Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Wellscome to Paradise!

Episode Date: August 18, 2021

Wellscome to Paradise, the REAL happiest place on Earth, because we all know Disneyland is not it. Brand-eye and Wells recap the premiere of Bachelor in Paradise and reveal all their thoughts and behind the scenes info on who Wells hung out with the most, who Brandi would get with down on the beach, and why ankle socks should absolutely never be worn with sandals... sorry, sad boy Joe. While we did get to see Wells on our screens this week (I mean, at least more than usual), he fills us in on what ended up on the cutting room floor and why the entire cast thinks he is pretty much a bully. The co-hosts come up with the plot of a hot new reality show that we’re going to make Tish get involved with ASAP, and Brandi gives us an update on a non-reality show she’s binging that is such old news that Wells can’t even remember the plot. Plus, the two have some very concerning conversations about how rollercoasters were likely invented and why Wells is convinced there are only three food categories (he’s wrong). Wells and Brandi are switching coasts and heading out on vacays, but they’ll be with you same time next week, YFTers. Until then, comment on IG to tell us the right way to cut our toenails and share your favorite Disney rides!   Don’t forget to rate, review, and follow Your Favorite Podcast! Plus, keep up with us between episodes on our Instagram page, @yftpodcast.   Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers:  Nutrafol — Go to nutrafol.com and enter promo code YFT to save $15 off your first month’s subscription plus free shipping on every order (US customers only, for a limited time)  Just The Tipsy — Shop Just The Tipsy at tipsybrand.com.21+  Hello Tushy — Go to hellotushy.com/YFT to get 10% off plus free shipping   SKYN — Shop SKYN.com and get free shipping on orders over $30 in the contiguous US or explore SKYN on Amazon now.  Greenchef — Go to GreenChef.com/yft100 and use code yft100 to get $100 off including free shipping  

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print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code YOURFAVORITETHING to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code YOURFAVORITETHING. Do it. Okay. thing. Do it. Okay. It is early. The day after BIP. A little hungover. Let's call Brenda. Hi. What's up? Oh, nothing. I feel like your hair is looking awfully curly these days. I mean, it's always curly. Did you get the curl defining cream I told you about?

Yeah, I put that in my hair. It didn't do anything. Oh, I was thinking maybe that was why your hair was looking so curly. No, it's just kind of long. My barber's got fucking COVID. No. I don't know what to do because we're going on a vacay at the end of the week. What?

Where are you going? We're going to the islands. Oh, I've been there. You have? Yeah, I loved it. I went in January,uary i think is it the tits it's pretty cool but i think i'm just gonna have like kramer hair when i'm there or i'm gonna go to like just a straight up barber and just and just pray to all the gods that they don't fuck this up that's a pretty long flight for you right how long is that i mean we got to go to miami oh and that place is real non-covid right now i'm sure um so i'm gonna be double masking that bitch up and then um they say yeah i don't know if i fly to miami then we get on a

i'm sure a little puddle jumper yeah hold on your nutsack. This thing might go down over the beautiful blue waters. Oh, my God. But I'm excited because, like, we need, your boy needs a break. A break? Well, I'm sure. And actually. Working hard down there in Mexico this summer. Yeah, exactly.

And actually, if I'm being fair, Sarah needs a break more than I do because she was in Ireland and then in Toronto. Then she had to work this past weekend. This is a restart. Wow. Well, I'm also going on vacation next week. Where are you going? I'm going to Cabo.

We're trading coasts. Okay. Yeah. And we're bringing my brother and his wife and another couple of friends. Yeah, that'll be great. And they have this cute little island that you boat to from the hotel and then you're the only ones on it and you get to hang out all day. It's awesome. Oh, really?

Also, we, I mean, it's a little bougie, but it was worth it. It was the coolest thing we did. We took a helicopter to a neighboring island and got to like tour the volcano from the helicopter. What? Very cool. Okay. Loved that. Very cool.

Okay. Loved that. And then the other thing we did that was just like so fucking great was you can go swing, swing, swim with stingrays and hold them in your arms. Wow. In the water. It's very cool. I mean, the ghost of Steve Irwin would not appreciate this adventure. Why not?

Because Steve Irwin was killed by a stingray. These stingrays are nice. They're not the murdering kind? I don't think so. I held one and I was terrified, but they were nice to me. All right. And you like hold them in their natural habitat. You know, it's not like a zoo.

It's like you go out into the middle of the freaking ocean and they have this like section where they know they all come to eat and you get in the water in their ocean and you just hold the local guys. All right. They're actually very large, but yeah. What are you going to Cabo for? It's called Modal East Magazine. That's who I went to Antigua with, actually.

Okay. So it's like a girls' trip, like a bunch of influencers, and we just go and hang out on the beach and take pretty pictures, and it's going to be great. Okay, okay. I think we should maybe start the show.

You want to do it? I think so. Is it you or me? I think it might be you. Bros and hoes. You're listening to your favorite thing podcast with Wells and Brandy. About to go on vacation.

You want to start BIP or do you want to end BIP? I think maybe start. Okay. That's good. A lot to unpack. Your boy's got nothing else, really. Oh, great. Really got nothing else. Well, okay.

Let's see here. You didn't get a lot of screen time. Yeah. Not as much as I was hoping. Well, we didn't get to a rose ceremony. Yeah, I guess that was part of it. Listen, David Spade. Yeah.

