Your Happy Hour - Episode 19: Navigating Motherhood and Pursuing Passions

Episode Date: April 12, 2024

Happy Friday everyone! Tune in to episode 19 and let’s chat about: Navigating Motherhood and Pursuing Passions.In this episode we are joined by trailblazer Debbie Ann Seemungal, an actress, dancer, writer, filmmaker, entrepreneur, wife and mom of twins who left her corporate job to follow her passions. She is spearheading See Beyond Studios, a film and theater production company, committed to empowering underrepresented cultures in entertainment.We unpack topics like: the unspoken moments of motherhood, finding your right tribe, celebrating culture, you’re not an “other”, the village raising your children, daring to pursue your desires and speaking your truth.We’ll be here - every Friday - celebrating with you!Connect with us @ friday-feels.co▶ Podcast Chapters01:23 Welcome to DebbieAnn Seemungal!02:00 Moments of Motherhood: The unspoken truths04:00 Daring to pursue your desires08:20 Writing the role of your life09:14 See Beyond Studios and a new TV series: It Takes Ah Village16:15 Find Your Tribe: Being Indo-Caribbean21:00 Celebrating Your Culture: it gives us life!25:40 Create to Heal: Follow the nudges of your heart28:57 Trailblazing: Show your story34:10 Amplifying the hidden voice36:40 A short story: You’re not an ‘Other’40:01 Best Professional Advice: 80/20 for the win!44:23 Gems of the Week57:24 Next week and farewell

Happy Friday beautiful people and hello to you all out there tuning in for your first sip of the weekend. You're tuned into your happy hour with Friday Feels. We're celebrating all you working professionals out there doing your crazy craft, embracing the beauty of being human and connecting authentically. We are host Saj and Nicole and we're living and working around the world. We're holding space for you and keeping it raw and real as we share fresh content with you every week. Follow us on LinkedIn at Friday Feels and on Instagram at These Friday Feels for updates throughout the week. In our last episode, we chatted to Karen KJ Johnson, who is a corporate executive, community leader, motivational speaker,

executive community leader motivational speaker and entrepreneur in her larger than life way karen shared her tips on how following her passion and showing up authentically has allowed her to take on more in her day-to-day and even endure through exhaustion if you're feeling down and out this week i highly recommend you checking it out. And for this week's episode, we are chatting with trailblazer Debbie Ann Seemungle, an actress, dancer, writer, filmmaker, entrepreneur, wife, and mom of twins. Debbie has left her corporate job to follow her passions and is currently spearheading Seabeyond Studios, a film and theater production company committed to empowering underrepresented cultures in entertainment. We are so excited to have her come on and share her journey with us. A very big welcome to you, Debbie. It is so wonderful to have you.

Thank you so much for having me on. Yes, welcome. We're super excited to chat with you this month on our month's topic, Enduring Through Exhaustion. We have all been there and really curious, you know, what the topic means to you. Tell us a little bit about your journey and where you're based and what you do and what enduring through exhaustion has meant to you over the years? Yeah. Gosh, the word exhausted is just, it's such an emotional word, you know, when we talked about what this topic was going to be this month, I think for me, exhaustion is just my natural like MO these days. It it's just you're just tired all the time being a mom of twins just being a mom i would say even if you know someone has a one baby two three four like it's just tiring and i think on top of that the emotional aspect comes from not just balancing your kids but i'm also a wife so being being that as well, because that's a completely different role. And then on top of that, trying to think of myself. So still trying to be healthy,

hit the gym when I can, making sure that I'm thinking about myself and my career, because you can really get lost in the moment of being a mom. And I think I did for a minute until I caught myself and I was like, okay, wait, I need to think about myself at some point. So all of that put together, it's just a really emotional ride because you just are so tired. And when eight o'clock hits, my husband is so funny. He's like, you fall asleep before your head even hits the pillow. When eight o'clock hits and those kids go to bed, it's like, I am shut down. I refuse to do any work after that. I may lay in my bed and scroll through Instagram

just to catch up on the day, but that's it. And I will just maybe meditate and go straight to sleep. I'm in bed by 9.30, cause I'm up at 5.30 to try to hit the gym some morning. So all of it is just really tiring. But I think what gets me through it is the fact that I do love every aspect of it. My kids are really enjoyable.

Being married to my husband is great. And then I'm following my passion, which is even more amazing, right? Because it's hard for people to do all of it. And I am. As tiring as it is, it gives me energy to know that I'm following a dream that has always been my dream, which a lot of people have told me, when you become a mom, those dreams go away, right? Those aspirations go away.

You need to put them behind you. You have to focus on being a mom. But I refuse to fall into that category. And I refuse to show my children that that's a thing, right? That no, when you become a parent, when any parts of your life changes, you can still follow your dreams. You just make it all work. So they have been a huge inspiration for me to prove the societal, I don't even know,

rules or whatever it is that society tends to put on us as moms, as women, and how we're supposed to be and do. And I refuse to live by that. So as exhausted as I am, I'm going to prove it wrong. That's my goal. So we've known each other for a really long time. And it's really awesome to see, you know, how you've blossomed throughout the years. And tell us a little bit about what you're working on, on your professional journey. What brought you here? I know you used to work in corporate for a while, and you mentioned following your passion now. So what does that mean for you? Well, I am. So yeah, my, I've had a sort of a roller coaster of a life. I've always been a

performer ever since I was, my dad tells me when I was two years old, I started dancing with my grandfather and like, I just, I've always, if there's a show I'm there, right. I'm performing, I'm dancing, I'm singing, I'm acting, I'm doing all kinds of things. I'm always on stage. And that's really been where my passion has always has always been you know unfortunately we we you know Saj we grew up in a culture that doesn't foster that right they they tend to ask you to be more on the side of you know the professional side business or medicine or etc etc so it's not something that's really celebrated so when I I got into my, in college, I studied theater, and then I started a production company 20 years ago with my best friend Frankie.

