever we were super careful about everything else but so the last two days i was like you like i was just literally i say i know i've been there because i was just sitting on the toilet just in case because the second I would get up and leave.

Brandy's going to hate us for having two shit stories to start this podcast. She'll be like, ew, that was such boy humor. I was literally just sitting there. And then I'm like, I'm thinking we're good to go. I'm ready to go. We're driving. So we have, there is like nowhere to stop on the way from Phoenix to where we were. And it's like a five hour drive.

So the last, we drive about 30 minutes and then there's a gas station there. And I was like, guys, I got to like, I just, I just need one last just to make sure I'm good before, before we go. So I go in there and of course, like a couple of people went in and bought some snacks and stuff. And I do my thing, no toilet paper in this bathroom. I was gonna say, it's a bold move

going to a Mexican gas station bathroom. I had to, I had no choice. So I like peek out and like our phones at this time, this was long enough ago that you didn't just like automatically get, you how like u.s canada mexico has text kind of the like all all in one not not at this time and so nobody's like everybody's phones are off i can't just like text someone be like hey can you grab some napkins and bring them into me so i'm just like peeking out and i like i'm not going to just ask some random nice old Mexican lady who's there

you know paying for her gas for that so I had to just like wash myself in this with sink it was the most uncomfortable experience I could have ended it with and it made me sure that I didn't want to try and stop anywhere else along the way so

lo siento señorita por favor papel de la baño your diarrhea is muy malo that's the thing though and that's why like i don't think a lot of uh our listeners are gonna be mad at that because like i feel like everyone has the mexico got the montezuma's revenge story is that like the mex Mexican god of death? Yeah, I don't know. But he is so angry at all of us. I know.

You know, the Mexican god of I hate America. Yeah. That's what it is. By the way, we haven't done this yet, but we need to start the show. Do you know how to do it? Or do you want me to do the whole thing? Bros and hoes,

you're listening to your favorite pod, favorite thing podcast with. Wells and Derek. Just being on a bachelor party where there were some people who were single and like, we're going out, we're going to Squid Row and I was like, they were all doing that. And they're like, come on, Wells, come with me wells come with me i was like there is no amount of money that could get me to try to go out

with a bunch of dudes at nasty bars during covid in mexico you're the one that ended up with montezuma's revenge i know i know i know i do have a theory on how it happened because it's happened to me twice now. And I thought I was the smart guy in Mexico. Because I'll be like, don't eat the lettuce because they wash the lettuce in the tap water. But the way I think I get it, and it makes sense because you know, you have to always ask for ice there. Like, mas yellow, por favor. I drink vodka soda. Because I can do that kind of like all night and not feel bad the next day. But I know they put ice in it.

And I'm telling you, that ice, I think, comes from their tap water. And that's how I get it. You've listened to the show. Do you have any favorite things, bro? I do, bro. I just watched. I started watching it because Netflix was like, hey, this is number one. I hadn't been on Netflix in a little while.

This is like a weird story actually so our family netflix got hacked and someone just created a user that said hi and then it was like the view for vendetta face you know like the the mask and my mom sent sent it and was like this is kind of weird yeah and i just got this like really weird feeling instantly like in the pit of my stomach and i was like mom i think like maybe i need to come look at your account so i like i'm in back in waverly so i drove over to my parents house the next morning and i was like let's just take a look at and google had like 22 alerts saying your this has been found on the dark web this password has been found on the dark web and they people had been trying from like 16 different countries to break into her email address

and and we were like changed everything spent all this time yeah have you ever used google you know when they uh when they suggest a password yeah and it's like really unnecessarily complicated yeah so basically that got changed to that and i hadn't used it in a while but jupiter's legacy yeah baby it's on my list too did you see it okay good did you watch all of it yet no i'm like on episode four maybe okay i watched all of it in one day wow yeah because you know what like I told you this a couple of weeks ago and this is where, okay. So another, if I had a dinner,

good, good suggest is, uh, was your, your book, the invisible life of Addie LaRue. Yeah. You liked it.

