Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - What will you say at my funeral?

Episode Date: October 6, 2023

Big news ya’ll…The YFT Podcast is coming to YouTube! This is a terrifying endeavor that may lead to our cancellation, so please be kind to us during this trying time. Wells wants to know if Brandi ever gets WW (Wells Withdrawal) between recordings, if she’s going to speak at his funeral, and what she will say. He also cut caffeine out of his life so he’s a little less sharp than normal. (Fun fact though: decaf coffee still makes you poop!) Wells encourages everyone to not get close with people because then you’ll be involved in every aspect of their wedding and that’s very expensive and annoying. He also found some crazy things on the internet about a human defecating in a litter box and a children’s book about swinger parties. Your hosts then dive into Bachelor in Paradise (why is everyone wearing glitter?) and wrap up with some favorite things.  Don’t forget to rate, review, and follow Your Favorite Podcast! Plus, keep up with us between episodes on our Instagram page, @yftpodcast and be sure to leave us a voicemail with your fave things at 858-630-1856!  Thanks to our awesome sponsors for supporting this episode! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers:  BetterHelp — This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/favoritething and get on your way to being your best self  Factor — Head to FACTORMEALS.com/yft50 and use code yft50 to get 50% off  Article — Go to ARTICLE.COM/YFT for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more  Manscaped — Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code YFT at Manscaped.com 

All right, guys, a lot has changed over the last years. And if you're growing your e-commerce business, yeah, you can relate. Whether you're looking for better efficiency during the hectic holiday season or your business has outgrown your old shipping solutions, you need ShipStation to help you scale your business. ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiency with a robust all-in-one fulfillment system that integrates with over 180 of the most popular e-commerce platforms, marketplaces, and carriers. Listen, the holiday season is right around the corner. Odds are that you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce. If you're shipping, you got to do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches.

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print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code YOURFAVORITETHING to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code YOURFAVORITETHING. Do it. Alrighty then. How's everyone doing? Good. Great. Grand. Wonderful. Love that. I went to a concert last night and you'd be proud of me. I just had like two beers and I feel great today. I don't really have like a huge preamble today. I'm going to a bachelor party tomorrow. I'm now at the age where I don't want to go to bachelor parties anymore. Okay. I love this person that I'm

going to go celebrate, but I don't need to take seven years off my life for no reason. Okay. I love this person that I'm going to go celebrate, but I don't need to take seven years off my life for no reason. Okay. So I don't know why I'm doing it, but I have to, because I'm in the wedding. If I could give you the Y of tears out there, like one piece of advice, it would be don't make friends. All right. Let's call Brandi. That time to call her up. It is time. Time right now. Hi. What's up?

Oh, nothing. What do you mean, oh, nothing? You know, same shit, different day. That's what I say. Yeah? Hmm. Well, we're now officially on YouTube. I know.

We are YouTubers. I don't even understand YouTube anymore. I don't know if I ever really understood it, but apparently the kids are on it. Yeah. I just thought it was a place to go and look up things you didn't know how to do. Yeah. And that's what I used it for. And then all of a sudden my friends are, my friends are watching podcasts on YouTube. They're listening to music on YouTube. Yeah. It's gross. I don't know. I just didn't know. Yeah. So anyways, we're doing that now. So if you want to watch this show, I guess you can. I'm a little scared. I'm very scared. I'm being perfectly honest. This sounds

like the perfect opportunity for me to get canceled. Me too. Right. Yes. And like to say the wrong thing. And yes, I'm terrified. And like to say the wrong thing and yeah, so I'm terrified. So I'm really, I'm going to watch my words today. I always think I can do that and then I can't. Yeah, I can't either. So YFTers, cut us a little slack, please. Please. We're only human.

Yeah, we're only human. We're only human. Is that a song? Yeah, it's Imagine Dragons. We're only human after all. Don't put your blame on me. That's exactly how it sounds, by the way. Yeah. I don't know if it is

Imagine Dragons, but I imagine it is Imagine Dragons. It sounds like them. Yeah. Yeah. So I guess we have a good amount of stuff to get through today. Because Bachelor in Paradise. Well, I feel like I haven't talked to get through today. Mm-hmm. Because Bachelor in Paradise. Well, I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever. I talked to you last week.

Yeah, but last week we did this on Sunday. Yeah, that's true. And now it's Wednesday, the next Wednesday. Do you get, like, Wells withdrawals? No. Some WWs? Do you get some Wells withdrawals? No.

You might, actually. I don't think so. What do you think you're going to say at my funeral? Why are we thinking about that? Because when I'm gone, how much Wells withdrawals are you going to have at my funeral? A lot, I think. You think you're going to speak at my funeral? If they'll let me, I would love to. Who's they?

Well, I feel like there's a long line of people that are going to want to speak at your funeral. You have an insanely large family. That's true. Sarah's got a lot of friends and family on her side that are going to want to say some things. Yeah, I know. You know? I imagine myself being a ghost,

listing the whole thing and being like, guys, we got to wrap this up, all right? This is getting way too long. I got another body I gotta jump into real quick okay hear me out okay this is something I actually forgot

to talk about weeks ago yeah but one of my favorite things is this cute new movie on Netflix it's the cute girl Hayley Liu from White Lotus

you know Hayley it's her new Netflix movie so just like google her I'm sure it'll pop right up have you seen this it's like she meets a boy in an airport. They fall in love.

Very cheesy. Very cute. By the way, did you know that Hayley Liu was one of the first people I met in L.A. when I met Sarah for the first time at the night before the Emmy's party? Actually, I do kind of recall you saying something about that. She's lovely. I met her at Miley's party for flowers. We had like a little party

for the flowers, you know, phenomenon. And she was there and she was so sweet. Loved her. Anyway, what's the movie called? Love at First Sight. Yes, that's the one. So cheesy.

