Your Happy Hour - Episode 6: Tell Me What To Do

Episode Date: January 12, 2024

Happy Friday everyone! Tune in to episode 6 and let’s chat about our new theme: Tell me what To DoHow do you navigate without a plan and what are the limiting beliefs we tell ourselves? In this episode we unpack topics such as: shedding the skin and unraveling your thinking, you are not your history, taking responsibility for your to-do’s, authority versus structure and practical tips on scheduling time and setting smart to-do’s. We’ll be here - every Friday - celebrating with you!Connect with us @ friday-feels.co▶ Podcast Chapters01:22 - Intro to our new theme: Tell Me What To Do03:20 - We’re Programmed for Structure05:00 - How to Change the Roadmap with Harvard Business Review 09:20 - You are Not Your History12:07 - Ralph Waldo Emerson: Don’t be Pushed by Your Problems20:00 - When Do You Ask? Come on Gracie, Tell me What To Do!21:20 - Nicole’s Story: The Poster of my Life29:06 - Saj’s Story: The Choice to Detangle30:55 - The Question of Authority Versus Structure33:20 - Gems of the Week & Scheduling Time to Worry38:03 - Episode 5 in Action: Saying Yes to Universal Gifts43:06 - Question for the Week: What are You Inviting / Instructing in Your Life?44:05 - Episode 7: Our Darling and Daring Jenn is on the Way!

Happy Friday beautiful people and hello to you all out there tuning in for your first sip of the weekend. you're tuned in to your happy hour with friday feels we're celebrating all you working professionals out there doing your crazy craft embracing the beauty of being human and connecting authentically and we are host sarge and nicole and we're living and working around the world holding space for you and keeping it raw and real as we share fresh content with you every week. Follow us on LinkedIn at Friday Feels and Instagram at These Friday Feels for updates throughout the week. In our last episode we discussed actioning your attraction aka manifesting we share some personal experiences of making room for allowing ourselves to manifest how we manifested aspect of our lives up until this

point and some habit tracking resources we've come across and what we're setting out to do in this new year for the rest of month, we're exploring the topic we are calling Tell Me What To Do. How do you navigate without a plan and what are the beliefs we tell ourselves? For those embarking on a new journey, it could be a new project, a new role, a new business. How do you cope with no set directives? Are you a to-do list kind of person or an intuition kind of person? How can we reframe limiting beliefs in our newest chapter? Let's explore. It's so great to be back on here with you, Saj. And I'm just going to start off by stating that I think we can be totally open about the idea that there are varying degrees of reactions to this sentence,

tell me what to do. This is a statement and now a theme for the month. It's likely probably the most provocative of the ones we've discussed so far. And maybe that's just me because when I first thought of this, everything in me was screaming, no, I do not want you to tell me what to do I will not ask you to tell me what to do and if I do it means I'm in dire straits no I'm just kidding but sometimes you know I do want people to tell me and show me what to do but the bottom line that I'm getting at is that depending on your personality depending who you are and what you've come from and where you are in your life, maybe your career path, or depending who is on the other side of that sentence, you will feel differently about how it makes you feel. And also, that is what makes this topic really exciting for me and intriguing, actually,

as a theme for us to explore over the next few weeks so those are my feelings how do you feel about it what does it mean to you yeah I agree it is a very triggering topic for me I do not like people telling me what to do either but I think what you said is really interesting it depends on who's saying it you know with what intentions and what it really brings up for you. And I think in school, we're pretty programmed to work well within structure. For example, in school, there are set periods, weekly assignments, quarterly report cards, grades, annual exams. And then in college, they loosen the reins a little bit, but it's still structured. And I think before work from home, that we might not even realize. And when we don't have a roadmap, that really changes the game for a lot of us. Sometimes on new projects, it can be hard even understanding the right tools, or navigating a new environment. I mean, that's definitely something that we talk about a lot,

you know, offline, is how are a lot, you know, off offline is how are we navigating, you know, having a company where we're not physically in the same place, where we have different experiences from different countries, from different tiers of leadership in different industries. And sometimes, you know, it's all gravy until you come up into a particular predicament that you might approach differently based on your cultural background or based on where you've worked or your level of leadership. And so I think it's really, really interesting to explore that dynamic and kind of having a new environment. having a new environment. And, you know, we talked about it a little bit on our first episode, but we, you know, both of us went through a layoff about a year ago, and that really changes the roadmap for us in terms of where we thought we'd be in our lives and what we had kind of set out

