Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - You were hotter before

Episode Date: December 8, 2023

Wells just got back from another wedding and would like to once more reiterate that he DOESN’T WANT TO GO TO ANY MORE. Thanks but no thanks for the invites. We got a lot of responses to our inquiries to have a Mormon come on the pod, so stay tuned for that. Brandi low key bullies Wells for a bit then they head into the final Bachelor in Paradise recap of the season. But where is the after show? The people demand an after show…. There are questions that need answers. Wells shares a horrifying story of porn in an Uber and Brandi shares that she is liking the Crown a bit less now.  Fave things mentioned:   May December  Cabin Song by Billy Strings  Thanks to our awesome sponsors for supporting this episode! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers:  Prose — Go to prose.com/yft for your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 50% off your first subscription order today PLUS 15% off and free shipping every subscription order after that  BÉIS — Right now, BÉIS is offering our listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/YFT  Article — Go to ARTICLE.COM/YFT for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more  Jenni Kayne — Find your forever pieces @jennikayne and get 15% off with promo code YFT at jennikayne.com/YFT! #jennikaynepartner  Don’t forget to rate, review, and follow Your Favorite Podcast! Plus, keep up with us between episodes on our Instagram pages, @yftpodcast @wellsadams and @brandicyrus and be sure to leave us a voicemail with your fave things at 858-630-1856! 

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print labels, and make customer service a breeze, dude. Scale your e-commerce business with shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code YOURFAVORITETHING to sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's even more savings. That's ShipStation.com. Code YOURFAVORITETHING. Do it. Simple, but where have you gone? It's getting harder. So tell me how I'm gonna let you in. Something, something. So if you have a minute, why don't we go? Well, I have returned from yet another wedding.

They never end. This is my ninth wedding of the year. And I've decided that I'm no longer taking friends. We are done with the friendship taking. I'm only taking applicants, applications for new friends that are vehemently anti-wedding. Not to say that I didn't have an amazing time at the wedding. I did.

I just don't want to go to any more of them at all. And here's the rub. They just invited me to go to Gary's, the golden bachelor's wedding. I mean, I celebrate his love, and I love who he chose. So I'll be about that, by the way. But another wedding? I don't have it in me. Don't have it in me.

All right, let's call the brand guy. Time to call her up now. It is time. Answer the phone, Brandy. Hey. What's up? No, just put on some fucking makeup. Must be nice to be a guy and just like not have to do that.

Well, guys can put on makeup. They can, but they don't. So I could say the exact same thing to you. No, it's different. You don't have to. I do. Says who? Society.

That's not true. What's her name? Pamela Anderson. Yeah, she just went out on the carpet without any makeup on. I know, but she's Pamela Anderson and she can do that because she's fabulous, you know? Not for nothing, but she kind of probably did need some makeup. You don't need anything. You are young and fresh and farm bodded.

The farm bod I'll take, but the rest of it, I'm getting up there. I mean, you know, because you're older than me. We're getting up there. We are. We are getting up there. But... Freaking tragedy.

I still look great though. Wow. Wow. I would never do that to you, even if you did look like shit. Someone's gotta keep you in check. Why? Because.

Because I have self-confidence and that's a rude thing to say to somebody. I wasn't, I didn't even say anything. You said, I didn't say it. I't say it I made a sound Let's say I said this Here's some soup that I made for you Do you like it? And you went

That would mean no you don't like the soup But you don't know that for sure Yes I do You're assuming Would I be wrong though? Yeah exactly And you know I would never i would never do that even if you did look like shit i would never say you know why because i'm a gentleman and you my lady are not a gentle woman that is a mean thing to do and you're just trying to bring me down

and why are you trying to bring me down why try to bring me down because i'm positive i'm not you're doing fine i know but that's mean. No. You don't think so? No. Okay. You know what? One of these episodes... You know what's mean? You know what would be mean? What? I don't really want to say it because then you're going to think I'm serious and I'm absolutely not serious. But what would be mean if I was like, yeah,

I don't know, you've gained weight, you look old, maybe you should get some Botox. That would be mean. Yes, they're both mean. That's mean. That is mean. And I would never say that because you don't need to. That's not true.

I know it's not true. And if you get Botox, I'll kill you. Am I not allowed to do that? You shouldn't. Okay, then I won't. I don't think men, for the most part, I don't think that looks good on men. I do have lines of my forehead, but they kind of go away when I... But don't you think you would look weird if your forehead was like snatched to the gods?

Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't love that. But men do that. I know. Because I think they should. And then it's like... Yeah, I'm not really into it.

If I'm being honest with you, I'm not really into any work being done on people. They never do very good job what about me yeah i mean like your face doesn't move though so like a little i've got a little movement i'm in a little bit it's not really so much the botox as in as is like women get too much shit in their lips and and then they keep doing it and then they just end up looking like a trout so there's there's new i mean i saw this on tiktok i don't know how true this is but there uh had there been new studies that say that when you put filler in your face like what we're told is when you put filler in it lasts a year

and then it dissolves yeah the way they put it you know then that's why you have to redo it it's because it dissolves they're now saying it doesn't dissolve that it just migrates somewhere else in your body and that eventually you're just going to be full of all this filler and it's not good for you i look at a lot of celebrities that are doing shit and i'm like you were hotter beforehand i don't understand what we're doing here this yeah this looks like this so okay you know sarah jessica parker obby yeah you know she's done like nothing yeah she um i just saw recently she was like out to lunch or something and paparazzi took her photo and everyone was like trashing her for looking her age and she kind of came back and was like but this is what i look like yeah you know like so what do you think about that would you prefer

like if it was sarah at sarah at her? Would you prefer, like, if it was Sarah at her age, would you prefer that, like, all natural? Yes. Really? Okay. I would. I do not, I'm not a believer in a lot of work done. I think you end up looking worse. Like, there are some things.