So cute. Highly recommend. By the way, we haven't even started the show yet, and you're doing this. Okay, but I'm circling back. Let me circle back. So it's a small spoiler alert.

So maybe just like fast forward 30 seconds if you don't want me to spoil this cheesy rom-com. But there's a character in this movie that has a funeral while they're still alive, so they can be here to enjoy the party kind of thing. And I think it's genius. Yeah, but what if no one shows up? That's really sad.

And then you do want to kill yourself. Everyone will show up. They'll feel too bad not to. Hadley and Oliver begin to fall for each other on their flight from New York to London. The probability of ever finding each other again seems impossible. But love and London may have a way of defying the odds. Love at first sight. I'll tell you what the probability is.

The probability of this ever happening in real life is zero. It should be called love at first flight because they're on a flight. Oh, you're right. The fuck? Hollywood? Missed opportunity. All right. So. Anyway. You're going. The fuck? Hollywood. All right. So.

Anyway. You're going to speak at my funeral. Have the funeral while you're still around, you know? Oh, I think I'm still going to be able to experience it. You think? Yeah. You're just going to be a little ghosty in the corner? Hell yeah.

That'd be great. I'll come check it out. And then I think I will be like, oh my God, so-and-so's getting on the stage. I got to get out of here. This is going to be too long. Going to be too. I should make a list of the hierarchy of people I want to speak. Like, anyone can speak, but, like, you know, Sarah needs to go first.

Totally. You're in the top five, I think. Oh, yeah, that makes me feel really good. So I was telling the YFTers before I called you, I'm going to a bachelor party. Hold on, do you wanna start the show first? Yeah, let's start the show. Okay, me or you?

I think it's you. Okay. Bros and hoes, you're listening to an episode... Bros and hoes. It's been so long you forgot how to intro the show. What is this? Bros and hoes, you're listening to your favorite thing podcast with, okay.

Yeah. Bros and hoes, you're listening to your favorite thing podcast with? Yeah. Bros and hoes, you're listening to your favorite thing pod... God fucking A. What's wrong with you? We go on YouTube and you forget how to fucking talk. Bros and hoes, you're listening to your favorite thing podcast with? Wells and Brandy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can tell you why I'm a little like not super sharp.

Because you partied last night? No. Well, I went to go see Brent Cobb last night. super sharp. Because you partied last night? No. Well, I went to go see Brent Cobb last night. Saw that. Which was fun at the Troubadour. It was just good to go out and get out, you know, see some live music. But I have cut out caffeine from my life. Oh, God.

I could never do that. I know. But everyone says like it's a good thing to do and you sleep better and yada, yada, yada. So I'm on like my, I think I'm a week into it. Do you sleep better? Yeah, I do. Really? Yeah.

But I also. I sleep just fine. I've never felt that caffeine really does a whole lot for me. Unless it's like a Celsius making me like super jittery. And I don't, I don't love that. Yeah. But most of the time coffee just makes me poop. And you can just drink a decaf coffee and it'll still make you poop.

Really? I've never had decaf coffee. Don't see the point. Yeah. Well, I've never had decaf coffee. Don't see the point. Yeah, well, I've been doing it. But anyways, I am a little like less sharp in the morning, but that's okay. But I was telling the YFTers before I called you that I'm going to a bachelor party

tomorrow. Okay, where at? Puerto Vallarta. Local? Oh. Yeah. It's funny because we're going exactly back to paradise. You are. I'm going to Punta Mita, which is a town away from Sayate where we film. I've now gotten to the point in my life where I don't want to go to bachelor parties anymore. Really?

At all, actually. Sounds kind of nice. No, I just don't need seven years ripped out of my life, you know, because that's what's going to happen. I just don't need seven years ripped out of my life, you know, because that's what's going to happen. You drink and you stay up and you freaking drink some more and you eat like shit and you're in Mexico. So then you're shitting shit all over the place, peeing out of your butthole. It's just a lot, you know, and I don't know. I don't know, but yeah.

I mean, here's the thing, though. Bachelorette parties are so not what bachelor parties are. They're very similar. I don't think so. You drink a lot. You don't sleep much. You party hard. Okay, maybe so.

I mean, I love this guy, so I'm going, but I do not want to go. I want to stay at home, get in bed early, you know, do my work, work out out be healthy but alas I'm going to take seven years off my liver and my body and my life and add a couple more wrinkles to the face and here's my suggestion to all the YFTers out there and that would be don't make friends ever because if

don't make too good of friends I think is really the key because if you just have acquaintances you get invited to weddings and things, but if you don't come, eh, it's okay. You know? No one notices. No one's shedding a tear because you're not there.

Right. But if you make too good of friends, then all of a sudden, you're in the wedding. And when you are in the wedding, let me tell you something, sister. You gotta go. You can't not go if you're in the wedding. Not only do you have to go, you have to go to all the things. All the things, let me tell you something, sister. You got to go. You can't not go if you're in the wedding. Not only do you have to go, you have to go to all the things. All the things, yeah.

So not only, you're flying to wherever you're going, right? You're getting a hotel, of course. You have to bring a date, usually. Rent a car. You've got to rent a car. If you're in the wedding, that also means that you're at the rehearsal dinner, which means you're coming in a day early. So that means you're paying for even more hotel, you know? So you got to go do

that. If you're in the wedding, you got to give a speech. Now I got to write something. Okay. And if you're in the wedding, you also have to go to the bachelor party. You have to do everything when you're in the wedding. So here's my thing. Why I have tears. When you feel like a friendship's getting too close, that's when you pull back. Just jump ship. Have a crazy night, you know? Maybe say some things you don't mean. Oh, my God.