to do working at the previous company. And I came across this article in Harvard Business Review that they wrote actually about a year ago, and it was called Managing Your Emotions After Being Laid Off. It's by Susan Peppercorn. So she also wrote the book, Ditch Your Inner Critic at Work, Evidence-Based Strategies to Thrive in Your Career. I'm just sharing the actual title in case anybody is going through this and interested in what she had to say. I'm just sharing the actual title in case anybody is going through this and interested in what she had to say. I really liked the article. I thought it was very interesting. And she mentions that so many of the structures that you are forced to walk away from during a layoff. And so she said, getting laid off can feel devastatingly personal

and hard on your mental health, along with multiple hits from loss of income, status, daily structure, social support, self-esteem, and identity. There is also an inherent uncertainty that often comes with mapping out your next career move. To compound the problem, many organizations do not communicate their downsizing plans with the care and respect that employees deserve, which I think is so absolutely true. I think that, you know, if someone were to have asked me about a year ago, you know, how do you feel about this situation? There was probably like two things that I could say about how I was feeling about it. But actually reading this article made me feel really validated about some of the things that you were actually doing initiatives with and losing

kind of seeing them daily or monthly identity, you know, hey, I'm no longer a working professional. At that point, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do if I wanted to go into entrepreneurship, if I wanted to get another job. And so there's so many, I mean, she names like almost 10 different aspects of your life that are impacted that I hadn't even really thought of, right? And so I think that it's really important to recognize as humans, we grow and change and evolved. And some of that is shedding the skin of who you are and who you're becoming and really fighting for that new version of yourself. Sometimes we're struggling to imagine fighting you know for that new version of yourself sometimes we're

struggling to imagine a new future for ourselves and we need to remind ourselves too when we're kind of like looking inward that we're not our history we're not the person that we were before this experience and maybe this requires a new set of skills or a new part of our personality to shine in order to go to the next chapter. It's so true. And I love that shedding the skin. I actually wrote an article about that on Medium recently, and it's about the topic of feeling insecure. And when we tip it on its head, kind of knowing that you are actually insecure and like you are secure within yourself you know because no matter what you're going through in your life there will be seasons sometimes you're in relationships sometimes you're in a certain

job and then those move on and you still remain right and you still have yourself in that and then you you're changing all the time and it's helping you grow, but it is a grieving process. And, you know, we coming back to the topic that we were in, it's, it's, what are you telling kind of yourself what to do with yourself once you out of that season? And how much have you changed from listening to what other people have told you what to do and taken that on as an identity in who you are and so sometimes it takes a little bit of a detangling you know even out of a relationship they talk about the unraveling of the soul and it's the same for careers you know these are all relationships that we are going through in life whether it's romantic or career and working.

So I love that you are not your history. And it's something to remember, because we're all living in the present moment, and we can move forward from there. So that's very encouraging. You know, thank you for sharing that. I think it's not something that really blatantly occurred to me. It's kind of like you mentioned, like a slow unraveling of different layers and asking yourself a lot of questions, right? Like, why do I feel annoyed by this? Why is it, what is it that I'm missing? Am I missing physically going to the office? Am I missing physically getting up? Am I missing physically getting dressed? Am I missing seeing my coworkers? And it takes a lot to really

understand yourself, right? And your emotions. And I recently watched this show on Apple TV called Dear Edward. And basically, I don't know if anyone has seen it. I really liked it. But basically it shows the lives of families that were impacted by a plane crash where everyone dies except for one young boy. And so one of the guys, he's talking about his brother that passed away and he was estranged from his brother. His brother was on the plane. And so he was estranged from his brother because his brother battled addiction. And he said something that I thought was so profound. He said that he was talking to his brother who passed away, his fiance, and he was saying that his entire life was a reaction to his brother. The brother was such a mess. He always had to be the good son. And after the brother passed away, he could feel his mom

crumbling. And so he proposed to his fiance and he basically, he was just really living such a straight edge life, you know, great job, nice apartment, picture perfect wedding. He went into business with his family because he was the good son and he kind of did and followed the path of what he thought a good son should be. And did and followed the path of what he thought a good son should be. And I really wonder how many other people feel that way. You know, it's one thing to follow in your parents or your family's footsteps. And sometimes it's really easy to see those similarities, but I can name so many people in my life who I know took an active choice to live a different way than the example that was set for

