Your Happy Hour - Episode 18: Enduring through Exhaustion

Episode Date: April 5, 2024

Happy Friday everyone! Tune in to episode 18 and let’s chat about: Enduring through Exhaustion.In this episode we are joined by Karen KJ Johnson, an influential leader inspiring women globally to embrace their brilliance, presence and self-confidence. KJ is the founder and CEO of The Konfident Woman. She also holds roles as the Executive Director of Dress for Success Dallas and Partnership Director of NAWBO DFW.We unpack topics like: work-life balance, discipline and sacrifice, speaking your needs, owning your desires and finding your tribe by showing up as your true self in the world!We’ll be here - every Friday - celebrating with you!Connect with us @ friday-feels.co▶ Podcast Chapters01:16 Welcome to Karen KJ Johnson!02:25 The Journey to Today11:36 Pushing to be your best self15:53 Work-life balance? Let’s talk Discipline and Sacrifice20:47 Addressing the Triple C’s… 25:10 Speak your needs and owning your desires28:55 Be honest about failures37:37 You gotta have hope41:22 Take the rest!47:55 Find Your Tribe: Who do you wanna be?51:35 Feel the global you55:30 Gems of the week! 01:01:40 Final thoughts and connect with KJ!01:04:50 Next week and farewell!

Happy Friday beautiful people and hello to you all out there tuning in for your first sip of the weekend. you tune into your happy hour with Friday Feels we're celebrating all you working professionals out there doing your crazy craft embracing the beauty of being human and connecting authentically we are host Saj and Nicole we're living and working around the world holding space for you and keeping it raw and real as we share fresh content with you every week follow us on linkedin and friday feels and instagram at these friday feels for updates throughout the week in our last episode we chatted with leon kowalski founder of the keep crypto exchange and an entrepreneur with a truly a great passion for freedom living the life you want to live through self-trust both personally and financially check out episode 17 to learn about bitcoin

decentralization and more and this week we are privileged to be joined by the lovely karen kj johnson who is influential leader, inspiring women globally to embrace their brilliance, presence, and self-confidence. And she's the founder and CEO of The Confident Woman. So with an incredible track record in various industries and her current roles, not to mention numerous awards, top 50 purpose and powerful women, top 25 global influencer, top 50 powerful women in business to know now. We are so excited to have this lovely lady join us today as we kickstart our theme for this month,

Enduring Through Exhaustion. So a very big welcome to you, KJ. It's wonderful to connect with you. Indeed, ladies. Thank you so much. I'm super excited to be here. Sprung has sprung. And I'm excited. I'm excited. Yes. So a little backstory. KJ and I met through Ruki going to a Naobo event in Dallas in their holiday party. And she just had you just had such an amazing presence. And I thought, oh my god, this lady has to come on the podcast. You're just born for it. And so, you know, it would be great. I mean, Nicole and I have given a really good background, but it would be great to kind of understand a little bit about your professional journey for our listeners and what this topic means to you. Yes. So we did have an amazing time. Thank you so much for coming all the way from New York,

right, to see us here in Dallas. So we were super excited to have you here. So, you know, just a little bit about my journey. You know, I always find this question an interesting question, because I'm asked it, of course, often. And I remember one time somebody asked me the question and I said, you know, I'm just a little country girl from Dallas, right? And even though that is true, you know, so actually born and raised here in Dallas. So usually you don't find too many people that are actually born here, still here. Usually we have a lot of foreigners here, right? But I'm one of those. And really, I've had the great pleasure to work for a variety of organizations. In fact, my first job was back then, it was called Sanger Harris. Today it's called Macy's, right? So I worked actually in their HR department. And then from

there, I went to the post office, like who would imagine, right, working for the government. But my mom was so firm about her kids getting on at the post office, right? Because she, of course, worked there. I did that for about eight years. And I was just like, I do not like this, right? I really wanted to give more, you know, and I've always been a leader. And so I really wanted to jump into corporate America and that I did. So I've worked for a variety of telecommunications company. It's probably not one that you can't maybe sprint. I didn't work for them, but I did work for AT&T. I worked for T-Mobile, but I spent the majority of my career at Verizon. And of course, back then it was called GTE and

Bell Atlantic, right? Both of those organizations merged to become Verizon. And really my background was training in sales. So I taught salespeople how to go out and close deals. And one of the things that I teach people each and every day, especially women, is that we are all salespeople, right? And so sometimes people don't like to hear that. And I'm like, well, yeah, you are. Because if you have a boyfriend, you sold yourself to him. If you have a job, you sold yourself to the employer, right?

Sometimes we're selling ourselves to our kids, right? We're convincing them of certain things, right? So we are all salespeople. It's just depending upon like, how do you place it? And then salespeople sometimes, right? Just, you know, it's a funny like, oh, I don't want them to know that I'm a salesperson. I'm like, why not? Right? Because two things, right? So I always tell people that no organization can exist without sales. Right. A lot of times operations think that it's them. Right. Where all the power lies. And I'm like, but operations can't do what they need to do unless sales brings in the client. Right. So it's all on sales. And I teach that sales means nothing but serving active leads with extraordinary service.