Pull back a little bit. That's my advice to you. Okay. If you have two good friends, and they text you all the time, and they're always calling you, I don't need that. You need one good friend, and that's your spouse. And then that's it. I think. This is a hot take. Is it a hot take? Uh-huh.

It's a funny one though. I say just have a job that gets you out of going to the thing. Yeah, yeah, that's smart. That is smart. Sorry, I work weekends. You know, and these things happen on weekends and just can't make it. Dude.

But I remember I was kind of in Ben Higgins' wedding. I was like an usher or whatever. So that's like B team. Yeah, you had one foot in. Yeah, but then I booked Best in Doe and I called him and I was like, hey man, I'm sorry, I can't – I don't think I can make this. And he was like, I'm really disappointed.

And he made me feel so bad. So then I still went. I just, like, fucking worked all day Friday and then got in the red eye to get there. So then the job thing didn't even get me out of it. It just made my life even worse. Well, that's on you. I know. I should have dug my heels in. You're not cold-hearted enough to just say no, can't go. Not there yet. I'll teach

you my ways. But soon. All right. Quick PSA for those of you out there who rent. If you haven't heard of built, you're about to thank me. Earning points on rent is now a reality. When you pay your rent through built, you don't even have to check with your landlord to start earning points that you can use towards flights, hotel stays, fitness classes, and even your next rent payment. All right, let me break it down for you. There's no cost to join build. And as a member, you'll earn valuable points on rent and your everyday spending. Built points can be transferred to your favorite hotels, airlines, and even the ones you haven't heard of. There are over 500 airlines and 700,000 hotels and properties around the world you can redeem your built points towards. Points can even be redeemed towards the future rent payment and

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marketplaces, and carriers. Listen, the holiday season is right around the corner. Odds are that you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce. If you're shipping, you got to do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 89% off UPS, DHL, Express, and USPS rates. What, you don't want to save money? Come on. Deliver a better customer experience with the industry-leading features that help you find the best carrier rates, print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce

business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code YOURFAVORITETHING to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code YOURFAVORITETHING. Do it. Okay, I want to talk Bachelor in Paradise. favorite thing do it okay i want to talk bachelor in paradise have to but i think we should start with a couple of crazy things that i found on the internet okay so this is a woman who is responding to a question on tiktok and the question is what do you use to wipe your bum so i actually don't wipe my bum um when you think about it in nature So I actually don't wipe my bum. When you think about it, in nature, no other animal wipes after they use the restroom.

We're not savages, lady. Jeez Louise. So why do we do that? And I know there's got to be a benefit to not wiping. I don't really know what it is. I think I know something. I don't know what it is, but I think that this is right. But if God wanted us to wipe after we use the restroom,

we would have a built-in way to do that. God does want us to wipe, and I'll tell you why. Because God made us smart enough to invent toilet paper and bidets. Into our anatomy, you know what I mean? No, I don't know what i mean um so no i don't know what you don't i personally believe that wiping after using the restroom is not good for your health you don't know what so you think that having a bunch of shit particles all over your ass is good for your health copy chemicals are in toilet paper or in wipes. So I personally think it's best to just not wipe. But I stopped wiping about two years ago when I started using the litter box instead of a toilet.

Oh! Who is this person? Complete left turn. All right. We were going down Grossville. And then we just hop skipped And jumped to fucking nasty ass Cat land

Okay She started using the litter box This can't be real And I have noticed like I have not gotten as sick as often Now I know Correlation is not causation Okay I'll tell you what everyone listening to this story got sick Okay so I'll tell you what. Everyone listening to this story, you got sick.

Okay? So I don't know what that means. But, you know, I feel like my immune system has, like, been built up since I stopped wiping. And it's probably because I'm not exposing myself to those chemicals. Yeah, your body's immune system is holding on for dear life. And you know what I have to say to that lady? What the fuck is happening here? She needs a bidet for her toilet.

She needs a bidet for her litter box. Well, but that would solve all her issues. No chemicals. You still get clean. Okay, so I like to like put... Sounds like a win-win. I like to put myself in a situation where, like like I've gone home with this girl, okay? From the bar.

Why would you want to do that? I don't know. I'm just saying like put myself in the situation. I've gone home with this girl from the bar, whatever. I'm drunk and I'm like, yeah, she's okay. She's fine looking, I suppose. And then you get there and just imagine going down on someone like that. That's not what I thought you were going to say.

And I don't want to imagine that. And I can't believe you want to like that. That's not what I thought you were going to say, and I don't want to imagine that, and I can't believe you want to imagine that. Okay, just any guy. Her boyfriend, her girlfriend, her dog who greets her at the door and comes and smells her coochie-coo. No. And then, okay, so then

you're like, you know what? I gotta finish where I started, I guess. You push on through. You wake up in the morning, and she's like, I gotta take a shit, and then she goes and She squats over a litter box and you're like I can't believe you think you would make it to the morning. But yeah, oh I know Let's be fair. I wouldn't make it to the house I'm just saying like someone's gone home with her.

For sure. And someone's been like, dude, Susie. Her vagina smells like. This is so disgusting. I would like this conversation to end. It's not even dead fish. Okay. It's just.

You got to wrap this one up. I felt like I fell into a port-a-chot. All right. I got another one. Okay. Is it as bad? This one's weird, but like whatever. All right.

Okay. So this is a children's book so if you're not watching a youtube this guy is reading a children's book my parents are swingers just like me and tonight they're planning a swinger party mom went online to find some new friends. They do it like this every weekend. That's a lot of sex. I gotta say. I'm no swinger, but every weekend? Just getting fucking triple teamed? Dear Lord.