What about a little work? It's a slippery slope, I think. Yeah. Here's the thing. You're handing the reins over to a being that already has deep amounts of body dysmorphia. All women, they don't see what they really look like. They see whatever.

And then you're allowing them to go make decisions with a doctor and a scalpel. And I feel like, and that's what's scary is they're like, they could be bigger though. Like the lips, my lips could be fuller. And anyone else would be like, what are you fucking talking about? Like they're huge. I feel like you're not even seeing it the way we're seeing it, you know? That's true.

But I do know people like some of my mom's friends who are a little older than her. Probably. She's like one of the younger ones I think of her friend group. So let's just say like 60 that have had like a facelift recently or like a little bit of work done and they look really fucking great yeah i think i'm okay with facelifts and here's my thing facelifts have been around for a long time so i feel like doctors have been able to like kind of hone in on like the best way to do it and everything like the first ones in like the early 90s were just like there was like this. That was fucking scary. Right? But they've gotten better at it.

I don't know if I think everyone's gotten really good with the filler thing yet. Not sure if I, you know, everyone I look at, I think a lot of celebrities now, you look like Janice from the Muppets, you know, the bass player from the Muppet band. And it's just scary. I think the crazy thing is like some women

like to look fake. Oh, interesting. Like my mom feels this way not to like the extreme of her she has her lips done but like i always tell her that i hate her hair extensions because she gets them so long that they her hair looks fake to me and she's like ah that's what i love yeah she likes that isn't that interesting yeah that is very interesting she also i know she also came up during like the jenny mccarthy carmen electra time when like everyone kind of looked fucking not real and so like her envisionment of beauty is these baywatch babes yeah total she was like totally total pam girly but i have some friends too they get their lips done and they're like

yeah i want them to look fake. Like I'm paying for them. I want you to notice kind of thing. And I'm like, oh, okay. What do you think the psychology is behind it? Do you think that it's like this is what guys want because guys want luscious lips giving them BGs? I don't think it's as much about guys as it is like you hear women say all the time now like women dress for women. Men have no taste in fashion. Like you kind of – it's really not about that i really think it's about like just trying to keep up with the beauty

standards of other women that's what i think i don't know oddly anyways you hurt my feelings when i said i look great you went it's like oh okay great you look fine fine must be nice just sit over there. Fine. And not have to do anything. You didn't have to do anything. You didn't have to get dressed up for this show. I'm wearing a sweatshirt.

I don't know if you undid your makeup, though. I had to do a little makeup. Because we're now on YouTube. So please, everyone, go subscribe and watch all these videos on YouTube. and watch all these videos on YouTube. All right, I've been told by producers to tell you guys that we need more views on the YouTube channel. Yeah, otherwise we're gonna quit doing it.

Yeah, exactly. We really are because this whole thing was because Podcast Nation was like, you gotta do YouTube because it's important. The people want it. And if you guys aren't gonna, and we're not trying to blackmail you into doing it but like i'd like to start the show somewhat on time and if we're having to wait for brandy to get like you know the whole face done

yeah it really only takes me 15 minutes but yeah i i but it is i would like to say it would be much easier to not put makeup on to do the podcast. I know. You guys just let us know. Let us know. If you want to see us on the tube. Speaking of giving the YFTers what they want. Yeah, give it to them. We got a lot of traction on inviting the Mormons to the podcast. So what we got to do is we got to figure out which one we're going to invite.

Yeah. Because here's something. There was one standout for me. I sent you a screenshot. Yeah. I saw a lot of them. A lot of them was like, I was just a practicing Mormon and now I'm not.

There were some that still are. I want one that still is. Still believes, still wants to convert me and have you heard the good news and shit. Okay, so the standout one for me was, I think her name is Megan. And she said that I was Mormon up until 10 years

ago my husband and i met at byu yeah yeah she said we have since left the mormon church but we were in it i feel like she i would like to hear from her i know but i want to be the whole thing we have both can we have her and then can we have somebody that is a practicing mormon i wonder if a practicing mormon is listening to us because Because if I was a practicing Mormon, I'd be like, I hate this podcast. There were several. There were? Yeah. Okay.

I went on a deep dive. I read every comment the other day. Oh, really? Yeah. I love the Mormons so much. Gotta love them. Apparently, they're keeping us in business. Yeah.

I think a lot of people like to talk to hear about it. I mean, we were the first ones to break the soaking thing. That turned into a whole thing. And then Jury Duty took it and ran with it, you know? I know. Jury Duty stole our bit. They did. Okay, should we show the show? Yeah. Okay. Is it me or you? I think it's me.

Go for it. Bros and hoes, you're listening to your favorite thing podcast with... Welles and Brandy. And Mean Brandy. Yeah, Mean Girl. All right, quick PSA for those of you out there who rent. If you haven't heard of Built, you're about to thank me. Earning points on rent is now a reality when you pay your rent through Built. You don't even have to check with your landlord to start earning points that you can use towards flights, hotel stays, fitness

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You know, I just moved my office, so everything's in disarray. Is it? So I have the shitty bell here. The nice bell is over on the nice shelf. Should I get it? Yeah, and you should put it out where the people can see it. Oh, okay. Come on. We're on the we're on the tube now

We're on the making you get up Do that Bell I got you that Bell I know great Christmas gift I also got you the other Bell that you make fun of which is the one that I use it just doesn't sound good You know, I mean sounds like mine this way This one is way better pitch. Yours is better. I should get one of those. I wonder how much that was. It's probably thousands of dollars. Surely not much. Thousands and thousands of dollars because I am a good friend. Well, it's official.

