Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Working late, cause I’m a DJ

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

Everyone is on drugs except for your hosts so they’re suffering through a case of the exhaustion and the hungover. Too old for this sh*t!! They do their very best to be their very best for you today, and Wells has a solid list of fave things to get you through the week. They also cover hot topics in the news including people burying hamsters alive and shooting dogs before they flip the script and try to lighten the mood by playing a country song written by AI. They discuss names for your private parts before Brandi’s friend Mike arrives. I think we should just take this episode out back and shoot it, y’all. Cheers.  Favorite things mentioned:   Baby Reindeer  A Gentleman in Moscow  Under the Bridge  Fallout   Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver  Nobody But You by Brainstory    Thanks to our awesome sponsors for supporting this episode!   SKIMS: Shop the SKIMS T-Shirt Shop at SKIMS.com. Now available in sizes XXS - 4X. Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75! If you haven’t yet, be sure to let them know we sent you! After you place your order, select “podcast” in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.   Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your order when you use promo code FAVORITE at bollandbranch.com. Exclusions apply. See site for details.  Nutrafol: For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code YFT.     Don’t forget to rate, review, and follow Your Favorite Podcast! Plus, keep up with us between episodes on our Instagram pages, @yftpodcast @wellsadams and @brandicyrus and be sure to leave us a voicemail with your fave things at 858-630-1856! 

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Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped upside down and I'd like to take a minute just to sit right down. Today is my mom's birthday. So I need to remember to call her. So at YFTers, if you could remind me to call my mom at the end of this, because I don't want to, I don't want to miss it. And then I'll be the bad son, you know? I don't want to miss it. And then I'll be the bad son. You know? How's everyone doing out there?

I got to be honest with you. I am a little hungover. I went to the George Lopez Golf Tournament. It's a fundraiser for his charity, which is great. Raises money for kids with kidney transplants because he's a kidney transplant recipient, much like my wife. So it's a thing near and dear to our hearts. Also, it's golf, and I like to do that. And then he has a big party afterwards, and we drank a lot of tequila with George Lopez and his lovely daughter, Mayan, and a lot of other people. It was a lot of fun. But all that to be said, ya boy is sleep deprived.

your boy is sleep deprived. My voice is a little shot, but here we are once again, back at it in the old podcast world. What's going on? What's going on in the world right now? Why is Sean Diddy Combs like not in jail? I just don't understand. Is he in trouble? He seems like he's in trouble. They raided his house. But is he getting arrested for something? I don't know. But I feel like... He's already arrested? Maybe he'll be arrested.

I don't know. Anyways, I'm no lawyer. Hello. How you doing? I'm a little worse for the wear. Same. You're wearing sunnies. Yeah, it's that bad.

The Gafas. I have to. Gafas del Sol. There's no other option. Why are you hungover? Because I've done nothing but work since the last fucking time I talked to you. If you're working, why are you drinking? I haven't drank.

I just am sleep deprived. Oh, you're just tired. I'm so fucking tired. Oh. Were you at stagecoach? Was I at stagecoach? You were stagecoaching? Oh, yeah.

How was it? How was the coach of stage? Let me tell you what. Tell me about it. I'm too old for this type of labor. You've made this life decision to be this type of entertainer. I know, but you know what?

Like, I know I've said it before, but I now realize why everybody that does this is on drugs at all times. Yeah. It's really brutal to not sleep. Maybe you should consider doing drugs. I cannot.

Why? No, I did. I tell you about the mushroom that didn't do well for me. You took a mushroom at stagecoach. I took a mushroom in Vegas before my nightclub show. Oh, before the show? Yeah, because my mom was like,

it'll just give you some energy. You won't even feel it. It's a microdose. Oh, my goodness. You're not even going to notice. You're just going to feel more energy. Was tripping all fucking night long thinking one of

my decks was glitching and it was not everybody no everybody tried to come help me and they were like nothing's wrong with this and i was like yes it's doing a thing and then afterwards i brought up that i took mushrooms and my tm was like are you fucking kidding me that would have been nice to know yeah because i can't do that so it wasn't enjoyable the music wasn't wasn't enveloping you in a soft blanket of uh sonic fun no maybe it was the lasers and the cryo and a lot of stimulation i don't know god panic attacks i really wanted to be i wanted to be a mushroom girly because you just hear so many great things about microdosing. But no. I don't think so. Your mom's a terrible influence on you, by the

way. I know. Just take some drugs before work. It'll be great. She would say that they're from the earth. So is cocaine. I don't think you should do that before you go to work. No, cocaine's not natural. Yeah, it is. It's from the coca leaf. No, I think they put you go to work. No, cocaine's not natural. Yeah, it is.