And we were in it like he's a he was a filmmaker, I was an actress, and we just wanted to bring film and theater to the West Indian community. Because it wasn't something that was there, we did a lot of singing and dancing. But the film part of it came from Bollywood. And that's where we would see, you know, we would kind of see Indians on TV, not necessarily Indo-Caribbeans, but just Indians. And so we created this platform where we can find Indo-Caribbean individuals who wanted to be a part of entertainment. And we did that for 10 years. And it was amazing. And unfortunately, Frankie passed away 10 years ago. And when he did, I sort of took a step back, I wasn't sure if I could do it alone without him. And so I went back to school, I got a master's degree in communications and PR. And I've been

in healthcare also for a long time, because you can't really support yourself on an acting career a lot of times. So I was also in healthcare. So that was like my full time job. And then I started doing healthcare marketing. And you know, it was like, okay, it's paying the bills, you know, money's great, but I don't know. There was always something missing. And my husband always has this question. If you won the lottery, what would you do? If you never had to worry about money again, what would you do? And I never really had an answer, but the answer was always in the back of my mind. I was just always afraid to say it. I didn't know if I wanted to go back there because once I got back, I, cause I knew, I know myself, like once I put my mind to something, it's really hard to change it.

So one, so I'd never wanted to go back to acting. Cause I was like, I can't, I'm a mom, I'm a wife. Like there's no way. And then I, you know what? I think, uh, I just, after my kids, I, I was like, I have to, I have to prove society wrong. Like I can do this. And, uh, I spoke to my husband about it and he was so excited. He's like, yeah, you're going to do it. Like, you know, you're good. You're really good at it. And, uh, so I was like, fine, that's it. I'm doing it. And, um, so anyway, I got back into acting. So

I started auditioning again, getting a few roles here and there, but I always knew it was bigger than that, right? Because I would audition. So now everything's on online. So you're self-taping auditions and these roles are just really bizarre. It's like horror movies. I'm like in my bedroom screaming, hiding from something I'm not seeing. It's just really bizarre. And I'm like, God, these roles are just not for me. They're just, they don't bring out my talent. They don't really express who I am as a person, as a mom, as an individual, as a woman, as an Indo-Caribbean. And I'm like, this is much bigger than me. And then I started writing and I started writing my own story of my own postpartum journey and parenthood and the craziness of that. I'm like, this is a really good,

this can be a really good TV show. So I called one of my best friends who is also a writer and her and I just dove in and we're like, yeah, let's do this. And we started writing and we wrote our first TV series where just, we wrote the pilot of it and it's called It Takes a Village. And we're both, yeah, she's directing. So I met her through Flat Tire Productions 20 years ago. And she's going to direct it and I'm producing it under my own brand. I decided to kind of walk away from Flat Tire and start my own. I know Frankie would have loved me to sort of carry on his legacy. But if I know him well enough, he wants me to make my own legacy.

So I want to do that. And so I started C Beyond Studios just this year. And we are starting our production in June. June 1st is the first day of shooting. We're so excited. We're casting right now. I think we've gotten about 85% of the cast, got some really great talent. We're still looking for kind of the two main, two of the main lead roles, which are Indo-Caribbean actors, but that seems to be a bit difficult to find. I have no doubt that we will find it. So yeah, so that's it. So I'm an official filmmaker and actress again. And you can see from my smile, like I can't stop smiling. It's just waking up in the morning, just it makes me so

excited to do what I'm doing and to follow this again. Absolutely love your story and your journey. And it's just, I mean, I'm obviously a creative myself, so I resonate with that. But just listening to you makes me emotional because I know it's hard and especially from what you've been through you know you mentioned um very briefly in between there a lot of the the difficulties and the challenges which I know probably brought you to through enduring through exhaustion in a lot of ways and are those things kind of tied into your story that you've written yeah absolutely I mean parenthood in general is like we talked about it right? It's just exhausting. But, you know, it takes a village. When you go through something like becoming a parent, you lean on your village a lot to help, right? So your grandparents, your grandparents, your parents, your friends who do come and support you. friends who do come and support you. But I think, you know, there's that saying,

it takes a village to raise a child, but I think it takes the right village to raise a child, right? So, cause you have all of these different perspectives coming in that, you know, your grandparents or your parents have a very ancient way of thinking. If you want to, if you want to say that, um, raising kids the way we raise or we want to raise kids today is not the way they did, right? So like, I don't punish my kids ever. They don't ever get in trouble. You know, if they're throwing a tantrum, we go to another room, we sit down with them, we figure it out, we calm them down, we figure out what's happening. And then when it's safe to come back to play with brother, because he's hitting brother, we'll bring him back, right? But we don't punish our kids. I don't believe in it. As kids, we were punished. And it was like, you're sort of putting

a kid in a room all by themselves to sort of get over this thing that they don't know what's really happening to them because they're babies. They're little, they're learning. And so, you know, you, you start analyzing what that village is like, which, which is exhausting, right? Because it's easy to just say, mom, come just help. And not to say it's my mom's amazing, but you know, let's just say it's mom, mom, come help. But then mom's not really doing it the way I want it done. So then, uh, I'm not going to call mom next time. Right. But, or, or, or cousin or whomever. Right. So you end up doing all of the work yourself, which is exhausting. So throughout the series, you're going doing all of the work yourself, which is exhausting.