It starts with a contract and a bowl full of keys. I didn't know that. I didn't know the contract part. I've heard the bowl full of keys thing. But that's also, you can not drink and go to a swingers party, right? Like the bowl full of keys thing is just like when you go to a party and you're drinking, so no one drinks and drives, but you can be sober, get plowed by seven dudes and drive home. Yeah, but isn't that, isn't that how they pick each other? They pick each other's keys or something?

Oh, I don't know. Or did I make that up? But there's a contract. What do you think the contract says? Like, I don't have an STD? That'd be a good start. Yeah. Yeah.

Or, like, do you wipe your ass? That's a good one. Also, like, if I get pregnant, are you assuming responsibility for that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, like, do you shit in a litter box? Mm, it's important. Yeah.

Everyone looking for unicorns. Yes, please. They watch a few movies and give balloons to the boys. Okay. Do you think the movies that they're watching is porns? Probably, right? To get everyone in the mood, get everyone a little torqued. This can't be a real book.

The guy's reading it to you. He made it. He's a freak. Nope. There is like a crazy gremlin behind him right there. I don't know about that, but I love the balloons. The boys' condoms. Oh, yeah.

Everyone sleeps over and makes lots of noise. Oh, yeah. Everyone sleeps over and makes lots of noise. Okay, that's so sad. Like the little boy sleeping in the room being like, everyone's plowing my mom. It's so loud.

That is why every night I pray to have a swinger party for my birthday. Why would he want that if it's loud and he's annoyed? I think the kid doesn't know

what a swinger party is. Mom and Dad's Swinger Party think the kid doesn't know what a swinger party is. Mom and Dad's Swinger Party is available on Amazon. See? Mom and Dad's Swinger Party. Swinger Party. Swinger Party. Okay.

I'm looking it up. I'm confused as to why there was a jingle. See? I'm telling you. Something's weird. But anyways. What the fuck is happening here? Pretty amazing.

It's a rejected children's book. Oh, it was rejected. That's what Amazon says. Oh. It says, Mom and Dad Swinger Party, rejected children's book. But can I buy it somewhere else? They have a hundred other books.

About swingers? About different things. That's awesome. It says over a hundred cartoon dark humor books from this publisher. Something to trigger everyone. I am scared. It's amazing. Is it Brad Gross?

Is that his name? Yes. Yeah. Ghost. Ghost. Goss. I don't know. Well, Brad, how about this?

I just need you to shut the fuck up because nobody asked you, bitch. He scares me. Have you ever been to a swinger party? No. Do you know anyone who has? No. Me neither. Well, actually.

Oh. There were rumors about a couple, a friend, couple friend of mine 10 years ago, like when we were in our like mid-20s. Yeah. And there were rumors that they would do that, but I don't know for sure. Why don't you ask them? I should ask her. I should ask.

Well, I'm only friends with her now. They separated. I should ask. Oh, shocker. Uh-huh. He found a unicorn. Hmm. Yeah.

A unicorn a lot younger than her. Yeah. And prettier. Men are garbage. We need to find a soundboard button for Men Are Garbage jingle. There has to be one. Gotta be. Yeah.

All right, should we do B.I.P.? Yeah. Okay, I wonder if we should like start it with. Okay, B.I okay BIP episode two I made notes this time okay good yeah I had a feeling I take notes last time you did actually okay so the big thing that happens in this episode is that Avon arrives, right? Which makes Kylie very excited. The fact that this all happened so quickly is insane. Here's the thing. It's only day two.

Like more people come in like every day. Like it was like, I've been waiting for him. You've been waiting for less than a day. I know. I thought that part was a little weird. Yeah. That was something that was always surprising to me. And it was like, and then Jesse kind of like greets him and says, you're late.

You were one day late. Mm-hmm. We haven't even gotten to the first rose ceremony yet. Yeah. Olivia is bonkers. Mm-hmm. Yep. But she's not wrong.

No, she's not. And that's what's amazing about this episode. Yep. But she's not wrong. No, she's not. And that's what's amazing about this episode. Yep. Is that she says, she prognosticates, Will, you are a placeholder. Mm-hmm. You are an easy rose. This is her exact words.

And the second Ava comes, she's going to drop you like a bad habit. And gosh dang it, if that doesn't exactly happen. Mm-hmm. there was a part of me that really wanted olivia to go on the date with him the thing i don't like about that is then like aven gets the shit into the stick for everybody else's fuck up i don't know like i would i wouldn't love it for aven because like i think he actually really likes kylie well i think he did think that olivia was very cute though though. For sure. She's beautiful.

She is very beautiful. I don't know, like, what his stance is on toe-sucking, but, you know, who knows? Who knows? Sometimes the quiet ones are really freaky, you know? The quiet ones are always the freakiest. Yeah. You know? Uh-huh.

The freaking preacher's daughter? Come on. That girl's going to that swingers party with those kids. Oh, my God. You know what's funny about both of Kylie's dates is they start with like embarrassing events for the men. True. Will comes in and he falls in the water and he's so embarrassed, right? Will's was worse, I have to say. Will's was worse i have to wills was worse but even not being able to open a bottle of

champagne broke my heart and spirit uh was it that bad well as a bartender how do you not know how to work a wine key one that like really bugged me like have you never opened like just a normal bottle of wine all that screams to me is twist top guy, and I just don't know about that. Or he could be like me and have the fancy wine bottle opener. I think it's called the rabbit. It kind of looks like a sex toy. I feel like we've talked about this before. Yeah, I've got one of those.

Yeah, it's great. First of all, how do you not know how to open a bottle of champagne? It's pretty simple. And then when he breaks off the top, because you could tell he was like, I gotta get this off. And then he breaks it off. Then he gets the wine key and he still can't open it. I died a little bit when that happened.

