Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Wells gets boners on planes

Episode Date: February 2, 2018

This week on YFT, Brandi talks about the pros and cons of the hand job, Wells and Brandi profess their mutual love for Cardi B and Wells admits that he gets boners on airplanes...for some weird reason.

All right, guys, a lot has changed over the last years, and if you're growing your e-commerce business, yeah, you can relate. Whether you're looking for better efficiency during the hectic holiday season or your business has outgrown your old shipping solutions, you need ShipStation to help you scale your business. ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiency with a robust all-in-one fulfillment system that integrates with over 180 of the most popular e-commerce platforms, marketplaces, and carriers. Listen, the holiday season is right around the corner. Odds are that you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce. If you're shipping, you got to do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches.

It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 89% off UPS, DHL, Express, and USPS rates. What, you don't want to save money? Come on. Deliver a better customer experience with industry-leading features that help you find the best carrier rates,

print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers switch to shipstation today go to shipstation.com and use code your favorite thing to sign up for your free 60-day trial that's even more savings that shipstation.com code your favorite thing do it i know i just feel bad being like, I'm gonna travel, oh, shucks! But I feel like people want to know what we're doing. I guess. And they're like, ooh, I knew before. Yeah. Because I heard on the podcast.

I guess. But yeah, like, I'm not gonna be, like, the fact that I haven't gotten fired yet is... I can't believe that. I can't believe it either. How have you not been fired? I don't know, because I just work like crazy, though, like, when I'm here. When you're here, they're like, he's dedicated. They can't not, they, I mean, I guess they could. I don't know because I just work like crazy though like when I'm here. You're here like he's dedicated. They can't not. I mean

I guess they could. I just feel like how do people like when I hear you on the radio and I know you're out of town I'm like this isn't real. He's not here right now. I know I feel bad about it but whatever like. So like okay let me just go through my timeline then you go through your timeline. You want to have a competition about

who's got the crazier freaking schedule? I think I need to pull up my calendar. So you go first. Let me pull it up. Okay. Tomorrow, flying to Mexico. Okay. That's random. Totally random. This was a thing that I agreed to with my brother months ago. And like one of my favorite bands, the Ava Brothers. It is?

Yeah, I love the Ava Brothers. Okay. Such good lyricists. Anyways, they're newer stuff I don't love so much, but like older stuff, you know, like Second Gleam and, you know. Anyways. Okay. They're having a music festival in Cancun with like Head in the Heart. Ooh, Cancun.

I know. With like Head in the Heart, Langhorne Slim, John Prine. Like I'm all about this thing. Yeah, yeah. But I agreed to it drunkenly. Oh. And it's like expensive too. Yeah, it sounds expensive.

I'm owing him a lot of money because he booked all this. And when I agreed to it, like 30 whiskey shots in. So I got that this weekend, which I'm pumped about. It'll be fun. That sounds fun. Yeah, I've had something a fun break. So I leave tomorrow, which is Thursday. Uh-huh.

Okay. Come back on Sunday. Yeah. All right. Come back on Sunday. That's Super Bowl Sunday. Right. I'll be there.

You will? I'll be there on Sunday. I'll be there on Sunday. I'll be there on Sunday. I'll be there on Sunday. But you continue with your cow and then I'll let you know about mine. Ooh, that is my new favorite thing that you're going to the Super Bowl. Yeah.

Okay, so then I come back Sunday. I got to record four shows for iHeart. Like four days worth of shows? Yes. Wow, okay. Then I get on a flight Monday morning, go to New York. I'll be in New York. Really?

See you there. All right. I'm filming something for some pilot thing. Top secret. Top secret. They want me to be the host. That's cool. I'm all about it.

Yeah. Fly back Wednesday. Okay. Come back to work Wednesday, Thursday. Record a bunch more shows. Uh-huh. Get on a plane Friday morning. Fly out to LA.

Oh, gosh. Because I got to do Valentine's Day with Sarah and stuff. Oh, my God. That's not why you're going to LA. Yeah, it is. This one's no work at all. I'm going there purely for like- do Valentine's Day with Sarah. Oh my God, that's not why you're going to LA. Yeah, it is. This one's no work at all. I'm going there purely for like- For Valentine's Day?

Well, because Valentine's Day happens in the middle of the week. Uh-huh. So we're going to like- Is Valentine's Day that big of a deal that you're going to fly all the way out there? Well, I haven't seen her in a little bit either. I want to go. Oh, that is disgustingly just really cute. My past boyfriends haven't even sent me freaking flowers on Valentine's Day, much less fly

across the country. Yeah, that's some dedication. I'm starting to get scared for you. Why? Because I feel like you're really in love and this is a real thing and you're actually going to get married someday and that scares me. Why does this scare you? Because I'm all alone. That's what it is, isn't it? Yeah. That's why you're mad.

I'm not mad. I'm freaked out. You're freaked out just because I'm happy? Because I really just thought you would just forever be like Bachelor Wells who lives with Carl and has a cute bachelor patty house and listens to his records all day and is sad because he's single. Yeah. I look at you now. I know.

Mom grows up. Yeah. All right. Tell me your schedule. Was that all? Yeah. That's the next week and a half. Side note, let's just talk about how someone tweeted that Cardi B, one year ago at the

Grammys, all people knew her was that girl from that MTV show. Or no, Love and Hip Hop, MVH1 show. And look at her now, a year later, nominated for a ton of things, talk at the Grammys, and engaged to Offset. That's how quick your life can change, boys and girls. Real quick, she's my new favorite thing. She's incredible. Like her interview with... Oh my gosh.

When she's like, I feel the butterflies in my stomach and my vagina. Wait, did you watch her recent video on Instagram? It's like a selfie vid and she's talking to her fans just about how appreciative she is and how there's so many haters, but then she realizes how many people really love her. and then out of nowhere

she's like also guys always carry matches with you because they cover up farts and anytime you gotta take a shit it covers it up like she goes on this rant about matches in the middle of thanking her fans for their support you have to watch wait hold on also like um have you heard this one where she

talks about taxes no I gotta follow her next one. You're here. You're here. If you owe me a check, hold that motherfucker for 2018, y'all. Dude, same. Because the motherfucking IRS. Same. The IRS is coming after tax season.

Just hold that, sis. You know what I'm saying? She's so funny. What's so funny about her is that she's so relatable for how extra she is. Oh, totally. Like, I can relate. Like, my business manager was like, hey, don't let anybody else pay you until next year. You owe way too many taxes.

I know. Same, girl. Oh, man. She is the best. I want to meet her. I want to, like, go hang out with her. I want to get a drink with her. Yeah. Miley tweeted that she was the only person she cared to see at the Grammys.

Oh, I believe it. Yeah, that's pretty enough. By the way, sister, killed it with Elton, man. Was she your favorite Grammys moment? Yes! Say yes! I'm going to say no. I love your sister, but... Dare you. I'm going to... I don't know. The Kesha thing was kind of badass, right? I couldn't watch because I was playing a know the Kesha thing was kind of badass right I couldn't watch

because I was playing a gig some of us have to work so I couldn't watch the Grammys so I just went back and watched Miley's so she's

she was great and like Tiny Dancer right yeah that song yeah epic it's not as good when you do it

not as all no it's not as good what does that song remind you of though I don't know Elton John it doesn't remind you of Almost Famous? Oh, yeah, but a lot of things remind me of Almost Famous.