Yeah. I've got four hours left. I've been listening to it on audio book while I'm like doing stuff, but I've been like really getting into the fantasy sort of like escapism because the terribleness and and stuff of what we've all been going through I can't watch anything real anymore if I watch news or if I like watch documentaries or whatever kind of like even history stuff I'm just like so mad at everybody and everything. So all I've been watching lately is like every fantasy kind of, so this was like a new universe that I got to experience.

And I thought the dude that wrote it did a good job. I mean, he wrote kick-ass. I don't know if you know that he's like the same guy that created kick-ass. I thought they did a good job producing it, but here's the tag. The first generation of superheroes has kept the world safe for nearly a century.

Now their children must live up to their legacy in an epic drama that spans decades and navigates dynamics of family, power, and loyalty. Jupiter's Legacy. The cast is really good, by the way. So it's Josh Duhamel. Is it Josh Duhamel or Josh Duhmahl? I've always said Duhamel too. Yeah. Anyways, so he is Jupiter. Josh plays a guy named Sheldon. He has a brother named Brainwave. And then his wife is Grace Kennedy Sampson, who's played by Leslie Bibb, who's been in like a lot of stuff.

They're like 200 years old, it seems like, or like 150 years old. Yeah, the history part kind of takes place back in the 1930s or whatever, like right around the depression time. Yeah. There's a lot of like depression era influences. Yeah. Yeah. So it kind of jumps back and forth between that time before he had superpowers and then

present day where he has, you know, these two kids who have superpowers and, you know, one really wants to be like the one that makes his dad proud and like wants to be part of the superhero team then he's got this daughter who's like kind of gone off the rails and gotten into substance abuse issues and he's like a model and stuff all the while they're having to like fight super villains and stuff but then it's also like keeps on going back and forth in time so you understand like how this has all happened and it's all predicated on the fact that josh dumas character has started to be concerned about his own mortality and having the family legacy live on and someone needs to protect the you know the world and everything so i'm only in on like episode four but it looks pretty badass and i will say this i got a feeling the daughter that's like got the substance abuse

issues is going to be like the most powerful i agree i was like reading stuff about it like while i was watching it because it's probably three or four seasons it seems like at least that has like been written already from the comic books themselves we know we're in for the long haul which i like because i don't like to get to like get watching something and then it's just one season of it and then all right well that's all we ever get you know yeah like again if i'm gonna escape i want to i want to go the thing i like about it so much is any character that's like joshu mel's in any of these shows they're always like like it's a superman or like captain america they're always like, perfect, the perfect leader, everybody always follows

everything they ever say. And like, in this case, it's kind of a mix of it of like the boys where there's like disagreements and questions about whether he's he's right, you know, kind of, I just appreciate that it's not totally written on the wall, like how things are going to go. So I like that a little bit of a shift. The humanity of it all is interesting when you're dealing with someone who really isn't technically human at this point. It seems like there could be an endless amount of superheroes and supervillains. Like it seems like it's something that can continue to perpetuate upon itself. It's like a new bank robber every episode i'm like oh what the fuck is this person's

superhero power all right cool and then there's one guy that's not even a superhero he's like a superhero stick and the stick's badass and it just transforms him around i loved your face trying to figure out what it was stick okay so my other favorite thing has been giving people relationship advice. Now that I've been engaged again. Yeah. I guess because I've done it twice, I'm, like, really good at relationships. Yeah, yeah.

So, some people, more people have been coming to, like, Saffron and I for advice. And I love giving relationship advice. Not, like, grand scheme. Saffron and I for advice and I love giving relationship advice not like not like grand scheme like I don't want to I don't want to host a show and give relationship advice to random people like knowing all of these different people because you see them go against your advice and then you can be like I told you so because there's not you don't really have skin in the game anymore yeah and my and so but this is this is my favorite my favorite thing about it is saffron always has decisions beforehand about whether people will work out the one thing that she always comes down to that is a definite no

is if head shape ratios are wrong now now here's the thing about it here's the thing about it. Here's the thing about it. There's no science to this. She can't explain to me how I figure the same thing out. It's just something she knows. She just knows instantly if people's head shapes are correct for each other. There is no actual information about how this works. She swears by it. That's so funny. So what's your favorite piece of advice you've given so far?

