Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Wet Dreams and UFOs

Episode Date: May 26, 2021

Welcome back to another episode of Your Favorite Podcast. Off the top, we learn that Brandi got a little stoned AGAIN last night, on account of a really bad influence named Tish the Dish living rent free in her basement. We then get into a big chat about what Wells and Sarah should do about their wedding and how much longer it will be postponed. Lucky for us all, we are then let in on an embarrassing story from Wells’ past, that could have stayed hidden but, here we are. Your hosts then chat UFOs (now called UAPs), and a ramen recipe Wells found on TikTok. They leave you with an overall inspirational message of the week: If you can’t be good, be good at it. Whatever that means. Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRAND-EYE. We love you so!!!  Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers:  GREEN CHEF – Go to GreenChef.com/90yft and use code 90yft to get $90 off including free shipping  ARTICLE – Go to article.com/yft to get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more SKYN – Shop SKYN condoms on Amazon.com   Join our community at Patreon.com/YourFavoriteThing 

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah Remember when people used to say that? Be like, what it do? I don't think I ever said that. Really? I don't think. I feel like that was a thing. People would say, what it do? I mean, we should bring that back. No. It could be a thing.

It could be. What it do? What it do, yo? You never did that? No. Damn, dude. You're not cool like me maybe it was like a no you're you're a southern person so maybe it was a california thing

sounds like not a here thing whatever what so anyways what to do how you doing i got kind of stoned last night dude you're turning into a little Tish the Dish. I mean, she's here in my basement. She's a terrible influence, honestly. Your stoner mom lives in the basement. It's like the really funny sitcom. I know. It should be a show.

It should be, actually. Genius. Somebody sent a question into the other podcast. Sorry, we're stoned and was like brandy i just want to hear like your story of like the first time you got caught smoking weed and like how much trouble did you get in and all that and i wanted to be like um role reversal i'm the one that caught my mom smoking weed when she was keeping it from all of us and i didn't even try weed until this year i want to hear that story.

It's not like a very vivid story. I just remember my mom was so against it for so long. Like I'm pretty sure my dad hid it from her, her entire relationship, obviously like then like trace and Miley started smoking like a while ago. And my mom like hated it. Like she was not okay with it. And, and Noah, like when she was really young, Noah hated it and was really against it because my mom was and all this stuff. And then I'll never forget the day Noah found a box of like weed paraphernalia, like hidden in my mom's closet. And she was, and it was like none, no one else lived at home. Like everybody had moved out. So, and then it was just her. And she was like, is mom smoking weed? And it was like this huge thing. Noah was so upset. And of course confronted her about it. Cause that's what Noah does. And then once my mom got caught, she was like, all right, well, I guess this is out in the open now. And then she just started being an out of the closet stoner. And here we are. How did she she respond i got caught with weed my initial response was to deny it is that what your mom did yeah i'm pretty sure she was like that's not mine that's

your dad's or whatever and then eventually like she just had to own up to it i think she got caught a few more times or something i don't know it. It was insane. That's so funny. It reminds me of my grandmother who's no longer with us. She didn't smoke pot, but she smoked cigs. Her house smelled like an ashtray. Her car smelled so bad, but she pretended like she didn't smoke. And she'd be like, we'd go stay with her and she'd be like, all right, well, I'm going to go to Vaughn's and pick up some things. Do you need anything? And we're like, you're not going to Vaughn's. So she would get in her car,

which was called, which is a Mercedes called the Falcon two personalized license plate. Because, wow. Cause her last name was Maltese. So Maltese Falcon. She thought that was fucking hilarious, which actually it was hilarious.

And then it was pretty good. Yeah. And then, and then actually when she got too old to drive, she gave me the car and I drove the Falcon two around Nashville. I bebop there on that thing for ever. It was a great car. Yeah.

Anyway, so she would, we would go and catch her and she would just do hot laps around Culver city and just rip darts. And she would ash into a, like a cup in the car. Then she would, she would throw the cup out or whatever.

And one day we were like a funeral or something. She'd go and like go and in the car. Then she would throw the cup out or whatever. And one day, we were at like a funeral or something. She'd go and like go and hide some cigarettes. And finally I was like, grandma, we all know you smoke cigs. Just rip darts in front of us. You're 95 years old. We're like, I don't care. You know, like what does it matter now? Like rip darts.

And then she was just like, well, I don't smoke cigarettes. They're bad for you. And we're like, yeah, you do. You reek like an ashtray. And then I feel like it was the weight lifted off her shoulders and she just ripped darts in front of us. Oh, my God. So, you know what? Just live your life, man.

Live your life. But also, like, don't smoke. Cigarettes are bad for you. But if you're a 95-year-old Portuguese woman, ripped darts, dude. If you want to rip darts, 95, rip dold Portuguese woman, ripped arts, dude. If you want ripped arts at 95, ripped arts. Yeah, I guess so. Which, by the way, so she passed away from Alzheimer's, so it had nothing to do with lung cancer. With cigarettes.