Bachelor in Paradise is now over. Thank goodness. Yeah, it was a long run. It was a long run. It was a long run. And this was a long episode. It was. It's because last episode was only like 40 minutes because of Golden Bachelor.

Which I watched the finale of Golden Bachelor. I haven't watched it yet because we were at a wedding. It's good. Very emotional. Yeah. Yeah. I thought for sure he was going to pick Leslie. Leslie also thought she was getting picked.

Well, he kind of told her, right? I know. He said, I think you're the one. I know. He's like, you're my girl. So here's what I find fascinating about the whole Golden Bachelor thing. Now that I've watched all of it and I've seen the end, this is what my biggest takeaway. It just proves that no matter how old you get, no matter how wise you are, men still

just think with their dick and they still just say the dumbest shit and tell multiple people they love them and lead women on and don't know what they want until they do. Like, ain't nothing's changed. I don't know if that's fair. I do. I feel like he kind of did the exact same thing we've seen so many bachelors do in the past.

We've also seen bachelorettes do that too. Yeah, we have. I don't know if I think it's just a men thing. I think it's more of a thing that happens on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. There are many more women versus men that end up with their first impression and kind of knew since day one who they wanted. I do feel like women tend to know faster. Yeah, maybe so.

For the most part. I mean, I think that Gary said all the right things. Yeah, but he told three women he loved them. I know. Remember when Ben Higgins did that? Yeah. And it was the biggest deal in the world, and now it's just kind of the norm? Yeah, well, here's the thing, though.

Like, Ben is considered to be the best bachelor that we've ever had, so I think that's like the good thing to do, no? You do? I do think Ben was the best bachelor we've had. I don't think it's right to tell multiple people you love them. Yeah, I know. I would never get over that. If I was on that show and he picked me,

but I'd also told two people that he loved them, I would not feel good about that. Yeah. Which, by the way, I've been invited to Gary's wedding. Oh, how lovely. I just don't know. Are you going? I don't know.

Oh, come on. I just got back from a wedding. Okay, you gotta go. I know, but it's just, I can't do any more weddings. This is insane. Even in this Bachelor in Paradise episode, I go to a wedding. By the way, they cut me. I think that's your life now.

Maybe you could make a whole career out of Rev Wells, you know? Well, that's what we were saying. It's like a new great side project, but like. It really is. Yeah. I gotta say real quick about the wedding i just went to we went to uh vanessa hudgens and cole tucker's wedding oh how was that it's beautiful really really beautiful it was the one of the craziest coolest venues i've

ever been to in my entire life it looked like really yeah it looked like something out of like avatar meets like Star Wars. Absolutely insane, beautiful place. I've never, ever been to a wedding quite like it. And it was so fun. And I love them. I'm playing golf with Cole tomorrow. So anyways.

Did they not go on a honeymoon? I think kind of the same thing that we had to deal with, which is like they're coming home, they got to do some work, and then they're going to go. Got it. Okay, Bachelor in Paradise, season nine in the books. they're going to go. Got it. Okay. Bachelor in Paradise. Season nine in the books. Are we ready to go? Yeah.

Okay. It starts out with Jess and Mercedes being sad boys. Yeah. They go build a sad castle, which is an allegory for their love lives. It's something that can be built up, but so easily knocked down. Wash it away.

Yeah. Like sands through the hourglassglass so are the love lives of Jess and Mercedes. Jess misses Blake complimenting her. Well it is nice to be liked. Yeah yeah yeah. Like the show started with me not with being anti

complimented. Right right. You know. The things that she misses she's like I just miss him liking my outfits. I love that. I'm here complimented right right you know the things that she misses she's like i just miss him liking my outfits i love that i'm here for that yeah at least she's being honest about it i suppose good on blake for complimenting her outfits yeah he's a big boy he's an adult thanks for caring but that's not that's not the last we're gonna see you blake and that's gonna get weird um but then here's the thing so they're sad. They're building a sandcastle.

And then the boys yell down and say, you guys look so hot. It's so beautiful. There's a part of me that's like, what do you ladies want? You didn't find it with Blake. You didn't find it with Tyler. And then you have these two guys who are all about it, just looking in awe at you. And they're like,

no, it's not what I want. Well, sometimes when you're just that heartbroken yeah you know you can't even be open to that so i think that's the case especially for mercedes i think she's pretty crushed about the tyler thing and just the way it all played out yeah i get that i feel like i feel like she burned that bridge before it needed to be burnt. Like, I feel like Tyler just, like, wasn't sure of exactly where he was at the time. That didn't mean he was, like, completely out of it. Yeah, but you want somebody that's completely in. I get it.

Tyler had one foot in, one foot out. That's not a good feeling. Maybe so. But this whole episode I was watching, I was just thinking of this. What a girl wants. What a girl needs. Whatever makes me happy sets you free. And I'm thanking you

for giving it. What a girl wants. What a girl needs. That was Jess right there just being like, Blake knows what a girl wants and that's to compliment my two-piece bathing suit.

Yeah. Whatever does it, I guess. It's like kind of the morning before shit's about to go down, and I'm not sure if the cast realizes that we are kind of at the end of this whole thing, but Aaron and John Henry talk about how good they got it, which is nice, and then finally, you know, Kat and John Henry get a date.

Here's the thing. I do think that Kat's character arc has been really, really interesting and wonderful this season. Because if you made Kat go get on a paddleboard in the beginning of the season, there is no way in hell she would have gotten on that thing. Definitely not without some protests. Yeah. The bugs, the water, the waves. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Gross. And look look it just shows you like what love can do to somebody they can make them get on a paddleboard and then he even like tackled her in the water and i was like wow she's i can't wait for her to like cork up here and be like what the fuck and she did got her hair wet i know i don't know i think the thing that i that i realized during that date was like one one, they're really cute. And I think they're a lot further along than I think we all thought they were from that date. That's true. And then, of course, Aaron and Eliza get a date card, which is nice.