them. And it's never easy. It's very bold sometimes. And there's a few who have probably chosen, whether they realize it or not, to live as a reaction to their circumstances, to choose differently from how their parents chose certain lifestyles or certain experiences. And so, you know, there's a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, it says, don't be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams. And it's really interesting to see people who do that. I don't think it's very common. And maybe you're really lucky that in your group or your chosen family that it is common. And but it does really help when you have people around you and you can see how they navigate life in a certain way. I think, you know, it's kind of the nature versus nurture thing.

You know, what are your circumstances? Why do you choose to do the things that you choose to do? But I thought when he said it, and you could actually see the life that this man was living, it was very different. He chose to do something completely different. The death obviously shook him a little bit. And maybe if that hadn't happened, he wouldn't have really reevaluated his choices in the same way. And I think as adults who are working professionals and we're at a different stage in our life where we're trying to figure out what we like and what we don't like. Sometimes we're set into these routines and these norms and the tell me what to do really pushes you to think about, you know, why you do the things that you do. And is it, you know, what is actually pushing some of those

emotions to the front and causing you to make the choices that you do you know talking about that quote by Rolf Waldo Emerson right and I think back to South Africa and there's a lot of poverty there but there's a lot of kids who come out of these townships and really like struggling families who end up sitting next to you at like the University of Cape Town and I really admired them because they looked around and they thought well there are a lot of problems around me but I'm not going to follow the same kind of structures I'm going to be led by my dreams and I always thought that was wonderful you know I think a lot of even a lot of creativity a lot of create great art a lot of great things come from struggle come from people kind of resisting being told what to do you know following their own path

but yeah it's interesting because I think it does bring up something we touched on briefly last week as well which is this issue of accountability. To me, it's really like taking responsibility to be the champion in your own life, right? This hero of your own story. And you know, when you look at the Marvel characters that we all look up to and grow up with, and we look to them because we feel inspired, right? About what they did did they take themselves out of ordinary lives to extraordinary places and it's like nobody told them they should be captain america or superman flying through the sky doing crazy things but it's this insatiable and undeniable feeling that they have inside that is telling them what they should do do something good follow your dreams

follow your joy and you know it took me a really long time to acknowledge the role I play in making these decisions in my life and I made some decisions that took me on trajectories where they stemmed on to from one single moment of giving my power away, where someone told me what to do into a whole different life that I probably could have avoided. And hence why I'm pushing against this theme so much, because I've walked a journey of knowing what it looks like when you get to a point in your life that you are living a life that you have been told by others what to do but you allowed that you know that's the thing when I thought about it this theme is really it's a statement but it's really a question I think because it's a question that you're asking that out of free will to someone else,

right? Whoever you wish to receive some kind of perspective from. So I think it's really important to know that when someone tells you what you ought to do or out of their own, that is their thing. It is their power. It's their authority. It's their perspective and their perception that you need them to tell you something. I think more importantly, perhaps sometimes people tell you what to do out of a need of their own to exert their own voice in the world so that they feel they have a purpose. They've created change. I've often experienced that with my parents. And I love them dearly. And I've had lots of conversations with them around this.

So I can speak about it openly. But I think as parents, you know, and I haven't had kids of my own, but you want to feel that sense of purpose. You want to feel that you are part of the change happening in your kids' lives and your kids become like an extension of you in the world, right? So there's that. And then I think on the converse, when you're asking someone, you know, tell me what to do, no matter what they say to you,

you still have a choice to see what they say as not as an instruction but as an invitation to explore. And perhaps they have a really good idea, you know, perhaps it highlights something about the way you were thinking about something. Perhaps it's just the mere words coming out of their mouth that helps you to see what truly aligns for you, even if it's different. So I think this is just all around such an important topic when it comes to the working world too,

because we are constantly engaging with colleagues, employees, managers, clients, people, humans, that are in essence, every single day, telling us and asking us themselves, you know, we are all asking ourselves what it is that we need to do, what it is that we want to do. So I think it's a really important topic for this podcast. Yeah, and I think that when you do find yourself, an important question is, I would say for our audience, is that when you do find yourself wanting to say to someone or something in your life, tell me what to do, do you have any experiences with people telling you what to do that took you down a certain path in your life, tell me what to do. Do you have any experiences with people telling you

what to do that took you down a certain path in your life and really sitting with that, right? And we'd of course love to hear from you. And I will say that there have been so many WhatsApp messages and LinkedIn's and messages and Facebook messages and texts to both Nicole and I from people that we know. And there's a lot of people in my life that I've sent the podcast to that I'm like, this is really going to resonate with you. I know you're really busy, but I really think, you know, you build your tribe one by one. And so there's a handful of people I really sent it to. And I was like, you know, please listen and give me your feedback. And I knew it would resonate with them.