Yeah, so when she passed away, we were like, autopsy, we need to know what them lungs look like. Clear as a whistle. No way. Clean as a whistle, yeah. Same thing with my grandfather. My grandfather on my mom's side, Portuguese, was he, he lived with us for a while. Dude, old people are fucking gangster. So he would live with us, such a big personality guy.

And he had his spot at the table, at the dinner table, and he loved wine, but he would drink it so much that my father would buy him jug wine like shitty jug wine and he would just have his own not a bottle uh like portuguese jug wine it's like shitty wine and he would just crush he would also have some of the nice wine that like my parents were having but then it was just like his jug wine and he passed away from i think from pancreatic cancer so anyways when he died my father who's a doctor like ordered the autopsy and he was like gotta know what the liver looks like like what's happening there because the motherfucker was drinking jug wine

every night for the past like 40 years and then he would go down to clint eastwood owns this restaurant and bar called the mission ranch in monterey and Carmel. It's quite famous. And if you go to Monterey, you should go because you because like they have like old crooners get up with the piano player and like sing old Frank Sinatra tunes. And he would go up there and he would croon and just like I feel like just take down blue hairs left and right. Anyways, the liver clean as a whistle, clean as a whistle. Dude, if you're old, rip darts and drink jug wine. That's terrible advice, but I feel like if you're old,

you can do it. Can you not hear me? No, I muted you for a second because somebody's in the other room talking on the phone. I could hear it. Is it your roommate that lives in the basement?

No, it's my friend, Matt. He's in town. Your freeloading mom who's living in the basement? Is that insane? We were talking about about we've been on this kick about um trying to buy land somewhere just as an investment and she was like why would i do that when i can live in the basement for the rest of my life for free i was like

oh is this my future it is so when does she leave? I don't know. I don't know. You're stuck, dude. Uh-huh. This is it. Anyways, good times. Should we start the show? Yeah, let's do it. I think it's me. Yeah, it is. Bros and hoes,

you're listening to your favorite podcast with... You mean your favorite thing podcast? No, it is. Bros and hoes, you're listening to your favorite podcast with... You mean your favorite thing podcast? No, it's just your... This is their favorite podcast now. Oh, okay. With Wells and Brandy. Your favorite thing podcast. Your favorite podcast.

It's also called your favorite thing podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm trying to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm trying to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I was trying to say. One of my favorite things happened yesterday. Phil Mickelson, at the age of 50, won the PGA Championship at Kiowa on the ocean course. What?

I mean, like, I know no one cares. I don't know anything about golf. Yeah, I know no one cares about this, but I care about it, and it's one of my favorite things. Phil Mickelsonson lefty basically tiger woods's counterpart you know it's like larry bird to magic johnson or who's lebron's like big rival maybe kevin durant it's like kevin durant to lebron james i guess tiger woods phil mickelson phil mcgill is 50 years old and he just beat everybody yesterday it was amazing wow so anyways it's given older people like meh a reason to live isn't golf like an old people sport anyway he's the now the oldest major winner in history

there's only been like three guys who have done it like in their late 40s he's definitely broken the mold but dude interesting but the way that like like, it works now, I feel like, with people understanding eating habits and, like, working out and all that kind of stuff, I feel like, you know, Tom Brady, dude. Tom Brady is, like, as old as my grandma. He's taking hot laps to Vaughn's to smoke cigs, I feel like, you know? He's still out there killing it. Yeah. That's true. You know what's crazy is that Giselle makes all the money in that family.

What do you mean? She makes substantially more money than Tom Brady. Yeah, but he also makes a lot of money. I know, but she makes a lot more money. Sarah and I are the poor man's version of Tom and Giselle. Oh, uh-huh. Where it's like, I make money, but Sarah makes money. Oh.

Yeah, you're right. You know? When do you get to see Sarah again? July. That's so far. Oh, no. Wow. It's the life.

I mean, this is the longest you guys have been apart in a long time. For sure. Do you feel like it's been good for your relationship or bad or neither i think it's good i'm very content being alone like i have no problem with it at all i feel like covid's me because i'm like i don't need to leave ever like yesterday i had a pool day with just the dogs i had a blast i saw an absolute blast it was one of the best days i had in a long time i also think a little distance is good it's healthy like i actually think that covid making sarah and i be together every single day every hour of the day it was actually not healthy for a relationship i think that the healthiest

relationships are both people in the relationship are supportive of the other one's things and like are their biggest cheerleader like Like go do that thing. Fucking go kill it. Go, go to Ireland and film a television show. Like fucking rooting you on. I'm rooting you on from back here. Don't worry.