It's from the coca leaf. No, I think they put some shit in there. No, they just like condense it and like power it up. Whatever. It's of the earth. That's the answer. Yeah, but everybody's on drugs. That's what I've just decided.

Here's the thing, Tish. Here's my rebuttal. Everything is from the earth. You can't rebuttal. Everything is from the earth. No. You can't have stuff that doesn't come from the earth. Where did it come from? Yeah, a lot of stuff is synthetic and like human-made in labs and shit. It still came from the earth.

So her thing is if it's grown. I guess so. Okay. Yeah. Well, I hold firm that your mom's a terrible influence on you. Oh, I agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're back in uh

nashvig just got back of course of course yeah sat on the fucking runway for an hour in palm springs they were like yeah it's air traffic's just really congested you know from lax don't you guys plan for this shit when you're making flight schedules don't you accommodate the fact that there's x amount of planes leaving lax at this time and x amount of leave in palm springs they did not i sat there for so long that i then missed my connection in dfw because nothing in dfw ever runs on time and i did not get home until 11 p.m i'm sorry i'm sleep boo my bad well we can do a quick episode if you want. Why are you hurting?

I was telling the YMTers before I called you. I went to the George Lopez golf tournament and gala for his foundation yesterday. And so Sarah and I got a little boozy. So you're sleep deprived. I'm hungover. This has got the ingredients for one heck of a ride, boys and girls. Here we go. I'm so sorry. But, you know, one person can only do so much.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I do have a lot of fave things, so. Well, that is great because I have literally watched nothing except for the newest episode of Palmer Royale. And I got to say, that show started so good and it's losing me. Are you still watching it or not? I never started watching it. I do think you'd watching it or not? I never started watching it. I do think you'd like it, but yeah, those last few episodes just haven't hit the mark, you know? Yeah.

Well, now I'm not going to watch it because you say it sucks. I waited it out. It sucks is harsh. I waited it out. It sucks is harsh. It's... Wait, hold on. If we're going to do this, we need to start a show.

Okay, okay. Miryu, I'm just going to go. I feel like you've got too much on your head right now. Bros and hoes, you're listening to Your Favorite Thing Podcast with... Wells and Brandy. All right, quick PSA for those of you out there who rent. If you haven't heard of Bilt, you're about to thank me. Earning points on rent is now a reality when you pay your rent

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on your rent payments today. All right, guys, a lot has changed over the last years. And if you're growing your e-commerce business, yeah, you can relate. Whether you're looking for better efficiency during the hectic holiday season or your business has outgrown your old shipping solutions, you need ShipStation to help you scale your business. ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiency with a robust all-in-one fulfillment system that integrates with over 180 of the most popular e-commerce platforms, marketplaces, and carriers. Listen, the holiday season is right around the corner. Odds are that you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce. If you're shipping, you got to do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your

customers with discounts up to 89% off UPS, DHL, Express, and USPS rates. What, you don't want to save money? Come on. Deliver a better customer experience with the industry-leading features that help you find the best carrier rates, print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code your favorite thing to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code your favorite thing. Do it. So, Pomeroy royale i think they came out of the gate too strong with the first few episodes you know and now it's not as good the last few episodes it's a little disappointing what's the show about it's about palm beach in the 70s 60s 70s i don't know

back then and it's about a girl kr Kristen Wiig, who comes to Palm Beach. She's poor as shit, apparently. But her husband has some trust fund, like family money. But he got cut out of the will. But the woman who is about to die with all the money, they're basically trying to weasel their way into the family trust. Okay. So Kristen Wiig's out here just lying all the money. They're basically trying to like weasel their way into the family, the family trust. Okay.

So Kristen wigs out here just like lying all the time, causing chaos, manipulating people to get this family trust. Basically. Tale is all this time. Truly. That's cool. So I'm not going to watch that one.

What's that on Netflix? Apple. I do feel like Apple is just like, it's almost like making TV shows is like a hobby for them. It's like, where's your couple? We don't really care so much. Yeah. Okay, do you want me to start with like the best stuff or the worst stuff?