Kylie did do like a complete 180. She did. She's so sweet about it all, you know, that it's like, I don't know. It doesn't, it doesn't hit as bad. It doesn't feel dirty to you? It doesn't feel as dirty to me because she's just so sweet about it all. Whereas like Olivia's out here with her claws out. But here's the thing.

Olivia does scare me just in general. Yeah. But Olivia has been right about everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's something to say about like Olivia's a very honest person. Yeah. She puts it all out there. And not that Kylie's not. I just think she like plays the nice

card. Like she rides that nice card, right? Which is fine. Like it's hard to see her in any sort of bad light because she's just so sweet. So I went to his watch party last week where he watched The Golden Bachelor with Gary, by the way. How's he? Just the sweetest, sweetest guy in the world. And the juxtaposition between that show, which is so saccharine sweet, like the cutest freaking thing in the world,

then into like toe sucking. And I don't have to taste her. She has to taste me. It's like, whoa, we went from zero to 60 real quick. Yeah. But what was hilarious about it was Will was there and Olivia was there. And Will tried to go talk to her and be like, hey, like, are we cool or whatnot? And Olivia is still mad at Will.

She's seen, I mean, I don't know her from anything, but I could see how she could hold a grudge. Yeah. I don't think she's ever let Nat go. No. But I wanted to be like, hey, guys, guys, guys, guys. First of all, we're like four months removed from this. And also, there's no cameras here. What are we doing here?

I know. It couldn't have happened faster for Kylie to forget about Will. Yeah. I just don't think she ever really liked Will. Yeah. I think she was very honest when she was saying like, you check all the boxes. You're so sweet. You're telling me all the right things.

Like you're such a catch. You're like on paper, you're perfect. But you could just tell the whole time to me that she just wasn't feeling it. Like there was just like the spark wasn't there maybe even though all the boxes were being checked. And we'll talk about why maybe that happened in a little bit because I think I see some red flags when it comes to Will and dating. We'll get there. It was funny because all the girls, it seemed like,

knew that Kylie really wanted Avon and didn't really want anything to do with Will. When they're all eating breakfast, and I think it's like Kat, it's like, hey, so just an FYI, I think you should be talking to more girls because, you know, it probably is not going to go your way. Like straight up is like being honest about it. And then you have the Aaron B love triangle with Eliza and Mercedes, which it's early still. Like I'm not really holding Aaron B at fault here. Like it's day one and a half. First of all, I think Mercedes is one of the prettiest women out there.

I love her. Out of everyone there, I think she's the one I would want to be friends with the most. Yeah. She seems very normal. She's very exotic looking. But then she's from like Iowa, which is like, what? I know. So funny.

I thought you were from like Miami or something. But I think that she's so cool and pretty. And so like I totally get Aaron. These are the two hottest chicks I've ever made out with in my entire life. Gonna do it. Yeah. I do feel bad for Mercedes because it does feel I made out with you yesterday and you haven't talked to me today. Right.

Little brutal. It seems like Aaron is not good at communication in any way, shape, or form. Yeah. I think it's great that he was trying to be honest with Eliza and tell her about the kiss, but his delivery and timing of telling her was so weird. I agree. It was just bad on all fronts. Like, they were just having a chat about how great things are going between the two of

them, and he's like, I kissed Mercedes. And by the way, I made out with someone else. It was just weird. It's like, I can tell he wants to communicate. I don't think he knows how. I don't know. But at least he's working on it, I guess. Hindsight 2020, right?

But the easy way to do that is to be like, hey, just so you know, it's super early here. And I've had meaningful conversations and had connections with other people. Just so you know. Because meaningful conversations and connections could mean I made out with her. I didn't take her to the boom boom room. I'm not getting engaged. You know, I had a connection with her. I could still see a girl

being mad though, if they found out that there was a kiss and it feeling like you downplayed it. But then going back to how he did it, like him just being like, I kissed her. It was bad. He should have started it by saying, hey, I just, I want to be honest with you about things. And like, you know, I'm going to tell you something that might be hard to hear,

but I just want to be upfront and I want you to hear it from me and not somebody else. Yeah. I kissed Mercedes last night, but I feel a better connection with you. Like he should have elaborated more. You can't just,

you can't just blurt out, I kissed another girl last night. Yeah. Like you got to preface it and then you got to expand on it. Fair enough. All right. So then Hannah B comes to the beach and my first thing is Jesse's acting of, what are you doing here?

It's not good. Jesse, you know, who's coming to the beach. I know. Don't. Yeah. Like, I don't understand why we're pretending that you don't know who's coming to the beach. Of course you do, man. I think the bit there is Jesse knows you're coming to the beach, but doesn't know why you're coming to the beach. That's the big misdirect in that whole thing, right? Like, is she there to date or is she not? Right. But anyways, I thought that was silly. I was like,

what are we doing here? Of course, he knows you're here. He booked your flight. He had to prep for like you coming down. Here's my thing. Hannah's great, right? And she is like bachelor nation royalty, but they are treating her like Barack Obama showing up to the beach. Yeah. And she is, it's all very awkward to me. It's like they've given her this role, you know, they've been like, all right, you're gonna go down there and it's gonna be really confusing. Like, is she here to date or not? And you can tell like she's unsure about the whole thing.

Yeah. And like she's so unsure, like she's not really selling it. And you can tell she feels a little uncomfortable and everyone else feels uncomfortable. And it's just all very awkward. I do love the like all the girls are like, if she's here, I'm going home. And it's like, what? I know. That's not how this works.

I don't understand. Why? Because she was the Bachelorette 10 years ago or whatever it was. That's the other thing is I don't know how old Hannah is, but I think a lot of these girls are a lot younger than her. Yeah. I would guess. So it's like, you're really like that intimate.