I'm gonna take care of everything. Don't need to worry about it. I want you to go and kill it. And also like, I think that works in like a micro scale, like go out with your friends, go to a fucking concert, get fucked up,

have a good time, you know, like be smart or whatever, but like, don't worry, I'll be at home and I'll be, you know, waiting for you and I'll have a big taco bell waiting

for you to get home. You know, like I think that those things are healthy. Like you need to go do your shit. So I completely agree. For me, I'm just so pumped that she's doing, getting back to like doing the thing that she loves and is good at. And I think everyone was feeling it. This COVID depression was like a real thing. So, All right, quick PSA for those of you out there who rent, if you haven't heard of built, you're about to thank me. Earning points on rent is now a reality when you pay your rent through built, you don't even have to check with your landlord to start earning points that you can use towards flights, hotel stays, fitness classes, and even your next rent payment. All right, let me break it down for you. There's no cost to join Build, and as a member, you'll earn valuable points on rent and your everyday

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If you're shipping, you got to do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 89% off UPS, DHL, Express, and USPS rates. What, you don't want to save money? Come on. Deliver a better customer experience with the industry-leading features that help you find the best carrier rates, print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code YOURFAVORITETHING to sign up for your free 60-day

trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code YOURFAVORITETHING. Do it. We should probably talk about favorite things, though. Oh, yeah. Well, I talked about Phil Mickelson. That doesn't count because no one knows who that is. Dude, yes, they do. I have a favorite story that I wanted to tell. About that? No. Oh, thank God. So, you, they do. I have a favorite story that I wanted to tell. About that? No.

Oh, thank God. So, you know, like our wedding keeps on getting postponed and postponed. You know, every time I talk to any of my friends, they're like, what the fuck's happening with your wedding? You know, and I'm like, I don't know. I was literally thinking that today. I was like, I got to ask Wells when he's getting married. I don't know. I'm thinking it's either courthouse sitch that no one's going to know about or it's going to be 2022.

It's going to be one or the other. Who knows? Or both. You could do both. You could go to the courthouse now and then throw a big party and have a wedding in 2022. Okay. So can I then let me pivot away from the story I was going to tell. And I want to hear your thoughts on this because this is something that Sarah and I have talked about like ad nauseum.

And I'm just not sure how i feel about it like my my mind is willing to be changed i'm not like firm on this stance i've never been married before and i only want to get married one time yeah the conversation has come up with like let's just fucking knock it out and then have a and then do it like down the road like a like go to the courthouse, just get the marriage papers, all that kind of stuff for taxes, all that kind of stuff. And then, you know, like in a year, let's get married and have all our friends there and have this big celebration. And my argument against that is this, but I'm also willing to change my mind because I've never been married before. I have a feeling that like, no matter what the setting is, whether it's a courthouse or it's in front of everybody, that first time I'm going to be overcome with emotion.

I'm going to cry and it's going to be beautiful and I'm going to feel a certain way. That's great. And I think that, well, at least that's how I hope I react. Now, if we do that and then we have a big kind of wedding next year for everybody i'm not gonna have that reaction again so then it becomes for me quite performative am i doing this for everyone else's benefit not for my own but this is supposed to be like a celebration of our love not like wanting you guys to see my love you know like then i feel like then it's a little bit of a fraud and I don't want that.

Women have this fairytale princess version of their wedding. Guys have that too. Like I, in my mind, I want all my boys around me. I want to be in a fucking bad-ass tux. I want to like see her walking down the aisle, cry a little bit,

you know, I want to get drunk on the dance floor, you know, like I don't want that to feel performative. So I don't know, I'm at a cross. It already feels like we're married. We bought a house together. We got these dogs. I don't know. What do you think? Because of what you just told me and the importance for you of like the feelings of it and all that, I kind of think you should wait. You can just have the wedding. Cause for me, I've always really liked the idea of like going to get married, go somewhere cool, do the darn thing with like one or two people there, whatever. And then come back and

just throw a huge party, like reception type thing and just skip the whole wedding ceremony altogether. Just because I don't really love wedding ceremonies. Like I just, I just don't, that's not, I've never really dreamt about that. I've never like fantasized about that. It's just not something that's very important to me, but the party and the celebrating abso-frickin-lutely. But if you're saying the ceremony part is important to you, I kind of think it's worth just waiting. I mean, what's one more year paying taxes separately, you know? Yeah.