Sure. That wasn't even an answer. I'm going to start with the best stuff. The best. This is going to sound like hyperbole and maybe it is okay okay the best show i've seen all year easily hands down is baby reindeer okay that's a strong statement i know and i kind of like i don't know sarah wanted to watch it really badly and i was like i don't know that's you know it's about this guy who's a bartender slash stand up comedian and he's a stalker

and I'm like I don't know whatever this is going to be whatever. We ripped through that thing in a single night. All eight episodes or whatever. It is, first of all it starts out gangbusters and it's kind of fun and funny she's a little bit crazy

and then it turns real dark. I'm talking wow real dark but here's the thing what i didn't realize sarah kept on trying to explain it to me the guy who's the lead in it this is his story this is a true story for him that's what i was about to ask if it was fiction the story follows writer and performer richard gad's warped relationship with a female stalker and the impact it has on him as he's ultimately forced to face a deep, dark, buried trauma, baby reindeer. So it starts out he's a kind of like a failing stand-up comedian comedian like no one laughs at his jokes he's kind of like a like a slapstick comedian like he brings a suitcase full of props right no one's laughing at his stuff he's not popular and he's bartending to kind of like make ends meet and this woman

comes in and she says she's got no money so he and he feels bad for her she's kind of overweight and she's got kind of like this like an annoying loud cackle laugh and she's like i don't have any money and he's like you know the coke's on me whatever so she starts coming in every single day and he gives her a diet coke or whatever and she just falls in love with him and you kind of watch this cola yeah yeah yeah coke i think is what it is so you kind of watch this progression of like this woman becoming more and more obsessed and you know she's a liar she says she's a you know a lawyer and you know works with like tony blair and high-powered officials but she's got no money so it makes no sense and then one day she goes to his comedy show and she laughs but

and it's like the first time that anyone's laugh at his stuff right all of a sudden with her laugh track other people start laughing and his comedy starts getting better so then he realizes that this person's kind of important for him like she's giving him something which is laughs which is like all this positive affirmation whatever it all the while he's kind of leading her on but not really he's just trying to be nice and not like let her down super hard you know she keeps on falling more and more in love with him and he kind of becomes obsessed with her a little bit you then start to see like how crazy she is right and that at that part it's

kind of funny and like you're like whoa this bitch is crazy right and then it turns into a whole different thing where sexual abuse happens he gets abused oh god and it becomes really really dark he really exposes himself a lot if half of this story is true it's insane it's an insane story and the ending albeit like not what i wanted is such an amazing beautiful ending and hard to watch and like i walked away from it being like, you know those movies that you think about or those shows you think about for days afterwards? You're like, oh my God, this is this show.

Yep. I can't tell you anything more other than Run, Don't Walk 2, See Baby Rain. It's so good. It's so fucked up, though. So did Sarah watch it? Yeah. Yeah.

And she liked it? Loved it. We ripped it in one. My sister sister likes it I'm on some group chat I don't know why she thinks I've watched this show I'm on some group chat about it Well go watch it Yeah I need to I need to go rot for two days and just watch a show

Yeah But I'll just take like most of the day today I think Die die Yeah okay We'll just go back to bed Okay I'll just take the reins on this show uh up next oh so i finally watched rebel moon oh and i agree with you the first one's better but it's still fun totally yeah like your complaint was i liked it when we were in space and like you know going to

different worlds and this one obviously is just taking place on that one planet, on that moon, I suppose. I do like the war strategy that they use. I think that was fun. My only complaint is, so Rebel Moon is very kind of similar to Star Wars, if you haven't seen it. My only complaint, there's a robot, a droid, who's like a badass fighter. He doesn't fight. Yeah. And you're like, it's Anthony Hopkins doing the voice,

and you're like, hey, Anthony, let's get in the fight over here guy people are dying left right and center you know i was like we need more of this guy in here and then finally he like comes to life and you're like where have you been buddy we've been fighting a war over here over grain also if you have ships that can traverse the cosmos how is grain your big problem? I don't think it is. I don't get it. Nah. Let's get some hydroponics systems over here.

You know? Mm-hmm. Grain? Yeah, they're fucking bringing people back to life and shit. Like, come on. Yeah, I know. We don't need grain. We don't need grain.