And so while we might not share all of the, we're still figuring out how to share all of the feedback with everybody that listens. But I thank you so much for all of you that have answered our questions and have shared your feedback and have shared your experiences. And we're really happy to hear that. And it does inform the topics that we choose next. It does inform the questions that we choose. Because while it's just the two of us talking,

it's really a reflection of collective experiences that we've heard, that we've witnessed, that people have asked us to talk about. And so please keep them coming. And please do share you know what this topic means to you and any experience that you have had with it Nicole do you have any more personal experiences of uh when you found yourself wanting to say to someone or something in your life tell me what to do I do you know I the first thing that comes to mind is not a someone but as something and I well to me she's a someone but Gracie my dog you know as we've been traveling

throughout the last year I think one of the big things is for me as a probably as an Aquarius and for those astrology lovers out there you'll understand what I mean but just as a personality that I am I am so indecisive and I feel like I'm probably on this journey to learn how to make decisions you know but I get tired of making decisions sometimes so I often will sit with Gracie and I say to her, well, you just tell me what to do, you know. And we've had situations where I've actually like written two different places, you know, whether it's maybe Austin, Texas or wherever else it was on pieces of paper. And I would like shuffle them behind my back and then I'd give them to her and I'd be like,

well, you pick one now, where are we going? Where do you want to go? And she kind of just looks at me like, you know, well, you one now where are we going where do you want to go and she kind of just looks at me like you know well you're just crazy I'll go wherever you want to go you take us um so so that's that's some point in my life where sometimes I just wish someone would tell me what to do and then you kind of have to remind yourself that your your heart always knows and then a different situation was you know and this is coming back to what I was saying earlier about parents and my dad and I laugh about this now but it's it was it was this funny time when I was about 10 years old and it really was quite a defining moment for me in my life and it took me a long time to kind of work through this so

but I had this poster you know remember that time where like they used to put posters I don't know if this happened in other countries but in South Africa the magazines had like a poster in the middle of the magazine you can kind of take it out and put on your wall and I always had these like really hunky guys posters on my wall I thought they were hunky and I had this poster of this girl and it was just the advert actually a cell phone company's advert but the school was kind of like being all boisterous and and you know out there and just loud I guess in her expression and I put that on my cupboard and when I think of myself now you know it kind of it still resonates but perhaps it wasn't very much who I was being or portraying to the world but it was who I wanted

to be expressive out there fun you know and all of that and I remember my dad coming into my room and sitting down and looking at it and going, I'll take that down. That's not you. And I had this opportunity to make a decision in my life of like, are you going to tell me what to do or am I going to be authentic in what I want and who I am? And I took it down. And, you know, it took me on a journey of a long journey of often giving men in my life a certain authority of telling me what to do or what was okay or what was to be loved.

And it's a whole deeper discussion, but it took me a really long time to see that. It took me a long time to see that I was open to other people allowing them to tell me what to do as a way to live my life. And I didn't really acknowledge that in that moment I made a decision. I was so angry at the situation that only later I realized, like, hey, no, no, no, girl, you made a decision in that moment in time. You always have a choice. Nobody can actually tell you what to do with your life.

And, yeah, it was actually quite hard to work through that and now I'm very careful about who I ask opinions from or what I take from people and how I observe my reactions to those kind of things and staying true to yourself so yeah that was a really interesting time how about you what what's been an experience for you where you felt like you invited that in or didn't invite that in yeah no I will say one I think that you are not an indecisive person you very candidly share your feedback with me all the time which I completely appreciate I really do and I don't say that lightly because as someone who doesn't like being told to do, I do value your opinion and being candid and building this business with you. I think that you're incredibly brave for all the decisions that you do make. I

mean, there's been like tons of countries you've managed to travel to get put together, get a here in time for our initiatives for planning our different podcasts. And it's so many decisions that you are making, I can see it by the work that you put in here. And so that's just for our company. I know you work on other initiatives as well and so you might have decision fatigue which would be totally normal I'm not sure if you heard about Steve Jobs who used to wear the same thing to work so he just wouldn't have to waste time figuring out what to wear every day and that's how I feel when you tell me about all the countries you're going to I'm like so do you want to stay one place? Wouldn't that help you like feel settled?