And I do feel like this is kind of a newer thing that we've been doing on the show, which is kind of nice, which is like kind of at the end giving couples who really probably deserve date cards, a nice little outing instead of like bringing some random person in and like them going on some like weird date that like doesn't go anywhere. Right. I agree. So Kylie really wants to be engaged is what I'm learning here. And I understand that that's kind of like the mission statement of this show is like get to a place to get engaged. But it's not really kind of everything. No. There are a lot of people that just leave as a couple.

Yeah. Some that don't even leave as a couple, but end up getting married and have kids, Becca and Thomas, you know? Totally, yeah. Aaron and Eliza go on this like cool meditation date, which by the way, I want to go do. Like, oh, it's like really fun.

Yeah, I want like a brouhaha, like pouring water over stones and like praying over us and stuff like that was really cool here's something that's very interesting to me during this day he is like i'm falling in love with you and i think that she kind of says it back also he says like i'm ready to get down on one knee okay hold on you're missing a huge step here i feel like if you're saying you're ready to get down on one knee, then you need to already be in like, I love you. I love you, yeah.

It's really, really weird that like their talk, it's almost like they're talking out of turn, right? Is there any chance at all they said it and didn't air it? I don't think so. I think they waited until overnight. Oh. There was a lot of things that I was like really blown away by, which is like things that would never work out in the real world.

Right. And one of those things is Kylie being like, Avon, you need to get engaged to me. Women don't really do that unless like the engagement's like seven years long and it's like, hey, should I get off the pot now? Like a relationship. Yeah. You know?

But we do see this a lot in within The Bachelor. I and i always i can't remember who it was but i remember there was a season where the girl really wanted maybe i'm thinking of maybe i'm thinking of rachel and her and gabby's season i can't remember but i just know like for a lot of the women that go on the show like they're very upset if engagement isn't happening at the end. And I always, I'm like, you know, I'm constantly saying like, I just don't get why you're willing to throw away a great connection and a great relationship just because someone's not ready to get engaged. I just don't get that. It's confusing.

There are a couple of things in this episode that were confusing to me. You know, Kat comes back from like kind of this wonderful date. And I think that she's in her mind, like, I'm very excited. I want to talk to somebody. I want to talk to my friend. So she goes and finds Jess and Jess is like, I don't want to talk to me. You know, Kat comes back from like kind of this wonderful date. And I think that she's in her mind, like, I'm very excited. I want to talk to somebody. I want to talk to my friend. So she goes and finds Jess and Jess is like, I don't want to talk to you. Did you notice that? Yeah.

Are you mad at Kat? Did Tanner tell you something about Kat that makes you realize that she's not your friend or you just don't want to talk to her because like you're really sad? I think it's probably that. Yeah. I think it's more that, you know, that she's, I I mean Jess is like in the lowest spot we've seen her all season yeah poor baby Jess so finally you know Jess and Tanner they have the talk and she wants to leave I guess yeah she she just kept saying like I just want to be at home I still think like the sub

context was like I I miss blake yeah and even tanner said that in some of the interviews he's like i think that she's still into that guy and that's cool i felt bad for tanner i feel like i don't know he's fine okay nah he hopped around homie hopped around there in the beginning and kind of you know well he to be yeah i i wonder what really happened with him and davia because i was like rooting for that one i know but it like never even started which was so strange very weird like i just got the vibe from tanner throughout the season that he only wanted to get in knee deep with everybody you know oh you want to go all the way you're going to do that then it's you're going to come to the end and you're not going to be in a strong deep with everybody, you know? Oh, you didn't want to go all the way. If you're going to do that, then you're going to come to the end

and you're not going to be in a strong relationship with anybody if you're only like willing to go that far, you know? Yeah. Like emotionally. Speaking of going as far as you possibly can emotionally, Kylie just straight up just asks, why aren't we getting engaged? What's going on? And she says something like, she's like,

I don't know how we can come to an agreement on this. do you mean what needs to happen for you to get your way which is like is the only way through this thing you getting engaged at the end of this thing because that's to me is very very odd and it's like he should have told me from the beginning well hold on like he didn't know how he was gonna feel at the end but obviously he, I'm just, I don't think I'm ready for like, we, I'm not sure. I'll tell you why I'm kind of on Avon's team here. Blake leaves and Kylie chases after him.

If I'm about to get engaged to somebody, I'm like, why are you chasing after this guy? What's going on here? I'm really very, very confused. I'm not sure if maybe I should be getting down on one knee call me crazy and i know that they were friends or whatnot but it just screamed like something else

to me yeah i mean he never says that but i i'm sure that's probably in the back of his mind somewhere yeah and i think that's fair i think me, I'm also a little team even here because the thing is like this. It is insane to get engaged this fast, no matter if you're on The Bachelor or not. Like, it's just that's very fast. And I think because of the circumstances of the show and you being in a bubble the whole time you're there, it is completely within reason for him to want to see how they are in the real world before they make that kind of decision you know and for her it's like well if you're not ready to get engaged you're not sure about me and it's like but how can you expect someone to be sure and like a make-believe world you know what i mean yeah it's like i think people should live together before they even get engaged like i think it's fucking crazy to get married without having done that first you know and not only have you not lived, you haven't even like been in someone's real life at all. They haven't even had sex yet.