All right? We can make some synthetic thing. Spoiler alert. Okay. Massive, massive spoiler alert if you have not seen this Fast Forward 30 seconds. Okay. How fucking crushed are you that Mikael Huseman dies? Yeah, someone has to die.

Those are the laws. But who I am. I know. I thought it was going to be her. I would have preferred her. I know. She was kind of annoying. I thought it was going to be her.

But now that opens up because I guess Zack Snyder wants to do a third one, but Netflix hasn't bought it yet. Hey, Netflix, what are you doing, guys? Let's buy it, okay? I want a third one. I want to know. Bring Charlie Hunnam back. That's the thing. This is an opportunity for Charlie Hunnam to come back.

This is what I think happened. They didn't have enough money to pay everybody. So they paid them both in the first one. And then the second one, they were like, okay, Mikhail Huseman, you're just you. We'll pay you. And then we're going to kill you. And then the third one, Charlie Hunnam's back in. Okay, okay, genius.

I don't know. I'm no accountant. Because, yeah, it's kind of crazy that he just dipped, you know? Yeah. We started watching Gentlemen in Moscow. I read the book. I think I talked about it on the show, I don't know, probably a year or so ago. It is so good. It's a pretty good representation of the book. It's Ewan McGregor, who's so funny. And when I heard that they were making this, I was like, I wonder

if Ewan McGregor can pull this off because the character in the book is so very funny. I was like, this is a lot of subtle comedy that he's going to have to do, but I think he does an amazing job. A Russian aristocrat is spared from death and placed on house arrest while the Bolshevik revolution plays out before him. A gentleman in Moscow on Paramount Plus and Showtime. Where did Showtime go, by the way? I had the app.

Good question. And now it's gone, and everything's on Paramount Plus now I had the app. Great question. And now it's gone. And everything's on Paramount Plus now. I think you can watch it. I think it's on Paramount Plus. I don't really know. It's also on Amazon, I think. Anyways, yeah.

So this takes place during the Bolshevik Revolution, where basically in Russia, they dethroned all the oligarchs and rich people. And basically there was this uprising, communism or whatever. So the people take over. He's this rich guy in Russia who's living in this really swanky hotel. But he's written like kind of like a beautiful poem that it gives a lot of hope to the rebellion, I guess, to the uprising. So they spare him like they don't kill him or put him in jail because of this poem.

But he's got to stay in this hotel and and he's been taken from his nice suite. Now he has to live in the helps quarters. And then it's just him being stuck in a hotel and kind of becoming friends with everybody in the hotel, and he befriends this little girl, and it's really cute. Anyways, A Gentleman in Moscow, very good. I would suggest the book if you are an avid reader before the show, but if you don't do that, then just watch the show.

Where is the show? Oh, it's on the Showtime one? Showtime Paramount Plus. You know how we've been wanting True Detective to be as good as it was the first season? And it just never was. Well, fear not, YFTers, because there's a new one that's, I feel like,

almost as good as the first season of true detective and it's a show called under the bridge have you heard of this did you talk about this last week i don't think so i talked about wanting to watch it oh yeah this is the one with uh lily gladstone who was in killers of the flower moon killers of the yeah yeah reena verck a 14 year old girl went to join friends at a party and never returned home. Seven teenage girls and a boy were accused of the savage murder. Hulu's under the bridge. So it's based on true events.

So the main character is Riley Keough. Oh, yes, Elvis Presley's granddaughter or whatever and was in... Yeah, yeah. What was that show that you guys all loved? She's been in a lot, but Daisy Jones. Daisy Jones and the Six. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's the main character.

She comes kind of back home and she's like writing a book kind of like about her like upbringing. And you get the sense that like someone died in her past and she's like writing this book about a friend who passed away. And so she's kind of like staying with her parents and gathering information before she goes back to New york and starts writing the book and then while it happens this uh this young girl who's in of indian descent gets found murdered and she's in the water and they find her body so then all of a sudden the story changes from like what she was writing about to what this is now and she befriends all of the girl who died, all of her friends or so-called friends.

And starts kind of like raveling the case. And it's super, super interesting. You don't know where it's going to go. Like, in the first couple episodes, you're like, okay, I know who the murderer is. Like, you know, and then you're like, oh, no, it's not that person. Really, really good. Highly recommend Under the Bridge. Okay, that sounds really good.