It's not that I dislike him. Okay. I don't. Don't dislike him at all. Funny guy. Loved his movies back in the day. But is it just me or was it just a small bit creepy, some of the things he was saying to the women when they walked in.

There is a part of me that wants David to shed the celebrity host for the week and then just just come in and be a part of it. Because I do think that like I think you could get some roses. Oh, my God. You know, I mean, I think he was really liking some of the things he was seeing. Well, I mean, he's a single man. How old is he? I don't know. The same age as Kenny, probably.

Oh, my God. I don't know. I was thinking he's, like, looking like my dad's age. Who do you think that he had his eye on then? Well, he definitely said something crazy to Victoria. Like, you're in great shape. Yeah. And the way he says it, too. It's with a soft voice. Well, he definitely said something crazy to Victoria. Like, you're in great shape. Yeah.

And the way, it's the way he says it too. It's with a soft voice. It's very creepy to me. The you're in great shape comment freaked me. He also said something creepy to Demi. And Demi's so hot. Like, I get it. But it was, oh, the whole bit with Kelsey and the champagne.

Yeah. Like, I'm sorry. It was too much for me. It was too much for me. Like if Nick Viall was standing there saying those things to Kelsey, okay, hot, we get it. Like whatever. But like David Spade, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The whole bit with the champagne, I was, you know, watching off screen and I'm like, do you guys want some help opening champagne? I can do this job for you.'m the bartender but actually it was really funny that they couldn't fucking do it i did enjoy it they cut so much of everything that i had done for the intro so like you know how everyone had kind of like uh this is what i've

been up to and like they're like packing segments and like whatever yeah like for queen victoria sorry goddess victoria uh she was like laying in a pool on like a fun boy blow up thing in her fucking crown and bejeweled face bedazzled face and they had me walk in the pool with a full suit on but they didn't have this was my this was my idea i was like it'd be so funny because they were like you're gonna have you bring her a drink. And I was like, it'll be funnier if I walk in the pool. Like, you know? So I walked in the pool, full fucking Tom Ford suit on. And I'm.

Oh, my God. I'm annoyed. You wore the Tom Ford suit for that? Yes. I am annoyed because I thought for sure that would make air. Because it was such a good bit. And so, like, yeah, I present her with this drink. And I go, for the queen.

And she goes, it's goddess now, bitch. And then I go like, oh, and then I like slowly back away while doing this thing with my hand, like as if I'm like a surf to the queen, you know, I get it. And it was so funny. And they cut that. We did this whole bit. Ivan sleeps a lot. So like Ivan sleeping on the beach and I come and sneak up on him, tiptoeing like Pink Panther.

And I'm like hiding behind umbrellas and stuff, doing somersaults in the ground, like all like Mission Impossible style and wake him up. And that was funny. We did this whole bit with Carl. Because remember, I don't know if you remember, his whole thing was like he was like shadow boxing on katie's season being like oh you know whatever and so he's like doing all this karate so then he has me teaching me karate the whole thing with joe on the balcony overlooking you know the ocean and then obviously i did the thing with kelsey about like her fucking putting laxatives on her face that's the weirdest thing ever and that was the only thing they kept was the little face laxatives thing face laxatives i her face. That's the weirdest thing ever. And that was the only thing they kept was the little face laxatives thing. Face laxatives. I don't get that. Anyways, they didn't use any of

that stuff. And I'm like, motherfuckers, why did we do it? Why did I? I had to go early to film this stuff. I remember. And then they were like, we're not going to use it, whatever. And then we love to cut you. They do. Here's the thing. I was talking about it with Sarah last night. To be completely fair and to give them a little bit of props, they gave me more airtime than they did a lot of episodes last season, or last time we did BIP. Agree. But to be fair, Chris and I always kind of lamented on this as well,

was that we get cut out of BIP a lot. Chris even more so than me. There's like a weird media watch thing where they can do, they can track how many minutes of BIP a lot. Chris, even more so than me. There's like a weird like media watch thing where they can do, they can track how many minutes of screen time everyone gets. Oh, wow. And I would get more than Chris every episode

because I'd have like these long conversations whereas Chris would just come in and be like, let's, come on guys, we're going to go do a rose ceremony now. And I clink, clink, clink, you know, he just kind of does those things. We'd kind of be annoyed by the fact that we get chopped to the show. But the truth of the matter is the show isn't about us. You know, the just kind of does those things. We'd kind of be annoyed by the fact that we get chopped of the show.

But the truth of the matter is the show isn't about us. You know, the show is about people. And then when you bring in someone like Spade, who obviously is a big name and to be fair, the biggest name of all the celebrity guest hosts that we have this season, I would say no disrespect to Lance or Lil Jon or Titus, but I think he is. So then when you have that, the show still isn't about David Spade and like his crazy antics and his, you know, Carrie Underwood legs. The show is still about the people, but you have to put them on the screen because you

paid them a bunch of fucking money to come down there, you know? Right. And then, so then I'm at a disadvantage because it's like, well, they got to show a little bit of Spade because they're paying a bunch to be on these first couple episodes and then then show me it is what it is so i thought they for sure were gonna cut me giving the rules to everyone because i thought oh really yeah because everyone knows the rules like yeah but you did such a good job delivering them here's the thing it's so funny how it looks on tv and compared to real life because in real life they were like you need to be very serious here you're like do you know me yeah i'm like this they were like, you need to be very serious here.

