Your Favorite Thing with Wells & Brandi - Zero Gravity Boning
Episode Date: July 28, 2021Are you as amused as we are by the giant dildos flying into space lately? Brandi and Wells have traveled all over the country and the globe, but their next adventure may just be heading out to a space... station turned bar, so please look out for our GoFundMe to get this going. They’re also trying to figure out what it will be like to have sex in zero G. Will it be like boning down in the deep end of our swimming pools? TBD. Our hosts also catch up on what they’ve been doing in the last week, and quick heads up to anyone who saw Wells driving in the nude recently... you weren’t hallucinating and we will explain. They also get into the emotional rollercoaster that was this week’s Bachelorette episode and Men Tell All combo. Is Brandi now a Michael A. guy? Was Thomas recording from Restoration Hardware? And why did this episode bring back all the memories of Wells realizing he wasn’t the next lead? All this and more. Catch you next time! Until then, we’ll be stoned at the nail salon.  Don’t forget to rate, review, and follow Your Favorite Podcast! Plus, keep up with us between episodes on our Instagram page, @yftpodcast.  Thanks to our awesome sponsors for making this episode possible! Check out these deals just for you, YFTers: Smash & Tess — Visit smashtess.com/YFT to shop and use code YFT at check out for 15% off your purchase BetterHelp — As a listener, you’ll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at BetterHelp.com/favoritething Theragun— Go to Therabody.com/YFT and get your Gen 4 Theragun today Nutrafol— Get $15 off when you go to Nutrafol.com and use the promo code YFT Â
Transcript
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That's ShipStation.com. Code your favorite thing. Do it. Oh, yeah'm the one that's late this week i'm doing someone else's podcast and
now i'm late so brain's gonna be mad at me so let's call her no like silly story before i call
her because i am the problem my mother always said bing bong bang hello hi sorry i was late that's on me that's all right what are you doing chilling i've just been
well i rode my horse this morning but i've just been like doing some housework you know you know
those days where you just do like five loads of laundry change the sheets unpack repack just get
the house in order that kind of thing those. Those are the worst. Those are Sundays.
That's what Sunday's for.
Yeah, but then your Sunday's ruined by all those things.
This is just my day of rest, and I'm doing the most work today.
Yeah.
I've cleaned a toilet today.
You know, I guess we're just in my normal job.
I know.
Oh, God, and I hate cleaning the toilet.
I got to be honest with you, man.
That's just the worst.
You know? I do. I, God. And I hate cleaning the toilet. I got to be honest with you, man. That's just the worst. You know?
I do.
I do know.
I'm sorry.
That sucks.
I mean, it's whatever.
The house just gets crazy when I'm gone all the time, you know?
Yeah, you've just been jet-setting around, bebopping around.
I really have.
I mean, that's cool, though.
It's been fun.
Where were you just now?
Just now?
Atlanta. Oh, Hotl now? Just now. Atlanta.
Oh, Hotlanta?
Hotlanta!
See my boy Lil Jon?
No, where did I just see he was?
Maybe Vegas.
Yeah, he's in Vegas.
But he was like, I saw him the other day and he was like, yeah, I got to go back to Atlanta,
doing a show, then I'm going to Vegas and doing a show.
And I was like, dope.
He is booked.
Like, it's crazy he's i feel
like he plays like every single freaking night oh so derek's coming in the night oh that's right
so it's exciting so i texted him i'm like hey man what are you getting in he's like well i'm like
seven net lax but i got a bag so like 7 15 and i'm sitting there thinking like why are you telling
me how long it's gonna take to get your bag do? Do you think that I'm going to come pick you up?
You're going to Uber, right?
And he was like, well, no, you can't pick me up.
What?
First of all, like this, any other airport.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
BNA.
In any other airport.
Any other airport, except for like LAX,
maybe like JFK or like LaGuardia.
Those are the two places that like you should never ask anyone to go get you at.
No, you can't.
And also he's getting you at 7.
And I live in Studio City.
So that means your boy's going to take an hour for me to get there.
Guess what time that is?
That's 6 o'clock.
Monday night traffic on the 405.
You want my ass to get you at the fucking airport,
bro.
I don't want to sit in the car for three hours.
No,
thank you.
Uh-huh.
And honestly,
if he's landing at seven,
you're not seeing him until like 10.
No,
I think that,
I think that like eight 30 is a realistic situation.
I don't know.
LAX is something else.
Yeah,
I know.
I've got a fave thing, though.
I don't know if we should
wait for the show to start for me to do it.
Maybe.
But it does have to do... Okay, remind me.
It does have to do with traveling and
the life hack that I figured out.
But yeah, anyway, so Derek's
coming in and...
How long
is he staying?
He's staying to the end of the week.
So I think he's staying until Thursday because on Friday, I'm going to Napa
for Ben and Jess's engagement party.
Oh, excuse me.
We're going to Hawaiian country.
But it's like some big scam. It be honest it's not a scam but like doing the
it's not a scam but it is kind of a scam like i thought i was just being invited to an engagement
party come to find out it's like live stream people can buy tickets to like hang out because
the money's going to like his charity which is great but i'm like ben what the fuck is this dude
i thought we you just wanted to come to celebrate your love.
Now I know there's those ulterior motives afoot.
Yeah.
Leave it to those two to be just doing anything and everything for charity.
Yeah.
Bless their hearts.
I know.
I'm complaining about the charity that they're trying.
You're a piece of shit.
I'm the problem here.
I think we've realized that.
Yeah. I just didn've realized that. Yeah.
I just didn't know that's what it was, you know?
And I didn't know until like someone like tweeted being like, don't miss your tickets to hang out with Ben and Jess and Wells and Nick.