I know. Probably. Like the main guy's on acid, and they're driving the bus, and everyone's mad at him. It's probably been long enough that it's time for me to go back and watch that movie. One of my favorite movies. Oh, it's a classic. It's a classic. Jason Lee is the guitar player.

Oh, yeah. I get people off with the- Oh, my God. It really was great. How can you tell I'm pissed off? I'm just one of the blurry guys in the background. That movie and Spinal Tap are just classics. Yes.

Oh, look at you. A classic. Some of my faves. Your aura is purple. We're like really doing great with the faves already. I know. You know what we're not doing great with is introing the show. I know.

You want to do it? Sure. All right. Bros and hoes, you're listening to your favorite thing podcast with... Wells and Brandy. So why is your... My bell has a better pitch, just saying. I know.

Do you want to hear my sketch? Yeah, I want to hear it. Okay, first of all, I just came back from Orlando and did a gig with Fergie, and it was so awesome. Oh, cool. I used to listen to her when I was a kid or whatever, and she's awesome, but she was hosting the event, and I was just the DJ for the after party, so I didn't really think I'd get much interaction with her. And then in the middle of my DJ set, someone comes up to me and they're like, Fergie's coming up. Do you have Fergalicious? And I was like, yes, I do.

And they're like, all right, play it when she comes up. So I'm like waiting. I'm like turning around. Every song, I'm like, when is she coming? And so finally, I see her walking up, so I hit Fergalicious? And I was like, yes, I do. And they're like, all right, play it when she comes up. So I'm like waiting. I'm like turning around. Like every song, I'm like, when is she coming? And so finally, I see her walking up. So I like hit Fergalicious

and she comes up, takes the mic and starts giving this like epic speech and the song's ending and I'm like, oh God, what do I do? So I like looped the last like four measures of the song and she just kept like,

then she started like rapping like Fergalicious, like over the beat. I was like, yeah, girl. And I'm like right by her. I'm like, I'm on stage with Fergie. And she keeps going and going and going. And I'm like, man, like, do I'm like right by her. I'm like, I'm on stage with Fergie. And she keeps going and going and going. And I'm like, man, do I stop this?

She's not stopping? She just kept going? So she was rapping over her own song? The beat, yeah. Because I looped the beat at the end because she was still singing along and the song was ending. So I panicked and was like, OK, loop because she's not stopping. I didn't want to cut her off.

So she keeps going and going. And her manager comes up and pokes me after a while and is like, Hey, let's change the song and try to get Fergie off the stage. I was like, Oh, yeah, yeah. I just didn't want to. Yeah, of course. So I changed it. Started playing a Justin Bieber song, and she keeps going.

Really? She kept talking and rapping over this Justin Bieber song. It took forever to get her off the stage. Yeah. Hey. You just stopped. I was waiting for the words. Do you know this song? Yeah. Hey. You just stopped. I was waiting for the words. Do you know this song?

Yeah. Anyway, it was great. Okay, so that's really cool. Do you have like video of this? Yeah, I posted a couple to my story. I don't know if you watched. Wells clearly isn't my biggest fan. But I'm getting the full video footage from the whole event.

Oh, cool. I'll probably post like one a day for the rest of my life because it was so sick. I need the chorus. That shit is fictitious. Rock, rock. Running down the block. Just a rock.

I just like doing the Cardi B thing. Okay, that's enough talk about that. It was lit, though. So just got home from that. Have to leave tomorrow. Going to the Super Bowl. How did you get Super Bowl tickets? So I booked the official pre-party.

I'm DJing it. Flo Rida is headlining it. Hilarious. That's awesome. So that's Friday, and then I get to go to the Maxim party Saturday, which is always mega lit. I think 21 Savage and Cardi B are performing, so that'll be fun. And then they were like, I was like, I'll do it if you give me game tickets. So we have sweet tickets.

And then Sunday night, like a red eye, I got to fly to New York because I have a photo shoot on Monday in New York. I'm in New York until Wednesday, come home. I have a charity event here in Nashville on Saturday, which if you guys live in Nashville, you should come out. It's February 10th. Every penny that we make is going towards Caring Hearts Ministry. My friend Natalie, she goes to Mexico several times a year to minister and serve a community there. And so it's going to be really cool.

It's a masquerade. And I'm going to DJ. Daniel Bradbury is hosting. Wells, I wish you were going to be here because it's going to be epic. Sorry, I didn't know. You did know. When Luke was in here, we talked about it. But you're busy. I get it. But if you're not busy, you should come. All right. Quick PSA for those of you out there who rent. If you haven't heard of Bilt,

you're about to thank me. Earning points on rent is now a reality when you pay your rent through Bilt. You don't even have to check with your landlord to start earning points that you can use towards flights, hotel stays, fitness classes, and even your next rent payment. All right, let me break it down for you. There's no cost to join Build, and as a member, you'll earn valuable points on rent and your everyday spending. Build points can be transferred to your favorite hotels, airlines, and even the ones you haven't heard of. There are over 500 airlines and 700,000 hotels and properties around the world, you can redeem your built points towards. Points can even be redeemed towards the future rent payment and unique experiences that

only built members can access. So start earning points on rent you're already paying by going to joinbuilt.com slash YFT. That's joinbuilt, J-O-I-N-B-I-L-T dot com slash YFT. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you. Again, joinbuilt.com slash YFT to start earning points on your rent payments today. All right, guys, a lot has changed over the last years. And if you're growing your e-commerce business, yeah, you can relate. Whether you're looking for better efficiency during the hectic holiday season or your business has outgrown your old shipping solutions,

you need ShipStation to help you scale your business. ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiency with a robust all-in-one fulfillment system that integrates with over 180 of the most popular e-commerce platforms, marketplaces, and carriers. Listen, the holiday season is right around the corner. Odds are that you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce. If you're shipping, you got to do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future with technology built

to save you time, extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 89% off UPS, DHL, Express, and USPS rates. What, you don't want to save money? Come on. Deliver a better customer experience with industry-leading features that help you find the best carrier rates, print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code YOURFAVORITETHING to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code YOURFAVORITETHING. Do it. So I'm doing that and then I have a week off as of right this very moment. I have an entire week off and I can't

believe it. What are you going to do? Well, I have to do silly things like go to the doctor and get shots because the following week I'm going to- I'm doing silly things like not die. Like not die because the following week I'm going to Honduras with Ben. Holy crapola. Yeah. God, I really do need to get fired so I can do all this cool stuff with you. I'm serious. But what's hilarious is originally it was like Dean, Leslie, Becca, Ashley, like a whole group of us and none of them are going now. That doesn't surprise me.

It's just like me. Well, and Ben's going, right? Oh, yeah, Ben's going to go. And like a whole, like there's a group from Denver going and stuff like that. That's cool. I actually really wish that I could do that with you guys. I know. I wish you could go.

I know. We'll see. And then from there it just gets crazier, and I'm doing a horse show, and then there's things, horse shows, things. It just gets busier. I'm just so busy. So busy. Yeah.