You're like, do you know me? Yeah. I'm like, this is not my bit. You need to be really, really serious. You need to explain to them like the stakes of all of this. They kept using the word stakes. Like you need to explain to them that the stakes are very high. So I came in there and did that. And afterwards everyone was like, Jesus fucking Wells is mean dude. Like what's wrong? fucking Wells is mean, dude. Like, what's wrong? You know? Yeah. You were very serious.

I was. The problem with having, you know, a comedian as your host for the week, it's not serious, you know? And that's what I think Chris did a really good job of, was like equal parts funny, but then also like very serious. At the end of the season,

they were like, fucking Wells is mean. Because I would have to come in there and be like really, really especially like when you see rose ceremonies when shit goes down i have to be fucking mean to these people oh no i know so gone are the days of of puppets and had to explain everything that happened to Spade because he's just not there. Like, I was just like, okay, so this happened, this happened, this happened. And he's like, where were you, dude? What was he doing? He was in his hotel room. Just chilling?

It's a lot hotter than I think everyone thinks it is. I'm sure. True, like, movie stars like Spade. I think they're used to, like— They're not standing out there sweating. No, yeah. For longer than necessary. Yeah, they're used to, like, their trailer and, like, we'll call you when we need you.

And, you know, when you're filming a reality show, it's like you're there just all day. Oof. All right, quick PSA for those of you out there who rent. If you haven't heard of Built, you're about to thank me. Earning points on rent is now a reality when you pay your rent through Built. You don't even have to check with your landlord to start earning points that you can use towards flights, hotel stays, fitness classes, and even your next rent payment. All right, let me break it down for you. There's no cost to join Build, and as a member, you'll earn valuable points on rent and

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All right, guys, a lot has changed over the last years. And if you're growing your e-commerce business, yeah, you can relate. Whether you're looking for better efficiency during the hectic holiday season or your business has outgrown your old shipping solutions, you need ShipStation to help you scale your business. ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiency with a robust all-in-one fulfillment system that integrates with over 180 of the most popular e-commerce platforms, marketplaces, and carriers.

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Go to ShipStation.com and use code YOURFAVORITETHING to sign up for your free 60- day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com code your favorite thing. Do it. What was your favorite part of the episode? Yeah. Not that I want Joe to be sad, but I kind of love Joe's sad boy stuff. Like I'll kind of live for it. I'm kind of like, oh, I love that somebody is so sad already. It's a breath. I don't really understand. Like I get it.

Like Kendall, when all the memories are flooding back. Yeah. Whatever. I don't know if that's really true, but whatever. But I'm like, bro, why are you so sad so fast? Like, oh, no, you walked in and said you liked one girl and another guy liked her. And now you're devastated. Like, there's a ton of other girls.

I just don't know. But it was very entertaining. Him just fucking laying on that daybed, just miserable as fuck. And he's down there in paradise, which is funny to me. Also, when they called him out for his gym clothes. Yeah, yeah. It was just everything. Because it's true. Like me. Also, when they called him out for his gym clothes. Yeah, yeah. It was just everything. Because it's true. Like, what was he thinking?

Is that endearing to you as a viewer? Or is that like, whatever, dude, to you? What about his clothes? No, like being a sad sack. The whole thing. Because it's all the same bit, if you think about it. It's all self-deprecation. This worked for me once.

It's never going to work again. Brendan's better looking than i am so i'm fucked there all the emotions are coming back so i need to go be sad on the beach i didn't even get a haircut before this because i'm just like the lovable joe and like i didn't bring the right clothes because like i didn't even think you know like it's all the same self-deprecating i didn't think about it you know for sure listen it's fucking hilarious for episode one but he can't keep this up you know what for sure listen it's fucking hilarious for episode one but he can't keep this up you know what i mean or it's gonna get really annoying so he's gotta

change his tune we'll say this the the clothes thing that doesn't change like he just doesn't fucking have nice clothes i mean it can't like you only pack one bag you can't go shopping because you don't like your clothes i don't know if they'll ever show it but like people rip on him for like wearing a t-shirt to like rose ceremonies and stuff. And he's like, this is a $60 shirt. Like, yeah, it's a fucking T-shirt, bro. Oh, it's so good. I love it so much.

And he does wear like gym shorts, but then he'll be wearing like loafers. I made so much fun of him of the socks and the slides it was like you can't do this and he was like i'm getting eaten alive by mosquitoes and i don't want the sand between my toes here's my thing i like a tube sock with sandals i think it's a look an ankle sock with sandals yeah should never happen under any circumstances what is the point of that? Okay. So back to my original question though, is that whole lovable doofus thing endearing or not for you as a viewer? I think it's endearing right now,

but it's going to get annoying if it continues. You know what I mean? Like he can't be the victim the whole season or it's going to get annoying. Full transparency. I love Joe. Love Joe. He truly is a very sweet man in real life and very like unassuming and very authentic. I don't think he realized how how triggering coming back to that show is going to be for him. And so I do. I think he's coming at it honestly. Before he was like, it's fine.

You know, Kendall and I are in a good spot. I know this place works like I'm ready to have some fun. And then walking down there, it was very triggering for him. And like the whole like him sleeping on the beach. He did that all day. Everyone was talking about it. Crazy. Everyone was talking about it.