I don't remember anyone going to the boom boom room. Oh, yeah. The boom boom room wasn't a thing this season. No, it's the last two seasons. No one's used it. And it's like, and I've been at the bar and like, this is not like me trying to like stir up shit or like create TV. I'm just always like, this is not like me trying to like stir up shit like create tv i'm just always like this is crazy to me if i was going to get engaged to somebody uh yeah you best believe we're having

sex first just so i know definitely you know also air conditioning you know exactly do mutual masturbation and get to sleep in a nice cool room what do we do what do we do here i know and then mari and ken come, which is very cute. And they announced that they're having their wedding at, on the show. Did you know, did you have an inkling that it was going to be some past cast members and not like someone who's on the show

now? I mean, yeah, I figured. Yeah. We can't trick the nation anymore. Not on season nine. It's hard to do that. I know. Yeah. We know last year we almost did it. Brandon and Serene. Oh. There was a world in which we were just going to have a wedding.

And like Jesse did like overnight got. His Rev. What? Rev. Rev. Jess. His Rev. His Rev.

His Rev. Well stuff. So we knew that was kind of happening. Man, what a twist that that relationship didn't work out I know I can't believe it So crazy And I don't really know what happened I heard like someone cheated

There was some infidelity I don't know Yeah I don't know either But sad Yeah They were so cute Mari and Kenny wedding And then guess who shows up

Who? Blake Muenes. One of Kenny's good friends. Are they good friends? I don't even know. I feel like it was just an excuse to bring Blake back. So why do we think we brought Blake back? I don't think it had anything to do with Jess

and everything to do with Kylie. Thank you. Jess wasn't even there anymore. She had left. Yeah. So of course it's not for Jess. And yeah, maybe it is for Kenny and Mari. And, you know, we have, you know, we wanted some big names at the wedding maybe.

No. So that's my thing. We have the rave. They have this long talk. Her hands are like on his legs. And he's like, hey, you got to do what you got to do. You got to go all in, you know? He seemed in that conversation to me,

he seemed to be thinking exactly what you and I are. Like, what's going on here? Mercedes says it when Blake comes in. She's like, ooh, Kylie's going to be really excited. And it's like, wait, what are we talking about here? Because you have this woman who's very, very upset that the guy is not really sure if he wants to get engaged but also she's very excited another man has shown up like yeah it's weird it's screaming red flags to me am i crazy no no not at all okay Okay. Am I crazy? I mean, sometimes I think I'm taking crazy pills here. Yeah, I know.

I'm with you. Yeah. Anyways, so we have the rave, which is really upsetting because I hosted the entire thing. I gave this amazing toast to Kenny and Mari, and they fucking cut it. And ABC, you'll be hearing from my people. There wasn't really a whole lot that went down other than like what i thought was interesting was the kylie pulling blake and of course it was like while aven's talking to kenny and mari like get some advice to like get engaged and that's such another funny thing too like if i was considering getting engaged to somebody and i'm asking alumni who have

already like been through everything and whatever, what do you think I should do? You know, Kenny and Mara, you guys, I want what you have. And at the same time, split screen cut to the girl I'm thinking about getting engaged to talking to another man on a day bed. I would be like, what am I doing here? See, this is why we need an after show. I agree.

It's crazy to me that they didn't have one because so much can change when you watch the show back and you see so much you didn't know before. Blake went on Chicks in the Office and they asked him the question, like, what was going on? And he gave some kind of vague answer. I just did like that emoji that's like, hmm. And because I don't know what went down, but I am very, very confused by all of it.

Next day, breakup day. Gotta love it. I think one of my favorite things about what happened on breakup day was that Mercedes decided to break up with Jordan before it was deemed breakup day. Well, also, like, can you even call it breaking up? They weren't really together. Yeah, I know. So she breaks up with Jordan. Let's be honest. She's still in the Tyler. I just don't even know that it's as much about Tyler himself. Like I know she liked him, but I think it's just the overall feeling of this just didn't go. And none of this just went the way

she planned or wanted it to, you know? And she's just crushed in general. I think. she planned or wanted it to, you know? And she's just crushed in general, I think. I feel like it was more of like, this isn't what I had. Yeah. She should have stuck with Will, you know? I kind of agree with that.

I liked Will. I mean, he cried a lot, which is not great, but I really liked him and her. So Mercedes breaks up with Jordan before Jesse has the time to pull everyone and be like, okay, it's time to shit or get off the pot. Everyone that's not going to get engaged, go dump each other, you idiots. And then everyone that's going to get together, you know, fucking we'll figure out fantasy

suites. So then Kylie gives the ultimatum, I feel like to Avon. He's like, hold on. If we leave together, are you not going to be happy? Listen, I'm falling for you, all this stuff. And they leave together, but it's the saddest ride out of paradise together I've ever seen.

Like if I were even, I would not feel good about that. If I were even, I'd be like, I dodged a bullet here. You know, like I also, you can't bully someone into getting engaged.

Well, and I just don't know why you would want to. I don't want to beg anybody to want to be with me. Like, it's not, no one wants that. Yeah, it's a bad look. It's just weird. It's just weird. I don't know. She said something, I think to Mercedes,

she's like, it's giving thirsty. It's not giving it it's it is it that's a very very very weird thing to do to somebody to be like you have to get engaged to me yeah i was like no i don't have to do anything i choose to spend the rest of my life with you anyways that whole thing just like really rubbed me the wrong way i don't know if you can tell yeah i can tell did it not for you like i just felt like it was just like the whole thing was nails on a chalkboard. Yeah, it was.

Like I said, though, I just feel like I've seen this before on different, you know, variations of the show where, like, it gets down to the end and the woman's like, I want a ring. And if you don't give me a ring, then I'm done. Like, I just think and no one's maybe been this cut and dry about it as Kylie and but like verbally saying like you know but I but I feel like they have I don't know I just feel like it's nothing new and some women just want that and they're willing to risk losing somebody if they don't get it and that's what Kylie's doing yeah I think this is like a cautionary tale like kind of anyone though like I don't think you should ever demand that of your partner one caveat if your partner knows you want to be married at some point and you're like five years down the road and you're getting older, I think then you're allowed to be like,

hey, is this going to happen or not? Because if it's not, then I think I'm going to probably go find someone that wants to do it. That I think is fair. But if you're like a couple of years, maybe a year, year and a half in and being like, you need to do this. I don't know. I don't know if I love that.