Okay, so all I have to say, guys, I know you guys hate when we skip weeks, and it makes me sad when we skip weeks, but it's been really crazy for both of us, which makes it hard, but we're really trying. You want to get into the actual show? Yeah. By the way, proud of you, kid. Thanks. Same. Killing it. You're killing it, too. show? Yeah. By the way, proud of you, kid. Thanks. Same.

Killing it. You're killing it, too. That's all I want. All I want for you. I'm most proud of your relationship. I don't know what that says, but pretty proud. I got freaking a boot put on my car last night. I saw that.

Was it in this garage? No. Oh, it looked like it was in here. So I used to do endorsements for an apartment complex in town. You did. I won't say the name of it. But part of the deal was they gave me a key fob and I'd go work out there and I could use the pool. Oh, I feel like I remember this.

And then when I was there, I'd Snapchat or whatever and be like, I'm working out. It's a great relationship. So the key fob went to go work out last night. Oh no. Came back, they booted my car. Oh no. You didn't have a parking pass? Yeah, I didn't know you were supposed to have a parking pass. Whatever.

Anyway, so that happened. How long did it take to get it off? Like a while. And I was sweaty and it was cold out. And I wanted to, because I just worked out. I was like, I just want to get the fuck out of here. I probably would have just gone home. But I'll deal with it later.

I know. I can't though. Wait, hold on. Oh. Finally saw it. You're so fucking right. I love when Wells says that. What am I right about?

Three billboards outside of Ebbing, Missouri. How good is it? I knew you would love it. That needs to win the freaking Oscar. I agree with you. Or at least Frances McDormand. She needs to win something. She's incredible.

She's great. Woody Harrelson's great, but he's just not in it a lot. I agree with you. He's up for it. I love Sam Rockwell. Sam Rockwell's great in it, but he's just not in it a lot I agree with you like he's up for it I love Sam Rockwell so Sam Rockwell's great but he's like one of those like you love to hate

in it oh yeah yeah no the whole movie's great god it's good I know I told you so it's not a true story though oh we looked it up

that's good that's a good thing so I guess the director was so if you guys maybe didn't hear this last episode they were talking about it the premise is this woman her daughter gets raped

and murdered, and the cops can't figure out who did it. So a year's gone by, so she pays for three billboards on the street that she lives on, to basically talk trash about the cops, like get them working on the case again. So I guess the real story is the director

was on a bus ride somewhere in middle America, and he saw something like that that three crazy billboards and that's where he got the idea and started writing that's amazing I know but anyways

you are so right I love when I'm right I know because it's often it was really really good you know what also is really good and I'm embarrassed to say this

what Bright what is that oh I've been wanting to watch that Will Smith's new thing with an orc you are the only person to say that? What? Bright. What is that? Have you seen that? Oh, I've been wanting to watch that. Will Smith's new thing with an orc. You are the only person to say that it was good. But I've been wanting to watch it, mainly because the soundtrack is super lit. So I'm like, ah, the soundtrack's

good. Okay, so. Tell me about it. So basically, it's commenting on a lot of different things, okay? So basically, there's like caste system in this world. Where there's humans, there's orcs. So like basically orcs are like kind of like bad elves, you know, and then there are elves and like fairies.

It's like, it's kind of like this like altar world. Very like fantastical. Exactly. It's like if Lord of the Rings was happening like in today times. Right. And so like the elves are like the rich, well-to-do people and and the humans are middle class, and then the orcs are lower class. And it's Will Smith, who is a human, and then there's an orc who's his partner on the force, because they're both cops. And everyone is hating on the orc.

It's really sad, actually. It is sad. So it's obviously commenting on a lot of like socioeconomic situations that are happening right now. And when I saw the trailer, I was like, this is the dumbest thing. The trailer's not great. It's like Will Smith, you've really been like, fuck it, I don't care anymore. Like, what do you got, Netflix?

You want me to be an orc? Okay, let's do it. But I watched it and I was like, it's really good. And I knew something was up when they re-upped it for like a second season. Uh-huh. And then when you still get the- Wait, it's a series? I thought it was a movie. Sorry,

it is a movie, but they're doing another one. I see. And then I started looking at the cast, and I was like, damn, this is kind of stacked. So anyways, good. Interesting. Sad. I'm going to give that a watch. I was wanting to see it. I also caught up on Black Mirror, because you were talking about the last episode. I hate Black Mirror. Oh, God. Do you love it?

Everyone loves it. Some episodes I love and some episodes I hate. I have not seen any that I like. And I've watched all of the most popular ones that everyone tweets me and tells me to watch and I just cannot get into it. Can't do it. No. I'll tell you what my least favorite thing is recently was. Which one?

Dunkirk. I loved that movie. No. Why'd you hate it? No. Why no? hate it? No. Why no? You gotta explain. It was all over the place time-wise, right? Like, the timeline was really weird. You just gotta pay attention.

No. Yeah, you gotta keep up. I was keeping up, alright? It was all over the place. Uh-huh. Really low on dialogue. It is low on dialogue. I was literally about to say that. It's very low on dialogue.

Okay, and I get it. You got Harry Styles, who's not an actor, so you're like, just shut up and look pretty, buddy. But your boy Tom Hardy's very low on dialogue. Okay. And I get it. You got Harry Styles who's not an actor so you're like just shut up and look pretty buddy. But your boy Tom Hardy's in it. Exactly. But he's in a freaking cockpit the whole time with a mascot. You can't even hear him or see him. Yeah and you can't really see him. I know. So I was just like ugh. It was no Saving Private Ryan. I'm sorry. And I tweeted it out. It wasn't.

I tweeted it out. Man. You got a lot of hate. People hated on it. But a lot of people agree with me. And it's just an opinion. I liked it. But I also was like watching with me. Yeah. It's just an opinion. I liked it. But I also was like watching it on a plane and I was just kind of like, yeah. I get it. It was pretty to look at.

It was emotional. It's a war movie. Yeah, but like the DP did a great job. You know what I'm saying? Can I be honest with you? I didn't even finish it. Oh, really? Didn't even finish it.

I got tired of it. The end's the best part. Yeah, so I got to the part where everyone's in their boats. Yeah. And they're going, picking up everybody. Ooh. You didn't even get very far. No, they get to everybody.

And everyone's like, oh, yeah. Oh, at the end. The boats are here. Oh, yeah. You should have kept going, though. Should have kept going. It was just too much. Yeah, I understand that.

Well, I liked it. There's some sports things that you're not going to care about. I'm sorry, but- Kevin Love broke his hand. Kevin Love broke his hand. And I'm over here like, same liked it. There's some sports things that you're not going to care about. I'm sorry, but- Kevin Love broke his hand. Kevin Love broke his hand. And I'm over here like, same, bro. I know. What is on your hand right now?

Same. Oh, one of my new freaking favorite things that's ever happened, and I feel like more people need to know about it. It's called KT Tape. Yeah. Yeah. I see athletes wear this stuff a lot. They do.

Yeah. And I'm like, if it's good enough for the NBA, it's good enough for me. But everybody that has seen it on me has been like, oh, is that what Tom Brady had on his thumb in the game? And I was like, yeah, that's what he had on. So I don't know what's in it. It's magic. Like the minute, first of all, what I did is I'm not exactly, I haven't been to a doctor,

so I'm not exactly sure of the diagnosis, but I was at a horse show last week and my horse on the last day stopped at a jump. It was so unexpected. He never does that. I guess I braced myself across his neck and bent my thumb all the way backwards. So it hurt very bad when I did it. It swelled for three days, and it still hurts the same amount that it did when I did it, which scares me a little.