Right. So when you think about it, right, you're just serving them with extraordinary service. Right. They have a problem. You got a solution. You show them the benefit. It's a done deal. Right. So I won't get into sales, but that is definitely something I do admire. So I won't get into sales, but that is definitely something I do admire. When I was at Verizon, I had an opportunity to become the president or not the president, the vice president of internal affairs, as well as vice president of external affairs for our employee resource groups. And they truly were 501C3s, which are nonprofit organizations. And I absolutely loved it. I remember saying that if I could do this full time, I could do it free. Like it didn't feel like work. Little did I know that later in life, it would become full circle, right? Where today I serve

as the executive director for Dress for Success Dallas. So my passion has always been about helping women. I usually share that I wasn't one that was able to break the glass ceiling when I was in corporate America, not because I wasn't talented, not because I didn't know my stuff, right? I later learned it was really just not my calling. That's not where God had me to go. And sometimes we have to realize this, but came back full circle. And here I am doing the very thing that I love to do. And that is to empower women, to encourage women, to inspire women, to truly go after their goals. But at the same time, understand that the route that you're taking may not necessarily be where you need to go. You have to like stay focused, right? And lean into opportunities, right? That may come your way. Now that's a long answer for me to tell you

a little bit about my background, but yeah. So, you know, I had started my own business, which, you know, I still have. And it's really about me being a professional speaker, right? So I go out and do empowerment engagements. I apologize, I got something in my throat. But it's really just about uplifting women and helping them to realize that they do have brilliance and for them to own it and stop hiding and shrieking behind other women and stop hiding and shrinking behind the desk, right? All of those things, because we are all uniquely brilliant and somebody needs the very thing

that you have. And if you don't show up, how are they going to find it? Right? So it's always about that. And then, of course, coaching executive women. So for me, it's not about just getting the seat at the table. Right. It's about are you preparing another seat for another woman to come up? Right. So it's really understanding the power. Right. And really the reason why it's important for us to have those seats at the table so that we can help

close the wage gap so that we can help close and get more women in leadership. Because if we don't, we'll never close the gap on wages. Right. So, again, a long answer to answer your question, but I do hope that that helps. Yeah. No, I think it's awesome. I can listen to you talk all day. I'm like, yes, preach. Absolutely. And I love your accent. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, we got a lot of accents on this call. Right.

On this podcast, this week's episode, I mean. So I think it's really interesting because some people might listen to your talk and think that your content is only centered around women. And I want to give a chance to the listeners that are also men because we try to be inclusive on our podcast hey man i constantly get pushed i constantly get pushed to to talk about the men and how they're what they're doing and how they're feeling and including them um and i know we've chatted on this so i would say while your talk is centered, because a lot of the engagements that you do is towards women, a lot of the takeaways, though, are for any, anyone, right, who is kind of looking to make a change and really pushing themselves to be their best selves. Would that

be a fair statement? Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. So we're definitely all inclusive of men, you know what I'm saying? So I don't necessarily focus a whole lot on them because a lot of things is easier for them. You know what I'm saying? So it's really just trying to help the woman get there, but definitely all inclusive of men. We love men, right? And we're glad that they exist, right? And then there are a lot of men that are allies for us, right? Because they know, unfortunately, right, the disservice, right, that women have had to deal with. So, but even in talking about dressing for success, right, I'll talk about, you know, dressing for success for the men. Some of them have struggles to get promoted, and the tips can work for them too. So definitely all-inclusive of men. Awesome. I just want to start off there because I don't want to get in a backlash.

Right, right. We love the men. I get it. So now let's go back to talking about how you help women. Right. Now that we done got that out the way. Yeah. So tell me what this, you do so many things. And I know Nicole and I also, you know, run a few businesses. We're on different projects.

And this is a really important topic for me, especially. And it's actually our most requested topic by the speakers. A lot of speakers want to speak on this topic. And I'm super excited to have you come and open it up. So tell us what this topic means to you. And then of course, we can share some of our stories around that. But I think as a working professional in this day and age, and maybe in all days and ages, you know, this is so important. I always used to think like, oh, you know, in a joint household, everyone should share the responsibilities of making money and of doing the chores and of cooking and cleaning. that originally they had a really good division of labor because one person would make the money and one person was like the king or queen of the household or the leader of the household and then

the leader of making money and it simply allowed you to do what you do really well because you're the only one doing it and that's all you're focused on but when you're in only one doing it. And that's all you're focused on. But when you're in the thick of it and you're trying to, you know, do everything, it gets very exhausting. It does. Especially, you know, in this economy where there's so many people that super proud to have them kind of living their authentic self and doing side hustles or doing passion projects and really following what they what they love or trying to figure out what they love trying to make money from it that's why we kind of talk about these topics is to kind of learn from people who have managed managed to do it and have some advice on it yeah and so I think it's really important to kind of chat with people who do so many things to share.

You know, is it that you do so many things because you love so many things and you're never exhausted doing them? Or are you doing them while you're exhausted? What's your take on this? It's all of that. It's all of that. Right. So, you know, I'm one that I do throw my hat in a lot of rings, right? A lot of arenas to do things, right?

So I have my own business. I'm the executive director for Address for Success Dallas. I currently serve as the programs director and the partnership director for Navajo DFW. partnership director for Navajo DFW. And then not too long ago, I had the audacity to throw my name in the hat for the upcoming year to, you know, become the president-elect for Navajo DFW. And so we'll get results on Friday regarding that. And then that becomes truly a three-year commitment because if I'm truly elected as president-elect, then the following year I'll automatically become the president. And then the following year, right, I'll be the immediate past president. So it's like a three-year commitment.

But, you know, for me, this is really around passion. So when I think about being the executive director for Dress for Success Dallas, right, we're about helping women achieve that economic independence through career development tools. Right. And looking good as the programs and partnership director for NABO. It's all about helping women own businesses-owned businesses grow and scale their business. So I'm kind of doing two things as it relates to many women who are still working full-time, but have that part-time hustle. And a lot of them want to take that part-time hustle into full-time and then be able to walk away from corporate. And the beauty is, right, you can do that or you can do both. Like it's whatever tickles your fancy.