And I'm like, what?
What did I book?
I remember this.
It's incredible.
Do we have matching Yeti water bottles?
Oh, I. Okay. By the way, I have matching Yeti water bottles? Oh I
Okay by the way
I love this Yeti
We do have the same one dude
It's got like the sippy cup screw top
Yeah screw top
Mine's blue
Yours is blue too huh?
Mine's black
Oh you got the black one
Yeah
You got a sticker on there
Yeah I do because
So my dad gave me this
Yeah
And someone gave it to him and it
says something really fucking weird yeah yeah yeah it says like it's something i forget what it said
i'm not gonna take the sticker off but it says something weird that my mom said has something
to do with weed oh okay i don't know it was like cotton mouth or something really fucking weird
yeah but i was like i want the yeti so i just Yeah. But I was like, I want the Yeti.
So I just slapped a sticker on.
No one will ever know.
Well, you got to choose your sticker right for a Yeti or for any water bottle because you put that baby in the dishwasher.
And if it's not the right type of like really high class sticker, that thing's going to be all flaky and no thank you.
Yeah.
I didn't really think about that.
You know what?
I don't put mine in the dishwasher a ton.
Yeah.
I hand wash it.
Yeah.
But I have a Smoky Mountains sticker,
a great Smoky Mountains sticker
from when I stayed at Under Canvas.
Cool.
I'm living a little bit in a crisis situation,
just so you know.
I went on a run and when i came back one of the
dogs got into women's vitamins oh no and like they're like little capsules like a daily and
there's 90 in there and i counted 78 um left So one of the dogs ate 12 of these capsules
and I'm concerned that they're,
I mean, like when I look at the ingredients,
it's like broccoli and like whatever.
Like it's probably fine.
Yeah.
Well, one of them did throw up
and I don't know which one did,
but I think it was Boo.
So anyways, I'm going to take a quick pause and just make sure that they're both alive.
Okay?
Okay, sounds good.
Just give me one second.
I support this.
Yeah, thanks.
Okay, I think they're okay.
Oh, jeez.
Oh, God.
Oh.
Yeah, all right.
How was Hotlanta?
It was good.
You know what's so crazy?
The flight from here to Atlanta is like 23 minutes once you're in the air.
Yeah.
It's so fast.
Well, I mean, Atlanta's only what, three hours away?
I think four.
But here's what's cool to think about.
Someday, in the not-so-distant future, they're going to figure out how we fly faster.
How cool would it be when it takes like 20 minutes to get like anywhere?
We haven't been able to turn up the speed in our planes since like the 70s.
Like the 70s were going this speed.
Yeah.
But so something's got to give soon, right?
Like.
Yeah.
We got to figure it out, guys.
I heard from somewhere that what they're trying to figure out is how to fly higher.
Yeah.
So that you can go faster or something.
Elon Musk and fucking Jeff Bezos and Richard Branson.
Figure it out.
All right.
Figure it out.
Yeah.
I think they're going to figure it out.
To be honest with you, they are one of my favorite things right now because of how fucking ridiculous it is.
Explain.
Okay, so the three richest guys right now, they're just like, we got to go to space.
They're like, listen, no matter what, we got to fucking go to space.
What?
Of all the things that we need right now, space is number one for you guys?
The three richest guys are like, let's do it.
Fucking America, man.
What do we do in America?
We fucking try to leave America and go up into space.
It's the biggest big dick competition I've ever seen.
A hundred percent.
But I'm here for it because I want to go to space.
I do too.
But also, Bezos, I get you bringing your brother.
It's your bro.
I get that. But that old lady? She already been to space. B do too. But also, Bezos, I get you bringing your brother. It's your bro. I get that. But then that
old lady? She already been to space.
Bred the wealth. And that little kid, 18-year-old
kid. Oh my God. You gotta be kidding me.
You're bringing an 18-year-old kid, a little
snot-nosed kid, hasn't experienced anything
in life. He doesn't deserve
this. People have been in the trenches.
Brandi and I deserve to be
up there checking it out. Also,
here's my other thing. You guys didn't go to space bro
Like that's not space
You just went real high
Like space isn't until
I don't know
Richard Branson I watched that video
And I mean he's up there
He's up there but he's not in space
He's not in lower earth orbit
It looked like he was like looking at the fucking planet
And I was like, that is sickening.
Yeah, he is.
But he's not in orbit yet.
Either was Jeff Bezos.
The only motherfucker that sent something into orbit is Elon Musk.
But he hasn't gone on it.
Which I'm surprised that he hasn't gone.
But he's probably like, actually, I think he's an alien.
He's like, I've already been up there.
I know it's like, to really go into space, guys guys you got to go up so high and go so fast it goes 17 000 miles per hour
which they didn't go that fast because effectively getting into orbit means that like your spaceship
is always trying to fall back to earth but because you're going so fast and you're so above the earth
that you're always just falling around it.
And they didn't do that because they went up and then they fell back down.
They didn't need heat shields.
Oh.
You don't got heat shields?
You ain't in space, guys.
They were floating, though.
They were floating around.
I know.
And I want to do the floating thing.
The floating thing looks sick.
Yeah.
It's called mile high when you get laid in a plane.
What's it going to be called when you get like you knock some boots up in fucking Martian territory?
I don't know.
I don't know either.
That'd be cool though.
Would be cool. We need some Velcro booties or something because you need leverage to do sex.
Yeah, you do. You're right.
Actually, do you?
I don't know, actually. I feel like you might.