I would rather watch that, I feel. Than what? Than Baby Reindeer. I gotta say Baby Reindeer's better. Listen. Okay. I watched Under the Bridge first because I didn't want to watch Baby Reindeer,

but then when I watched Baby Reindeer, it blew me away, sister. Okay. I finished Fallout. And? Love. Really? Loved it.

Loved the ending. I'm excited because it looks like season two is Fallout, new Las Vegas, which I think is a video game. Discern that from the dorks on TikTok who are talking about this. Really, really good. Fantastic. There's not much more I can say other than go watch Fallout. Did you ever have a hamster when you were younger? No, I wasn't allowed for some reason.

Really? Yeah. I also really wanted a bunny and I wasn't allowed to have that either. So I've been seeing this on TikTok. People talking about hamsters. Everyone had hamsters growing up and they die and you're like, oh god and you gotta go bury the hamster or whatever.

Well, come to find out, new information has emerged about hamsters and apparently hamsters sometimes hibernate. So if your hamster died during the winter time, might have been just hibernating and you buried a

live hamster in the winter time. No. Yes. Not all hamsters hibernate, but some species like the European hamster are true hibernators that sleep for long periods during the winter. Other species like dwarf ham hamster are true hibernators that sleep for long periods during the winter. Other species like dwarf hamsters typically do not hibernate, but may enter a related state of hibernation called topor.

Topor involves lowered body temperature that allows the animal to survive unfavorable environmental conditions. Barely can sense a heartbeat, very shallow breathing. I got a feeling a bunch of you guys out there were killing your hamsters. I know it's just hibernating. That's really fucking sad. I know. I hate that you told me this. This is going to haunt me.

I know, but we need to put the word out. And I didn't even have a hamster. We need to put the word out to everyone out there. We do. You know? PSA. Save the hamsters. Also, why are you getting a hamster anyways?

You know what I really wanted more than a hamster or a bunny? A chinchilla? A ferret. A ferret. Yeah. How fucking cute are the ferrets on a leash? They kind of look like little snake rats. I love them so much.

I don't know why. I've always been obsessed. Why don't you get one? You've got a million other animals. Also, the other thing I was this fucking close to getting in college was a sugar glider. Do you remember those? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Those things are cool as fuck. Yeah. They glide around. Yeah. But at night and then during the day they sleep. So the idea was that I was at college and I was like, well, I'll just carry him around a little pouch with me all day at school and he'll snooze in

the pouch and then I'll get him a little cage and you can fly around in the cage at night. You know, did you ever get one? I didn't. Yeah. Really wanted one, though. Well, I just remember my friend Alex Swartz had a hamster. And I do remember it dying and us having to go bury it out in the backyard. And I'm pretty sure. Was it winter? I'm pretty sure it was during the wintertime. I think he left for, like, Thanksgiving or Christmas.

Oh, it was Christmas because he would always go to Hawaii for Christmas. And i'm pretty sure when he came back it was dead or was it so sad so anyways a lot of people were just fucking burying hamsters alive you know this is just a fucking prime example of why people shouldn't have animals unless they're going to be knowledgeable about their care speaking of did you see that, is it like North Dakota Congresswoman or whatever wrote a book? And I guess she's like Trump's like front runner for VP. In her book, she tells the story of she had a hunting dog. They bought a hunting dog and the dog wouldn't learn to hunt. So they killed it. What? A puppy. And she doubled down on it too she was like hey listen this book is the stories of my life and this happened and it was a worthless hunting dog so

we had to put it down oh my god dude you can just have a dog you doesn't have to be a hunter also woman it's a woman yeah well she's fucking canceled no shit also i love the idea of a pr person being like hey let's know let's not double down on the murdering of the puppy thing you know let's walk that one back do that you know if you are going to run for president or vice president maybe let's walk back the killing puppies thing just a thought i don't know i feel like trump would be down with this and i feel like like this, you know, just goes, I mean, he sends horses, he ships horses to slaughter. That was all him. So, you know, there's two people just down with killing animals, apparently.

Why does he sell horses to slaughter? Because he needs glue? Well, he just passed the law that allows it, which is really fucked, you know? I don't, educate me. I have no idea what you're talking about. So horses can't be killed for slaughter in the United States. What does that mean for slaughter? But he passed a law that allows them. Killed for slaughter in the United States. What does that mean for slaughter?