You don't need to feel settled to build these businesses. And that's definitely something we've talked about. And so I will just say that I do think that you are very decisive because you have to be in order to do all the things that you do. And so it is a testament to, you know, I don't want to say bravery. It is incredibly brave, but it doesn't mean that if you don't ask people what to do, or you don't tell

yourself what to do, you're not brave. But I will say that it does, it takes a lot of courage is probably the right word to one, talk about your accountability in giving away your power and i don't know do you are you a friends fan not really i've watched a few episodes but i haven't actually watched a whole thing from front to top i've watched it like a million times i'm the hugest friends fan ever everybody knows this but there's one episode there's one episode where the three girls read a book about giving your power away. And I forget what it's called. It's like your flower or something, giving your power away. And they just kind of go on these rants about three guys in their lives or whatever that are talking about giving away your power.

And they just, you know, Ross is dating Rachel at that time. And he's like, all right, come on. We got to go. We're going to Rachel at that time and he's like all right come on we gotta go we're gonna miss the movie and she's like no you know you're telling me what to do why are you always telling me what to do and he's like I'm not telling you what to do like the movie theater is telling us that the time is at six and it's 5 45 so we need to go if we're gonna catch the boat and she's like you're always trying to steal my thunder or something like that it's just so funny it's so funny because they totally revolt against them and it's you know and they make it funny because they're saying like these are not the actual conditioning but um but anyway you should definitely watch that episode i'm gonna find it i'm gonna send it to you

but you gotta know that you're gonna know the characters to know how funny it is but i think maybe if you don't know them as well it'll still be funny and they do this whole you'll love it they do this whole ritual and like thing to like cleanse their aura to get rid of you know the bad energy and stuff like that it's's just really funny. And so, but I think it's true. It's true. When you're, you, it's, it's very hard to kind of tell yourself what to do when you don't have structures for some people. And for other people, that's an environment that they thrive in. And I think, you know, it's a fine balance. And especially working in the corporate world. This is why we chose this as, you know, the next topic, because it's very controversial. It's something that look, when you sign on for a job, you have job responsibilities. You have managers, you have quotas and performance reviews that show you how well you're doing. And it's up to you to kind of show up and accomplish those.

And it's all the little things in between, I think, that we go through that we really kind of want to shed light on in this podcast. And so, you know, we have some really cool stuff coming up and really cool speakers that are talking about this topic. stuff coming up and really cool speakers that are talking about this topic. And for me, I would say an experience of when there's something or someone or something in my life telling me what to do. I did have an instance where I had a business partner and things weren't really going very well. And it took a lot for me to really think about if I wanted to stay even in the same industry without this partner, and what would it look like if I were to try to do this on my own? And if I didn't want to do this

on my own, why is it that I was doing it anyway? Right? And so I think it's a lot of these questions that we're talking about where you constantly have to ask yourself, you know, who are you doing things for? Are you doing things to be closer to this business partner? Will this person still want to be in my life if this business doesn't work out? And what does that say about our relationship? What does that say about the way that they want to manage things? If I don't agree with them, are they still going to want to meet me for coffee? And are they still going to want to, you know, participate with me in life in a different way? And it really caused a rift between us, but I think we were all the better for it and kind of walking away. And I took a

break from that industry and that partner for a while. And, you know, anything we did after a while was, look, if we're going to do it, these are the terms that I have. And if I don't feel comfortable doing business with or that you like or that you have a relationship with because it changes right it changes the relationship and it's sometimes it's really hard and so for me tell me what to do is is definitely a big thing where I don't totally love authority but I do kind of like structure in a way. And I remember once, you know, I, I had a therapist where they told me, they were like, well, it sounds like you do well with structure. And I was like, no way I do well with structure. I hate structure. And then I started thinking about, I think I had gone through a layoff at some point. And I was just talking about how, you know, I'm, I don't had gone through a layoff at some point and I was just

talking about how, you know, I don't know what to do with my day here. I'm sleeping a lot. I don't have a regular exercise routine. And then I started getting one and they made the observation for me. And it was really something I would tell myself all the time. I was like, no, I don't like structure. I don't like structure. And then looking back at what worked, what didn't, when I felt happier, when I felt more in control, when I felt more at peace, maybe not in control. It was when I had some sort of regimen or something to look forward to. And sometimes it takes other people to tell you that, or sometimes it's something that dawns on you yourself. That's really one experience or a few experiences that have resonated with me on this topic.