I don't like it either. You should want to be engaged to someone who wants to spend the rest of their life with you. And that's all that they want, you know? Yeah. Anyways, call me old fashioned, call me a romantic. And then you have Olivia and Michael, which was an interesting one. I know. I feel like there were things, that conversation, like to me, it felt like we were missing something. Yeah. I don't know. I mean like there were things, that conversation, like to me, it felt like we were missing something. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, Olivia is still all in on Michael and she tells him that. Like it's kind of one of the first times she really like kind of lets herself be vulnerable on the show. She's been angry a lot in the show, but not really vulnerable with people. And then Michael's just like, hey, listen, I'm a realist.

That's what he says and thinks that they're in two different parts of the world maybe I don't even know where they all live but I get that and the relationship isn't ready for leaving together or fantasy suites which I guess I agree with the fantasy suites part of it

but I'm not sure if I agree with the leaving part of it you can be like well let's get out of here and let's see what happens, you know? I know, it makes you wonder like, were you just kind of using her to be here and have a good time? Or like, what's the tea, you know? Yeah, it was kind of the first time

I really felt for Olivia this season because a lot of it is she is abrasive. I like her a lot and she makes amazing TV, but she is kind of abrasive. And so I can understand some of like the beef she have with other people and like she said a lot of things that probably you shouldn't say but this is the first time where I where she she gets up and she's not even mad anymore I think she's like so beaten down and I'm I really really my heart hurt for her that time I know yeah I agree so then we go toes. You know, you've got Aaron and Eliza and you've got John Henry and Kat and they go and they do their thing.

And I'm sure they do sexy time for the first time ever, which I think is a problem of course, by the way. And then it's time to get engaged. And I think I knew, I don't think I knew, I knew Aaron and Eliza were going to get engaged. But I did not think that John Henry and Kat were. I thought for sure John Henry would follow his gut. Yeah. I mean, I know it says they're doing great, but. I know, that's the thing.

Your gut normally does lie. I don't know. Funny how he says it. He's like, normally i follow my gut it's always right yeah but this time i'm not gonna do that you're john henry accent i know it's like not it not even close i don't not even i don't think he's even from the south i think he's from like arizona no really i don't know i don't know where he's from but his name is john henry his name is john henry so he has to sound like that. I think he is Southern. No, and I, listen, I appreciate that sentiment of him. Like the idea

of like, I love that. Very poetic. I always go with my gut. I always go with my head over my heart. This time I'm going to follow my heart. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. But don't, not this time. Like, I don't know. I was like, maybe not this time. Maybe save following your heart for like when you're in the real world and like i don't know i just i was scared for him i'm still a little scared for him but i do think i think he and cat have a deeper relationship than even they were kind of expecting maybe not him so much but like i think cat in the very beginning just thought he was hot and just needed to move some something to move on from tanner and like he was just the like just thought he was hot and just needed something to move on from Tanner.

And like he was just like the thing that was there and he's very cute guy and everything. And it was the challenge of like, I'm going to take him from Olivia. And I feel like she's probably like surprised herself at how much she likes him and how great he actually is. That's kind of the vibe that I get is like, oh, shit, like I actually really really like this guy like who would have thought like the two of them would have enough in common to make something work you know but it is cute listen i i actually really like kat she is high maintenance though she is the epitome of high maintenance and he is the chillest like water off a duck's back kind of a guy and that's why it works because he's like freaking out and he's like man it's cool whatever i'm just chilling man I'm having a good time.

You know, it's really not even the high maintenance that to me would be a red flag. It's the lack of self-awareness in a lot of the things that she was involved in throughout the season. Yeah.

That to me, and he seems for the most part much more like emotionally self-aware and stuff. I don't know. That would be my only concern for the two of them. Well, I do think that Kat's going to learn a lot

from watching it back this season. I will say that. Yeah. So they both get engaged. It was both really cute, and I'm happy for both of them because we're not doing an after show. They did like a, like, where are they now thing.

It's so weird. I didn't like it at all. I didn't either. I need more than just that. Yeah. You know? I need more. I think it's, I need more.

Some of them were funny. Sean's mother says he's very mature. LOL. That's funny, you know? I wish that, I don't even know. I think they, did they do a, like, Sam has totally normal bowel movements now? Like, I don't even know if they did that. They should have.

I don't think so. I don't remember, though. Then they drop the bomb of like, it's not looking good for Aaron and Eliza. And you're like, wait, hold on. We've been working towards this this entire time. I know, and they were the ones I was more sure about. I know.

It's so interesting. Yeah. I need answers. I do, too. We need an after show. We need an after show, guys. Yeah. I need answers. I do too. We need an after show. We need an after show, guys. Absolutely. Anyways, and that's a wrap on season nine of Bachelor in Paradise.

You didn't get much air time these past couple seasons. I mean, episodes. I agree. And what's frustrating is that like I was all over the wedding. I was the ring bearer for Christ's sake. I know. And then I was the host of that rave thing. I had to do the whole thing, dancing, everything.

Wouldn't know it. I know. I'm a little frustrated with the amount that they used me this season. I got to be honest with you. And it's a lot of time and a lot of work. Yeah. On a show that I'm not really on. Yeah.

And I've complained in the past but this one really was like what the fuck guys so anyways we'll see what happens going forward but that's it vip good bad ugly it was good yeah no it wasn't my favorite season but it was good yeah it was good yeah who were your favorite cast members you know i, I actually ended up really liking Olivia. Yeah. She was very entertaining. Oh, the huge freaking twist in the montage there at the end. Brayden and Christina?