But what's funny is that, you know, he's like threatened by all these other guys. And I think they cut this. But I was like, I was like, Joe, you're the best looking guy on this beach by far says the bartender yeah i know but like i well he needs something to pump up his tires and that's what i'm there for he is cute and listen like all those other dudes are just fucking douchebags right like they're they're all players like they're fuck boys and joe i feel like of all of them joe's probably the least right he's like the good guy that's 35 and actually probably wanting to settle down and find somebody yeah i don't know i do think that he's got to go through a little bit of it he needs to do like he needs to like therapize himself a little bit and then like come out of the other end but

and then and i think i say this and let's see if it makes here I was like you know the only way to get over your ex to get under a new and so you know it seems like Serena likes him I mean she freaked when he said his age which yeah what a dumb girl like you want an older guy come on um come on but uh I don't know like obviously we've seen previews of of the rest of the season we know he sticks around. We know Kendall shows up. Like, obviously, his story, you know, this is only the beginning for Joe. So I think, obviously, he's going to stick around and be a big part of the season. And I do like Joe.

Like, I did his podcast. He's a super nice guy. Here for it. I'm team Joe. Yeah, same. We'll see how things work out for him. But I will say that I have a lot of conversations with Joe at the bar. Whether they make air, who knows?

I have to help our little grocery bitch out a lot. Can you pronounce his last name now? Amabile. No. Amabile? Amabile, yeah. You were close. You were close.

Yeah. You put like an accent on the end. Yeah. Amabile. Matt's put an E on the end. Say derte. Make it sound French. That was a David Spade reference, by the way.

I quoted his movies to him the entire time we filmed together. Did he hate that or love that? I think he loved it. I mean, the running joke was everyone that was on that beach except for Kenny and Joe are too young to really know his movies. Well, that one freaking girl called him Dave Chappelle Dave Chappelle which is hilarious moron it's like obviously what was funny about that is because she called him Dave and he was like oh we're so close you're giving me a nickname but no no she

thought you were Dave Chappelle which is why she called you Dave just lumping in every comedian ever into just that's Dave Chappelle okay so we did we did Joe who else is your favorite well my personal favorite yeah I was on that beach I would want to go on a date with Ivan no I love Ivan I do love did he go on a date no the only person I went on a date was Noah and Abigail Noah and Abigail which you know I'm not a big Noah fan, but they were pretty cute. Yeah. You know, like, it was fine. Like, I don't know. I don't know if that's her guy, but I thought it was cute. I love seeing

Abigail get some attention, get the spotlight, get a date. I think that was great for her because she's adorable. So Ivan likes Serena P. Who doesn't? All right. We get it. Serena P's hot. But there was somebody else I think he liked. Who was it? Maybe Jesenia?

Oh, yeah. Maybe Jesenia. And she's cute. Like, that could maybe work. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like Ivan's going to end up being a hot commodity as the weeks roll on. Yeah.

Can't wait for you to see what happens with my boy Ivan. Can't freaking wait. Love Ivan. Kenny's dick. What do we think? There's no way that was out. Zero chance. Yeah.

And wait, which girl was hanging with him? I think Mari and him. Oh, yeah. Him and Mari. I could see that. She's so pretty, but like maybe not super street smart kind of gal you know she is i would say probably the prettiest person on that beach you okay somebody said that on the show last night and i was watching this with a few girls and they were like what she's not even that cute so i

definitely think she's a like a guy's kind of girl you know what i mean she also is like a girl's kind of girl she's also the most naturally the most beautiful see i disagree i think that's starting to pee i'm sorry who let me just give her a compliment before i go in on her okay victoria yeah uh goddess victoria god going blonde was the best thing she's ever done yeah she looks great blonde i'll give her that there's a part of me that wishes that she ditched the i'm now the goddess thing i know and kept the i'm gonna come in here as the queen and tear shit up i agree because i you know i think she wants she wants her like redemption story i'll defend her she is a lot nicer in real life than she was portrayed. Who knows?

Maybe she has had like a complete, you know, personality reconstruction. But I enjoyed being around her. What about Tajwan and Trey? Oh, my God. That was the other thing. The fact that's what had me laughing the most. Every time her name popped up and underneath her freaking bio says dated Trey's uncle. I just lost it.

I was like like this poor girl has no clue that they're putting this under her name this is awful and I can just picture her like being like we went on one date like this girl from Mean Girls like it was one time but it's everything it's like the best storyline that's so far like the whole first episode oh yeah and trey over here is so precious and clueless that he's just like oh i know her she knows my uncle like does he even know they went on a date does she does he even know that she probably fucked his uncle like i don't think so i don't think he knows it's like x on the beach a couple seasons ago. Uncle fucker. I didn't fuck the uncle. I'm serious. You fucked the uncle.

Uncle fucker. He's insane. But I actually think they're really cute together. I really like Trey. I always liked him on whoever season he was just on. Yeah, I think he was on Katie's season. Katie's season. Thank you.

Yeah. Yeah. Trey's the best. Of the guys that I liked to hang out with the most, Trey Connor oh yeah oh that Connor yeah and then I was thinking hot Connor but he's not there no musician Connor cat guy Connor I know you don't like him you're gonna run into him in Nashville by the way then you're gonna have to you're gonna have to deal with that I'll just pretend like I have no idea who he is because I honestly probably won't recognize him. So it'll be fine. Taj Juan story arc.

The evolution of Taj Juan in Mexico is always the same. It's come down so pumped, so excited, and then slowly start devolving because you're sweating too much freaking out may have some sort of panic attack need the medic shout into the ocean completely lose it eat a bowl of spaghetti in the pool go home and this all happens usually within 22 hours. Honestly, sounds like me. I'm sweating. It's so hot. I gotta go.