Thank you for sharing that in terms of your business partner because I think that's such a hard thing. It's not easy when you work with people. You have these two humans coming from different perspectives in life and people come with their own management styles and their own ideas of telling what to do telling themselves what to do telling you what to do and how you navigate that space in terms of getting progress throughout that is really not easy so I think it's wonderful that you guys could work through that and still have a healthy relationship. I think a lot of people, when they have companies together and then, you know, there's a situation where you can't work together anymore,

they never reconcile. Some people end up in court, you know, with a lot of money later. And, yeah, so that's really, we always strive to have a great outcome, you know, and have healthy relationships in life. And that's something we've often spoken about offline as well. So thank you. And I'm really glad to hear that. And what do you feel has been your gem of the week?

Something that's been empowering for you feel has been your gem of the week uh something that's been empowering for you and enabling you to be successful yeah I think this week for me it's just been my body forcing me to get a lot of rest um and really there's a lot going on right now. And so mentally, I think that load has, uh, taken over and it's kind of forcing myself to kind of slow down a little bit and was able to go to two waterfront properties, um, for events this weekend in Florida. And it was actually really beautiful. I realized how much I'm secretly like a water baby. I just feel really calm near the water and realizing what things I like, realizing the things that keep me calm and really thinking to myself, like, is this rest? Is this

calm? Is this being lazy? I think there's a lot of that for me it's very hard for me to differentiate the two and I also default to just saying well I'm being lazy then but it is a thought process for me to really understand like is it peace is it rest or is it calmness that I'm seeking out my naturopath, she's always telling me to put on castor oil packs or like I noticed, actually, there's certain things that get me to shut up. It's the castor oil packs, it's getting a massage or like something for my acupuncture. I literally said that to her today. I was like, yeah, I noticed after I did it for a while. I think it had a big effect because I actually shut up for a while. My boyfriend heard me say it and he was like.

But it's true. I noticed it about myself is that I do. I do tend to calm down a lot. It calms down a lot of the thoughts that I have. And my body, I think, just feels a little more peaceful. And I don't know if you've ever, that I read this week, something that I read that was interesting is, I don't know if you've ever heard of this, but have you ever heard of scheduling time to worry? No, I've heard of scheduling time to be happy and love.

But I've never heard of the worry. What does this look like? concept where it's like you schedule 15 minutes in your calendar to worry so that when you find yourself throughout the day uh i think it was on like when you when you always jump to like doomsday conclusion is that uh you spend a lot of time just worrying about things but not actually maybe doing the things that would help alleviate the worry. And so if you schedule time to worry, it's almost like your mind, it's like a trick you play on your mind to say, well, if I'm supposed to worry from 6.30 p.m. to 7, then that's not the time it is right now. So if it's 11 a.m. and I'm worrying and you catch yourself doing it, you have to be like, oh, well, that's for later.

Let me just focus on what I'm doing right now. And it's a way that you kind of trick your mind to compartmentalize all your worries in a certain time period so that when you catch yourself, you force your mind to say, well, this is not the right time for this. Let me keep doing what I'm doing. And I'll send you an article on I mean I'm sure there's more to like unpack there but that was something that I came across so I think I want to try it this week I don't think it's going to work but I'll try it well I think that's a wonderful healthy tell me what to do moment for yourself right so when when we talk about the to-do list which is not something we've really covered much

on this topic, which is also part of it, you know, it's like telling yourself what to do. Do you write lists? Do they work for you? And how do you schedule your time? I mean, that's such an effective way to help you manage your emotions. And if you are someone who worries, if you are someone who feels like you don't get things done because you find yourself wandering into a world of your own, you know, scheduling the time like that is really helpful.