And I mean, you guys already live together and like whatever. So I mean, going to the courthouse really isn't going to change much. So if really like having that ceremony and that party and everybody there to do all that with you guys is important. I think it's worth waiting. Which by the way, we have talked about like taking, scooping up like four people, going to Paris and doing it there, which I'm totally down for. It's great in a year. Let's have some big party. What I don't want to do is I don't want to it's great in a year let's have some big party what i don't want to do is i don't want to have that ceremony in a year i'm i'm fine doing it that way i just don't i just don't want to like walk down the aisle and all this stuff and being like this

is all we're all we're acting here we've already done this yeah i get that but also it's whatever sarah wants to do happy to do whatever she wants to do back to the story that i wanted to tell so my you know all my buddies like wasn't getting married like what's going on it's my best friend ryan was like what's going on i've been sitting on this story i want to tell at your wedding and i want to embarrass you. And in my mind, I'm like, bro, every week I sit in front of a microphone and I tell embarrassing stories about myself to a lot more people than like the 50 assholes that are going to be invited to our wedding. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to tell the story on the podcast and just ruin your ability to tell this at my wedding. The year is 2005. We used to do this thing in college

where, so I went to school in Mississippi. So, and my best friend also went to school in Mississippi, but we're both from the same hometown. His name's Ryan. And we'd do this thing where we would drive back to California at summertime and then together drive back out to Mississippi, you know, after summer's over, going back to school. And what we would do is that we had friends that were going to school all around the country. My buddy Paul went to school up in Lehigh, which is up in Pennsylvania and Bethlehem. So he would fly down to Memphis. Ryan and I would pick him up and then we'd drive across the country and then we'd go to Boulder'd go to boulder and pick up my buddy matt and my buddy alex and we'd continue on west going back to monterey so we're driving my jeep limited which

we called the golden shower for reasons that will make sense in a little bit we're going we're going through lawrence kansas which is where ku is which actually lawrence kansas one of my favorite places in the world that place is dope go to the to the wheel, grab a burger, go. If you can get into Allen Fieldhouse, pay heat, all who enter, beware of the fog. One of the best college sporting events you'll ever experience. So we get to Lawrence. We're driving around like fraternity row and the golden shower breaks down. Okay. We're in front of the Fiji house. Luckily, my buddy Paul is a fraternity member at Fiji at the Lehigh chapter. So luckily, luckily, yeah.

So these guys come out and my buddy Paul like throws him like the, whatever the weird fucking handshake is to be like, I'm also part of this cult. And so they're like, oh, it sucks. The golden shower broke down. So they help us like push it up the hill into a parking space. And they're like, you guys can stay here until your

car gets fixed. And then you can be on your way, which was super dope and very nice of them. One guy was like, you can sleep in my bunk. I sleep at my girlfriend's house or whatever. So I was like, dope. I forget his name. I feel, I feel terrible. I forget his name. You know, we're there for a couple of days while the golden shower is getting fixed. And one morning, I kind of freak out. And I get down off the bunk and I run to the bathroom. And my buddy Ryan, who's sleeping in the bunk below me, he was like, what the fuck? What the fuck just happened?

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. And so like the rest of the trip, he was like, what the fuck happened? Like, did you shit the bed? Like, did you pee the bed? Like, did you pee the bed? Like what, what the fuck happened in that bunk?

And so finally I had to admit that I had a wet dream in this guy's bed. Ew. How old were you? I was in college. That is so not right. in college. That is so not right. And so Ryan brings this up to me every time I hang out with him.

Just like, hey man, remember that time you jizzed in someone else's bed? That is disgusting. And to this day I feel so bad about it because there's nothing I can do. I was having a fun dream and then I ruined this guy's bed and I couldn't be like, hey, I gotta wash your sheets because I just did it.

This was literally 15 years ago and you're still holding on to this. I feel so bad. Oh, fuck. I just need to get it out there, you know? I gotta put it out in the universe and apologize that guy i'm sorry i'm so we don't know i don't know his name i'm so sorry oh man and like i'm sure it just was like on the inside of my boxers but like still. Ew. What? Like I. You're nasty. Oh, God.

Do girls have wet dreams? No. Yeah, they do. No, it's not a thing. It's gotta be a thing. I don't think it's a thing. You don't have sex dreams? No.

Can you Google it? I mean, I don't know if I want this on my. Can women have wet dreams? The short answer, yes. Yeah, they can, but do they is the question. Although women may not be aware of the occurrence of vaginal lubrication or wetness during sleep associated with the wet dream, it is thought that they also experience this phenomenon. Though women may also have wet dreams, the term is most oftenly used for men.

C. Wet dreams, 12 things to know about sleep orgasms i can't wait for somebody to be like ask you some like make you take some quiz where it's like what was your last google search i know no this is no when i like when i go missing and the cops come by they're gonna be like what was he looking at anyways i'm just glad i got that off my chest glad i got off my balls you know have you seen the new angelina jolie movie on hbo no you talked about it last week saying you were gonna watch it okay i loved it yeah i think it's called Those Who Wish Me Dead or Us Dead or something. Let me see.