I can't sleep here. I have to leave right now. That would be me. She's the most honest because that's what everyone would do if it wasn't being filmed and being on TV and like the motivation for sticking around or like you fall in love. Everyone would go there and be like,

fuck, that's so hot. I gotta go get to this give me some bolognese and i'm fucking leaving the spaghetti thing is the funniest thing and i hope she does it's so random it's first of all you're in mexico i know we're not in like lake como over here italian food isn't what this kitchen is set up for. Well, and honestly, when you're that hot and, like, spaghetti sounds like the worst thing to eat. Oh, I know. The worst. Ugh.

Yeah, so. She's funny, though. I like her. Yeah, I do, too. She's, she just needs to be there always. You know, the first episode always is, you just got to kind of, like, set the table with everybody. There was, like, no real footage of Victoria Paul, Victoria P.

Very little Kelsey footage. Very little Connor and Marissa connection. Yeah, I don't really care about that. Very little Jesenia. Very little Tammy. Oh yeah, I don't care about that either. Little Aaron, Box Guy James.

There's a lot more storylines that we didn't get to. You're right. You're right. There's a lot of people there. Yeah. But we set the table nicely with Joe Meltdown, Tajwan Meltdown, Abigail and Noah. We'll see what happens. Everybody wants Brendan.

Everybody wants Serena. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Oh, wow. Mm-hmm. Anything else? wants brendan everybody wants serena yeah blah blah blah blah blah anything else not about paradise i don't think yeah i feel like we did it i think we did it and you got any fave things bro f boy island have you finished are you caught up or no honestly like i hate saying it i really thought i would love it it's really not holding me yeah it's tough to watch i don't know why

because it's a great concept and I love Nikki Glaser and everything. I don't know. I think it's the guys are just so awful. Yeah. Well, it's about F boys. I know. But like some of them say they're nice guys, but no one's a nice guy. But also everybody on Twitter is like lit for it.

So I don't know. Can they do it the other way around? What's the girl version of a fuck boy? I don't know. But like, could they do the other way around where you have three guys and then a bunch of just like vapid Instagram hungry chicks? Because I think that that would be funnier because if The Bachelor has taught us anything,

The Bachelor is always better than The Bachelorette because guys tend to be cool with one another and girls tend to rip each other to shreds it's true and so yeah you're right i think the you know the f girl island is the play maybe that needs to be the season two i think so i'm on season four sex in the city oh my god have you seen sex in the city i yeah in. But like you watched all of it? No. All the seasons?

No. I just, I remember like the moments. And I know the characters' names. Have you gotten to Aiden yet? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Aiden was like season three. Yeah. I freaking love Aiden.

Yeah. Like Aiden's my kind of guy. You know what I'm saying? Loves his dog. Great hair. Very tall. Yeah. Very simple guy. Like I love that. Love that for me. You know what I'm saying? Loves his dog, great hair, very tall, very, very simple guy. Like, I love that. Love that for me, you know? All right. So I'm at the place where

big has divorced his like 20 year old freaking wife, you know? Yeah. And he and Carrie like had their little affair or whatever. And then she, you know, one didn't want to do that anymore. And now they're divorced. They're having this conversation about like soulmates, right? Because, you know, Charlotte's married, can't have sex with her husband because he can't get it up, which is insane. And Charlotte's like on this like whole train of soulmates. And Carrie doesn't say like, oh, Big was my soulmate. Like, you know, as much as like she, you know, Big was like her guy, like she's not sitting here saying like, he's my soulmate, you know, the one that got away or anything like that. But obviously we know that in the end, like it's still big, right? Everyone's seen the

fricking picture floating around where they're older and they're together and they're doing this remake third movie or whatever. So like, I feel like they are soulmates, but it's like fascinating to me that she doesn't realize that right now in season four. So my question is, does Aiden come back around, or this is the last we've seen of Aiden? I don't even remember. Last time I saw this, I was in high school. I love Aiden. I know.

He's the best. All right. Well, good luck with that. I don't know. I'll tell you. And big is just not it. I don't know. I just don't get it.

I guess he's got a big dick. I guess so. And I guess he's tall. Whatever. like, don't get it. I guess he's got a big dick. I guess so. And I guess he's tall. Like whatever. Height really blinds women. Let me tell you. It really does. Like why?

What is that? I don't understand. I'm like a little guilty of it. But like I have friends that are single and it's like, you know, they are when they meet somebody and they're going to tell you about him. Like first thing out of their mouth. He's really tall. Yeah. And you'll be like, you know, they are when they meet somebody and they're going to tell you about him, like first thing out of their mouth, he's really tall. Yeah. And you'll be like, okay,

cool. What else about him? And they'll be like, I don't know. He's got an okay job and like his friends are all right, but he's so tall. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's just like, are really like, that's all we care about. But it kind of is like, you can get away with a lot if you're fricking tall. Yeah. I just don't get it.

But I do. But like, I don't. Even girls that are like 5'1 are over here looking for a guy that's 6'2 and above. I know. Maybe the next reality show on the beach isn't F-Boy Island. It's let's bring in a bunch of like filthy, rich, great career short guys. Short guys, yeah. And then a bunch of tall dudes who have no ambition, have nothing going on in their life. Zero personality.

Zero personality and be like, let's just see what happens. Oh, my God. I think we should do that. Can we call Tish? Yeah. We got a show for you. Rich or tall, what do you want? I'm serious.