So throughout the series, you're going to see Alex and Reshma, who are the couple that we follow throughout this journey, they're going to become parents and they're going to sort of start seeing how their villages are interacting with their kids as well as them and analyzing that. Like, not sure if that's the right thing to be doing. And then Reshma, she's an Indo-Caribbean woman. Alex is a Caucasian man. But for Reshma, she doesn't know how to stand up to her mom. And she's going to have to find that voice, right? Because of her kids. It's just going to be an interesting dichotomy to see that, see them exhausted, but still trying to be the best that they could be through the exhaustion is going to be interesting and then watching your villagers learn so it's not you know one of the things I say with it takes a village it's not about like analyzing people and saying you're bad

get out of my life no it's here's a better way or different way of doing things like maybe teaching mom instead of yelling can we try this instead of taking out the belt, such, such, we know what that means, you know, get a kind of like, let's try something else. You know, and for us, for me, as a mom, that's kind of the way it's been. It's educating the older generations to help them learn, but even educating us because a lot of the advice or the, the way we know how to do things are based on what was sort of brought down to us and taught so one great example I like to use is like you come over to visit mom she just comes home from the hospital she just got her from the hospital and you walk

in you wash your hands and you grab the baby right you want to hold the baby that's beautiful right but I think you should walk into the house wash wash your hands and be like, hey, mom, you got some dishes to do, got some laundry to fold. Like, to me, that's more of a help. Like, let mom have her moment with her baby, because she probably hasn't had a moment with the baby all day. Or just simply ask, like, what do you need from me? Truly, what do you need from me right now? And I think that's ways our village can show up for us in a way better way. Aside from Reshma and Alex, there's another character, Vishal, which is Reshma's brother. He's going through some depression based on some generational trauma. And he too starts looking at his village.

And through therapy, his therapist helps him think about, okay, who are you surrounding yourself with? And because there's a saying, you know, tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you what your future looks like kind of thing. So, you know, he has to analyze, so he's not a parent, but he's an, even as an individual, he has to analyze who he's surrounding himself with, because in order for him to heal, he has to make sure he's, he's got the right people around him. So it takes a village as a very, is to make sure he's got the right people around him. So it takes a village as a very, it's a broad topic and it talks about a lot of different things

that we all sort of go through in life and that we really have to think about who we have around us. And again, it's not about letting people go and saying, I mean, at some point I think, yes, if people are toxic, you have to let them go. But it's also about retraining and helping our society understand how they can support parents as well as other people just going through mental illness sorry that was a lot

it's incredible it's incredible and i think you know it resonates so much with with us because what we're building with friday feels and your hour is, and we talk about this a lot, is finding your tribe. You know, what is this community as a working professional, as a human? Who do you resonate with? And, you know, it's exactly like you're saying, whatever energy you're in is what you're resonating with out in the world, you know, is what you're attracting to yourself in the world. I really firmly believe that. with out in the world, you know, is what you're attracting to yourself in the world. I really firmly believe that. So yeah, I think we just, we feel you and we feel your film coming and your TV series and we're super excited to watch it. And I think it's beautiful that you spotlighting these

critical issues that do drain us and it's where you place your energy and how you manage that. So thank you for sharing. Yeah, you're welcome. Yeah, I think, I mean, what's most interesting to me, I mean, there's a lot of things there. There's just so much there. It's like, I don't even know where to start, but unpacking from that box. But yeah, I mean, I really like that you're showcasing the Indo-Caribbean culture. I think it's something that's not very mainstream as a fact. It's not. We're not very representative in many offices, rooms, screens, etc. And, you know, personally, that's something that I tried to do my part of. But life happens, one, and we try to be authentic

on here. And so I'm happy to always, you know, showcase other talent, whatever that might be, that is Indo Caribbean. And so really was super excited to have you on here. But I also think that even for me, like growing up, I grew up away from the West Indian culture. You know, we grew up really far out in Long Island, you know, because Debbie and I actually share a cousin. That's how we figured out that we were like extended cousins. And we're all related. Yeah. And it's just really funny, though. I was thinking about that is like, and it's just really funny though I was thinking about that is like when I met you for the first time obviously like uh Steph and Rich know each other and so I'd seen Rich a few times I knew Rich and then finally I met Debbie I heard Debbie but I didn't know and I just said like you look

really familiar but I couldn't like put my finger on it And that's such a weird thing even to think about now is like, we actually knew each other when I was much younger. And it's amazing that I even remembered, right? Like it's because I was so young, like life, it's been like 10 years. How do you just randomly meet somebody and then be like, you look familiar? Like, I could have been completely wrong. And then we eventually figured out she was like, I have cousins where you live. And I could have been completely wrong. And then we eventually figured out, she was like, I have cousins where you live. And I'm like, well, they're definitely related to me because we don't have any brown people over there. And that's how we remembered. Like I remembered. And then it came back. I was like, oh my goodness. And so I think that, you know,

growing up like that, even going to school, we both went to NYU. I went as an undergrad. I know you went as your master's. We're not very prevalent there either. In college, in that college, I would more associate with just Indian people because they were the closest to the culture and had to do a lot of explaining like why do you look Indian but you don't like which state are you from how do you not know which state you're from in India like I can one guy told me he was like I can track back like 13 generations based on my last name and I'm like well actually all my aunts and uncles have different versions of the same last name so there's no way that I could track back any sort of generation past like

two. But it is a really beautiful culture. And I would say that, you know, getting more back into it, and exploring that and through carnival through other things, and not just carnival, but like the food, the people, etc. It is really beautiful. And it's sad that it's not more mainstream, but I guess as we go out into the world, it's on us, right. To do those things. So we're super excited to kind of have you on here and talking about, I mean, all the things that you talk about are things that resonate in some way. I don't, I don't need to be a mom to have it resonate the topics that you're talking about are parenting your parents, sharing your point of view. All those things are things that we, and maybe in other cultures, it's the same. I don't know. But it is really reassuring to hear