And I tell people that, you know, because people ask me all the time, KJ, how do you do it? You know, boom, boom, boom. And it really comes down to two words, right? And that is being disciplined and then making sacrifice. People talk a lot about, or they ask me a lot about work-life balance. I tell people that work-life balance does not exist, right? You simply need to be where you need to be when you need to be there. to be when you need to be there. That's it, right? So if home has a situation and you need to be at home, then you got to be at home, right? And take time off from work, right? Figure that out, you know, coworkers, right? If you have your own business, hopefully you have other employees

who's going to have to pick up the slack because you got to take care of stuff at home. And guess what? If you don't, that means you may have to close your doors for a few days, right? And do what you need to do because family is calling. On the flip side of that, if you got a big contract that you're trying to close, right? As the owner of a business, right? You got to make sure that you're putting everything that you got into that so that you can close the deal. And maybe you don't get to go to your son's soccer game. Maybe you don't get to go to take your daughter to Mary's birthday party. Right. Because Mary going to have other birthday parties like it's OK. Right. Or who said that we have to celebrate on Mary's day. Like we can celebrate Mary's birthday the next day.

Right. You know what I'm saying? So sometimes, right, we can find ourselves just like, oh no, I got to do this. And, you know, and you don't, right. So it's, it's discipline and sacrifice. Right. And, you know, I was just speaking with a young lady. She says I'm her coach, even though we're not officially like in an agreement, but I do that a lot too. And she was just like, KJ, you know, how do you do this? And I was like, I try to make sure that I go to bed by nine and I get up at four. Right. And once I get up at four, you know, I have my, you know, two hour window. I do things I need to do, right. Exercise, right. All of those things. things I need to do, right? Exercise, right? All of those things. And then I'm in my emails,

right? I'm checking any emails, you know, so you just have to plan, right? So that you can get your day done. And like I said, there are times when work may call for a little bit more, right? Versus home. And I think for us as women, where we get hung up is that we believe, we think, we personally have to do it all. And here's the answer to that. You do not. So no differently than you would if you were working full time, You have a team, right, that gets things done. You do the same thing at home. If you have a husband, your kids are old enough to do things, right, it's having that family meeting and saying, hey, this is what mama is working on, right? This is what wifey is working on, right? I'm trying to move to the next level, right? Whatever the case may be.

So for the next three months, for the next six months, it's probably gonna be tight on mama's time, right? On wifey's time, right? And here's what I need from you, right? And sure, this is what it's gonna do for me. And this is what it's gonna do for the impact that you'll make. And then this is what it's going to do for me. And this is what it's going to do for the impact that you'll make. And then this is what it's going to do for our family, right? No differently than if you decided to go back to school and get a degree,

right? Or an advanced degree or certification, right? So you got to put in the time to study, right? And so you have to set those healthy boundaries. Now here's the deal, right? After setting the healthy boundaries, you got to make sure that you honor them, right? So kids, husband, right? What have you, they may knock on the door, right? And it's this time period where you're working on writing a book, right? And if they come in the door, you got to make sure that you own, right, and enforce the healthy boundaries. And it is, hey, Ben, remember, you know, this is the time that mommy is working on her book. Hey, husband, right, this is right, did we forget that? Right? And remind them and then, you know,

escort them on out the door and go back. But what we'll do is we'll let them come in. Oh, mommy, da, da, da, da. And then we, oh, honey, come on. You know, because we feel like, like whatever it is that they need, like, like the daddy can't do that for them. The daddy can do that. Right. And back to, you know, cause it's interesting, right. When you mentioned that, Sarge, I, one of the things I talk about in one of my speeches is that, you know, the stereotype, right. And one of the things that I talk about when it comes to domestic behaviors, we're expected to do the triple C's, right? And what's the triple C's? Care for the children, cook the food and clean the house. Those are the three C's that it's automatically right

that the woman would do that. But look, I had a son. He was the only child I had. I taught him to cook. I taught him to clean, right? And wash his clothes. Because if you're at home by yourself, who's going to do it? I mean, you know what I'm saying? Like, you got to have, right. So you got to be able to do that. And guess what? If they don't do a good job, so let's say they put bleached in with the color clothes, right, and they're ruined, right? You know, some of those things you can use for rags, right, or whatever. But then go hire someone to wash the

clothes, right? You can go hire, there's people that have jobs and businesses, right, that does that, right? And so if you don't have time to do it or another family member in the house doesn't know how to do it quite the way you need it done, then you hire for that. Same thing with meals and cooking, right? There's so many people that will do meal preps for a whole week, for 30 days, whatever. Hire the help that you need so that you can do the thing, right, that's right now most important. And that may be, like I said, you're seeking a directorship, you're seeking a VP position, you may have to travel a lot, you know what I'm saying? So, you know, you have to hire the help that you need to get those things done. And guess what?

Be okay with it, right? So that's usually my advice for women out there. Right. How do you get all of this stuff done? And for me, my son today, Lord, I almost hate to say this. My son will be 39 this year. Right. And he's my only child. So I'm, I'm single, you know, and yes, I have a male friend. We don't talk on the phone every day. We don't see each other every day. You know, he's a salesman. He travels a lot. You know, I'm doing my thing and we see each other when we see each other. Right. You know what I'm saying? And we both are okay with that. Right. Because I understand what he's doing and he understands what I'm doing. You know, I'm more of a out in front person on stage and stuff. And he's not.