It's a thing. So we went to Disneyland the other day. You did? Yeah, I went to Disneyland. Sarah's parents are in town, and so her mom is celebrating a big birthday. So we went to Disneyland for her birthday. Fascinating. Disneyland is amazing, but also a really weird time to go during COVID, but whatever.

That's such a fucking well-oiled machine. but also really weird time to go during COVID, but whatever. That's such a fucking well-oiled machine. I'm always just like blown away with like how good they are at just, and also like just go to a Six Flags or something else to see like how something shouldn't be done in comparison to how something should be done. Like Disneyland is just like, everyone's so good. Every time I go to Disneyland, I'm like, don't ever want to have kids. The funny thing about Disneyland

is that it's a place for kids, but when I go there, I realized I would never take my kids there. Never. You know, it's supposed to be the happiest place on earth. For the parents, it looks like the seventh ring of hell.

You know? Yeah, I do. It's awful. You're trying to fucking snot nose kids everywhere. You got to wait in line. They're all so impatient and, you know, fucking just want to get on the Matterhorn. And everyone's sweating.

And the problem with Disneyland is now not in California land or whatever, but inside Disneyland proper, you can't get a drink. And all these parents are just like, I need a fucking shot and a beer and a kick in the nuts. Like, I got to do something because I'm losing my mind. Every time I'm there, I'm just like, my kids can go to Disneyland, but guess what? The nanny is taking them to Disneyland. I'm never taking a child to Disneyland in a million years. Or maybe when they're like 21. But here's something that I realized.

Do you think that roller coasters were invented by like the one guy that survived a runaway train? Everyone dies in a fiery massacre at the end of the train line when it derails and just bursts into flames. And there's one guy who was like, that was kind of fucking awesome, though. Tragedy aside, I get it. Like, oh, my heart goes out to all those families. But that was fucking fun. Let's do that again. How could we do this but not die

i mean probably it makes a lot of sense yeah uh honestly the roller coaster thing is very scary to me i'm not the biggest roller coaster guy i love roller coasters but i love the roller coasters that don't really go anywhere but make you feel like you're going somewhere the ones that got a big screen and like the kind of the seats move, you know, it's Universal Studios. There's a lot of- So a virtual rollercoaster? Yeah, but you know what I'm talking about?

Like, what's a good example of one? Well, have you been to Disneyland recently? Yeah, well, not recently, not in years. Well, have you done Soarin'? Oh yeah, see, that's virtual, yeah. Yeah, okay, so here are my favorite rides at Disneyland. Soarin'. Oh, yeah. See, that's virtual. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so here are my favorite rides at Disneyland. Soarin'. Okay.

I love Soarin', man. Okay, if you don't know what this is, it's like this huge IMAX screen, and they lift you up into this little seat, and it makes you feel like you're in a hang glider or an ultralight or something, and you're just soaring over all these crazy places on Earth, over Niagara Falls. What? You can smell stuff. No, I know.

And that's the best part. Exactly. It's so they puff in little smell clouds at your fucking face. And like you fly over orange groves and you can smell the oranges. Yeah. Or like when you go into Africa and there's all the elephants like kicking up dirt. You can smell the dirt. It's genius.

Okay. So that's your fave. Dirt dirt greg would love that part by the way dirt greg that nickname aged like a fine wine a fucking fine wine god it was so good i saw i saw a headline about something about he's been trying to get on the bachelor for like a decade anyone who's been trying to get on the bachelor for a decade should know how the show goes and that yeah is whatever okay so soren's number one number two it used to be i guess like the haunted hotel but now it's guardians of the galaxy it's the elevator one it used to be tower of terror tower of terror yeah whatever it's gone yeah now it's guardians of the galaxy that was was my favorite one. I know. And that's what everyone says until they go to Guardians and they're like, oh, this is better now.

Is it the same concept, the elevator that falls? Yes. Yeah. And it goes up. So the concept is that, you know, in Guardians of the Galaxy, when they're trying to escape from the jail and Rocket figures out a way to turn off the gravity. Yeah. So it turns into that. It's that is the idea.

All right. I'm on board with that. Oh, my God. It's the best. And so here's the gravity. Yeah. So it turns into that. It's that is the idea. All right, all right, all right. I'm on board with that. It's, oh my God, it's the best. And so here's the thing. If you ever go to fucking Disneyland and you do Guardians of the Galaxy, your tendency is to like, when you go up and then you drop,

the tendency is to hold onto your seat. And so you're like staying with your seat. Don't do that. Don't do that. Fight that urge. Arms up, arms up. Let your body float. It's the closest that you're going to feel to space.

And you're just like, woo. It's really true. Yeah. I love that. And then Star Wars land is just like the coolest. If you can get yourself into the bar, they've got this, they've got this drink that has this foam that turns your lips numb for some reason. Interesting.

There's a restaurant in parts of the Caribbean called Blue Bayou. Yep. Yeah. Anyway, so. Did you get there? We didn't. It was good. It was okay.

You know, whatever. I mean, yeah. You know, whatever. They had drinks there. That's kind of the. All Disneyland is, is trying to figure out how to get alcohol. That's all it really is. I know.

It's so true. Yeah. I have a controversial topic to talk about Yeah. I have a controversial topic to talk about. You've got a controversial topic to talk about? Yeah. And a lot of people aren't going to like this, but here we go. All right. You can break up every type of food into three different categories. Now, this does not pertain to something that's like a ribeye steak or like a breast of chicken, because that's just what it is. It's just a ribeye steak or like a breast of chicken because that's just what it is. It's just a ribeye.