Killed for slaughter. Like they slaughter horses. For meat? Meat, glue, glue out of their hooves. Okay. Yeah, people eat horse meat in other countries. So you can't raise them to slaughter them like cattle? You can't slaughter them at all in the United States.

But he passed a law that allows them to ship to Mexico to be slaughtered. So how do we get our glue? I don't fucking know. Cows probably. Do we just wait for horses to die and then we get the glue? No, I'm sure they slaughter cows for it because that's probably allowed since we slaughter them for meat anyway. Yeah.

All that to say, yeah, it sounds like, you know, just can't we get someone else? You mean you don't want the guy who's sending horses to slaughter and the girl who's murdering puppies? Sure don't. Anybody else.

The old guy? Preferably not Biden either. Just someone else. What about the guy that can. Anybody else. Wait. First of all, don't say who you're voting for. You know who I really want to run for president is Matthew McConaughey.

Why? Because I just love him. Okay. He'd be a love him. Okay. He'd be a good president. Okay. So let's see. I've gone through all the things that I liked. I talked about how we've been murdering hamsters.

I'm so upset about that. I know. I'm upset about horses to slaughter. What about donkeys? Can donkeys go to slaughter? Donkeys go too. They all get shipped to Mexico. It's so sad. You've got to pay more attention. This is the whole issue

I tried to raise awareness about with the Free Wild Horses organization. I didn't know we couldn't ship horses to slaughter. You know? I didn't even know that. I don't listen to you on this podcast. You don't listen to me on Instagram. I saw the horses thing, but I just assumed it was like you want more wild horses or something.

There was never a thing of like, Donald Trump is passing legislation to slaughter horses. The BLM is rounding them up on the grounds that there's too many animals on the land. And then they get shipped to Mexico to slaughter. And then they replace the horses with fucking cattle that are owned by private ranchers. The BLM? This is also a whole other conversation. Why do Black Lives Matter have any...

The Bureau of Land Management. That makes more sense. I didn't know why people who are advocating for Black Lives hate horses so much. Got it. No, it's the motherfuckers with their helicopters and, you know, small dicks out there harassing wild horses. Yeah, it's that got it got it got it well i would love you to uh enlighten us more about horse culture because i don't know

well i mean if you're inviting that conversation i would love to have somebody on from the free wild horses organization and we can really give a ted talk that sounds boring i just need you to tell me about it you know i just did. I saw AI wrote a country song. I thought we'd play that. It seems pretty funny. Oh. Gonna try to kind of flip the script here because it's been kind of dark, I feel like.

You know? We've been killing hamsters. We've been killing hamsters. Horses are dying because of the Black Lives Matter movement. All right, here we go. I hope you guys enjoy this. I got beer in my boots,

dirt on my truck, corn on my mind, and a gun up my butt. It's a small town, at least there's dirt, at least there's beer and trucks and shirts. Beer in trucks,

dirt kicks up, guns in butts, beer in trucks, dirty boots, dirty beer, dirty butts. Let's all cheer for the beer. It floods the trucks in mud, the cars are loud, the butts are loud. Got a beer on my plate, a biscuit in my boot, a gun in my butt.

It's like it's true, beer in trucks, dirt kids slug. sounds exactly like lu Bryan, honestly. Guns and butts. AI. Genius. I like that one. I'd listen to that. I got something else on Instagram. Let's see what this is.

Oh, this is a little girl who wrote a song called I Wonder What's Inside Your Butthole. Ew. Yeah, you know. Why would she wonder that? Kids wonder crazy things. I wonder what's inside your butthole. I wonder what's inside your butthole.

Yeah, what is inside your butthole? Maybe there's astronauts and maybe there's aliens. What? I wonder what's inside your butthole. What's inside your butthole? I always wonder. What? If I said the word butthole as a child, I would get my mouth washed out with soap. Really? And meanwhile, this mom's just videoing it.

Wait, hold on. First of all, what if there are aliens and astronauts in your butthole? That's cool. Well, there's not because... There might be. There's definitely not. I mean, you don't know, like at some atomic level, string theory. But string theory but hold on interesting you said this you consider butthole a bad word oh my mom did when i was a young child the same woman that told you to take hallucinogens before work yes

got it um yeah she's changed a lot she has but hold on what did you call that area of your body as a child i don't know i don't know as a child? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Could you say like your butt? Here's the thing. I'm pretty sure I was using it in the context of,

Trace, you're such a butthole. You're a butthole. Yeah. Which is such a great burn, by the way. We got to bring that back. Pretty good, huh? I'm bringing that back. Yeah.