If anything, I would have, if I were Hannah, I would have felt the opposite. I would have been like, I'm going in here with all these hot young girls, you know,

and I'm like, you know, an older bachelorette or whatever. So it's just funny. It was the whole thing was just very funny. I'll tell you what I didn't love about it because I do love Hannah, but I really love Rachel.

Like she's the sweetest woman in the world. And it kind of degraded Rachel's role there. Right. Because it was all these women being like, oh, my God, look at the bachelorette. She's amazing. I should just go home. And Rachel's like, hold on. I was the bachelorette.

Like, what do you do? Yeah. That was the one thing that kind of like rubbed me the wrong way. And the fact that they were like, it was like Jesus came back. I know. Like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah. So she pulls two guys at a time.

So everyone's like, what's going on? And I think because I think she was engaged at that point. Well, that's the other thing is she's so open on social media about her relationship that I immediately was like, I know she just got engaged recently, but they were very serious. You know, so it's like, guys, she's got a serious boyfriend. Yeah. Like another engaged. Like, this is all kind of silly. Yes.

And I like the probably how the negotiation worked was like, hey, we want you to pull guys. Well, hey, I'm dating a guy, so I don't want the opposite to look like that. Okay, then they pull two of them, so it's like whatever. Then she like drops the card being like, we're going to have a – basically we're going to have a bonfire tonight. Everyone goes and gets dressed up. By the way, everyone's wearing glitter now. I know. I don't know if you noticed that.

Oh, yeah, sure did. I've heard that joke of like that glitter is the herpes of makeup. It is. It just spreads. It gets everywhere. It gets everywhere. Yeah. And like that's what's happening now.

It's like everyone just got it all over their body. I will say this. I like the bit of Hannah asking those hard questions. Yeah. So awkward. So awkward. And I know that Demi went to Bachelor Paradise Canada and did the exact same thing. Ah.

But Demi, I think, just doesn't give a fuck. Right. Probably a little better. Yeah. So I think it was like a little harsher than, because Hannah's just sweet, you know. I know. Nice woman. It was a good bit.

It got what you needed out of it. It made Jess feel weird because Sean was like I like Jess Rachel's just what the fuck is happening here she is but I'm telling you Rachel doesn't really like Sean yeah I don't I don't think so Sean's a placeholder Rachel's hoping somebody she actually likes comes down and I say play the game honey i say get it yeah i'm not buying it but yeah i don't you know it's rachel's probably just thinking to aaron like who you locked in on and it's like eliza and then you know of course mercedes is like what the fuck is happening here so i think the new game needs to be everyone has to drink every time you play that fucking sound.

Yeah. People are using it a lot this week. I know. We're going to get to me being sick of that button soon. I really just can't wait. You like it. You kind of do like it. I get the first and second time I hear it, and then I'm like, okay, I'll stop.

I'll stop. I'll stop. I'll stop. I'll stop. I do. I have found myself doing this in real life when something crazy happens, and I'm sitting next to Sarah. I'm like, what the fuck is happening here? Poor Sarah. No, Sarah likes it.

She's in. So we have the same sense of humor. Yeah, I know. That's why we work really well. Mm-hmm. So we have the same sense of humor. Yeah, I know. That's why we work really well. Mm-hmm.

And then a weird thing happens, and that is Will and Mercedes talking. Mm-hmm. She says really nice things to him, and, like, I don't know who hurt him in the past. The man starts crying. He is the most emotional man I've ever witnessed in my entire life. Right?

Is he okay? I don't know if he is okay. Sweet Will. And like, listen, Mercedes, I know you need to get a rose. I know. But there's a part of me that's like, if I was a woman and I was making out with a guy and he was weeping. Oh, this would, I couldn't last two seconds. I would be like, I got, I gotta go.

This is weird me out, man. I'm really sorry. I know. Like I low key, I want her to be really interested in him because I think they're really cute together. Yeah. And I think at Will's core, he is a great guy. But he has got to get the tears in check. He does.

He needs to fucking wrap it up. Tighten up. He's got to toughen up just a little bit. But I do think he's lovely. We were talking about it, and Sarah was like, I bet you he's a big mama's boy. Massive, which is a huge red flag in my past experience. But I'll let mercedes find that out but but i will say this though of all the people there i actually think that he is there

for the real right reasons he he really wants to get engaged to somebody well he's also the right age he's one of the older guys there he's more mature he's 33 yeah him crying and making out i'll be like what is happening i feel like i'm doing something wrong if i'm mercedes i don't think this is how our first kiss supposed to be with you weeping oh my god well did they even kiss i feel like no yeah they did they did finally they did it just took a second and then and then kylie's an interview uh up above and is watching it. And how sweet of her to be like, I love this. This makes me happy.

Yeah, but it also gets her off the hook, though. I know, but come on. It's not easy to like, even if she had like a little bit of feelings for him, it's not really easy to watch somebody else do that. So I don't know. I think that speaks to her good character that she can be happy for. You love her. I do. I like Kylie a lot.

Yeah. All right. I like it too. And then, okay. So then we have the rose ceremony, right? And Peter starts making the rounds. I, he, he's not my favorite. Okay.

Fair enough. I will say this. I really liked Peter. Really? Yes. He, this thing that happens on this, this rose ceremony, I did not like this version of Peter. But I will say that I spent a lot of nights just hanging out with him. He's like a pilot.

He flies jet airliners. He's an adult. He has like interesting things to say. So I really enjoyed him. But him making the rounds and I have to write like this column now for ET or something. And so they asked me like this column now for ET or something. And so they asked me about this particular thing. This is the way that I can relate it to everybody. When it's the guy's night to have the roses, the guy's weeks to have the roses, or whoever has the rose,

they get a little rose power hungry. Oh, I could see that. It's like a little bit of a power trip. Like they've got the rose. They know that people need to come to them, which is why it's interesting that Peter is going after Sam. Because when you have the rose, the people have to come to you to try to get it. And Sam's not trying to get his rose.