It's just a steak. It's just a breast of chicken. It's just a pork shoulder. Okay. That's just what that is. But everything else you can break down into three different categories. Everything is either a soup, a salad, or a sandwich. And that's it.

Okay. A soup. I don't know about that. A soup is anything with a liquid base a salad is anything with fruits and vegetables and nuts and a sandwich is anything of the starch that has something in between another piece of starch okay what is mac and cheese i would say mac and cheese is a soup it's's not. It's not liquid. Yes, it is. It's a liquid.

No, it's not. It's liquid gold. It's even in the ad for mac and cheese. Liquid gold. But it's not liquid. Salsa? That's a salad. Sorry to say.

No, there's no lettuce in there. But like a caprese is considered a salad and caprese doesn't have any lettuce in it. Salsa is not a fucking salad. Guacamole? that is a salad. It's not. It is. It's a dip. It's a dip.

Pizza is a sandwich. That's fine, I guess, but I'm not crazy about it. A gyro is a sandwich. Tacos are sandwiches. They're just Mexican sandwiches. I don't know. I don't like this. So you're right.

This is controversial. I don't like this. Cereal is a soup. No, it's not. Yes, it is. It's just a cold soup. I don't like this. You're right. This is controversial. I don't like this. Cereal is a soup. No, it's not. Yes, it is. It's just a cold soup. I disagree. It's a cereal.

A ravioli? That's a sandwich. No, it's not. It is. It's a starch. You can't eat it with your hands. Does it matter? That's what a sandwich is.

No. Yes. Yes. Abso-fricking-lutely. High criteria when it comes to a sandwich you have you eat it with your hands you just do that's why i let pizza slide because okay with your hands but you got any you got any more to try to bust me with what about like broccoli that's just that's like going back to like a ribeye is just a ribeye. Okay. So you mean something with like more than one ingredient?

Yeah. Is what you're trying to say here? Yeah. My mac and cheese one was really good. As a soup. No. It's definitely not. A soup.

You even eat it with a spoon. I like to eat mac and cheese with a fork sometimes. Okay. Because it's not liquid. In the ad, it's liquid gold. What ad are you talking about? Oh, my God. Okay, hold on.

Let me find it. Get your own liquid gold. Go get it. There's gold in their shells. Liquid gold. go get there's gold in their shells liquid gold that is an ad for velveta macaroni and cheese okay there's there's gold in the shells that's liquid gold not the mac and cheese is liquid gold the cheese inside the shells the soup give me another one. No, it's not. Okay, what about like chicken fried rice? Salad. It's not.

Yeah, it is. There's nothing green in there. You can have a salad that's not green. No. A caprese salad is red and white. I don't even like those. It doesn't matter if you like it or not. I'm just saying that it doesn't have to be a lettuce-based

situation. But it can't have to be a lettuce-based situation. But it can't have rice. That's crazy. It's not a salad. Hey, when you go get a taco bowl, a taco salad. I don't eat those. Doesn't matter if you do or not. When you go to Chipotle and you get a taco salad, when you go to get a taco salad, there's rice in that. There's beans in them as well. There's guacamole in them, which is a salad inside of a salad, which is crazy. It's not.

Guacamole is a salad. You're a psychopath. Salsa is a salad. Disagree. What does Sarah say about this? She hates this idea. I bet she does. Everyone hates this idea, but I'm dying on this hill.

There are three different types of foods. There are salads, there are soups, and there are sandwiches, and that's it. That's as far as we've evolved. Derek agrees with you on all this. I don't know if I've talked to Derek about it, but we can ask him about it. I feel like next time you see him, you got to ask. Yeah, probably so. That's psychotic.

We haven't done this in a while. I have a tips to living wells. Oh, I do miss this segment. Yeah, well, because I just don't always have good tips. It's fair. And I am ripping this off from somebody else, but I loved it. I've been really trying to do it a lot every single day. Every single day we wake up, even like before, we're like, tomorrow I got to go pick up some stuff from CVS.

I got to go take a COVID test. I got to do a podcast. We say these things and we're trying to figure out, kind of like plan our days and everything, but we're saying it all wrong. And we need to reprogram the way that we think about the tasks that we have to do every single day. And so here's my tip to living wells.

Change, have to, to get to. It's a small little way of thinking about things. Not I have to go to get to. It's a small little way of thinking about things. Not I have to go to get a COVID test. Okay. No, I get to go take a COVID test because if I go take that COVID test, I get to go on vacation in a couple of days. Yeah. I don't have to do this podcast. I get to, I get to do this. I get to hang out with you for an hour every day. It's or every week. It's so fun. We make money off of it. We make people laugh. I think, I don't know, make people cry with the salad soup sandwich theory.

Who knows? Anyways, try to change. Have to to get to. And I think everyone will feel a little bit better every single day. I love that. I'm going to give it a ding too. Yeah.