It always comes back to just a couple of things. And I think that dudes want to be tough and not care. And girls care too much when it comes to like well what should i do in this situation we've been having these like troubles and so it's seriously that's almost that's like 90 of pieces of advice with the dudes it's like just like maybe call her yeah that's probably a good idea like you should probably just go and talk about this with girls it's always like just step away again i'll say so it's like saffron's thing okay this is hers with this is it's always she literally and this is never what anybody does but any type sort of like

question that her friends that are girls ask she always, just don't talk to him for three weeks. If he's like, if he like doesn't show enough interest and she's like, and then you have your answer. And it actually is weirdly always works. She's going to be so mad hearing that. Cause she's going to be like, that is not the worst advice ever.

Derek. It's a weird, hard world with COVID because I'm just so glad that I that we met each other before this, because I don't know how the hell people are trying to, like, make sense of normal stuff like that. And then you have to get like a protractor or something and figure out like the size of your melon in comparison to the size of their noodle. And it's got to work. I now want to like have her on to explain that better. Cause I think that's funny and probably true. Like right off the bat,

you're like his forehead's way too big and it's just going to be an issue down the road. No, it's not even that. It is literally just the whole head. Yeah. She just makes an assessment. What's on your list?

Jupiter's legacy was number one on my list. So I'm glad you brought that up. And then today I went down a like long and lonesome road into a documentary about, did some true criming in Bed by Nine. Have you seen Sons of Sam? No, I haven't. Which serial killer was that? I forget. So it's called Sons of Sam, A Descent into Darkness.

The serial killer was a guy named David Berkowitz. He was also known as the 44 killer because he did his murders with a 44 caliber pistol. This show is about David Berkowitz or Son of Sam. And so it starts off like just explaining what happens. And obviously it takes a very long time for the NYPD to figure out who this guy is. And he's able to kill a lot of people.

And then there is this journalist called Mari Terry, who is like obsessed with the case and starts digging into it and finds all this stuff. It's all predicated on the fact that a lot of people don't think that David Berkowitz was the only guy doing the killings because all the composite photos looked completely different. And then when they found him, he didn't look anything like the original composite photos. Here's the tag. The Son of Sam case grew into a lifelong obsession for journalist Maury Terry, who became convinced that the murders were linked to a satanic cult. When did you practice this voice? Did you just jump into it?

Did this just happen one day you decided you were going to start doing that or yeah or did you practice it i feel like it's it's a peek behind the curtain what's your writing process well i think it it derived from like in a world where right two friends have a podcast i think that's where it came from so when i started i don't know. Fuck, dude. You didn't know me back when I had my radio shows, but my radio shows, I created like a lot of different characters because my fucking radio station wouldn't hire other people to be on my show.

So I had to like make up. Yeah, it was just you, right? Yeah. Just you on a morning show? Yeah. So I'd have conversations with myself with people I'd make up. No wonder you're so weird. Yeah, I then i'd go i'd go to like it's actually not a childhood thing it's the first job thing yeah and then i would go to like host beer bands and bingo at

tin roof on a tuesday and someone be like oh my god i love so and so and i'll be like that person doesn't exist i mean what are you talking about i heard them this morning i mean yeah i made them up you crazy person i just want to envision you doing different voices to yourself and the dogs as you're walking around well i do with carl right how's it going hey guys what's going on back to the sons of sam the thing that's nuts to me about any of these serial killer things is like, there's this void, I feel like from like the 50s, 60s to the 70s, where the most nuts stuff happened, because like, it's so much harder to get away with any of that stuff. You know, it is literally like down to as simple as that your ID has your face on it. The guy from like Oregon or Seattle or whatever that ended up killing people in seven different states because he would just go to a different state, go to the driver's license and be like, yeah, this is my name. Here's my birth certificate that he just made up.