That's what we're doing. In this episode, we're bringing back the butthole. Sounded weird, didn't it? What did you call wieners as a kid? Like, what was an acceptable word for you to call wieners? I don't know, actually. In our family, you can say pecker. I want to say maybe pee-pee.

Yeah, your tally-whacker? Something. What did you call vaginas? The JJ yeah that sounds right what do you i just don't recall talking about private parts you don't really you have so many siblings what's the thing that you got in most trouble for as a kid probably beating up trace i did that a lot i think so why did you beat him up he it was just too easy you know oh jesus yeah it was too easy i was i was mean to trace as a kid for sure why um we're so close in age we're like a year and a half apart so we were just like constantly fighting yeah um until so i really i did i bullied the shit out of him and then in ninth grade he finally got taller than me and we were in a fight i was harassing him i'm sure and he shoved me up against

the wall and twisted my wrist and fractured my wrist wow good for him and my parents were like good for you trace yeah did he really fracture your wrist or are you just like pretending that that's no i wore i wore a brace for weeks wow he's very strong it's like superhero he was ninth grade wasn't before i really i really i gave him some shit you deserved it i know i did should we talk about stagecoach or like no tell me all about it i saw that um who's the guy that wears sunglasses all the time eric church yeah i heard everyone left his show because it was so boring oh yeah yeah i so i didn't i didn't see that i had to google it yesterday because i was curious. Yeah. What happened? Apparently, I can't say I'm a big Eric Church girly.

Like, I don't really know his music. But I know he's a massive country artist, like one of the biggest, I think. Apparently, he did a set where like the first hour was gospel songs, like acoustic with a choir. Just not what his typical show is, I guess. And then he was doing all this gospel stuff and then went into like a cover of gin and juice or something. Hmm. Interesting. Which sounds interesting. And apparently he just didn't really do any of his own songs and didn't didn't put on a normal show and people weren't pleased. Got it. Got it. Got it. Did watch Posties set. God, he's so fucking cool. He did an entire set of just old country covers.

And he absolutely slayed it. It was so sickening. He covered Tyler Childers, which was cool. And it was just really, really epic. And I just love him. He also came out with Morgan Wallen at the end of his set. And everybody just lost their shit. Were there any chairs involved?

No, no chairs. Morgan was pretty tame. I've never seen Morgan perform. This was my first time. chairs you know morgan was pretty tame yeah um i've never seen morgan morgan perform this is my first time and you know what he he's really fucking good i think he lives up to the hype really like he sounded great and he's got like just tons of fucking hits like i knew almost every song it was kind of nuts it was crazy he was on american idol i know you know by the way i've been watching american idol we We desperately need Simon Cowell back. All right?

We need someone. Do we? Yeah. We need someone telling some hard truths to these kids. Okay? Because they're all too nice. I could see that. All right?

Lionel Richie's too nice. Luke Bryan's too nice. Luke Bryan. Yeah. Luke Bryan is too nice. Katie Perry's still there. Katie Perry. Katie Perry's the only one that can be kind of mean

she was also why does she wear gloves all the time uh but i was watching and i was like i'm not impressed with really any of these people we need simon cowell to be like you're a garbage human you should never be doing this again you know that's what we came for we came for a british guy berating people okay and now what do we but you can't do that anymore, I feel. I was talking to Sarah about this. I think that's true. I think everyone's so scared of getting canceled that they are lying to everybody. I know.

And so I'm going to put my hat in the ring right now. If there's another reality show that needs some judges, I will tell some hard truths. Oh, okay. What's that noise? My fucking dog. Somebody's here. I don't know who it is. It's a weird car.

I don't know. My dogs are going nuts. I think you should do a show in sunglasses all the time, by the way. You look very cool. It's kind of a vibe, honestly. Yeah, it's kind of a vibe. I kind of love it. It's better than seeing how fucking tired I look, you know?