people talk about it. And I talk, like I mentioned it to my parents a lot of times. I'm like, well, I'm standing up for my boundaries. You should be proud of that. Don't tell me like why, you know, why I should why I should go to this person's house. I should still be nice to them. Like they were obviously rude and they obviously like don't have my best interest at heart. And I mean, you know, we talked about this earlier on in the podcast where it's like, everybody comes to their own point of view. Maybe the things that they come with have protected them. And so they're just trying to share it. And but when you see people in that light,

you don't get as offended, but you also choose to kind of make your own decision. And I think that's what's beautiful about our generation is that we're finally questioning it. We're finally putting our foot down and saying no. And that's beautiful, right? Like, yeah, we grew up like it was almost like you just have to be quiet. Don't ruffle feathers. Stay in the background. Don't speak up to your elders.

Like you're just not allowed to have an opinion. And I struggle with that now a lot because I'm always afraid of conflict. I cry, you know, when people are trying to mean to me. And I have like a best friend who's the complete opposite. And I love her. And I'm like, I want to be like you. And she's like, I want to be like you. So we try to figure out how to be like each other, right?

A little bit. And it's like, I'm so done with it, you know? And then again, I think being a mom just kind of gave me some energy. Like, because I do not want anyone doing that to my kids. So it's kind of like you, you find your voice and, um, that's hard in our culture, man, to do. I literally just avoid people now. Like if you're coming in with some negative juju, like you're probably not going to hear from me. I'm not going to call you back. Um, I'm probably going to disappear, but yeah, I I'm, I'm not going to call you back. I'm probably going to disappear. But yeah, I'm so done with it. But I think what's beautiful about, you know, we talk a lot about like Indians being on TV.

You know, Nicole and I were talking about this before you came on. It was like we tend to look at Bollywood like that's where we see our culture on TV as Indo-Caribbeans. Right. It's Indian. It's not West Indian, though. Right. It's not it Indian though, right? It's not, it's not Trinidadian because it's Trinidad, being Trinidadian is so much more than that, right? But we at least see that. And I think that satisfies people with, it takes a village, even though the cast, the entire cast is not West Indian. It's just, you know, the, the,

the main family and even her husband is, is Caucasian. And I did that on purpose for many reasons. But I can go into that a little bit later, but like the, the main, only three of the characters are really West Indian. And there's two aunties that are really funny and, you know, they bring sort of the West Indian humor into the show, but like, I want to, I want to show that culture, you know, I want to show how vibrant it is, how fun it is. I want to talk about the food like everything you're saying saj just means so much to me because we're so proud to be trinnies like we're so proud from where like where we're from and our culture gives us life and we just want to share that with the world and you're right we don't see it and and to to the depth we need to

so i'm excited to bring it on I'm also excited to like bring these topics like that nobody wants to talk about mental health. My son's going through depression, you know, um, postpartum, like all of these things nobody talks about. And the cool thing is another aspect of Reishman Alex is that we get to see Alex's journey as a father going through fatherhood because we never talk about that aspect. I remember when I became really vocal about how deep my postpartum depression was, my husband started opening up and saying how hard it was for him too. And I was so deep into my own depression. I couldn't even see what he was going through. We were fight all the time. And he was going through so much because he was trying to hold it all down while I figured out if I even

wanted to be alive today. Like that's how bad it was at times. Right. So he was trying to hold down the babies and figure it like the whole first year of their life. He literally took care of them. I didn't even want to see them. I didn't even think they liked me because every time I went near them, they would cry. And it was like, I just, I couldn't, you know, it was just like, I couldn't, I don't know what to do. So he took care of them. And he's like, it was so hard for him. And we didn't get to see his part, you know. So it's like, we really want to highlight that as well. And I think part of healing as a human is just healing ourselves. we need to if we can't see the problem maybe if within ourselves we can if we see it on tv maybe we can identify it right and it's like kind of like you you see a show and you're like oh my god that's me oh my god that's me and then and it's good because then you can look inside and say okay if that's me how could i be better and that's what the show is plant when that's what we're

planning to do with the show it's not just trauma. It's about how to heal from the trauma. So these characters are going to take action into how to fix their village or how to find the healing pathways and reconciliation to then move forward for their children, for the future and all of that. So, yeah. Yeah. I love that. And you're reminding me along my own creative journey, I've realized that I tend to create songs, write songs, produce certain songs in a certain way at certain times that I need them most. I can share in another day, but I wrote a song for Gracie, my dog, many years ago. And when I actually produced it I couldn't sing it I was so emotional I was crying all the time until I couldn't cry anymore and I could sing it and I could produce it and whatever else and I've realized creativity is a beautiful

thing in that way that when you are nudged to do something it's your your inner self going this is going to heal you this is going to help you. This is going to help you. But more than that, it's going to help other people in the world too, because they feel that energy exactly like you say. So that's a beautiful thing that you get to share that with the world. And I know a lot of people are probably going through these things and not talking about it, feeling very lonely and feeling exhausted. So, so. Yeah, I feel like that's, that's what drove me to do it. Mostly. Um, one of my best friends went through a very similar

postpartum journey. And, uh, I think one day she called me and she said, I'm literally getting through today because of your stories. Thank you for sharing. And I was like, okay, this hat, like I've got to do something about this. This is just not right. Like so many moms, when I finally started speaking up, said that they too felt a bit of what I did. And while we hope no one goes through it the way we, the way I did at least. And that's usually the way I start a conversation with like a new mom or a mom to be, look, I hope you don't go through this, but I'm just going to tell you my journey. And I'm going to tell you that it's okay if you go through this, right?