Oh, I know. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. I could see that. By the way, I've known about that for a very long time. I'm sure you have. I couldn't tell anybody about it because it's very under wraps. But I did.

I enjoyed Brayden much more on this season than on The Bachelorette. And I was sad to see him go. But he fucked up by ditching Rachel. So, like, you know, he made your bed. But, yeah, I was like, oh, my. When they showed that, I was like, holy shit. That totally makes so much sense. Totally.

I bet they're great together. That was interesting. I could not believe that when he told me that, I was like, what? Christina Mandrell? All right. Is that enough BIP, Bachelor? I think so. I think so, too.

Do you have some fave things, bro? I'm a little low on the fave things, I got to tell you. Okay. bro i'm a little low on the fave things i gotta tell you um however i did watch that new netflix movie called may december okay have you seen that no oh you haven't no there's such such a little new television out how have you not or not even television, movie. Don't you love Natalie Portman? I do love Natalie Portman. I thought so. She's in this. Natalie Portman, Julianne Moore.

Yeah. Who I love. Like a newcomer male actor. I think he's been in like one other thing. Oh, Charles Melton. Yeah. He was in like Riverdale or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's been around for a little bit, but yeah.

20 years after their notorious tabloid romance gripped the nation, a married couple buckles under pressure when an actress arrives to do research for a film about their past. May, December. Okay, that

does sound really good. So when I first started watching it, I was a little confused in the first few minutes. So I had to like pause, go read the synopsis. So I knew what I was watching because I just cold turkey like hit play, you know? Yeah. So it's fascinating.

It's about this couple. The woman is much older. She meets him when he is in seventh grade and she is 36. Is this like aary kay letourneau thing is that loosely based on her but like so loosely that they can say it's really not about her but i definitely like i think they are owning up to the fact that she was the inspiration for the story but it's it's it's very fiction you know but just based on that and so it's like is it's very fiction, you know, but just based on that. And so it's like an uncomfy watch. You know, it's like such a good movie, but like you're so uncomfortable because you're like, in what world does a 36-year-old have a sexual attraction to a seventh grader?

Yeah. Well. And not only that, follow through with it and do something about it. And then the seventh grader ends up marrying her and having kids with her. And then he's like 35 and has kids graduating high school. And she's like, what, 65? Yeah. Who plays the actress?

Natalie Portman, of course. Oh. So basically, this movie opens with her arriving at their home and she is there to basically study julianne moore's character because she's about to play her in a movie and it's got like a little bit of that black swan you know vibe like that dark uh kind of creepy vibe but you know it's very it's a very natalieman film. But it's great. I loved it, even though it made me very, very uncomfortable. I love that for us. Yeah.

Highly recommend it. Ten out of ten. All right. I have a funny story. Oh, so you've watched nothing. I've been in Mexico. Cool, cool, cool. At a wedding.

Good, good, good. Got it. But I have a great story. Okay. So Sarah and I get a Uber to take us to the airport. And I'll tell you what, it was one of the nicest cars I'd ever been in. Like it was, and it wasn't like a fancy car. It was like a Toyota.

But this guy took immaculate care of this car. Like multiple like rugs that like weren't even from the car down to like keep it clean. And like so many air fresheners. like rugs that like weren't even from the car down to like keep it keep it clean and like so many air fresheners and he had like three of those like tree things that hold your phone up he had like this guy had was in his control center right okay and car smelled good he really was taking good care of the car and i was really i even said i was like you know i got a car this you know it's a toyota and i was like oh is it hybrid he's like yeah i was like man you take really good care of this.

Good for you. Anyways, and that's not really a part of the story other than like I was just like, wow, this is a very clean car. Okay. So we're, you know, we're on the 405 trying to get to LAX. And, of course, we're in traffic. And we're not listening to any music. And Sarah and I are just chit-chatting. But you know how when you're in the back of an Uber, you can see what's on like the screen.

A lot of times you're looking at like what their phone is saying and how long it's gonna take you and whatever. And so I'm looking at his screen and something has been paused and like he's not playing music. And in my mind, I'm like, maybe it's time for him to play me some music.

You know, like maybe it's time Sarah and I are done talking. And I see on the screen, just what I can see, cause I'm in the right, on the right side, like the passenger side in the back. And it says Sri Lankan, big ass school girl. And I'm like, oh my God. And this guy is, you know, he's Indian or something, you know, I don't really know exactly what he was, but he's a foreigner. And i'm like looking at this and i'm like oh i want to listen to a song called sri lankan big ass school girl like this sounds you do yeah like i like i in my mind i'm assuming this is like indian rap song that i've never heard of and i'm like fuck i want to hear this so i turned

to him and i you know like i don't know it might be like their version of like eminem or something i don't know and so i say i go hey man we should play some music and and then i say i tell you what i want to hear i want to hear sri lankan big ass school girl and then i and then i and i'm laughing i'm like that sounds like an awesome song. Then I lean over and I see the rest of the text, which is Sri Lankan big ass school girl gets fucked in something. And it was at that moment that I realized that he had been watching porn and that was the name of the video.

No. No. No. I thought it's a song. No. I thought it was a song. And it was the porn. He was watching. And he was whacking it in his car before he got us, I assume.

And, you know, it was such a clean car. And now I know why. Because he has to clean up the jizz. Wait wait wait what was his response to you requesting to hit play on that it was like i caught him fucking stealing cookies out of the cookie jar dude oh oh excuse me i'm sorry and sarah and i were just like oh he started like dying or sarah's like trying to hold back in laugh but laughter but she cannot and i'm just like oh my god that's so great that's so fucking great oh my gosh anyways uh wow i know i would have laughed but also i would have been like i need i need to get out of the car yeah but you weren't like alone alone alone a single woman in the car. Like I was. No, no,

yeah. He was a very nice, like older gentleman. Oh, I'm sure he was. Hey, everyone wax it, okay?