You know, he's more behind the scenes. Yeah, babe, you go for that. You know, I got you. I'm supporting you. Boom, boom, boom. You know what I'm saying? So it's it's really about having those conversations with family members, those that you love and say, hey, this is where we are. family members, those that you love and say, hey, this is where we are. And this is what, you know, we need to look at some alternative ways to help us be able to get this stuff done. Now, initially you may be doing it all. Cause like I said, I'm do, I'm do a lot, you know, and people say, KJ, you work too much, you know, and things like that. But see, I don't see it as work because it's my passion. It's something that I love to do, right? You see what I'm saying? And I'm okay with that.

You know, it's just that sometimes people try to make you feel bad. Oh, you're missing your son's birthday party? Oh, your family, you know, so it's them inflicting, you know, what they want to do onto you, right? And it makes you feel guilty about a decision that you've decided to advance your career. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. And that's the thing, you got to be okay with any decision that you make for your life. That's the deal. Ain't nobody else paying your bills. Ain't nobody else in your household. Ain't nobody running your household. Right. So as long as you and hubby and the kids, right, we done had a family meeting and we've come to an agreement and this is what we doing. This is what we doing. And that's it. and thank you for sharing all of that.

I think it's such amazing advice that we can all take and I really needed to hear that this week. So I feel like what's so important about what you're saying is in order to, let's say, endure through exhaustion or rather just have that endurance to do the things that you want to do, taking the self-care obviously at the same time while doing that. You have to be able to communicate, which is what you said. And I think that's where it gets really tough. I know for myself, direct communication, speaking your needs,

and beyond that, owning your desires, knowing what your desires are, that's a really tough thing. But actually we all inherently do know and we're just a little bit scared to own that and step into it. So thank you for sharing that. It's really inspiring. You're welcome. In fact, I heard somebody the other day talk about, they ask women all the time, what do you want to do? And 99% of them say, I don't know. What do you mean? You don't know. But it's not that they don't know. It's just that if I tell you what I really want, are you going to shoot down my idea? Will you not like it? Will I not get your agreement with it?

Will you see something wrong with it? Is that going to negatively impact you? Oh my God. So no. So we go through all of that in our mind, which is why we end up holding ourselves back from, and that's the reason why I coach women on owning your brilliance. Own your brilliance, right? So somebody else can say, oh, KJ, you're a great speaker. But if I don't own that I'm a great speaker, you see what I'm saying? When I deliver it, it's not, you know, I'm like, oh no, or I'm not going to accept. I mean, I was just recently, you know, invited to speak at, you know, be the commencement speaker for Texas Women's University, right, which is a large university here in the state of Texas. And what's funny is, and I'm going to be honest with you,

so we're talking about being authentic. When I got the invitation, I said, have I been pranked? That was my first response. Have I been pranked? Is somebody playing a trick on me? And I said, is this real? Like I was really going through all this to the point to where I know a professor at the university. I called them and I said, can you go check with this person and see if this is really real? Right? So when you think about that, you know, it's like, well, wait a minute, I'm not owning my brilliance. Why would somebody be pranking you on to come speak at a commencement? Right? But I was finding everything. I was looking at the email and I was like, oh, her first name, the E is capitalized, but on her last name, the B is smart. Like I was, I was going through a hole.

I was going through all of that. And I know we do that, right? Because we're not owning our brilliance, right? And, and then of course, right when she came back, she was like, girl, yes, it's real. And I was like, ah, you know, then I got really excited. But that was all about me needing validation. And I shouldn't have needed validation. You know what I'm saying? Cause I speak all the time. People say, okay, Jay is powerful, you know, all of that. And I should be okay with that. So even, right. Cause I, I always like to

share this, right. When I, when I'm talking to others and coaching and giving advice. Don't ever think that I'm exempt from any question that's being asked. Because I know sometimes I was on a panel a couple of weeks ago. And somebody was asking about, what did they ask about? They asked about, oh, failures. Don't you just love it? Failures. Right. How do you handle failures? Right. So one person on the panel said we were all women. She said, well, you know, I see failures as learning opportunities. Right. I see them as lessons. Right. And so somebody else jumped on that bandwagon, said the same thing.

Right. And somebody else said it was five of us. Right. So like three people said the same thing. So I turned to the moderator and I said, can I add to that? And so they said, yeah, KJ, of course. And so I just turned to the audience and I said, I know y'all think this is all BS. I said, everybody up here is sitting up talking about, ooh, they see it as a learning opportunity. I said, girl, let me be real, real with y'all. I said, is that all right? And they was like, yeah, KJ. I said, look, we see it as failure too. I said, it's just that after, right, it's happened and we go think about it, right? Oh, how can we improve? Then we say it's a learning lesson.

I said, but honey, ain't nobody thinking it's no learning lesson initially. It's a failure, right? And so you have to be authentic with people and be real because folks are really trying to seek help and they need assistance. But if you always, if everybody that's on these shows or whatever, oh, I see it as a learning lesson. Oh, girl, you need to do it. So then when it happens to the people, they think that something is wrong with them. You know what I'm saying? Girl, no, we see it as failure too and I tell people I just gonna give myself you know 10 minutes to be mad about it right and then I come back and that's

okay give yourself a time out I'm a fuss about this we gonna cuss somebody out you know cuss in your in your room don't cuss nobody out right do whatever it is you need to do and then come back and reanalyze right yeah it's so true it's so true and just to add to that you know i i recently i was chatting offline with simon harry who we had on the podcast a few weeks ago and i tend to do that thing of like it it's pretty shit, but I'm going to paint it in rainbows and clouds and make it feel good for me right now. And he just looked at me and he was like, Nicole, it's a plate of shit. It is shit.