Yeah. This is the one that was like, it's a murder wrapped up in like a volcano fire. Not a volcano. Those Who Wish Me Dead is a 2021 American neo-Western action thriller film based on a novel of the same name didn't know the film follows a boy who is one of the most incredible actors i've ever seen who witnesses the murder of his father and goes on the run with a smoke jumper angelina jolie in the montana wilderness to escape a pair of assassins hired to silence him so many honestly i loved it um i watched it with my mom and she was being a little critical of some like cliche things that i honestly just wouldn't really have noticed like

she was like angelina is wearing a wig and was like really bothered by that and i was like oh maybe i don't know and then she and then there's a of course, where Angelina Jolie takes her shirt off. And she's a firefighter or smokejumper, I guess, technically. But she fights fires. And she takes off her uniform and has on this white lacy bra. And my mom's like, wouldn't she be wearing a sports bra? Just stuff like that that I was like, mom, who even? Of course they're going to put her in a sexy bra.

It's Angelina Jolie. She's sexy as hell and like things like that um or my mom just thought like they tried a little too hard to like lean into the like sexy role for her but that's what she does i mean she is sexy i i wasn't bothered by it but other than that my mom did like the movie too i loved it so much i the little boy that i just we were talking about he really is mean, Angelina Jolie's character is the main character, but aside from her, he is the main character in this movie. And he's so amazing. He's a great actor.

And it's good. It's action-packed. People die. Lots of shooting. Set in Montana. That's so trendy right now. But I love where it was shot. It was beautiful. It's like this crime-type thriller where these assassins are chasing chasing down this this boy and his dad so you have like that aspect of it but then there's also this like wildfire aspect of this wildfire coming in and so it's it's just

like a lot going on but i loved it a lot i thought it was amazing the acting was great the guy that plays the sheriff who's angelina Jolie's ex smoking hot. So there's like lots of eye candy in this movie for everyone. I just really enjoyed it. Tyler Perry's in it. He is in it. He's in like one scene. He plays like the boss of the assassins. Like he hires the assassins.

They literally show him like once. The kid you're talking about, his name is Finn Little, which. He's amazing. That's such a Hollywood name. Yeah, it is. Australian actor, Finn Little. Oh, He's amazing. That's such a Hollywood name. Yeah, it is. Australian actor, Finn Little. Oh, he's Australian? He's Australian.

He's amazing. Not only was he a great actor, he was having to do an accent. He was great. Does it say how old he is in real life? They kind of don't tell people's ages anymore. You know that? Yeah, yeah. It's okay. You can be 96 and smoking cigs and ripping darts, driving around Vons, you know, whatever.

Jon Bernthal is in it. Who's he? He was like Punisher. He was in Wolf of Wall Street. He was in Walking Dead. He's the cop. The hot cop? Oh, yeah.

He's the one that's smoking hot. Oh, yeah. He's in like a lot of stuff. He's hot. I watched a show called Houston recently that really liked. And it's so not a me show. It's more like. Is that the new Ryan Murphy show?

Yes. I would assume. Noah's obsessed with it. I would assume it's Ryan Murphy. I don't even know if that's true, but it is like the most Ryan Murphy shit ever. So yes, I would say. So it's Ewan McGregor. Ewan McGregor is just such a good actor.

little yes, I would say. So it's Ewan McGregor. Ewan McGregor is just such a good actor. It tracks Halston as he leverages his single, invented name into a worldwide fashion empire that is synonymous with luxury, sex, status, and fame, literally defining the era. So he's this gay fashion designer, and it starts out with him designing a hat for Jackie Kennedy. designer and it starts out with him designing a hat for Jackie Kennedy. He becomes famous for making hats because Jackie Kennedy wears his hats. And then it's like all about him like having to reinvent himself as like a dressmaker because hats become out of fashion. And it's kind of like this like rags to riches story. I don't know, it's just really good. And Ewan McGregor is just like so good and so believable in it. And yeah, but I didn't know it's just really good and ewan mcgregor is just like so good and so believable in it and yeah but i didn't know it was ryan murphy but now that you say that i'm like yeah

of course that's what that is it's absolutely what it is so anyways check it out yeah a lot of people have been talking about it lately yeah netflix good stuff you teased it last week but i went and watched it the woman in the window what'd you think what did i think i i really enjoyed it it wasn't exactly like the disturbia thing that we were thinking it was the twist at the end is really good i guess i didn't see it coming i don't want to ruin it for everybody but uh yeah don't have you did you watch it so i did not watch it because Tish watched it. Yeah. And while she couldn't even get through it,

she said it was one of the worst things she's ever seen. Oh, she said it was so cheesy and absolutely terrible. She hated it. Also, Olivia Creedy hated it. And both of them have read the book and I have heard that the book is phenomenal.

Okay. So I think if you've read the book and you already know the story, I you're probably gonna hate the movie but if you haven't read the book like wells maybe it's worth watching i can definitely see where they're coming from in that they didn't do it justice or whatnot i didn't hate it i mean amy adams obviously is very good gary oldman is good julia moore's in it and she's great. Wyatt Russell is, like, quietly becoming, like, a huge name in Hollywood. He's in, like, everything I see, he's in now. Like what else? In Falcon and Winter Soldier.