That you're going to be okay in the end, but it's a long journey. My postpartum lasted over two years. Everyone says fourth trimester, right? By, you know, by the time you give birth four months later, you're fine. That is BS. There's parts of me that's still going through it, but I think I've healed a lot of what I've went through, but it's exhausting. And what you just said, Nicole, is so funny.

of what I've went through, but it's, it's exhausting. And what you just said, Nicole is so funny. I cry. I'm literally writing the script, bawling my eyes out. Cause I'm feeling it. There's certain parts in it because I'm actually the lead actress. I'm playing Reshma and there are certain pieces of it. When I rehearse, I, I need to take a step back. I'm like, I can't go there. You know, even though it's beautiful for the character. But it's an emotional, emotional journey. I remember sitting there cracking up one second, writing, you know, the mom, because she's really funny, her lines. And then bawling the next, because I'm writing Raisha's lines. And it was such an emotional journey. But I remember listening, I listened to a lot of different

um you know advice from from different writers and i don't remember his name but he said if you're going to tell a story tell it as authentic as possible even if you don't think anyone else understands what you're saying or what you're going through just tell it as authentic as possible because i guarantee you there's someone out there that's going to say, I get it. And that's what I did with the story. It's so me to some extent, right? Because it's still, it's not, it's a little exaggerated as well, but it's a lot of it is just my story. So it's, it's, it's really good. Yeah. Well, I think now people are just kind of more, there, there was an article, I don't remember where it was, but it was saying that people of our generation will actually never be the risk takers that our parents were in terms of it wasn't necessarily risk-taking but they don't have to deal with the like intense dichotomy that their parents had to

where it's like you leave your whole culture and come to a whole new one and then you have to like build your life from the ground up a lot of of us will never, will not move too far from our hometown or will still be closer than where they had to move from. We will be more secure because we would have education and we will make more, et cetera. We will probably find more stable jobs, et cetera. And so I think it's just really interesting what it takes for people to kind of go through that. If you ask me right now to like go move to Australia, set up brand new with no money, not knowing anyone who even knew what I look like or what my food was or my culture. I mean, that's the beauty of like, you know, sharing and you can identify, you know, I took a cultural communication class in school

and they were basically like stereotypes are a way for people to understand other people. Like you see a Jamaican person, you know that they like that culture likes jerk chicken. It's not like you're going to tell your friend, oh, are you making jerk chicken today? It's actually a way to identify with people before it gets like to the point where it's a negative stereotype or a positive one. And so it's really interesting to me, kind of like this intersection of cultures and what we actually take out of it. And I think like our generation, we are now in the position where we're not necessarily hiding or marginalizing, we're actually celebrating our authenticity. And it's because everyone around us also is celebrating, right? The Polish person, the Danish person, like you want to know what's going on. And obviously, not to make a

generalized statement. But I think so many of the things that our parents generation went through, I mean, I'm sure it was very difficult for them with their parents, right? They went through something completely different than their parents did, just like we're going through some completely different and being able to resonate with them, right? They're not like in the cane fields having 12 kids going back to work. Like they'd managed to not do that. So now it's our turn to kind of show them what the next frontier is. And I'm sure even our kids will be, you know, even different than we are. And so I think like a lot of the, you know, shining the light on the traumas and the mental, that was not something that people probably wanted to showcase because they were just

busy. You know, like you said, when you're going through your own things, you don't see everything else around you. And, you know, my, my Pam, like, I think I talked about this on here before, but they'll always be like, Oh, like, what are you wearing to this? Oh, did you have on makeup? And I'm just like, this is not the point. Like, who cares what I'm wearing? And like, what I look like, like, what about my brain? Right. Or my feelings are like other stuff. But, you know, I see now that I'm like getting a little older, I see a little bit more of that side of it.

But I think it's really important for people to just keep pushing with authenticity, whatever that is. You don't have to be, you know, a marginalized culture that doesn't see yourself everywhere to do that. I think KJ mentioned it on the last episode where she said something like, you know, if you don't lead with authenticity, people can't find you. They don't know where, you know, they can't identify, they can't go with you, they can't be led by you, they can't lead with you, they can't be inspired by you in the same way because you are not showing up as your true self. And so I think it's a really important message, as we go out and break boundaries. And not to make it sound really regal, it's not fun sometimes doing those things. It's not easy. And it's not necessarily noble. We can say it and it sounds like, oh, great, you guys are breaking boundaries boundaries it doesn't feel that great when you're breaking a boundary that's been held for a long time or a barrier or your whole life moves in a certain way and then you completely change the dynamics that doesn't feel good initially but something kind of pushes you along and so you know our

hope is when people listen to the podcast that they can think for themselves, similar to your movie. You think for yourself after you watch it. Well, if they can do it, I can do it. Well, OK, I see how someone has done X, Y, Z. So the next time it shows up for me in my life, maybe I think twice about how I would respond. Yeah. Yeah. And Nicole, I think you mentioned before, too, like you're a world traveler,, like, you're just, you're just a, what did you call it, a global citizen. So I can imagine, like, how it is for you, like, with the, like, even in your culture, because you're South African. And we talked about this previously, it was like, entertainment, like, what we're trying to do today even with your culture I'm sure completely different right the past generations like it's really our generation that's really like