But the KT tape provides support. This is not a freaking ad. I wish it was, because I love this stuff so much. I don't know. It supports it, but there must be something in the tape that goes into your skin because the minute I put it on, I'm like, oh, I feel so much better. Really? Yeah.

All right. There's a reason athletes use it. It's good stuff. It's waterproof. Yeah. Yeah. It's waterproof. I'm a huge fan.

All right. I'm cool huge fan. All right. I'm cool with it. So if you guys have injuries, if you guys play sports, if you're outdoorsy and you're still riding your horse even though your thumb's probably broken like me, get yourself some KT tape. I mean, it looks like you had a bad jerk-off situation. Oh my God. No one else has been gone near there.

Like, you were given like an overly aggressive hand job, and then you pulled a muscle in your thumb. Honestly, the great news about this is I have the perfect excuse to not be given any hand jobs. Yeah. Oh, sorry, can't. Can't. Can't do it. I'm injured. That's okay.

A hand job. And I'm right-handed, so sorry, bro. Oh, man. It's okay. A hand job's a man's job. Yeah. Okay. Oh, I have- Can we talk about hand jobs for a second?. Hand job's a man's job. Yeah. Okay. Oh, I have-

Can we talk about hand jobs for a second? Yeah, let's talk about hand jobs. Okay. Are those still cool at the age of 30? What are you, four, three? I'm 33. 33. Thank you very much.

At the age of 33, if a girl's giving you a hand job, are you like, oh, this is so juvenile, or are you like, yeah, hand job? I guess here's the question. Am I only getting a handjob or is handjob leading to other jobs? It can lead to other things. If it's leading to other jobs, all about it. Okay, but if it's like... But if it's only a handjob? Only a handjob because

the girl's still a virgin, you're like, no, I can't. I don't know. Unless she is like a freak, like a Tiger Woods of handjobs. She's done like research and has like schematics. Uh-huh.

Like the no thank you. All right? Really? No to the handjob. No to the, because, because. I think that too.

I think it's so juvenile. I did that crap in high school. Like we've moved on. Yeah. We can ditch the handjobs. But then I feel like there's some girls that are like, no,

I still love to give a handjob. Like no, I still give them out all the time. I'll tell you when I like it. Okay. Like, so if you're just like laying in bed, like watching a movie or something, you know? I should record this. You know?

Wait, pause. I have to have this for Instagram. It's too good. Okay. When do you like a handjob well? Very few and far between. Like, if you're sitting in bed, you know, and like, you know, you're just watching TV and then all of a sudden you get a little tug of rug.

So during movie time. Yeah. You know. During Netflix and chill time. As long as the hand job turns into other jobs, that's great. Netflix and hand job. I'm all about a hand job. Okay.

But you just said you were like, nah. If it's purely a hand job, no thank you. But it's got to lead to something else. Yeah. Okay. Well, okay, so let's put the shoe on the other foot. Okay. Or the glove on the other hand, I guess.

Okay. I actually give just as good of a handjob with my left hand as my right. Really? But don't tell anyone that because it's not injured and I like my excuse, so. How do you know that you give a great lefty handy? Because I just know. Yeah? Yeah. You know after a handjob whether handy? I just know. Yeah? Yeah.

You know after a handjob whether you killed it or not. You know. Depending on how long it took, how good it was, how awkward it was, how awkward it wasn't. You know. Oh my God. That's funny. Okay. Hold on.

Glove on the other hand. Glove on the other hand. Do girls not like it when guys flick the bean? No, they do. Double click the bean? No, they do. Double click the mouse? No, they do. I feel like it's different though. Yeah.

It's different. I agree. A hand job is just like middle schoolers do that. Yeah, totally. And that's like all they do. I don't know. It just seems different. Yeah.

Hand jobs are pretty funny though. Hilarious if you think about it. I like the inverted hand job. That's when it's upside down. That's not a real thing. What about the two-hander? Oh, the two-hander. And then the cradling of the balls.

There's so many ways to do it. There's so many different ways to give an H-J. Oh, my gosh. A handy. This podcast is rated NC-17. I know. Hold on. I do have a favorite thing thing and I can't take credit

for it. Oh. Sarah has the funniest term that I want to start using in my regular vernacular. Okay. But she's not sure if she came up with it or if it came from a movie. You know you have those things where you're like, I don't know if I came up with this, but I've been saying it for so long that it's

now a part of me. Then it's mine. She's been saying that so-and-so is stuck in the dick sand. Do you know what that is? No. So it's like quicksand, but dick sand. Okay. So it's like when you are like, when like girlfriends like dating a guy and like she like only hangs out with him, like they don't do anything, like never come hang out.

I like this. Totally stuck in the dick sand. I like it. Okay. Isn't it so good? It's great. Man, if she really came up with that, I'm impressed. She thinks that she didn't, but I never heard of it. I haven't heard of it either.

I think I googled it to see if a movie would come up. Nothing. Thanks, Sarah. She's on it. I like that. Stuck in the dick sand is funny. I want to start using that. Yeah. I got a lot of friends stuck in the dick stance. I know. You asked a question on Twitter, I saw. Oh, I did. Should I check the responses? I'm looking at them right now

and we got a lot of them. We did? We're getting a good amount. Oh, good. Good. Oh, how was my experience at the Women's March? Do you want to hear a funny story about that? Yeah. God. Thank God this never came out. But now it's going to come out, so it doesn't really matter. By the way, thanks to Ava for asking that question. Ava's name is H-O-H Wells.

Okay. Okay. How cool. Ava was so cool for one second, and now she's creeped out? Or like super awesome that her name's like Hannah Wells or something. It might be. It might be. Wells is a normal last name.

Yeah. So let me tell you about the Women's March. So I was out in LA. Sarah was speaking at it. That's right. Which is amazing and I was very proud of her and was proud to be there and support the movement and all that kind of stuff. And so we get there. All the TV cameras are back there doing

interviews. And so of course Sarah goes over and has to do interviews with everybody. And then they see me. And it's like a bunch of people that I now know from doing The Bachelor and stuff. Doing all the press, yeah. Yeah, I know the press now. So they're like, oh my God, Wells, you're here. Do you want to come talk?

And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is the Women's March. I'm not going to say anything. And they're like, oh. Oh, yeah. Talk about getting yourself in trouble saying something stupid. So they're like, no, no, no, no. We want to talk to you about The Bachelor.

And I was like, okay, I can do that. Whatever. You've been watching every week, right? I've been watching every week. Love it. Hate it. Love it and hate it. We'll talk about that. We gotta get into that. We'll get into it. So they're talking about The Bachelor and I've got plenty of things to say about that and I'm making jokes and making fun of Ari's age and all that kind of stuff

and how it's too late. Even though you're not far behind. Oh, I know. It's the funniest thing in the world. And totally making fun of Becca, who's like... The little Becca? Yeah, who's just a couple years younger than Sarah. We're like, no room to talk here. So anyways, they're like, oh, what do you think about The Bachelor?