Just see it for what it is. If you're going to turn into fertilizer later, that's fine. But just for the moment, see it for what it is, you know. And I think a lot of people forget to do that. And it does become something beautiful. The fertilizer will grow. The blossoms will sprout up from that, you know and I think a lot of people forget to do that and it does become something beautiful the fertilizer will grow the blossoms will sprout up from that you know but for that moment it's pretty shit and and just adding to that and maybe a question to you is being exhausted is not great um you know when have you felt that you've obviously, to get to where you are, to have all

these insights, you've had difficult times. So I'm sure. And so how have you kind of endured through that exhaustion or what does exhaustion look like for you? Yeah. You know what? Great question. I really just went through exhaustion during first quarter. So here at Dress for Success Dallas, you know, we were internally dealing with some things, right? I didn't have a full staff, you know, I didn't have enough volunteers and still needed to put on, right, our annual Your Hour, Her Power, right? Which is an event during the month of March, right, during Women's History Month, and where we're going to honor women leaders, right? It was a huge event, right? And my role at NABO, right, still having to put on monthly events. And sometimes I think people don't realize the amount of work that goes into putting on an event. It's not like you just pull it out the

hat and boom, it's done, right? It's a lot of no's, you know, no, we can't do this day. No, I'm not available that day. You know, it's all of that, right? And so, you know, still needing to pull off the YoAwa Her Power. And like I said, this was going to be front and center. So I was putting in mad hours, like seriously, like even on Saturdays, even on Sundays. I mean, I was up here at the office, you know? And then during the month of March, oh my goodness, because it's Women's History Month, everybody wants to do a clothing drive. Like, ooh, can we do a clothing drive for you? You know what I'm saying? Like, everybody comes out the woodworks. And so it was just a lot. And I was just like, girl. So anyway, so you're talking about just truly being tired, because remember, I said, no staff, you know, not a lot of volunteers, right? And

one of the things, and I tell my volunteers this today, it's two of them here in the office today, that if I don't have a volunteer, right? Because here's the deal, the work still has to go on. We are positively impacting women's lives, right? I can't call a woman and say, oh, I don't have any volunteers today, so we can't service you. I can't do that. I still have to service.

So while I should be strategy, fundraising, right? All of those things, a lot of times I got to work with the clients, right? I got to go into the career center and help them with their resume. I got to go get them dressed right for their interviews. Right. So the work doesn't stop. So that's happening. Right. We're putting on this big event that was held at the JW Marriott downtown. It's a new hotel. We were honoring 20 women. So I was truly, truly, truly, truly exhausted. But what I did, right, because I knew it had to happen, right? So one of the things that I

try to do is when I know something is coming up, right, three months in advance, six months in advance, I mentally start preparing myself that you're going to need to put in more hours than normal, right? In order for this to be executed beautifully, right? Which is what I did. But I also said the day after, I'm not talking to nobody. I'm not having no meat. You know what I'm saying? So I'm finna put in this three months of work, six months of work, right? But the day out and now people's like, KJ, that's not even a long time. But I was good with that. But I did take two days. But I said, okay, so what happened? When I got up here Saturday, it was so many clothes outside our door, outside our door. Right. But for me, I was able to just take a day, right. And just rest. And for me, recovered and I was fine because I knew that, and this is what I try to do, right. I try

to think about, not that somebody else can't do the work, right? But I think about the impact that we're providing to the women. And if we don't show up, right, then that negatively impacts a woman, right? And we don't know what the woman is going through, what they're dealing with, their home situation, any of that. And if they're looking to us for hope and we're not there, right? So I always think about that. So for me, having just that day, right, to stay at the hotel, to take a shower and just be in that comfy bed. I turned my laptop off. I didn't take phone calls. That was enough for me to regenerate myself. Right. And get back at it, because at the end of the day, right, we're impacting these women. And so if we don't show up, I always say this, if we don't show up,

they can't show out. And when you lose hope, man, you lose everything. You got to have hope. So for me, we're the hope for these women. And so I don't have time to be in self-care mode for a week. You know what I'm saying? So for me, and I think if we could all find our passion, our purpose in life, that'll drive you to do the work that you do. And you won't feel like, oh, I got to take a break. Oh, I got to do all of these things. You know what I'm saying? So if you can truly find your purpose, right, because purpose don't feel like work, right? Purpose is really knowing that if you don't do what, right, you're supposed to be doing, your brilliance, that somebody else is missing out. And I always tell people, I don't know if anybody is spiritual or whatever, but I'm going to say

this. One of the things that I help. The children of Israel had a trip. Right. And their trip really was only 30 miles. It was like from Dallas to Fort Worth, which is a really short trip. But it took them 40 years. Oh, I need people to understand that 40 years to do a 30 minute drive today. Right. And why is that? Cause I always tell people that when you're not doing what you're supposed to do, you're causing people to be wandering in the wilderness because that's what they was doing. They was wandering in the wilderness, right? They were being distracted by every little thing. And when you don't show up, right? Moses not showing up to guide them because

he came up against some hiccups too, right? Then you can't really take the people to where they need to go. So we have to understand that when you're not showing up, you're causing someone to wander in the wilderness, right? And people always say, KJ, well, that's, I mean, like, how can you say that, right? And I explain it very simply. Your parents could have told you something all your life, right? But one day you went to school or you became an adult and somebody else said it, your teacher said it. And for whatever reason, it hit you in a totally different way, right? And then you got it, right? And it's the same thing. So I tell people that, yeah, what I say, somebody else is probably saying it too.