Yeah. But she is very beautiful. She hasn't shit for 10 days and she still looks ripped as hell. So imagine when she finally passes that poop baby, that's going to be a 15 pack. It's so early, right? And I think Peter is saying to himself,

well, I deserve to talk to everyone who's kind of available, right? And I want to talk to her. It's day three of us filming this show. Aaron S. doesn't own Sam. So he's like, I'm going to go pull her. I want to go talk to her. And I do love breakdancing behind that.

That part's fine. It's just funny to me. What I didn't like is that he pulled her and then started saying, like, not nice things about Aaron. Yeah. And that's the thing like things like the rose power trip like those things i think bring up character traits in people that wouldn't normally get brought up and i think it's a really good way to see who people really are and like what their character traits really are and so like he might be a nice guy and fun to talk to and super intelligent but i think that makes personality

traits surface that you might not always see. And I just didn't love like, why you got to bad mouth this other guy? Like, are you not confident enough in yourself that like you can pull this girl without having to say not nice things about somebody else? I just don't like that.

Fair enough. Yeah, I don't like the insinuation that he's immature. That was the kind of the whole thing. It's just a low blow. It's just like, it's just silly. And also like, who really is the immature one if that's like the tactic. Exactly. Maybe a little bit of a projection.

And then the end, is it Mercedes that's playing with the cockroach? Yeah, her and Rachel actually. Rachel playing with it, it was a twist. Yeah. By the way, did you notice the name? Gary? Yeah. Of course I named that freaking thing. You did? Yeah. And I had a voice. Yeah. By the way, did you notice the name? Gary? Yeah. Of course I named that freaking thing. You did?

Yeah. And I had a voice for it. Gary. Hilarious. I want to respond to some rumors. Okay. They kept saying it was a beetle. Yeah.

That was a fucking cockroach, guys. It looked like a cockroach to me. I don't know. I was like, you guys are playing with a cockroach. They're like, a beetle, a cow. It's a beetle. It's a cockroach. Just so you know. It's are playing with a cockroach. They're like, a beetle, a cow. It's a beetle. It's a cockroach, just so you know. It's a dirty, dirty cockroach.

Yeah, it's nasty. But honestly, cat cracks me. I love her. I love that she's so extra about her version of bugs. I think it's absolutely hilarious. I like her for it. I think it's relatable, too. I know a lot of women who get the fucking bug away from me. I live in the woods. Yeah. And there are bugs everywhere I think it's relatable too. Like I know a lot of women get the fucking bug

away from me. I live in the woods and there are bugs ever and it's fine. I'm used to it, but I don't want to play with them. I don't want them crawling all over me. You know what I mean? So like, yeah, I can relate too. It's like, I'm not going to scream and squeal about it, but I'm also don't want to touch me. Totally. All right. That's basically the entire episode. Yeah. I mean, I feel like we got a lot of cute couples going here. Yeah, it's good. I mean, you got Brayden and Kat. Well, which is going to be short-lived as we saw in the teaser.

Yeah, maybe. But you know what? Karma is a bitch, Brayden, and you were a little bitch on your season. And it's just coming right back around to you. It's funny because Rachel asked Kat who else she was interested in that she would maybe hope to see. And both guys she named are guys that I, like, they're some of my favorite guys that I've ever been on. Like, I think Tyler Norris is so fucking cute. Yeah.

Short but cute. He's actually not that short. He just looks so short next to everybody else. I don't know. And then Tanner, who I, he was so quiet on his season. Yeah. And I always said that I really liked Tanner and so I'm excited

for both those boys to come down and we'll see it looks like Kat goes out with Tanner but like sorry Brayden like

yeah kind of what you get alright so you got Kat and Brayden also the duck earrings and the duck swim shorts is too much it's a lot

it's too much it's a lot he looks like the cool aunt or Indiana Jones stoner. Yeah, it's funny. All right, that's, I guess, all the Bachelor stuff, yes? Yeah.

Okay. Do you have some fave things, bro, or what? Oh my God, I binged the hell out of Love is Blind season five. Have you seen it? No. Oh, it's good. Is it? You don't really watch Love is Blind, do you?

No, I don't. Okay, last season wasn't that good. This season is so good. Why? There's a lot of drama. And I think you would like it because of this reason. Like there's a lot of like, I don't want to spoil it. So maybe I should say spoiler alert just in case people haven't watched it.

So if you haven't and you don't want anything ruined, maybe fast forward like a minute. But there's just some interesting things they do this season. So two people end up having known each other before and it sounds like they they the two of them obviously know day one because they go in the pods and one of them recognizes the other's voice but they don't tell everybody else and don't tell the audience until like episode six wow so it just like it stirs up a lot of shit and it is juicy and it is good. And I think you would really like it. Okay. So yeah, I'm loving it.

I'm totally caught up. I definitely have thoughts, but if you haven't seen it, I don't know if it's really like worth talking about a whole lot. And like, I don't want to spoil it or people haven't seen it. And then, you know, that show, they released like six episodes and then like two weeks later they released more. So I think, you know, it'll be telling right now they're, they've all like gone on the Mexico vacation and now they're back in Houston living. The couples that have made it

are living in their little apartments together. So this is when like real life hits. So I'm curious to see how it goes, but it's juicy. I really think you should watch this season. Okay. I watched a horror movie called no one will save you. Oh, that sounds terrifying. We're now getting into like spooky season, right? Uh-huh. This was pretty interesting. It was a horror movie, but it's also an alien movie. It's with that girl, Caitlin Deaver,

who was in Booksmart, and she's been in a lot of stuff recently. Her name sounds familiar. Justified, unbelievable. Here's the tag. An exiled, anxiety-ridden homebody must battle an alien who's found its way into her home. No one will save you. It's this very, very introverted girl who lives by herself. She like sews, I think, and sells stuff on like Etsy. I think that's kind of her deal. She's like kind of is very happy living her life completely alone.