identifying it and saying that it exists and now we need to like fix it yeah it is and it's you know it's interesting like listening to you guys coming from from that perspective because I'm also in this weird journey of being a global citizen kind of doing exactly what you were saying so I was taking myself into different places not knowing anyone and like planting myself there and at least here I can kind of speak French but a lot of people don't really know my home language of Afrikaans like when I share my songs or people are like Afrikaans is that a language like are you sure it's a language I'm like I grew up with this language what do you mean are you sure you know and so there's so little knowledge about this beautiful expressive language out there that's this mix of things too

and and so Swartcut Studios was really the start. Exactly like for you, you know, seeing beyond what is on the face. SwipeCut is about empowering authentic art and showcasing South Africa a lot too. But any voice that needs to be heard, amplifying that in the world. So very excited to also meet you on that offline. But yeah, no, it is. It really resonates true for me yeah and I think Taj to what you just said you know all of the generations before us went through their own right like I think it previously it's our great great great grandparents coming to Trinidad or

being indentured servants being brought to Trinidad it's kind of like every generation that I mean that's that's where I almost stopped because I don't know anything before that right like I just know when they came and then everything that happened after but like that generation came to somewhere new and started a whole new life and then our parents at some point our parents and chose to come here and start a new life and I think that we're doing the same thing even though we're not physically moving somewhere And I think that we're doing the same thing, even though we're not physically moving somewhere, we're changing the way they did things into a sort of a new way of doing things. And I think it's on something similar. It's about a young girl. She's an Indo-Caribbean American, and she has to fill out a college application that

as ethnicity comes up and she's like, I don't know what to pick. And she asks her mom and her mom's like, just pick other. And she's like, but I'm not an other. What are you talking about? She goes through this whole journey about like, I not an other you know she visits the school of her dreams and but then there's all these associations but there's no association for her so she tries to go to visit the indian american association but they ask her that question saj you know where in india are you from and she's like i don't know you know and and she she doesn't fit in and she doesn't fit in anywhere and you know she goes through this journey and then she has a dream of her great great great grandmother who came to trinidad to start this life and they have a discussion and her grandmother tells her

you know i i came here i started it you are the future like you take it beyond what i can do and you know if you don't feel like you're an other, change it, you know, and it's just, it's just this little short thing that I wrote, and I've never done anything with it. It's just sitting there. But now you're talking about it. I'm like, maybe I should actually do something about this piece. Yeah, it was it was an emotional piece for me. Because obviously, we can all identify with this, having to check other because we're not an other. Yeah. But yeah, were you part of the ones that we used to check other because we're not an other yeah but yeah were you part of the ones that we used to check pacific islander because you're just like i don't know those people

are kind of brown maybe that's no i didn't people would always tell me to do asian and i'm like i'm not asian like i'm not you know i'm not that that's so funny i remember filling out my college applications and literally going through that and i I remember NYU was the only one that had Caribbean. Yeah. Option. And I was like, oh. But the Caribbean part, I think, is even under the black. Right.

So it's black and then it's different types and then it's Caribbean. So which is still good. Right. Like, at least we have a box to check but it's still not 100 correct for who we are um and it's just yeah it's just one of those but again exhaustion right like we're trying to do so much all three of us on this podcast like we're trying to do so much and it's just you're just exhausted because you're trying to survive do do the right thing, raise a family, go to school, start businesses, you know, build a life, but then also change the way things are happening because

it's just not the right way. Like we just, we just have to lead with love versus, you know, the past where it's always been power. we're trying to like just have a whole completely different future for the next generation which is exhausting so exhausting it is it is and you know I think we've spoken about this a bit Saj as well it's like you know I think if you're being yourself in the world if you're really listening to that voice and you're being authentic then um you know and Simon Harry also said this a few weeks back if you're following that strength then that's the thing that you will have perseverance and that's the thing that you will be able to wake up for you know and if you're doing all these things but then you have a job that you

don't like that then it's like then it gets really bad so so I love that you are doing what you want to do, what your desires are. And I'm quite curious, you've obviously had quite a village along your way as well. What has been the best professional advice you've received? I don't really get a lot of professional advice. I think people just let me be a lot. My husband gave me one. I have to say that I think I live by now. I'm a perfectionist and it has to be perfect before I hit send. Like I'll sit and write an email that's three lines for an hour because it's not perfect.

And he at one point said, you need to get it to 80%. He's like, if you think something is 80% there, let it go. It's never going to be perfect. So 80% let it go. And I did that with my script because I would, I honestly would never finish it. So at 80%, I was like, okay, this is pretty good. I maybe can be better, but I'm going to let it go. And I let it go. And that was it. And so now I live my whole life by an 80, 20 rule. As long as I can get it right 80% of the time, I'm allowed to mess up 20% of the time, even with parenting. You know, it's like,

as long as I'm not screwing up these kids 100% of the time, 80% of the time I'm getting it right, I can screw them up 20% of the time. You know, because you end up being so hard on yourself to be the best at everything. You just can't be, right? And then you're not really supposed to be because

life is about mistakes. And so yeah, 8020 rule, I think that is the best advice I've ever gotten. It's helped me meet deadlines and get through things very easily, even in like health wise, 80% of the time I eat great 20% of the time I do my cheat meals and all that, you know, good stuff, I eat great 20% of the time I do my cheat meals and all that you know good stuff all that yummy food Saj that we have all the doubles and the you know all the things so yeah I think that's that's probably the best advice I've ever gotten I love that yeah I can do more of 80 20 in my life so thank you for the reminder yeah yeah yeah yeah What would you say, where do you see yourself in a year? Oh gosh. Um, so we are in April, it's April 9th. Um, we will finish filming episode one,

possibly even episode two, uh, packaging that up, uh, shooting. Hopefully once we put that together, we want to then get investors and producers to take a look at the show to see if they like the concept to then get funding for the rest of the season so you know i'd like to sing in a year some big producer picks this up and it's it's just it's gold right it's it's what every filmmaker's dream is so So that would be great. But what I do see definitely is a theater production. So I already started writing a script about our ancestors coming to Trinidad and them assimilating to this brand new culture and bringing out and showing the world what