You can't do that stuff anymore. That had to be a freaky because I don't know when this happened, but I'm guessing it's probably like 70s or something like that. It just has a 70s vibe to it. August of 1977. So what's crazy about it is like the story itself is insane. So he was just going up to these people that were just sitting in a car, basically at lover's lanes and stuff like that, and then just shooting them. And then he started writing in notes to the police officers and the news people calling himself the son of Sam. And Sam was a dog and the dog was the 6,000 year old entity telling him to go do all these murders, which is insane, right? And then, so then

what happens is, is that you figure out who this guy is. Finally, they figure it out. And it was something as simple as it was someone who got a parking ticket in the area of the murder that didn't live in that borough that night or something like that. And I want to ruin the whole thing, but they figure out who it is. So then they figure out who Sam is. The dog was killed by this guy. And it was his next door neighbor whose name was Sam, who was like, yeah, he killed my black lab. You know, he's an asshole. This guy, Maury Terry, starts going down this like really deep road of, wait, how do we know it's not actually his sons that did this? And if you start looking at the pictures of his sons, not David Berkowitz,

they look like the composite pictures. And so that was like, it's like really creepy. And then it starts to go in this weird satanic thing because all these guys are involved in like this like animal sacrifice and all it always starts with that stuff oh i know right i feel like you have to be darker to kill animals than people yeah you know what i mean yeah absolutely did you ever watch the documentary don't fuck with cats no i didn't that one's crazy i didn't know you know what so like i just always avoided it because the idea of like people hurting animals weirds me out so much yeah and like me out so much so i just avoided it

i never even looked that i don't know if they how much they show that kind of stuff but just like them people just constantly talking about it that's just one of my weak points. I can't, I just can't even hear it. I just have to, like, walk away. I agree. Anyways, if you're into True Crime, Glass of Wine, and Bed by Nine, The Sons of Sam on Netflix, very good. And also very creepy. And also finished it in one day, and I still don't know what I believe.

So I think that's always the best, that's the best hallmark of a documentary, is, like, when you're like, I don't even know, dude. I could be swayed either way the best. That's the best hallmark of a documentary is like when you're like, I don't even know, dude, I can be swayed either way. Yeah. It's worth talking about it for the next two months. That's half of it.

Yeah. I have a least favorite thing. It has to do going back to Mexican travel. Okay. As you're going back there soon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, all airlines, let's figure out fucking immigration forms already, okay? I don't need this one that's going to be written in Sanskrit. I don't remember Spanish from when I was in eighth grade in Ms. Wiedenbaum's class. And also, how do you not have enough? How is there never enough immigration forms on the plane when you know exactly how many people are going to said destination. Let's get together with that. Here we are in the middle of all this doing everything to slow things down, right? Yeah.

And then we're wearing masks, we've upgraded the cleaning process, and then you get off of a plane and they've got five pens for people to fill these forms out yeah so everybody is touching the same five pens and it was just like you guys just put so much effort into everything else and you really failed how did you not think about this one thing anyway yeah and then also i'm going to bring in to your country fruits and vegetables for $10,000. Who is bringing that stuff? I'm not coming to Mexico to hang out at a farm. I promise you that.

Like, don't worry. I'm not bringing any of this stuff, okay? I need them all to be in English, okay? Or like English and Spanish. But I love it. I'm sitting there being like, I think this is asking like how many bags did I bring, but it also might be how many days I'm staying here. And those are very drastic number differences. I'm surprised though, that there's

whatever country you're coming from, it should be that and where you're landing. Yeah. My other favorite thing is I love that the technology that we've gotten to for like sussing out maybe airline terrorists is, hey, touch this button. If you get a green light, you can go. If you get a red light, you're fucked. Is this a random number generator? Like, is there some Oz in the tower watching all of us being like, that guy looks like he should get a red button. There was a meeting someday that they were like, you know, we should do, let's just have a button. And if you get a green, you can go. And if you get red, then you got to go through the little x-ray machine again. You know what it is? Well, it's head shape ratios. I bet. Yep. It's not, it's not a science. There's somebody back there that they are just an expert at it.