And what do you think about yada, yada, yada? And what about the girl? And then like, and what do you think about feminism? What's your definition of feminism? And then they turn the corner and I was like, whoa. That's why you can't do press. I know. I want to get this off my chest because I want to feel better about myself about it.

Okay. So the guy asked me, and this is after I went to the Golden Globes. So I did the whole like Time's Up thing with Sarah wearing all black. And then I went and did this Women's March. The guy said, what's feminism mean to you? I was honest. And at the time I was so upset with myself for my answer. But when I looked back, I was like, I was just telling the truth.

And I straight up said, I don't really know what that word means anymore. I think I originally thought that equality was such a powerful word that we needed a bunch of different names for it. But now I don't really know. I know that I support women. And I know I support them being paid as much as me. And I know that I'm the son of a mother and the little brother of two women that have worked hard. But I don't know what that means anymore. That was my answer.

Okay. What did he say to that? He was like, yeah. I don't know if you watch Dave Chappelle's stand up, which is getting a lot of heat right now. It is. It's the second one. Have you seen it? He talks about it and he says something really, really poignant.

He says a lot of things that aren't poignant. He says something that's really, really poignant. He says, you got on the run, ladies. All the guys are freaking out right now. But the problem is, is that you can't fix things with fear and everyone's scared right now. You got to fix things with love. and everyone's scared right now.

You got to fix things with love. I ended up writing this like really long thing after I got asked about feminism because I was really embarrassed. Why? I should have had a better answer. Uh-huh. But I think a lot of guys feel that way. It's like, I don't know what that means anymore.

Right. You know? Yeah. Because we're getting, guys are getting told, it's a million different things swirling around us, you know? And I think for a lot of people, especially in Hollywood, it's like, shut the fuck up.

Don't say anything. Yeah. Listen. Yeah. And don't get yourself in trouble. Right. Well, I think that's everyone's biggest fear is somehow getting in trouble for saying something or whatever. Yeah.

You know, and it's because it's just so sensitive right now. Like, I think a perfect example is this Aziz Ansari thing. Yeah. You know, I mean, everyone's scared to say anything about it at this point. Did you watch SNL this last week? They have a great bit where it's like a dinner party and someone brings up Aziz Ansari.

Oh, yes, I saw this. And everyone's like... Yes, I love that skit. It was... Careful! Careful! Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was so... It was great. It was the Careful. Careful. Yeah. Yeah. It was so.

It was great. It was the best one I thought of the whole night. Yeah. And it was because it was so true. I know. Can I say one thing that I didn't. This is going to come across weird, but I had the thought and I feel like I just wanted to put it out there in the universe.

The Women's March thing. And I realize that kind of the genesis of this whole thing last year was the fact that we elected Donald Trump. And it was a guy that like a lot of women are very much against because there's a lot of allegations out there. And like that was like the beginning of it. Yeah. At the Women's March, though, and there's so much anti-Trump stuff going on there. And I understand fully, completely. But I don't know if that's like the rallying cry that people should have only because it excludes a lot of people from the conversation. Yeah. My mother is a Trump supporter.

Okay? Okay. I mean, I can't say anything. Yeah. I mean, I know a lot of people that are. We live in Tennessee, dude. Like a lot of people here. A lot of bumper stickers that say Trump. Exactly. Which is fine. Like that's your woman. I know a lot of people that are. Yeah. We live in Tennessee, dude. Like a lot of people here. A lot of bumper stickers.

It's like Trump. Exactly. Which is fine. Like that's your politics. Yeah. What I didn't love about the thing is the movement should be about bringing everyone together. Right. Not just women.

Not just liberal women. Yeah. It should be women, Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, freaking Independent. It should be men. It should be everyone together being like, it's kind of fucked up that women don't get paid the same as men to be fair you know yeah it's kind of fucked up that like women have to like worry about what they're wearing when they go outside because they don't want to be like perceived in a certain way like all those things and i don't know my point is my point is is that it should be a movement of inclusion and there was this one part that

seemed very exclusive and i didn't i think that that's where there's a problem. Right. I don't know. What do you think? Do you think I'm wrong there? I don't. And I also, for me, I wish all of this, instead of shining a light on actors and Aziz's situation, I wish it would shine more of a light on the sex trafficking problem.

You know what I mean? If we're going to start this whole thing about women empowerment and women standing up for themselves and not feeling like objects, not feeling like whatever, let's talk about the sex trafficking problem in the United States. You know what I mean? Because the movement right now

for the Me Too movement and Time's Up movement is massive. What you're saying is you wish that the sex trafficking situation was on the same level of exposure? Okay, I agree with that. Let's take this and turn it to try to fix that.

We got serious in this podcast. I know. Let's stop. Let's read Twitter. Okay, I think this is an Ask Wells. Okay. What is one thing that you couldn't live your daily life without, not including food or water or phone?

No basic answers, basically. You can't say food or water or phone, and you can't say Carl. That's what she said. I can't say Carl? She said that. Oh, God. I was going to say Carl. Uh-huh.

What's one thing you can't live without? My family. She put that you can't say fam, friends, or Carl. Oh. Not a basic answer. Not a basic answer? Not a basic answer. I love my car.

Clearly, you waited around to get the boot off when there's this thing called Uber or like whatever. It's not even. Can't live without your car. That sounds so guy-y. But my car is so cool. And it's like such a. I get that.

I identify with it so much. You know what I'm shocked you didn't say, which would actually probably be my answer. What? Music. Yeah. If I didn't have any music all day long, I think I'd go crazy. Oh, that's a good one. I listen to it all the time.

Yeah. In the house, in the car, in the shower. That's a good freaking answer. I know. You're welcome. Yeah. In the house, in the car, in the shower. That's a good freaking answer. I know. You're welcome. You beat me. You can say it next time. Ask Wells, what's your advice to someone who wants to be on The Bachelor?

How does one appeal to producers? This is a great question because I have a friend that I nominated, so tell me what I need to do to get him on the show. Oh, God. How did you get on the show? Yeah, that's the thing. I didn't go about it the normal way. What's that mean?

Is there a normal way anymore? I don't even know. Because a lot of people say that. I didn't get on the thing. I didn't go about it the normal way. What's that mean? Is there a normal way anymore? I don't even know. Because a lot of people say that. I didn't get on the normal way. Well, maybe there is no normal way. Yeah, I mean, I've been with producers who we've been out. Because you become friends with the producers, right? Yeah.

So we've been out at bars. Because when I go to LA, I go see them. I will watch someone in the corner of the room and be like, that guy would be good on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette or whatever. And they'd be like, you're right. And then the producer would go up and be like, here's would be good in The Bachelor or The Bachelorette or whatever. And they'd be like, you're right. And then the producer would go up and be like, here's my card. Call me. I want to talk to you.