Mm. He plays the new Captain America. Oh. And he's great in that. We did, did like a good Black Mirror. He was in Overlord, which was actually,

I really liked Overlord. We talked about that a couple years ago on the show. He's really good in this. I didn't hate it. If you haven't read the book, it's worth a watch.

Okay. Interesting. I started watching this documentary on Hulu called Sasquatch. Oh, what? Okay, stick with me. Stick with me here, guys.

Sasquatch follows investigative journalist David Holthaus as he attempts to solve a bizarre 25-year-old triple homicide that was said to be the work of a mythical creature, Sasquatch. of a mythical creature, Sasquatch. So, okay. So there's this guy, this David Holthaus, who is an investigative journalist who's done like a lot of like real, substantial, investigatory journalism. He infiltrated a neo-Nazi group, became like a skinhead,

and like did this whole story on them. He infiltrated like this huge like drug ring and became like a drug dealer person to like investigate this drug kingpin stuff and so he's not like a crackpot is what i guess i'm trying to say he's like a real life journalist but he kind of looks like a crackpot 25 years ago he was just getting getting like into becoming an investigatory journalist. And he went and started, was working at a, a legal pot farm up in like Mendocino up, you know,

Humboldt area, Northern California, where like they grow the best butter or whatever. So he's up there, you know, helping a harvest or whatnot. He tells a story of, you know,

he was hanging out at this house and these two guys come in like covered in mud, like freaking out, talking to the owner of the property where they're harvesting the bud, being like, they're dead. They're dead. They're all dead. The owner of the farm being like, what are you talking about? It's like they've been crucially murdered, mutilated, ripped up.

So you're thinking like, oh, you know, a rival gang came in there and shot everyone and stole the weed. And the guy's like, no, they left all the fucking weed. It ripped up. It was Bigfoot. It was Sasquatch. We saw the footprints, like all this stuff. So it sounds like a crazy like tweaker fucking memory. And it very well could have been.

This investigatory journalist like like, remembers this story. Like, so then that's what happens. And, like, they finish Tarvis and they leave or whatever. But now, 25 years later, he's like, I want to go back and, like, look into this. And so it kind of goes down this, like, weird. I only watched the first episode. It's a three-part docuseries. But it starts going down this, like, kind of long and crazy road of a lot of people in the in the pacific northwest or in that area where there's just like a lot of like old growth redwoods and stuff

believe that there is a bigfoot and a sasquatch out there and so it just kind of goes down this road of like did this sasquatch do it and then it turns in i think then it starts turning into something else which is also like a cool story it's's a Sasquatch story that's not really about Sasquatch. I know that it sounds crazy. Maybe I am crazy. But all I'm saying is it was quite interesting. Really enjoyed the first episode, Sasquatch on Hulu.

Check it out. It also like just came out last month. It's a show? It's a three-part docu-series. It sounds like something my dad would love. Oh, for sure. Blood? Right up his alley.

Dude, tell Blood about Sas tell blood about sasquatch speaking of sasquatch and crazy phenomenon how about like okay i've been touting the alien thing for a while and the ufos and everyone you know thinks i'm i think they think i'm crazy and whatnot but how about like how it's just out there now the government's just like yep they're out there did you see that the thing on 60 minutes i didn't see that but like i feel like it's just out there now. The government's just like, yep, they're out there. Did you see that? The thing on 60 Minutes? I didn't see that. But like, I feel like it's been out there.

How is no one talking about this? I don't, but no one was talking about, remember like a year ago in the height of COVID where we, everyone thought they were trying to like pivot away from how bad COVID was because they released all the video footage of the UFOs. Yeah. And no one talked about it.

Like no one's been talking about it. Dude. 60 minutes episode that aired i guess like last week or whatnot um they talked to a bunch of these i guess like navy or air force pilots who have seen a bunch of these things and so they're asking this one pilot i have no reason not to believe what this guy's saying he doesn't seem like a crazy person. He seems like a fucking military pilot. And they're like, so how often do you see these well, now they call them unidentified aerial phenomenons. U-A-P's.

They're called U-A-P's now. That's weird. That's because the stigma of UFO makes it sound crazy or whatever, so they wanted to like, I don't know, whatever. And so it's like, how often do you see these? The motherfucker goes, every day! Every day? You see U-A-P, you see UFOs, whatever. They called. And so it was like, how often do you see these? Motherfucker goes every day, every day. You see UAP, you see UFOs, whatever. You see fucking little green men every day.

Wait, what? Also, I want to see just one. Just one day. I want to see one, you know? And then maybe never again. I guess they have to like release all this information next month. And this may be crazy and we may not get anything. But like what if next month the government has to be like, yeah, so.