Do you have anything else? Do you have music or books or anything? I've been, because I'm back here in my hometown, like this is this house that I've, my sister has been renting from me for like a really long time and they bought their own place. But I had like a whole bunch of stuff here that was like my boxes from my parents' house when they were like, all right, we're turning this into a workout room. Yeah. Take all your stuff. And then I just moved it over here and left it with my sister for because i was moving all over the place so i've been cleaning out so this is my least favorite

thing i guess how come beanie babies were never worth anything i know this joke has been made a million times on like instagram but it actually happened to me and i was like why did we buy this shit yeah why did we think that a little animal or like a fake animal with tiny little beads inside was going to be worth a hundred dollars or whatever and it was like gonna do you remember going to mcdonald's and getting those things i remember the tie- tie dye princess dye one was the one that was, everyone was like, I got to get that one. It's like a fucking Babe Ruth's rookie cards.

I mean, we're so much money. So do you have the princess dye one? I don't think so. Okay. There's like a hundred of them though, that I took to Goodwill and actually the local, don't take your stuff to Goodwill.

They're, they're a prop for profit corporation. I don't, I'm anti Goodwill. Wow. I went to trick it and togs my local waverly iowa donation place here's my next question what do i do with my old baseball cards which i loved to look at like how do i know if it's worth something or do i just throw them all

out or give them give them away? Like Marie Kondo this stuff. So that somebody else can find the $2,000 card after spending, you know, 35 hours looking through all of these cards. Yeah, you got to go to Antiques Roadshow, which by the way, one of my favorite shows ever. See if anything's worth anything. And then, okay, here's my last one. And then, okay, here's my last one. Okay. Do you want to learn how to play Magic the Gathering with me on Skype? Because I found my Magic the Gathering cards from when I was the kid that went and stayed inside for recess.

Yeah. And played Magic the Gathering with my two other friends that played Magic the Gathering instead of going outside to play for recess. Just so I know, because I was cool and I didn't do this, is Magic the Gathering similar to Dungeons and Dragons? Yes. It's way more like Dungeons and Dragons-y, but it's the same as Pokemon. Okay. It was the predecessor, but it's more like Lord of the Rings.

I do not want to do that, but thank you for asking me. Also, don't believe you had two friends to go play this with at recess. I feel like it was your teacher and an imaginary friend named Leonard. Alright.

Okay, that's all I have. Okay. You got any musics? I do Pandora all the time. Because I don't like thinking about what I'm going to listen to. And I did start listening to my Angels and Airwaves Pandora station. Yeah. And Deathcap for Cutie lately. Both of those stations have been really playing.

So I've really been returning to my teenage years. And younger, I guess, with these Magic Gathering cards and then trying to listen to like music that makes me think of when I had no responsibilities. Yeah. Just better times. I saw that Modest Mouse put out some new stuff and yeah, I mean, I was a big float on guy. Anyways, this is, I guess, title track called We Are Between. I thought I'd give it a play too. We are, we are, we are The livers of our own thoughts Hello, hello, hello This is the best part

We are, we are, we are Driven by our own thoughts We are between, we are between, yeah we are It's kind of interesting because it's got like this Modest Mouse meets A Red Hot Chili Peppers vibe to it I think it's the bass line It's like a flea bass line that I'm getting out of it Anyways, I like that

I don't know if you've ever got into this band called Wild Rivers, but I really love this band. And this is Love Gone Wrong from their acoustic demos. And this was all my release radar recently. Like laughing till you can't breathe Tripping on your own feet Dancing to a heartbreak song It's like love gone wrong

Trust in what you can't see You can try it but it ain't free It was fine until you came along Now it's love gone I tried to make sense of All the bad stuff And all the rest comes I like those guys dynamic. And I like that.

I don't know if it's a producer or it's just like the band's decision, but they put the female vocalist out a little more front and center than the other guy that's singing with the harmonies. And whatever that juxtaposition is with like hers taking over a little bit more of the sonic space. I just fucking love it. It just sounds to me so good that they've like made that decision. And anyways, Wild River is great.