And then crazy weird circles start showing up on the lawn out front. Okay. Then one night, straight up an alien comes into her house. It's just 40 minutes of her running away and fighting and trying to beat aliens. More than one alien? There's a lot of aliens. Ah, are they like scary looking? Yes.

Why can't, why isn't there a world where aliens are just like cool and chill and like... Well, there are. There's plenty of movies like that. E.T. is one of them. He's still a little freaky looking. E.T. phone home. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's really good. She doesn't speak much in it. Like there's not a whole lot of dialogue. It's a lot of her just being like... So you liked this movie? I did. I like alien movies. Yeah, I know.

It's jam-packed full of fun. Okay. Yeah. Speaking of aliens, we started watching this documentary on Netflix called Encounters. Oh, yeah. I've seen this pop up. You have? Yeah. It's seen this pop up. You have?

Yeah. It's pretty crazy, man. Is it? The amount of UFO sightings that we've had in the past 70 years is bonkers. Mm-hmm. Mass UFO sightings from the last 50 years fuel a global mystery in this docuseries featuring eyewitness accounts, expert interviews, and new evidence. Encounters on Netflix.

So whole schools have seen and like interacted with UFOs. And it goes and finds they're now adults and is like, so what happened? And they all have the exact same story. There's this one guy who's like a pilot, owns a company and like a very well-to-do guy. And he's like, I saw a UFO. And then I saw like fighter jets following it. And so I told the news and everyone called me crazy. The army or the air force said there was no fighter jets in the air that night. Come to find out, of course there were. And they were lying. You know, it's like they made this

poor fucking schmuck who's like wife leaves him because everyone thinks he's fucking crazy oh no and of course 500 people saw it they had this like town council meeting where they were like okay if you think you saw something please come to this thing they set up 30 chairs 500 people showed up. Oh my god. We totally saw it. No. The gas lighting that this country's government has been doing to us is so fucked up, man. I saw it.

No, no, you didn't. That's gas released from solar panels. You're an idiot. It's good. Go check it out. You like aliens idiot. Damn. It's good. Go check it out. You like aliens. Yeah, I'd watch that.

Yeah. Have you seen this new Justin Timberlake movie yet? No. His new Justin Timberlake movie? Yeah, it's on Netflix. I have not watched it yet. I really want to, but it's like over two hours long.

Oh. So I haven't started it. Whoa. I can't remember the name of it. Reptile? Reptile. That's it. People are raving about it. Whoa. I can't remember the name of it. Reptile? Reptile. That's it. People are raving about it.

Really? Yeah. Tom Nichols is a hardened New England detective, unflinching in his pursuit of a case where nothing is as it seems, and it begins to dismantle the illusion of his own life. Reptile. Well, Benicio Del Toro's in it. I know.

Alicia Silverstone? Mm-hmm. Justin Timberlake? Looks good. Good cast. Mm-hmm. Okay, where is this on? Netflix.

Okay, I gotta watch that. Yeah, we're gonna have to watch that this week. Ooh, maybe that's tonight. Ooh, yeah. That might be a tonight thing for your boy. Mm-hmm. Musics? Let's see what we got.

I think there's a lot of collabs about to hit that I'm excited about. Oh, really? Casey Musgraves and Noah Kahan have been hinting at a collab. Yeah, that doesn't surprise me. I saw Olivia Rodrigo covered. She covered Stick Season. Stick Season, yeah. Very cool.

Well, I went to Brent Cobb last night, so he's got a new record out called southern star and he played a couple songs on it that were really good i really like this one this song called when country came back to town because it's all about when nashville started getting this influx of badass writers and singers and it's like he makes reference to like well his cousin dave cobb who's like the producer of all these other people that he mentions, like Jason Isbell and Chris Stapleton and Brandi Carlile and Kacey Musgraves and Nikki Lane.

Do you want to go on that? Yeah, let's do it. Okay, so what do you got coming up? A couple of horse shows, two weeks of horse shows actually about to start. And then I got a little gig in Vegas. It has not been announced, but i'll give the yf tears the um the exclusive announcement i guess uh i'm playing the pbr after party in las vegas on october 22nd should be cowboys everywhere my dream come true pats blue ribbon uh yeah like but uh no

like the beer pbr oh pbr tour oh like the rodeo. Rodeo, yeah. Fresh from bull riding. Exactly. Yeah. And it's at XS Nightclub at the Wynn, which is very exciting. So I'll be there. And then Halloween in New York City, Halloween weekend,

I'll be playing at Somewhere Nowhere. So I've got a couple gigs coming up. You know, I'm going to pop out to LA for a hot 24 hours and see my mom, so maybe I'll squeeze you in. Oh, thanks. We'll let you know. I'm going to a bachelor party, so there's a good chance that I just will be doing

the next show from a jail in Mexico. The Federal has got me. Oh, God, I really hope not. I hope not, too. I got friends in Mexico that work in personal security and they got connections, so let me know if you know good to know They're good to know one of them actually lives in put me to so holla. Okay. All right. Why have tears? We're now on YouTube. So go watch over there. I suppose if you want I

Don't even know what your name is. I don't know anything about YouTube. Not one thing. Yeah It also confuses me like sometimes when you're trying to log into something it'll make you go to YouTube for a code yeah I don't understand that I don't either technology man

yeah alright YFTers we love ya love y'all and we'll see you next week yeah k bye bye Bye. This podcast has been brought to you by Podcast Nation.