Okay. Have you ever had sex in a pool
um i mean i have i think i was sitting on like standing on i don't think i actually did the
deed in the pool i think i got out for like a hot tub i feel like having sex in water is not all
it's cracked up to be i agree yeah completely like takes away natural lubrication, which you need. Yeah. You know?
Key.
Key.
Key, guys.
I guess my point is, like, you're going the deep end trying to, like, bone down.
I think you'd be— It'd be hard.
Yeah, you'd just, like, fucking flailing around.
Give that a try and let us know how it went, and then we'll circle back to this.
There's got to be some live tears that know about zero-G boning, all right?
We need to know.
Do there? I can't imagine anyone knowing about that. I don't know. It's gotta be a study done. So needs to happen.
It's so funny because it's such a pissing competition, a big dick competition with a
bunch of dudes who are flying things that look like big dicks yep and they're so smart so the
irony can't be lost on them jeff bezos must know that it looks like he just shot a dildo into space
he has to know it you know uh-huh i feel like sometimes so people that are so book smart are
not like street smart and like don't get stuff like that. All right, quick PSA for those
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All right, guys, a lot has changed over the last years. And if you're growing your e-commerce business, yeah, you can relate. Whether you're looking for better efficiency during the hectic
holiday season or your business has outgrown your old shipping solutions, you need ShipStation to
help you scale your
business. ShipStation helps you achieve exceptional shipping efficiency with a robust all-in-one
fulfillment system that integrates with over 180 of the most popular e-commerce platforms,
marketplaces, and carriers. Listen, the holiday season is right around the corner. Odds are that
you guys are probably selling stuff on e-commerce.
If you're shipping, you got to do it with ShipStation. Lead your business into the future
with technology built to save you time, extra costs, and headaches. It's the fastest, most
affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 89% off UPS, DHL, Express,
and USPS rates. What, you don't want to save money come on deliver a better
customer experience the industry leading features that help you find the best carrier rates print
labels and make customer service a breeze dude scale your e-commerce business with shipping
software that delivers switch to shipstation today go to shipstation.com and use code your
favorite thing to sign up for your free 60-day trial that's even more savings that shipstation.com and use code your favorite thing to sign up for your free 60
day trial that's even more savings that shipstation.com code your favorite thing do it i think
we need to start the show yeah me or you i think it's you i think so too bros and hoes you're
listening to your favorite thing podcast with wells Brandy. That's so diplomatic.
What is this shirt you're wearing?
Is it pink?
Yeah.
I like it.
I love these shirts, by the way.
This is not an ad, but...
What brand is it?
LeoVici?
Never heard of it.
I like it a lot.
It's so soft.
It's nice.
It's so soft, but it also kind of showcases my nipples.
You know what I'm saying?
Now that you mention it.
And I don't like that.
So I feel like I'm always tweaking my nipples so it looks like I got bigger.
Well, that makes it worse.
I know, but just don't look at it.
Don't look at it.
Look at me.
Don't look at me.
Okay, so if you have to go to space, do you just want to go into orbit?
Do you want to go to the moon?
Do you want to go to Mars?
Do you want to go to Europa?
Where do you want to go to the moon do you want to go to mars do you want to go to europa like where do you want to go you know i feel like maybe the moon would be cool but i i would i would be
satisfied with getting to go to like a space station that's just circling the earth and getting
to like see the views you know yeah yeah be cool if there's just like a bar up there you know i
know or like a hotel and you just like go stay a night in space be sickening i know i
think it's gonna happen soon i think in the next like 20 years someone's gonna do it because like
why not i know i just hope that a it happens before i'm too old and i'm about to die or b i
hope it's like not so outrageous that i can't afford it yeah i know i gotta start saving now
for my trip to space yeah you didn you did that trip to space fund.
You guys have retirement funds?
Oh, I have a trip to space fund.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cool, cool, cool.
Speaking of travel, and I said I wanted to talk about a favorite thing that had to do with travel.
And I know this is going to be very niche, but I feel like they're growing.
You know, they're a small business that's growing.
But have you heard and or flown on JSX?
I have not heard or flown on that.
Okay.
You used to be called JetSuite.
Oh, I know what that is.
I flew on it when it was called JetSuite.
Now it's called JSX.
And I got like looped in because my Instagram was like, oh, you're looking for flights?
Here is an ad for JSX.
And I was like, all right, what is this?
This is going to sound bougie because it is, but it isn't also.
I just went up to Monterey because I went to play golf with, like, my brothers and my nephews and stuff and grabbed an old car for my dad.
The number one thing that sucks about fucking flying in Los Angeles is going to LAX.
Yeah.
Worst place in the world, all right?
Seventh ring of hell.
No thank you.
But there is the Burbank airport,
which is like six miles away from me,
right down the street, okay?
That's where I fly in and out of.
See, it's where it's at.
And I told Derek today, I was like,
if you'd flown into Burbank, I'd go get you.
But bro, I'm not going out past Culver City for you.
Absolutely not. Are you kidding me? I wouldn't even get past Culver City for you. Absolutely not.
Are you kidding me?
I wouldn't even get on the 405.
No.
I avoid the 405 like the plague, bro.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I try to fly out of Burbank as much as possible.
Obviously, it's not as big of an airport.
But JSX does like six legs.
It does Burbank to Monterey, which is where I'm from.
So, I wanted that flight but they also
have like one to napa one to tahoe one to vegas okay and it's the closest thing that you can get
to flying private without flying private okay yeah you i you go to a hangar just a random hangar
if you don't go through any security they print out your ticket like it's a fucking receipt, by the way.
Like a CVS receipt.
It's like, boop, boop, boop.
Here you go.
Then you walk into this hangar.
They have like a lounge there, which is nice.
And they're serving beers or whatnot.