Or you'll see someone who's drawing a lot of attention and everyone's like, oh my God, who's this guy? That's how it happened for my brother. So my whole thing was is that my brother is a larger-than-life guy. Everyone loves him. He was at a bar in LA and a casting director came up to him and was like, I don't know who you are but everyone seems

to fucking love you and I want you on The Bachelor here's my card we want you to be on The Bachelor and he turned it down but my brother's one of those guys that like never

burns a bridge never loses a friend that's smart and so when I became single whatever it was two years ago he was like

you gotta go he's like I got my friend Melissa still is one of the casting directors you wanna go do on the show and I was like yeah okay so then he sent an email and then she was like now go through the normal route and so i had to make a video here's my funny story about the bachelor is because you know you need to like make a video and you need to answer all these questions and

they sent me that thing and it was like attached is all the things you need to address in your video and we need it by midnight tonight or something there was like some deadline there was no attachment on it and so i kept responding being like there's no attachment i don't know what you want me to do over and over again and no one responded to me so i was like fuck it if the deadline's at midnight i'm gonna make the video myself so i just sat there like selfie style and did my i have my video somewhere we've got to put that out god we got to release that is it on youtube i've got to release that. Is it on YouTube? I've got it somewhere. It's just me sitting on my couch. A lot of people

put production into it. I feel like I heard Ashley talk about hers and it sounded absurd. Hers was so absurd I'm surprised that they cast her to be honest with you. That's why I mean there's not a normal. Different people got on different ways.

Straight up mine was like, hey this is me. This is who I am. This is what I do. I remember Carl walked i'm straight up mine was like hey this is me this is who i am this is what i do i remember carl walked in the background i was like that's my dog like he's pretty badass and then like i went like interviewed carl and i was like carl tell the bachelor people hey and he's like hey guys and now then i walked outside and i was like that's my car i've been i've been fixing this up for a while okay so just super authentic yeah i was just like this is me the whole fucking point of the show is to get into relationships. So they want to believe that's what you want. Right.

I had just gotten out of a four-year relationship. I was super raw, and I was tired of going on dates and always failing. And I was like, you know what? If it hasn't been working the normal way, let's try this fucking way. That was my whole pitch. You know what? If it works out, then I'll get a girlfriend out of the deal. If it doesn't, I'll get a cool

story, I guess. And look at you now. I know. I got a cool story. Yeah, you do. I'm telling it. And a cool girlfriend. I know. Won that one. Somebody asked about, do you have any big Valentine's Day plans? I know we talked, so you're going to fly out to LA. Is there something planned when you get there? Obviously, you don't have to tell us what it is, but do you have something planned

or are you just winging it, or you're like, yeah, I'm flying out. It's good enough. One of the first weekends away we took was to this little town outside of Santa Barbara. So now it's the place that we go. So you'll probably do that? Yeah.

Cute. It's more of just like, I got to get a Valentine's Day gift, which I get. Let's talk about that. Yeah. What do you get for a Valentine's Day gift? How big do you go? How much do you spend?

Does it depend on how serious the relationship is? Like, do you think, like, what you do and get her for Valentine's Day reflects how serious you are? Okay, so here's my thought on a lot of gifts, but especially for Valentine's Day. I think sentimentality is the important thing. Right. I would agree. Especially with Valentine's Day. Yep.

Like, I don't know, like a really Written note Might be all you really need to do And like a nice dinner Problem with I have with Sarah Is that Sarah's a person That doesn't need anything Right So I really gotta go

Harden the pain On sentimentality And creativity and shit You know Yeah But I think that For Valentine's Day I would like

Go outside the box Of the normal stuff Like you can do flowers Or whatever My thing is If you can make them cry Like in a good way Like a good cry.

I don't cry ever, so. Ever? I have a hard time with that. I really hardly ever cry. I did get a little emotional, though, during watching the X Games. Let's talk about the X Games. Been watching it. You have?

Sports make me emotional. I don't know what it is. It's like these kids are so young, and they've worked their whole lives, and here they are in front of everybody on television, and they have one shot. And then I just get emotional when they like kill it and I get sad and they don't. I don't cry though.

I just in my inside I feel like I could cry but I don't. What makes you cry? Nothing. Nothing. I really hardly ever cry. Dude I cry all the time.

I'm not a crier. All the freaking time. I wish I could be. Like Olivia cries every episode of This Is Us. Like she'll sit on my couch and just bawl and I'm like how?

I want to cry. Can we talk about This Is Us real quick? Yeah. I've never watched a show but. What? I know. But the main guy. You gotta watch. Jack. Jack. Jeff. Milo. Jeff. Jack. Yeah but his real name is Milo. Got a mullet. Ventimiglia.

This is gonna sound rude. Just wanna. Oh boy. Does he have a dip in his mouth all the time? I don't think so. He's got. His lips always like. He's like he wants to take a dip. Really? You've never seen this? Yeah but I don't pay attention to that. Here's what I think. You think he's doing that as part of his character? No I always like, he's like, I'm about to take a dip. Really? You've never seen this? Yeah, but I don't pay attention to that. Here's what I think. You think he's doing that as part of his character?

No, I think that he fell off his bike when he was a kid and hurt his lip. I don't remember him doing that in Gilmore Girls. He used to be in Gilmore Girls. Wow. He was Jess. He was the hottie Jess. I do love me some Gilmore Girls, dude. Right?

How do you not remember him then? I don't. Classic. What did you think about the Gilmore Girls reunion series? I didn't watch it. It wasn't as good. Of course not. It was not as good.

Of course not. No, this is us. I feel like you should watch it. I feel like you'd like it. You're a crier. For sure. I got a little bored with the beginning of season two, but now I'm back in. I'm back on board.

Oh, Olivia just asked a question. Have I ever farted on an airplane? Olivia Caridi? Yeah. She loves to fart everywhere. Not only on airplanes. I know. I saw one of your freaking Insta stories where she farted.

Yeah, in my car. Oh my God. I don't need to see that. That video was one of my most popular Instagram story videos. I bet. She farts all the time. She's going to be so mad that I'm even talking about it right now. She really, truly does.

I do not fart on airplanes. I don't either. I go on fart walks. We've talked about this. Oh, yeah. I'm a big fart walk guy. I'm not somebody that just. I don't either. I go on fart walks. We've talked about this. Oh, yeah. I'm a big fart walk guy. I'm not somebody that just farts uncontrollably. I can always control it.

Do you want to hear a funny story, though? Sure. About airplanes with me? Oh, yeah. Okay. I thought this was totally normal. Okay. No joke.

And then when I told someone finally, they were like, what the fuck is wrong? They were like, no. No. So, for whatever reason, when the plane takes off, I get boners 100% of the time. And I always thought- What do you mean? I get a boner when we take off. What do you do?

I just like tuck it in the belt thing or whatever. And I always just thought, this is what I always thought. In the belt thing? Yeah. Oh my God. That's what guys, by the way, that's what guys do. Well, I know, but like on a plane, that's crazy. So I always thought it was because of like the altitude and the pressure change like something was

happening. You thought every guy in the plane was getting hard as we go into the air. The way this started was I was like telling a story and I was like you guys know like when you're taking off in a plane like everyone's a boner and they're like wait what? I'm like yeah you know like the plane takes off and like you get a boner because like the altitude change and they're like

that's not a thing. That's not a thing. Really? Why does this happen to you? I still have the theory that it's the altitude change 100 they're like, that's not a thing. That's not a thing? Really? Why does this happen to you? I still have the theory that it's the altitude change 100% of the time. Every time? 99% of the time I get boners. This sounds like it's so much of a problem. Have you tried to think of something that would make you not have one? I don't know.

I think it's a lot of things. How, if you're the only one doing it? Usually I get on flights in the morning. Do you know how many girls are going to be so pumped at the thought of, I'm on a plane and Wells is on a plane somewhere and he has a boner. It's true. Yeah, it's not a pleasure boner. It's like morning wood.