So I think that's a great little trick and tip there. What about you? What have you discovered this week? I took a bit of our advice from last week on actioning attraction and manifestation. And, you know, I wasn't quite sure where I was going to next. I hadn't really planned. And I had a feeling that things would work out. But, you know, like you say, you do worry a little bit.

And I just really like gave it to the universe. And I said said thank you and i wrote this down in my diary and i said thank you for a wonderful place where we're going next where the decision to move is easy when the way the move is easy and um i found this work away the lady needs help with her dog she's going in for operation and it's not far from here and she is so kind she just offered to come and fetch us where we are and so we don't even have to travel the bags on trains and buses and everything and I just feel so grateful after doing a lot of that in the last year it was an easy decision it was an easy move she wants someone

long term so it's been a blessing. And just to see that kind of manifest so quickly and come into fruition in life and be able to say yes to that, I think that's such a big thing as part of that whole bucket of attracting is that you also have to make a decision, right, like we were saying, and you have to say yes to it. that's been a really wonderful blessing and gem of the week for me that I know that I will be in a stable place where I can keep working and building and the things that we're doing for the next few months that's awesome that's really exciting and it's it's good to hear the universe had your back on this um which town are

are you going to um i'm going to the region uh artèche and it's a little tiny town called i don't even know if i'm saying it correctly yet but it's very small and um it's it's going to be another little interesting French village experience. Oh, my God. You must be eating the best food, best quality, like cheese and bread and stuff. You know, I feel like the French are very, they make great food, but they're very simple people. You know, they like dipping their croissants in their coffee there it's a it's a wonderful um humbling experience to kind of watch them and and see how down to earth they actually really are besides the very fancy pastries that come out of this country

oh man well enjoy it sounds amazing um and so you know, thank you guys for kind of sharing with us in this and listening. And, you know, as a recap for this episode on Tell Me What To Do, just remember that you have chosen family, you know, people along your path that you have resonated with, people you can speak to about anything, try asking them, you know, when you saw me at my best, what was I doing? Nicole, do you have? Yeah, do you have any other advice for our listeners for moving into the next week of the new year? Yeah, I think something that I really came to mind with this theme is the topic of to-do lists so something I did a few years ago was threw away the to-do list the diary and I realized that I spend a lot of

time writing things down that I could spend the time doing it's a great feeling when you can tick it off but sometimes it actually does waste more time so experiment with throwing away the to-do list I think what is truly important is already in your mind and just write down those things that you really can't remember you know that are helpful to put down maybe if you're going to the grocery store or evaluate whether your to-do lists are helpful to you or potentially hurtful to you in cluttering your to-do game and then I think another thing just to add to that is to just take a moment and you know what we were saying earlier consider how you are absorbing or reacting to what is being said to you in your life you know Let yourself kind of see your own narrative.

Start noticing when it is that you are inviting people to tell you what to do, when it is that you are instructing people to tell you what to do. And actually, how does that leave you feeling? Are you walking away with a sense of improved self? Are you walking away with a sense of lost power you know are you allowing yourself to the opportunity to work through things on your own and where you are needing assistance can you actually then welcome it with open arms sometimes it's really nice when someone can show you what to do especially when it is on excel or google Sheets. So our final question is then I guess to the audience,

you guys out there, what are you inviting in? What are you instructing from an external source to yourself and telling you how to live your life? And how are you responding? Let us know. Let us know how that has made you feel we'd love to hear from you please share your thoughts on this topic by engaging with us on linkedin at friday feels and on instagram at these friday feels and remember to tag us at hashtag these

friday feels to share your stories and you can work with us or potentially have us broadcast Friday Feels from your space. So check out our website at friday-feels.co or reach out to us via email at hello at friday-feels.co. We are now live on all platforms, including Spotify, Google, Apple, and Amazon. And you can also find all the episodes on our site,iday-feels.co and we are very excited for next week we will be having the darling and daring jen sanchez and jen is a former da agent who's worked with us previously she's also had amazing years of experience in investigations involving foreign public corruption, virtual currency exchange, cybercrime and terrorism, and has now moved into corporate consulting.

And she will be sharing with us on the topic, tell me what to do and then don't micromanage me. There's a whole host of things we can unpack in terms of management styles next week. So we are extremely excited for that. But until next time, that is our mix. We've had fun mingling with you and we wish you safe travels into your bed, into the night and into this awesome weekend. See you next week and keep it real.