And you're chilling.
I could have shown up a minute beforehand.
Then I'd have been like, hold on.
Let me press the print button on your receipt.
Here you go. get on the plane.
So you sit there in the little lounge
in the giant hangar.
Then they pull,
they drag in the plane into the hangar.
And then they're like,
all right, everyone that's going to Monterey,
let's fucking go.
And then everyone just gets on this tiny little jet.
And then you fly to wherever you're going.
And then for the Monterey flight, you land.
But you don't go to the Monterey terminal where they have Southwest and American and all that kind of stuff.
Then you got to sit there and wait a baggage claim.
No.
They fucking pull out all the bags.
They put them on the ground.
And they say, all right, get the fuck out of here.
And then you walk down the little steps.
You grab your bag.
And then it's a different exit.
It's like you don't even go to the airport it's the greatest and here's the thing
you're like it's so expensive no it's not i got my flight for 189 bro 189 if i was going to monterey
normally like on just like southwest or whatever or like american it would have been well i only
got one way flight but it would have been 200 bucks, 150. For sure.
I was talking to my buddy Tanner about it.
And he's like, don't fucking tell anybody, dude.
Like, don't let people know about JSX.
And I'm like, I know, but I got to say, I loved it.
It's beautiful.
So a friend of mine, I just texted him to ask what it was called. Because he just flew from Dallas to Nashville on something very similar.
Yeah.
But I don't think it was JSX.
I think it was something like a different name.
Yeah.
But same concept.
Yeah. And I, which I've never seen it anywhere but california yeah but i feel like it's
starting to happen i know and i don't want to like tell people about it and then like all of a sudden
the price is gonna be outrageous and i'm like oh then i'll just fucking go back to the lax i guess
but i can't do that to my peeps and you know what the yf tears if you need to if you need a beep
here's the thing if you come to california because i know a lot of people don't actually live here
but if you come to california you want to bebop around california cool places you should do this
thing instead of like well it's always fun to drive like up and down the one or whatever but
a lot of people don't have a time and if you can be like oh we can do napa and tahoe and like vegas
and la and san francisco on this like private thing.
Dude, it's cheap.
Crazy.
I know.
That's kind of like my one big thing
that's kind of exciting.
Oh, the other thing.
So I went there.
You guys all know that I like old cars.
Like I've been fixing up my old Land Cruiser.
And so my dad has,
he's like getting to the point now
where he's like making his will
and asking like everyone
like what they want and everything.
And I jokingly was like, I want the Benz.
He's got this old Mercedes, a 1986 190E 2.3 16 valve.
They only made 2,000 of them.
But it looks like every bad guy from a 1980s movie that maybe sold drugs or was like a bully in like every you know like john hughes situation his car
if you know i'm saying i was like i want that he's like all right come get it so i went up there i
played golf on jsx shout out and then i got the car and i drive back down it's like a five hour
drive so here's the thing that he didn't tell me uh the uh the air conditioning does not work no
that's not a lot of things don't work and and it's going to be a whole little process, but it's a cool-looking car.
Anyways, the AXC doesn't work, and anyone who's driven from Monterey to L.A. knows that if you want to get there the fastest,
you've got to cut through Paso Robles on the 46 and go over the grapevine, which is where James Dean died, unfortunately.
grapevine, which is where James Dean died, unfortunately.
Anyways, just so you know, it's 7 million degrees.
And so I am sweating like a hooker in church driving this old car,
so concerned it's going to break down because it's so old.
And I finally was like- That would suck so bad.
So hard.
So hard.
And I was sweating so much and I was so uncomfortable that finally I had to strip down to my underwear.
I was just driving this old car in my underwear,
like be bopping around, going down.
And people were driving past and just like looking at me
and like, this guy's naked in his car.
And then there was a couple of times
when like younger girls were in the passenger seat
and looking down and like, look at this fucking,
is that the guy from The Bachelor?
And I'm like, beep hi just sweating bullets that's insane yeah anyway she made it so you're gonna restore this car and then it's gonna be your car or what yeah he said i can have it so
yeah i'm gonna restore it and then that's cool and then we're gonna see you know i don't know
the thing is i did that with the land cruise there and now everyone wants to buy it and i'm
like i'm not selling this thing and this actually things gonna happen this one i'm gonna soup it up
it's gonna be badass you'll be asked to buy it and i'm like no and then what do you why do i have
two cars i don't need that well maybe this could be like your new like side thing yeah side hustle
is like restoring cars and then and then selling them making some money i know
it's true but i'm not gonna want to probably get rid of it maybe i will it's a cool car but i'm
gonna start like i think on instagram start like showing people it and i mean like what should i do
to it because i have an i have a vision for what i want number one on the docket today was let's
see if we can get that ac fixed so i took it over to my mechanic and he was like, okay, so this is a really old car.
And like, we don't have this type of Freon anymore.
So we're going to need to redo the entire AC.
And I'm like, oh, already so expensive.
Here we go.
Cars are expensive.
Yeah, they are.
Batch, you want to do Batch?
Oh my gosh, duh it's not always that
weird episode of like half episode half men tell all where i'm like can we just have one or the
other i don't here's my complaint i got all sappy for the michael story i know and then i got all
like garland thomas are dicks and i was like was like, I went on too much of an emotional roller coaster there.
Like I wanted to stick with feeling bad about Michael.
Yeah.
I was shocked that he left before hometowns.
Dude, you're right there.
Right there.
Like you're going to go home to your kid like tomorrow because it's your hometown.
I know.