But the person that probably needs to hear it needs to hear your voice say it, right? It's you that's supposed to get them there. And if you continue to hide, if you continue to shrink, if you continue not to show your talents, that person that is listening for your voice, they don't know that they're listening for your voice, but they'll know that they're listening for your voice, but they'll know it if you say it. You understand what I'm saying? So we have to understand that this is not just for you. This is not for me. This is for the other people. Everything you do is for someone else, right? And so you can't say, oh, I'm tired. I'm out. I'm beat down. Oh, let me go sit in a hole and hibernate like the bears do forever because somebody is depending on you and they'll never hear your voice if you're hibernating.

So that's my message. I think you make a lot of really good points there. One around passion, which is, you know, I think enduring through exhaustion, the passion does help you get through a lot of those sprints. And then another point is resting. I know this is something I struggled with a lot, which is resting is actually doing something. is resting is actually doing something. I used to, you know, yell at my holistic professional, like practitioners, because they would be like, Oh, what did you do that this and I'm like, I have so much stuff to do. Did you do you think that I have like time to do this stuff? And they really had to just kind of like reframe it, where it's, it's like resting is doing something that is an active thing that you chose to do to actually help you just as much as a supplement, just as much as, you know, going out for a day of fun. Sure. And just even whatever you choose to do as self-care, you shouldn't look at it as almost like a distraction.

Just because you're doing something fun doesn't mean that it's distracting you. You're actually helping yourself, almost like filling your cup up. Same idea. And one quick story for people that are listening, KJ definitely lives her authentic self. And I completely resonate with what you're saying is if you don't show up as your authentic self, you miss opportunities. And the way we met is actually a good example of that because we met in December right before we had launched the podcast. We had just launched maybe one or two sessions. And Nicole and I had this idea for a while. And it was because I had events coming up.

I was like, let's push it out. I mean, we were trying to push it out. And then I was like, I think we should push it out. Let's push it out before. And let's see, you know, as we're talking to people, who would be good candidates. And if this message actually resonates past the two of us, which is really, you know, was a big question at that point. We really thought, yes. But as you know, in sales, like, you know, the market tells you what they like, right?

And so I know I sat next to you at this event, didn't know anyone. And we came in late and I was like, okay, I'm just going to talk really briefly just to kind of see what people say. And these are the things I do. I do consulting. I do this, I do this.

I do that. And I have this podcast about being your authentic self. And everybody at that event and other events always hold on to Friday feels. They always come up and they talk to me about it. They ask me about it. And I said something to you like it was a comment that I made about being your authentic self. And some of the women around the table said, I don't think KJ has a problem being her authentic self and I was like oh okay

like I didn't because I didn't know anybody so but they know you and the funny thing was we took a picture I don't know if you remember this in the now bow um frame like uh picture frame and it was a few of us trying to get into it and i ducked down so that the person behind me could you could see them and you were like stand up stand up what and you were like stand up you're like do not cower for anybody else. And I was just like, whoa, what is going on here? Who is this lady who is reprimanding me at this age to stand up? And you were like, and then you started saying like, no, you need to stand up and speak up and take up your space. Let her move. Let her come in the front.

And I was like, okay. And throughout, I mean, it was a short time. It was such a short time that quickly, but I feel like being our authentic selves, like we really just connected and I was able to say, hey, this is what I'm doing. Hey, I really actually think you would be a great candidate to come on this podcast. How did you get to speak like this or be so expressive?

Because you didn't know me from anybody else. And really, and I think it's a good example for people. And it was a good example for myself too, that you should always speak up and say what you really feel and what you really, and the people, I mean, we talk about this a lot on the podcast is the people that are your tribe will find you in any situation, you you also have to make yourself available and show up as your true self because if I didn't you know at that point we didn't really I didn't have to mention the podcast because I didn't know like how it would fit in in this group I could have mentioned only the consulting work because that's really what I

was thinking would be more applicable and if I I hadn't done that, you never probably would have been like, if I had asked you, let's say six months down the line, you'd have been like, okay, I don't know this girl from a hole in the wall, maybe. And so I think it's really important for people, the topics that we talk about are very interconnected, right? We talk a lot about, you know, finding your passion about and enduring through exhaustion, and how to navigate these paths from people who have done it before. And I really like the other thing that you said, which is the fact that, you know, you're led by your passion, and you're led by your purpose. And so for you, this is not, you know, a lot of the jobs or the roles that you hold are all kind of connected. And for you, it doesn't actually feel like work.

Right. And I think that's really important for people to understand and that you are going through the same thing as everyone, like the person that looks burnt out versus the person that doesn't look burnt out doesn't mean that they're not. And I think that's, you know, really, really important to remember. And a lot of peeling back the covers on this podcast is to show that, right, is to show that, you know, even Nicole, like you mentioned, you're always putting a really good spin on things. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't affect you the same way. I know a lot of people, not a lot of people, but some people would listen to podcasts and give us feedback. And they're like,

she's so chipper. She's like, like, so happy. And I'm like, yeah, but she's also human, you know, just because she's, you know, putting on a great face for it doesn't mean it doesn't affect her in the same way. So I think it's really important to remember that. And, and thank you for sharing that, like on a public platform, because not everybody, like you said, will do that. Yeah, no, I think it's, you know, it's important. I think what we get hung up in is we see people that we admire and then we say, oh, I want to be like that person. And then when you say that, you're basically slapping yourself in the face because you're saying you're not good as the person you are today. Right. And that's why

part of my coaching is really helping women to own and embrace their own brilliance. Right. And it's not until you do right then that you that your tribe is going to show up. Right. That's another thing. Your tribe can't show up because you're not showing yourself, right? And the very thing that you are is what they need. But if you're trying to push that over to the side and be somebody else, then you'll never find your tribe and you'll never be happy, right? So that's really the key is you owning who you are. I remember I used to teach sales and I have this laugh because I'm a very loud person. I always tell people I use my outdoor voice all the time. I don't have an indoor voice. It's outdoors. But right. So I used to have this laugh and I just thought that it was just so unladylike. Right. And I told a couple of my students, I was just like, oh, my God, I got to stop laughing like that. And so a couple of them said, why? And they said, girl, we love your laugh.