Very cute. And lastly, so this is hard because you're a girl. Do you only go to get like manicures and pedicures or do you ever like clip your own fingernails and toenails? Sometimes I'll clip them myself, but I don't paint them myself. Yeah. OK, what is your method for clipping your fingernails and toenails? Because I think I'm the only person that does this in the world. And I just want to get other people's like opinions on like how they do it. Like, what do you do? Do you do you go outside outside do you do it into like a into like a trash can like what do you do i think i normally so it's

best to clip your nails right when you get out of the shower right because they're softer oh really did you did you know that yeah they just like clip easier when they're soft instead of like when they're hard um so i usually after i get out of the shower i think i usually just do it over the sink and then rinse it down the sink all All right. Thank you. Because I do this. And so this is from the bygone era of my mother clipping my fingernails. We would always do it over the sink. And then you, because here's the thing. When you do it over a trash can, those little motherfuckers shooting off everywhere, you know? Yeah, they can. Yeah. And all of a sudden you get, they don't do that as much if you do it when they're, when they're soft. like this this thing but anyway so i clip my fingernails over the sink and then i pull

up a chair and i stand on the chair and i clip my toenails and sarah thinks this is the fucking weirdest thing in the world i mean that's a little weird i don't i don't really think i clip my toenails often because i get pedicures every like three weeks. I know. I don't know what to tell you about that. Like my ex, I think went outside to clip his nails, but like that is not shocking cause he does have, he goes outside for everything. So it's like he loves to be outside. I don't know. But I did think that was kind of weird, but I guess I'd rather him do that than like on the bathroom floor. I don't know. Yeah. All right. I think the key is no matter where you do it, you just have to clean it up after. So it's like if you're going to do it over the sink, you got to make sure you rinse the

sink, right? Yeah. If you're going to do it on the floor, you got to vacuum it up after. Like whatever. I don't know. Or just go get a pedicure. You know, a lot of men enjoy pedicures once you get used to it. Come on.

You never know. You might love it. I have done it many times. Not a fan? Not a fan. Not a fan. When they are like scraping my nails, pushing back my cuticles, doing all that stuff, it's like nails on a chalkboard to me. It's like.

I love it so much. It's so therapeutic. And the other thing, I'm sorry, guys. I've just heard way too many horror stories about people getting foot fungi from that. You know what? My entire life's journey is to not get foot fungi. Because if I see someone with foot fungi, I don't think you will never go around that person ever again.

That's not true. I don't know anyone's ever had foot fungus. What are you talking about? My dad had it. Oh my God. It looked like he had fucking horns growing out of his toes. Ew. Dude, I know.

My brother's ex had foot fungi and she was beautiful. And then she had one big toe that was just. And I was just like, get this away from me. I can't handle it. That's disgusting. Dude, my sister got foot fungi from the pedi. And I tell you what. Where are these people going for pedicures? Like, you got to go somewhere nice.

I think they were going to a place nice, you know. You know, you can't trust the sanitary actions of other people. Listen, it comes with foot fungi. Guys, you can't trust the sanitary actions of other people. That's because of foot fungi. Guys, you can't. All right. And you know how long it takes to beat foot fungi? Because you can like get like. No, I don't.

Well, it takes a while. It took my dad like 10 years to beat foot fungi. There's no way that's true. I'm telling you, beating foot fungi is like, oh man, it's an impossibility. So. Okay. Well, that's fine.ibility. So. Okay. Well, that's fine. Stand on a chair and clip your toenails

and let Sarah laugh at you for the rest of your life. I'm going to. And I'm great. I clip my toenails and my fingernails. I tell you what, man. Everyone says, wow, what great hands you got. Wow. No one says that.

I can't imagine anyone saying that. But you know what people don't say? Well, it's just a fun guy. It's disgusting. He's a fun guy, but he? Well, it's just foot fungi. It's disgusting. He's a fun guy, but he's got foot fungi. Uh-huh. Eh. It's funny.

Eh. All right. Anything else? Man, I hate to end on that note. We got any music? I don't, but I can play some. Let me see what I got. Pretty pumped.

In a couple weeks, I'm going to see the band Camino in Nashville. Oh, cool. I love the Ryman. Love that for me. Love that for you. I miss the Ryman. I a couple weeks, I'm going to see the band Camino in Nashville. They're playing The Ryman. Love that for me. Love that for you. I miss The Ryman. I know, right? It's so great. I haven't been in so long, so I'm super pumped.

I haven't listened to this, but it sounds promising. What is it? Runaway Horses. Great title. By the Killers and Phoebe Bridgers. Phoebe Bridgers. Yeah, yeah. I listened to this the other day.

I loved it. Okay, yeah. That sounds good. Let's cue that one up. Like runaway horses In a fever till the end And every step is a silver prayer In the face of a hard wind You traded school What do you think?

I like it. I do too. It's just so weird to hear Brandon Flowers not having the big band behind him. You know? I know. But I kind of like it. I mean, his voice is so good. Yeah, he's great.

I'm here for that. All right, I like it. Anything else? That's all I got, really. Lizzo and Cardi B have out a new song called Rumors. That's something else. Is it good? You got to be a little drunk to like it, probably,

but I was loving it last past weekend. It's pretty insane. The lyrics are just nuts. It's one of the, we should bring back the segment where we read rap lyrics. Oh, yeah. Rumors. Yeah.

Yeah, it's got some bad bitch energy, you know? Oh, yeah. Well, that's what these two women do. Yeah. All right. Well, good catching up with you. Have a great vacay if I don't talk to you before. Yeah, you too.

And safe travels. And yeah. All right. Hey. All right. you before yeah you too and safe travel and yeah all right all right we love you guys have a great week um next week bips on monday and tuesday pretty good pretty funny no i didn't fuck drake yet Pretty good. Pretty funny. No, I didn't fuck Drake yet. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.