I mean, I get it but also yeah
like you're like you're right there like you've come this far i know he is right there feelings
he is right there but he's also not right there knowing how it works every guy's hometown takes
a week maybe not there i would have been like hey mine needs to be first or i'm gonna leave
yeah but he can't leave the bubble so they've got to wait for everyone's to be over.
I guess he could have left
and then like quarantine and came back and came.
No, I'm saying like he should have said to producers like,
hey, I need to go home.
So if my hometown can't be the first one
like that they go do, then I have to leave.
And they may have let him go first, you know?
Yeah, but he has to come back for the engagement portion
and for fantasy suites and stuff.
I know, but at least he would have gotten some time with his son.
I don't know.
I feel like it would have been,
I feel like it could have been worth at least having the hometown
to see how everything was going.
Yeah.
I would have been like, all right,
let's pay for a nanny to come out here with the kid
and you can see him every once in a while.
But that's, listen, that's not the show.
Like there have been people with kids before.
You can't do that, you know?
Yeah.
I did feel for him, but also like Katie's face when he started breaking up with her
was fucking terrifying too.
I was like, oh, she knows what's coming and she is pissed.
Pissed.
Yeah.
It was the one time I think she kind of let her guard down a little bit and wasn't thinking of like, she was in micro world and not thinking of macro world.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
I know.
Because she sat there and said like, I saw us walking away at the end of this
like do you think he was her top choice at that moment i don't know in my mind he was third
because i think it goes greg and or blake at one and then michael but yeah but if you're doing that
show like the thing that every at least i what I've heard from every like bachelorette, when you're doing that show, your biggest fear is you're choosing someone that doesn't really want to be married to you.
It's a competition and the guy just wants to win and he just really wants to become famous.
And if that's really what your fear is, then Michael's the right choice for it.
Agree.
But yeah,
she was just like,
like seeing red piercing daggers when he's just like,
and then when she sees him at mental all,
I mean,
she showed no emotion.
Yeah.
I think she,
I think she's mad at him yeah and also
like i see where she's coming from because it's like it's a little bit of if this is how you felt
why didn't you tell me so i could have had andrew s stick around longer that's that's something that
we deal with a lot in paradise big problem always is is if you knew that you didn't want to do this or be here you shouldn't have
come because you've taken the place of someone that does want to be here you know right yeah
so yeah i listen it's it's a tough thing but i mean you're not a michael guy and i have been a
michael guy after that are you kind of a michael guy i think more so like i liked him a lot more i guess this last episode than i have
yeah not really i mean no you're not he's fine it's okay i just like everyone's like oh michael
the bachelor and i don't i don't like that well i mean listen if you can't do you know two months
on the bachelor then you can't do two months being The Bachelor. Agree. I think that's out of the cards for him.
Yeah.
But who knows?
Maybe not.
I was getting vibes like Andrew might be The Bachelor.
His hot seat, if you want to call it that,
was very Bachelor vibes.
Yes, very.
And just like things that were being said,
I really hope that like I find love or my person or whatever.
And Tayshia was like,
oh, you'll get it.
You'll get your chance or something.
And I was like, hmm.
Yeah, there was a part of me that was like,
are they going to announce it right now?
That's what I thought too.
Yeah.
But I guess they're going to wait.
I've been saying they need to wait for Paradise 10
because who knows who could pop out of there, you know?
Yeah.
When they talked to me about
potentially being the bachelor and they had me do a hot seat with Chris and then they aired the
the mental all and they cut me from it that's how I found out that I wasn't going to be the bachelor
yeah and I'm like watching that being like okay he's definitely still in the running in this whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. What about my boy Connor?
Come on.
You had to love it.
I liked it for him.
It was fun.
Like, I loved this mental, actually.
I usually hate them.
And I thought this one was really good.
And a lot of that had to do with Connor and his stint with the girl in the audience.
I loved it.
I mean, like, listen, you couldn't pay me to kiss Connor. But, I mean, great for her. to do with connor and his stint with the girl in the audience i loved it i mean like listen i
wouldn't you couldn't pay me to kiss connor but i mean great for her he does kind of look like a
bad kisser like that looked like a bad kiss yeah it looked terrible but she loved it so i mean
get your life yeah and she was hot yeah i know i'm into the whole thing i i just like yeah how do you
go about getting that done?
She's got to be in the audience, and then she's got to figure out how to get a hold of a producer
and be like, hey, I got this idea.
I want to make out with this guy.
And then they got to be like, okay.
All the producers have to be on board with it.
And then they have to go mic her up.
So many things had to happen for her to be able to do that,
where I'm just like crazy lady.
What are you doing? How'd you do that?
And also like I'm just amazed that
they were like okay let's go with this
because so many things could have gone wrong.
I wonder if she knows somebody
behind the scenes. Yeah
I don't know. Where like they trusted
her enough to do it you know. Yeah
because she could have chickened out and then Connor could
also have been like I'm dating a girl back home.
Or like, I've got a girlfriend in paradise.
You know, like there's a lot of things
that could have gone wrong.
Uh-huh.
But it went so right.
It did.
And I just, I love Connor.
Like he just is that guy.
I think what I like about him,
I recognize that he's a dork.
And for you, you recognize he's a dork and you don't like that.
Because you're looking at it in terms of like being sexually attracted to somebody where I'm just looking at it as being like being entertained.
But like I like how he's so unapologetically a dork.
Like he knows what he is and he just does it.
And I respect him for that.
I like that.
That's good.
That's a good point of view.