We wish we could bottle it up and take it with us. Right. And I was just like, what? Oh, my God, it's so annoying. Right. Cause I'm thinking that it's not ladylike. And for the life of me, y'all, I was trying to get rid of that laugh for real. I couldn't get rid of it. The more I was trying to get rid of it, the more people said they loved it. And I was just like, you know what? Okay. It is what it is. So it's that, what I just did there. So it's, you know, people love it. So, and that's me being me, but I was wanting to change it because at the time I was in corporate America, right? I wanted to try to break the glass ceiling and I just kind of felt like, oh, well, you know, to be a director, you can't be doing loud outbursts

like that. You know what I'm saying? That was my whole thing, but the students loved it. Right. And I've, I've never gotten a complaint about, girl, that's, that's too loud or what, you know, I've never gotten that. So again, leaning into who you are, right. Just owning all of that goodness about you because somebody likes that. Somebody is encouraged by it. Somebody is inspired by it, right? And so when you can truly be, right, who you were created to be, that is a good thing, right? And I mean, you know, and good thing. Right. And that, I mean, you know, and here's the deal, you'll be so much free. I mean, like you feel so much lighter, you know, and not trying to please this person and please, like all of that goes out the window when you're truly your authentic self. So it's so important to own it. Yeah. I think that's such an amazing gem of this week. So thank you so much for sharing

that. What I've really experienced in working and traveling around the world is that us South Africans don't always realize that we have a good accent. You know, we always try to change it. It's like, oh, you should sound American or whatever it is. Like people would say to me, like, go to America and like learn the accent you know it'd be so good for you and how you speak and and then as I traveled I realized people were like oh I love your accent and I was like oh okay I'm keeping this one so um it's amazing what I think also travel helps to do is that the things that you might not feel are part of who you are or be proud to be in your local context become something that you are very proud of in an international context or

as you travel you realize hey actually I like this and I'll take that for me because that resonates I integrate that into myself and you know one of the things I realized um about two years ago I had a little trip in Europe and I'm generally now I am also but I never used to really say what I wanted like if we were somewhere I wouldn't say like you know oh I want this chocolate I'll just be like oh whichever it's fine and whatever it is so and I've always had people tell me like say what you want and we were in Rome and we were we had this most beautiful evening and there was this restaurant with fairy lights and they only had a table inside and I don't know what happened but I just said I want to sit outside tonight this is where I want to sit outside. Tonight, this is where I want to sit outside.

And I was kind of speaking my truth and saying what I want. And I bet you it was the Italian air because something in Italy is very, very expressive. And that just supports you in doing the same. So just to encourage people to travel, go experience yourself in different ways. Because had I not known what that felt like in that moment, I wouldn't have known how I was acting before that and not speaking my truth. So I think it's beautiful to find your tribe around the world and really be yourself in all contexts and learn about yourself. Exactly. Exactly. I love that. That's good stuff, Nicole. Love it. So what's the best professional advice that you've gotten, KJ?

I would say, you know, that you don't have to always have all the answers immediately. You know, it's OK to say, you know what, that's a great question. Let me do a little bit of research on that or let me kind of think through that, you know. So because I think for us, you know, we always believe that we should have the answer. And then if we don't, oh, my God, you know, it's the worst thing that has ever happened to us that you don't know. So, you know, again, giving yourself grace that you don't have to know everything and, you know, and it's okay to say, you know what, I've never experienced that. So I can't answer and be okay with that. Yeah. So tell us about where you see yourself in one year.

Do you see yourself continuing the work that you're doing and taking on more initiatives and projects and speaking engagements around this topic? Because you're so fired up about it. Do you see yourself scaling back? No. You know what? I'll probably be doing even more. And I'll be 50 pounds lighter. doing even more and I'll be 50 pounds lighter.

50 pounds lighter now, but I'll, I'll still be going strong in what I'm doing today. I absolutely love it. We're very happy to hear that because we need more of the KJs in the world doing their thing. So thank you for what you do. And I guess it's a nice little pivot into these gems of the week that we always do um I know you've been giving us a lot of gems already but we do take a moment to say like you know how do we fill our cup what has filled our cup this week what is helping us to be good sure looking professionals in the world'd be ourselves. Saj, do you want to kick us off? Yeah. This week, I have been enduring through exhaustion,

which I'm sure I've been saying for a few weeks now. But this week, it really hit me. And I just decided to take naps where I have to take naps. And then when I get up, I work at weird hours um because that's the best way that I know how to do it right now but but I was uh asked by a non-profit that we had on um in India for the my three foundation to write an article on relationships or self-growth and or professional development etc and so I was thinking about it and it was the last thing on my to-do list I was really excited about doing it but it's just it kept going to the wayside and finally the deadline was coming up and so I sat there and I thought

about it and I was like I don't know what to write on I don't like I'm looking through like the old podcast episodes and thinking about like okay there's just so many different ways you can do this and there was not much direction right and so I think I ended up writing on the paradox of having boundaries and setting boundaries and why being selfish is good. And I wrote the whole thing actually without AI, which I was super proud of myself with, without looking at anybody else's articles. And it was a big thing for me, not in sort of like there was no validation.