You know how we've been like telling everyone who's like saying they've been like abducted or like seen crazy lights inside that like they're crazy. So, yeah, no, actually, no, that totally exists. And sorry, we made you feel crazy. We gaslit you for the past 100 years. But yeah, there's aliens. Also, what is that going to do to religions? Are religions going to freak out? Or are they going to like be like, yeah, of course, this confirms God's power.

I don't know. I was thinking about that. Like, yeah, I feel like they'll probably try to be like, yeah, we knew about it all along. Like, yeah, I don't know. Hey, I don't know. I don't know how you how you kind of like it all along. Yeah. I don't know. Hey, I don't know. I don't know how you kind of wrap your brain around it. I don't either. But anyways, I think next month we're going to be like, yeah, aliens are real.

Let's do it. Oh, my God. Okay, my question, though, is if they're seeing them every day. Every day. How come you haven't seen one? Like, how come we haven't seen them? Yeah, I don't know. I don't want to, like, put on my tinfoil hat here.

come we haven't seen them yeah i don't know i don't want to like put on my tinfoil hat here but i do think that like if you have a ship that's able to traverse galaxies and you defy the laws of physics you probably have like some sort of like invisibility cloak you know boy well i'm just saying that could probably exist so i think the reason why they see a lot of them that we don't see them is because they see them on like radar and stuff where it's you know it's not um or or infrared and stuff so you visually you can't see the eye looking at the sky yeah huh and apparently like they're in the sea what what do you mean like in the sky over the ocean no like if you go start googling all these ufo things they have videos of ufos coming out of the ocean. What?

Yeah, dude. Are you sure it's not CGI? I'm telling you, man. Next month. Next month, we're just going to know that they aliens exist. I'm down. I mean, we need something to talk about. But here's the thing.

Like the way that our country is working right now, I feel like half the country would be like, like man that's just antifa fucking oh for sure that's q anon man that's black ops and it ain't real that's trying to disguise that's trying to trick us from knowing the real problem which is government you know like it's gonna be some oh it's gonna be so annoying because it's gonna be like you know and i feel like it's going to be so annoying because it's going to be like, you know, and I feel like it's going to be the new political thing. Yeah. Mm hmm. When does The Bachelorette come back? June 7th.

June 7th. All right. We're getting close. Yeah. Getting close. I need some batch tea in my life. I got a fave thing. That's not an ad, but it's going to sound like an ad.

But to our producers, maybe you should go like pitch these people for us to do ads for them because I really do love this product. Okay. Have you been seeing on Instagram, has anyone been trying to like sell you a pan that seems like it can do everything? No. For whatever reason, I think it's because I cook a lot. Targeted ads, there was this pan company called Our Place Pans. It's like kind of a deep pan that you can also steam vegetables in and there's also like a wooden spoon that like hooks on to the handle.

I've been seeing it and like telling Sarah like, this pan looks fucking cool. And so she got it for my birthday. I gotta say, it is so badass. Like this pan, it's so badass. Like this man, it's so badass. Like so nonstick.

I know this sounds stupid, but like, it's so great. You are old. I got nothing to tell you other than like, it's phenomenal. Oh, and the other thing that I learned on TikTok that I'm like into, like, it's so good. The mayo ramen. Have you made that or have you made that? Or have you seen that? No.

Do you eat ramen? I still eat ramen. No, mayo and ramen together sounds disgusting. I know, but I'm telling you. Okay, so this is what you do. I'm not kidding you. It's the fact that I was eating ramen a different way. Like, what was I ever thinking? But I still eat ramen, no shame.

It's a by-product from when I was poor and I love it, still delicious. So this is what you do. You cook your ramen ramen like normal like boiling water or whatnot in a bowl you put the ramen you know like the seasoning packet in a bowl you put an egg in you you put in like two tablespoons of mayonnaise you cut up some chives you throw in someriracha, and then you throw in like maybe a quarter cup of the boiling water and you mix that up. And then you then you put the noodles into that mixture and mix it all together. Holy shit, man. I don't know.

I know you don't know because I saw that. I was like, I don't know about this. This might be gross. But I was like, fuck it. I'm going to do this one night. And I got what else am I doing? And like, oh, if I if it sucks, then like, what have I lost? 79 cents of ramen. Oh my God, guys. It was amazing. Go make it. Seriously. I think I'll pass and just take your

word for it. All right, fine. Whatever does it for you. Just try it. Not ramen and eggs and mayonnaise. I know. I know what it sounds like. Just try it one night. Do you have any ramen with you? No, I'm an easy Mac kind of gal. You got anything else? I might have some Muzak. You got some Muzak?

I got some Muzak. You got some Muzak? Yeah. Was it you that's a big Teddy Geiger fan? I was back in the day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In TV days. I don't know if you remember.

It was a while back where I was like, do you, have you ever heard of Sylvanesso? And you were like, no. And then I started playing some Sylvanesso for you. And you're like, oh, I like this. Anyways, I saw that Sylvanesso and Teddy Geiger have a new track out called Numb. And I was digging on it.