Yeah, you look great. You know, I just, seeing how fucking tired I look, you know? Yeah. You look great. You know, I just, I'm too old for this. Are you? Yeah. I saw everyone and their freaking mom was at the airport in Palm Springs on Monday morning and I ran into Kristen Cavallari. Cavallari? Cavallari? How do you say her last name?

Do you know? Calamari. And she and I were like, hello. Oh my God. I feel like death. I'm too old for this. Was she with her Oklahoma boys? Montana boys.

She was with her singular Montana boy. They're pretty fucking cute together. I'm not going to lie. Oh my God. Mike's here. I got to go say hi. Fuck is Mike? Five seconds. Who's Mike? BRB. Okay. This show is going swimmingly.

I'll tell you guys a joke while she's gone, because she doesn't like my jokes, you know? And I feel like you guys do. So yeah, four men on the Titanic, when it hits the iceberg, the waiter says, we need to get to the lifeboats. And then the teacher says,

well, we need to save the kids. And then the lawyer says, fuck those kids. And the priest says, do you think there's enough time? Okay. That's all I got. Hopefully she comes back soon, because... Fuck those kids. And the priest says, do you think there's enough time? Okay. That's all I got.

Hopefully she comes back soon. Maybe I should call my mom. Back. Is she back? Hi. Who's Mike? Mike trained Astra when she was a puppy. He's the dog trainer.

Oh. And he is training my friend Emily's puppy. And I forgot I told her she could come over here because Mike's here to like – Mike's had her puppy for like a month. And he's here to like give her like the rundown of what she's been learning. Yeah. So I said she should come over here where there's like all the animals to distract because sometimes when like the trainer's here, the dogs are just on their best behavior because like he's alpha. But if you give them like donkeys to be distracted by, then they'll actually act up and then he can actually correct them and show you what to do yeah he's truly the best dog trainer as he is the best girl in the whole world i wonder how he feels about the gentleman from south dakota that um probably not great shot a puppy because it wasn't a good

hunting dog she shot it i think that's how she killed it, yeah. I hate her. I know. Like, politics aside, you're kind of a piece of garbage, baby. Also, Sarah and I were talking about this, too. If you have a hunting dog, generally that means that they're, like, full-blooded, you know? Like, you probably paid money for it. I'm sure someone would be like, I'll take the pure-blooded Labrador Retriever, gold German short hair, whatever you got. Yeah.

Now, let's just go back and take it out back and shoot it in the head. Okay? Okay, I hate this so much. And then we're going to run for president. Do you follow hockey at all? No. Let's end this thing, huh? This has been a lackluster one.

Let's take it out back and shoot it. Yeah, let's. Yeah, the Preds are in the playoffs. Love this for us. The proverbial let's put this dog down and end the show. Do you have any Muzaks? You were just at stagecoach. You didn't hear anything that you thought, you know what, that was cool.

I'm telling you, your girl was really working most of the time. Well, not working on this show, that's for sure. Working on the things that pays me money. All right, well, I got something. You can go out on it. You got. This is a band called Brain Story. Have you heard of them?

No. I like it. It's kind of like neo-funk soul. This is a song called Nobody But You. You want to go out on it? Sure. What do we got coming up? Thank the freaking Lord I'm home for 10 days.

Yeah. Praise him. And then May 9th, I'll be in Calgary, Alberta. Alberta, Alberta. Cool. I'm playing at a spot called Cowboys Dance Hall. So for all the Canadian fans, come on out. Come on.

After that, I got Vegas on May 12th. Jeez Louise. I got Hangout Fest May 18th. Love it. And they just announced today that I'll be at EDC Vegas on May 19th. Cool, cool. So yeah, I got some irons in the fire. All right.

Well, I love it. Got some irons in the fire. I'm coming to LA for Tish's birthday When's that? Come over, have a drink May 13th Okay, I'm there We'll probably do a little low-key house hang As long as she doesn't try to drug me

She might I guarantee you there will be mushrooms on site I'm not doing that. I'll have a beer, and then I'm going to go home. I'm old. Okay. All right. Well, I have tears.

We love you. We love you guys. Sorry we're hungover and tired today, but you know what? That's life. You get us in the real, in the raw. Yeah. Yeah. But we'll do better next time.

Yeah. Anyways, this is a song called Nobody But You, Brain Story. Okay, bye. Bye. Bye. Nobody but you. Nobody, nobody but you. Nobody but you.

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