If I was one of those guys, I would have grabbed that fucking ukulele and broken it over my knee and be like no more no more no more
i know i kind of wish that would have happened two favorite things that happen when they showed
caitlin getting engaged to first of all like i love jason and i understand the sentiment like
they met on a podcast but you best believe you best believe if i asked sarah to marry me on a podcast she'd be like all right let's take a beat let's turn around
let's rethink this and let's do it again not i would be like that too yeah like i would have been
like i would have been like you know what i'm gonna stop you right there just don't say another
word yeah let's just we'll pretend this never happened yeah go get your shit together but it was really cute for them and i mean i i teared up a little bit when jason was like
you know when we did our very first podcast like i just would have never guessed that i would have
met my best friend and the mother of my children and i just i got emotional i love how he cried
and she did not cry.
They're both really emotional, though.
I'm kind of surprised she didn't.
I'm surprised, too, because probably in the back of her mind,
she was like, let's put a pin in this
and let's do this
in the Maldives.
What are we doing here?
I thought that was fun,
funny.
And then the other thing
I thought was really funny.
First of all,
Thomas,
where you got to be, bro?
What are you doing?
I don't think they should have
let him do that.
I think they should have said,
you either come and be on the show
or you don't.
Yeah.
Maybe he had COVID or something.
Like, who knows?
Because here's the thing.
Thomas is,
and I think the problem
that everyone has with him
is that he is very, very polished.
Everything he says, everything he does, how he presents himself, it's very, very rehearsed.
Down to how he styled his Zoom call.
Oh, I know.
That's nuts.
I was like, the most Thomas thing ever is to be like, I live in a West Elm ad.
Like everything was like perfectly placed there's a
little ladder and a and a lantern off to the side it's like where the fuck are you dude
are you in restoration hardware right now
i wondered if he did that or if like the producers had done that. I know. I think so.
But I wouldn't be surprised if he was like.
Yeah, I wouldn't either.
He does seem like that kind of guy.
Yeah, he does.
I agree with you.
I thought the whole thing was funny.
Actually, the thing that I think I didn't like the most was the bloopers.
I feel like the bloopers weren't that good this year.
They sucked.
Right?
Yes, they sucked.
And then like the two things that were good that should have been bloopers was they finally explained how there was like this whole other part of the date.
That was funny.
The British talking in the credit roll.
Yeah, yeah.
I loved that.
I mean, those two were great.
But like other than that, I was like, these bloopers suck.
Yeah, they weren't very good.
Yeah.
Anyways. than that i was like these bloopers suck yeah they weren't very good yeah anyways um the funniest
thing in the bloopers was tasha with the stick and at the end yeah that was that was hilarious
that was good it's uh she like literally fell on the ground she fell down she fell down and tiny
little five foot one katie's like trying to like hoist her up you can't uh-huh it was insane all
right so we're getting close to the end i know what two episodes left yeah i think so wow where's
your money i feel like it it's greg is who she's gonna want to be at the end but i don't know
what's gonna i mean obviously like they're killing us with the whole like caitlin's like what do you
want to happen and she's like i want someone to book my flight home yeah it's't know what's going to happen. Obviously, they're killing us with the whole, Caitlin's like, what do you want to happen?
She's like, I want someone to book my flight home.
It's like, shit, what's going to go down?
Do you think she's going to leave without getting anybody?
Maybe.
Maybe, I don't know.
Who's left?
Is it like Expressions guy?
Expressions guy is just like,
he's got to be looking around being like,
I don't even know if they know I'm still here.
You know?
I think they just forgot to like book my flight home
and I'm just,
he's like sweeping up the floor and stuff.
He's like pretending he works there now
because he's just like,
maybe they think I just work at the hotel, I guess.
Expressions guy,
and they got Blake and got Greg.
Yeah.
So it's Blake and Greg.
Who you got?
I'm telling you, I think she's going to want Greg.
And for some reason, I'm feeling like he's not going to be down.
No, but that's also not what you've been saying this whole time.
You've been saying that Blake isn't going to be ready.
Blake's definitely not ready.
Yeah.
All right, well, we shall see.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, good stuff.
We shall.
And then Paradise.
I know.
Then it starts.
Wait.
That'll be fun.
They put out a teaser today,
and you see me crying in it, so.
I know.
What are you crying about?
I don't know if I want to ruin it for people.
Give us a hint.
It has to do with Connor.
Oh, wow, your boy.
My boy.
All right, I think that's enough batch.
Yeah.
You got any fave things, bro, or what?
I got a least fave thing.
What is it?
I think I may have mentioned it on our Zoom this our zoom this past week but i just can't watch
the new gossip girl yeah can't do it yeah have you watched it at all no because it sucks i mean
i talked about it on the zoom i think or maybe i i can't remember but i'm a chuck bass guy and
chuck bass ain't there i know honestly like it's just not good at all. Yeah. I can't watch it.
That's a bummer.
Well, I got something. It's a bummer.
I got something good for you.
Okay.
Gunpowder Milkshake.
What?
What is that?
It's on Netflix and the cast is insane.
All right?
It's Karen Gillian.
And you might not know who that is, but you know all the things she's been in.
Like what?
She's Nebula in Guardians of the Galaxy.
She's the hot chick in Jumanji.
Like the OG Jumanji?
No, the new one.
Oh, I don't think I saw the new one.
Yes, you have with Kevin Hart and The Rock.
I didn't see it.
You need to watch Jumanji.
Do I?
Yes.
Because the original was so good.
How can you beat that?
It's actually better than the original, and I'll tell you why.
There's no way.
Jack Black, Kevin Hart, The Rock are in a movie together.
Okay. okay and in the in the second one jack black kevin hart the rock danny devito and danny glover
and nick jonas oh and let's throw in like colin hanks just for funsies anyways so karen gillian
is in gunpowder milkshake so you know who else is in it?
Lena Headley.
You know who that is?