Trinidadian culture is like on stage. So I've already sort of, it started off as a book and then my good friend said, why don't you make it into a play? And I was like, that's a really good idea. So it's going to turn into that. So by next year, it's either that script is going to be in production, like really, really getting there, maybe even finalize. I think that's a lot of pressure to put on myself, but that script is going to start becoming live and figuring out what to do there. So a film production this year, a theater production next year. So many exciting things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I wanted to have all of our wonderful dancing, you know, our music,

Indian music, Soka music, Africanan music all of it like all of it puts together everything that makes us trinidad you know everything that makes our culture so pretty and so beautiful so yeah i'm excited yeah let us know when i visit the you guys both have to come so you can show me around yes yes yes yes great time it's always a good time my goodness awesome well I think it's been that you know thank you so much for just sharing your story and all the things that you're working on and for um progressing in that way and showing others that you can that's a big thing that we like to promote on here and usually around this time we do something which is called the gem of the week which is just what is filling your cup this week what is

enabling and empowering you to be a successful working professional in the world so Nicole do you want to kick us off yeah sure and this week's really been about owning desires and it's very apt for the things we're talking about today so i feel like the the universe has really been pushing me a lot to like hey what is it that you want you know what is it that you really need and sometimes that's really hard you know talking about how we brought up societally and generationally and everything personality wise as well I find quite hard to say this is what I need how can you support me in that you know and these are my desires I'm really going to go for them full on and so yeah so it's really been a week of owning that it's really been a week of speaking that even just silently to myself and then being able to share them with the world when it's ready so and then

also connecting with really cool communities you know talking about all these communities that are global I found a really cool community called Wi-Fi Tribe check it out for anyone who's listening and and also another one called inter nations massive communities out there doing amazing things you know and and yeah just really vocal um around and it feels quite nice to have some people in france quite close going hey let's let's meet up and and do some cool things so yeah it's been a great week of self-communication and connectivity, I'd say. So yeah, what about you, Sar? Yeah, that's awesome.

I think it's always exciting when you kind of see other people, like other communities and like, ooh, who are these people? Here's my tribe, where have you been? For me this week, it's been, I've just been really head down, just doing a lot of work that I feel like I've been making lists in my head for I don't know how long actually checking off some of them and really just having the energy to do that and kind of trusting myself I would say which is a great sentence in itself sort of kind of trusting myself but just I do a lot of businesses with partners. And I some of them are the reason

you choose partners, I would say is you think that they have strengths that you don't, or you have an aligned mission, etc. So for me, I think I've been, you know, really interested to hear their point of view, but also trusting myself like, okay, well, my point of view is also valid. of view, but also trusting myself like, okay, well, my point of view is also valid. And, you know, I bring something to the table, I think it's just a really different dynamic when you're building something on your own, or with a small group versus working at a company where you're really shining to like, at a company to prove your worth and as an individual or like as a team leader I feel like it's very much about the individual whereas when you're working on something it's very much about the product or the output and so it doesn't matter which person it came from as long as it kind of

goes where it needs to go and for me this week it's been more about kind of asserting like, okay, this is actually where I want it to go. This is actually what I want it to do. Because after a while of not doing that for a while, you end up with something totally different. That's not even where you started. So just kind of course correcting and standing up and being like, okay, this is, you know, this is how I actually feel about it. This is actually going in a totally different direction and speaking up. And it's, it's also, I will say it's been easier for me. Like I didn't, I think I was bouncing around it for a little while, but when I actually did it, I was like, oh, this is actually easier. This is how I really feel.

This is what I actually want. It didn't feel like as much resistance as I thought I would originally kind of defending my idea or I didn't feel like relief. I just felt like, yeah, this is the way it is supposed to be done. Let's talk about it and see how we can move forward. And that's a difference for me is just like doing it without a negative conflict like conflict doesn't have to be negative is a big thing that I'm learning on this journey it can just be a difference of opinion and let's just talk about like how to get where we need to go I think that's easier for me in other areas but business-wise when it's your own businesses that's been a difficult one so that was my week what about you Debbie um man with this whole eclipse and everything else I feel like it's just been a lot

about change um sort of like leaving leaving my past behind and not looking back right and not saying that I should have done this I could have have done this, you know, all of that. And it's also about finding my voice. You know, I went through the last couple of weeks, it's been a little bit of a challenge just standing up for myself. And that's hard for me, right? And again, we talked about this before,

like this culture of ours that doesn't allow you to do that. And standing up for myself has been a big part of the last couple of weeks for me um standing up for what i believe in and not being scared to share how i'm feeling and i've really powered through that and i i man i was just smiling the other day because I was like, you go girl. You know, like, so it's felt so empowering. And I'm getting emotional thinking about it because I'm a completely new person. And that has really been what's filling my cup lately. And like to Saj, to your point, like I've always been that too, where in corporate, you just conform, right?

Like someone else says something, you're like, okay, fine. Like, you know, they dismiss an opinion of yours or something like that. But when it's your own and you have this passion and you're like, well, I'm doing this obviously, because I know what I'm doing. You have to trust yourself and you have really have to trust that. We talked about authenticity, like this is the way I want to do things. And this is the way it's just going to have to happen that way. Right. But also being open to say like, for example, like my, my dear friend, Alicia, who's my

director, I trust her a thousand percent to make sure that she gets the casting. Right. So it's like, I totally gave her that, like, do your thing, girl. You know, if there's something that we're like, Oh, we're not sure about this person. We'll, we'll come together on it. Right. But if she says, this is what she wants, it's like it's your vision. Bring it to life.