So here you go. Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake. Fins and pins and needles then. Happy moving with your friends. Shaking to remember. Shaking to pretend. Shaking to believe and shake and to forget. Shaking for the force. Shaking for the beast. That's numb by Teddy Iger and Sylvan Esso. That's Vibey.

Yeah, good vibes. Vance Joy has a new song out. Love him. And it's classic Vance. Like, don't get, you know, don't go thinking it's going to be some new sound and whatever. It's just good old Vance Joy. But it's called Missing some new sound and whatever it's just good old vance joy but it's it's called missing piece and i love him how about how there's vance joy and floy vance i know it's a little confusing like someone that's like when when two people show up at

the party wearing the same thing it's like someone's got to go change you know like come on come on guys this this isn't gonna work for anybody all right missing pieces wasted days summer's golden haze in our eyes lifting you above the breaking waves memories floating back to my mind you say hold the line i won't let go because i'll be there when you can finally make it home and i don't mind you're right it is very vance joy and it is classic really good i know he's so good i mean why fix why fix something that's not broken? Exactly, yeah. My other one is a little more

upbeat. Mike Posner put out a song with Black Bear and I love all Black Bear stuff. It's called Jealousy. Early on this one, it's only got 70,000 listens. Oh no, 700,000. Still not that much, bro. Baby.

Baby. Vibe. Vibe. Love it. Yeah. Is that it? That's it. Some Patreon business to get through. Vern's got a couple shout outs we got to do.

Oh, yay. My fave. Yeah. Which, by the way, we must have a lot of Patreon members because I feel like I've been doing this for a very long time. You have. Yeah. All right. Okay.

Vern is back on your favorite thing radio program. Time for erotic grandpa shout outs to our favorite listeners. Shout out to Antoinette S. from Tennessee. Do you think that is Antoinette? Am I saying that right? I think so. That is a name from 1742.

Who the fuck is named Antoinette these days? Oh my god. We love you. Also shout out to Jamie R. from Oregon. Jamie spelled with a Y. We get it. You're cool and different because you spelled it with a Y instead of an I.

Also, shout out to Laura G. from California. Shout out to Sarah M. from Nevada. Ooh, I like Nevada. Vegas, baby. I'll be there this weekend. I once contracted syphilis from a hooker in Vegas. Lovely. Luckily, it was right after World War II and we had penicillin.

Shout out to Brooke B. from Texas. And shout out to Teresa. Teresa. Oh, it looks like Tressa. Tressa. That's what it looks like. Tressa can wear a dresser, I remember. She's from New York.

Also shout out to Cassandra from New Jersey. Cassandra and Rebecca H from Ohio. Have you ever been to Ohio? I have, many a time. What do you do in Ohio? I horse show in Ohio. Have you ever been to Ohio? I have, many a time. What do you do in Ohio? I have a horse show in Ohio. Oh. I also, as a kid, used to go to, was it called Kings Island?

Kings, some theme park. I don't think I've ever been to Cleveland. I don't think, or Ohio. Anyways, shout out to Robin C. from Michigan? Mm-hmm. Michigan. We have a lot of middle Americans on this show. It's just very nice.

We do. Also, shout out to Ashley Benson from Tennessee. Probably not Ashley Benson. Ashley B. Ashley B. from Tennessee. Yes, that rhymes. And I think that we can say this might be one of the first male Patreon members, Michael N. from Washington. Wow. Do you think he's real?

No. I think that the producers put this in to make us feel better about the diversity on the show. But really, Michael N. doesn't exist. And probably it's probably a typo. It's Michelle N. from Washington. And probably it's probably a typo. It's Michelle N from Washington. And there you have it. There it is. Okey dokey. Well, I think we did it. We did it. We did the damn thing.

You know what? What? You know what you're forgetting? What? You're forgetting that this podcast comes out on my birthday this week. Oh, it does. You're right. The 26th, right my birthday this week. Oh, it does. You're right. The 26th, right? Yep.

Yeah, I got it on Cal. I'm not going to get you anything because you didn't get me anything. I did post on your birthday. You did. I saw that a lot of people posted. And last year, you complained that no one posts on your birthday. Yeah. Well, so the squeaky wheel gets the grease, Brandy.

I'll post on your birthday, but happy birthday, Brandi. Thanks, Wells. I'm not going to ask how old you are because you don't look a day over 23. I was going to say 24. I think I'll just stick with that from now on. Yeah. It's a good age To that guy that I had a wet dream in your bed

I'm sorry bro I almost forgot about it Well My bad bro I mean It happens I can't control my body sometimes All right guys It happens. I can't control my body sometimes.

All right, guys. Be good. If you can't be good, be good at it. Did you hear that slogan? Uh-huh. Can't be good, be good at it. I heard it. Pretty funny.

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