Oh my God. That's what it's like. And that's what I think it is. That's so weird. I know. So no, Olivia Caridi, I don't fart because I got a freaking big old boner going on. That's insane. So tomorrow.

I will have a boner. I think tomorrow you should have an experiment and think of something. Like grandma. That would really turn you off. Yeah. Yeah. Because I want to know. That's so weird.

We need to start a Twitter poll out there if you've ever had a boner at takeoff. Let's see if anyone else has this issue. Yeah, I got to think that more people. I'm going to start a Twitter poll out there if you've ever had a boner at takeoff. Let's see if anyone else has this issue. Yeah, I gotta think that more people. I'm gonna start a Twitter poll. Alright. Do you like Ari as The Bachelor?

Okay, I kind of do like him as The Bachelor because I kind of like the way he handles himself on The Bachelor. However, I am not attracted to Ari in any way, shape, or form.

His looks and sounds and just mannerisms are very feminine to me and I'm not into that. I kind of agree with that. But I like, like, last form. His looks and sounds and just mannerisms are very feminine to me, and I'm not into that. I kind of agree with that. But I like, like, last episode, it was actually my favorite episode in a while on this season, when frickin' Crystal tried to pull that childish, immature, I'm not going, I want him to come chase me, bullcrap, and he came upstairs.

He was like, he didn't feed into it at all. Like, I hate that he even went up there. I'm sure the producers made it, but he went up there and he was like I don't like the way you're making me look and you need to stay up here while everybody else goes downstairs and hangs out with me and just know that I'm not happy. That's like what he said and I was like yes! Yeah I like that too.

And then I didn't like it when he still gave her the rose. I know but like I know. Why do you think he did that? You think they're asking him to keep her around? I've heard they don't do that but it's kind of hard to think I don't know. Yeah do you think he did that? You think they're asking him to keep her around? I've heard they don't do that, but it's kind of hard to think they're not like, yeah, just keep her. I mean, she's definitely going on a two-on-one, right? Well, that's what Olivia, who knows best, tweeted. That girl ain't going home until the two-on-one.

Yeah, so I don't know. I don't think they're like, hey, you got to keep her around because of ratings. I don't think they're doing that. But it might be like she's got a good date coming up that, you know. Yeah. I just I was shocked that like that Mikkel girl came back just to be sent home. I know. That was like my one thing on Drunk Snapchat.

I was like, Ari was able to make the girl whose grandpa died feel a little bit worse, which is impressive. Well, yeah. And like if I were him, I would have kept her in St. Crystal home. Like I would have been like, all right, Crystal's psychotic. We've seen her true colors. Bye. Let's give Mikkel a chance who I haven't gotten to know because she's been gone.

You know what I mean? Also, Mikkel's hot. Yeah, really hot. You know? And like, that shows dedication that she's like, I'm coming back. Yeah. I think they played that one wrong. I think that Ari should have been like, okay, I will keep Crystal around because she's amazing

television, whatever. But I want another Rose because I want to at least give this girl another week. Yeah. I think so too. That was the only thing I was bummed about last episode. Otherwise, I thought it was a great episode. Crystal's insane. Obviously, I hate saying anything negative about people because,

especially now with Olivia, it's like Olivia came off so terrible on The Bachelor. Yeah. And now she's one of my best friends. So it's hard to watch Crystal and be like, oh, that's really how she is when she may not be. But honestly, I think Crystal looks way worse than like Corinne ever looked, Olivia ever looked,

or any of these other like quote unquote villains that they make on the show. Crystal is just the freaking worst. I don't really think that Olivia was a villain. But that's what everyone calls her. The villain from Ben's season. You know, that's what people know her as. She, I don't remember her being the villain.

This girl is great though, man. Crystal? Crystal is great. She's insane. She's insane. So who, Who's the front runner? No.

Oh. On three, who's the two on one? Who's the other girl that's gone? Oh, oh God. I need a cast list in front of me. Who's left? You got young Becca.

Young freaking Becca. Tia. Becca might be the one on the two-on-one. CN. Love CN. I like Tia, but not Ferrari. Who else we got? Lauren B is my fart-owner right now.

Love her. Is she the one that did the cheer? Yes. She's blonde, beautiful, kind of quiet. Can we talk about, by the way, that they're ripping off Big Lebowski that entire episode? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They were having him do John Turturro's character? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everybody else was tweeting this, too. Oh, okay. Because John Turturro's character is a pedophile in that movie. Yeah. And they have him being- I know. You said it, man. Nobody fucks with Jesus.

Nobody. Anyways, I thought that was really funny. Okay, Lauren B., the other Becca. Who else? There's another Becca? There's two Beckas. There's a bunch of people. The other Becca's also quiet.

This last episode I was watching, I was like, half these girls, I don't know who they are. Okay, I love Sien, but I don't think her and Ari have chemistry from what I can tell on television. Yeah. My front runner for Ari is Lauren B., for sure. Who do I think's going to go on the two-on-one? Do you want to do this? One, two, three. Becca.

Yeah. Okay. 100%. 100%. Because she's the one that three. Becca. Yeah. Okay. 100%. 100%. Because she's the one that confronts Crystal. Yeah. She's the only one that confronts Crystal. I tell you what, I was kind of hard on Becca in the beginning.

I know, me too, but I'm really liking her right now. I'm kind of liking her. Me too. I got a feeling she's going to switch around and be bad, but she's just very wise for her young age. I mean, she is. I just like that she just kind of says it like it is and doesn't take it too seriously

like everyone else takes this very seriously and I'm not saying they shouldn't they're all here to you know get married so it's said but I do like that

she's like a little bit more less uptight than everybody else I'm excited to do Paradise again this year are you for sure going? I don't know if I'm for sure going

but if I am the bartender again this year I'm excited to do it because it's going to be a different I'm excited because I'll be the co-bartender. Exactly.

Hey, bartender. Can that be our theme song? No. What about Mr. Bartender, Mr. DJ? All right, that one. Who sang that? Sugar Ray?

Yeah, that makes sense because you're the DJ and I'm the bartender. Yeah! Hey! Call on. Because in the past, I knew all these people.

Paradise needs a DJ. Except they can't play music on TV, I forgot. Yeah. That's a problem. But in the past, I knew all these people. Paradise needs a DJ. Except they can't play music on TV, I forgot. Yeah. That's a problem. But in the past, I knew all these people, right? So I'd say stuff on Snapchat, and for people that didn't know me, they might think I was being mean, but people that knew me, they were like, oh, it's Wells, whatever.

I think for this new crop of people, they don't know me from Adam, and they're going to be like, Wells is a dick. Yeah. Or like, he doesn't like me. That's possible. Like, I remember Corinne coming up to me last year and she was like, I'm scared to talk to you because I don't think you like me. And I was like, what are you talking about?

Like, you made my life so much better. Yeah. But here's the thing that I'd like to say to all of those people that if I do come across them in Mexico, you realize that like myself or Brandy or whoever talking about you is the best possible thing. The best. Even if we're saying bad things about you. Bad press is good press.