So it's also trusting the people that are in your life. So building that village that allows me to have this new voice, that allows me to be my authentic self, has been a really big part of who I am today. So, yeah, I think it's just change. It's change. It's not looking backwards. It's building this new life, this, this new village, and then finding my voice and living by my authentic self. And that's really been what the last couple of weeks are. And, um, it's exciting. It's exciting. Cause when I start thinking that way, I can just see opportunities

present. Like it's just, things are just coming to me and it's like, oh my God, it's actually, you know, it's all happening. And it's, it's, it's, you know, you are what you think. And that's such a true thing, right? It's like, you think negative, negative things going to happen. But if you, if you're so gracious for what you have and really think positive and all the good things that are, that you're things that you're meant to have, right? We're all meant to have amazing things. You'll just see those things coming little by little. And that's really what life has been lately. And it's beautiful.

And being on this podcast is just that. It's another thing that has filled my cup this week because I've met you. Well, Saj, we've known each other forever. I've just met a new friend, Nicole. And I can't wait to connect with you offline and see what we can do together. But that's it. It's just like the universe is just spinning around me

and it just feels so good. I love it. And likewise, likewise, it's been so wonderful to get to know you. I'm so grateful as well for the new friend and connection because I feel like we have so much resonance and the things we're doing in the world and yeah and just also to add to what you're saying i think it's so beautiful that when you're finding your voice the more you find your voice the more you kind of build that village and tribe i found that when things are not aligned to

that energy you realize it quicker you know you're just quicker um and it sounds to me like we all have had that kind of week you know just really standing strong speaking up and uh and so i guess on that note we can ask our audience out there our listeners um how are you navigating pursuing your passions how are you navigating standing up for yourself and enduring through exhausting times but you know moving through and please share with us we'd love to know yeah thank you guys so much I knew you guys would definitely uh connect on a million different creative levels um because as you can tell the creativity of Friday Feels is mostly Nicole, but I can contribute on the authenticity side. So it's been awesome to have you on, Debbie. Please share with our audience, you know, how they

can find you and connect with you. Yeah. So, I mean, God, I have my Instagram pages. So we have CBeyond Studios on Instagram. It takes a village as well. It takes a village underscore TV show. And then my own personal site, Debbieann underscore official. So that's like my acting. You can follow my journey through my acting career as well. It's so many different, you know, you have to create a handle for everything. It's like, oh, my God, I have so many Instagram handles. It's, it's making my head spin, but yeah. Or you

can literally just email me, you know, debiansemungle at Gmail or cbionstudios at Gmail. If you are interested in film theater, even if you're not an actor and you want to try, please, that's how we all started, right? We, we did, right? We had a passion and we did it and we went for it. We'll teach you. I've been doing this for 20 years more. So we're here. So if you are that, visit my pages. You can see what roles we're casting for. Please, we'd love to meet you. Even if you just want to be part of our background crew just to be on set that's that's even amazing if you're a writer and you want to write something you write something together we can produce something together um so yeah really exciting

exciting stuff and thank you guys so much for having me Saj I do want to say I'm so proud of you I've known Saj since she was a little girl. And funny thing, I don't even know if I met your siblings when I was, they might've been babies, like babies. I don't even think they were around. I don't think they were born. I'm not even sure if they were born. We used to babysit Saj. My cousin and I used to babysit her. So like, you know, so proud of you. It's so amazing that we got to connect again after all these years. But I'm proud of this podcast. I'm proud of what you're doing. And just keep it up. You know, we're changing things, right? We grew up with one sort of mentality, but I think we're changing it now. And it's beautiful. Yeah, thank you. I really appreciate that. I think it's on us now. We're

like at the age where it's like, okay, well, it's not the parents anymore. We're actually those people. We're the parents. Listen. We need to be the ones that are doing it. We're like, okay, I guess it's us then. Yep. But yeah, I look forward to all the great things that we're all on the path to.

And we encourage everybody that's listening to reach out, not only to us, but also to Debbie, if this is something you're really interested in doing, or just think you might be interested. I mean, I've learned so much by just, you know, talking to people, really trying so many different things. And so really excited to see, you know, all the great things that come out from Debbie and official and hopefully some cool stuff with Nicole and with Freddie Fields. And yes, definitely. Can't wait. I'm so excited. Yeah.

It's nice when you find your tribe. I will leave everyone at that and just say it is really nice. It's really reassuring. Sometimes the journey cannot is not super easy you don't know because you don't have a roadmap but it is it is nice when you find people who are have similar goals and you can work towards that and thankfully you know i'm nicole and ricky to do those things with and i'm sure you're also building your your kind of whole village debbie so it's really exciting to see that. Yes, definitely.

Awesome. Well, we'd love to hear from you guys. You know, remember to tag us using hashtag these Friday feels to share your stories and listen to us on all your favorite platforms. And to work with us, have us broadcast Friday feels from your space and organize your next workation or offsite. Reach out to us at hello at friday-feels.co. And next week, we'll be switching it up a bit and having a young professional and a dear friend, Lauren Muir, on the podcast speaking about her first corporate gig. So Lauren is an amazing

young woman who loves all things fashion and has a cool job as a social media manager of a chocolate company. Yes, you heard right. We'll be chatting on her journey from social media influencer to manager, as well as her professional journey of enduring through exhaustion. But until next time, that is our mix. We've had so much fun mingling with you and we wish you safe travels into your bed, into the night and into this awesome weekend so see you next week and keep it real