It really came from me. And it made me super proud when I read it over because I thought, wow, I've actually come a really long way from where I was like 10 years ago, or two years ago, and my outlook has changed so much. And then I thought to myself, actually, the foundation that I was writing for the father, he's one of the people that I used to talk to a lot about these sort of concepts. And it's just come full circle for me writing this article, but also being able to kind of share on Friday feels and it just made me really proud. It was it I was exhausted. But like you said, the things that kind of fill your cup are the things that kind of bring you back to life. And I got excited all over again about it. And it was a real light bulb moment for me, because I felt also like you said, like calm and at ease and all the things

that I'm like oh I gotta do this I gotta do that like I was just like oh wow like this feels like progress to me just reading this the fact that I can spit it out and the fact that I my thoughts around this are actually so much more grounded than they were before about, you know, owning your truth. And regardless of what people say, your family, your friends, society, etc. Like knowing you're on the right path, trusting yourself, trusting your decisions, things like that. I was like, wow, I really, there's a lot of things that have happened like within the last year that my response to it has changed. And for me, that feels like growth. So that was my gem of the week.

What about you, Nicole? For me, this week has been really one about, I guess, standing, you know, KJ, you were mentioning standing in your truth. And sometimes that means embracing your shadow self and the things that you don't always want to show people. And so this week I've really had to push myself to kind of show that, I guess, authoritative side. You know, looking after five dogs, it's not always pretty when you're reprimanding them. And so I'm so happy doing that when I'm by myself. But I noticed, in true honesty, that I don't like being that person in front of other people.

And that really was something to kind of get over and realize, like, you know, I don't always have to look pretty or beautiful or sound nice. And sometimes you just have to let it out so that they can keep quiet. have to let it out so that they can keep quiet. Very talkative doggies. So that was mine. It's really been a nice kind of breakthrough, as simple as it sounds. How about you, Kejo? For me, you know what?

Because, you know, it changes, of course, every week. You know, so for me, you know, it's, of course, every week, you know. So for me, you know, it's like I said, I love what I do. It's truly my passion and purpose. What I try to do, I guess, when I'm unwinding or getting ready for the week, usually on Sundays, I take long drives and just kind of think through what I've accomplished from the past week, which then just rules me for the next week. So, you know, I use that a lot of times just as my downtime to come out of one week and go into the next. So again, like Nicole said, as simple as it is, you know, and sometimes why I think that, cause this is another thing too, you know, we think all the things that we do strategy, like, like it should be earth shattering, like, oh my God, it should be something,

you know, really? And it's like, nah, I don't, you know, and it's like no I don't you know and it's okay did I answer the question girl I don't even know if I answered the question but anyway yeah that's great thank you for sharing thank you and I love that a good drive is like mobile therapy right that's amazing Yeah, and I think that's a really nice segue into, you know, our audience out there, everyone listening, when you think of this topic, when have you felt like you've had to endure, you know, maybe through exhaustion or whatever it is that you're going through, and what got you to that point?

How did you change after that, and how have you adjusted for your learnings during that time of your life yeah and kj maybe you can share with our audience where they can find you thank you so much for coming on the podcast and sharing you know a day in the life of and and sharing all your great stories and your and your speech speech. Good luck on your commencement speech. That's an awesome honor that is truly deserved. And I'm so glad to have met you and have to introduce you to, you know, my little side of the world.

And I'm sure we'll go on to do really cool things, you know, just for success was actually like quick side note. It was something that I participated in when I was in like a sophomore in school where, you know, you guys provide clothes for women who are going on interviews, et cetera. And I just thought the mission was awesome. And so it's a real honor to meet someone who has a hand in that. honored to meet someone who has a hand in that. And thank you so much again for coming on and feel free to share all the cool things that you're working on and where people could find you and what you're looking for. We're always happy to empower our speakers. Yeah, no, I appreciate that. So guys, you can follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, IG, right? Karen KJ Johnson. I do believe on Instagram, it's the Karen KJ Johnson. So you can definitely do

that. You know, and then I encourage you guys follow Dress for Success Dallas. So you do want to make sure that you put Dallas in as right. So on LinkedIn and Facebook, we're Dress for Success Dallas. On IG, we're Dress for Success Dallas Fort Worth. So make sure, right, you follow us. We're always doing something new. Again, we're all about empowering women, right? Building that confidence. And then, like I said, you can follow me and all the things that I'm doing, right? Under Karen KJ Johnson and any business owners, follow us at Nabo, D-F-W, right? So N-A-W-B-O space D-F-W, right? So Nabo, D-F-W. So we're all about empowering women-owned businesses, right, to continue their dreams, to grow and scale their business. Yeah. So that's that. I do try to, you know, post something motivational, inspirational every day. So definitely feel free to follow me, comment. And I definitely will comment back.

So, again, ladies, thank you so much for having me. It's truly been a pleasure. This has been fun. Thank you so much for having me. We'd love to hear from you. Remember to tag us using hashtag these Friday feels to share your stories and listen to us on all your favorite platforms. And to work with us or have us broadcast Friday Feels from your space and organize your next workation, reach out to us at hello at friday-feels.co. Next week, we have a beautiful and talented, not to mention highly creative individual joining us to unpack this topic a bit further. Stay tuned for the lovely Debbie Ann Seamungle, who is an actress,

script writer, and film producer, and has been through a tough journey of motherhood in between it all. We're excited for her to come on and shed some light on some of the not so often spoke about complexities within the Indo-Caribbean culture, within motherhood, within breaking generational traumas, etc. We're going to be talking about all of those things. But until next time, that is our mix. We've had fun mingling with you and we wish you safe travels into your bed, into the night and into this awesome weekend. See you next week and keep it real.