I sure do.
She's, I don't know if I can say this.
I guess I can.
She's dating my buddy, Ozark Mark.
Ozark Mark's dating Circe Lannister?
They've been dating for a while.
What?
Yeah.
I'll have to text him and make sure I can leave that in, but I'm pretty sure you can Google it.
That's amazing.
Anyway, so she's in it.
And then, oh, Paul Giamatti is in it.
Angela Bassett's in it.
I mean, like the star power is crazy.
All right.
So here's the thing.
Wow.
Three generations of women fight back against those who could take everything from them.
Gunpowder milkshake.
It's very stylized.
Think Dick Tracy.
But also very female empowerment because it's all women.
And it starts out with the lead, Karen Gillian.
You realize that she's a hitman.
She comes across a little girl in a hit and needs to save her, right? So then she gets
burned by her hitman squad, kind of similar to John Wick, if you will. And then you find out her
mom, Lena Headley, Cersei Lannister, was also a badass hitwoman. And then Angela Bassett and these
two other women who are actually amazing actresses, They are like also badass hit women that help out.
It's a spaghetti western meets Kill Bill meets Dick Tracy.
And I'll tell you what, it's good.
And it's on Netflix?
Yeah.
What's it called again?
The name is so weird.
Gunpowder Milkshake.
Gunpowder Milkshake.
Check it out, dude.
I'll watch it.
Should.
Have you seen Sex and the City?
The original one?
Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
I'm so upset.
Men are trash.
Why?
And you know what?
Men are trash, and they were trash back then, and they're trash now.
They just are.
That's what I'm learning from this show.
So you're watching Sex and the City for the first time right now?
Yeah, I told you this a couple weeks ago. What character
do you identify with the most?
Samantha? Or
Charlotte? Carrie for sure.
Carrie for sure. Yeah.
You think you're a boss lady?
She's the cool chick, you know?
As a boy, Charlotte.
Charlotte.
She is dumber than a box of rocks, though.
Yeah, I know, but she was.
She's just tiny and brunette.
That's the only reason you think that.
Yes, I guess.
You're such a psycho.
Oh, my God.
Okay, well, Big is a piece of hot garbage.
Dates Carrie for years, breaks up with her once,
they get back together
and won't commit,
won't get serious,
doesn't want to be married,
you know,
just whatever.
Drags Carrie along
for years and years
only to go to fucking Paris
and meet some 22-year-old
and propose to her
in like three months.
What a piece of trash.
But I will say this.
Aiden is a good guy and she fucks Aiden over a lot.
So is that his name?
Yeah, it's John Corbin, but his name's Aiden in the show.
And yes, guys are pieces of trash,
but she is a piece of trash sometimes too in that show.
I mean, I watched this show fucking 20 years ago.
Only because Big treated her like garbage the first two seasons.
So now she's jaded and hard and stone cold.
And now she's like, well, now I'm going to treat everybody else like shit
because he treated me like shit.
Yeah, but that's a vicious cycle.
And you could say the same thing for Big.
Like Big was treated like shit in college and got cheated on.
I don't know.
I don't know Big's fucking origin story. I'm just
saying there's no excuse for treating someone bad because someone else treats you bad. That's not
fair. It's not fair, but sometimes that's just how the dice get rolled. You're justifying bad behavior.
I'm not justifying it. I'm saying that your actions have consequences. And a lot of times,
the way you treat somebody really affects them going forward. And a lot of times like the way you treat somebody really affects them for the
going forward and a lot of times like that's not shit you can control yeah no but my argument is
that someone could have done that to big and that's why he is the way he is maybe but i don't
really know anyways it's so dumb this show's so old but they're coming back but not without samantha
they're doing a movie but without samantha yeah yeah they've done a couple of movies miley was
actually miley had a cameo in one of them got it uh i think it was the second one have you seen
sarah duska parker lately i saw her the other day and she has like a full head of gray hair
and she is rocking it and it is the sickest thing i've ever seen like you go girlfriend i think she
looks so badass cool cool anyway that's what i've been watching. This is something I think about a lot.
Have you ever thought about temperature?
In what way?
Like your body temperature?
Yeah.
So your body temperature is 100 degrees.
Not quite, but yeah.
98.6, but around there.
But the temperature outside that we like is like 70.
Because if it's 100 degrees outside, we're like, this is so hot.
But why is that? But that doesn't make any sense because it's as hot outside we're like this is so hot but why is that
but that doesn't make any sense because it's as hot as we are we should think that's normal
it doesn't make any sense but if we order some food and it's 90 degrees we're gonna say this
is fucking cold this needs to be 200 degrees you know the soup is the soup is cold it's only 100
degrees it needs to be 200 degrees doesn't make make any sense. And also, like, we get
into water. If it's 70 degrees,
which is what we like on the outside temperature,
it's fucking freezing. It's gotta be, like,
at least 80. And if it's a hot tub,
it's gotta be at, like, 110,
which is higher than what we like, you know?
Yeah. I've never thought about this,
to tell you the truth. I don't understand.
What's going on with temperatures? I feel like it's part of, like,
the simulation being fucked up. Maybe because our body temperature is so hot
that we like to be in a colder temperature to like level it out or something maybe i guess
but why are we trying to radiate heat out you know like i don't know yeah it's weird right
yeah i feel like we could really stand to have a guest on this show that's a doctor to answer some of these hard-hitting questions.
Yeah.
This is not a favorite song by any means, but it's just so funny.
Lorde has a song called Stoned at the Nail Salon.
Mm-hmm. Relatable.
Have you listened to it?
No.