In the car? I mean, no. Well, do you wax the car on the regular? No, no, no,

no. I'm concerned. I do not wax it on the car on the regular, but I have been on some on the car on the regular. But I have been on some long road trips, all right? No. You can't even make it through a road trip without doing that? Have you ever driven across the country, lady? Yeah, I have, and I didn't stop to do that at all.

No? No. No diddling? The bean? Not in the car. Yeah. Oh. No. Have you ever had sex in a car? Yes. Yeah diddling? The bean? Not in the car. Yeah. Oh. No.

Have you ever had sex in a car? Yes. Yeah. It's fine. Yeah, it's hard to do, you know, logistically speaking. It is. I knew a guy that used to whack it in the airplane, which I thought was funny. Oh, God.

I know. But I guess when you gotta whack it, you gotta whack it, all right? No, you just wait. No. Until you're home. Sometimes you can't get the thought of Sri Lankan big-ass schoolgirl fucks out of your head. You know? How do we have any listeners?

I don't know. I think the show's amazing. That's when you go... And there we go. We brought it all the way back to center, boys and girls. That's how you do comedy. You know, I'm still watching The Crown. You digging?

I'm on season five, about halfway through season five. Okay. I don't like season five as much. Why not? They basically swapped all the actors between four and five um because you know they're older so they that's what they do i guess the show um and i'm having a hard time it's it's not to say that these these new actors aren't phenomenal because they are but i'm just having a hard time correlating this version of the character with the one I saw in season four.

Got it. I don't know what, especially specifically the queen. I don't know why, but her demeanor is just so different. In season four, she was very like telling them how it is and boss lady and very, not aggressive, but just, I don't know know much more intentional and much more like tougher a bit tougher of a person i guess and this version of her in season five is just very different so i'm just having a hard time like correlating that with the with the queen that i just watched for a whole season um so i'm curious to see once i get to the next season

like if i still feel that way or whatnot um i'm also, I really did love the Charles and Diana aspect relationship, obviously. That's why I started watching the shows because I wanted to get to that part. So you don't see as much of Diana in season five. You do see a lot of Charles and he too. I'm having a hard time correlating this version of him with the younger version.

I just don't know. Like, it's just hard for me to do that. Okay. Yeah. That's my only complaint so far, but I'm going to carry on, it's just hard for me to do that. Okay. Yeah. That's my only complaint so far. But I'm going to carry on. I'm going to keep watching. Carry on.

Yeah. Carry on. I was kind of digging on this. Are you a Billy Strings guy at all? No, not really. Should I be? Yeah, I think you'd like him. He's a really, really good guitar player.

But he's so good that obviously he's a bluegrass guy. More bluegrass than he really is country or Americana. But he's starting to transcend all just roots, Americana, country, bluegrass. And he's got a song for The Hunger Games, new movie. It's a cabin song, so you want to go out on that? Sure. I love Billy Strings. If nothing else, you should listen to him

because his fucking guitar skills are redonkulous. Love that. What. I love Billy Strings. If nothing else, you should listen to him because his fucking guitar skills are redonkulous. I love that. What do you got going on? It's Friday. I am en route to Las Vegas. Nice. I'm playing Vegas on Saturday night. Fun. Come party. It's NFR. It's Cowboy Christmas in Las

Vegas this weekend. I really hope Santa brings me a cowboy for Christmas. You know? Nice? He has a little big red bow on him and just, you know, send him my way. That'd be great. That'd be nice. I'm coming home because my mother is coming to visit me. Nice. Is it?

Yeah. Your mom's great. No, it is. She hasn't been here in actually like a couple years, I want to say. It's been a really long time since she's come to visit. So it should be great. Dom is coming with her. Believe it or not. So I'm hoping they entertain each other.

You know, my only complaint when my mom is here, I love her very much, but she's constantly, what are you doing? What are you doing? Want to go shopping? Want to do this? Want to do that? I'm like, I have things to do, Mom. She's ADD.

Very. And needs activities. So maybe she and Dom, you know, will entertain each other a bit. But it'll be nice to have them here. Nice. I decorated the house for Christmas. It's Christmas vibes. So we love that.

It's giving Christmas. It's getting, it's getting Christmas. One of my least favorite things is the term. It's giving everything's giving. It's giving. It's giving. It's giving.

Shut up. Just stop saying that shit. All right. It's good. It's giving. It's, it's giving. Yeah.

It's giving season. Um, what are you up to? Nothing. I'm finally home for a little bit, and I just want to not fucking go anywhere. So. Fair. We're going with the kiddo, with my brother's son, to see Santa this weekend. I'm excited about that.

Our good friend Arden's having her big birthday party. We're going to that. Sounds fun. And that's about that. Our good friend Arden's having her big birthday party. We're going to that. Sounds fun. And that's about it. So, chilling. Like a villain. We've got to decide what we're going to do with the show.

If it's going to go back to Wednesdays or go to Fridays. Maybe we should ask the YFTers to tell us. Yeah, let's do a poll and see what you guys want us to do. That's what we'll do. We'll do it on Instagram. Perfect. Follow us at YFTpodcast on Instagram, do. We'll do it on Instagram. Perfect. Follow us at YFT Podcast on Instagram, please. And we'll be back again. Huh?

And YouTube. Oh yeah, please go subscribe and watch everything on YouTube. Or else we're not going to do it any longer. That's right. That's right. Alright, YFTs, we love you. Love y'all. Bye. Bye. Oh, you didn't get to hear any of it.

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