I always have so much respect for any band who can still sound good this is such a low bar yeah but you put out like a live sound or an acoustic sound and it's and it's as good if if not better yeah like that's a big thing for me if people can't do that like if your music is made in a lab i just i don't like that totally understand it when you can have 45 harmony tracks, you know, like really fill something out. All right, that's dope for your record. But when we go on tour and I go see you guys, am I going to get a completely different? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's exactly what I mean.

Because like I'm all about whether a live show is still enjoyable in the way that like I'm not going to come and be like, I don't really like that song, actually. You know, I don't want to be disappointed in your performance. That's what she said. All right. I think that's everything. I think we got it. We got it. We've solved the world's problems.

And also, hey, guys out there, if you're dating someone with whose head is just a fucking different shape get it together okay if you're not sure what to do women don't talk to him for three weeks men call her right now just call her all right before we finish this we need to go through a couple uh patreon things real quick. By the way, live shows for all tier two patrons is coming up this Friday, 5 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, 8 p.m. Eastern. So make sure you tune in for that. It'll be actually the first time that I have a drink

since the goddess Rhea attacked me in Mexico. Also, by the way, mugs are on their way. They've been shipped out to everyone who has been a tier two patron for three months. There you go. And real quick, we have to do some erotic grandpa shout outs. Shout out to Whitney Kay from Texas. What's crazy is that I have a sister named Whitney who does live in Texas, but her last name does not start with a K, so I don't think it's my sister. Also, I'm pretty sure that nobody listens to my show and my family because they're all highly disappointed. Also, shout out to Laura J.

from Tennessee. I dated a Laura from Tennessee once back in the day. She was beautiful. I'm sure just like Laura J. is. Shout out to Jessica W. from Tennessee. Everyone is from the volunteer state. How exciting. Shout out to Danielle R. from North Carolina. I do love North Carolina. I believe it's the better of the two Carolinas. They're on top, if you will. That's a good grandpa joke. Shout out to Jennifer M. from New Mexico. Also, big shout out to our neighbors from the north, Erica Jade M. How many names must you have, Erica? It's too many, but you're from British Columbia, which is a beautiful part of the country where they name people way too many names. Also shout out to Emily L from

Minnesota. Shout out to Sarah M from Texas and Kayla S from Kentucky. Oh, I do love Lexington and that's actually kind of it from Kentucky. Oh, and a big old erotic grandpa shout out to Brooke K from Oregon, who apparently just got married and is now on her honeymoon right now with her husband Kevin, who is also a big fan of the show. Which is a fucking lie sent to me by my producers because we know that men do not like this show. And if Kevin does listen to the show, it's only because Brooke makes him listen to it,

or else she's going to get the force, which would be the quickest marriage since Paris Hilton, probably. I'm not sure. Anyways, this has been Erotic Grandpas. I bet you kids out there don't know that Erotic Grandpa does have a girlfriend, and it's Derek's grandmother.

Well, Derek, this is your grandmother, and I'm so thankful that you came on this show. I've missed you so much. You're such a sweetie pie pumpkin eater, and I love you very, very much. Listen, hi, Wells. This is your grandmother. I heard you in Mexico and I just want to make sure that you didn't have any of that ice because I know how it gives you the bubble guts and makes you not so happy all the time. And you need to be happy and feeling good for your girlfriend, fiance, whatever she's called. And I just want you to make sure that you're taking care of the house while she's gone

and not treating it bad because you don't feel good. I like how your grandma smokes a little more cigarettes than my grandma does. Yeah, I don't even know how we just started doing that. I always forget. But we just did. Oh, I haven't called you and left you a message like that in a while. I need to get back on that. It's always good because you never answer your phone.

So I'm always offered a platform to do something like that. All right, buddy. Well, I love you so much and I do miss you. And I'm sorry we're not going to hang out, but I also feel like weirdly better about it because you were going to bail on me anyways. We'll make it happen sometime. Yeah.

All right. Well, everyone out there, I would assume that all of our listeners know who you are and where to follow you, but if they don't, where do they need to go? Google Derek Pace. Yeah. And also Google his mom for

passwords to his Netflix. Oh, no. My mom mom's gonna get a hat. She is. God damn it. Alright guys. See you later everybody. We love ya. Now it's love gone wrong Love gone Love gone wrong