It's insane wherever that leads
cause all the beautiful
girls they will fade like
the roses
and all the times they will
change and love come around
I don't know
maybe I I don't know Maybe I
Just don't let the nails sell on
Maybe I
Just don't let the nails sell on
Again
I mean mean I think a lot of YFTers can relate to that
song
yeah if you smoke weed
you've probably gone
I don't fucking know
the stretch
I mean your mom can relate to that that's for sure
100%
so we've played her before.
She's a friend.
Her name is Taylor Bono.
Okay.
She's got a new song out called Remember the Bad, and it's so sad, and it's so good.
I'm so close, laughing at your dumb jokes.
That only I would know.
Oh, the way that you would kiss me.
Thought it'd be my last.
Remember, and it kills me.
All the good we had and i
almost want you back want you back but then i remember the bad like all the things you said
and broke my confidence like i was never gotta remember the bad.
Isn't that so sad?
We all have revisionist history.
Gotta remember the bad.
I like the message.
And then Coldplay has out a new song.
Oh, yeah. Have you listened to it?
No.
I actually love it.
Coloratura?
Uh-huh.
Can't be saying that right.
Can't.
That's how I would have said it, though.
Coloratura.
Coloratura. Coloratura. Coloratura. Coloratura.
Coloratura.
Coloratura.
Coloratura.
It's the end of death and doubt.
And loneliness is out.
Coloratura.
The place we dreamed about.
The melodies inside yourself.
And love come pouring out.
And everyone's allowed.
We're feathered by the crowd.
So Chris Martin's been listening to a lot of Pink Floyd during the pandemic.
Well, I'm here for it because I loved it.
I mean, who doesn't like Pink Floyd?
I know.
Have you ever seen Coldplay live?
Yes.
They're so good.
Yeah.
They're one of those bands where you're like, I'm not a fan of this band.
Then you go and you know every fucking song.
You're like, well, I guess I am.
You know, I know all the songs. Their set just always looks so good and all the effects and the lights
and just all so good yeah it was like when i went to go see snow patrol and i was like i don't really
know any snow patrol songs and i went there and i was like oh yeah no i know all the songs got it
okay i guess i'm a snow patrol fan there you go i saw war on drugs have a new track out oh i saw
that tell did you listen to it?
I did.
But you didn't want to play it, so maybe it's not good?
No, it is.
It's just classic War on Drugs, you know?
Oh, good.
Ain't broke, don't fix.
Exactly.
They're one of my favorite bands to listen to when I'm high on gas. Banging on a drum.
You turn me loose
maybe i'm the living proof
what have i been running
from I've been running from.
Yeah, you're right.
That's pretty typical.
All right.
Well, anything else?
I think that's all I got.
All right.
Before we go, I want to say a big thanks to everyone who hung out with us on that final Patreon last Friday.
That was a lot of fun.
Sorry, my dad tried to
fucking you know get in on it typical dad shit so funny i mean like thank god i wasn't like because
he didn't really understand what it was but it very well could have been like some very important
business thing you know and i was like dad what are you doing? Like you knew, like you coming in being like,
Hey,
we got to go to dinner in 30 minutes.
I'm like,
yeah,
don't worry.
Typical.
You're like,
I'm good.
I got it on the schedule.
Yeah.
Just so you know,
we'll still be posting content in Patreon.
You have access to the discord chat room until the end of the month.
So we still got that going for you.
We asked the Patreons out there who is going to be the next bachelor.
A couple people said Andrew. Lauren
said someone new to the franchise. And
Lauren, no. It's not happening.
But everyone's saying Andrew, except for JM
says Michael. Andrew.
Andrew. I'm here for it.
I'm here for it. Alright.
Well, I think that's everything.
Alright, alright, alright.
I want to go get stoned at Nail Salon
now. You love it?
I want
to go get stoned at Nail Salon. I don't
know if I love the song so much.
Well, I'm going to the Nail Salon tomorrow. Should I give it a try?
Get stoned.
Because you're going to think all the Nail Salon
ladies are talking shit about you, I'm sure.
For sure.
You know? Judging you know judging you judging you being
like look at this entitled stupid chick but they're right doing it in their their language
or whatever you're gonna get all freaked out then you're gonna be like oh no am i gonna get toe
fungi finger fungi so i have my sister my sister got finger fungi from a mani-pedi and
Oh my God. Gotta watch out. Make sure
that they have the tools that come
out of a plastic bag. Make sure they have the liner
in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But anyways. I know about that. So now
there's some things to be paranoid about when you
go to the nail salon.
Great. Yeah. Alright.
Well, are you going anywhere anytime soon?
I'm going to Chicago on Wednesday, the day this podcast comes out.
Oh, Chi-town, bro.
For Lollapalooza.
Lollapalooza.
Lollapalooza.
Well, have fun.
Do some drugs with, like, some cool famous musicians, and then tell me about it later.
Like my sister?
Yeah.
There you go.
Well, I don't know where she is in her recovery right now,
but you know what I'm saying.
Someone cool.
We'll see.
All right.
See you later.
Love y'all.
Love you guys.
Bye. Bye.
Whoa.
So I just saw on Chicks in the Office Twitter.
Hold on, I'm still.
You can leave this in.
Oh, okay.
That Tara, who made out with Connor on Mental All, is a musician.
Yeah, she is.
And has a new song out today that's awfully convenient.
Is it called Kissing Boys?
I think it's called Play With Fire.
Oh, okay.
She's cute.
She is cute.
I wonder if she lives in Nashville.
Probably.
Probably.
Musicians do.
All right.
Later.
Goodbye. Bye.
I will say this. The Lord's butt looks great in the cover of this thing, you know?
It does, yeah.
Chef's kiss.
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