It's all good. I'll tell you what people don't remember. They don't remember the person that no one remembered when the show was fucking happening. It's so true. So I have a feeling that people are going to come at me with a little bit of vitriol. And I'm going to be like, listen, I got you here. Yeah. vitriol.

I got you here. I promise you me making fun of you on Snapchat got you more followers and a couple more dollars for your FabFitFun box. Speaking of FabFitFun, wait, pause. If you got to handpick a few people from our season that go,

who would you want to be in Paradise? I freaking loved Bibiana. I think she's a shoo-in. Although, isn't she a winner games? She's winner games. Who would you want to be in Paradise? Okay, I freaking loved Bibiana. Yep. I think she's a shoo-in. Although, isn't she in Winter Games? She's in Winter Games. So maybe not.

But yeah, Bibiana would be great. Because she's like the Cardi B of the castler. That's a great compliment. I need to have her come down the Paradise steps and Chris be like, Bibiana! And her be like, I'm ready to go! I really liked her this season. Yeah. I mean, I gotta see Crystal her would be like, I'm ready to go. I really liked her this season. Yeah.

I mean, I got to see Crystal there. That's what I was going to say. Yeah. Also, it's a little bit different beast, right? Because you're in bathing suits, right? So there's people that are super good in bathing suits. Yep. And I feel like that Crystal girl, she's like a yoga teacher.

She's a fitness coach. I'm sure she's going to look great. She'll look good, yeah. I feel like Tia could be a good shoe-in. Tia might be engaged right now. I don't think so. No. I don't think so. No? I don't think so.

Nope. Also, to me, I can't listen to Tia talk and not think it's Raven. I know. So to me, and Raven did so well on Paradise and was the gem of Paradise. I feel like Tia will go and be the new Raven. Yeah. There are very few people. Tia's really pretty.

Of course. She's beautiful. She really is. The first couple nights, I thought she was a little basic, but the more I watch her, I'm like, she's stunning. She's very pretty. Yeah. She sounds exactly like-

Just like Raven. There are very few people like Raven. I'm telling you, Raven is a fucking spitfire. Is she still with Adam? Yeah. I think they're so cute. They are cute. They are cute.

It's so funny because on Rachel's season, I thought Adam was blah. I'm like, why is he still here? He's so nerdy. Why? Get him out of here. And now, for some reason, now when I see him with Raven, he seems so much more confident. And this is all over freaking photos and Instagram videos, whatever. But he seems very confident now.

And the two of them together, they just look great and they just seem great together. And I don't know. That's been good for him. Raven's good for him. If you date a freaking smoke show, then your confidence goes up. It goes up. That's how it works. Wells can relate.

That's my life right now. Are you kidding me? I don't know. James Corden thought you were pretty smoking, too. I know, right? I saw that clip. Speaking of FabFitFun. Yeah, you want to do that?

Yeah, because I walked into the studio today, and Wells was like, you smell like something. And I was like, what do I smell like? And he was like, give me a second. Do you think I should say something mean? What? Yeah, I was like, oh, here we go. He was like, you smell like essential oils. And when he? Yeah, I was like, oh, here we go. He was like, you smell like essential oils. And when he said it, I was like, I know what it is.

So I rode three horses today. Usually I just ride two, and even that's like one up from my usual one. So I rode three horses today, and I'm so sore. So in the quick 15 minutes I had at home, I took a bath and used the muscle soak from my FabFitFun box. And it's amazing. Muscle soak. And apparently it makes me smell good like essential oils. It does. Yeah, thanks. Well, got it in my FabFitFun box, and it's amazing. Muscle Soak. And apparently it makes me smell good like essential oils. It does.

Yeah, thanks. Well, got it in my FabFitFun box. They're pretty dope. Wells gets his and gives all of his stuff to Sarah and then regrets it and wants it back. He told me that in the stairwell. That's true. But they're great. They come with all these different things.

If you're a girl, you know, the hair and makeup and beauty products, skin care products are all huge wins. But they also come with stuff like I got a really cool, really soft throw slash blanket. I'm sure a guy would be down to throw over his leather sofa at his batch pad. They're great. And they're also cool to give as gifts if you ever wanted to do that. For guys, just straight up, Valentine's Day is around the corner. This is not the worst thing to give a girl. But it's all stuff for women, and then there's a necklace in there.

Oh, you could totally give that as a gift. You could totally pull that out before she opens it and be like, this is a different gift. That is so, so good. Yeah, they're great. All the boxes have a value of over $200, but it retails for $49.99. And guess what? If you use the coupon code WELLSTEN, you get $10 off your first box.

You can get it at fabfitfun.com. Boom. Do it. I would just like to say that I was right about something. Oh, what were you right about? I don't know if you remember, but it was like one of the first, one of the earlier episodes. We were talking about our favorite music, and I was like, the new Jason Isbell record, Nashville Sound is a beautifully written record, and I guarantee you he's going to win some fucking Grammys this year.

Did he win a Grammy? Two of them. No way. Yeah. That's amazing. For, I think, Best Folk Song. Wow. Which was Vampires, which is an amazing song.

Great song. That was on This Is Us. It was on This Is Us. It was on This Is Us. And then he won for Americana Record. That's amazing. Love Jason Isbell. You were also right about Back to the Future. I don't know if I can pull it up now.

It's been so long. But I did do an Instagram poll. And to be fair, it was sort of close. No, it wasn't. Yeah, it was like 42% hadn't seen it. But it was like 60-whatever else has seen it. What's your favorite movie of all time? Romeo and Juliet.

The Baz Luhrmann. Baz Luhrmann? Yep. That's a good one. Edit. That is the one thing that makes me cry. Really? Every time I cry.

Leo. He's just so emotional. Go girl. Seek happy days through happy nights. It's a great one. What other Baz Lerman's? I hated his Gatsby impersonation. I loved Gatsby. I still watch it all the time. It's no

Romeo and Juliet. No. What about Moulin Rouge? I didn't love that one either. It was okay. Like, Baz Lerman's best is definitely, I'll give you that one. That one's so good. My favorite. I could watch it. I've seen it 8 million times. I could watch it 8 million times. I used to have a huge Claire Danes thing going on. Yeah.

Huge. What was the show she was on? Homeland? No. Oh. Because it was so good for the first couple seasons. My So-Called Life. Oh, I never watched that.

You're probably a little too young for it. I know. Everyone thought I was Noah at my gig last week. I was like flattered. I'm 18. Yes. Yeah. Also, I got asked if I was a flattered. I'm 18. Yes. Yeah. Also, I got asked if I was a student today.

Good for you. Yeah. Feeling it. Yeah. All right. You know who else is feeling themselves lately is my mother. Yeah. Do you follow Miley at all?

I follow your mother. Oh, you do? Miley posted the most insane photo of her on Twitter. I'm going to pull it up for you. Yeah. It really is. I know everyone says it all the time, your mom's so hot, blah, blah, blah.

She is hot. But it's unreal how hot she is. I mean, she is almost 51. This is her with no makeup, hair up. How is she that hot? It's like a fluke of nature. Hashtag no fucking filter. Yeah, it's crazy to me how hot she is.

Like I can only hope at 50 to look even like a tenth as good as my mother. That's a great pick. I'm going to wade through these waters quite carefully. Don't think of this on the airplane tomorrow. Whatever you do. I feel like that's where we got to cut right there. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.